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1) The Dirty Sanchez -- When you're going at it doggy-style and just as
you're about to spill your load, you plunge a finger into her poopshoot and
reach around to her upper lip, where you proceed to paint on "The Dirty
Sanchez."
2) The Wet Burrito -- Similar to the Dirty Sanchez, only performed with
your own ball sweat.
3) The Code of Silence -- Anytime you fuck a girl that's so dirty or ugly
that you rip off the used condom, gag her with it, and tell her that you'll
kill her if she tells a soul what just happened between the two of you.
4) The Coyote -- When you wake up the morning after sex with an absolute
beast to find that she's sleeping on your arm and rather than have to talk
to her or, god forbid, touch her again, you gnaw your own arm off and leave
it there.
5) The Purple Mushroom -- When your receiving a little oral pleasure from a
girl and just before you shoot your load, you whip it out of her mouth and
try to impale her cheek. The impression it leaves resembles a purple
mushroom.
6) The Divot -- A must for golfers! When you've got your hand below the
belt on some girl with a fair amount of bush, you grab on to as much of it
as you can, scream "Fore!" and rip every last pube out of her.
7) The Bronco -- When you're taking a girl doggy-style and just at the
moment of climax you reach around, grab her tits as tightly as you can,
scream out another girl's name, and enjoy the sensation as she tries to buck
you off.
8) The Rodeo -- A variation of the Bronco where a bunch of your closest
friends are hidden in a bedroom closet prior to the sexual encounter. At
some type of a prompt, they all run out with a video camera and you try and
see how long you can stay on as she tries to get away.
9) The Pearl Necklace -- When you are enjoying a fine blowjob or
titty-fucking session and you happen to leave a line of droplets resembling
a string of pearls around her neck.
10) The New York Style Taco -- Any time that you are so drunk that you go
down on a girl and puke in her box.
11) The Stinky Pinky -- When you're going at it from the back and you
insert a pinky finger in along side your member, reach around front, and
plunge it so far into her nostril that it tilts her head back.
12) The Gobstopper -- When you're receiving a hand job and just as you're
about to come, the girl decides to squeeze your unit with all of her might
and cap you off with her thumb.
13) The Stranger -- When the tedium of your nightly jerk off becomes too
much so you sit on your hand until it falls asleep, giving the sensation of
someone else doing it.
14) The Donkey Punch -- When you're attacking a girl from the back and at
the moment of climax you pull out, plunge it into her cornhole, let out a
mighty "Hee Haw!" and punch her in the back of the head. Note: In order to
fully enjoy the Donkey Punch, you must knock her out as this results in a
tightening of the asshole.
15) The Hot Lunch (aka Cleveland Steamer, aka Hot Carl) -- When you're
receiving a blow job from a position where you're crouched over her face on
all fours and you drop a monster shit right onto her chest.
16) The Chili Dog -- A variation of above where you proceed to titty-fuck
her afterwards.
17) The Shocker -- When you're fingering a girl and decide to give her a
surprise so you insert a digit or two into her asshole.
18) The Beetle Clip -- You insert your thumb into the snatch and forefinger
into the poopshoot and try your damndest to make them touch each other.
19) The Six Pack -- When performing the above and you attempt to carry the
girl around (similar to the way you would a six pack).
20) The Golden Shower (aka Watersports) -- Any shape or form of
>urinating on or in a girl.
>>>21) The Bismarck -- When you've got your dick buried to the hilt in
>some girl's throat and you pull out to sign her face, then belt her, and
>smear the blood and come together.
>>>22) Tossing Salad (aka Rim Job) -- A common prison practice that could
>>>also be termed "eating asshole."
>>>23) The Cave -- When you blow your load into a girl's mouth and
>proceed to kick her teeth in, making her mouth look like a cave.
>>>24) The Bullwinkle -- When you're entering your partner from the rear
>and you reach up front, wrench her nipples as hard as you can, put your
>hands up to the sides of your head like antlers, and wiggle your fingers
and
>>>stick out your tongue while emitting a high pitched turkey gobble.
>>>25) Felching -- A homosexual activity in which one fag fucks another
>and proceeds to suck his own splooge out of his partner's asshole with a
>straw. This one's not even popular in prison.
>>>26) The Dog in the Bathtub -- The name given to attempting to drop
>your nuts into a girl's asshole. Aptly named as it's about the only thing
>>>harder than getting a dog into a bathtub.
>>>27) The Dolphin -- When you're giving it to a girl from behind and you
>>>pull out to stuff it in her butt when she turns her head around and
>>>whimpers, "Uh Uh, Uh Uh," sounding exactly like a dolphin.
>>>28) The V-Plow -- When you're muff diving and in order to look up at
>the girl you drag your whole face through here snatch, nose proudly leading
>the way, parting that nasty labia.
>>>29) The Crimson Tide -- When you're going down on some girl and, to
>your surprise, the lunar alignment dictates that her monthly flow has just
>to begun.
>>>30) The Free Willy -- When you've worked up such a throbber that when
>some girl unzips your pants to give you a hummer, you spring forth and poke
>her eye out harpoon style.
>>>31) The Mudslide -- After convincing some girl to give you a little
>ass munching action, you proceed to unleash a massive flow of diarrhea and
>sit there and laugh as it runs down her face and body.
>>>32) The Fortune Cookie -- After you're done banging some chick, you
>slip the condom off as you pull out, leaving it in there for the next
>customer.
>>>33) The Eiffel Tower -- When you and a friend decide to work a girl
>over together. You get her down on all fours with one of you in her mouth
>and the other going at it doggy style. From this position you give one
>another a mighty, two-handed high five, making the entire structure
resemble
>the Eiffel tower.
>>>34) The Angry Dragon -- On the first round of the night, work up an
>>>extremely large load during a blow job. Just before you're about to
>>>explode, grab the back of her head and ram your unit as far down her
>throat as possible, causing her to gag on your pint of fluid. The result?
She
>>>spews it out of her nose, making her resemble an angry dragon.
>>>35) The Flying Camel -- A personal favorite. As she is lying on her
>back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance
>yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to
flap
>your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a camel in
distress.
>>>Strictly a class move.
>>>36) The Fishhook -- A variation of the shocker in which you pull back
>>>towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.
>>>37) The Ram -- Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start
>ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the
wall
>>>against her head should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for
>those lulls in penile sensitivity.
>>>38) The Fountain of You -- While sitting on her face and having her
>eat your asshole, jerk off like a madman, build up as much pressure as
>possible before releasing, and spew like a geyser all over her neck, tits,
and
>>>stomach (Better in her bed).
>>>39) The Pink Glove -- This frequently happens during sex when a girl
>is not wet enough. When you pull out to give her the money, the inside of
>her twat sticks to your hog. This is referred to as the pink glove.
>>>40) The Fish Eye -- Fucking her from behind, you shove your finger in
>her ass (or his if you are in prison) whereupon she turns around in a
>one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell is going on back there.
>>>41) The Fur Ball -- You're chomping away at some trollop who has a
>mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth fur
>ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.
>>>42) Tea Bagging -- When she takes your whole scrotum into her mouth
>and holds it there like a tea bag in a cup of hot water.
>>>43) The Hummer -- While sucking on your rod, she emits a low humming
>>>noise. The vibrations from her throat make it all too easy to bring
>her concert to a quick end.
>>>44) Snow Balling -- Occurs when some chick takes your load in her
>mouth and has the audacity come up and kiss you while it's still in there.
>>>45) The Camel Clutch -- When she's lying on her stomach with you
>giving it to her from behind and you decide to emulate the Iron Sheik
through his
>>>signature move, grabbing her underneath the chin and pulling straight
>back with both hands.
>>>46) The Rumpledforeskin -- When some girl makes you stop fucking her
>>>because she somehow realizes that you don't remember her name, causing
>you to go limp (like the fairy tale).
>>>47) The Skull Fuck -- The act of removing a person's eye (unless you
>>>really luck out and find someone who's already lost one) and fucking
>the gaping whole left in its place.
>>>48) One in the Fridge, One in the Freezer -- Another one that requires
>a partner, this simply refers to you and a buddy putting one in her pussy
>and another in her butt, and simultaneously trying to reach her uterus and
>>>large intestine.
>>>49) The Repunzel -- When no amount of suggestion, persuasion, or
>begging will get a girl to go down on you and you're forced to resort to
simply
>>>pulling her head down there by the hair.
>>>50) The Boston Cooler -- Any form of oral stimulation in which you
>>>cleverly conceal ice cubes in you mouth to surprise your partner.
>>>*and* ...
>>>
>>>51) The Triple Crown -- Any three of the above events performed upon
>the same person.
>>>52) The Hat Trick -- Any three of the above events performed over the
>>>course of a single evening.
>>>53) The Technical Knockout (TKO) -- Any three of the above events
>>>performed upon the same person over the course of a single evening.
>>>54) The Clean Sweep -- Any four of the above events performed upon the
>>>same person.
>>>55) The Grand Slam -- Any four of the above events performed over the
>>>course of a single evening.
>>>56) The Rape and Pillage -- Any four of the above events performed
>upon the same person over the course of a single evening.
Wednesday, July 24th 2002 - 09:57:32 PM
Name: diesel
Homepage URL: http://www.etrucker.com
Comments:Racing the pinstripes
By Jim Beach


Mike Dunn drives the Gwynn/Steinbrenner Racing Yankees Top Fuel dragster.

A drag race is over in a matter of seconds but fielding a successful NHRA Top Fuel dragster is a “seven-day-a-week job,” according to John Maddox, chief mechanic for the Gwynn/Steinbrenner Racing New York Yankees Top Fuel dragster.

The name “New York Yankees” evokes many things: tradition, winning and dynasty, to name just a few. Last year, the Yankees’ well-known and often controversial owner, George Steinbrenner, put the Yankees name — and winning tradition — on the line in the world of Top Fuel drag racing when he formed a partnership with former driver Darrell Gwynn to field a Top Fuel dragster bearing the Yankees name. Formed last August, the Gwynn/ Steinbrenner Racing partnership also includes Hank Steinbrenner, George’s son; and Darrell Gwynn’s father, Jerry Gwynn, who serves as team general manager.

Darrell Gwynn, NHRA top alcohol dragster world champion in 1983, was one of drag racing’s top drivers until a 1990 racing accident left him partially paralyzed. He also lost his left arm below the elbow in that accident, but continues to run the team’s day-to-day operations. The Gwynn team won four times on the 1999 NHRA circuit but lost its sponsor for the 2000 season.

In stepped the Steinbrenners, with Hank serving as the family’s point man. In an interview with USA Today just after the partnership was formed last year, the elder Steinbrenner admitted he didn’t know too much about racing but that his son was quite interested in the sport. Hank Steinbrenner also runs his father’s thoroughbred racing operation.

The NHRA Top Fuel season runs from the first week of February to early November and features races at tracks all across the country. Getting the team and its equipment to the track falls to Maddox and Steve Zelem, an engine specialist. Maddox and Zelem also serve as team transport drivers.

Truckers News caught up with Maddox and Zelem at the Pro Racers Truck Wash in Sacramento, Calif., in early August as they were making their way to the Sears Point Raceway in Sonoma, Calif., for the Fram Autolite Nationals. The previous weekend, the team had raced in the NHRA Northwest Nationals in Kent, Wash. John Cox, owner of Sacramento Theatrical Lighting and a longtime NHRA enthusiast, provided the truck wash for team transporters. Several other team rigs graced the lot, just off a busy industrial area near downtown.


Team chief mechanic John Maddox (left) and engine specialist Steve Zelem do double duty as team transport drivers. “We work seven days a week with hardly any time off,” Maddox says, but he loves his job.

“We’re different than other racing circuits like NASCAR, IRL or CART,” Maddox says. “Steve and I are actually mechanics that drive the truck. We don’t have team truck drivers per se. We actually work on the cars. As soon as we get everything unloaded, we go right to our duties on the racetrack.”

That makes double duty for the two, Maddox says, “But considering we only run about 35,000 miles a year, it’s not that bad.”

The transport trailer is the team’s heart. It holds two race cars, one “completely assembled and ready to go” and another car that is “basically a chassis with all the electrical components and everything else in place.” The backup is bolted to the upper wall inside the trailer.

The trailer also holds all the tools they need, according to Maddox. Even when they are back at home base in Florida, they keep all their tools on the trailer. “The trailer backs up inside the shop and we work out of the trailer just as we would at the track, because it’s set up as our shop. That way, we don’t have to move equipment in and out. We know right where everything is.”

A machine shop occupies the front part of the trailer and includes a valve grinder, lathe, clutch grinder and other key equipment. The car is stored on ramps in the top back of the trailer while other equipment and supplies take up the rest of the trailer.

Maddox, who lives in Davie, Fla., where the team is headquartered, has been “on the road full-time racing for 8 years,” he says. He’s worked for other teams and also drove the transport while with the Camel team. “I’ve always had my CDL,” he says.



Gwynn/Steinbrenner Racing’s New York Yankees NHRA team transport sports Yankees pinstripes. “Since we’re on the road, we wear road colors,” chief mechanic/driver John Maddox says.

The car, trailer and truck, a Kenworth T2000, all sport the Yankees logo and pinstripes — white on dark blue, their road colors, according to Maddox, since the team is always on the road. “Our motor coach wears the home colors, blue pinstripes on white.” The distinctive Yankees paint scheme attracts extra attention, Maddox says. He travels with a good supply of Yankees baseball hats and team brochures to give out along the way between races. “The scale guys are always wanting hats,” he laughs.

So far, the dragster team isn’t doing as well as the baseball team. While the defending champion New York Yankees seem on their way to another playoff appearance, dragster driver Mike Dunn finds himself currently ranked fifth in the Top Fuel standings. But, Dunn, who had several career victories in NHRA, holds the fastest (331.6 mph) and quickest (4.495 seconds) times under the NHRA’s new 90 percent nitromethane rule this year.

Maddox says the team was working hard to gain ground in the standings. He says the elder Steinbrenner has been to a couple of races this season while Hank has attended several. Meantime, with the truck washed, there was another race to get to.

At the Sonoma race Dunn won his round 1 elimination heat on the last day of racing, only to fall to Kenny Bernstein in round 2. Bernstein, driving the Budweiser King dragster, went on to win the competition.

Wednesday, July 17th 2002 - 10:09:50 AM
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P.S. I had a beer once. I was so wasted!
Tuesday, July 16th 2002 - 01:41:44 PM
Name: diesel
Homepage URL: http://www.etrucker.com
Comments: Putting on a show
By Donna Pierce


Bob Farr parks his broadcast production truck in front of Bryant-Denny Stadium on the University of Alabama campus allowing that CBS Sports can televise a college football game.

Bob Farr might be the envy of every trucker who dreams of landing a job that combines trucking and sports.

Farr, of Tustin, Calif., has been driving broadcast production trucks since 1984. He currently hauls a production trailer for Southwest Television Production Services of Tempe, Ariz., which is rented to CBS Sports for broadcasting sporting events. He drove for Trinity Broadcast Network for 17 years before it sold its production trucks; he also ran a camera for Trinity’s first mobile uplink.

“It’s the kind of thing every kid involved in television dreams of while in college,” Farr says. “I get to do it and get paid for it.”

Before working in television, Farr, 62, hauled cattle and general freight. He began driving trucks on his family farm in the ninth grade. He was student teaching in college when he decided that teaching wasn’t the profession for him, and quit school to drive a truck.

“The students weren’t interested in learning,” Farr says. “Trucking was beginning to grow so I quit school and went on the road. I drove for a baking company for years and was ready to retire. I saw a guy on television say that his company was going to buy a new production trailer, and I just knew I was supposed to pull that trailer. I’ve been hauling for broadcasting companies since then.”

When Farr arrives at the next broadcast location, he helps set up if he isn’t over his legal hours. If he doesn’t need to rest for the next day’s drive, he watches the event. He does whatever he can to help out.

“I pull the truck in, find the location and park,” Farr says. “I power it up. My responsibility ends there, but if I have some hours left to work I’ll help with the cable. At the end of the show I pick up the cable and leave for the next town if necessary.”


Bob Farr’s production trailer expands 40 inches, making the total width 102 inches. The trailer is 53 feet long and 14 inches off the ground, and has a 10-foot spread axle, corner air bags, landing gear on each corner, and levels along the sides. It always weighs close to 80,000 pounds.

Farr’s truck is a white 1996 Freightliner cabover with a sleeper. The side of the trailer expands 40 inches, making the total width 102 inches. The trailer is 53 feet long and 14 inches off the ground, and has a 10-foot spread axle, corner air bags, landing gear on each corner, and levels along the sides. It always weighs close to 80,000 pounds.

“It’s the heaviest unit ever pulled constantly at that weight,” Farr says. “I weigh all the time and it varies but it’s always close to 80,000 pounds.”

The trailer has to be straight and level when parked so it will go back together without problems. Last year Farr delivered the trailer to many college football games, including two University of Alabama and three University of Florida games.

If CBS wants a high-definition television broadcast then Paul Randall of Mesa, Ariz., follows Farr with a 48-foot trailer that has high-definition capabilities. Randall has driven for STPS for eight months, and says it’s different from hauling regular freight.

“There is always something to learn,” Randall says. “I’ve learned a lot from Bob. I follow his lead.”

Sometimes Farr’s schedule between events is tight, leaving him only time to sleep and drive. In October 2001, he was at a boxing event in Cincinnati for HBO, left the next day for a basketball game in Denver, then traveled on to Salt Lake City.

Parking his trailer at Louisiana State University’s football stadium in Baton Rouge is the tightest fit Farr has to negotiate. Clearance is 10 inches on the inside and 14 inches on the outside after the trailer is parked between the stadium columns. Farr has to place the trailer in a hole, and he gets out to look and make adjustments many times before the trailer is in place.

“I have to sneak behind the columns and pull under the stadium,” he says. “I scratched the trailer on one side, and it was the first time in 18 years that I’ve scratched a trailer.”

If Farr is in a hurry to make his next location, and is over his hours for driving, the company will fly in another driver to help out. Farr sleeps in the trailer for security reasons, and if he isn’t in a hurry, he takes back roads to see the countryside.


Mike Cunningham places caution tape around his satellite truck to keep spectators away during a sporting event.

Memorable Rides
Another driver who got “television fever” is Mike Cunningham, who began driving a satellite truck in the mid ’80s when the large C-band satellite trucks became popular. He began pulling one in 1986.

In 1992, Cunningham began driving for Videocom Satellite Associates of Dedham, Mass. He’s been to many events, including NASCAR Winston Cup races and national presidential conventions. He has been to the Kentucky Derby, Indianapolis 500 and ESPN-broadcast sporting events.

One January he drove to the remote Canadian Atlantic province of Newfoundland. He took his truck and trailer on a ferry ride overnight from Nova Scotia to reach Newfoundland, and on the trip to the ferry he faced howling blizzards along Nova Scotia’s east coast. When he reached Newfoundland there was 10 feet of snow. He set up his trailer to cover an interactive videoconference that was preparing for the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary, Alberta.

“I told the company I’d go to the ends of the earth for them,” Cunningham says. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

Several events also stand out in Farr’s mind. When he was with TBN, he drove a production trailer into New York’s Bronx area to cover a tent revival that was being held on a vacant lot.

“Going in I saw people dead on the sidewalk and through that experience realized how critical it is to help society,” he says.

On a more cheerful note, last year Farr was in St. Louis for a National Football League game in which the Kansas City Chiefs scored more points than had ever been scored against the St. Louis Rams.

“Kansas City rose up and stomped them,” he says. “It was a fun game to see.”

Many people would envy Farr: While with TBC, Farr used a tape of country music star Dolly Parton to set his audio level. He was helping produce a Christian show in Nashville, Tenn., on which Parton was a guest.

“I met her backstage,” he says. “She was nice and cordial.”

Randall’s favorite event was the National Hockey League playoffs held in New Jersey when the Pittsburgh Penguins were playing the New Jersey Devils.

“I met Mario Lemieux, owner of the Pittsburgh team,” he says. “He still plays and is a fantastic guy to talk to.”

Where the Action Is
Inside the STPS trailer, you’ll find a production area with a switchboard and cameras where the director, producer and technical director work. The audio area has a studio board with the capability to record a 24-track album.

“I built and designed the inside,” says Jim May, STPS’s engineer in charge. “Bob gets the truck here and knows about engineering to help out when he can. Not everyone can do what he does. It makes him more than a driver. You have to be to haul this trailer.”

The trailer produces a live feed and has two 10-ton compressors to keep the equipment from overheating. Each camera has a monitor, and there are 25 to 30 cameras feeding broadcasts to the trailer for production.
Tuesday, July 16th 2002 - 01:38:36 PM
Name: diesel
Homepage URL: http://www.etrucker.com
Comments:Behind the placard
By Andy Duncan


Explosives, toxic chemicals and radioactive waste are all in a day’s work for many owner-operators. Find out whether hazmat hauling is right for you — and why you need the endorsement and training, no matter what you haul.

When Russ Cramer hands new owner-operators the hazmat book, they sometimes act as if the book itself were toxic. “The look on their faces often says, ‘Oh, no,’” says Cramer, who supervised contractors at Umthun Trucking of Eagle Grove, Iowa. “You can just tell they’d rather not deal with it.” That wasn’t the case with Umthun owner-operator Henry Shriver. “I’ve talked to a lot of people who won’t touch a hazmat load, but boy, I jump on them,” says Shriver, a former Overdrive Trucker of the Month. Sure, placarded materials can be dangerous, but so can everything else on the road, Shriver says. “The diesel you put into your fuel tank this morning is dangerous. The bottom line is, if you have that endorsement, you’re going to have more money in your pocket.”

Many truckers shun hazmat the way Dracula shuns garlic. But most loads placarded as hazardous material contain not bombs and nuclear waste but everyday stuff, from hairspray and roofing materials to fertilizer and Coca-Cola ingredients. That’s why so many general-freight fleets require hazmat endorsements.

Having arranged training, licensing and insurance coverage that would be tough for an independent to manage, fleets offer leased owner-operators a share of the growing hazmat-hauling industry. Some offer higher pay for hazmat loads. But veterans say the best reason to get your endorsement and learn about hazmat is safety: Even if you aren’t hauling it, the truck in the lane beside you likely is. “Knowing more about this stuff never hurts you,” Cramer says.

Umthun paid extra for hauling hazmat — roughly a third better than a comparable nonhazmat load, the difference between 90 cents a mile and $1.20. Umthun ceased operations March 1, its business now handled by Decker Truck Lines, Fort Dodge, Iowa.

Owner-operators Michael and Jean Flintom of Lancing, Tenn., are leased to a fleet that specializes in hazmat, Tri-State Motor Transit of Joplin, Mo. “Hazmat pays a little better than standard freight,” Michael Flintom says. “Certainly it’s been very profitable for us.” In a typical year, he estimates, he and his wife net around $80,000 from a gross of $180,000 to $200,000.

Whether hazmat loads pay more than nonhazmat loads often depends on how much of the carrier’s business is hazmat. It’s definitely a question to raise when you’re shopping for general-freight carriers, says Bill Johnson of Anchorage, Alaska. He and his father drove many placarded loads as an owner-operator team leased first to Waggoners Trucking of Billings, Mont., then to Lynden Transport of Anchorage.

“With Lynden, we got a flat rate that was higher than average no matter what we were hauling, but we didn’t get any extra for hazmat loads,” says Johnson, who now works for APC Natchiq, an Anchorage oil-service company. “Fleet to fleet, sometimes it’s a higher rate for hazmat, sometimes not, but it’s nothing I’d want to bet my paycheck on.”

Being hazmat-ready makes you money in the long run because you’re able to take on a wider variety of loads, says Danny Lowis of Waverly Hall, Ga. An owner-operator leased to Liquid Transport of Indianapolis, he hauls tankers of agricultural chemicals.

“We wind up hauling more and more placarded loads,” Lowis says. “Most of the stuff we haul isn’t dangerous, but some of it is very dangerous. If you get a set system of things to check, you can stay pretty safe. You need to be patient and not get in any hurry. It’s a lot to watch, but it’s a pretty good job.”

Hauling hazmat is more time-consuming and complicated than hauling regular loads. The job begins by verifying completion of the shipper’s paperwork, which can easily run 40 pages or more, Flintom says.

The hazmat hauler has to conduct more rigorous pretrip inspections, making sure, for example, that all the items are secured and not leaking. Once under way, federal law requires him to check tires every two hours. Around cities, moreover, hazmat haulers are limited to certain routes and certain times of day. “You have to plan ahead,” Lowis says.

And since Sept. 11, they spend more time talking to law-enforcement officers than other truckers do. “We get stopped a lot more,” Lowis says. “You can count on it at just about every scale, and even riding down the road, they’ll pull you, just to see what you’re up to. If you’re going to try running ahead of your log book, you’re definitely going to get caught.”



“I’ve talked to a lot of people who won’t touch a hazmat load, but boy, I jump on them.”
— Henry Shriver

Hazmat haulers are subject to fines that other truckers needn’t worry about, Lowis says. “If you have a flat tire with a placarded load, you have to sit right there. Move the truck at all, and you’ll get a fine. If your placard falls off as you go down the road, that’s a fine, too, $75 to $125 — even if you had no way of knowing it fell off, which seems a little hard to me.”

The Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration recently announced a crackdown on truckers who display placards that say “Have a nice day” or “Drive safely.” You can get cited even for displaying a hazmat placard on an empty trailer.

Cramer doesn’t begrudge the growing complexity of the regulations and the growing number of materials classified as hazmat, saying, “We’re all safer for it.” But the frequent changes make continuous training all the more important, and any contractor who isn’t getting it needs to speak up and tell his carrier, Cramer says.

“I’ve had drivers, after working for two or three large carriers, tell me, ‘This is the first time I’ve ever known how to use this hazmat book.’”

Cramer refers to the Hazardous Materials Compliance Pocketbook, a 560-page paperback, in which you can look up any hazardous material to find its classification and placard, as well as any special handling required. Widely distributed in hazmat-training classes, it’s $3.70 a copy from J.J. Keller & Associates of Neenah, Wis., www.jjkeller.com. Keller also sells, for $3.75 a copy, a pocket edition of the federal Emergency Response Guidebook, which gives step-by-step instructions for first responders in case of hazmat accidents or spills.

Federal law requires hazmat haulers to know how to recognize, identify and handle hazmat packages and how to report a problem, which they must do at the first sign of trouble. Violators are subject to civil penalties of up to $27,000 and, in some cases, criminal penalties of up to $500,000 and five years in prison. Truckers must receive training at least once every three years.

Federal law also allows independent owner-operators to do their own hazmat training, so long as all other training requirements are met. But leased hazmat haulers say they wouldn’t consider hauling hazmat as an independent. Sky-high insurance premiums would be the biggest problem, followed by the trouble and expense of getting legal in every state of operation. “I don’t see how an individual could do all that and afford it,” Lowis says.

Johnson has hauled everything from Exxon Valdez oil-spill sludge to a van full of 500-pound bombs and — on a run from Texas to Newfoundland — a 50-pound box of nitroglycerin, and he admits to having a few uneasy moments.

“Sure, you start thinking about that load when your tires get to spinning, or you start sliding backward, or a moose jumps out in front of you,” Johnson says. “But everything you haul is hazmat, depending on the circumstances. When that load shifts, you’ve got a hazardous load. I treat everything the same, with as much care as possible. Even in summertime up here in Alaska, I drive like I was on ice.”

Whatever they’re hauling, all owner-operators can and should get a hazmat endorsement on their CDL, Shriver says. Many truckers agree. An estimated 2.5 million of the 9.5 million CDL holders have the endorsement.

“That load you have to pass up because you don’t have the endorsement might make a big difference in your income for that week,” Lowis says.

“What you’re hauling today may not be on the hazardous list, but it might be soon,” Cramer says. “You need to be prepared. Put out the effort, get the knowledge, put the hazmat on your license. It could save your life someday.”

Tuesday, July 16th 2002 - 01:35:05 PM
Name: diesel
Comments: Extreme trucking
By Tim Barton


Two trucks headed north negotiate Charlie’s Hill, a tough portage about halfway to Lockhart Camp.


In Canada’s barren Northwest Territories there are few people and fewer signs of human presence. In the far north, past the point where trees no longer grow and the open sea deepens the startling solitude of the rocks and lakes, one can find Inukshuk, stone icons made in the image of man, markers of caribou migrations and hunters’ trails. South from Resolute and Cambridge Bays on the Arctic Ocean lie gold and silver mines that extract the precious minerals from the frozen rocks.

From these mines, the winter road, the fabled ice road, cuts an almost invisible swath through the black and white of the subarctic winter. Even the road, carrying nearly 8,000 loads this year, makes few permanent marks on the vast Precambrian rock shield and scrawny black spruce forest.

On Dome Lake, not far north of the road’s beginning, a solitary wooden cross bears witness to the immense human effort and sacrifice the winter road sometimes extracts from those who work here. It bears a striking resemblance to the stone Inukshuk, but its presence is more ominous. On that spot, a road construction worker died when his 3-ton Snow Cat went through the ice. It is sobering to pass this spot in a 40-ton vehicle. But the men and women who drive the road daily do not live in fear. Indeed, most of them take their work for granted and do not dwell on the danger that seems exotic yet obvious to the inexperienced. A few trips are sufficient to replace fear with respect, and this, ultimately, creates a safer, less stressful workplace.

Janet Robinson, loss prevention coordinator for Robinson Truck Lines, voices her strong objection to recent portrayals of the road as a “suicide mission.” The death of the Snow Cat operator is the first fatality on the road in more than 12 years.

North from Yellowknife, where the road begins, all shapes and sizes of loads crawl to the mines over frozen lakes varying in size from pond to long frozen fingers that take hours to cross. From Yellowknife to Lockhart Camp is a distance of 150 miles, probably 130 of it on ice. The rest is portage, heavily rutted roads slicing across the rock and muskeg islands where the road is frozen by water sprayed from pumps and water truck. It is here, rather than on the ice, where problems develop. Trucks do go through the ice, but most often they do not sink entirely. Tankers, even if they break entirely through the 3 or 4-foot-thick road, will float if the ice gives way enough. Often, a rear tire will fall through or the drives will sink, pushing the cab and the rear of the trailer up, according to Marvin Robinson, president of Robinson Trucking. A driver generally has two or three seconds to exit before water engulfs him.

While danger exists on the lakes, problems like spinouts on a portage can close the road very quickly, mangling delivery schedules for scores of trucks and shortening the productive time of an already short winter hauling season. The road is heavily patrolled by security in white pickups, and there is no lack of equipment to extract trucks from the ice. Robinson, the largest outfit on the road, also has the equipment and expertise to extract an axle wedged in a crack or a truck sitting entirely on the bottom. Spinouts on the portages may mean using a loader with chains to pull out a stuck tanker, or it may mean that drivers headed both north and south will stop to help. Not helping a fellow human in the Barren Land is an act of neglect that is seen as criminal.



All trucks on the ice road, like this black KW, are required to carry identifying numbers.


It is 350 miles from Tibbit Lake, 43 miles outside Yellowknife, to the road’s farthest point at the Lupin mine. Once past Lockhart Camp there are turnoffs to the BHP Mine, Echo Bay Mine and other, newer diamond mines. Truckers leave their terminals in Yellowknife and pass through a second dispatch run by Nuna Logistics. Every half-hour trucks are dispatched in convoys of two to four trucks. No trucks are permitted on the road alone from this dispatch; convoys move over the last paved road. Called the Ingraham Trail, it is the most reviled portion of the entire trip. It is paved, but it is a narrow, winding road and in much worse condition than the ice.

Ben Rausch, a driver spending his second week on the road, voices the commonly held opinion that the Ingraham Trail is the most aggravating portion of the entire road. Despite being able to run at 70 kilometers an hour, about 43 mph, many drivers are anxious to get on the ice, where the speeds are much slower. Depending on the condition of the ice, speeds for loaded trucks can be as low as 10 mph. Even when the ice is at its best, the strictly enforced speed limit seldom exceeds 15 mph on the way north.

The portage onto Tibbit Lake is a half-truck length downhill. It is neither steep nor difficult to maneuver. But each truck stops before hitting the ice. Entry speeds are perhaps the most crucial element in a successful crossing. Hitting the ice hard can create a wave under the road. Such a wave will travel the entire crossing searching for a place to exit. Its tremendous hydraulic pressure will force it in front of a truck until it reaches the solid rock of the next portage. With nowhere to go, it is forced upward between the ice and the rock, exploding the ice. Such blowouts require rerouting from the 100-foot wide lake road onto the considerably narrower portages, a costly and time-consuming procedure. Trucks all the way back to Nuna dispatch in Yellowknife must be held in place.

This year, all trucks are required to come equipped with VHF radios tuned to what is called LAD One. Because VHF has much stronger signal strength than a CB, security uses it to stay in contact with traffic. Drivers also use the channel to tell each other when they are entering portages, so that north and southbound trucks do not meet on the narrow rutted ice between lakes.

Sitting at the top of Charlie’s Hill, a particularly steep portage, it becomes obvious why drivers need to keep this channel clear of chatter. A missed message entering a portage might easily cause big problems. Tankers are especially susceptible to spinouts in portages, according to Jack Weber, safety director for Robinson. The Canadian super B tankers are double tanker units. Their shifting liquid can easily cause a loss of traction on uphill rutted ice. Watching trucks hit the bottom of Charlie’s Hill, one understands how easily a driver can find himself hung up. There is a desire among drivers at dispatch to be released before a tanker in the same convoy. Ben Rausch prefers not to be behind a tanker, but he does not necessarily want to be lead truck since it would then be his responsibility to call out portages. “I would rather leave that to guys who have been here awhile,” he says.



After checking for southbound trucks on LAD One, two laden trucks start across one of many small lakes.

There does indeed seem to be better positions than others in a convoy. Marvin Robinson remarked that the third truck is very often the one to have trouble on the ice. The first truck may find a problem with the ice but manage to get by it without noticing. By the time the third truck hits a bad spot, the road is often ready to open up.

There are cracks in the road, and all of them run parallel to it rather than across, all the way from Tibbit to Lockhart Camp. Weber explains they are normal stress fractures caused by the shape of the road and other factors. There are two types of cracks, according to Marvin Robinson: dry and wet. Dry cracks are not worrisome since there is no water coming through them from the lake. Wet, or “live,” cracks can be problematic since they indicate the entire road surface has been breached. Water trucks often fill cracks with water to freeze them. The road itself is an elliptical sheet of ice much thicker than the surrounding lake ice. Once snow is removed to create a roadbed, the ice begins to thicken, continuing to harden and thicken as traffic causes it to flex and mature. As the ice thickens, a crown forms on the road, bending the ice away from the middle toward the edges. This bending causes cracks. Snow plowed from the road lies on the berm, exaggerating the effect of the crowning by keeping the ice warm and pushing it downward with its weight. Marvin Robinson says his plows are made to throw the snow rather than pile it up. There is nevertheless an ever-present snow ridge on either side of the winter road. The weight of the snow often causes invisible cracks beneath these ridges where the thick ice of the road meets the thinner ice of the lake. One theory about what befell the Snow Cat driver is that one of these cracks opened up and swallowed him.

Sometimes, pressure ridges form. These ridges are made when the ice buckles upward. Changing weather and temperatures will cause the ice to expand and contract, giving rise to such ridges and making it necessary to groom the road constantly. Pressure ridges make it necessary to move the road. However, neither unexpected new construction nor constant grooming is as disruptive as an extraction. When a truck goes through the ice, it must be removed immediately. The folks at Robinson are experts at getting trucks out, whether that means freeing an axle or raising a truck from the bottom.

Far outweighing any of these is the necessity to provide attention for a driver who has gotten wet. A few seconds in the water is sufficient to cause hypothermia and suck the warmth from blood in the extremities. When a driver claws his way back onto the ice he must automatically get to his feet and move. This movement forces the blood to circulate. When the freezing blood from the extremities hits the body the internal organs shut down. This condition, called “after drop,” is often fatal. The Snow Cat driver was found within minutes, warmed in a sleeping bag and med-evacked to a hospital, but he could not be saved.

While a death in a community as close-knit as the winter road affects everyone, especially those who use the road every day, the ever-present whiteness and slow speeds have much more of an influence on a driver’s attitude. Driving 15 mph demands an effort to stay alert.

Mirages are common. Weber once saw a road complete with road signs where he knew none existed. True whiteouts can be extremely dangerous. Jim Pickering, a Northwest Territories highway transport officer on the road, was once sent out to find three B-trains that had stopped on the ice in a snowstorm. He found them and told them to follow the plow driver he’d brought along. The plow got lost and left the road, leading Pickering and the three tankers on a meandering path all over the lake. They crossed the road without seeing it, spending nearly eight hours in a ravine before the storm let up.

Thus, despite the inherent danger of driving the winter road, drivers fight boredom and nonchalance much more than fear. It is common for drivers to drive in stocking feet, a practice Marvin Robinson at Robinson Trucking does not endorse.

The need for a quick exit from a sinking or stuck vehicle makes wearing a good pair of boots very important. In the camps, everyone takes his boots off on going in, a rule that is strictly enforced. Most drivers wear arctic-style boots that can be taken off easily, and they seldom lace them up to make getting into and out of the camps easier. A pair of leather boots laced to the top is seldom seen. Ben Rausch, a firsttime winter road driver, spent $600 on gear and left his leather boots at home. Given that Robinson arranges a driver’s transportation to and from Yellowknife and that the driver has no expenses while working the winter season, $600 is a good investment. Drivers can make $8,000 to $10,000 a month on the road and spend nothing on lodging and food.

But the road is changing. This year the Lupin Road, as it is sometimes called, opened Feb. 6. Clinton Westgard, an owner-operator for Land Tran, has started as early as Jan. 15. Certainly the warm weather the second week the road was open may indicate a reason for the road’s late start. Temperatures hovered around zero degrees F all week, 20 to 30 degrees warmer than usual. Marvin Robinson says the optimum temperature for the road is about minus 13 degrees F. He says warm weather can make the road slippery.

The small irony of an ice road becoming slippery on a warm day is one indication of the contradictions found here. The reality of the road is what keeps drivers and other workers coming back year after year. Perhaps the hype, or the suicide-mission mentality of outsiders bent on sensationalism attracts newcomers, but those who return do so because they have grown to understand the very real dangers and the significant rewards of true adventure.

The work of this adventure does not change despite the changing road. Robinson still has 8,000 loads to move before the spring thaw. Constantly warmer temperatures might well shorten the season. At some point, the portages will turn to mud and become impassable. The few spots where flowing water keeps the ice thin will begin to widen, and the 4 feet of ice that bears the weight of hundreds of trucks a day will disappear. Soon the winter road itself will be a memory, and the gold and diamond mines of the far north will wait another year for the trucks to roll.
Wednesday, July 10th 2002 - 12:04:06 PM
Name: diesel
Comments:Donald Burianek didn’t start over-the-road trucking until he was 38 years old, but his truck-handling roots stretch back three decades earlier. That’s when, at age 6, he first climbed behind the wheel of a work truck on his father’s 80-acre farm in rural Nebraska.

“I’ve been driving since my feet could reach the pedals,” Burianek says. “We had an old 1928 Chevy truck with wooden spokes. I started driving trucks around the farm, and delivered grain to town when I was a little older.”

Burianek, 60, of Wilber, Neb., honed his driving skills through various jobs before settling into a successful career as a company driver. For more than 21 years his safety record and work ethic have earned him numerous awards and the respect of his peers. The Truckload Carriers Association and Truckers News named Burianek the 2001 Company Equipment Driver of the Year in March at TCA’s annual convention in Las Vegas. He has driven for Crete Carrier Corp., of Lincoln, Neb., for more than 19 years.

Burianek’s résumé includes 2.3 million safe driving miles, two previous top 10 finalist finishes in the TCA company driver contest and several recognitions by his company and industry organizations. “Don Burianek represents all that is good in the trucking industry,” says Crete President and CEO Tonn Ostergard. “His commitment to safety, customer service and professionalism are second to none.”

Road to Trucking
Burianek admits he didn’t choose trucking as a profession. Instead, he evolved into it. After high school he decided he couldn’t make a living from the family farm. He moved from Crete, Neb., to nearby Lincoln to work at a Chevrolet dealership, sometimes traveling out of state to pick up stolen or repossessed cars. Later, still in Nebraska, he ran a wholesale bread route.

Burianek then followed a friend into the mobile home business where he set up, tore down and delivered trailers for a time. “We even rolled trailers over basements, where a basement foundation was dug and we pulled trailers onto rails,” he says. “We then jacked up the trailer and pulled the rails out. That was not an enjoyable job.”

Another friend urged him to give over-the-road trucking a try. He landed a job at Hill Trucking Lines, driving for an owner-operator leased to HTL for a couple of years until the company sold to Crete.

After hooking up with Crete, Burianek says he has never looked back.

“Crete’s always been good to me,” he says. “I get my miles every week. If I happen not to get my miles for the week every now and then, by year’s end I always get the miles that I had set as my goal at the first of the year.”

Last year, Burianek logged 140,000 miles and grossed $54,000.

“Don has always been an ‘easy keeper,’” says Kerry Kearl, Crete’s vice president of company fleets. “He knows his value to our company. His work ethic serves our customers and the public well. He understands and lives the life of a true professional. His example is one that all of our drivers should try to emulate. He does the right thing naturally, and does not have to be reminded of his responsibilities.”

Burianek has a dedicated route hauling pressed fluorescent lighting ballast materials for Advance Transformers from its facility in Monroe, Wis., to El Paso, Texas. From there the materials are taken across the Mexican border, assembled and shipped back to warehouses in the United States. Burianek then delivers the ballasts to one or more locations including Cordele, Ga., East Rutherford, N.J., and Hanover Park, Ill.

Occasionally, when Burianek gets out of his normal route, such as a recent swing through Tuscaloosa, Ala., for an interview with Truckers News, he hauls for National Freight. In this case, a load of wood chips bound for Hope, Ark. His deadhead miles are less than 4 percent annually.

“I love my route because Crete gets me home,” Burianek says. “I’m usually out for a couple of weeks and then I’m home for a couple of days.”



Burianek, shown here with some of his children and grandchildren, attends the Nebraska Czech Festival held each year in his hometown of Wilber.

Family Ties
Getting time to spend with the family is important to Burianek. He is of Czech descent and lives in a town that stresses the importance of family togetherness through its annual Czech festival. (Wilber has been known since 1987 as the Czech Capital of the U.S.A.).

“Family is one thing that is very important to me,” Burianek says. “All through the year I try to see my kids and grandchildren every chance I get. At Christmas I take a week’s vacation to spend with my family.”

Burianek and his wife Diana, 57, have been married for 25 years. They have five children and six grandchildren. Diana is an office worker for a health care facility in Wilber.

“About 14 years ago, my wife decided she wanted to drive with me on the road,” he says. “She went through Crete’s school and got her CDL. She stayed out with me for about eight months and decided that it wasn’t for her. She wasn’t really ready give up the house and she enjoys having a garden. She still goes with me sometimes as a vacation.”

Burianek occasionally takes his grandson with him during the summer for a week or so. He says he also tries to spend more time with his five siblings.

“About a year ago, my wife and I took a few days off and toured Nebraska with my brother and sister-in-law,” he says. “We never got on the interstate, and just stopped when we wanted to see something. We were gone about five days. We took our time, no hurry, no telephone.”

Trucking Philosophy
Burianek has a simple philosophy as to what makes a good truck driver. “I’ve always been a firm believer in enjoying what you’re doing,” he says. “I don’t care if you are a waitress in a truckstop or working at a warehouse. If you don’t enjoy what you’re doing, get out of it and find something you do enjoy. Life is too short to have a hassle with things day in and day out.

Burianek says he sees too many people who get into trucking for the wrong reasons. “They just do it for the money,” he says. “In some towns there is not a lot of work and people get into trucking for the big money. They’re not in for the long haul. They’re not in it as a profession. They’ll tell you right up front, ‘I’m not going to do this all my life. I’m going to do it five years and I’m getting out of it.’ You have to enjoy it.”

Burianek says he also regularly hears that a driver can’t run legally, safely and still make a living. He says the fault lies with the employer. “I can because I work for a company that pays well,” Burianek says. “If you’re working for a company that doesn’t pay well and you try to live beyond your means, you have to run harder to make the money. There are some companies that pay between 18 and 20 cents a mile. That’s what I was making when I started.

“Crete is also very strict on logs. Part of that is to be safe and keep the DOT from hassling us. It gets us drivers in line. Some drivers don’t like it because they feel the federal government is sticking its nose into it or the company is telling them how to drive. But, there again, our accident rate would be phenomenal without a strict policy.”

Burianek says he believes there are some bad drivers out on the roads, but the trucking industry is making progress toward greater safety. “For the large amount of trucks out there compared to what there used to be, I think trucking is better,” he says. “I have no problem with the Department of Transportation and the regulations. Some of these rules had to be implemented because of the amount of traffic and the caliber of drivers we have out here. A lot of drivers have to be guided. It would be a mess out here without some of the rules we have. I can’t imagine what it would be like.”

Whenever he witnesses unsafe driving, Burianek says he tries to keep a level head. “If someone passes me and cuts me off, I might sometimes pick up the CB and ask them why they did that — just to let them know they might have made an error,” he says. “Whether they did it intentionally or accidentally, I want to make them think about what could have possibly happened. But usually I just back off and don’t hassle with it.”

Out on the road, Burianek says he’s constantly reminded of one of the industry’s biggest problems — driver fatigue. “You don’t have a problem if you get your proper rest,” he says. “You can get through your 10 hours. If I happen to get tired, I don’t take chances. No matter how hot the freight is, it’s not worth getting in an accident. If I get tired, I’ll pull over, take a nap, walk around until I’m refreshed and ready to go again.”

Burianek says communication is the key in everything. He often passes this advice along to new drivers. “I tell new drivers ‘don’t be afraid to ask questions,’” he says. “It doesn’t mean you’re stupid if you don’t know something. I tell them ‘you weren’t born with that knowledge.’ Everyone experiences things that you can learn from. You’re never too old to learn. When you think you know it all, you’re just kidding yourself.”



“I tell new drivers, ‘don’t be afraid to ask questions.’ It doesn’t mean you’re stupid if you don’t know something. When you think you know it all, you’re just kidding yourself.”
--Donald Burianek


Top Driver
Winning the Company Equipment Driver of the Year came as quite a shock to Burianek, even though twice in the past four years he placed in the top 10.

“It took a little bit for it to sink in that I won first place,” Burianek says.

Crete Chairman Duane Acklie officially broke the news to Burianek at the Lincoln terminal. “Duane looked at me and asked, ‘Are you a good driver?’” Burianek remembers. “I said, ‘Yes, I feel like I’m a good driver.’ He asked, ‘Do you really think you are a good driver?’ I said, ‘I believe my record shows I’m a good driver.’ He said, ‘Well, we think you are a good driver and so does TCA.’ Duane was so excited, he gave me a hug.”

Acklie says Burianek’s recognition as the top driver means a lot for Crete and its driver pool. “We have a very outstanding driver group at Crete which we are so very proud of,” Acklie says. “Not only do they lead the truckload carrier group in safety, they lead in service to their communities and are an outstanding bunch of Americans.”

Burianek says being named the top company driver won’t change him or his plans for the future. “I could probably do other things, but I’m not interested in anything else,” he says. “I get my time off and make good money and I have the things I have because of my profession. Had trucking not been my profession, I wouldn’t have them.

“As long as my health holds out and the good Lord’s willing, I’ll keep working.”


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Wednesday, July 10th 2002 - 11:56:45 AM
Name: Diesel
Comments:On May 2, Keith Jones arrives for his load early — well before 7 a.m. He spends some time going over last minute details and rummaging for items he might need for this haul. He double-checks the trailer and the garage a dozen times to make sure he has everything.

For Jones and his fellow driver, Dave Meggers, who also arrives early to take their Kenworth T-2000 for a bath, this run is the shortest of the year. It’s also the biggest.

By 9 a.m., Meggers and Jones are ready to leave. On this rainy day, they put their black and yellow rig in gear and haul their load a scant 20 miles up the road to one of the most sacred places in all of auto racing — the Brickyard. This hallowed place will be their unofficial office and home until Memorial Day and the 86th running of the Indianapolis 500.

Meggers and Jones aren’t just truck drivers. They’re team members for Pennzoil Panther Racing, the top Indy Racing League team, and have crew and mechanic jobs to take care of as well. Their goal is to help the team’s ace, Sam Hornish, win races.

“It’s a dream job — within reason,” says Jones, who hauled a different kind of car for a decade when he was an over-the-road truck driver. This job, which started for Jones when he joined the Panther Racing Team five years ago, is much more than driving a truck from one race to another.

Like NASCAR, teams in the Indy Racing League rely on seasoned truck drivers to haul their cars, tools and equipment to races throughout the United States. The coveted jobs offer the truckers a chance to rub elbows with racing legends, drive late model equipment, travel with a professional sports team and see big-time racing up close. When they deliver the cars to the track and their driving work ends, their other duties begin.

Most drivers who haul Indy transporters are an integral part of their racing team. “This is a complete team effort,” Meggers says. “You can’t be just a truck driver. You’ve got to have a specialty.” For Meggers, that specialty is tires, a key ingredient in the team’s success.
Meggers worked for Goodyear before joining the team, so he knows a lot about tires. His job also requires expertise in other areas.

Meggers says, “We do everything. We change motors. We even keep the car clean.” “We change diapers,” Jones jokes. “We’re even homemakers and we get the wrenches.”

While Meggers makes sure the tires are taken care of, Jones actually goes over the wall to service the car when it comes into the pits. He works in the most dangerous spot on pit row: the right rear tire. In that position, his legs and posterior are in line with the front left tire of the driver exiting the pit behind him. At a race in Miami this season, Eliseo Salazar, one the drivers in A.J. Foyt’s stable, clipped Jones’ pants leg.

Wayne Selman can sympathize. A truck driver for 26-years, with 10 of those hauling racecars for IRL and CART teams, Selman says he does whatever it takes to help Team Purex Dreyer & Reinbold Racing win. “I’m a fueler for the pit crew, but I also drive transport. I even get lunch.” And he cleans up after the rest of the team.

“These mechanics are like slobs. I feel like a mom all the time picking up after them,” he says.

Driving a transporter for an Indy racing team combines lifelong passions for racing and truck driving for Selman, who joined the team at the beginning of the season. Before hauling racecars, he was an over-the-road truck driver. He pulled tankers, dry vans and reefers, but the tug of racing was strong. “I’ve always been into racing,” he says. “I used to race motorcycles. Once age sets in, you start looking around for some other way to be involved.”

Selman found a job hauling racecars in California, then began hauling for Rick Galles’ IRL team in Albuquerque, N.M. and left long-haul trucking for good. Over the years, he’s pulled cars for racers such as Al Unser, Jr., Eddie Cheever and Jeff Ward. This year he hauled cars to Indianapolis in a 1998 Volvo 770 for Robbie Buhl and Sarah Fisher.

“I love doing it,” Selman says. “It’s a great job. You put in a lot of hours, especially if you have a good team.”

But it’s worth it. Experienced drivers and crew members can make more than $60,000 a year, although starting truckers make as little as $35,000. Team members share in the winnings, so a victory can bring a hefty bonus. Meggers and Jones helped their teams to the IRL Championship last season and are well on the way in 2002. After just four races this season, Hornish, whose parents own a trucking company in Ohio, had won two races and finished third in another.

The team prides itself on its fast turnarounds in the pit. In their garage in Indianapolis, one rafter holds up race victory banners — another holds up pit crew competition victories. Every time the pit crew performs well, they give their driver that much more time to get down the track. Mike “Grif” Griffin, a part-owner of the Panther Racing team, says every second in a pit is the equivalent of 350 feet on the track.

Griffin says his truck drivers are every bit as important to the operation as his crew chief and his racecar driver. “These guys are great,” he says.



Once in the historic garage area of the track, the two drivers help the rest of the crew unload and set up a top of the line mechanic's shop.

Meggers, Jones and Selman are good at their jobs and their teams are successful. After just the first week of qualifying for this year’s 500, their racers had qualified in the top 10. Buhl was on the front row, with Hornish and Fisher in row three.

Also on row three is racer Scott Sharp, whose transport hauler is Carlos Fernandes. With 10 days to go until race day, Fernandes is taking a break and eating lunch. He’s in the pit area watching sprinkles of rain come down on the 2.5-mile oval. “It’s too cold out here,” he says.

Fernandes, whose team is Kelley Racing, hopes his team can get in some more practice.

Fernandes has been hauling racecars for 16 years and has been driving for Kelley Racing, whose garage includes Sharp and Al Unser Jr., since 1999. On Sharp’s team, Fernandes also is a tire specialist.

“I monitor the tire pressures as the car is running out there,” Fernandes says. “The tires have sensors mounted on them and information is sent back to our computers.” Fernandes communicates with the crew chief and the engineer to maker sure the tires are running within optimum parameters. He also hands off tires to a pit crewmember during pit stops.

“We’re a well-oiled machine,” he says. “We just won at Nazareth, Pa., (the last IRL race before the Indy 500). We started a little slow this year, but now we’re doing well.”

Although he enjoys driving trucks, the time on the road is only 10 percent of his job. “Driving down the road is a big responsibility. I’ve got $3.5 million worth of equipment back there,” Fernandes says. “But being on the race team is my job.”

Selman says his other job, fueling the Purex racer, can be challenging. He puts 30 gallons in during a typical pit stop. He’s the first one to the car because fueling takes about 12 seconds, four more than changing the tires. “It can go in real easy or it can go wrong. If you have a problem, you have to pull out and start over.”

The pit teams are heavily coordinated and practice again and again to make sure they service the car in the least amount of time.

Fernandes says he’d rather drive his Freightliner Century Class truck than fly to events because he gets to see more of the country. A typical race trip begins at the Kelley garage in Indianapolis. The job there is mainly repetition. Fernandes consults with the crew chief to see what parts need to be on the truck and makes sure everything from tools to cars gets in the trailer. And that’s really the trick to doing the job, because if a team leaves an important part in Indianapolis when it travels to a race, the time lost shipping the part — not to mention the expense — can mean valuable down time for the team.

“I go through the truck inspecting it and make sure we’re going to get there,” Fernandez says. “I’m responsible for everything inside the truck and outside the truck. We have a checklist we go through.”

With back-to-back races, the trips can get confusing. Each track has a different configuration and requires different parts. Occasionally, something gets left behind, Fernandes says. “Yes, I have left stuff. It’s usually because somebody took it out of the trailer and didn’t put it back in.” Thankfully, it hasn’t been anything important.

Jones and Meggers say they once left one of the most important items out of their trailer: the set-up tires. The tires are not used for racing, but are important because the crew uses them to balance and configure the car.

“Oh man, did that cost a lot to ship,” Meggers recalls. “If we leave something at home, we have to get it there. We hear hell about it.”



In Gasoline Alley, another team pushes their car into the garage as Jones sets up the Pennzoil Panther Team's shop. The shop will be the team's home away from home until Memorial Day, when the team heads to the next race in Texas.

On moving day, Jones and Meggers check the back of the truck to make sure the set-up tires are there, as well as a number of other items, such as computers, fuel tanks, spare parts and pit crew outfits and helmets. But if something is forgotten for the Indy 500, it won’t be a big deal, Meggers says. “We’re only a few miles away.”

Like the Pennzoil Panther Racing Team, Kelley Racing, whose chief sponsors are Delphi and Conteco, has two truck drivers. Fernandes says he and his team driver take six-hour stints. “One sleeps while the other drives,” he says. “Our goal is to get to our destination as soon as possible.”

Once there, they unload the truck, set up the garage and relax until its time to run the car. For a race like the Indy 500, that can mean hundreds of hours of work before race day even arrives. Other races become blurs because the team sets up and tears down several times in a week.

At the track, transport drivers are part of a larger fraternity. “It looks like a trucking convention in the pits,” Fernandes says. “We’re all friends because we travel a lot on the road.”

When they’re on the road, drivers say other truckers ask lots of questions, but one more than others: “How do I get a job like that?” Fernandes says “It’s all about being in the right place at the right time. You have to know someone or be introduced. All the experience you get is working on the team.”

Other truckers also ask for hats and autographs of the racecar driver. Some mistake the truck for a NASCAR transport. “During Sam’s first year with the team,” says Jones, “they asked me, ‘ain’t you going the wrong way?’ But Sam Hornish’s name is now recognized more often and they generally know we’re IRL.”

Jones says Hornish may one day drive the big rig. But there’s little chance Jones will get to drive the car. Jones has been in IRL’s two-seat car however, and said the experience gave him a new respect for racing. “I felt those Gs pushing on me,” he says. “I’ve never been around speed like that.”

Fernandes says he’d love to drive the car and has offered to let Scott Sharp take the truck for a spin. “I’ve tried to ask him to travel with it, but he says it’s bad enough shifting six gears instead of 13.”

The job has its other ups and downs. In one respect, it’s exactly like over-the-road trucking: drivers are away from their families. Jones misses his five-year-old son Chase a lot. “He’s about ready for a go-cart,” Jones says. “He loves the trucks and wants to work with his dad. That’s pretty cool.”

Fernandes has two kids and a fiancée who doesn’t always like the schedule. “I haven’t found the time to get married because I’m always on the road,” he says. “She gets lonely when I’m gone. We have a family at home and she’s got all the responsibility. Of course, after I’ve been at home for a while she asks, ‘when do you go back on the road?’”

It’s also hard on the feet. “It’s an extreme of standing and sitting,” Meggers says.

Jones says shortcomings are surpassed by rewards, though. “I like driving trucks, and I get to do that. I like being around racecars, and I get to do that. It’s like a big family.”

Truckers often are attracted to trucking because it promises independence. But transport haulers say the thing they love most about their job is being part of a team. Fernandes says his team is finally starting coming together. “It takes time for a team to gel,” he says. “But it’s worth it.”

Wednesday, July 10th 2002 - 11:54:09 AM
Name: Buddy Berry
Tuesday, July 9th 2002 - 04:21:06 PM
Name: Evan "MonsterCock" Ferraro
E-mail address: hunglikeahorse@vaginapunisher.com
Homepage URL: http://www.itsfuckinghuge.com
Comments:Lara, I would just like to reiterate that my dick is 20 inches long, and black. So if you need some serious meat, look no further than the e-train.

P.S. Its five inches wide too.
Tuesday, July 9th 2002 - 03:50:36 PM
Name: Colin James
E-mail address: mercenary@idontfuckaround.net
Homepage URL: http://www.glockfirearms.com/
Comments:PLEASE READ
Will you sons of bitches stop visiting our site, the reason it is calbeta.org is that we dont want to be associated with you homos. We dont care what the site looks like and what the house looks like, the picture was taken three fucking years ago. We are not your bros so stop coming by the house and stop visiting our website you fucking trolls.
Sunday, July 7th 2002 - 10:02:29 AM
Name: adam richards
E-mail address: longdong@hotmail.com
Comments:This is in response to both evans and laras message. Actually i am the guy whos the most well endowed both in length and gerth. So if you really want to get ruined I am your man.
Shoe size:18
Saturday, July 6th 2002 - 01:24:35 AM
Name: Douger, Ky. Zeta
E-mail address: pschand@seidata.com
Comments:Very nice site. I need info if available. I'm looking for words to a song I haven't heard for awhile. Sam, Sam, Sig Ep man, superintendent of the Skull Bone clan.....
Anybody knowing the rest of this song please send them on.
Friday, July 5th 2002 - 07:25:11 AM
Name: Evan Ferraro
E-mail address: donkeydong@usc.edu
Comments:This is in respose to Lara's posting. My name is Evan Ferraro, and I think that is safe to say that I am the most well-endowed guy in Cal-Beta. Thats right--its big. Real big. So if your looking for some deep dicking, look no further than the e-train.
My dick will teach you the meaning of respect.

Evan Ferraro
Thursday, June 27th 2002 - 12:31:55 PM
Name: Brandon Ellis
E-mail address: BRE2233@aol.com
Comments:Georgia Epsilon
Wednesday, June 26th 2002 - 04:24:08 PM
Name: Lara
E-mail address: longest_nights@yahoo.com
Comments:Hey Boys. My ex-boyfriend is a SigEp in Missouri, and now we're apart, and I am home in Cali. for the summer. Do any of you guys want to show me some fun? He was the "biggest" guy in the House, if you know what I mean... Do any of you know who your most meaty man is??? E-mail me names... Later...Lara.
Monday, June 17th 2002 - 11:32:51 AM
Name: Steve Noll
E-mail address: SNoll@faggot.com
Homepage URL: http://www.ilikeitinthepooper.com
Comments:I love pushing poo.
Steve Noll

P.S. Gary Kief-Call me!

Monday, June 3rd 2002 - 02:59:47 PM
Name: Tyler
Friday, May 3rd 2002 - 02:33:33 PM
Name: Tomas Birriel
E-mail address: Manziere@aol.com
Homepage URL: http://www.sigepcanes.com
Comments:from all the the Florida Gamma brothers here at the home of the national champions University of Miami Hurricanes, we want say what's up to all the brothers of Cal Beta.

hff
tomas
Friday, April 26th 2002 - 09:01:42 AM
Name: Chandra
E-mail address: chandra@coyotes-coyotes.com
Homepage URL: http://www.coyotes-coyotes.com
Comments:Congrats on your nice site!
Thursday, April 25th 2002 - 02:16:59 AM
Name: Cal Beta Alpha UCI
Homepage URL: http://www.sigepuci.com
Comments:Dropping a big shout out to our USC bros. Any guys in need of coverage while down in Orange County are welcome to come by the house. Just look any of us up, bros always welcome.

Sig Ep @ UCI
Monday, April 22nd 2002 - 03:15:15 AM
Name: Jonathan Huynh
E-mail address: Shady@drexel.edu
Homepage URL: http://www.sigep-drexel.org
Comments:Just wanted to say to all the brothers out there in California! Damn proud to be a sigep!

HFF,
Jon
Tuesday, March 26th 2002 - 10:31:18 AM
Name: Amber
E-mail address: smilez55@hotmail.com
Homepage URL: http://www-scf.usc.edu/~zetasphi
Comments:The ladies of Zeta Sigma Phi would like to cordially invite the gentlemen of Sigma Phi Epsilon to the eighth annual Spring Culture Night at USCs Bovard Auditorium this Saturday. It is a charity concert to raise money for the children who were orphaned after the September 11th attacks. Your support would be greatly appreciated! The show begins at 7:30 and its FREE! Hope you can make it!
Wednesday, March 20th 2002 - 12:00:59 AM
Name: James Harvey
Comments:georgia epsilon at ga southern
Tuesday, March 19th 2002 - 06:11:49 PM
Name: SigEp NY Rho
Homepage URL: http://www.geocities.com/SPENYRho
Comments:From all of us at NY Rho at St. John's University (NYC)...

A big shout out to all our brothers at Cal Beta!

HFF
NY Rho
Friday, March 8th 2002 - 04:07:40 PM
Name: Alan
Homepage URL: http://sigep.stanford.edu
Comments:Hey Brothers,

Great looking site! I don't think ours is up anymore. Some computer geeks hacked into our server, so the FBI made us shut it down. Oh well.

HFF from Cal Pi
Sunday, February 17th 2002 - 01:23:46 AM
Name: Ryan Scott U.S.M.C.
Homepage URL: http://spe.evansville.edu/speweb/members.html
Comments:Brothers,

just checking out some web sites, not bad. Hope your chapter is doing well.

HFF from Indiana Epsilon,

Scooter #960
Friday, February 15th 2002 - 07:29:28 AM
Name: Brett Rosa
E-mail address: mrglass64@aol.com
Homepage URL: http://www.csufresno.edu/StudentOrgs/sigep
Comments:Hey brothers! Cool web page and it looks like you guys are doing things right. We are gonna be down in town this weekend for the conference and hopefully we can come by the house and see everything. Good luck in the new semester!


Brett, Cal Phi
Wednesday, February 13th 2002 - 03:33:53 PM
Name: James Hopkins WV Gamma
E-mail address: mu_sigep00@hotmail.com
Homepage URL: http://www.marshall.edu/spe
Comments:Hello Fellow SigEps. Just thought I would comment on the site..good job fellows!
Keep It Up!

GO SIG EP!
Monday, February 11th 2002 - 12:54:05 PM
Name: Cal Psi Brotha
Homepage URL: http://www.sigeps.net
Comments:Shout out from Cal Psi-Pepperdine
Tuesday, January 22nd 2002 - 10:56:00 PM
Name: Kenn.
E-mail address: VrtlSpeed_2003@hotmail.com
Comments:I am an alumnus from Tennessee Theta and I am relocating to LA on January 10th. For the past two years I have been in NYC working in film/television; while there I got to know the brothers at Columbia University. I would like to hear more about your chapter, and become an active alumnus while LA. On the 21st of January I will be taking the Directors Guild Trainee test at USC.

I have been to LA for work before, however I am not very familiar with the areas. I am curious if you have any recommendations on areas to look for nice and reasonably priced apartments or rooms to rent; or if you know of any websites to check out. Any information would be greatly appreciated.

I look forward to getting to know the brothers there.

VDBL,
Kenn. Shinabery
Friday, January 4th 2002 - 08:54:01 AM
Name: Brian Mayeda
E-mail address: B.Mayeda@utah.edu
Homepage URL: http://www.utsigep.org
Comments:What's up fellas-
Just giving a shout out from the boys at Utah Beta. Hopefully we'll get a chance to stop by during regionals. Until then,we'll see you guys in the Vegas Bowl.

Peace, Love, and HFF-
Brian Mayeda
UT Beta #662
Tuesday, December 11th 2001 - 09:14:56 PM
Name: Khaled Bader
E-mail address: kwbadr@home.com
Homepage URL: http://www.sigepasu.org
Comments:Sup Broz,

Well you seem to have a nice chapter and you're gettin that grove on... I am a SigEp from UNC-Charlotte NC Nu Chapter.. ad a good time messin around and somehow managed to graduate.. anyways next time i am in LA partying with the crew i will stop by holla at my little broz.... catch ya lata gataz... oh by the way hope you're getting as many freshmen chicks as you can... cuz it's just a tad harder when you graduate and get older and older and older... unless you're me... :)

Sexy K
Tuesday, November 27th 2001 - 03:11:13 PM
Name: Ryan Barnes
E-mail address: RB19905@wcu.edu
Comments:hey,
I was there over the summer with Mark Fox. We are both SigEps from North Carolina Pi. I met Spitz, Brandon, and a couple of other fellows, and the 2 girls that were there over the summer. If yall get a chance, drop me an email at RB19905@wcu.edu. I am now the VP of Finance, and Mark is VP of Development. I was wondering if I could see some of yall's money figures just to see the difference in the 2 chapters revenues. Keep in touch, i had a blast there this summer and will probally come back next summer.


thanx

Ryan Barnes
Wednesday, November 21st 2001 - 04:03:17 PM
Name: Jonathan Finley
E-mail address: jrf302s@smsu.edu
Homepage URL: http://studentorganizations.smsu.edu/sigmaphiepsilon
Comments:Good work on the site!
HFF
Jonathan Finley
Missouri Eta Web Administrator
Tuesday, November 13th 2001 - 12:20:22 PM
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