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| Name: | krith |
| E-mail address: | adamgilcrist13@yahoo.com |
| Homepage URL: | http://inspire-itsolutions.com |
| Comments: | I took a look at your site and recommend it to my visitors. I agree with you on the importance of becoming valuable in many different areas. I believe that it sustains any entrepreneur during challenges that inevitably occur.
--------- Krith Get your site listed in the major directories the original concept behind the Page Rank system was to try to highlight the websites that are really valuable, and offer something unique to the Internet. We publish the content about your product and service with a link to your website on a variety of highly related and visited web Directory. |
| Name: | andrew |
| E-mail address: | andrewsymonds19@yahoo.com |
| Homepage URL: | http:// http://www.alcoholabusecenter.com |
| Comments: | If you are a drug addict and if need to recover from addiction
attend some rehab programs.which will relieve you from mental stress. ---------------------------------------------- andrew Alcohol abuse affects millions. This site has a lot of useful information. Alcohol Abuse |
| Name: | Analyn |
| E-mail address: | inday@work-at-home-parents.org |
| Homepage URL: | http:// http://www.treatmentcenters.org |
| Comments: | Our body needs alcohol.It's affect bad side if we abuse this. anything around us need balance in order that our body will not harm.
Through this i can gather more information about alcoholism. Thanks to be one of you!!! _______________________ ann Suffering from an addiction. This website has a lot of great resources and treatment centers. http://www.treatmentcenters.org |
| Name: | suhas |
| E-mail address: | suhas88@live.com |
| Homepage URL: | http://www.addictiontreatment.net |
| Comments: | Addiction treatment and recovery resources for the addict and their families.
http://www.addictiontreatment.net |
| Name: | suhas |
| E-mail address: | suhas88@live.com |
| Homepage URL: | http://www.addictiontreatment.net |
| Comments: | i am a new comer to your site.
i enjoyed.......... keep in touch with me. suhas Addiction treatment and recovery resources for the addict and their families. http://www.addictiontreatment.net |
| Name: | jackspar |
| E-mail address: | jackspar@live.com |
| Homepage URL: | http://www.addictiontreatment.net |
| Comments: | Its interesting to see the importance of music in therapeutic relaxation process.
- Jackspar Addiction treatment and recovery resources for the addict and their families. http://www.addictiontreatment.net |
| Name: | quaddaemon |
| E-mail address: | avion_wc003@yahoo.com |
| Homepage URL: | http://www.addictionrecovery.net |
| Comments: | Comprehensive resources for those looking for recovery from addiction. http://www.addictionrecovery.net |
| Name: | John Parr |
| E-mail address: | clubvikram@clubvikram.in |
| Homepage URL: | http://www.alcoholaddiction.org |
| Comments: | a great platform to help people who are suffering or has somebody in the family suffering from an addiction. wish there are more people and resources to help addicts.
JWP ---------- This is a comprehensive addiction portal focusing on topics of alcohol and drug abuse. http://www.alcoholaddiction.org |
| Name: | ANTHANETTE HARPER |
| E-mail address: | BLESSME0620@AOLCOM |
| Comments: | CAN YOU PLEASE SEND ME THE FREE BOOK BECAUSE OF WHAT IVE BEEN THROUGH IN MY MARRIAGE AND I NEED TO BE EMPOWERED AFTER THE SEPARATION OF BEING MARRIED FOR 18 YEARS.
THANK YOU, ANTHANETTE HARPER |
| Name: | Theresa |
| E-mail address: | domenicsmum@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | Hello,
I received you book in June this year (2007) and have just finished reading it. I would like to thank you for all of the advice, but more importantly for me, the validation that what I was going through was not "all in my head" and that it was not ALL my fault. I learned that trying to change my boyfriend's drinking was not going to work nor was it my place to do so. I also learned that some of my behaviours may have made my situation worse, but that it is not an abnormal thing to happen in an alcoholic relationship. I am now a few days out of my alcoholic relationship and I am working very hard to put my life back together again. I have not had contact of any type with my ex for almost a week now. Every day is a challange not to call to see how he's doing and to make sure he is not contemplating suiside (again). When things get really tough I open your book and read a few pages, talk to a friend or try to busy myself with things that I can take charge of. It seems as though accomplishing an unfinished task works well with me. Even though I am strong, I have one problem I can not seem to work through. All my belongings are still in the house (I left the house). I don't know how I am going to be strong enough to go get my belongings. I have friends that will come with me, but I still think it will be a few steps back emotionally and I don't want to go there. Is there anyone that has any suggestions? Thank you so much for all of your words of encouragement. We are strong!!! We shall prevail!!! Theresa ------------------- Hi Theresa, I tried to email you this, but your email address is incorrect. I don't know if you'll see this or not, but thank you for your nice comments! As far as your question about getting your belongings, you have a couple of choices: 1. You can not ever get them and chock it up to experience. 2. You can get them immediately. 3. You can get them later. If you decide to get them, then remember my Now or Later Rule: You can take care of it now and get it behind you, or you can suffer longer, grow stronger, and experience any potential set back later. If you have things there you want to get, then grab a friend and go get them, preferably when he is not there. You may also want to join the discussion forum. The link is on the main website. I hope this helps. Keep up the great work! Doug |
| Name: | jean |
| E-mail address: | jconant@interstateappraisal.com |
| Comments: | hi i have read your book and found it amazing, i am out of the relationship, but not sure where to go from here, i still love him and miss him, in my case though he is in recovery and has been for 5yrs he just this year made his 1yr medalion(slips 1-2 a yr). but i think he's a dry drunk still dysfunctional. i still think maybe someday we can get back together, we still talk he loves me would do anything for me, jerk says so much but then actions show me different i am confused we have been apart 31/2 m and after 2m he married a woman he started to date 2 days after he left (i know he was talking to her before and she is a big part of why he left) still am stupid enough to think these are just learning lessons god has planned for us to get us to the point were we can have a healty relationship in the future no one else agrees w/me, they say run. i can't seem to fully let go HELP!!!!! where do i go from here, i have been reading so much an have become way healthier started to create and enforce boundaries, i just loved your book i had no idea about so much stuff especially feeling and how to deal with them. i was never taught, i am the family hero, miss fix it. never take care of me just everyone else, i am changing that, learning much about me, i just don't know what my next step is or where to go from here i am lost any advice??
--------- Hi Jean, Yes, join the discussion forum. The link is on the main website. You'll get advice there. |
| Name: | Linda |
| E-mail address: | WestieLC@aol.com |
| Comments: | You and your book saved my life and helped me to realize the truth that AL-NON could not...Only I can take back my life and only I can to decide to live or sit and watch myself waste away. Thank you Linda |
| Name: | Price Shearn |
| E-mail address: | pricearizona@aol.com |
| Comments: | I can't tell you how uplifting it is to hear I'm not alone. My ex-wife (the mother of my two grown children) was, and I think still is, an alcoholic who is still in denial and still drinking. I left her when I couldn't get any help or even acknowledgement of the problem by her family, whom we lived by. They had, and still do, have the "ostrich syndrome" (stick your head in the ground and maybe the problem will just go away). Well, it didn't, and it doesn't. I tried to get legal custody of my kids but she could put on such a good front (sober) I didn't prevail. Anyway, thankfully I am married to a terrific woman and life now is better than I could have even dreamed. I pray for those (both men and woman) who are currently enduring a relationship with an addict - it's more than anyone should have to experience.
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| Name: | Sue |
| E-mail address: | eggertfam@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | Thank you to you both for this information. Without it I was lost and floundering in a sea of information for the alcoholic and abuser. I have been reading and re-reading your book and learning from this information for about a year. I have passed the information on to a few others who will also benefit. You literally saved my life with this information. |
| Name: | Anna |
| Comments: | Doug and Tracy,
I want to thank you for this wonderful website. Today is November 7, 2006. I registered on the webiste on November 29, 2005. Without it, I would have not found the support and courage from others in similar situations. I finally found the courage to get out after the pain became to much to bare. I am taking it day by day, but it is soooooo much better without the daily pain and angst. Thank you, Anna |
| Name: | kay pearce |
| E-mail address: | kaypearce@sunet.com.au |
| Comments: | Today is my 23rd wedding anniversary. I am now only fully realising that my marriage has been a codependant one. My husband is an alcoholic with depression. We live an emotional nightmare of broken promises and emotional guilt baggage. I am wanting to break free but feel trapped by lack of financial independance and wanting to protect my children from the inevitable pain that will follow. The problem is that my husband is a good father when he's not drinking - he also works hard to support us. But he is damaged and incapable of seeing any joy in life - he blame others for all his problems and refuses to commit to change. How can I break free? |
| Name: | Kadi Flynn |
| E-mail address: | kadi@sti.net |
| Comments: | The information here is so clear and informative. I am just now, at age 53, realizing I am a codependent. Learning what I must change to live a healthy life is a very scary thought. I am feeling certain I must let go of my present relationship start over, again! |
| Name: | mojo |
| E-mail address: | mec618@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | I have learned so much from this site. I started dating a guy that I also thought was "too good to be true." We really do get along great, but I knew that in his past he had lost his business and family due to alcoholism. When I met him he told me he had been sober for 4 years. That turned out to be the first of many lies as 9 months into our relationship he started drinking again and doing drugs. He kept lying about it so much that I thought I was going crazy. He already has had his driver's license revoked for life due to prior DUI's so during this time I was driving him everywhere besides working full time. After reading from Empowered Recovery, I kicked him out but he still calls me every day or stops by my house for any crazy reason he can think of. He's called all my friends telling them how much he loves me and wants me back. I now have to be really strong because I am a true "martyr" who will put my own feelings last not to hurt someone else's and then it makes me sick that I'm not strong when it comes to protecting myself. I have gotten rid of him physically, I just want emotional freedom! |
| Name: | DeDe Miller |
| E-mail address: | korrmeister@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | To say thank you is a definite understatement to ER. I feel that for the first time in my life, I can actually breathe. I am an adult child of an alcoholic that has painfully tried to rewrite a past I couldnt stop from happening. I believed that I could save whomever was the new addict, to address not saving my parent in the past.
I realized with your help the best way to save someone on a path to self destruction is to exercise first the right to save myself. I don't have to accept Alcoholic behavior, as my norm, my responsibility as a non alcoholic. Now as I have made a choice, I realize so have they. This acceptance, this admission is so freeing, clarifying and enlightening, its as if the gift of sight became mine for the the first time in 40years. This is truly undescribeable. Thank you. ddm |
| Name: | Audrey B. |
| E-mail address: | jeepbaby95@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | Thank You so much for this site! I ran across it about 3 weeks ago. I have learned so much. It's nice to know, that someone else out there, knows exactly how I'm feeling. I've been married to my husband the alcoholic for 25 yrs., and after reading your book, I realize , that I can't change him. I can't make him stop drinking. And that it's his choice to drink. It's time (way overdue) to get out of this relationship. I'm now waiting (not to long) for the right time to bring up, that I want out. I now see that nothing is going to change. And that all these years, our troubles always come back to the drinking. He says , that he'll stop and does so, for a couple of weeks, but then its right back to the same thing. And I'm tired of it. Today is my 46 Birthday and I'm ready for change! A GOOD CHANGE! in my life. I'm so glad, that I read your book, its given me some strength and I've done alot of thinking, and I know that I'm tired of his drinking, I'm tired of the name calling, I'm tired of feeling mad all the time,I'm tired of worrying about him driving home drunk, and being in an accident, I'm tired of him spending alot of his paycheck on beer first and bills second, I could go on with more, but I'll stop there. I've looked at my life, 5-10 yrs. down the road, and I don't like what I see!, the same stuff thats wrong now and not changed will all be the same then. And no I don't like it. So I know, its time for me to have Peace in my life and find some happiness. I feel like being selfish, (I guess you could say)I just want to take care of myself, for a change. Agsin, Thank You for your book.
Audrey B. |
| Name: | Denise |
| E-mail address: | deniselieb20032003@yahoo.com |
| Comments: | I found this site two days after I kicked out my alcoholic boyfriend. It has been a rough road, but after reading your e-book I have found the strenght to cut off all communication.
The resembalence of the stories I read to my ex relationship is uncanny. Thank you for providing the most helpful info on surviving the alcoholic relationship I have ever read. I feel I can truly move on in my new life!!!!!!!!! |
| Name: | Jerry Sullivan |
| E-mail address: | gsullivan2b@aol.com |
| Comments: | Sir:
At last, some common sense sanity. AA and Al-Anon are frauds and extremely harmful cults. If not for free will and personal responsibity, humans are no more than cabbages. Thanks. |
| Name: | Paul |
| E-mail address: | john_cox942@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | i am currently helping my brother who is an alcoholic, doctor has told him his liver is stuffed, totally, but he cant stop drinking and the dryout centre/rehab, are all full and too much of a waiting list.
So i am doing it myself with herbal tea, anxiety pills, etc and i will just try keep him busy. If anybody can help me with any further information or other ways of helping him please feel free to email me with any suggestion, emasil address is john_cox942@hotmail.com thank you and i will very much so appreciate any further help or support that i can get. thank you all Paul |
| Name: | Linda |
| E-mail address: | camillilj@hotmail.co.uk |
| Comments: | You have confirmed my fears and dreams in one visit. Thank you for the reality. Linda x |
| Name: | Anne |
| E-mail address: | muderfer@yahoo.com |
| Comments: | Hi! I'm new at this. I really like what I've read so far. I have tried Alanon and councling and Domestic Violence services and have recieved more insight in just two days on this sight, thank you. |
| Name: | Regina |
| E-mail address: | amishchic@hotmmail.com |
| Comments: | I have been reading the posts daily, your site has helped me very much understand the A and myself. I also attend counceling and have told my therapist about this site. Again I must thank you for the help I haave received just reading that I am not alone. I have read many many books and yours is the best on this subject. I am no longer a co dependent. The A can do as he pleases and I can do what makes me happy. I feel so much better in the past month after signing up on empowwered recovery. |
| Name: | Lynn from Toronto Canada |
| E-mail address: | lynnsherwin215@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | Found this site using a Google search, ' alcoholic relationships"
(after not finding the answers I needed from Al-Anon, ) I am fifty this year, with four long term alcoholic relationships behind me, one of them, the first, produced a son. I would average three years per relationship, sense a problem and move on, painfully so, and (sigh) hook up with yet another alcoholic. Couldn't seem to break the cycle, grew up with alcoholism in the family, maternal side, and have learned to be very codependant. I have found this site to be very informative, has answered many of my questions, and uncovered many of my fears , which has given me hope, to change the course of my life. Am in the middle of breaking things off with my latest three year relationship, which started out larger than life, 'to good to be true'. and it was, too good to be true. Red flags showed early, which i chose to deny, and rationalize, abuse escalated, nothing physical, since my brother is in the police force, (the drinker told me, that's why he didn't hit me) Verbal, emotiaonl abuse, sexual, abuse, being held hostage, controlled , brain washed, every thing was there. all of the signs of more danger ahead. I remember having days where I would think well, maybe it won't be so bad to give up my freedom card, for the (false) sense of security I had with this man. I was angry alot, but didn't know why, depressed, and worn out to the point of collapse. I sought help everywhere, I did in fact collapse, last summer, which was the start of my decision to leave, go back, leave, go back, Am doing better at staying away these days. He still calls and it's wearing me down, I don't answer, and have turned the call answer service off, I am hanging on by the skin of my teeth. (not calling) I know , that to call him will start the dance all over again. That's why I am here, to learn, learn, learn. I have tried Al-ANon, but, for ages couldn't get past the fact that Al-anon is patterned after AA, and ,the 'moronic' phrase, "keep Coming Back" to any of my questions irritated me to no end. Keep Coming Back, hearing the same stories over and over, sometimes new ones, leaving the meettings feeling more upset than ever. and feeling sorry for the Drinker, Sorry, I am tired and rambling, I am hanging on, trying so hard to keep denial at bay, past the pain of the loss, more or less, since things were, becoming so hard, and so, sick. Imagine being called over for week-ends, of couch sitting , sexual aggression, and house work, all in the name of 'love', then being told you and your family are all eff ups, and this girl and that at the bar want him, even having young girls my sons age phoning him and he, in turn lie to me about it. To my face. Things like this, started the beginning of the end. He promised the moon, and gave me alot of heart ache, Mentioned Marriage, etc. talked of many great things, but, nothing came to pass, all my fault he would say, all my fault. ( I used to believe him too, till I got smart, and broke out of my isolation) Any way, this is so looong, I have alot to learn alot I need and want to learn, to progress, and to live a healthy peace filled life. On that note, I shall sign off, Thank you Tracey and Doug, for all of your hard work in bringing a site that is educational into fruition. Lynn in Toronto Canada. |
| Name: | Cheryl "Charley" |
| E-mail address: | chermar0012@yahoo.com |
| Comments: | I have been searching for a solution - Ive tried the "try to fix" for the last 2 years. So rapidly, everything was falling apart. I found it here, I cant thank you enough. I feel like Im now in a ray of hope - I feel so good about myself. Me and my children are at a fresh start, a new beginning, a new life. I must also admit, That moment in my life was a life lesson. I continue to watch my future steps and walk away from co-depenancy. I Thank you again. We all, including you, have been blessed. |
| Name: | Levetta |
| E-mail address: | taylor4087@bellsouth.net |
| Name: | John Garofalo |
| E-mail address: | jgarofalj@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | I am single dad with custody of two teen boys.... My wife or I should say soon to be x is a alcoholic drug addict.... I now starting to realize the frredom I now have away from the abusive addictions world.... Me and the children feel a much calmer, more stable atmosphere... I loved my wife deeply but her condition worsen over the years.... She now lives with the town drunk.... She completly gave up on seeing her children... I have tried to to make it as normal as possible for the boy's but sometimes the burden can be overwhelming... for the most part the children have adapted... Life is full of many test... I do not hate the addict, she carries a lot of guilt and anger... I know she does not intentionally direct it toward my but I for sure have become her punching bag.... Truth is I just laugh at it now..... Its a shame that lives so easly could end by a simple substance that is placed into ones body..... I chose to remeber my wife the way she was before her addiction took control of her, my son's look at their mom the same way..... I also look at the addict as the walking dead, hope my kids do not see their mom that way !!! I think everyone on this site knows what I mean when I say that the transformation of the addict is so unreal, so hurtful that words can not fully describe the feeling, the lose...... I know there is a reason for all, I know there is a master plan to why families are ask to sacrifice so much.... Thanks for the site |
| Name: | Lynda Appell |
| E-mail address: | fennel@groovynet.every1.net |
| Homepage URL: | http://mayapple.ms11.net |
| Comments: | I submitted a request for a reciprocal linking. If you like I can add your site www.empoweredrecovery.com to the addictions page of my site. http://mayapple.ms11.net/addict.htm.
My site like yours, is comprehensive, caring. Title of my site is "DisABILITY Info" I am a disabled disability activist near Phila,PA. |
| Name: | Angela Clark |
| E-mail address: | psychmaj30@msn.com |
| Comments: | I am so greatful that I found this website. I now realize that there are other people just like me in a alcoholic relationship. I want to leave so bad but my finances won't let me. I have been in an alcoholic relationship for the last past 16 years. I am soooooooo! sick and tired of his lies, broken promises, and never ending changes. His drinking has changed my life so. I am not myself anymore. I feel like I am a hostage sometimes in this situation with no way out. I care for him, but I am no longer in love with him. He has permenantly changed that. I do not trust him at all. I know that there has to be more to life than this. I have never been to hell, but this life seems like I am not far from it. It seems like this is a curse, or omen over my family. He refuses to get him, calls in to work making up lies without thinking about providing for me and the kids. I hate my life right now and I want to live and be happy again. I wish everyone here the best of luck and many blessings alcoholic or non-alcoholic MAY GOD BE WITH US ALL! |
| Name: | Linda |
| E-mail address: | Camillilj@aol.com |
| Comments: | You switched the light on for me and now I can see clearly, thank you. x |
| Name: | Cyndy |
| E-mail address: | cyndyc_60@msn.com |
| Comments: | I stumbled upon this site, and started crying ..I have been in an alcoholic relationship for the last 3 years, married 2.. I for such a long time blamed myself, for his fits of anger, starting to believe his comments and put downs. I became weaker, less confident, nervous all the time, and my old happy self was gone. I am trying to pull myself together, and plan my "new" future. Its is very difficult, since he has been nice, apologizing, and trying to make it better. I know it won't last, and it is the usual broken promises.. I hope to completely be able to be the strong woman I used to be and make the right decisions |
| Name: | David |
| E-mail address: | david_g_hood@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | Hi Doug,
Thankyou for your wonderful website. The ideas within have truly helped me to clarify many of things I've been dwelling over regarding my marriage to an alcoholic. After two roller coaster years of broken promises and heartbreak I left my wife a month ago. I can see now how my behaviour enabled her to continue drinking but deep down I know that I'm not responsible for her problems. I guess if I'd come across your website sooner I might have had the tools to move our relationship forward but I guess at this point I'm just too tired and have had enough of such a one sided marriage. Such is life. What I am very grateful for is the sense of closure reading your website has brought me regarding my feelings and what actually happened in the relationship. I must say, I was a silly fool. Also, you bill of rites has been useful as a beginning for me to reaffirm my individual personal identity and as a guide on how I'd like to be treated. I feel like the individual me had been swallowed up in that extremely stressful relationship so I'm now looking forward to concentrating on me and really enjoying it. Thankyou for being so frank. It is much appreciated. |
| Name: | Mike |
| E-mail address: | mike |
| Comments: | Hi.
Thanks for helping me see what is real. I've been in counseling for over a year and I am in an alcoholic relationship. I had no life for 4 years. I sat and listened to it all, lived through it all and with the help of my counseler and especially this course I was able to help myself. I learned to set boundries and continue to live with them. I'm so grateful to be able to do the things I want to do and still have my partner as well. It's just different in that I no longer am a slave to my house or to this relatioship. I allow it to be as it can be and evaluate whether it makes sense every so often. It's funny that the other person, the alcoholic, is beginning to see the truth of his drinking. We'll see what happens, but in the mean time I know that what you have to say is absolutely true and the truth will set you free. Thanks for all the hit me between the eyes insight and rules that make me able to function with such a disfunction in my life. - Mike |
| Name: | Anne |
| E-mail address: | anneste@msn.com |
| Comments: | Hi Doug,
I too am empowered from within by your efforts to inform, relate, and instruct those of us in need of Empowered Recovery. Since reading only the "What is Empowered Recovery" and "Precepts of..." I feel awash in validation for my sometimes torturous sometimes glorious codependent/alcoholic relationship; I feel waves of passionate gratefulness to have found you, your Web site, and your keenly temperate and talented inditing nature. Words cannot describe the clarity that your approach has given me thus far. Lucidity has been ethereal, and just out of reach for me for so long. I truly appreciate having found the window to your Web site, and you. Thank you, AnneSte Seattle, WA |
| Name: | Michele |
| E-mail address: | myst_always@yahoo.com |
| Comments: | I found this site by accident, or so I thought. After reading "How the Weapons of the Alcoholic Impact", I realized it had to be something other than an accident. I am a survivor of a 15 yr marriage to an alcoholic whom I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I lived the last 11 yrs thinking he was going to "get it" any time now. Two years of weekly counseling for myself & a year now for the children have helped us cope with devastation of the emotional abuse and dysfunction we endured. It also helped in realizing that his denial was far stronger than my ability to cope. I do, however, think the past 2 yrs have helped prepared me for the impact this article just had on me. My struggle was worse than some, but not nearly as bad as others. And just like I learned in al-anon, it didn't stop with the divorce. My children and myself must still cope with the effects of a life of chaos. The alcoholic no longer lives with us, he's already remarried in fact. But the turmoil continues. We live each day counting how far we've come, sometimes in hourly increments. But, I don't regret a thing. I did what I thought was best until I realized it just wasn't going to work anymore, like many others have. Now I do what I know is best for the children and myself.
What I've noticed is that the hardest part of all was that I truly loved the alcoholic and it took me a very long time to realize how one-sided it was. For the sake of my children, I pray he gets help, stops hiding in denial and makes a positive change aimed at living an honest existence. He once had the potential to be a wonderful human being. I heard many times in al-anon how I wasn't alone in this journey, but in going through it myself I found it to be a lonely, profoundly sad road. Even now I live with the continued effects because "it ain't over yet". This site gave me reassurance that I'm really not alone. To read the words in that article and finally feel as if there was someone reading my mind and my emotions was an encouragement like I've not felt in years. Thank you so much! To all those still in it I'd just like to say that not all end up like mine as I'm sure you already know. My wish is that you find your own answer and know peace, whatever decision you make. |
| Name: | Stephanie W |
| E-mail address: | slstorm69@wmconnect.com |
| Comments: | You know, we always hear that we are not the only ones going through things,i.e., living with an alcoholic. Information you get is usually the same. I think AA is a great program, but I feel that ER is the best site that I have come across on the web. I have lived with an alcoholic for 5 years. In that 5 years, I have completed college, began a career (ironically in social services), moved into a house (from the "projects"), and somehow have managed to have this alcoholic shadow me through it all. In every success that I achieved, he was not happy for me--it was obvious. The day I graduated from college, I came home shouting, "I'm done!" "I'm done!" His response was "I heard you the first time." At my graduation party it was as if he had to force a congratulatory attitude to come out. I could see he was jealous of me. Then when I got a job that trippled my income, oh, he really acted intimidated. Needless to say, through it all, I have managed to "put up with him" because I thrive on "drama." I grew up with sexual and physical abuse in my family and a mother who always "really needed a man" in her life. I grew up hungry for love and looked for it in all the wrong places. I am finally strong enough to let go of this sick disease and grow emotionally and spiritually. I know that this has not been healthy for me--hell! I am losing hair right now! I joke, but I am. Thank God for those wig makers! I wish everyone strength in realizing that they are special and that no one deserves to be the target of an alcoholics self-pity. |
| Name: | jwish |
| E-mail address: | vjwish@bellsouth.net |
| Comments: | I am in denial and I think I can handle it myself.
I love drinking. OTher people need to seek help not me. |
| Name: | Ms Hogan |
| Comments: | Glad you are taking the time to give hope to those living with alcholics and tring to make it. It is incredibly hard with the ones who can "do this on my own" attitude! |
| Name: | Doug Kelley |
| E-mail address: | doug@dougkelley.com |
| Homepage URL: | http://www.EmpoweredRecovery.com |
| Comments: | Hi Ginger, I don't know if you'll see this, but you may want to check out what services are available in your area, such as abuse shelters or women's shelters. You may be surprised how many people are willing to help IF you ask and IF you are willing to make changes. But don't ask others to do what you should do for yourself. This is not easy, but you can do it. Please read the articles on Empowered Recovery if you haven't already. You can also join our online group. My best to you. Doug |
| Name: | Ginger |
| E-mail address: | cty99189@centurytel.net |
| Comments: | I,too am living with an acholic. He says and does things he does not remember every night,365 days a year. He starts at 9 am and doesnt stop until 12 pm or later. I am trying to get away,but he has total control of my every day survival. I am unable t work due to complications from cancer treatments and have to ask him for every dime I need. I just need t know how I can get away. |
| Name: | Katherine |
| E-mail address: | Katherine310@yahoo.com |
| Comments: | I would just like to say. I am perfect at being myself.
I was really touched at reading your book. Thank you for reminding me that I am perfectly entitled to make my own mistakes. I can honesly say that leaving my alcoholic husband was the best decision I ever made. My husband had been hiding so much of his drinking from me, I really had no idea how bad it was. I left when I realised that all the dramas he had, were just an excuse to drink more, and more importantly, there was nothing I could do about it. |
| Name: | Doug Kelley |
| E-mail address: | doug@empoweredrecovery.com |
| Homepage URL: | http://www.EmpoweredRecovery.com |
| Comments: | Dear Mrs. Smith, Thank you for your kind remarks! I am so happy you found value in ER. You are the reason I do this! Doug Kelley, founder of ER |
| Name: | Mrs Smith |
| Comments: | This is an excellent site. Finally after being married to an alcoholic for 11 yrs, I have accepted that he is an alcoholic and that there is nothing I can do about that. I have tried everything, worked myself into the ground trying to solve this problem, finally I accept that everything I have done over the past 10 yrs has simply enabled his behaviour.
I do not know whether my H will truly commit to getting help, this week he has said he will but saying and doing are different things as I know only too well. But for the first time I acknowledge that I have played a part in where we are and I am no longer going to play that part. I will support my H as much as I can should he decide to seek professional help. Just a personal word about alanon. I am not a religious person so alanon simply doesn't speak to me at all. As a co-dependent I also knew that I was not powerless in the face of the alcohol, I knew it was not my problem and I could walk away from it - this site is just what I needed to see, it all speaks to me so clearly Thank you so much for being here Mrs Smith |
| Name: | mumuene ngbada |
| E-mail address: | ngbada@yahoo.com |
| Comments: | fantastic site for guy men. |
| Name: | annette |
| E-mail address: | AnnettRobins@adp.com |
| Comments: | I am married to an acholic and It is tearing me apart, I just don't know what to do. I have tried aa and everything.
I even stopped his friends but that don't help because it is not them and I know it. I need the help to know when to stop trying and get divoriced. I need help. |
| Name: | Dr. Jim Tatum |
| E-mail address: | Dr_Jim14@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | It seems that all of this information is one sided and a personal vendetta towards AA, Al-Anon and the alcoholic in general. I am not an alcoholic, but I am the counselor for an alcoholic affected by this program. I am not saying that this site will not help with the extreme difficulties of an alcoholic relationship, but from what I have read it is completely biased. It does not seem to take into account what the alcoholic goes through. She is not right, but in no way should suffer the “12 Steps” that Mr. Kelley has created. I do not know the full story, but am eager to find out what it is all about.
NOTE BY DOUG KELLEY: It is evident that Dr. Tatum has not read the ER Website. ER is NOT a "12-Step Program." It is real-life advice from someone who has lived the horrors of two alcoholic relationships. I stand firmly by what I've written. I also have discovered that the good doc is the father-in-law of someone who benefitted greatly from ER, and is an alcoholic himself, despite his own denial, hence, his opposition to ER. |
| Name: | Ron Wilcox |
| E-mail address: | Rwilcox@Intercept.net |
| Comments: | Thanks for the website. I have just ended an eighteen month relationship with an alcoholic. At this point I am still very angry and it helps to know that I know I am not alone.
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