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| Comments: | for cutting.......where does one go for counselling? a cousellor?phyclogist or phyciatrist? |
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| E-mail address: | notannlanders@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | where does one go for counselling? a cousellor?phyclogist or phyciatrist? |
| Name: | *ME* |
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| Comments: | I think i read just about every persons comment on this thing & ive come to the conclusion that anorexia is a horrible thing to have whether its your just bulemic anorexic you cut, you think your fat when your not.. i mean.. everyone of you are yourself dont try to be somebody your not, lately ive wanted to become alot skinnier even though everyone i know tells me im skinny its not good enough though, in my mind i want to satisfy myself now im not anorexic or anything but i worry about my weight CONSTANTLY & i can tell my family is starting to get aggitated... all i have to say to everyone out there is that you should love yourself no matter what, in health we wanted a movie & a girl was bulemic both the friends were & it was the saddest thing ive ever seen i cryed.. every morning i wake up i look in the mirror & tell myself i love myself you know? Also.. i sometimes listen to the song "Hello World" its a GREAT confidence song & i think if you need reassurance listen to it! if anyone wants to contact me email me |
| Name: | lilly |
| E-mail address: | standsonchrist@yahoo.com |
| Comments: | hey all-
i've gota new email if anyone has tried to contact me. it's standsonchrist@yahoo.com. so lately my purging hasn't happened, and i've gone as of this sunday a week without cutting! woohoo! tonight was really hard; i had major flasbacks and feelings of not being able to escape something. i wasn't in any real danger, but the thought, and i think it was associatd with the flashbacks, were really intense. then i got yelled at a lot. not a good night. lilly |
| Name: | lilly |
| E-mail address: | calldbygrace@yahoo.com |
| Comments: | hey all-
ok, so here's my update. i think God for now and hopefully forever has taken away my bulimia and anorexia. i'm still struggling sometimes with cutting. but i am getting better. i have also been in counseling since last june. another thing that i've learned to deal with cutting is draw on yourself, do body art with sharpie markers. hope this idea helps someone else. praying is another good thing. that's what's been going on with me :). |
| Name: | lilly |
| E-mail address: | calldbygrace@yahoo.com |
| Name: | brie |
| E-mail address: | hornygoatneedsum@aol |
| Comments: | Hey everyone...um this is my frist tyme writing im kinda nervis..i dunno but yea. I have a problem with cutting and burning..... I've been to the hospital once 4m it but nothing changed... so its gottin badder since when ever that was... me and my girlfrind broke up...(if ur wondering yes im gay)its really weird between us and we only met a year ago and everything has happend we went thro sooo much we couldn't talk 2 each other,both of our parents hated each us b/c of it they totally dis-owned us but ne ways just so much and i gave almost every thing up for her my family my dreams..................every thing....... i did all of that b/c she promised she'd all ways be there..... that she always b my everything.. i guess not huh? now im all alone and i have no one... now shes living a good lyf and im jus here.. kinda shity huh? well i guess thats how it goes? i cant even remember a night that i went with out crying.... we broke up two years ago and im still not... i love her so much.... i can even remember wen we talking about how we were gunna grow old with each other... and how so would never brake my heart or hurt me... well i guess i know now that people are full of shit.... all they want is what they want and when they get it... they just take off and leave with out a good bye or anything-all people except for all of you guys who know what lyf is realy like.... your all real... not fake thanx so much for being that. I dont even kno my self anymore... because half of the tyme im numb.... and the other half....i dunno kno wut i am i cant feel anything anymore its lyk a big chunk of me is missing..... and no body can fell it but hur... its kinda unreal... but its tru.... i jus feel lyk i wanna be ripped apart and put back together again....
PLEASE HELP... BECAUSE IF SOMEONE DOESN'T SOON........ IM GUNNA HELP MY SELF -Brie |
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| Name: | Christie Phillips |
| E-mail address: | chrissy_pisgah@yahoo,com |
| Comments: | I am not anorexic, but my little sister thinks I am. I don't eat much at all and I have lost a lot of weight due to not eating.
I am also doing a Research paper on Anorexic/Bulimia for my English class. I have got a lot of information from your site for my paper. Thank You for making this website, it is very informative. --love-- christie |
| Name: | Fading |
| E-mail address: | fadingstaruk@aol.com |
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| Comments: | Thank you for creating this site - it's really informative. |
| Name: | lilly |
| E-mail address: | calldbygrace@yahoo.com |
| Homepage URL: | http://n/a |
| Comments: | hey there-
i think i've written here before, but i wantd to give an idea for self mutilation/self injury. sometimes i use cardboard and cut on there when i'm really angry or my emotions are running high. but sometimes i want to cut. i have also started to make myself throw up. it;s been about 2 days i think since i've purged last. it's hard b/c i know my body is a temple of God, but i also want to be "beautiful" in the eyes of the world, aka thin. right now i'm just trying to pass teh time and not purge and or cut. love always, lilly |
| Name: | matt |
| E-mail address: | allstarmjm@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | O.k. im am not belimic but one of my close friends is and I really don't know what to do. She has been making her self throw up after she eats for about a month now and she laughs about it when she talks about it. I really don't want her to get hurt or anything. Please someone email and gemme any advice. All is appricated. thanks matt |
| Name: | heather |
| E-mail address: | star14hot@aol.com |
| Comments: | im belimic but anyways i only make my self sick when i cry and when i feel fat cause i am fat but anyways i threw up earlyer cause i heard my friend aka brother is moving |
| Name: | heather |
| E-mail address: | star14hot@aol.com |
| Comments: | im belimic but anyways i only make my self sick when i cry and when i feel fat cause i am fat but anyways i threw up earlyer cause i heard my friend aka brother is moving |
| Name: | Ashley |
| E-mail address: | Tommygirl5773@yahoo.com |
| Comments: | I don't think im bulimic or anerexic but my freinds do. I don't eat but when I do I throw it up....if anyone could tell me how long I have to throw up my food after I eat it so that it will work PLEASE DO!!! I think its that you have like a half an hour right? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE someone help me...and if you have any other tips I'd love to hear them!! |
| Name: | Ashley |
| E-mail address: | Tommygirl5773@yahoo.com |
| Comments: | I don't think im bulimic or anerexic but my freinds do. I don't eat but when I do I throw it up....if anyone could tell me how long I have to throw up my food after I eat it so that it will work PLEASE DO!!! I think its that you have like a half an hour right? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE someone help me...and if you have any other tips I'd love to hear them!! |
| Name: | Kim Steenson |
| E-mail address: | dreamergirl500@yahoo.com |
| Comments: | Hey Great site! Im doing a report and i got alot of info from your site! Thanks |
| Name: | Holly |
| E-mail address: | hollystorm1@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | Hi everyone
I haven’t signed in a while. Its 2005-happy new year- and I cant believe it. This time last year I’m not sure I would have made it this far. I’m doing much better. Last March/April time I stopped, mia/ana/si. I was doing ok- well outwardly at least. I had stopped the things that everyone saw to be the problem. However in July, a small thing tipped me over the edge and I tried to OD. I was unsuccessful. Since then it has been very difficult, but ive been doing well. Not only not doing stupid things, but being ok with not doing those things. That has been very hard to do. I’m very proud of all that I have done b/c it has been difficult. Christmas has just gone, and that is always a hard time of year for me. There is a lot of surplus food around, and it is hard. Just before xmas, I started being silly again- I can say silly b/c it is silly, stupid and horrible. I was only mia/ana not si, which I suppose in itself is an achievement, although only a very slight one. I did not throw up on xmas day, which is so good. It was so hard, really difficult not to, but I didn’t. Since xmas I have only thrown up twice and I’m now having to make myself eat again, proper meals, properly. The only thing is, is that I’m still not happy with how I look, though I’m learning to accept it. But its so easy to slip back into bad habits. And at the moment I want to, and am working so hard no to. I’ve come so far, and to back track so far would be devastating. So I’m feeling a little upset cos its all very painful. Doesn’t help that I broke up wit my bf and a new guy I like goes to Durham uni, which is miles away from where I live- so that wont work. So thats not helping. In October I applied to do study medicine at uni. I’ve been accepted (conditionally on grades, health and police checks). However on the medical forms they send you they ask if you’ve ever had an ed or self harmed. Its taken me ages academically and personally to reach this goal (and I’m not quite there yet), and now I’m afraid I wont be able to achieve it. This is partly one of the reasons I haven’t fully relapsed is b/c I can’t if I’m going to be a dr. So although I want to do my stupid stuff, I’m hoping that I wont b/c of this dream that I want even more. But I know that if my dr. puts it on my record I wont take it very well. Which scares me. I’m seeing her tomorrow and I’ll know more then. So my news is very positive. I know I want to do bad things but currently I’m not in a bad way. I’ve been doing well for at least 6 months, which is really great. I’m glad to be where I am. Its taken me a while to get here. I’m frightened about going back to bad things, b/c its easy and I still remember the good times we had (me and mia/ana). But I have to keep reminding myself of the bad things and how far I’ve come. Sarah- I know I never replied to your e-mail, I was to scared to do so, but I still have it, and read it over and over again. I’ve got help and am now properly recovering, not just physically and mentally but spiritually too. I’m starting to get my life back on track, with uni and everything. I just hope it goes Ok tomorrow with my dr. Oh I passed my driving test! So hopefully 2005 is full of good prospects. Thank u for being there. If you want to e-mail me, I think I’m now of a mind where I can probably be more optimistic and say happier things- so I’m probably better to talk to now! I send my love and best wishes to everyone (sufferers and their support net). Take care, Holly xx |
| Name: | Holly |
| E-mail address: | hollystorm1@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | Hi everyone
I haven’t signed in a while. Its 2005-happy new year- and I cant believe it. This time last year I’m not sure I would have made it this far. I’m doing much better. Last March/April time I stopped, mia/ana/si. I was doing ok- well outwardly at least. I had stopped the things that everyone saw to be the problem. However in July, a small thing tipped me over the edge and I tried to OD. I was unsuccessful. Since then it has been very difficult, but ive been doing well. Not only not doing stupid things, but being ok with not doing those things. That has been very hard to do. I’m very proud of all that I have done b/c it has been difficult. Christmas has just gone, and that is always a hard time of year for me. There is a lot of surplus food around, and it is hard. Just before xmas, I started being silly again- I can say silly b/c it is silly, stupid and horrible. I was only mia/ana not si, which I suppose in itself is an achievement, although only a very slight one. I did not throw up on xmas day, which is so good. It was so hard, really difficult not to, but I didn’t. Since xmas I have only thrown up twice and I’m now having to make myself eat again, proper meals, properly. The only thing is, is that I’m still not happy with how I look, though I’m learning to accept it. But its so easy to slip back into bad habits. And at the moment I want to, and am working so hard no to. I’ve come so far, and to back track so far would be devastating. So I’m feeling a little upset cos its all very painful. Doesn’t help that I broke up wit my bf and a new guy I like goes to Durham uni, which is miles away from where I live- so that wont work. So thats not helping. In October I applied to do study medicine at uni. I’ve been accepted (conditionally on grades, health and police checks). However on the medical forms they send you they ask if you’ve ever had an ed or self harmed. Its taken me ages academically and personally to reach this goal (and I’m not quite there yet), and now I’m afraid I wont be able to achieve it. This is partly one of the reasons I haven’t fully relapsed is b/c I can’t if I’m going to be a dr. So although I want to do my stupid stuff, I’m hoping that I wont b/c of this dream that I want even more. But I know that if my dr. puts it on my record I wont take it very well. Which scares me. I’m seeing her tomorrow and I’ll know more then. So my news is very positive. I know I want to do bad things but currently I’m not in a bad way. I’ve been doing well for at least 6 months, which is really great. I’m glad to be where I am. Its taken me a while to get here. I’m frightened about going back to bad things, b/c its easy and I still remember the good times we had (me and mia/ana). But I have to keep reminding myself of the bad things and how far I’ve come. Sarah- I know I never replied to your e-mail, I was to scared to do so, but I still have it, and read it over and over again. I’ve got help and am now properly recovering, not just physically and mentally but spiritually too. I’m starting to get my life back on track, with uni and everything. I just hope it goes Ok tomorrow with my dr. Oh I passed my driving test! So hopefully 2005 is full of good prospects. Thank u for being there. If you want to e-mail me, I think I’m now of a mind where I can probably be more optimistic and say happier things- so I’m probably better to talk to now! I send my love and best wishes to everyone (sufferers and their support net). Take care, Holly xx |
| Name: | Jessica |
| E-mail address: | blondechick189@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | Hey, everyone please listen my friend died because she was hit by a car and was bulimic, she wouldn't have died if she hadn't been ana and bulimic. The car hit her in a parking lot and the doctor said she died of heart failure so please stop and just diet if you have to.
YOU ARE beautiful and it doesn't matter what others think, so if you need a confidence boost and you like music listen to my favorite Dolly Parton, or go to www.launch.com and type in Dolly Parton and click on videos and then watch one. I know you will feel better!!! I pray for all of you - love jess - |
| Name: | girlywirly89 |
| E-mail address: | girlywirly89@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | I dont want to believe it, but i am suffering from anorexia. For as long as I remember I have hated myself and was always a little chubby. i have a bad family history and have struggled with my eating for over a year, binging one day starving the next etc. 6 months ago I started throwing up and got caught in a binge purge cycle, and now for the last 3 months I have bin starving myself, (and still throwing up sometimes) and have managed to get down to 44kg but am still not happy. I want to weigh even less and sometimes I dont even care that I could die. I have recently ben taken to a counseler by my mother and hate it! Apparanatly if I continue to lose weight at this speed, I will be in hospital in around a month. Im scared and confused as I want to eat and lead a normal life but dont want to let go of this, or stop losing weight. This has become my life, and my identity and I couldnt bear to lose it. |
| Name: | kat |
| Comments: | hey i've just started treatment, after suffering on and off anorexia and bulimia for 4 years.i've been admitted twice but nothing has every changed, i have also been put in the hospital for eating paper,tissues and cotton wool instead of food. i have hurt everyone i know, though some people knew! now i am watched when i eat and my boyfriend sits outside the toliet if it's under an hour after i've eaten.i knew all the tricks and ways to avoid it.i still now dont think its stupid,but i can no longer get away with it. i get weighed in every 2 weeks and i still have tricks to make me heavier. i know this is a good thing though and i'm starting to get in the habbit of thinking that. |
| Name: | Jessica Wyatt |
| E-mail address: | jessieroo2@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | Sarah, Hi. Do you remember me? I'm in recovery but its a very hard long road. I keep on going back to binge eating to anorexia. Until my eating disorder doctor talked to me a few weeks ago I was willing to let the anorexia in and let it be my best friend forever. Now I want to change. What is your email address? Can I email you sometime? Email me soon.
Jessica |
| Name: | elle |
| E-mail address: | chicabug82@yahoo.com |
| Comments: | i just wanted to update y'all on how things are going for me. i'm in counseling, and it's really hard. i've been trying to stop cutting (i always do it on my stomach) and i really enjoy my counseling. i'm 22 and still living at home. i know jeremiah 29:11 is so true for me. it says "for i know the plans i have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future."
i know that Jesus has blessed me to be reliant on him, not always b/c i'm imperfect, but most of the time, even when it's hard. i know that i've also been blessed to be a fighter and someone who perserveres. i would love if anyone wants someone to relate to or to talk to please email me. i may not always have the answers, but i am praying for you all on this board. i've tried a couple of times to make myself throw up, and i'm trying to stop. any Christians reading this out there, please pray for me. i really need it; i'm so thankful that i've come to know that i can't cure myself or do this on my own, and i need God's help. elle |
| Name: | lisa |
| Comments: | hiya everyona ive ad anorexia for bout 2yrs now and theres nothin betta than knowing u aint alone in all of this i was just thinking 2 my self will it ever go away? am i always gunna have that voice in my head? i havent got an email adress but wud love some1 2 talk 2, my best mate was bulimic and it was good to do it 2gether but we aint mates nemore so this past year ive been pretty lonely, well gotta gp but love u all x x x |
| Name: | confused |
| E-mail address: | rach_loz@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | im nearly 17 and think i am bulliemic, i first threw up last year(oct 2003), my dad got debilitatingly ill in july 2001 and at that time i was at a very low point due to certain people at my school not making life easy shall we say,i didnt have a happy school life at primary or secondary school until 3rd year where i made some amazing friends who i love dearly who i could be myself around and not try to fit, since then it has been (long story short) very difficult to cope with, just recently everything became to much and i had a period of breaking down, i dont want to burden anyone with my feelings about my dads illness coz i know how much it is to deal with. i am fat, so throwing up was my way of losing weight i spose, it kinda works but not as well as hoped, now i feel guilty if i dont do it,i would prefer to not eat but i definately dont have the will power.i dont know if i want to stop and i dont know if im doing it so it is dangerous ( i throw up straight after a meal usually)i also binge eat but dont see that as a problem because i throw it up after.i also worry that my mum will notice because she is is trained to notice behavioural signs, etc n shes already asked me about it but i think i managed to convince her otherwise (of course now she has suspected it makes it ven harder to throw up in case she notices again) i dont want to hurt my family and friends or hinder them with this or my emotional problems because i love them. im so confused. im lost and i dont know where this has come from or nething i am truly confused.if neone wants to talk to me about their situation or anything please do, i really would like someone to tlak to. |
| Name: | jess |
| E-mail address: | frenchfry_42088@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | i honestly dont know if i have a problem. i go all day without eating alot, then suddenly at night i find myself eating everything. is something wrong with me? |
| Name: | Derek |
| E-mail address: | aboo_01@yahoo.com |
| Homepage URL: | http://www.msn.com |
| Comments: | I have always felt that I was always to overweight for my age so I have become a pro-ana. |
| Name: | nicole |
| E-mail address: | blueyedsquirrel@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | Who I Am
It makes me feel like I have control. Yet, in all actuality; it has complete control over me. It's something I must do. I'm sorry if you cannot relate. It’s ok, please don't try to understand it, because you never will. Can't you see all that it does for me? It makes me pretty. It makes me happy. "If you're so happy, then why are you crying?" you ask. I told you, don't ask for explanations, because I can never provide them. I need it in order to be me. It's who I am. I don't think I can change. So if you will, please don't ask me to. Let me handle my life the only way I know how. |
| Name: | elle |
| E-mail address: | chicabug82@yahoo.com |
| Homepage URL: | http://n/a |
| Comments: | if ANYONE knows a website to go to to take the self-test to see if you have ana please email (i'm going to an ED counselor on tuesday, so i'd like to bring those results with me). much abliged.
elle |
| Name: | Kate H |
| Comments: | Have found the site really helpful... thanks!
Am 26, a Christian and been in recovery - praise God - from ana for a yr. Finished IP treatment exactly a yr ago. Keep fighting... no matter where you're at right now ... God has a plan for your life... (Jer 29 v11) God Bless xxxx |
| Name: | Elle |
| E-mail address: | chicabug82@yahoo.com |
| Comments: | i'm a very strong Christian, but i'm going through a lot right now. although i'm not full blown anorexic (i don't have enough qualifying factors), i am not eating enough. i have been struggling since last august. today i was so upset that i made myself throw up. i am a SI, but not in the normal way everyone would think. if there are any Christians out there reading this, please keep me in your prayers. one of my friends is struggling w/b/pging and doesn't weigh very much (i won't go into detail since i don't want to betray her trust and i don't want to trigger someone else.
know i am praying for you all. anyways, that's all i have to say. i know the Lord is going to help me through this. if you're a Christian and would like to email me, i would love it. then we could keep each other accountable. |
| Name: | Vicki |
| E-mail address: | vicki@endallthepain.com |
| Homepage URL: | http://www.endallthepain.com |
| Comments: | Best to you with your site. :-) |
| Name: | LMM |
| E-mail address: | asil_kora@yahoo.com.au |
| Comments: | Hey - just looking for somewhere safe to be while I'm with the thoughts in my head...found this place, and it's helped a little. Thanks heaps
I realise you have no room for more poetry, but here's one I wrote a couple of months back - I guess I'm still feeling the same, even though everyone thinks things are getting "better" - whatever the hell that is... - and I don't want to disappoint them. My Skin Cage Take me from this place I am Remove me from this skin It is too tight and does not fit The places my mind has been Walk with me to somewhere else Where I can be set free Help me scratch my way beyond This body that cages me Thanks again for offering hope to others out there are trying to find their path to recovery from ED & SI & depression... LMM |
| Name: | Laura McCauley |
| E-mail address: | sweettemptation1027@excite.com |
| Comments: | When I was around the age of 14 I was anerexic. I ate. But not what was considered healthy. I lived off of salt free crackers. I looked like i was 200 pounds when in reality I was 98. I am no longer that way. But I wish I was. Looking back at pictures of me I remembered how good it felt to see myself as a skinny person. I am 4'11, with a large chest. To see myself as thin made me realize how bad I want that back. To this day I see a big person and I am considering to go back to my non eating days. |
| Name: | glte |
| E-mail address: | csocorro40@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | Much love to all of you, especially those who are reaching out for help...I have suffered from eating disorders, but have been well on the road to recovery for some time now. If I can say only a few words to help you, they would be that there is a God and He ACTUALLY exists and cares and He WILL DELIVER you from these problems...you only need to believe a little bit. Please, please ask Jesus Christ to help you. He claimed to be the son of God, and therefore has THE POWER to help you. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BY SAYING A SIMPLE PRAYER (WHATEVER'S IN YOUR HEART) AND REACHING OUT TO HIM. The WORST that can happen is nothing; the BEST that can happen is that He really is who He claims to be, and He gets you out of this mess. |
| Name: | Claire |
| E-mail address: | bootylicious3566@yahoo.co.uk |
| Comments: | its been an ongoing struggle for me with annorexia, i went in hospital weighing only 4stone 11lbs, recently i got discharged from hospital, still feeling very unsecure about my weight, however what i would like 2 say is` every1 in the early stages of starvation, get help, dont go as far as i did, i lost friends through it all, it isnt worth it, because it can control u after a while xx |
| Name: | stephanie |
| E-mail address: | stephangel91@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | hi...i god bless u all! one day i was really sick and all of a sudden i stop eating for a day i think im becoming anorexic! im 12 years old and weigh 85 pounds i think im fat and i want to have a nice fit body i duno what to do if anyone can offer me some advise to stop this please email me! |
| Name: | Amie |
| E-mail address: | amiexbabez@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | Hi my name is Amie, and i have been suffering with an eating disorder for 2 years now. Its such a vicous cycle-could really do with a friend to talk to about it, i have never met another girl in the same position as me.
HELP! here is a poem i wrote: Ever so slowly, screwing you up inside. This is never-ending, its just so much to hide. You wake up in the morning, with voices in your head, These voices just wont go, until the time you go to bed. It’s a ever lasting circle of lose, gain, lose You are telling it to stop, only your not the one to choose. Somehow this girl you are is not the one people see, you would much rather die than look at this hideous body, You hate the sight in mirrors, your body, the mess, And all that’s on your mind is food, you’re somehow used to the stress The voice it giggles gently, when today you’ve eaten nothing at all, But even that’s not good enough, and you slowly begin to fall. The pain is overwhelming, hunger is replaced by strain, I don’t remember signing up, to a life so full of pain. I wish that I was thin again, but ive put on so much weight, Somehow its not so easy, its better with the constraints. |
| Name: | awkuzu |
| E-mail address: | mugu@mugu.com |
| Comments: | mugu oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo |
| Name: | liz |
| Comments: | sarah-
i may be an unusual case. i am 21 now, and a very strong follower of Christ. it is this faith that has gotten me through so much, including overeating and other things. i know i have come a long way since hs. a lot has happened in my life, but i want to focus on the good news is that, because of developing a case of overeating in hs and mildly struggling with anorexia (a week; perhaps that doesn't constitute not eating for a solid week an ED) in 9th grade, i have recently caught myself heading towards an ED, possibly anorexia (although i do eat some food) and so i went to a trained professional therapist. psalm 139:7-10 says 7)Where can I go from (God's) spirit, where can I flee from His presence? 8)if i go up to the heavens, you (God) are there; if i make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9)if i rise on the wings of the dawn, if i settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. verse 13-14 states 13) for you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14) i praise you (God) b/c i am FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE; your works are WONDERFUL; i know that full well. it has been these verses that have prevented me from going to anorexia. although i still struggle sometimes with food issues, i refuse to starve myself b/c God made me beautifully, inside and out, and I am His beautiful bride-He created me in His perfect image (although i am far from being perfect). the reason i'm signing this book is so others may perhaps find hope and encouragement and learn to love who they've been created to be (even if they're struggling with body images; our bodies are only temporary). i am praying for all those affected by this terrible disease, anorexia and overeating, chewing and spitting. it can become an obsession, but i am calling on Christ to see me through it-and i KNOW HE WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love the Lord. in Christ's arms, liz |
| Name: | Kelly Simmons |
| E-mail address: | tigger@mhonline.net |
| Name: | April Snyder |
| E-mail address: | Luckyleaf5823@aol.com |
| Name: | - |
| Comments: | Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.
Its never too late! From experience I know that living with a mental illness is like a living hell.I have made it and so will all of you. KEEP fighting! God bless |
| Name: | - |
| Comments: | Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.
Its never too late! From experience I know that living with a mental illness is like a living hell.I have made it and so will all of you. KEEP fighting! God bless |
| Name: | - |
| Comments: | Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.
Its never too late! From experience I know that living with a mental illness is like a living hell.I have made and so will all of you. KEEP fighting! God bless |
| Name: | Krissie |
| Comments: | Hey... I just wanted to say that I was looking over the site and a lot of it is inspirational in some ways... Your story for instance where you are studying to become what you want to be and that you're battling what has happened. Theo ne thing I always say is whatever happens makes you stronger... After coping with SI for so long (my first cut was in 1997) I want to stop but as you know yourself, it's so hard. I stopped for a time but it has overcome me again. Most times I do fairly well but there's times when I get into a completely different feeling to say, a sense of eurphoia (whatever it's called) and that's it... then after the cut, I realise what I did and feel ashamed of myself. I feel stronger when I believe I have overcome it but sometimes I'm just not strong enough. It takes over me. Reading some of your story gives me hope that someday everything will be better and that I'll have been stopped. The one thing I know though is that the craving is always going to be there but a sense of security is not having the tool or making the cut, but the security of not having to make the cut or burn anymore... |
| Name: | Alyssa |
| E-mail address: | akdk-90@earthlink.net |
| Comments: | I 'm doing a project at school about eating disorders and your stories really touched me. I have a friend who is anorexic but she is getting better. I told her that she has everything to live for. |
| Name: | Alyssa |
| E-mail address: | akdk-90@earthlink.net |
| Comments: | I 'm doing a project at school about eating disorders and your stories really touched me. I have a friend who is anorexic but she is getting better. I told her that she has everything to live for. |
| Name: | Danielle |
| E-mail address: | chicken_little73102@hotmail.com |
| Homepage URL: | http://danni_gurl0.tripod.com/dannispoetry |
| Comments: | It's me again. I tried going to the school counselor you had found at my school for me, but she didn't help me at all. She told me that I need to see someone that can work with me on longterm stuff...which means, someone off-campus. I don't have any insurance and I can't afford to get help off campus, but I'm not going to ask the counselor I was seeing, to help me anymore. I'm worse off than I've ever been and I know I'm depressed and need help, but I can't bring myself to go. I tried to kill myself New Years Eve, but was caught at work and thankfully they only called my parents and told them but let me keep my job. I work with a girl who's basically on her death bed she's been bulimic for so long she nothing but a bag of bones. The sad part is.....I'm so jealous of her it's not even funny. We used to be really good friends, but I've blocked her out b/c of the jealousy. I've got to find help somewhere but the chatroom I used to go to doesn't talk about stuff anymore and I hate meeting new people that think I'm making all of this stuff up. My ex still treats me like shit and since i've gained at the most, 3 lbs since he last saw me he told me that I'm turning into a fat ass. I just want to die and I'm a huge fan of Lord of the Rings....Gollum is my favorite character..big surprise there. I love the page on the fathers view of his character, he's right. Anyway, I need help but I dont' know what to do anymore. |
| Name: | bri and carmen |
| E-mail address: | none |
| Comments: | omg this totally inspired us. we both had anorexia and this site made us think about how dangerous anorexia is. we are now on a treatment plan and are making really good progress towards " our ideal weight." if you have anorexia or bulemia and are reading this please get help now. we love u and it would be the worst thing in the world to lose you. we were hospitalized for 5 months and it was the best thing that ever happened to us even tho at the time we hated it. we had really severe anorexia and we were killing ourselves. now we are the happy-est we have ever been in our lives. (except mikaela lost her graphing calc.) trust us: GET HELP!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!! we were when we first got anorexia and since then met eachother at the hospital and togehter helped eachother through the bad times and now we celebrate life together. we love all of you. our best friend we met at the hospital died there and we miss her tons. allison was a terrific girl and her death irpired us to get through that terrible situation. please dont let that happen to you. thank you for reading this.
love always, bri and carmen |
| Name: | bri and carmen |
| E-mail address: | none |
| Comments: | omg this totally inspired us. we both had anorexia and this site made us think about how dangerous anorexia is. we are now on a treatment plan and are making really good progress towards " our ideal weight." if you have anorexia or bulemia and are reading this please get help now. we love u and it would be the worst thing in the world to lose you. we were hospitalized for 5 months and it was the best thing that ever happened to us even tho at the time we hated it. we had really severe anorexia and we were killing ourselves. now we are the happy-est we have ever been in our lives. (except mikaela lost her graphing calc.) trust us: GET HELP!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!! we were when we first got anorexia and since then met eachother at the hospital and togehter helped eachother through the bad times and now we celebrate life together. we love all of you. our best friend we met at the hospital died there and we miss her tons. allison was a terrific girl and her death irpired us to get through that terrible situation. please dont let that happen to you. thank you for reading this.
love always, bri and carmen |
| Name: | bri and carmen |
| E-mail address: | none |
| Comments: | omg this totally inspired us. we both had anorexia and this site made us think about how dangerous anorexia is. we are now on a treatment plan and are making really good progress towards " our ideal weight." if you have anorexia or bulemia and are reading this please get help now. we love u and it would be the worst thing in the world to lose you. we were hospitalized for 5 months and it was the best thing that ever happened to us even tho at the time we hated it. we had really severe anorexia and we were killing ourselves. now we are the happy-est we have ever been in our lives. (except mikaela lost her graphing calc.) trust us: GET HELP!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!! we were when we first got anorexia and since then met eachother at the hospital and togehter helped eachother through the bad times and now we celebrate life together. we love all of you. our best friend we met at the hospital died there and we miss her tons. allison was a terrific girl and her death irpired us to get through that terrible situation. please dont let that happen to you. thank you for reading this.
love always, bri and carmen |
| Name: | angela montalbo |
| Comments: | i don't have a e mail address but i do have a problem with my eating habits i don;t throw up i just don't eat enough of the things that i should. i have diabetes , and i'm 21 years old and i've been diabetic since i was 13. i have to be honest with you i don't take the best care of myself although i should ! my family is tired of seeing me sick shit i'm tired of being sick !!!!! but to tell you the truth i don't know were to get started .i don't know why i choose to be like this , i'm scared so scared . i only weigh 1oo pounds. and i've always weighed atleast 146 pounds and now i'm discusted when i see myself in the mirror . HELP ME ,HELP ME ,HELP ME PLEASE
|
| Name: | angela montalbo |
| Comments: | i don't have a e mail address but i do have a problem with my eating habits i don;t throw up i just don't eat enough of the things that i should. i have diabetes , and i'm 21 years old and i've been diabetic since i was 13. i have to be honest with you i don't take the best care of myself although i should ! my family is tired of seeing me sick shit i'm tired of being sick !!!!! but to tell you the truth i don't know were to get started .i don't know why i choose to be like this , i'm scared so scared . i only weigh 1oo pounds. and i've always weighed atleast 146 pounds and now i'm discusted when i see myself in the mirror . HELP ME ,HELP ME ,HELP ME PLEASE
|
| Name: | angela montalbo |
| Comments: | i don't have a e mail address but i do have a problem with my eating habits i don;t throw up i just don't eat enough of the things that i should. i have diabetes , and i'm 21 years old and i've been diabetic since i was 13. i have to be honest with you i don't take the best care of myself although i should ! my family is tired of seeing me sick shit i'm tired of being sick !!!!! but to tell you the truth i don't know were to get started .i don't know why i choose to be like this , i'm scared so scared . i only weigh 1oo pounds. and i've always weighed atleast 146 pounds and now i'm discusted when i see myself in the mirror . HELP ME ,HELP ME ,HELP ME PLEASE
|
| Name: | Ereca |
| E-mail address: | i_like_dead_bunnies@yahoo.com |
| Comments: | hey, I am 17 years old and have been anorexic for about 4 to 5 years now. I've been in 3 hospital's and also a treatment facility and somehow I still can not overcome being anorexic. What should I do? |
| Name: | leah |
| E-mail address: | leabubbasmichelle@yahoo.com |
| Name: | leah |
| E-mail address: | leabubbasmichelle@yahoo.com |
| Name: | j |
| E-mail address: | sara2603@couchman.fsnet.co.uk |
| Comments: | i have been struggling to overcome bulimia for five, nearly six years but it just wont go away,i dont know what to do anymore. i just want to die!!!will it ever stop? |
| Name: | Deenah Walin |
| E-mail address: | deenahwalin@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | I'm very impressed with your site!
My best friend (I'm pretty sure) is anorexic and I want to help her - so I found your site while surfing the net. Thank you! |
| Name: | Sarah |
| E-mail address: | Info@anorexicsanonymous |
| Homepage URL: | http://www.anorexicsanonymous |
| Comments: | Distraught Dad,
I dont often sign this book myself, I let it run itself, deleteing inappropriate posts when nessesary, and emailing people when i feel the need, but I couldnt help but respond to you gullum analogy because believe it or not I saw the same thing, not when reading the book at the age of 13 but when watching the movie ( I guess the appearance factors in) what you said made a lot of sense and if you dont mind i think i may move your post somewhere into the actual site, when I find a place for it. Also how is your daughter doing? dont hesitate to email me if you have any questions or just want to talk. I get a fair amout of email from parents and friends, in fact it is the bulk of the email I recieve. I hope that treatment is doing her well, just remember it is a process. Sarah |
| Name: | Danielle |
| E-mail address: | chicken_little73102@hotmail.com |
| Homepage URL: | http://danni_gurl0.tripod.com/dannispoetry |
| Comments: | Sarah, I haven't been to your site in probably a little over a year. Sorry to say I'm not doing well at all. Since we've spoken last, I've lost 30lbs and started cutting. The cuts aren't bad...I'm scared to keep doing it though. I've been to some sites that show pics of how other people do it and they scare me to death. I'm ashamed when people see my arms and notice the marks...my parents won't speak to me anymore because of that and never eating around them. My parents are on the verge of a divorce because of me, they're "perfect" daughter. If you have a chance, or anyone out there, has a chance to write me and possibly help in some way, shape, or form....please do. I just want to die!!!! |
| Name: | Emilie |
| E-mail address: | emieee@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | My name is Emilie and I'm from Quebec in Canada. I have a low self-esteem and I've tried starving myself many times. Reading your journals is what keeps me away from doing this to myself on a regular basis. I know it's not worth it. Thank you all. It's a wonderful website. Keep on the good work. Good luck to everyone who is struggling with an eating disorder! Have a nice day. |
| Name: | Distraught Dad |
| E-mail address: | ANAdad59@aol.com |
| Comments: | Sarah:
Don't be fooled. No one knows when the second coming will take place. It could be tomorrow, in a thousand years or ten thousand years. "But of that day or that hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." (Mark 13:32). |
| Name: | denisejesus frenchrist |
| E-mail address: | frenchdl@hotmail.com |
| Homepage URL: | http://books.dreambook.com |
| Comments: | this message is for you sarah and to all the soul suffering from the flesh. i am back my friend, and it is almost time to take you and my other loyal friends to your real home. heaven!!!!! i have heard your prayers and the others as well. this year 2003 is the second coming of the christ, so i've found out 8-28-03. hang in there babygirl you will soon be seeing me and the whole world will too. i love you, and god does too. |
| Name: | Distraught Dad |
| E-mail address: | ANAdad59@aol.com |
| Comments: | Holly's last post (and others) led me to make a comparison between eating disorders and the creature Gollum's tragic relationship with the One Ring of Power in Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien. Sound farfetched? Consider Gandalf's words in Moria, when Frodo discovered that Gollum was following them: "Gollum hates and loves the Ring, as he hates and loves himself. He will never be rid of his need for it." Furthermore, Gollum was utterly alone, consumed as he was by his obsession with the "Precious."
Or consider the Nazgul, the Ringwraiths. At one time they were great kings of men, seduced by the lure of power promised by Sauron in the form of the nine rings. One by one they faded into darkness, neither living nor dead, slaves to the will of Sauron. So how is this comparision applicable to anorexia or bulimia? One who is suffering from an eating disorder, or perhaps a loved one of same, might very well see the connection immediately. If not, allow me to elaborate: Let's say the One Ring of Power represents anorexia or bulimia. First coming into possession of this "Ring," not knowing it's dark and treacherous nature, might seem like a great stroke of good fortune or fun. At this point it would compare to first going on a diet. The "Ringbearer" may feel an increase in control over her life, i.e. power over her destiny. In the book, the Ring made the wearer invisible. Dieting makes the practitioner thinner. Possessing the "Ring" (diet) may initially make the bearer feel more popular, worthy, lovable, in control, etc. Gradually, however, the dark and treacherous nature of the "Ring" begins to assert itself, and takes on a life of its own, and begins to take control of the "Ringbearer's" life away from her. The "Ring" causes her to obsess over dieting, food, body image and weight. Relationships to others are adversely affected, especially with those closest to her. Nobody understands what the "Ringbearer" is going through. The "Ring" slowly becomes heavier. The "Ringbearer" begins withdrawing from friends and loved ones. Eventually, the "Ringbearer" feels the "Eye of Sauron" upon her. The "Ring" has come to control her life. She fades, becoming thinner and thinner. Her universe becomes increasingly narrow, with the "Ring" being the major focus of her attention and action. Activities and relationships she used to enjoy and participate in no longer seem to matter, or are a nuisance. When Frodo was bearing the Ring towards Mordor, the longer he carried it and the closer he came to Mount Doom, the heavier the Ring became. He grew agitated, depressed and despondent. He lost his appetite and slept little. At times he had outbursts of ill-will towards his closest friend, Samwise Gamgee. Frodo was slowly becoming another Gollum. The main difference between Frodo and Gollum was that Frodo was carrying the Ring to Mount Doom to distroy it, whereas Gollum was constantly scheming to get the Ring back for himself. In the end however, Even Frodo lost his will to the Ring, unable to do the deed he had come so far to accomplish. Sound familiar? If you are heading down this road, I earnestly urge you to admit it to yourself and seek help, and seek reconciliation with those who care about you from whom you may have become estranged. Anorexia and bulimia can kill you. In fact I've read that as many as 10 to 20 percent of anorexics die from their eating disorder (coronary arrest from malnutrition being the leading cause). I would be interested in hearing from anyone who might have something to add to this "Lord of the Rings" comparison. |
| Name: | Holly |
| E-mail address: | hollystorm1@hotmail.com |
| Comments: | hi, i'm signing again. i just read some posts. and the one by the dad actually made me cry.
its ironic now that i'm goin to tell u bout my shit, and it will probably lack compassion and seem so insensitive. cos we have completely different mindsets. just so u know im 16/f/uk si mia trying 2 b ana, depressed? i dunno sometimes, suicidal, well u know, sometimes. ... my parents know now. so does school. my "friends" told a teacher. and now my life is royally fucked up. after being so unhappy that every night i contemplated suicide (not that i ever told my friends this) but i was becoming distant from everyhting which is why they spilled. the only reason i didn't was because i went for walks late at night, in the dark, alone. i've taken up smoking. i know that if i go light headed quickly-i've been good, cos i haven't got anything in me. this was one of my ways to cope- smoking while goin 4 a walk, another was cos i didn't wanna hurt the ppl who love me. yeah well everything kinda fell apart for me once evryone knew. i felt so empty. i no longer had any secrets. except well i've learnt 2 be great a deception. i told my mother i've only ever cut twice, and only ever on my arm. at least thats 1 thing i dont have 2 worry about. unfortunately being a mia sufferer isn't gd at the best of times, least of all when your mother is obsessed with vomitting-she hates it. so for a few weeks, i was interrogated about all my actions. and i hated it. i needed to be alone. i needed my secrets, they made me real and a person, now im just, nothing. after enduring this shit, i have managed a solution. i'm supposed to go 2 see a shrink, after the glorious visit to the doctors. however the appointment hasn't come yet. anyway i thought about this a lot. and through my scheming, i've managed to convince my mother that i've stopped. when she found out, i said that i was in the process of stopping, and i've stuck with that story. i have led her to believe that a friend has helped me to stop. so now things are good. i cant get rid of food at home, so i just dont eat, i only eat when i have 2, or when i know i can get rid of it, like at school or town or something. i have told my mother that i will go and see the shrink for a couple of times, but b/c of all the help from my friend (newly aquired after all my other mates betrayed me 'cos it was for the best' ). this means that i can tell school (and my old friends if i bother 2 spk 2 them) that i'm seeing a shrink which gets them off my back. b/c i've "stopped" my mother is off my back and now everythings gd, i have my secrets again. and i can b a proper person. one thing i hate tho, is my mum was so sad. my parents thought it was their fault, which maybe was/probably contributed to it. but my mum cried so much, i didn't like that. but what i h8d mor was my dad didn't say anything about it, ever. not one word. i wish i knew what he was thinking. also my mum practically burst into tears at a school function when talking to my gym coach. and although that makes me sad, i hate her for goin behind my back. like the teacher did when she told my parents, like my "friends" did when they told the teacher. i also hate it when my mum says i'm so slender. which i know is a blatant lie, cos the other day she was calling me FAT. it is sooooo hypocritical. and another thing i hate is she tired to blame it on me not having a boy friend, like i need that 2 b happy. it wud b nice 2 have sum1 love u, but it prolly wudn't help cos i dont love myself, its so stupid. and then, this was amusing, she then asked me if i did it cos i was worried that i was gay. what the fuck does she take me for. she has no clue. she is an insensitive bitch. oh and another thing, my friend said i looked ill. also that my hair looked lank and my teeth were going yellow. this may be true, but i deny looking ill. but the thing that got to me was that she almost, (but stopped b4 she said it, however she had said enough for me to know what she was thinking) said i was only long blonde hair and a smile. which puts it into perspective really doesn't it. thats how people see me. which is pathetic. anyway i've gone on way to long. sorry this was so angry and so long. it the first time i've written since every1 found out. its just been a bit tough on me. an du wanan know the really pathetic thing. i'm crying now cos i miss being able to talk to my friends. i want them back but i cant becasue i feel so hurt by them. i have other friends but its not the same. i want them, i miss them and i hate not talking to them and i hate all of it but i cant stop cos i need it which, makes me weak, weak and stupid, and friendless. i feel so alone right now. i wish i wasn't. but i am. |