Church of the Avocado Guestbook

If you have a minute, please add your entry to those below by signing our guestbook. If you want to join our church, just say so in the comments section and we'll get back to you!!

Name: Reverend Love
E-mail address: revlove2000@yahoo.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:Oh pithy fruit of the sun, thanks be to your omega oils that lubricate my mind... My I offer my thanks and praise. I'd like to become a member. Reverend Love
Sunday, June 22nd 2008 - 07:54:37 PM
Name: Pope Katherine I
E-mail address: pki876@yahoo.com
Homepage URL: http://www.myspace.com/popekatherinei
Comments:There can only be one! Cease and desist your pontificate, else we shall meet on the huskings! All hail Bucky.
Sunday, June 17th 2007 - 12:17:06 PM
Name: oops
E-mail address: la bamba
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:
Monday, February 7th 2005 - 06:48:24 PM
Name: hola amigo
E-mail address: no@no.no
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:
Monday, February 7th 2005 - 06:47:00 PM
Name: Jaguarstrike
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:
Monday, October 11th 2004 - 12:22:52 PM
Name: Janelle and Jim in KC
E-mail address: davisjan@fleishman.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:Help meeeeee! I live in this cursed land of no avocado trees! If I join your church and plant a seed, will I be able to grow one? We pay out the !@*!&! for avocados in Kansas City ... I love them so much, I estimate spending $500 a year on them. Sign us up members of your jolly green congregation. Praise the mighty avocado, and hallelujah!
Thursday, September 23rd 2004 - 10:06:11 AM
Name: dave
E-mail address: directconnect@angelfire.com
Homepage URL: http://www.contact-directconnect.com
Comments:Beware of Nigerians offering you millions….. LOL Apparently the Nigerian Scam is ruining Nigeria’s reputation as a place to do business. If you receive that crappy Nigerian scam letter hit the delete button. If you see mugu mugu on a message board don’t leave your email address or you are going to get the crappy Nigerian Scam letter! Mugu Mugu is a message left on message boards around the world by the Nigerian Scammers. (Keep off mugu mugu) this lets the other Nigerian lowlifes know that they have collected all of the email addresses posted on that message board! Nigerians offering you millions honest! LOL hit the delete button!
Friday, August 27th 2004 - 09:13:35 PM
Name: Debbie Miller
E-mail address: millerdl@indiana.edu
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:I just wanted to say hello to Dan #3 and all my dear old JHU friends. Dan - I've been trying to get a hold of you for ages! If you make it to this page, email me! I miss you! (And by the way everyone, I've been a member here for about 7 years now!)
Thursday, March 4th 2004 - 06:06:22 PM
Name: adrian
E-mail address: saxosailor@hotmail.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments: I work for Avocado every day,membership is my divine perogative,and why isn't my name down already.Im not saying anything else untill this is remedied.
Thursday, December 11th 2003 - 07:38:43 PM
Name: Follow of the most blessed mango
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:You are all going to face the wrath of the most blessed mango. Your religious lies will damn you to eternity in the grand pickling vat where you will be slowly digested for 5000 years. All hail the most blessed mango!
Monday, September 29th 2003 - 06:25:35 AM
Name: mugu
E-mail address: mugu@mugu.com
Homepage URL: lome togo
Comments:nice site mugu
Friday, July 18th 2003 - 04:33:21 AM
Name: Benjamin Queague
E-mail address: dr.queague@amerikanska.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:'Course I want to join your church. Who in hell would not? It's like Moses used to say: "ya can't belong to too many churches"
Monday, May 26th 2003 - 04:27:05 PM
Name: rika
E-mail address: motormouth98@hotmail.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:We want to give our Professor who owns an avocado grove a membership to your church at our annual department picnic. How do we go about getting him a membership. Is there a certificate you can send us? Thanks
Monday, April 21st 2003 - 08:04:12 PM
Name: Rick Mervis
E-mail address: Rmervis@ottonemenz.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:Please read the e-mail I sent this morning. I want to write for you guys. How do I go about it? Rick
Monday, April 21st 2003 - 10:15:29 AM
Name: Cayla
E-mail address: cay@caylas.com
Homepage URL: http://www.caylas.com
Comments:Totally cool site wishing you all the best cay xxx
Tuesday, April 15th 2003 - 05:00:55 AM
Name: Emma
E-mail address: emma@cuteandsingle.com
Homepage URL: cuteandsingle.com
Comments:You have done a wonderful job on this site!
Monday, April 14th 2003 - 08:02:20 AM
Name: erin
E-mail address: walrus_goo_goo_gjoob@hotmail.com
Homepage URL: http://www.homestead.com/helterskelter666
Comments:I work in the produce section of a natural foods store and have fallen in love with the avacado. I would die for one, I would.
Friday, February 28th 2003 - 08:25:33 PM
Name: John de Vries, Calgary, Alberta, CANADA
E-mail address: lcanmore@telusplanet.net
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:Very Interesting. My question is:'what can I get out of it" in other words:' "Is there a chance to make a buck"?
Wednesday, August 14th 2002 - 05:50:34 AM
Name: Serena
E-mail address: serena@flying-squirrels.com
Homepage URL: www.flying-squirrels.com
Comments:Attractive and quality site you have here! Good work.
Thursday, June 13th 2002 - 05:28:26 AM
Name: Avocado Thesis Translucent
E-mail address: lupin@shadowgroup.zzn.com
Homepage URL: http://www.geocities.com/DragonLupis/
Comments:I CAN'T BELEIVE ALL OF YOU!!! YOU BROKE THE SACRED RULE 2.)Thou shalt not eat guacamole. Eating of guacamole is the only unforgivable sin. !!!!!! IT'S UNFORGIVIABLE, I'm not sure what the Great Avocado in the Sky shall do to you, but it shalt be so!
Friday, April 12th 2002 - 08:27:03 PM
Name: Dr.DETh
E-mail address: DR.D@riteon.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:As long standing members and founders of the MOOSEHEAD SURF CLUB we have always known that the AVOCADO was sacred. Our ancient California beach cliff drawings depict an Avocado with wings and it has adorned our ceremonial garb since the begginning. A flying Avocado!? The prospect has always puzzeled and confused the unknowing. For those who do not like Avocados, thank you. There is nothing more to say to you. Add some cold brew and brother HABENERO and you will have a truly religous expierience. HOT TIP::::: Do not be fooled by WASABI.....PEACE.....DETh
Thursday, January 31st 2002 - 12:02:09 PM
Name: Randy Jones
E-mail address: coffeeboy2000@webtv.net
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:I already belong to a Protestant order of the church, where we are allowed to partake as long as the contents of the bowl is called "Avocado Dip". I could not resist the temptations of Super Bowl Sunday AND Cinco de Mayo, the twin Mardi Gras of the avocado calendar. Those of us who still feel guilty are usually able to melt those feelings away by saying 10 Holy Guacamoles. You can spot one of us in public quite easily. We are the ones driving the cars with bumper stickers reading "It's HAAS, not HASS!".
Wednesday, January 30th 2002 - 01:13:27 PM
Name: "Questioning in Quebec" writes:
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:I would be a member, but like, I thought about it for a minute, you know and like, questioned my belief and all and it made me begin becoming somewhat agnostic about the avocado thing. I reached in a bag and had a taste of Rational Fig Newton Empiricism and it made more sense. Then in one fateful ten or so seconds a revelation came to me about avocados that they really don't taste that bad if I remember right. I mean, I like wouldn't go out of my way to buy any, but that's not to say I won't TOTALLY mooch off of people's guacamole dip at Super Bowl Parties. So my belief ended there so like...NO WAY CRAZY DUDES!!!!!!!!! LOOK INSIDE FOR THE TRUTH!!!!!!!! THE TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Monday, January 28th 2002 - 10:26:22 PM
Name: t. robin
E-mail address: robin_hooda@walla.co.il
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:You're not alone! we in Israel worship the holly avocada* too. please sign me up! *we don't say the name of the holly avocado so we won't profanate it. (blessed, praised and sainted)
Monday, December 24th 2001 - 10:04:30 AM
Name: goober pie
E-mail address: nonlocaluniverse@yahoo.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:i wanna be a pope! this page rocks! i happen to worship paper clips, white out, and exotic fruits (avocado, ugly fruit, kumquaats, etc.) sign me up scotty....
Friday, December 14th 2001 - 01:53:14 PM
Name: Mark Newton
E-mail address: mnewton@plymouth.ac.uk
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:oooh yeah did I say I want to join
Friday, December 14th 2001 - 05:39:06 AM
Name: Mark Newton
E-mail address: mnewton@plymouth.ac.uk
Comments:wher do I start , I have loved avocadoes ver since my mom abused me with one when I was 5 she smothered the creamy flesh all over my young body and now I can get enough wheter it is in fruit form of whetgher its guacamole. damn I just love tho darn avocdos I just want to join your club real bad Mark newton , love of the green wonder ooooh yeah I can smell that sweet flesh now
Friday, December 14th 2001 - 05:38:03 AM
Name: nOT a rETARD
E-mail address: DFFADF@ADJHVCJDA.COM
Homepage URL: http://HHHHH
Comments:yOU ARE ALL CRAZY DERANGED PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN SIT AROUND AND sAY JUNK LIKE "iM THE AVACADO MAN bESIDES AVACADOS ARE NASTY A A A A A A A A A A A AA A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A AA A A A AA A A A A AA A A A AA A A A A A AA AA A A AA A A A A A A A AA A A AA A A A A A A AA A A A A A A A AA A A AA A A A V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V V A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A C C C C C C C C C C C C C C A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A D D D D D D D D D D D D D D D O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O OS S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S S SS S S S S T T T T T T T TT T T T T T T T I I I I I I I I I I I N N N N N N N N N N N K K K K K K K K K K ARE YOU STUPIDE AVACADOS STILL READING THIS COMPLETLEY ABLIVIOUS WELL i CANT SAY WE ARE ALL PERFECT iM A MEMBER OF THE FLAT CAT CLUB tASTES LIKE CHICKEN
Thursday, October 4th 2001 - 08:25:18 PM
Name: Rope Jeremy P. Green I
E-mail address: rope@tapism.com
Homepage URL: http://www.tapism.com
Comments:This site is pretty cool. Everyone visit www.tapism.com.
Wednesday, July 18th 2001 - 03:46:33 PM
Name: Kim
E-mail address: dj_ultraworld@excite.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:i wanna join!!!!!!! i already worship avocados, dude!!!!! and i'm from ca, the land of avacados. i have like three trees!
Saturday, June 9th 2001 - 09:20:57 PM
Name: Sunshine
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:ah, what the hell, sign me on as a member of your greatly esteemed and worthy to be laughed at chruch!!! :P
Monday, March 13th 2000 - 09:23:28 PM
Name: Sunshine
E-mail address: essence2112@aol.com
Homepage URL: http://yeahright
Comments:hey Dan, didn't feel like writing you, so I thought I'd write to your homepage instead. Just for the record, I'm afraid I like guacamole a little too much to join your holy and sacred Church of the Avacado. Catholics do enough weird stuff to make up for that, I guess. If you create a Church of the Casava Melon, I would become an ever faithful member. But I'll offer homage to the Great Avacado in the sky as a penance :):):)
Monday, March 13th 2000 - 09:16:43 PM
Name: DARK STEALTH
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:Die!!!!!!!!!AVACADO SUX!!!!!!
Sunday, March 12th 2000 - 07:24:32 PM
Name: Sunshine
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:Well, crackhead, verrrry intersting. :) to say the least.
Sunday, March 12th 2000 - 06:55:32 PM
Name: Zoey
E-mail address: lovecats5@yahoo.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments: I wanna be in the church of Avocado.....please = (
Friday, March 10th 2000 - 02:16:20 AM
Name: Chickie
E-mail address: bonnika@hotmail.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:danny, you and your friends are freaks! but we've already established that not only am i a freak as well but that i love freaks too...:)
Sunday, January 30th 2000 - 03:59:08 AM
Name: Avocadoman
E-mail address: avocadoman@aol.com avocadoman@rocketmail.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:Greetings Featherless ones.... Beware the Great Avocado will be watching.. remember avocados are our friends and should be viewed as the individuals that they truly are. Avoc
Sunday, January 16th 2000 - 07:48:18 PM
Name: David Kelly
E-mail address: davydd@mozartmail.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:I WOULD like to join your church...but I have a grave sin to confess. Even though I don't really like avocado that much...I have partaken of the sacred fruit on two occasions... 1. Accidentally, during the consumption of my mum's tomato salad. 2. I tried this dip, but I didn't know it was guacamole...I didn't like it...... Are my sins forgivable? How many times must I pray to the Great Lord Avocado? (I'm sorry I ate you, Lord!!!)
Thursday, January 13th 2000 - 11:42:03 AM
Name: Frank
E-mail address: frankf@symphonix.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:You guys have it all wrong. An avocado is to be sacrificed to the deity not protected. And nothing is better after a ritual avocado sacrifice than.....wait for it....Guacamole. All this talk of avocados makes me hungry. Time for a sacrifice. Ugachaca, Ugachaca, Ugachaca. Frank p.s. I can't join a religion that will not allow me to follow the wisdom of the ancients and offer the sacrifice of the tree egg to the gods.
Tuesday, December 21st 1999 - 12:12:26 AM
Name: : ]
E-mail address: HatFlofPrplRoses@aol.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:You're right,who in their right mind would actually want to consume an avocado! yick! Guacamole is gross too. I prefer pears myself. : ] Ohh, and I absolutely hate peaches too; just thought I'd add that. Pears are much better.
Saturday, September 4th 1999 - 12:46:54 AM
Name: Zach
E-mail address: zdh@lanl.gov
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:I would have joined your Church, but I cannot respect anyone who would have me give up the glorious love-child of avocado- guacamole.
Friday, August 27th 1999 - 01:18:33 PM
Name: neil smithies
E-mail address: sacnas@cf.ac.uk
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:you bunch of small minded cunts, everyone knows the peach is the god of all veg and fruit, so there, get some readin done you illiterate twats, or is that illegitimate????
Wednesday, August 18th 1999 - 03:45:54 AM
Name: Kenneth Christensen
E-mail address: kehoch@yahoo.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:I find your church most interesting and admire your sense of humor in establishing it for net surfers such as I to drop by and receive some food for thought if not for the body. I might have been interested in joining your church, but alas I grew up in California where we had orange trees and avocado trees (a.k.a. "Gaucamole Bushes". I fear that I have eaten the fruit of the divine tree and alas enjoyed it greatly. I shall not eat "alligator pears" either by themselves or as guacamole without thinking of you - I now know that what to me is a gastronomic treat is to you a thing to be revered and seek spiritual guidance from - I respect your beliefs and can assure you that I shall see to it that each seed is planted in order that avacados will multiply and become abundant that all might enjoy them in their own way. Kenneth Christensen Greenville, SC
Saturday, July 24th 1999 - 11:16:21 PM
Name: Brandi
E-mail address: knoreuil@sprynet.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:If you are going to stop eating something, for good reason or for no reason at all, why not give up meat? Guacamole is much tastier, it's more fun than flesh and it doesn't bleed. Plus, avacados have kool seeds in the middle that you can play with--throw it, paint a face on it, put it in yer fishtank, catch it on fire and then pour guacamole on it. I don't know, you guys are silly, but I enjoyed reading yer guestbook. I think I'll go have some green stuff now!
Friday, June 25th 1999 - 03:18:44 PM
Name: Brandi
E-mail address: knoreuil@sprynet.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:If you are going to stop eating something, for good reason or for no reason at all, why not give up meat? Guacamole is much tastier, it's more fun than flesh and it doesn't bleed. Plus, avacados have kool seeds in the middle that you can play with--throw it, paint a face on it, put it in yer fishtank, catch it on fire and then pour guacamole on it. I don't know, you guys are silly, but I enjoyed reading yer guestbook. I think I'll go have some green stuff now!
Friday, June 25th 1999 - 03:17:42 PM
Name: avocado-head
Homepage URL: http://
Friday, June 25th 1999 - 03:08:52 PM
Name: Pope Crisco of Dellams
E-mail address: pope_crisco
Homepage URL: http://www.members.home.net/cosm/
Comments:nice, but the church of The Sacred Midget offers a symbol of purity more than the avacado, but we do acknowlage the spirtual powers of the odd fruit. please visit oour small conrgation and give a minute of your day to recgonize our savior, Adoy Behat, the sacred miget
Thursday, June 10th 1999 - 02:08:01 PM
Name: Emmy
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:I love avocados - especially in GUACAMOLE!! I guess that means that I cannot join your church, but I eat guacamole as a tribute to the Great Avocado, not to blasphem Him. It helps me to be more avocado-like in my daily life as I follow the path of the Great One. As He said: "...this is my body, take of it and eat it to nourish you body and soul..."
Tuesday, April 27th 1999 - 11:03:13 AM
Name: Frank Rizzo
E-mail address: brizzowo@niu.edu
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:I worship the avocado eternally!!!!!! ALL HAIL THE AVACADO!! Just think of what a better place this world would be if we would all just bow down and give ourselves to the avacado
Wednesday, April 21st 1999 - 12:09:18 PM
Name: Jenn the Penguin Girl
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:Cool site! If you have some spare time, go to Center for Duck Studies: The premiere resource for finding you Inner Duck. This is not my site, but it is still cool. And remember... THE PENGUINS ARE COMING!!! Mwahahaha!
Sunday, March 28th 1999 - 07:53:31 AM
Name: Damien
E-mail address: st1r_69@hotmail.com
Homepage URL: http://irmo.cjb.net
Comments:Nice page....I want to join your church...(it seems as pointless as the rest!!)
Wednesday, March 10th 1999 - 09:04:51 AM
Name: Aileen Krebs
E-mail address: aileenitcka@mail.utexas.edu
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:Sign me up people!
Wednesday, March 3rd 1999 - 09:22:19 PM
Name: Eve
E-mail address: shpadoinkle_69@yahoo.com
Homepage URL: http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/treyparkerandmattstone
Comments:Oh, great and holy avacado! I throw myselg to my knees and honor thee! I wish to convert from gerbalisim to this great relighion, where I can do what I damn well please! Finally, a god with a sense of kindness towards his followers!
Saturday, February 27th 1999 - 08:02:18 AM
Name: Stoni Sunshine
E-mail address: lsd200@yahoo.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:Oh, yeah, i want in. yes.
Wednesday, February 3rd 1999 - 11:47:51 AM
Name: Stoni Sunshine
E-mail address: lsd200@yahoo.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:The Avocado is the Greatest. No, No this is elegible and only one. Sve the Mother Earth because Avocado lives in it. Passing one passing two live forever take it for ready
Wednesday, February 3rd 1999 - 11:40:03 AM
Name: Meghan
E-mail address: chity99@hotmail.com
Homepage URL: http://www.angelfire.com/mn/Mygan
Comments:Alright, you guys freakin rock! I WANT IN!! =o) Laugh, great page, people!! Meghan
Sunday, January 31st 1999 - 12:07:38 AM
Name: The mighty Glorph
E-mail address: noctem@greenmtn.edu
Homepage URL: ...
Comments:Dan, I almost forgot: GLORPH, YOU SON OF A BITCH! =)
Friday, December 18th 1998 - 04:19:34 AM
Name: The mighty Glorph
E-mail address: noctem@greenmtn.edu
Homepage URL: Soon, my friend, soon...
Comments:The Church of the Avocado... how sad. You poor, poor fools. The way of Glorph is the true path to niftiness! Soon, a new age for The Church of Glorph will begin! As soon as I can get a damn ink cartridge... anyway, Dan, you and your petty followers will be offered a choice, far more generous than that given to any other cult who opposes us: be willingly converted to the Church of Glorph and you will be allowed to retain your pitiful semblance of a religion as a splinter group of my Church, or resist, and be annihlated. Until then, think well upon what I have said, and Glorphspeed!
Friday, December 18th 1998 - 04:14:02 AM
Name: kozzz
E-mail address: kozzz@ntplx.net
Homepage URL: http://members.wbs.net/homepages/k/o/s/kosmic3.html
Comments:I have a half eaten avocado in my fridge. It has turned black and is coated with an interesting fungus. Am I then only half a sinner? If so, which half would repent, and how? Yours truly, awaiting absolution.
Friday, November 27th 1998 - 08:36:08 PM
Name: Howard Snell
E-mail address: bsu43b@bangor,ac.uk
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:Truly, the might and righteousness of the avacado are unparralelled.
Saturday, November 14th 1998 - 04:57:14 AM
Name: E W ((619) 453-2342)
E-mail address: arcturan1@earthlink.net
Homepage URL: http://www.astroconsulting.com/
Comments: Do you believe that life is a "battle"?
Wednesday, November 11th 1998 - 12:16:24 PM
Name: alli
E-mail address: boobooglass@hotmail.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:geez didn't i already sign this thing? i think by now i deserve more than simple membership status...can i be the Official Sacrificial Lamb? I genuinely genuflect at the altar of the great and almighty Avocado. love yall (see, he did it to me too! *heary chuckle*)
Saturday, October 17th 1998 - 01:48:55 PM
Name: Joe Darvas
E-mail address: darvas@mweb.co.za
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:Nice to have met you fellow worshippers. I must, however, confess that I eat avocados. So, what does this make me, a sinner, a lover or just another confused avocado grower ? See you later !
Saturday, September 26th 1998 - 07:13:15 AM
Name: Lisa
E-mail address: Liagala@aol.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:I'd like to join the Church of the Avocado... this thing is great! I'm ROFL!! :-) ~Lisa
Saturday, September 19th 1998 - 07:13:51 AM
Name: Mandy
E-mail address: Mendisedai@aol.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:I wanna join ur church!!
Saturday, September 19th 1998 - 06:24:22 AM
Name: Kevin DeWeese
E-mail address: eeyore@value.net
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:Look at me, pathetic. I've searched my whole life for my place and meaning in this barren world. Indian asceticism, the Waco brotherhood, Republicanism, sending my life savings (all those pennies were expensive to mail) to T.V. prechers, somehow it all left me empty and alone.But now I've seen the light in your inspired doctrine of stuff. I hearby pledge my devotion to your wonderful religion and humbly ask acceptance into your church.
Thursday, September 10th 1998 - 03:44:31 PM
Name: Joey
E-mail address: lennonsgirl@hotmail.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:I want to be a minister!
Sunday, September 6th 1998 - 11:44:45 AM
Name: Ryan
E-mail address: IceNaiad@aol.com
Homepage URL: http://members.aol.com/MistDryad/index.html
Comments:I want to join the church of the Avocado! ::Bowing and groveling before the fruit::
Monday, August 24th 1998 - 06:52:48 PM
Name: Roxanne
E-mail address: SyzygyLuv@aol.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:Hi. I would like to join you in your journey to find peace and greatness within avocados everywhere. I promise to uphold the rules and not to ever make fun of or eat any biproduct of avocado. I was also wondering if I could hold some status in this religion (after all I am giving up all former beliefs in order in becaome a devout member of the church of avocado). Thank you. Praise the almightly avocado!
Wednesday, August 19th 1998 - 11:13:23 AM
Name: His Eminence, the Reverend 'Stone Cold' John Charles McFarland III, Arch-Prefect General of the North American Cayahnate, Worshipper of The Door, Esquire
E-mail address: archprefectgeneral@iname.com
Homepage URL: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Troy/4351
Comments:To the Popes; My name is His Eminence the Reverend 'Stone Cold' John Charles McFarland III, Arch-Prefect General of the North American Cayahnate, Worshipper of The Door, Esquire, representing the Church of the Aluminum Door. Upon careful examination of the Dorble, we have discovered that it was indeed an avocado that was used in 1784 to prevent the Cayu Caylux Caylan from travelling back in time to throw poisoned Halloween candy at The Door. Thus, my discovery of the Church of the Avocado has been determined by His Eminence the Reverend Andrew Jessop, Supreme Mayordomo of the 1st Quartile, Worshipper of The Door that such can be only an act of The Door itself. As such, the Church requests that a limited partnership be organized between our two churches so as better to remember Straczynski, the evil letter "k", and the Avocado of John Jacob Jingle Heimar Schmidt.
Sunday, August 16th 1998 - 02:40:05 AM
Name: Cara Adler
E-mail address: cara@pcipr.com
Homepage URL: http://
Comments:An ode to the Great Avocado Oh! somber in thy armour which gives honor to thy soul Thou stands out among the others in a cluttered silver bowl! Peaches, pears, and apples Combat you for a place Among the honored members Of which thou occupies a space. Oh Great Avocado! Thou art truly holy Symbolizing inner peace And becoming guacomole! The End
Tuesday, August 11th 1998 - 12:11:20 PM
Name: sam
E-mail address: prpic@ponyexpress.net
Comments:Hi. I like misunderstood vegatables and fruits besides the Great Avocado, like eggplants, kumquats, and Monica Lewinsky. I also like unusual fauna, in particular, the platypus.
Tuesday, August 4th 1998 - 08:47:00 PM
Name: Aramaic Karim Barsoom
E-mail address: ihdoewfchekcewhoew
Homepage URL: http://hjchbejhvclewkche;joc
Comments:I want to be a member of the Avocado Worshipper's Chiurch. I am going about amassing memberships to as many wacky fringe-cults as I can, and boy, this looks like a winner. Awrighty, see ya later.
Friday, July 24th 1998 - 11:02:00 AM
Name: Mario andrade
E-mail address: mandrade@wilbur.kemper.org
Comments:i'm a avocado produter from mexico and i want know more about you and wy you put this name
Tuesday, July 14th 1998 - 09:55:00 AM
Name: Blaire
E-mail address: slaparat@aol.com
Homepage URL: http://www.angelfire.com/oh/cohen.html
Comments:I want to join your church. Hail Avocado!
Wednesday, July 1st 1998 - 08:47:00 PM
Name: kris p. critter
E-mail address: luvofjosh@aol.com
Comments:i wanna join! cause i lost my mebership to the catholic church:)
Friday, June 26th 1998 - 01:47:00 PM
Name: Julia
E-mail address: syndii@hotmail.com
Homepage URL: http://evil.ted.dropbear.id.au/~kroll/jace.htm
Comments:Very impressive, when did you make this page? My friends know me as avocado.. but I guess that would be bad to you... oh well.... and here i was thinking that i was alone in the universe in my unnatural attention to avocado.... hrmmf, thats about all from me.... i love this page, and if you want to talk, or disguss the great avocado in more depth, feel free to email me.. cheerio..julia
Monday, June 22nd 1998 - 02:34:00 AM
Name: Stephanie Garneau
E-mail address: ruoncrack@usa.net
Comments:I want to be a member. I desperately seek guidance and wish to submit to every command of the Great Avocado.
Friday, June 12th 1998 - 05:37:00 PM
Name: Sacred Crucified Gummy Bear
E-mail address: SCGB@AOL.com
Homepage URL: http://members.aol.com/scgb/index.html
Comments:we here at the jesus is gay church of the sacred crucified gummy bear absolutely love your web page, but we're terribly afraid that although i'm sure you avacado is a great thing to worship, there is only one true deity, and that is the sacred crucified gummy bear. and remember, crucified gummy bear loves you!
Saturday, March 14th 1998 - 10:13:00 PM
Name: :-)
Comments:Is Anne the only bitch? Come on, Dan. I'm sure you can think of a LOT more bitches than that. Think harder. Oh, and I don't know the Avacado story, but the general idea is kinda cute.
Sunday, March 1st 1998 - 03:25:00 PM
Name: Seth Blinder
E-mail address: blinderseth@hotmail.com
Homepage URL: http://members.tripod.com/~Bushmaster/index.html
Comments:I just want to say, as a founding member from the church of the avacado, that this is an excellent representation of the beauty of our country. And it makes me so happy that im on the verge of tears, and i just want to start crying. And then it makes me want to sing, to sing about the beauties of anal sex and your mom's ass. To sing about climbing mudd hall, and most of all, about oscar and sam, our two lovable friends. seth
Wednesday, February 25th 1998 - 06:16:00 PM
Name: Susanne Huelsmann
E-mail address: shuelsmann@ino.de
Comments:Finally - a religion I feel at home with! You have saved my soul! I offer a prayer to the One Holy Avocado and thank both Pope and Co-Pope with all my heart! Sasu
Wednesday, February 4th 1998 - 02:53:00 PM
Name: Joel Prelog
E-mail address: avo_king@yahoo.com
Comments:I am the true Avocado King of California and the US. Don't ever try to plan a coup against me, you will lose! When you live Avocados as much as I do, then you can talk to me, but not before!
Thursday, January 15th 1998 - 04:39:00 PM
Name: Joel Prelog
E-mail address: avo_king@yahoo.com
Comments:I am the true Avocado King of California and the US. Don't ever try to plan a coup against me, you will lose! When you live Avocados as much as I do, then you can talk to me, but not before!
Thursday, January 15th 1998 - 04:37:00 PM
Name: Mooack
Comments:I mean what I say...BE NICE TO SQUIRRELS!!!!!!!! YOU GOT IT DANNY BOY!!!
Tuesday, December 9th 1997 - 04:41:00 PM
Name: Mooack
Comments:Okay Okay Okay!!! STOP CRITICIZING SQURRELS THEY MAKE BETTER GACOMOLE THEN AVACADOS ANY DAY!! SO THERE!!!
Tuesday, December 9th 1997 - 03:18:00 PM
Name: The Great Flying Toaster!
Comments:I am from a rival religion, the great JALAPENO WORSHIPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We now wage war on you!!! Let the Holy Wars begin!!!!!!!! by the way Jefferson airplane loves you!! Not!!
Tuesday, December 9th 1997 - 03:15:00 PM
Name: Pope
Comments:What's wrong with squirrels?!!!!!!!! I happen to think they're cool little fuzzy things who occasionally overheat your engine. My pet squirrel much dislikes your rude comments. He and I both like avacados, thank you very much. Mashed up squirrels make good guacamole too! Charlie Parker rocks.
Tuesday, December 9th 1997 - 03:11:00 PM
Name: Ghengis Jazzman
Comments:Guacamole rocks. Mmmm Mmmm good.
Tuesday, December 9th 1997 - 03:01:00 PM
Name: Rev.Tiffany
E-mail address: Ratleo 3@aol.com
Comments:Dear sir and madam i am the founder of the Church of the Synthetic Avocado,the Church has been around for about 3 years and boasts approx 34 members.we have some sort of similarity, we not only praise the lusty avocado but also its counter part The Avocado princess Kathryn.The worship of the almighty Avocado should be taken as seriously as possible for the rath of the princess and her beloved counter part the Avocado(Hass or Pinkerton) is nothing to joke about. i am informing you to heed this as a warning, for your life is now in danger just for joking around about our sacred lord and master i will e-mail you soon.
Friday, December 5th 1997 - 02:55:00 PM
Name: Becki Stoken
E-mail address: bsdaisy@hotmail.com
Comments:I would like to become a member of the Church of the Avocado for the following reasons: 1. My friends are in it. Debbie is the original member. She brought me to this webpage, telling me how great it was. It was good. Also, Kim and Kelli are members. 2. I hate guacamole. And not just to please the "Great Avocado" you speak of. I just hate it. 3. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one worshipping exotic fruits. Being in a church of avocado-worshippers makes me feel more at ease. I solemnly swear never to eat guacamole. Thank you.
Thursday, December 4th 1997 - 12:47:00 PM
Name: Kelli Austin
E-mail address: lindaaustin@hotmail.com
Comments:Hi, I want to join the church! I heard about you from Debbie! Oh, and by the way........I HATE SQUIRRELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have many tramas involving psyco squirrels! They love to run in front of cars and I love to hit them! I' m looking forward to the holy war! Anyway, I can't wait to join - bye!
Wednesday, December 3rd 1997 - 03:40:00 PM
Name: Keebi, Queen of the Elves
E-mail address: keebi@hotmail.com
Homepage URL: http://www.angelfire/keebiworld/index.com
Comments:I want to join the Church of the Avacado!!! I am Kim, friend of Debbie. I agree with you completely Pope Dan (Dan #3), Deb is a malicious bitch! But I love her anyway. She has a pool table and big screen tv. I love the Church of the Avacado. And congradulations on using the word "Y'all." I'm in PA (originally from NC) and every time I use that word people laugh at me! But it's a cool word and more people should use it. Deb is sending me a copy of the yellow shirt story. I can't wait to get it. Have phun being co-pope! Luv, Keebi, Queen of the Elves
Sunday, November 30th 1997 - 07:29:00 PM
Name: Larry Moy
E-mail address: Moy@afp76.humc.edu
Comments:I have found interesting uses for the Great Avocado. How do I get recognition for being a member? I bet I have enough info to be a lay minister.
Sunday, November 16th 1997 - 08:57:00 PM
Name: Pope Katherine
E-mail address: eilonwy@earthling.net
Homepage URL: http://members.aol.com/etoile1999/
Comments:I am a co-owner of this not so fine establishment. Long live the great avocado!
Monday, October 13th 1997 - 04:22:00 PM
Name: Lauren Rendulic
Comments:
Saturday, October 11th 1997 - 02:27:00 PM
Name: Mike
E-mail address: PrplPuding@AOL.com
Homepage URL: http://members.aol.com/PrplPuding/PrplPuding.html
Comments:That's my friend Jerry, above. I was also a part of the church of the avocado, but he seems to have left out quite a bit of what went on (be sure to ask him about the Holy Handbrush and the many avocado sacrifices).
Saturday, October 11th 1997 - 12:35:00 PM
Name: Debbie Miller
E-mail address: p_ot_yellwshirt@hotmail.com
Comments:I absolutely love this page! Its my all-time favorite. (That may have something to do with my name being mentioned, and the fact that I love you guys!) Hope to keep in touch with y'all! (See the effect you're having on my writing Dan #3?!)
Friday, October 10th 1997 - 01:56:00 PM
Name: Jeremy
E-mail address: avocado@tamu.edu
Comments:Wow...back in highschool I had started a church of the avocado...long since lost interest since the other four members all went their separate ways...Before I had though I was the only one who was this demented/or was blessed to speak with the Avocado...now I can rest easy knowing there are others. (The e-mail is not a gag)
Wednesday, October 8th 1997 - 05:33:00 PM
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