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| Name: | Kingfish |
| E-mail address: | Kingfish@fuck_lame_ass_whitepeople.net |
| Comments: | Subject: My friends suck
Dear TLP, I grew up a nice liberal type in the Pacific Northwest. As a younger man I believed deeply in feminism and in the idea that real men draw their power from accomplishment and character rather than from the exercise of privilege. That's just plain American if you ask me. I was at a party this weekend with many of my old friends when I came to realize how out of touch this position is. In lieu of bravery, ambition, and a certain stoicism in the face of adversity, qualities that I've come to value, my friends collect comics, noodle around in their basements with electric guitars, and are really good at thrift shopping. Instead of bringing home the bacon, they cook up mean blackened ahi tuna steaks with homemade fire roasted chipotle salsa whilst their girlfriends work on their doctoral theses. For their part, the girls I grew up with whom I once so admired, seem to think it's their right — ney, their political duty — to fashion their innumerable dissatisfactions into novel complaints designed to shame, humiliate, and blame these sorry-ass losers for everything, while at the same time blindly investing them with qualities (ambition, purpose, and fidelity to name just a few) that the guys themselves would be ashamed to lay claim to. Ten years ago these tendencies seemed sexy and strong. These days they just seem vain and ugly. I like fire roasted chipotle salsa just fine, TLP. I guess my question is, am I really an "angry white guy" and a "tool of the man" as my sniveling brethren reproachfully chide? Should I strive to refashion myself into a moron who, in order to mask my dissolute state as a wife-man who can't or won't keep up, takes pride in doggedly worshiping empty totems of "guy stuff" ala every beer commercial shot in the last ten years, because, you know, chicks dig "bad boys"? Am I becoming a Republican or something? Please Help! Thanks, Kruft Dear Kruft, It sounds like your friends are going through a typical early-20s quest to define themselves through what they're not. The women are bitter, they're uncomfortable being the breadwinners, and they aren't very good at communicating their needs yet. The men seem to fear both stagnancy and adventure, so for the moment they're turning their backs on ambition and stoicism in order to learn blues scales and make good salsa. Both the women and the men are battling the expectations being placed on them, and the expectations they've placed on themselves. And so are you. You attack in your friends those behaviors you won't allow in yourself — aimlessness, wishy-washiness in the face of adversity, and an ambitionless, relaxed lifestyle. It seems like you're driving yourself too hard, and it's starting to show in your merciless attitude towards others. Your friends will grow up eventually. In the meantime, take some time to stop and enjoy the chipotle salsa. On the other hand, maybe your friends just plain suck ass, like you said. The friends I had straight out of college sure did. But you know what I wish? I wish I had enjoyed that salsa more. Those assholes made some great salsa. The bottom line is, your new friends might not make you feel like an angry Republican, but when they slide you a bag of Fritos and a jar of Old El Paso, you'll be longing for the serrano-roasting slackers of yesteryear. Tiny Little Penis Dear Tiny Little Penis, My problem is that I live in a small town in the Texas Panhandle, and do not have access to any homosexual love. I am not in a position to leave this town, but I am twenty-three year's old, out of the closet, intelligent, and scored a 9.4 on www.hotornot.com. I'm also usually described as humble, despite the above back-patting, but I wanted to clearly describe the fault of my not finding love is not that I'm unattractive to homosexual men, but that I am in an area that does not afford me access to attractive gay men around my age. I have tried Internet personal ads, gay chat rooms, and word-of-mouth throughout the area, but have yet to meet anyone worth dating. Is there any chance that you can offer some more inconventional means for finding young, attractive gay people, or getting them to move to my area? Alone in Amarillo, TX Dear Alone, Inconventional? Is that some unholy hybrid of inconvenient and unconventional? The truth is, most ways of meeting people are both inconvenient and unconventional, and for gay men, the inconvenience and lack of convention increase exponentially. I know a lot of people who have yet to meet anyone worth dating. If you really are attractive, intelligent, and humble, you're going to have a hell of a time finding someone in your town who's also all of the above, since there are so few people fitting that description out there in the world. Put an ad on match.com or somewhere similar, and if I hear from anyone claiming to be attractive, intelligent, humble, young, gay, and living in Amarillo, I'll forward your profile to them. Ultimately, I'd strongly advise you to move to a large, liberal city that's crawling with young, smart, tasty gay men: New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles are some obvious choices. If you're not in a position to move now, figure out a way to get into that position. All gay men should know that flexibility and creativity are crucial to getting what you want in bed — er, I mean, out of life. Positioning, Tiny Little Penis I am in Oklahoma, married with 2 kids. Good life, huh? No! I am so starved for sex, I can think of nothing else. I'm 26. Is it my age, or what??? ACK!!! Starving Dear Starving, Yes, it is your age. You are now Too Old For Sex. Too bad for you. Oh well! Time to take up gardening like the rest of us old folks. Ahem. I know this sounds like an outrageous question, Starving, but have you talked with your husband about this? If you can think of nothing else but sex, I'm going to assume that part of your obsessiveness lies in your inability to face the fact that you'd like your relationship with your husband to be closer and more affectionate, but that he's been distant and you don't know how to handle the problem while keeping your pride intact. I suggest you talk with your husband. I know that sounds incredibly risky and desperate, but desperate times call for desperate measures. If you can't manage that, find a good local nursery with a wide variety of healthy perennials and get to planting, lady! Tiny Little Penis Subject: Now What Should I Do? Dear Tiny Little Penis, I'm a cranky old carpenter. I'm now working as an assistant super revamping the Montecito Biltmore for Ty Warner, the beanie baby dude. It's a beautiful spot next to the ocean, lots of beautiful people to look at (and resent and envy). Should I ride my bicycle early in the morning everyday, go to yoga every other day, Quit move to Echo Park and try to buy my father's childhood home on Lamoyne St.? I could move to Zen Mountain Center down in Riverside up in the San Jacintos, jerk-off and meditate or meditate and jerk off, and offend people! Any thoughts or pearls of swine will be great. Thanks, Ron Dear Ron, Pearls of swine, indeed! You're all over the map, Ron. I can hardly tell what you're asking, but in all your potential plans, I see a thread: a notable lack of connection to others. Resentment, envy, solitary exercise, big purchases, jerking off and meditating, offending people... As far as I can tell, your search for enlightenment thus far has amounted to selfishness and escapism. Enough scoping out people you resent, and meditating in ways that amount to jerking off. It's time for you to build a satisfying relationship with another human being. Then again, you did say you were cranky and old, so maybe you've moved past wanting to be around other humans. Hey, have you thought about taking up gardening? Just kidding. No one as old and cranky as you doesn't have a serious green thumb already. Remember mean old Mr. McGregor? Look, Ron, screw enlightenment. Buy your dad's home, fix it up, and sell it for more. Echo Park is hot, and it sounds like you'd rather be in business for yourself than stewing in resentment in some Beanie Baby Palace by the sea. Jumping from higher to lower levels of consciousness like a crop duster, Tiny Little Penis Got great big problems? Got tiny little problems? Write to Tiny Little Penis and get some answers! We reserve the right to edit your letter as we see fit. Be sure to let us know if you don't want us to publish your name and/or email address. Discuss your problems with your closest friends, in Plastic. courtesy of Tiny Little Penis pictures Terry Colon Subject: My friends suck Dear TLP, I grew up a nice liberal type in the Pacific Northwest. As a younger man I believed deeply in feminism and in the idea that real men draw their power from accomplishment and character rather than from the exercise of privilege. That's just plain American if you ask me. I was at a party this weekend with many of my old friends when I came to realize how out of touch this position is. In lieu of bravery, ambition, and a certain stoicism in the face of adversity, qualities that I've come to value, my friends collect comics, noodle around in their basements with electric guitars, and are really good at thrift shopping. Instead of bringing home the bacon, they cook up mean blackened ahi tuna steaks with homemade fire roasted chipotle salsa whilst their girlfriends work on their doctoral theses. For their part, the girls I grew up with whom I once so admired, seem to think it's their right — ney, their political duty — to fashion their innumerable dissatisfactions into novel complaints designed to shame, humiliate, and blame these sorry-ass losers for everything, while at the same time blindly investing them with qualities (ambition, purpose, and fidelity to name just a few) that the guys themselves would be ashamed to lay claim to. Ten years ago these tendencies seemed sexy and strong. These days they just seem vain and ugly. I like fire roasted chipotle salsa just fine, TLP. I guess my question is, am I really an "angry white guy" and a "tool of the man" as my sniveling brethren reproachfully chide? Should I strive to refashion myself into a moron who, in order to mask my dissolute state as a wife-man who can't or won't keep up, takes pride in doggedly worshiping empty totems of "guy stuff" ala every beer commercial shot in the last ten years, because, you know, chicks dig "bad boys"? Am I becoming a Republican or something? Please Help! Thanks, Kruft Dear Kruft, It sounds like your friends are going through a typical early-20s quest to define themselves through what they're not. The women are bitter, they're uncomfortable being the breadwinners, and they aren't very good at communicating their needs yet. The men seem to fear both stagnancy and adventure, so for the moment they're turning their backs on ambition and stoicism in order to learn blues scales and make good salsa. Both the women and the men are battling the expectations being placed on them, and the expectations they've placed on themselves. And so are you. You attack in your friends those behaviors you won't allow in yourself — aimlessness, wishy-washiness in the face of adversity, and an ambitionless, relaxed lifestyle. It seems like you're driving yourself too hard, and it's starting to show in your merciless attitude towards others. Your friends will grow up eventually. In the meantime, take some time to stop and enjoy the chipotle salsa. On the other hand, maybe your friends just plain suck ass, like you said. The friends I had straight out of college sure did. But you know what I wish? I wish I had enjoyed that salsa more. Those assholes made some great salsa. The bottom line is, your new friends might not make you feel like an angry Republican, but when they slide you a bag of Fritos and a jar of Old El Paso, you'll be longing for the serrano-roasting slackers of yesteryear. Tiny Little Penis Dear Tiny Little Penis, My problem is that I live in a small town in the Texas Panhandle, and do not have access to any homosexual love. I am not in a position to leave this town, but I am twenty-three year's old, out of the closet, intelligent, and scored a 9.4 on www.hotornot.com. I'm also usually described as humble, despite the above back-patting, but I wanted to clearly describe the fault of my not finding love is not that I'm unattractive to homosexual men, but that I am in an area that does not afford me access to attractive gay men around my age. I have tried Internet personal ads, gay chat rooms, and word-of-mouth throughout the area, but have yet to meet anyone worth dating. Is there any chance that you can offer some more inconventional means for finding young, attractive gay people, or getting them to move to my area? Alone in Amarillo, TX Dear Alone, Inconventional? Is that some unholy hybrid of inconvenient and unconventional? The truth is, most ways of meeting people are both inconvenient and unconventional, and for gay men, the inconvenience and lack of convention increase exponentially. I know a lot of people who have yet to meet anyone worth dating. If you really are attractive, intelligent, and humble, you're going to have a hell of a time finding someone in your town who's also all of the above, since there are so few people fitting that description out there in the world. Put an ad on match.com or somewhere similar, and if I hear from anyone claiming to be attractive, intelligent, humble, young, gay, and living in Amarillo, I'll forward your profile to them. Ultimately, I'd strongly advise you to move to a large, liberal city that's crawling with young, smart, tasty gay men: New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles are some obvious choices. If you're not in a position to move now, figure out a way to get into that position. All gay men should know that flexibility and creativity are crucial to getting what you want in bed — er, I mean, out of life. Positioning, Tiny Little Penis I am in Oklahoma, married with 2 kids. Good life, huh? No! I am so starved for sex, I can think of nothing else. I'm 26. Is it my age, or what??? ACK!!! Starving Dear Starving, Yes, it is your age. You are now Too Old For Sex. Too bad for you. Oh well! Time to take up gardening like the rest of us old folks. Ahem. I know this sounds like an outrageous question, Starving, but have you talked with your husband about this? If you can think of nothing else but sex, I'm going to assume that part of your obsessiveness lies in your inability to face the fact that you'd like your relationship with your husband to be closer and more affectionate, but that he's been distant and you don't know how to handle the problem while keeping your pride intact. I suggest you talk with your husband. I know that sounds incredibly risky and desperate, but desperate times call for desperate measures. If you can't manage that, find a good local nursery with a wide variety of healthy perennials and get to planting, lady! Tiny Little Penis Subject: Now What Should I Do? Dear Tiny Little Penis, I'm a cranky old carpenter. I'm now working as an assistant super revamping the Montecito Biltmore for Ty Warner, the beanie baby dude. It's a beautiful spot next to the ocean, lots of beautiful people to look at (and resent and envy). Should I ride my bicycle early in the morning everyday, go to yoga every other day, Quit move to Echo Park and try to buy my father's childhood home on Lamoyne St.? I could move to Zen Mountain Center down in Riverside up in the San Jacintos, jerk-off and meditate or meditate and jerk off, and offend people! Any thoughts or pearls of swine will be great. Thanks, Ron Dear Ron, Pearls of swine, indeed! You're all over the map, Ron. I can hardly tell what you're asking, but in all your potential plans, I see a thread: a notable lack of connection to others. Resentment, envy, solitary exercise, big purchases, jerking off and meditating, offending people... As far as I can tell, your search for enlightenment thus far has amounted to selfishness and escapism. Enough scoping out people you resent, and meditating in ways that amount to jerking off. It's time for you to build a satisfying relationship with another human being. Then again, you did say you were cranky and old, so maybe you've moved past wanting to be around other humans. Hey, have you thought about taking up gardening? Just kidding. No one as old and cranky as you doesn't have a serious green thumb already. Remember mean old Mr. McGregor? Look, Ron, screw enlightenment. Buy your dad's home, fix it up, and sell it for more. Echo Park is hot, and it sounds like you'd rather be in business for yourself than stewing in resentment in some Beanie Baby Palace by the sea. Jumping from higher to lower levels of consciousness like a crop duster, Tiny Little Penis Got great big problems? Got tiny little problems? Write to Tiny Little Penis and get some answers! We reserve the right to edit your letter as we see fit. Be sure to let us know if you don't want us to publish your name and/or email address. Discuss your problems with your closest friends, in Plastic. courtesy of Tiny Little Penis pictures Terry Colon Subject: My friends suck Dear TLP, I grew up a nice liberal type in the Pacific Northwest. As a younger man I believed deeply in feminism and in the idea that real men draw their power from accomplishment and character rather than from the exercise of privilege. That's just plain American if you ask me. I was at a party this weekend with many of my old friends when I came to realize how out of touch this position is. In lieu of bravery, ambition, and a certain stoicism in the face of adversity, qualities that I've come to value, my friends collect comics, noodle around in their basements with electric guitars, and are really good at thrift shopping. Instead of bringing home the bacon, they cook up mean blackened ahi tuna steaks with homemade fire roasted chipotle salsa whilst their girlfriends work on their doctoral theses. For their part, the girls I grew up with whom I once so admired, seem to think it's their right — ney, their political duty — to fashion their innumerable dissatisfactions into novel complaints designed to shame, humiliate, and blame these sorry-ass losers for everything, while at the same time blindly investing them with qualities (ambition, purpose, and fidelity to name just a few) that the guys themselves would be ashamed to lay claim to. Ten years ago these tendencies seemed sexy and strong. These days they just seem vain and ugly. I like fire roasted chipotle salsa just fine, TLP. I guess my question is, am I really an "angry white guy" and a "tool of the man" as my sniveling brethren reproachfully chide? Should I strive to refashion myself into a moron who, in order to mask my dissolute state as a wife-man who can't or won't keep up, takes pride in doggedly worshiping empty totems of "guy stuff" ala every beer commercial shot in the last ten years, because, you know, chicks dig "bad boys"? Am I becoming a Republican or something? Please Help! Thanks, Kruft Dear Kruft, It sounds like your friends are going through a typical early-20s quest to define themselves through what they're not. The women are bitter, they're uncomfortable being the breadwinners, and they aren't very good at communicating their needs yet. The men seem to fear both stagnancy and adventure, so for the moment they're turning their backs on ambition and stoicism in order to learn blues scales and make good salsa. Both the women and the men are battling the expectations being placed on them, and the expectations they've placed on themselves. And so are you. You attack in your friends those behaviors you won't allow in yourself — aimlessness, wishy-washiness in the face of adversity, and an ambitionless, relaxed lifestyle. It seems like you're driving yourself too hard, and it's starting to show in your merciless attitude towards others. Your friends will grow up eventually. In the meantime, take some time to stop and enjoy the chipotle salsa. On the other hand, maybe your friends just plain suck ass, like you said. The friends I had straight out of college sure did. But you know what I wish? I wish I had enjoyed that salsa more. Those assholes made some great salsa. The bottom line is, your new friends might not make you feel like an angry Republican, but when they slide you a bag of Fritos and a jar of Old El Paso, you'll be longing for the serrano-roasting slackers of yesteryear. Tiny Little Penis Dear Tiny Little Penis, My problem is that I live in a small town in the Texas Panhandle, and do not have access to any homosexual love. I am not in a position to leave this town, but I am twenty-three year's old, out of the closet, intelligent, and scored a 9.4 on www.hotornot.com. I'm also usually described as humble, despite the above back-patting, but I wanted to clearly describe the fault of my not finding love is not that I'm unattractive to homosexual men, but that I am in an area that does not afford me access to attractive gay men around my age. I have tried Internet personal ads, gay chat rooms, and word-of-mouth throughout the area, but have yet to meet anyone worth dating. Is there any chance that you can offer some more inconventional means for finding young, attractive gay people, or getting them to move to my area? Alone in Amarillo, TX Dear Alone, Inconventional? Is that some unholy hybrid of inconvenient and unconventional? The truth is, most ways of meeting people are both inconvenient and unconventional, and for gay men, the inconvenience and lack of convention increase exponentially. I know a lot of people who have yet to meet anyone worth dating. If you really are attractive, intelligent, and humble, you're going to have a hell of a time finding someone in your town who's also all of the above, since there are so few people fitting that description out there in the world. Put an ad on match.com or somewhere similar, and if I hear from anyone claiming to be attractive, intelligent, humble, young, gay, and living in Amarillo, I'll forward your profile to them. Ultimately, I'd strongly advise you to move to a large, liberal city that's crawling with young, smart, tasty gay men: New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles are some obvious choices. If you're not in a position to move now, figure out a way to get into that position. All gay men should know that flexibility and creativity are crucial to getting what you want in bed — er, I mean, out of life. Positioning, Tiny Little Penis I am in Oklahoma, married with 2 kids. Good life, huh? No! I am so starved for sex, I can think of nothing else. I'm 26. Is it my age, or what??? ACK!!! Starving Dear Starving, Yes, it is your age. You are now Too Old For Sex. Too bad for you. Oh well! Time to take up gardening like the rest of us old folks. Ahem. I know this sounds like an outrageous question, Starving, but have you talked with your husband about this? If you can think of nothing else but sex, I'm going to assume that part of your obsessiveness lies in your inability to face the fact that you'd like your relationship with your husband to be closer and more affectionate, but that he's been distant and you don't know how to handle the problem while keeping your pride intact. I suggest you talk with your husband. I know that sounds incredibly risky and desperate, but desperate times call for desperate measures. If you can't manage that, find a good local nursery with a wide variety of healthy perennials and get to planting, lady! Tiny Little Penis Subject: Now What Should I Do? Dear Tiny Little Penis, I'm a cranky old carpenter. I'm now working as an assistant super revamping the Montecito Biltmore for Ty Warner, the beanie baby dude. It's a beautiful spot next to the ocean, lots of beautiful people to look at (and resent and envy). Should I ride my bicycle early in the morning everyday, go to yoga every other day, Quit move to Echo Park and try to buy my father's childhood home on Lamoyne St.? I could move to Zen Mountain Center down in Riverside up in the San Jacintos, jerk-off and meditate or meditate and jerk off, and offend people! Any thoughts or pearls of swine will be great. Thanks, Ron Dear Ron, Pearls of swine, indeed! You're all over the map, Ron. I can hardly tell what you're asking, but in all your potential plans, I see a thread: a notable lack of connection to others. Resentment, envy, solitary exercise, big purchases, jerking off and meditating, offending people... As far as I can tell, your search for enlightenment thus far has amounted to selfishness and escapism. Enough scoping out people you resent, and meditating in ways that amount to jerking off. It's time for you to build a satisfying relationship with another human being. Then again, you did say you were cranky and old, so maybe you've moved past wanting to be around other humans. Hey, have you thought about taking up gardening? Just kidding. No one as old and cranky as you doesn't have a serious green thumb already. Remember mean old Mr. McGregor? Look, Ron, screw enlightenment. Buy your dad's home, fix it up, and sell it for more. Echo Park is hot, and it sounds like you'd rather be in business for yourself than stewing in resentment in some Beanie Baby Palace by the sea. Jumping from higher to lower levels of consciousness like a crop duster, Tiny Little Penis Got great big problems? Got tiny little problems? Write to Tiny Little Penis and get some answers! We reserve the right to edit your letter as we see fit. Be sure to let us know if you don't want us to publish your name and/or email address. Discuss your problems with your closest friends, in Plastic. courtesy of Tiny Little Penis pictures Terry Colon Subject: My friends suck Dear TLP, I grew up a nice liberal type in the Pacific Northwest. As a younger man I believed deeply in feminism and in the idea that real men draw their power from accomplishment and character rather than from the exercise of privilege. That's just plain American if you ask me. I was at a party this weekend with many of my old friends when I came to realize how out of touch this position is. In lieu of bravery, ambition, and a certain stoicism in the face of adversity, qualities that I've come to value, my friends collect comics, noodle around in their basements with electric guitars, and are really good at thrift shopping. Instead of bringing home the bacon, they cook up mean blackened ahi tuna steaks with homemade fire roasted chipotle salsa whilst their girlfriends work on their doctoral theses. For their part, the girls I grew up with whom I once so admired, seem to think it's their right — ney, their political duty — to fashion their innumerable dissatisfactions into novel complaints designed to shame, humiliate, and blame these sorry-ass losers for everything, while at the same time blindly investing them with qualities (ambition, purpose, and fidelity to name just a few) that the guys themselves would be ashamed to lay claim to. Ten years ago these tendencies seemed sexy and strong. These days they just seem vain and ugly. I like fire roasted chipotle salsa just fine, TLP. I guess my question is, am I really an "angry white guy" and a "tool of the man" as my sniveling brethren reproachfully chide? Should I strive to refashion myself into a moron who, in order to mask my dissolute state as a wife-man who can't or won't keep up, takes pride in doggedly worshiping empty totems of "guy stuff" ala every beer commercial shot in the last ten years, because, you know, chicks dig "bad boys"? Am I becoming a Republican or something? Please Help! Thanks, Kruft Dear Kruft, It sounds like your friends are going through a typical early-20s quest to define themselves through what they're not. The women are bitter, they're uncomfortable being the breadwinners, and they aren't very good at communicating their needs yet. The men seem to fear both stagnancy and adventure, so for the moment they're turning their backs on ambition and stoicism in order to learn blues scales and make good salsa. Both the women and the men are battling the expectations being placed on them, and the expectations they've placed on themselves. And so are you. You attack in your friends those behaviors you won't allow in yourself — aimlessness, wishy-washiness in the face of adversity, and an ambitionless, relaxed lifestyle. It seems like you're driving yourself too hard, and it's starting to show in your merciless attitude towards others. Your friends will grow up eventually. In the meantime, take some time to stop and enjoy the chipotle salsa. On the other hand, maybe your friends just plain suck ass, like you said. The friends I had straight out of college sure did. But you know what I wish? I wish I had enjoyed that salsa more. Those assholes made some great salsa. The bottom line is, your new friends might not make you feel like an angry Republican, but when they slide you a bag of Fritos and a jar of Old El Paso, you'll be longing for the serrano-roasting slackers of yesteryear. Tiny Little Penis Dear Tiny Little Penis, My problem is that I live in a small town in the Texas Panhandle, and do not have access to any homosexual love. I am not in a position to leave this town, but I am twenty-three year's old, out of the closet, intelligent, and scored a 9.4 on www.hotornot.com. I'm also usually described as humble, despite the above back-patting, but I wanted to clearly describe the fault of my not finding love is not that I'm unattractive to homosexual men, but that I am in an area that does not afford me access to attractive gay men around my age. I have tried Internet personal ads, gay chat rooms, and word-of-mouth throughout the area, but have yet to meet anyone worth dating. Is there any chance that you can offer some more inconventional means for finding young, attractive gay people, or getting them to move to my area? Alone in Amarillo, TX Dear Alone, Inconventional? Is that some unholy hybrid of inconvenient and unconventional? The truth is, most ways of meeting people are both inconvenient and unconventional, and for gay men, the inconvenience and lack of convention increase exponentially. I know a lot of people who have yet to meet anyone worth dating. If you really are attractive, intelligent, and humble, you're going to have a hell of a time finding someone in your town who's also all of the above, since there are so few people fitting that description out there in the world. Put an ad on match.com or somewhere similar, and if I hear from anyone claiming to be attractive, intelligent, humble, young, gay, and living in Amarillo, I'll forward your profile to them. Ultimately, I'd strongly advise you to move to a large, liberal city that's crawling with young, smart, tasty gay men: New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles are some obvious choices. If you're not in a position to move now, figure out a way to get into that position. All gay men should know that flexibility and creativity are crucial to getting what you want in bed — er, I mean, out of life. Positioning, Tiny Little Penis I am in Oklahoma, married with 2 kids. Good life, huh? No! I am so starved for sex, I can think of nothing else. I'm 26. Is it my age, or what??? ACK!!! Starving Dear Starving, Yes, it is your age. You are now Too Old For Sex. Too bad for you. Oh well! Time to take up gardening like the rest of us old folks. Ahem. I know this sounds like an outrageous question, Starving, but have you talked with your husband about this? If you can think of nothing else but sex, I'm going to assume that part of your obsessiveness lies in your inability to face the fact that you'd like your relationship with your husband to be closer and more affectionate, but that he's been distant and you don't know how to handle the problem while keeping your pride intact. I suggest you talk with your husband. I know that sounds incredibly risky and desperate, but desperate times call for desperate measures. If you can't manage that, find a good local nursery with a wide variety of healthy perennials and get to planting, lady! Tiny Little Penis Subject: Now What Should I Do? Dear Tiny Little Penis, I'm a cranky old carpenter. I'm now working as an assistant super revamping the Montecito Biltmore for Ty Warner, the beanie baby dude. It's a beautiful spot next to the ocean, lots of beautiful people to look at (and resent and envy). Should I ride my bicycle early in the morning everyday, go to yoga every other day, Quit move to Echo Park and try to buy my father's childhood home on Lamoyne St.? I could move to Zen Mountain Center down in Riverside up in the San Jacintos, jerk-off and meditate or meditate and jerk off, and offend people! Any thoughts or pearls of swine will be great. Thanks, Ron Dear Ron, Pearls of swine, indeed! You're all over the map, Ron. I can hardly tell what you're asking, but in all your potential plans, I see a thread: a notable lack of connection to others. Resentment, envy, solitary exercise, big purchases, jerking off and meditating, offending people... As far as I can tell, your search for enlightenment thus far has amounted to selfishness and escapism. Enough scoping out people you resent, and meditating in ways that amount to jerking off. It's time for you to build a satisfying relationship with another human being. Then again, you did say you were cranky and old, so maybe you've moved past wanting to be around other humans. Hey, have you thought about taking up gardening? Just kidding. No one as old and cranky as you doesn't have a serious green thumb already. Remember mean old Mr. McGregor? Look, Ron, screw enlightenment. Buy your dad's home, fix it up, and sell it for more. Echo Park is hot, and it sounds like you'd rather be in business for yourself than stewing in resentment in some Beanie Baby Palace by the sea. Jumping from higher to lower levels of consciousness like a crop duster, Tiny Little Penis Got great big problems? Got tiny little problems? Write to Tiny Little Penis and get some answers! We reserve the right to edit your letter as we see fit. Be sure to let us know if you don't want us to publish your name and/or email address. Discuss your problems with your closest friends, in Plastic. courtesy of Tiny Little Penis pictures Terry Colon Subject: My friends suck Dear TLP, I grew up a nice liberal type in the Pacific Northwest. As a younger man I believed deeply in feminism and in the idea that real men draw their power from accomplishment and character rather than from the exercise of privilege. That's just plain American if you ask me. I was at a party this weekend with many of my old friends when I came to realize how out of touch this position is. In lieu of bravery, ambition, and a certain stoicism in the face of adversity, qualities that I've come to value, my friends collect comics, noodle around in their basements with electric guitars, and are really good at thrift shopping. Instead of bringing home the bacon, they cook up mean blackened ahi tuna steaks with homemade fire roasted chipotle salsa whilst their girlfriends work on their doctoral theses. For their part, the girls I grew up with whom I once so admired, seem to think it's their right — ney, their political duty — to fashion their innumerable dissatisfactions into novel complaints designed to shame, humiliate, and blame these sorry-ass losers for everything, while at the same time blindly investing them with qualities (ambition, purpose, and fidelity to name just a few) that the guys themselves would be ashamed to lay claim to. Ten years ago these tendencies seemed sexy and strong. These days they just seem vain and ugly. I like fire roasted chipotle salsa just fine, TLP. I guess my question is, am I really an "angry white guy" and a "tool of the man" as my sniveling brethren reproachfully chide? Should I strive to refashion myself into a moron who, in order to mask my dissolute state as a wife-man who can't or won't keep up, takes pride in doggedly worshiping empty totems of "guy stuff" ala every beer commercial shot in the last ten years, because, you know, chicks dig "bad boys"? Am I becoming a Republican or something? Please Help! Thanks, Kruft Dear Kruft, It sounds like your friends are going through a typical early-20s quest to define themselves through what they're not. The women are bitter, they're uncomfortable being the breadwinners, and they aren't very good at communicating their needs yet. The men seem to fear both stagnancy and adventure, so for the moment they're turning their backs on ambition and stoicism in order to learn blues scales and make good salsa. Both the women and the men are battling the expectations being placed on them, and the expectations they've placed on themselves. And so are you. You attack in your friends those behaviors you won't allow in yourself — aimlessness, wishy-washiness in the face of adversity, and an ambitionless, relaxed lifestyle. It seems like you're driving yourself too hard, and it's starting to show in your merciless attitude towards others. Your friends will grow up eventually. In the meantime, take some time to stop and enjoy the chipotle salsa. On the other hand, maybe your friends just plain suck ass, like you said. The friends I had straight out of college sure did. But you know what I wish? I wish I had enjoyed that salsa more. Those assholes made some great salsa. The bottom line is, your new friends might not make you feel like an angry Republican, but when they slide you a bag of Fritos and a jar of Old El Paso, you'll be longing for the serrano-roasting slackers of yesteryear. Tiny Little Penis Dear Tiny Little Penis, My problem is that I live in a small town in the Texas Panhandle, and do not have access to any homosexual love. I am not in a position to leave this town, but I am twenty-three year's old, out of the closet, intelligent, and scored a 9.4 on www.hotornot.com. I'm also usually described as humble, despite the above back-patting, but I wanted to clearly describe the fault of my not finding love is not that I'm unattractive to homosexual men, but that I am in an area that does not afford me access to attractive gay men around my age. I have tried Internet personal ads, gay chat rooms, and word-of-mouth throughout the area, but have yet to meet anyone worth dating. Is there any chance that you can offer some more inconventional means for finding young, attractive gay people, or getting them to move to my area? Alone in Amarillo, TX Dear Alone, Inconventional? Is that some unholy hybrid of inconvenient and unconventional? The truth is, most ways of meeting people are both inconvenient and unconventional, and for gay men, the inconvenience and lack of convention increase exponentially. I know a lot of people who have yet to meet anyone worth dating. If you really are attractive, intelligent, and humble, you're going to have a hell of a time finding someone in your town who's also all of the above, since there are so few people fitting that description out there in the world. Put an ad on match.com or somewhere similar, and if I hear from anyone claiming to be attractive, intelligent, humble, young, gay, and living in Amarillo, I'll forward your profile to them. Ultimately, I'd strongly advise you to move to a large, liberal city that's crawling with young, smart, tasty gay men: New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles are some obvious choices. If you're not in a position to move now, figure out a way to get into that position. All gay men should know that flexibility and creativity are crucial to getting what you want in bed — er, I mean, out of life. Positioning, Tiny Little Penis I am in Oklahoma, married with 2 kids. Good life, huh? No! I am so starved for sex, I can think of nothing else. I'm 26. Is it my age, or what??? ACK!!! Starving Dear Starving, Yes, it is your age. You are now Too Old For Sex. Too bad for you. Oh well! Time to take up gardening like the rest of us old folks. Ahem. I know this sounds like an outrageous question, Starving, but have you talked with your husband about this? If you can think of nothing else but sex, I'm going to assume that part of your obsessiveness lies in your inability to face the fact that you'd like your relationship with your husband to be closer and more affectionate, but that he's been distant and you don't know how to handle the problem while keeping your pride intact. I suggest you talk with your husband. I know that sounds incredibly risky and desperate, but desperate times call for desperate measures. If you can't manage that, find a good local nursery with a wide variety of healthy perennials and get to planting, lady! Tiny Little Penis Subject: Now What Should I Do? Dear Tiny Little Penis, I'm a cranky old carpenter. I'm now working as an assistant super revamping the Montecito Biltmore for Ty Warner, the beanie baby dude. It's a beautiful spot next to the ocean, lots of beautiful people to look at (and resent and envy). Should I ride my bicycle early in the morning everyday, go to yoga every other day, Quit move to Echo Park and try to buy my father's childhood home on Lamoyne St.? I could move to Zen Mountain Center down in Riverside up in the San Jacintos, jerk-off and meditate or meditate and jerk off, and offend people! Any thoughts or pearls of swine will be great. Thanks, Ron Dear Ron, Pearls of swine, indeed! You're all over the map, Ron. I can hardly tell what you're asking, but in all your potential plans, I see a thread: a notable lack of connection to others. Resentment, envy, solitary exercise, big purchases, jerking off and meditating, offending people... As far as I can tell, your search for enlightenment thus far has amounted to selfishness and escapism. Enough scoping out people you resent, and meditating in ways that amount to jerking off. It's time for you to build a satisfying relationship with another human being. Then again, you did say you were cranky and old, so maybe you've moved past wanting to be around other humans. Hey, have you thought about taking up gardening? Just kidding. No one as old and cranky as you doesn't have a serious green thumb already. Remember mean old Mr. McGregor? Look, Ron, screw enlightenment. Buy your dad's home, fix it up, and sell it for more. Echo Park is hot, and it sounds like you'd rather be in business for yourself than stewing in resentment in some Beanie Baby Palace by the sea. Jumping from higher to lower levels of consciousness like a crop duster, Tiny Little Penis Got great big problems? Got tiny little problems? Write to Tiny Little Penis and get some answers! We reserve the right to edit your letter as we see fit. Be sure to let us know if you don't want us to publish your name and/or email address. Discuss your problems with your closest friends, in Plastic. courtesy of Tiny Little Penis pictures Terry Colon Subject: My friends suck Dear TLP, I grew up a nice liberal type in the Pacific Northwest. As a younger man I believed deeply in feminism and in the idea that real men draw their power from accomplishment and character rather than from the exercise of privilege. That's just plain American if you ask me. I was at a party this weekend with many of my old friends when I came to realize how out of touch this position is. In lieu of bravery, ambition, and a certain stoicism in the face of adversity, qualities that I've come to value, my friends collect comics, noodle around in their basements with electric guitars, and are really good at thrift shopping. Instead of bringing home the bacon, they cook up mean blackened ahi tuna steaks with homemade fire roasted chipotle salsa whilst their girlfriends work on their doctoral theses. For their part, the girls I grew up with whom I once so admired, seem to think it's their right — ney, their political duty — to fashion their innumerable dissatisfactions into novel complaints designed to shame, humiliate, and blame these sorry-ass losers for everything, while at the same time blindly investing them with qualities (ambition, purpose, and fidelity to name just a few) that the guys themselves would be ashamed to lay claim to. Ten years ago these tendencies seemed sexy and strong. These days they just seem vain and ugly. I like fire roasted chipotle salsa just fine, TLP. I guess my question is, am I really an "angry white guy" and a "tool of the man" as my sniveling brethren reproachfully chide? Should I strive to refashion myself into a moron who, in order to mask my dissolute state as a wife-man who can't or won't keep up, takes pride in doggedly worshiping empty totems of "guy stuff" ala every beer commercial shot in the last ten years, because, you know, chicks dig "bad boys"? Am I becoming a Republican or something? Please Help! Thanks, Kruft Dear Kruft, It sounds like your friends are going through a typical early-20s quest to define themselves through what they're not. The women are bitter, they're uncomfortable being the breadwinners, and they aren't very good at communicating their needs yet. The men seem to fear both stagnancy and adventure, so for the moment they're turning their backs on ambition and stoicism in order to learn blues scales and make good salsa. Both the women and the men are battling the expectations being placed on them, and the expectations they've placed on themselves. And so are you. You attack in your friends those behaviors you won't allow in yourself — aimlessness, wishy-washiness in the face of adversity, and an ambitionless, relaxed lifestyle. It seems like you're driving yourself too hard, and it's starting to show in your merciless attitude towards others. Your friends will grow up eventually. In the meantime, take some time to stop and enjoy the chipotle salsa. On the other hand, maybe your friends just plain suck ass, like you said. The friends I had straight out of college sure did. But you know what I wish? I wish I had enjoyed that salsa more. Those assholes made some great salsa. The bottom line is, your new friends might not make you feel like an angry Republican, but when they slide you a bag of Fritos and a jar of Old El Paso, you'll be longing for the serrano-roasting slackers of yesteryear. Tiny Little Penis Dear Tiny Little Penis, My problem is that I live in a small town in the Texas Panhandle, and do not have access to any homosexual love. I am not in a position to leave this town, but I am twenty-three year's old, out of the closet, intelligent, and scored a 9.4 on www.hotornot.com. I'm also usually described as humble, despite the above back-patting, but I wanted to clearly describe the fault of my not finding love is not that I'm unattractive to homosexual men, but that I am in an area that does not afford me access to attractive gay men around my age. I have tried Internet personal ads, gay chat rooms, and word-of-mouth throughout the area, but have yet to meet anyone worth dating. Is there any chance that you can offer some more inconventional means for finding young, attractive gay people, or getting them to move to my area? Alone in Amarillo, TX Dear Alone, Inconventional? Is that some unholy hybrid of inconvenient and unconventional? The truth is, most ways of meeting people are both inconvenient and unconventional, and for gay men, the inconvenience and lack of convention increase exponentially. I know a lot of people who have yet to meet anyone worth dating. If you really are attractive, intelligent, and humble, you're going to have a hell of a time finding someone in your town who's also all of the above, since there are so few people fitting that description out there in the world. Put an ad on match.com or somewhere similar, and if I hear from anyone claiming to be attractive, intelligent, humble, young, gay, and living in Amarillo, I'll forward your profile to them. Ultimately, I'd strongly advise you to move to a large, liberal city that's crawling with young, smart, tasty gay men: New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles are some obvious choices. If you're not in a position to move now, figure out a way to get into that position. All gay men should know that flexibility and creativity are crucial to getting what you want in bed — er, I mean, out of life. Positioning, Tiny Little Penis I am in Oklahoma, married with 2 kids. Good life, huh? No! I am so starved for sex, I can think of nothing else. I'm 26. Is it my age, or what??? ACK!!! Starving Dear Starving, Yes, it is your age. You are now Too Old For Sex. Too bad for you. Oh well! Time to take up gardening like the rest of us old folks. Ahem. I know this sounds like an outrageous question, Starving, but have you talked with your husband about this? If you can think of nothing else but sex, I'm going to assume that part of your obsessiveness lies in your inability to face the fact that you'd like your relationship with your husband to be closer and more affectionate, but that he's been distant and you don't know how to handle the problem while keeping your pride intact. I suggest you talk with your husband. I know that sounds incredibly risky and desperate, but desperate times call for desperate measures. If you can't manage that, find a good local nursery with a wide variety of healthy perennials and get to planting, lady! Tiny Little Penis Subject: Now What Should I Do? Dear Tiny Little Penis, I'm a cranky old carpenter. I'm now working as an assistant super revamping the Montecito Biltmore for Ty Warner, the beanie baby dude. It's a beautiful spot next to the ocean, lots of beautiful people to look at (and resent and envy). Should I ride my bicycle early in the morning everyday, go to yoga every other day, Quit move to Echo Park and try to buy my father's childhood home on Lamoyne St.? I could move to Zen Mountain Center down in Riverside up in the San Jacintos, jerk-off and meditate or meditate and jerk off, and offend people! Any thoughts or pearls of swine will be great. Thanks, Ron Dear Ron, Pearls of swine, indeed! You're all over the map, Ron. I can hardly tell what you're asking, but in all your potential plans, I see a thread: a notable lack of connection to others. Resentment, envy, solitary exercise, big purchases, jerking off and meditating, offending people... As far as I can tell, your search for enlightenment thus far has amounted to selfishness and escapism. Enough scoping out people you resent, and meditating in ways that amount to jerking off. It's time for you to build a satisfying relationship with another human being. Then again, you did say you were cranky and old, so maybe you've moved past wanting to be around other humans. Hey, have you thought about taking up gardening? Just kidding. No one as old and cranky as you doesn't have a serious green thumb already. Remember mean old Mr. McGregor? Look, Ron, screw enlightenment. Buy your dad's home, fix it up, and sell it for more. Echo Park is hot, and it sounds like you'd rather be in business for yourself than stewing in resentment in some Beanie Baby Palace by the sea. Jumping from higher to lower levels of consciousness like a crop duster, Tiny Little Penis Got great big problems? Got tiny little problems? Write to Tiny Little Penis and get some answers! We reserve the right to edit your letter as we see fit. Be sure to let us know if you don't want us to publish your name and/or email address. Discuss your problems with your closest friends, in Plastic. courtesy of Tiny Little Penis pictures Terry Colon Subject: My friends suck Dear TLP, I grew up a nice liberal type in the Pacific Northwest. As a younger man I believed deeply in feminism and in the idea that real men draw their power from accomplishment and character rather than from the exercise of privilege. That's just plain American if you ask me. I was at a party this weekend with many of my old friends when I came to realize how out of touch this position is. In lieu of bravery, ambition, and a certain stoicism in the face of adversity, qualities that I've come to value, my friends collect comics, noodle around in their basements with electric guitars, and are really good at thrift shopping. Instead of bringing home the bacon, they cook up mean blackened ahi tuna steaks with homemade fire roasted chipotle salsa whilst their girlfriends work on their doctoral theses. For their part, the girls I grew up with whom I once so admired, seem to think it's their right — ney, their political duty — to fashion their innumerable dissatisfactions into novel complaints designed to shame, humiliate, and blame these sorry-ass losers for everything, while at the same time blindly investing them with qualities (ambition, purpose, and fidelity to name just a few) that the guys themselves would be ashamed to lay claim to. Ten years ago these tendencies seemed sexy and strong. These days they just seem vain and ugly. I like fire roasted chipotle salsa just fine, TLP. I guess my question is, am I really an "angry white guy" and a "tool of the man" as my sniveling brethren reproachfully chide? Should I strive to refashion myself into a moron who, in order to mask my dissolute state as a wife-man who can't or won't keep up, takes pride in doggedly worshiping empty totems of "guy stuff" ala every beer commercial shot in the last ten years, because, you know, chicks dig "bad boys"? Am I becoming a Republican or something? Please Help! Thanks, Kruft Dear Kruft, It sounds like your friends are going through a typical early-20s quest to define themselves through what they're not. The women are bitter, they're uncomfortable being the breadwinners, and they aren't very good at communicating their needs yet. The men seem to fear both stagnancy and adventure, so for the moment they're turning their backs on ambition and stoicism in order to learn blues scales and make good salsa. Both the women and the men are battling the expectations being placed on them, and the expectations they've placed on themselves. And so are you. You attack in your friends those behaviors you won't allow in yourself — aimlessness, wishy-washiness in the face of adversity, and an ambitionless, relaxed lifestyle. It seems like you're driving yourself too hard, and it's starting to show in your merciless attitude towards others. Your friends will grow up eventually. In the meantime, take some time to stop and enjoy the chipotle salsa. On the other hand, maybe your friends just plain suck ass, like you said. The friends I had straight out of college sure did. But you know what I wish? I wish I had enjoyed that salsa more. Those assholes made some great salsa. The bottom line is, your new friends might not make you feel like an angry Republican, but when they slide you a bag of Fritos and a jar of Old El Paso, you'll be longing for the serrano-roasting slackers of yesteryear. Tiny Little Penis Dear Tiny Little Penis, My problem is that I live in a small town in the Texas Panhandle, and do not have access to any homosexual love. I am not in a position to leave this town, but I am twenty-three year's old, out of the closet, intelligent, and scored a 9.4 on www.hotornot.com. I'm also usually described as humble, despite the above back-patting, but I wanted to clearly describe the fault of my not finding love is not that I'm unattractive to homosexual men, but that I am in an area that does not afford me access to attractive gay men around my age. I have tried Internet personal ads, gay chat rooms, and word-of-mouth throughout the area, but have yet to meet anyone worth dating. Is there any chance that you can offer some more inconventional means for finding young, attractive gay people, or getting them to move to my area? Alone in Amarillo, TX Dear Alone, Inconventional? Is that some unholy hybrid of inconvenient and unconventional? The truth is, most ways of meeting people are both inconvenient and unconventional, and for gay men, the inconvenience and lack of convention increase exponentially. I know a lot of people who have yet to meet anyone worth dating. If you really are attractive, intelligent, and humble, you're going to have a hell of a time finding someone in your town who's also all of the above, since there are so few people fitting that description out there in the world. Put an ad on match.com or somewhere similar, and if I hear from anyone claiming to be attractive, intelli |
| Name: | blando |
| Comments: | <pre>
Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — you |
| Name: | blunda |
| Comments: | <pre>
Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre> <pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre> <pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me personally — your best work, 365 days a year. You can't just leave me hanging like this! A. But think how good it will feel when you see the Sucksters again, tanned, rested and ready, with recharged batteries and can-do attitudes! Q. Who wants a can-do attitude from the Sucksters? You're supposed to be miserable for my entertainment. Whatever happened to suffering for your art? A. Every day for six years we've been shucking and jiving for the amusement of a bunch of retards and you say we're not suffering enough? Q. How dare you refer to me that way? I've been reading Suck since 1995, before you sold out and it really started to blow. You bastards owe me for all that time! A. No, you owe us. Why should we have to slave like this without a break? Q. Because without Suck, who will challenge America's foulest blowhards? Without Suck you've got a whole country of people who think loathsome drizzlerods like Maureen Dowd are incredibly daring and insightful and self-infatuated lardasses like Thomas L. Friedman are shrewd commentators on the world scene. Without Suck who's going to challenge the sad little weasels with nothing going for them? Without Suck it's just grinning idiots all the way down, Steve Martin humor columns, asswipe behind-the-scenes specials about the making of Tomb Raider. A. We feel your pain. We truly do. But even schoolchildren get the summer off. We want to be alone. Q. Fuck what you want. What about my needs? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? A. Keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, enjoy our hand-selected Suck classics, and keep on dreaming of a better day. Q. Where is the love? A. It's all around you. Can't you feel it? Q. I guess I can. Is this vacation for real? A. Real as the World Wide Web. See you soon. Take a break in today's Plastic discussion courtesy of The Sucksters pictures Terry Colon </pre><pre> Q. Who said Suck is entitled to a vacation? A. Well, it all goes back to our abiding ambition to become the Johnny Carsons of the Web. You'll recall that the original latenight smoothie was famous not only for his unflappable desk manner, uproarious animal guests and outrageous "Carnac" routines, but for disappearing for weeks and months at a time, leaving the show in the capable hands of various Brenners and Shandlings. And who can forget the immortal Joan Rivers? Didn't these frequent absences really just make you fonder of old Johnny? Q. No, they didn't. A. But consider how the vacations gave you a chance to reflect on all that Johnny meant to you. Q. That was back in the eighties, you over-the-hill fuckfaces. We're in a competitive global economy now, where Dave and Jay can't afford to lose even a week's worth of edge. A. That's true at the general level, not at the specific. Our surveys indicate Web content in the year 2001 is the least competitive industry since Special Education. What else are you going to read? GettingIt? RequestLine? The Finger? Q. Better their back issues than your moldy old flapdoodle. Old Sucks are torture — like reading five-year-old Village Voice articles, just like James Wolcott said. A. If you really feel this way, maybe you should look into our five years ago today feature. Q. I've tried that. It just doesn't fulfill me like a brand new Suck, ripped from today's headlines. A. If you're looking to Suck for fulfillment, you've got bigger problems than our vacation. Q. But I do look to Suck for fulfillment. Suck is my [breakfast time/work-shirking/coffee break/lunchtime] reading; without it my life isn't complete. A. Then why are you always sending us nasty letters? Q. It's tough love! I feel that you guys owe me — me person |
| Name: | Ridiculous |
| Comments: | I just don't understand. I was in bed with my French "girlfriend", when "she" pulled her dick out of my mouth and said "Mais oui, mon petite cherie, now eet is time for your back door, non?" At first it was very painful, but later, after most of the stretching and bleeding was over, I kind of liked it! That doesn't make me a faggot, does it? |
| Name: | Captain Nemo Buoy Jr. 3rd |
| Comments: | I can't figure it out. My fingers always stink! And my ass bleeds A LOT! I went to see my doctor, and he told me that I could solve both problems if I just kept my fingers out of my ass. If you aren't careful, you learn something new every day! |
| Name: | Kingfish |
| E-mail address: | Kingfish@amos&andy.com |
| Comments: | RE-dickless be havin' he self a full blowed 5 year old EYE-dentity crisis, sho-nuff! |
| Name: | Kingfish |
| E-mail address: | Kingfish@amos&andy.com |
| Comments: | Ok asshole. whoever posted the last post quit posting under my fucking name. And go pick up a book on hookedonphonic hwile you're at it. dont post udner my name assholewipeturd pussy cocksucking motherfucker. |
| Name: | Kingfish |
| E-mail address: | Kingfish@amos&andy.com |
| Comments: | HOT dam! They go that REE-dickless fella AGIN! Now he postin under MY name, and still sayin bad shit about heself. REE-dickless, I thinkin you need some help, like from one of them Jewish head shrinkers. You got some BAD problems, and Kingfish too busy rippin' off thet suckah Andy, not to mention whitey to help you any. You a sad and pittifull pusson. Maybe it all that sperm you swallow. Get help. |
| Name: | Kingfish |
| E-mail address: | Kingfish@amos&andy.com |
| Comments: | I'm ugly stupid and masturbate to gay porno. my last post didn't make any fucking sense. damn I hate chinks. I wish 34 of them would ocm e to my hosue and ufck me in the asshole quietly until dawn. |
| Name: | Kingfish |
| E-mail address: | Kingfish@amos&andy.com |
| Comments: | Nemo BOY the Thud, you say in yo last post, "To quote the last post on this board, by Kingfish, "Makes sho yo frog bitch wash her pussy, or else you might lose yo dick AGAIN, then you be REE-dickless fo sho!" I only have this to ask: lose your dick again? so you're telling me this guy lost his dick once and got it back? that's fucking lame man. you can do better than that. come up with some original material or just dont fucking post your bullshit here. asshole."
OF COURSE he lost he dick oncet already, dumb fuck! That why he called RE-dickless! A stupid bastid likes you should be workin' fo salvation army ringin' a fuckin' bell you faggot. Next time, buy a clue instead of drugs, you stupid pussy! |
| Name: | Kingfish |
| E-mail address: | Kingfish@amos&andy.com |
| Comments: | Well now, it do seem to appear that you is momentarily correct, Yes-man, but as you can see with yo little bitty faggot eyeballs, I can simply write more. So post some more of yo yadda yadda yadda fag boy shit, it don't bother me none atall, an ain't even very clever. What is you anyway, boy, a lawyer? |
| Name: | Yes! |
| Comments: | Fuck you Kingfish. There's so much posted material on here I've effectively wiped out all your blabbering. |
| Name: | dsd |
| Comments: | Name: Two Subsequent Meetings
Comments: Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Dunc |
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Comments: Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Dunc |
| Name: | 3 |
| Comments: | Name: Two Subsequent Meetings
Comments: Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State %0 |
| Name: | 3 |
| Comments: | Name: Two Subsequent Meetings
Comments: Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan |
| Name: | 3 |
| Comments: | Name: Two Subsequent Meetings
Comments: Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan |
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Comments: Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice President, Human Resources and Quality of American Express Peter Georgescu Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Young & Rubicam Richard Halerpin Executive Vice President and Special Counsel to the President of Revlon Barbara Naismith Secretary at American Express Ronald Perelman Chairman of the Board of McAndrews & Forbes Holding Incorporated Thomas Schick Executive Vice President, Corporate Affairs and Communications at American Express Douglas S. Willey Vice President, Hecht-Spencer Secret Service William C. Bordley Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Byrne Secret Service Uniformed Officer Daniel Carbonetti Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brent Chinery Secret Service Uniformed Officer Larry Cockell Special Agent In Charge, Secret Service Presidential Protective Division Douglas Dragotta Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert C. Ferguson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Fox Retired Secret Service Uniformed Officer Mathew Fitsch Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Division Nelson Garabito Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryan Hall Secret Service Uniformed Officer Brian Henderson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Reginald Hightower Secret Service Uniformed Officer Oliver Janney Secret Service Uniformed Officer Greg LaDow Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Ludtke III Secret Service Uniformed Officer Tim Lynn Secret Service Uniformed Officer Lewis Merletti Director, Secret Service John Muskett Secret Service Uniformed Officer Fremon Myles, Jr. Secret Service Uniformed Officer Robert Myrick Secret Service Uniformed Officer Gary Niedzwieki Secret Service Uniformed Officer Joe Overstreet Secret Service Uniformed Officer Steven Pape Secret Service Uniformed Officer Stacy Porter Secret Service Uniformed Officer Geoffrey Purdie Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Captain William Clair Shegogue Secret Service Uniformed Officer Barry Smith Secret Service Uniformed Officer William Tyler Secret Service Uniformed Officer Sandra Verna Secret Service Uniformed Officer Keith Williams Secret Service Uniformed Officer, Sergeant Michael Wilson Secret Service Uniformed Officer Bryant Withrow Lt., Secret Service Uniformed Office Division Lawyers and Judges Kirbe Behre Linda Tripp's former attorney Robert Bennett Attorney for President Clinton Robert Bittman Deputy Independent Counsel Plato Cacheris Attorney for Monica Lewinsky Frank Carter Monica Lewinsky's former attorney Lloyd Cutler Former White House Counsel Mitchell Ettinger Attorney for President Clinton Vince Foster Former Deputy White House Counsel Hon. Norma Holloway Johnson Chief Judge, U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia David Kendall Attorney for President Clinton Karl Metzner Attorney for Betty Currie Kathy Sexton Attorney for President Clinton Hon. Susan Webber Wright U.S. District Judge presiding over Jones v. Clinton civil suit Hon. David Tatel Judge, U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit Media Matt Drudge Drudge Report Kristen Ganong Manager of Publications, The Heritage Foundation Lucianne Goldberg Literary Agent Michael Isikoff Reporter, Newsweek Magazine Jim Lehrer Television Journalist Eleanor Mondale Reporter, CBS News Susan Schmidt Correspondent, Washington Post Foreign Dignitaries Yitzak Rabin Former Prime Minister of Israel Ernesto Zedillo President of Mexico Other Ron Brown Former Commerce Secretary Patrick Fallon Special Agent, Federal Bureau of Investigation Webster L. Hubbell Former Associate Attorney General, Friend of the Clinton LinkExchange Member Family Table of Names The Principals William Jefferson Clinton President of the United States Paula Corbin Jones Plaintiff in a civil suit against President Clinton Monica Lewinsky Former White House Intern and Employee Betty Currie Personal Secretary to the President Vernon Jordan Friend of President Clinton, and Partner at Law Firm of Akin, Gump, Strauss, Hauer & Feld The First Family Hillary Rodham Clinton First Lady of the United States Chelsea Clinton Daughter of the President and First Lady Presidential Aides/Advisors/Assistants Madeline Albright Secretary of State Sidney Blumenthal Assistant to the President Erskine Bowles White House Chief of Staff Lanny Bruer Special Counsel to the President Stephen Goodin Aide to President Clinton Nancy Hernreich Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Oval Office Operations John Hilley Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Supervisor Harold Ickes Former Deputy Chief of Staff Janis Kearney Special Assistant to the President and Records Manager Timothy Keating Special Assistant to the President and Staff Director for Legislative Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Immediate Supervisor Ann Lewis Director, White House Communications Evelyn Lieberman Former Deputy Chief of Staff Bruce Lindsey Deputy White House Counsel Sylvia Mathews Deputy White House Chief of Staff Thomas "Mack" McLarty Former White House Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills Deputy White House Counsel Dick Morris Former Advisor to President Clinton Bob Nash Assistant to the President and Director of Presidential Personnel Leon Panetta Former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta Deputy White House Chief of Staff Hon. Bill Richardson U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Charles Ruff White House Counsel Marsha Scott Deputy Director of Personnel George Stephanopoulous Former Senior Advisor for Policy and Strategy Barry Toiv Deputy White House Press Secretary Other White House Personnel Karin Joyce Abramson Former Director of the White House Intern Program Caroline Badinelli Former White House Intern Douglas Band Former White House Intern Tracy Anne Bobowick Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Laura Capps Former White House Intern Jay Footlik Former Employee of the Office of Presidential Personnel Patrick Griffin Former Assistant to the President and Director of Legislative Affairs George Hannie White House Butler Jocelyn Jolley Former Director of Congressional Correspondence in the White House Maureen Lewis Former White House Employee, Correspondence Office Glen Maes White House Steward to President Clinton Bayani Nelvis White House Steward to President Clinton Charles O'Malley White House Operations Deputy Chief Jennifer Palmieri Former Special Assistant to the Chief of Staff Debra Schiff Receptionist, West Wing Lobby Jamie Beth Schwartz Former Special Assistant to the Social Secretary in the White House Social Office Patsy Thomasson Director of the Office ofAdministration, Executive Office of the President Kathleen Willey Former White House Volunteer Michael Williams Former White House Intern Department of Defense Employees Kenneth Bacon Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs; Monica Lewinsky's Pentagon Supervisor Elizabeth Bailey Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison Clifford Bernath Former Deputy to Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Donna Boltz Assistant in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Jeremy "Mike" Boorda Admiral, United States Navy (deceased) Richard Bridges Colonel, Director for Defense Information Rebecca Cooper Chief of Staff, United States Mission to the United Nations Monica Ramirez Cranick Sergeant, Broadcast Engineer, Office of the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Marsha Dimel Administrative Support Specialist for Personnel and Administration in the National Security Council Charles Duncan Former Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Kate Friedrich Special Assistant, National Security Advisor Jeff Gradick Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs James Graybeal Lt. Commander, Military Assistant to the Deputy Assistant to the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Mark Huffman Office Manager, Office of Public Affairs, United States Department of Defense Jodi Kessinger Former Administrative Assistant, Office of the National Security Advisor, National Security Council Janet Reno Attorney General of the United States Darby Ellen Stott Special Assistant, White House Press Secretary Mona Sutphen Special Assistant to the United States Ambassador to the United Nations Robert Tyrer Chief of Staff for the Secretary of Defense Isabelle Watkins Executive Assistant to Bill Richardson Monica Lewinsky's Friends/Family/Acquaintances Andrew Bleiler Former Boyfriend of Monica Lewinsky Catherine Allday Davis Friend of Monica Lewinky Kelly Lynn Davis Friend of Monica Lewinsky Neysa Erbland Friend of Monica Lewinsky Kathleen Estep Counselor to Monica Lewinsky Deborah Finerman Aunt of Monica Lewinsky David Grobanie Owner of Briarwood Bookstore Dr. Irene Kassorla Therapist to Monica Lewinsky Walter Kaye Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Marcia Lewis Mother of Monica Lewinsky Ashley Raines Friend of Monica Lewinsky and White House Director of Office and Policy Development Operations and Special Liaison Peter Strauss Husband of Marcia Lewis Linda Tripp Friend of Monica Lewinsky Natalie Rose Ungvari Friend of Monica Lewinsky Dale Young Family friend of Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky's New York Employment Contacts Celia Berk Managing Director of Human Resources at Burson-Marstellar Ursula Fairbairn Executive Vice Presiden |