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Tuesday, June 28th 2005 - 12:26:22 PM
Name: Phil E-mail address: Phil@witnesses.plus.com Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: Simon, thank you for getting in touch. We hope that your Bible discusions prove interesting and fruitful. Hopefully the "Transsexual" page of this site may have given some idea of the position of Jehovah's Witnesses on this issue, and perhaps private correspondence on the matter could be helpful and encouraging.
Kind regards.
Tuesday, June 28th 2005 - 12:23:46 PM
Name: Phil E-mail address: Phil@witnesses.plus.com Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: j.bailey, most of the in-depth discussion takes place these days in the Forum part of the site. If you'e forgotten the password to it, email me to get it again. The issues you raise are complex and I think would best be discussed either in private correspondence or in the Forum.
Anyway, nice to hear from you again!
Tuesday, June 28th 2005 - 11:11:45 AM
Name: Simon Comments: Hello everyone.I'm Simon,I'm 23 years old and a FTM transsexual.I am currently waiting for someone to come over to do the home bible study I requested.I was at work one day when a customer came in and handed me a copy of The Watchtower and Awake! magazines.It made me curious and I wanted to know more.
Last year I lost my father to cancer and ever since then I have been very interested in religion and for some reason I am very attracted to the Jehovah Witness Church but I'm afraid to accept a religion that could never possibly accept me if they knew the truth.If anyone has any thoughts feel free to e-mail me or send me an IM.Thanx
Monday, June 27th 2005 - 09:35:30 PM
Name: j. bailey Comments: Hi, everyone. I hope everyone still visits this site from time to time. Sometimes, it seems that months go by before I see a new post. I guess the way to combat that is to add to the guestbook myself.
I usually check in to share feelings and to attempt to encourage. This time, I'm asking for help. Since there are obviously some secretive aspects of my identity that I can't share with my friends or family, I have increasingly been feeling the need to deal with these issues on my own. However, living with my parents makes doing so impossible. I feel like I'm drowning, and I can't seem to find a means to escape. I'm not asking for money; I'm only asking for suggestions or links anyone might have so I can get out on my own and begin, finally, to grow spiritually and emotionally, into a man. Thank you all, and may Jehovah continue to bless you.
Monday, June 27th 2005 - 04:39:44 PM
Name: Phil E-mail address: Phil@witnesses.plus.com Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: Welcome Derek and Jeannie!
Jeannie, I hope you find lots of support via the site. That's great that you are studying the Bible. I know it will make a big difference to you.
Kind regards,
Phil.
Monday, June 27th 2005 - 03:12:04 AM
Name: jeannie Comments: hello everyone...i'm so happy that i found this site...i've only been studying for about a little over a month, and i really need to talk to other jw's who're struggling with the same thing....contact me if anyone wants
Saturday, June 25th 2005 - 11:06:32 PM
Name: Derek Comments: Salut mes frères et soeurs bien-aimés!
Que Jéhovah vous donne de la puisance à continuer luter, luter, luter. Ce n'est pas aussi facile, mais on y va arriver un jour.
Amitiés de la part de Derek.
Hi to all my beloved brothers and sisters.
May Jehovah grant you all strength to keep on fighting, fighting, fighting (the fine fight). It certainly isn't easy - but we'll get there one day soon.
Greetings from Derek
¡Hola Hermanos y Hermanos queridos!
Espero que Jehova ayude a Vds continuar luchando, luchando, luchando. ¿No es facíle verdad? Pero en el futuro nos ganaremos por seguro.
Abrazos de Derek
Monday, June 13th 2005 - 09:25:20 PM
Name: ramon leon Comments: Understanding among Christians seems impossible without others in the life. Thanks for your interest and support. Pardon my ignorance, but how do I post?
Monday, June 6th 2005 - 02:23:39 PM
Name: LJ Comments: Greetings Brothers & Sisters!
Replying to an e-mail I have just realized that maybe I can be of some help to you guys, in even just a tiny way.
I think that many of you have contemplated marriage, for whatever reasons, maybe because some one has recommended it to you. I know it was to me. You see, a few years ago, I trusted a brother with my secret, and even thou I’ve heard horror stories about “coming out” to some one as a desperate measure for relieve, my experience wasn’t bad, thou I was well aware that it could’ve been.
Anyway, this brother, who never changed despite of my revelation to him, recommended I “give myself a chance” as he put it. I thought he was crazy, and never really pursued the idea. Meanwhile, my prayers to Jehovah always included the same request, “All I want is for some one to Love me, why Jehovah can’t I be Loved and Love some one of the same sex, why is it that important?” Little did I know that Jehovah was going to take me up on that!
To make a long story short, I ended up marrying a sister I had known for a while and hung out with all the times in groups of brothers and sisters of course.
At that time, I had begun leading a double life. I was beginning to venture into the “Gay Scene” and ended up engaging in sexual acts with other men. I could honestly tell you that whatever I did, it didn’t make me happy. It sunk me deeper into depression, so deep that I had to seek help from a psychologist and a physiatrist, which didn’t really help, and to top it off I was later stuck with the bills.
I was so low, in spirit that I even stressed myself into Alopecia, which by the way, is a condition that causes your hair to fall in patches. It is not proven to be caused by depression or stress but it almost always arises in an individual’s most stressing and depressed period in his/her life.
In the meanwhile, this sister was demonstrating honest interest in my well being, even when every one else, of the so many brothers and sisters that I “hung-out” with, just didn’t bother with me. I stopped answering phone calls; soon they just gave up on me.
My wife now tells me that she tried convincing certain brother, that called himself my “best friend” to pay me a visit but he said he was too busy. That really hurt me. I’m just starting to get over the grudge. I’m going to be in his wedding next week, how funny!
Anyway, to make a long story at least a little shorted, after confessing first to my then loving friend, that soon after became my wife, and of course also to the elders, which was a horrible experience. Her parents found out too, which was equally as horrible, so horrible that for a split second, they (elders & my wife’s parents) made my doubt that this was the truth (I’m ashamed of saying so).
I just couldn’t believe that these people, who I thought were my “brother and sisters” were now treating my like a sick animal that wasn’t worthy of even the slightest pity. One of the elders told my wife that if she even saw my name in her caller-id to look the other way an d run away as if running from Satan himself (I’m still working on getting over my grudge against this elder, thank God he ended moving away because of circumstance out of his control, how weird! things that make you go, hmm…). My wife and I saw him the other day at a gathering and he had the nerve to tell us that we made a lovely couple! I just can’t get over it! Can’t stand him! (Still working on it!).
Enough said! My advice to any one here considering marriage is this; Marriage is a beautiful thing. It made me realize and further appreciate Jehovah’s arrangement for the human couple (Man & Woman). Far from my battle being over, I at least have some one to fight it with me. I no longer feel completely lonely.
Now, if I could just learn how to open up to my beautiful wife and share with her everything that can help her comprehend what I’m going thru. It would make it a lot easier and take away this feeling of emotional loneliness that still lingers. I guess much of these feelings are caused by the shame I feel of having to explain to her my attraction towards the same sex.
She is, by the way, with every passing day, filling in the gaps, which I thought and sometimes still think a woman could never fill.
This is why, Brothers & Sisters, I exhort you all to really meditate on Proverbs 3: 5,6, my favorite scriptures, which say in part “DO NOT LEAN UPON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING…” We are just not able to see things the way Jehovah sees them, he knows best! If Jehovah says that we can do it, it is because we can!
Furthermore, let me just leave you by telling you that I’ve come a long way, and even thou I still have a long, long way to go. I am amazed at what Jehovah has helped me accomplished. I’m far from being that timid guy that once even lived as a woman! And was considering a sex change! Yes, I’m completely over those feelings of discontentment with myself. Jehovah has taught me how to be happy with how he made me, and continually teaches me how to change my old personality into one made to the measure of our model, Jesus Christ. 1 Pet 2:21
I’m content with that aspect of me, and can’t even believe I once considered such a thing. Believe it or not! I have never being flamboyant or feminine. Even thou I lived as a woman for 2yrs. I only did it because I really passed as a woman due to my Ameri-Indian features (I’m originally from South American), plus I was only 16yrs. old and had not gone thru puberty yet. You can’t even tell I’m gay, maybe bisexual now, I love my wife, and yes, sex is great! (Sorry to share that detail, just thought I had to get my point across.)
Be strong! We have to!
LJ
Monday, June 6th 2005 - 12:08:29 PM
Name: LJ Comments: Hello every one! This is my first time signing the guest book. I'ld like to say that it was definitely very comforting reading all your comments and stories. I'll write more about myself latter, just want to say that I'm going thru a down right now. As you all know, our struggle is like a rollercoaster, atleast It's been like that for me. I am a christian in good standing, thou I've "messed up" a couple of times, lets just leave it at that. All I know is that, I've been out there, and it's a million times worst than the struggle we have here! Jehovah's loving kindness makes it all worth while, it really does! I'm hanging in here, I'll try until and probably die trying unless the New World order gets here first, providing Jehovah gives me the strength to go on, and I know he will.
For all of you that are weak and low right now, HANG IN THERE! It's not worth it! If your deppressed and suicidal right now, in the world you'll be worst! Been there, done that. I Love You all (AGAPE) and yes, often I've prayed to Jehovah for all the brothers and sisters around the world fighting this battle, long before I found this web-site, which by the way I just found it (6/04/05), after praying to Jehovah and telling him that I was tired of fighting this alone. Stay strong!
Sunday, May 22nd 2005 - 08:55:27 PM
Name: Phil E-mail address: Phil@witnesses.plus.com Homepage URL: http://www.witneses.plus.com Comments: Dear Aeryun,
We are sorry for the delay in putting your post up.
Frankly we considered long whether to do so. But as you posted it six times, you are evidently keen to make your point or pose your question. Thank you for your persistence!
To address your opening question first:
It may perhaps be helpful to illustrate this question with a physical example. There are persons who, though generally happy with their physical appearance, have some feature of it – perhaps a large ugly protruberant nose, for example - with which they are unhappy.
They may hate that one single feature so much, that they pay a surgeon a great deal of money to alter it. They don’t hate themselves because of that one ugly feature, but they may feel that it interferes with quality of life to a significant degree, and that it would be better to improve it if possible.
A person may have a physical difficulty which cannot be improved. A person may hate the fact that he or she lost a limb in an accident and now has a prosthetic one. But although the person may dislike the loss, and the difficulties imposed by the artificial limb, he need not hate himself – just the one undesirable feature.
So too with moral qualities. Surely we should appreciate our strengths, and deplore our weaknesses.
We might recognize and appreciate about ourselves that we are kind, considerate, patient, thoughtful of others’ feelings, for example, but at the same time realize that we have a tendency to laziness, or some other undesirable quality. Or we might be a very go-ahead, hard-working person, good at getting things done and we know that those are strengths, but we might also realize that we tend to trespass upon the feelings of others, and we may acknowledge that we should work on this.
In all those cases, we need not let the undesirable traits of our character bring us to a state of self-hatred.
Even so great a fighter for truth as the apostle Paul upon occasion called himself a ‘miserable man’ and acknowledged that he had to ‘pummel his body and lead it as a slave’. He recognized that there were problem aspects to his character that he needed to work on, but surely he did not hate himself.
Someone once said that “He who generalizes, generally lies”. We find your assertion that you are “Far more understanding and compassionate that a straight brother can ever be” patently absurd.
We know of many “straight brothers” who are kind, understanding, perceptive, compassionate individuals. And we have encountered plenty of “gay” persons who are shallow, selfish, uncomprehending and egotistical. There can surely be no one rule for all.
It may be admitted, however, that persons who face a particular difficulty, may, if they are wise, use it to develop useful qualities. A person who is confined to a wheelchair may develop great understanding and sympathy for others in a similar situation or in some other difficulty. He may. But he may not. If he is wise, he will.
Similarly, Christians who are coping with some unalterable difficulty of feeling, such as a homosexual orientation, if they are wise, will let it develop in them qualities that they may use to help them in their dealings with others.
It is currently our (editorial) view that a homosexual orientation is innate, congenital (though not necessarily genetic), of biological origin, and that it is not of ‘developmental’ origin.
But that does not make it right to indulge it. From the Christian perspective, the homosexual orientation, whatever its origin, is a manifestation of human imperfection arising from Adam’s sin. Yes, it is unfair. So are all the other manifestations of human imperfection. That is why Christians look to God’s Kingdom under Christ’s rulership to correct these faults – they are beyond human correction.
In the meantime, Christians are required to practice fidelity within marriage, and celibacy outside it. This is the understanding of Jehovah’s Witnesses. This Guestbook will not be the place, we feel, to enter into discussions about whether that understanding is correct. The homepage of this site makes it clear that the site, Guestbooks, and Forum, are for those who seek to hold to the Witnesses’ understanding of what the Bible says on sexual matters.
Having said all of this, we recognize the intensity of sexual feelings, and that coping with them can be, as Awake! magazine has said, can be “agonisingly difficult”.
It is to help with such difficulty that this site exists.
Friday, May 20th 2005 - 07:08:02 AM
Name: Aeryun Comments: How can you hate what is a part of you without hating yourself?
I was born this way. It feels right and natural. I can reason in my head that Jehovah does not allow for this and thus not do it. But to hate it means hating a part of myself. A part of myself that frankly, makes me "better" that so called straight people. Far more understanding and compassionate that a straight brother can ever be. What truley feels "sick" to me is to see a man and a woman together. Do you see what I'm saying? I've been through the ringer with the "hating the bad thing" routine. All that makes you do is hate yourself..."myself".
Friday, April 29th 2005 - 12:55:58 AM
Name: Dave Comments: Hi All,
I Brief hello to everyone. Nice to read everyones comments and encouragement. I'm 35, bought up in the truth and so far still here. Like us all have our good days and bad days but still here.
I'm from Sydney Australia and if any other Brothers from Aus read this then drop me an email.
Have known 8 other bros & sis who have left truth from being gay. All found it too hard. Loved them all and really miss them. The fact that most of you are still in the truth is a rare thing indeed, Congratulations, keep hanging in there.
The most helpful thing I have found is to pray to Jehovah that when you are feeling weak he keeps you from possibly bad situations. Opportunity + Weakness = Trouble. Sometimes, we all have had it, we have the opportunity to give in be immoral but we are strong and don't do it. Other times we are weak and might even go looking for it but can't find it... This I feel is Jehovah helping protect us. Jehovah understand us intimately.
Another thought that applies to us all is that we love what is good, ie the truth, but we don't always hate what is bad - ie we like to entertain our gay thoughts in our heads. Know one older gay brother who is now a servant and he helped himself by learning to hate his homosexual side, slowly readjusting his thinking. He knows he will never be perfect now but he also know if he entertains the thoughts he will go backwards.
All easily said, as I REALLY find it hard, but good ideas to work on hey!
Anyway off my soap box now and where was I ... HI and Goodbye.
Dave
Wednesday, April 27th 2005 - 10:38:03 PM
Name: Joshua Bailey Comments: I am a 24-year-old brother from the U.S. I just want to say that I'm encouraged deeply by the heartfelt comments made by other brothers who visit here, such as Anthony. I want you to know I feel the same way, as, I think, most, if not all, of us do. I've always felt different from everyone else--not just because I'm a witness, but even within the congregation. I've always felt like I'm just pretending to be normal, putting on this fake smile, while so confused and hurt inside. I once thought only Jehovah understood what I was going through, which was sustaining enough; but when I discovered this site, I realized I was not alone on this earth, which gave me a different kind of comfort and hope. Our real hope, though, will never change: only in Paradise will we be completely healed of whatever problems we have now, be they emotional, social, economic, mental, physical, or sexual. In the meantime, let us be assured that Jehovah, as well as our true brothers, will never stop loving us and wanting us to succeed in the race for life, though we may not always see them.
Monday, April 18th 2005 - 11:09:33 PM
Name: Anthony Comments: Hello,
I am so glad to have found this site. I have so much turmoil in me. I want to love God but also want to be loved (and to love) a man, especially a good-looking man. At least the single Bros and Sisters have a hope of fullfilling their desires once they find a mate, now or in the NW. But for us...
Thanks Phil for this site !!
Anthony
Wednesday, April 13th 2005 - 12:13:06 PM
Name: raymond Comments: Hi!
Thank you for this webpage
Wednesday, April 6th 2005 - 12:23:28 AM
Name: Frederick Comments: Hi..new here but very familiar with the content. I've recently come back into the truth after being away for a couple years. It's not without it's tremendous obstacles but I'm doing what I can. It's good to see other are drawing encouragement from one another so I hope to do the same.
Saturday, April 2nd 2005 - 03:54:32 AM
Name: david Comments: hi everyone, i posted on here a long time ago and have made a few good friends from it. for that i am truly thankful. i have been gay all my life, and was raised in the truth, but left the truth to live an immoral life for 15 years. i am now 35. i have been back for about two years and am having alot of problems making the adjustment.
i still have strong feelings towards men and dont know sometimes how much i can take. the elders in my congregation are very understanding but they dont *know* what im going through. i guess thats why i have come back to this site.
to talk to and get feedback from others in the same situation, and possibly make some more friends, one can never have enough of those. i WANT to do what is right, but at times feel myself losing control.
feel free to email or messenger me if you think you can give encouragement, or just to chat... i would greatly appreciate it, and i will check this site for feedback as well. thanks
david
Friday, April 1st 2005 - 10:01:26 PM
Name: Joshua Comments: Hello again,
Just want to say hi to the newcomers--don't have time to say anything else. I'll be back--don't worry!
Saturday, March 19th 2005 - 06:01:51 AM
Name: lily Comments: Hi again. Thanks mike for your speedy response- I appreciate it. Just want to let you know those suicidal thoughts are usually fleeting, and I just try not to let them linger. And I don't let temporary sadness and despair define me. For the most part I am a well-adjusted, happy, (kinda)normal person. Life just sometimes gets overwhelming, you know? But that's what we all have to deal with in these times of the end...I know I'm definitely not the only one. Got so much more to say but am dead tired and don't want to ramble. Hope you all are well. Good night.
Friday, March 18th 2005 - 06:35:33 AM
Name: Michael Comments: To A.I.
Don't even think about killing yourself! You have friends here. Your life is not worthless by any means. Please. E-mail me if you need help.
Mike
Friday, March 18th 2005 - 01:59:52 AM
Name: lily Comments: Hello everyone. I am a sister in the US who found this website a few days ago. I've felt extremely isolated and frequently suicidal lately because of my feelings, and I was sure there had to be other witnesses out there that feel similarly and are really trying to stick to the truth. I initially felt guilty about looking for them on the internet because of all the caution we receive about the dangers online, and I didn't want to stumble into anything apostate. I was so happy to find your site, and after reading the messages and info for hours I am certain that I am safe here, that the people here are sincere and want to serve Jehovah, and I have been crying my eyes out because I feel like I can find a lot of desperately needed support here. I just want to say thank you, and I hope to get to know you better. From what I've read there is a good rapport among the people here, I desperately need that support now.
Monday, March 14th 2005 - 12:50:25 AM
Name: A.I. Comments: Hi, I guess I'm another "heterosexualy challenged" person, lol. You've all probably read something similar like this, but I think this is a really serious problem I'm having. I'm only 17 and I've had thoughts of killing myself because of how useless my life could be. I never did anything to hurt myself though, it was only in my thoughts and probably something I will never do, because my parents need me.
I'm a strong believer that Jehovah could help me, its just that sometimes I get so carried away with thoughts that I may never live a normal life like everyone else.
Friday, March 11th 2005 - 08:50:33 PM
Name: n Comments: Carlos
There are a few things that can be done:
First do you go to your computer for the purpose of viewing porn? Then DON'T turn the computer on. Also, you need a gameplan for when you feel like giving in. What I do is go to my room get on my knees and pray, outloud. Tell Jehovah exactly what you are thinking and feeling. That yes I really want to look at porn even though I know it's wrong. He knows that anyway but when you hear yourself say it outloud it really does help.
Also, have you told someone in your congregation about your addiction? I have someone who checks on me and if I do have a relapse will ask me some very pointed questions.
In the final analysis only you can break the addiction. Lots of prayer and DAILY bible reading. I am amazed what daily bible reading does for my heart and mind.
Friday, March 11th 2005 - 01:44:27 PM
Name: Todd Grady Comments: Hey Carlo,
You're right, addictions are very difficult. I'll just share with you something that's helped me, kay? Hope you don't mind. Okay, here we go....
Please keep in mind that no matter what it is we face in life, Jehovah (being the universal doctor) only has to write one prescription for the whole human race in order to help us with our problems. You know what that prescription is - Love Jehovah with everything, and love your neighbor AS YOURSELF. Carlo buddy, I know you know this, but please remember that you are totally poisoning your mind with pornography, and whatever you dwell on most you make bigger, so the more you look at it, the more food you're feeding that homo monster in your head (we've all got the monster, don't worry!) =:~<thorn> Love yourself (& Jehovah of course) enough to tell yourself that you're not going to poison your brain anymore. Pray to Jehovah wholeheartedly for the self-control, and get rid of your computer if you have to (you wouldn't be the first person, I didn't have a computer for years for a similar reason!!) YOU CAN DO IT BUDDY!!! Feel free to email me whenever you need to!! - Todd
Sunday, March 6th 2005 - 02:50:17 PM
Name: carlo Comments: Dear everyone,
this is my first time writing here. A fella introduce me this site. I can surely understand how some of us feel in this situation. No question it is hard.
I am in a situation. Im struggling with porn addiction. I had my ups and downs. And it seems like Im a kind of person who constatntly need supports from those who feel the same. I mean constantly,, u know how hard it is to beat any kind of addiction in your life.
I am a JW for 10 yrs now. And I am still. All I need is understanding and encouragement. I have just read this site about a man who told his stories, how he fight this feeling for years and finally "get out" of organization and now "live happily" with another man. I don't wanna end like that. But the passion is without a stop. So I really appreciate if there is someone who would willing to stay in touch with me (thru this line of communication of course). There is no formula that we can follow exactly. Ive learned that from my experience. We change everyday.... like a spot in the wheel...
Anyway, i just really need to stay in touch with u guys. Im a person who has kinda lack of self discipline.... (i dunno)... so can u tell me what i need to do...
If ur interested please mail me.. better yet when u r online lets talk via messenger.. everyone is welcome...
bye...
carlo
Tuesday, March 1st 2005 - 07:36:01 PM
Name: Lin Comments: Dear fellow believers,
Still following this site from time to time. It makes me pray for strength for all of us and stay close to Jehovah. I even wish I could embrace you all in person, in my heart I do...
Although I am still on an emotion rollercoaster I see the sun shining also from time to time.
Whatever happens, or whatever is going on in the congregations: try to stay close to Jehovah. He is our personal father! Although he has many childeren, every single one of us is a precious, different, child to him. And never forget: He does not see you how man sees you, he looks MUCH deeper......
(1Sam.16:7 / 1Kron.29:17 / Jer.17:10)
Psalms is an encouraging book to read. But there is also an
Elvis song wich I find encouraging and it is called ''walk a mile in my shoes''...
It is true.
Thank you all for sharing, and Phil for this great site!
Agape,
Lin
Monday, February 28th 2005 - 06:28:34 PM
Name: N Comments: My dear brothers and sisters,
Were you not encouraged by today's text? I so much appreciated the statement "a struggling person is not a bad person" and that "in addition to seeing the one time that we may have failed, Jehovah sees the MANY times when we did not." We are all struggling. Those with SSA and those in the cong who may know of our orientation and not understand fully our plight. We all need to be merciful and compassionate with each other no matter what our struggles. I appreciate the understanding and compassion I have received from all of you. Stay focused and stay strong. Much Christian love.
Thursday, February 24th 2005 - 07:16:59 PM
Name: nebby Comments: hi annie,
many thanks for your second post. i wish you Jehovah's blessing in your strougle in live too, whatever they may be.
Tuesday, February 22nd 2005 - 08:53:33 AM
Name: Annie Comments: To All Readers!
I have received a few e-mails regarding my Feb 7th comment, and I would like to take this time to apologize for my comments, which I now see appeared harsh and judgemental. Trust me, I am the last person on this earth to judge another.Talk about skeletons in a closet! Anyway, this seems to be a noble and sincere site and I hope that you all get the help and support here, that you may lack in your congregations. Stay true and keep running the good race. Jehovah IS a loving and merciful God who will judge us all by what is in the core of our hearts, love yourselfs, because He loves us!
Wednesday, February 16th 2005 - 09:57:59 PM
Name: J.B. Comments: In response to Annie's comment, dated Feb. 7, 2005:
I doubt if you are interested in visiting this site again to see this response, unless you merely intend to discourage your brothers and sisters here. I'm sorry, I retract that comment; you're probably well-meaning, but, and I apologize for saying this, ignorant, not unlike most in the congregation, I would suspect.
I just want to point out that your reasoning is somewhat faulty. If it is, admittedly, a sin to even think upon an attraction to the same sex, isn't it just as much a sin to think upon an attraction to the opposite sex? If marriage is the only God-given opportunity for sexual release to be acceptable, all other forms of practiced sexuality--which includes homosexuality and other forms of porneia--are strictly forbidden. Wouldn't you be fooling yourself to say that you have not had an occasional immoral thought?
This website is a forum for those of us in the faith who--much like you heterosexual brothers and sisters--need support to keep our minds on "whatever things are chaste, whatever things are pure." It is a challenge for all of us to keep our minds focused on what is pure; we are, however, admittedly, sinful. Further, we recognize Jehovah's mercy and the provision of His son's blood in covering our daily sins. We do not here advocate dwelling on sinful thoughts; nor do the contributors or authors of this site intend for this site to be used as a dating service. On the contrary, we believe our intention to be one in harmony with Jehovah's will to minister and "incite to love and fine works" in this time of the end. I hope this clears up any misunderstanding that anyone may have as regards the intention and purpose of this site and of our brothers and sisters contributing.
Friday, February 11th 2005 - 10:25:41 PM
Name: J.B. Comments: Hey everyone,
I'm a 23-year-old brother in the midwestern U.S.A. raised in the truth and still trying to strengthen my relationship with Jehovah and to make real friends in the truth. I've suffered from depression since I was in highschool (which was around the time I discovered I was attracted only to other guys). Although I've accepted this aspect of myself, and even used it at times as a source of strength (Paul, for instance, rejoiced in his weaknesses, so that God might make His glory manifest), I have not told anyone about it except people online to whom I have no risk of revealing my complete identity. So no one knows me, really, except Jehovah, which I'm sure is the way most of you also feel. It's depressing when I think about it, but I've kind of trained myself not to really feel the pain. I know this isn't natural or healthy, though, because my relationship with Jehovah and, subsequently, my spiritual health is likewise deadening as a result. I'm tired of feeling this way--or not feeling. Please write me if you think you would want me as a friend. Thanks.
Monday, February 7th 2005 - 01:34:30 PM
Name: Phil E-mail address: Phil@witnesses.plus.com Homepage URL: http://witnesses.plus.com Comments: Dear Annie,
If you had read the introduction page of the site carefully, you would have noted that the word "gay" is used in its old-fashioned sense of "merry or carefree".
It is the aim of this site to be of assistance to Witnesses coping with feelings of same-sex attraction.
Those feelings, like many other kinds of feeling we have - such as desire of a married person for the spouse of another - are sinful, and we must fight them. It is the purpose of this site to assist with that, and to help those coping with the homosexual "thorn in the flesh" to feel a little more merry and carefree, if possible.
If you are interested in this topic, please research the Watchtower publications. A very good starting point is p370/371 of the book "Reasoning From the Scriptures". You will find references to other articles on the Literature page of this site.
If in addition, you have any observation which you think would be of practical help in coping with this or any other "thorn in the flesh", I am sure that we would be interested to hear them.
Monday, February 7th 2005 - 11:02:04 AM
Name: annie Comments: is there really such a thing as a "gay witness", is it not a sin to even think about having relations with a person of the same sex, how can one say that they are gay, and a witness at the same time, just because you don't act on your impulses, does this make it ok? Everyone here seems sincere, but are'nt you all just fooling yourselfs?
Saturday, February 5th 2005 - 02:13:57 AM
Name: NQ Comments: Robert,
I applaud you for making the effort to communicate yourself though your English is limited. Please know that you are loved and supported here. I have made so many friends worldwide from this site. I am convinced more then ever of Jehovah's love for all those who fight this thorn in the flesh. What a wonderful text for this year! Because of our imperfections our brothers may disappoint us from time to time. It is especially hard when those with oversight fail to understand but JEHOVAH IS OUR HELPER.How I have come to love and appreciate Jehovah's loving patience. Stay focused. Don't forget the big picture.
Saturday, January 29th 2005 - 06:18:28 PM
Name: Robert Comments: Dear Friends! Write something to me, please. My English is very weak, but I will try to understand your email's (Is there somebody knowing Polish tongue?) . I would want to recognize authentic friends "in Truth". I want myself senses normal and accepted. Help me, please.
I apply "reparative therapy" and I am very satisfied from her of results. I feel considerably better. I improve also contacts with my father- I am sure that this lack of father inclined my heart.
I need only to recognize real friends "in Truth", which similarly to Me they want to last at Jehovah's to New World.
I do not want in order to they wrote to me of any apostate.
See you in New World!
Robert
Friday, January 28th 2005 - 09:20:57 AM
Name: Robert Comments: Greeting from Poland for My Dear Brothers and Sisters. I'm sorry for my poor english. I'm 33 y.o and baptized in 1987 . I have wife and 2 sons. My wife know My problem, but I felt very wrong with My hearts secrets. I did not know that if exist OUR domain with HELPs for Jehova Witness, therefore I joined to myself group for peoples go out from homosexualism, which is driven through catolic monk. I read Nicolosi very much, but always I felt lonely in own world. I know now that this result of low value feeling. I want to permament experience by hook or by crook and entire heart and mind of cure. Do not give up you. My favourite verse: Psalm 40:1-3. Robert
Monday, January 24th 2005 - 03:09:16 AM
Name: Fellow Sufferer Comments: I have to concur with Ethan. Brothers with earrings will have no one lending their ears to them. As far as I'm aware, the congs will NOT let such a brother go on stage. They may even be barred from service until they remove the offending earring(s).
In the West, there was a time when men didn't use umbrellas. So who knows, in time changing tastes might cause an acceptance of brothers with studs and droops.
Personally, I can not see myself with earrings. The only jewellry I wear is my timepiece.
Cheerios!
Saturday, January 22nd 2005 - 09:25:52 AM
Name: Ethan Comments: Hello Lin,
Thank you for sharing your touching story. I hate to correct seemingly insignificant details but I can assure you that even in congregations in Amsterdam or anywhere else in the Netherlands a brother would not be assigned a part at the meeting while he's wearing an ear ring. having lived in Holland for almost 30 years I am pretty sure of that.
Thursday, January 20th 2005 - 04:49:29 PM
Name: Lin Comments: Hi dear Declan,
Please don't apologise for your thoughts or reasoning. It is okey :-)
Well, in my case there is no defination of the Klinefelter syndrome. I have lirned from my therapist that the 'programming of your beeing' has not specific to do with that. My therapist was intersexual. Lived for 33 as male and had a homosexual relationship with a man. Something stayed wrong she explained. That's where she started a sex-correction. In her case it ment that they removed her functional penis. So, her male genitals were completely develouped. The chromosome-thing stands loose from the 'programming' of your beeing. Her beeing was programmed female although she was 80% male in body. What or where it went wrong in the develoupment of a baby in the womb is hard to say. But the result is comparable with an Apple Mac. pc that is endowed with Micosoft Windows. It does not work together. Some doctors dare to say that GD is an other, deeper, twig of intersexuality... But it's a hard thing to lay hands on. It just sucks if you suffer from it that's all I know for 200%.
You know, sometimes it is hard for me to picture what homosexual feelings are, how strange it may sound. Although I still wear a female body my thoughts are hetero-sexual. I try to understand and lose myself in it. To see so many suffer from it and to know that
in most cases it is not a choice! I had helped a young teenager in my congregation who is HS. He was suicidal. I did everything to keep him close to the congregation and Jehovah. His parents knew about his problem but they couldn't get through him. He trusted me more but he didn't know why. We got a special friendship, although I was 18 older, and we became more mates, but that was because I did, and experianced, things from out my male-ness. When I told him, much later, about my GD he said: NOW I know why you were so good in understanding me! It takes a man to understand a man. You did understand me so deeply, and I never could figure out why you did that so well, now I do...''. So, the kind of chemistry male friends, mates, have with eachother I had automaticly too. I never could have such chemistry with female friends.
Declan, you made a point by saying that humans would suffer in the flesh and we can lirn from that. To live with many limits and restrictions, we could develoup other sides of our soul and feelings. If we only take this homepage and the understanding and support people give eachother is a proove of that. I also think that people who doesn't really experianced the struggle we all have, they never will understand it completely. That is why this homepage is such a blessing. And indeed it were more darker times before I could (dare) share this with a fellow JW believer(s)... And your words and all support I read in this group encoyrage me indeed.
In the area and congregation where I live people are not smooth about HS (or GD) people. We have an elder who said once: 'if a homosexual person appears on t.v. I turn the t.v. set off'. What a sad person he is. In a congregation in Amsterdam a brother can do a lecture on stage with an earring in his ear. In my area they get a warning and advise to stay off stage. It is a short impression where I have to deal with. It makes it not easyer...
Before I'm writing a book here, I better close this part.
Thanks for 'listening'.......
Agape,
(SE) Lin
Thursday, January 20th 2005 - 04:32:33 AM
Name: Fellow Sufferer in His 30s Comments: Davey,
Hang in there. Easier said then done, and yes, I've done it and am still doing it, and so are many others around the world. I am about your age, and have had to fight, fight and fight. Have I said that I've also had to fight?
Remember to take good care of yourself. That is, eat well, sleep aplenty, exercise regularly, read a lot, enjoy life and learn to really love yourself.
The truth is, a person's sexuality only defines part of who he or she is. Therefore, if there's a defect there, we must not let that affect the whole. Then again, that's easier said than done. But many of us are doing it.
How many crippled persons refuse to let their wheelchair limit them? How many visually impaired ones live full lives? How many of us are taking medication for this or that and still live active Christian lives? So why should we let those feelings of unnatural attraction sentence us unfavorably?
You are not alone. Remember this year's Year Text. And yes, keep writing!
Love,
Another Fellow Sufferer
Wednesday, January 12th 2005 - 09:24:50 AM
Name: Davey Comments: I would like to say how welcoming I find this website to brothers facing the issues of being gay and would like to hear from other brothers facing the same similar things that I am going through. I am 30 and wondering what to do next since I have not got a clue. Hope there is someone out there who can help me out.
Tuesday, January 11th 2005 - 10:39:03 PM
Name: Declan Comments: Dear SE LIN, I can't imagine the sense of alientaion you feel as a result of your unique challenge. I'm sorry it has laid you so low and you seem to be fading away as a result of it. I have seen some reports on your situation but am sure I have no clue compared to someone who lives it. Is it possible to genetically determine whether or not you are actually male? probably a stupid or rude question...sorry. I was just thinking that if you genetically could prove your true sex it may be a case for change and subsequent reentry to the congregation. I apologize if this was a careless line of reasoning...it is rather a new situation to me.
On a different note, I understand how you feel when you say you have to act like someone you are not. I think all of us who read this guestbook understand what it is like to hide from or decieve others we know and love in our lives. There is no easy answer or trick that will aleviate your pain and discomfort in this area. Time and focus on why we must hide our situation are important elements in success. In time we learn to maneuver through bad situations and also to not feel guilty for acting contrary to what comes "naturally" because we do it to conquer Satan's ploy to separate us from God and his organization. We maintain focus on why we do this and the larger issues involved. We may suffer in the flesh for this but Jesus said we would, right? Our suffering may be harsher than it is for others, but it furnishes us with an opportunity to praise Jehovah in a large way.
We have each other and the strength that comes from validation and encouragement. Remember what it was like before you could talk to anyone about this? Those were dark times, much more desperate than now. You can build on that and begin to realize there is nothing wrong with you. Yes, you have this confusing sexual problem and its ramifications, but you are still a person. You have feelings, hopes, dreams, strengths, a past, things to share, and most importantly value to Jehovah; this being scripturally undeniable. You are not different from anyone in these most vital ways. These things define us...our positive attributes and the living soul we are. No one is better than you [or any of us] since sin is active in ALL of mankind. If anyone says anything contrary to this, you will know they are agents of satan; to be ignored. When a person is able to accept himself, like himself and realize his value he becomes a powerful force for good and a useful tool for God. When we feel less than or ugly or somehow disgusting to the brothers we rob ourselves of that clean standing Jehovah has given us and become weak and defenseless to satan's attacks. It is important you feel part of the brotherhood and not somehow outside looking in.
I realize these things are easier said than done, but possible and evident in many of our brothers who have dealt with horrible challenges. Just take one step and then another. You will be ok as long as you DO NOT give up.
Your Brother Declan
Monday, January 10th 2005 - 05:01:16 PM
Name: SE-Lin Comments: Hello dear fellow believers of Jehovah,
It is so encouraging to see that strength can be given through this wonderful homepage!
I have visited this site for some months. I ended up here because because of my Transsexuality (F/M. It is something I suffer from my whole life, and it's almost an impossible life...When I got baptized in 1990 I prayed and hoped things would finaly change in me. But it didn't. It is not what I ''think'' it is who/what I ''am''.
I'm hanging in the middle of nowhere. Much too Godfearing to be part of the world and too ''odd'' to belong in the congregation because I have to put up an act and I can't hold it up anymore. I am not real and feel like a drag-queen. I feel like a liar and I can't bring that into Jehovahs congregation. I also think maybe I become poison.
Not because what I do, since I live a quite clean and Godfearing life, but because of who/what I am.
That is why I don't visit them anymore.
I DO visit the congresses every year in another country where nobody knows me, so I can wear trousers and nobody can/will give comment on that. But I miss the normal way of a JW life. The tears I shed because of that can fill buckets. I just feel terrible about it all.
A few sisters of my congregation knows about my situation.
Although they can't help me eighter, they stand by me and I am very greatful for that.
I met a JW through this homepage who is also TS and I had a nice e-mail contact with this person, but the adress is not valid anymore. I feel quite alone in this right now.
I miss talking to fellow JW SO much. I am visiting the self-support groups of TS in Amsterdam, but although most are very nice people, they do not have that spiritual mind.
I hope to find that a little in this group....
Many agape love,
SE-Lin
Tuesday, December 28th 2004 - 08:29:01 PM
Name: D. sister Comments: Presumptuous, indiscretion
Proverbs 18:13
Proverbs 25:9,11,23
Judging spirit
Romans 14:1-4
1Cor. 4:1-5
I think these passages in Paul's letters might help?
Also, just preparing the book study in the Draw Close book. Don't you wish we could have Jesus on our body of elders?
He's watching them, though.
Agape,
Your sister in the faith here
Tuesday, December 28th 2004 - 01:25:56 PM
Name: Phil E-mail address: Phil@witnesses.plus.com Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: Very interesting observations, Cafeaulait. I will read the article.
The Society's literature over the years has stressed the need for elders to maintain confidentiality. I was thinking of looking up some of the references, and you spur me to it.
The 1991 WT I quoted below, makes clear the need for elders to exercise self-control in this regard, but also makes it clear that, at the time of writing at least, many of them did not.
Personally, I believe that a failure of an elder to keep a matter confidential, would seriously call into question his qualification to serve. It is such a basic requirement.
I am not saying, of course, that elders should fail to report things that NEED to be reported, like a confession of a serious crime, for example. An elder could hardly keep it confidential if I confessed that I had murdered my granny and hid her body under the stairs!
But in matters that are private, and which no-one has a right to know, and which we disclose simply to get comfort and support, SURELY we have a right to expect confidentiality.
Individuals can be terribly hurt if there is failure in this matter. And to see one who has seriously failed in this regard continue to serve in a responsible position, would surely add to the hurt, and lead to distrust of the whole body of elders, and a reluctance ever to approach any of them again.
Tuesday, December 28th 2004 - 08:37:01 AM
Name: Cafeaulait Comments: It's very interesting that I just read an article that discusses this very subject in the New York Times: keeping the confidences of others! In this case, it deals specifically with doctors, but the principles apply to the appointed men, also. It is particularly relevant to me, since the ONLY person I have discussed this issue with is my family doctor. The author of the article discusses the trust that society puts in doctors, but laments the lack of training medical students receive in this area. He observes:
"A person's trust in you, in medicine, in society's ability to assure someone's safe passage through illness requires learning quickly how to keep secrets."
My point is that perhaps some of the elders have not been trained properly in this area. (I am not being overly critical of them, simply making an observation.) If non-Witnesses who are bound by law to keep confidentiality have problems with this, why not the elders! Interestingly, my family doctor is gay (how ironic!), but encouraged me to seek out other Witnesses on the Internet who are facing this challenge. It is because of him that I discovered JW Support, the BHF Site, and this site. (Of course, I realized that I had to avoid sites that were clearly apostate and/or run by disfellowshipped ones.)
My doctor asks all of his new patients their sexual orientation, because certain health issues are inextricably linked to this. I initially lied to him, but as I began to discuss my clinical depression to him, I had to open up about the causes of it. On my last visit, I asked him why he continues to have this question on his initial screening paperwork, and he stated that "I don't want my patients to feel they are the only one and that they are alone". Very astute for a worldly physician! I also want to reiterate the point that you have to be careful to whom you disclose your secrets. I felt that I could trust my doctor and felt comfortable discussing this with him. You have to trust your instincts in this area. At any rate, the article is located at:
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/28/health/28essa.html (You have to register to have access to the article, but it is free)
Hope this sheds some light on this subject!
Cafe
Tuesday, December 28th 2004 - 01:06:20 AM
Name: Phil E-mail address: Phil@witnesses.plus.com Homepage URL: http://witnesses.plus.com Comments: I think I'd like to make one or two further comments in response to "fellow sufferer".
I guess from your report of the elders' use of the expression "clear and present danger", that you are in the USA, for that is an expression coined in 1917 by a US Justice, in relation to whether printed material - words - could need to be taken seriosly, as inducements to, or almost in themselves as, actions.
In this case, the "clear and present danger" to the congregations, would seem to me to be from the attitude of some of its elders!
It seems to me frankly disgraceful that you extended yourself hoping for support and encouragement and got in return, breach of connfidentiality and the suggestion that they could easily think you a potential paedophile.
My stricture here is based of course on your report as you recall it, but I sense your real chagrin and bitterness. Try not to let bitterness consume you though. "A calm heart is the life of the fleshly organism".
In such situations, where there appears to be grounds for grave concern over the manner in which a matter has been handled, it would not be wrong for an individual to write a respectful and earnest letter to the Service Desk at Bethel outlining the grounds for concern and requesting scriptural adive as to how to proceed.
Monday, December 27th 2004 - 10:10:35 AM
Name: nebby Comments: Hi all, hi fellow,
I am so sorry to read what happened to you, but at the same time glad to see that you could change your situation for your better. Like in many situations, only time shows the truth abouta a person, or Jehova takes care.
You know airsmiles...this time I totaly agree with you. Hope you calmed down a bit :-)
Sendin you all my love
nebby
Friday, December 24th 2004 - 12:56:30 AM
Name: Phil E-mail address: Phil@witnesses.plus.com Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: Dear fellow sufferer,
I'm sorry to read of your unpleasant and disappointing experience. Such things can be a real trial. From your description, it is difficult to see how the response of your confidant, or of the elders, was scriptural in this instance.
It is a fact, of course, that mistakes and misjudgements will occur - the congregations are cared for by humans, not angels.
The Watchtower of 15th November 1991 has a Study article entitled "An Overseer Must Be ....Self-controlled", which in paragraph 19 states:
"The obligation to maintain confidentiality also requires that an elder be alert to practice firm self-control. Pertinent here is the counsel "Do not reveal the confidential talk of another" (Proverbs 25:9) Experience suggests that this may be one of the most widely violated requirements among elders"
It certainly behoves one then, as you suggest, to think very carefully before confiding any private matter.
Of course, it is a human need and tendency to seek support from those we believe to be sympathetic friends. (See the Rationale page of this site for comments about this, including quotes from Awake!). But it is good to reflect on the comment on Proverbs 14:10 in The Watchtower of November 15 2004:
"This proverb also teaches that although it is comforting to turn to an empathetic friend for support, humans are limited in the comfort they can offer. We may have to rely on Jehovah alone when it comes to enduring some difficulties."
Sometimes when difficulties have arisen, it may be that a move of congregations is the best answer. But it can also be that given time, things can change if one perseveres. I recall a situation from some years ago when the attitude of three elders in my congregation on a matter seemed to me to be unscriptural. The more I researched the literature, the more I felt they were mistaken, and I found their attitude difficult. Well, in time all three stopped serving as elders, and the one with the attitude I'd found really challenging, very sadly left the way of the Truth.
Jesus said that "wisdom is proved righteous by its works" (Matthew 11:19), and sometimes it just takes time for this to become apparent. In the situation I mentioned, how would I have benfitted if I had quickly taken offence and had left the Christian congregation? (I am in fact a person who can easily tend to take offence, and I repeat Ecclesiastes 7:9 to myself to counter the tendency!).
An excellent Watchtower article from 1987 entitled "Help in making wise decisions" makes some fine points about how we feel and how we should react when situations arise in the congregation.
It's good to know that you were able to secure well-paid employment. Of course, as Christians we heed the Master's counsel in the Sermon on the Mount about the relative values of material and spiritual riches,(Matthew 6:19,20) and the wisdom of using our secular resources in spiritually sound ways so as to be friends of God and Christ (Luke 16:9).
I don't normally make long posts to the Guestbook now - more extensive scriptural discussions are generally reserved for the Message Forum on the site.
But I wanted to say welcome, and to comment on some of the things you wrote. I hope that you find encouragment here.
Best regards,
Phil.
Thursday, December 23rd 2004 - 10:02:11 PM
Name: alex Comments: dear fellow sufferer,
of course this is a natural thing to want to open our heart to someone and jump on the occasion to do it. Unfortunately, it's not because we so badly need to do so that it turns the people around clever and spiritual enough to just know how to handle this new type of information they have never been confronted to so far. I just imagine this THING is so alien to their pattern of thinking that it makes it almost impossible for them to understand exactly what it really means (and does NOT mean). Being friend or not does not make any change in their reaction. It's probably a "survival mechanism" which makes them act as if highly endangered. Anyway, your experience just confirms that finding an understanding ear is indeed very rare. Some have managed to do it though. But they took big risks. I never did.
Just as an illustration, I am just coming back from the meeting, where our CO's talk included a part on being faithful and also what it meant towards new ways of thinking in the world concerning homosexuality. He said, literally that "some have these tendencies, but we know that with the help of the Bible one can change, it's not like if it was caused by heredity or a sort of indefeasible thing...". Sad to hear, especially from a CO ! But just a hint of what our fellow brothers and sisters believe on that matter. Nothing can change this unless Jehovah teaches everyone the real truth. I do not think we can ever do that before He decides it is now the time to make it clear to anyone. And I doubt this will happen in this system.
love to everyone
Alex
Thursday, December 23rd 2004 - 05:29:44 PM
Name: airsmiler Comments: Hi Rather,
Off I go again...my blood is boiling!
That was absolutely disgraceful for that brother to say that to you! Shame on him! See that friend of yours, a dark alley would have sorted that fella out! What a dirty underhanded thing to do!
Some of the gay brothers might be tolerant of brothers who act this way maybe thinking that they are acting this way out of ignorance, victims of their own inbred predudices.
Sorry guys you give these people far to much leeway!I absolutely abhor this kind of conduct it is truly intolerable in this day and age how dare he imply that you might be a potential pedophile! People lijke that make my blood boil. And to use Jehovah's place of worship to spout this poison, well this in is unbelievably deplorable.
The vast majority of pedophiles come from among the ranks of married men. In my country in recent years there has been some very shocking high profile cases of child abuse in some of the congregations, sickeningly the majority were married men and a proportion of them brought great shame on us all because they were appointed men. In not one case was it ever a gay brother!!!!!
I agree with you that if we want to divulge what is very personal to us then it should take months of working out and then .......forget it.... there are to many risks.
I have used up my bank of adjectives without actually swearing or anything here I better go and calm down.
Thursday, December 23rd 2004 - 06:04:43 AM
Name: Fellow Sufferer Comments: I feel prompted to share my experience after reading Mark's post. You may eventually need to confess your struggles to a trusted brother in person. It really does help. But be EXTREMELY judicious with whom you speak.
I have always been able to keep my feelings to myself. Then a few years ago, a string of deaths and family illnesses eventually took a toll on my mental strength. I was beginning to suffer from depression, as I was also serving as a f/t servant in a large metropolitan area, which is in itself a more stressful environment.
Eventually, I found myself crying spontaneously in private and drowning in all my responsibilities. My ability to control my then developing overwhelming attraction to men was also weakening. So I decided to speak confidentially to a good friend of mine, who was nearly a decade my senior, had gone through MTS and was a reg-pio with many privileges. I genuinely felt better after discussing my problems along with other issues that were then plaguing my heart.
Big mistake.
The following week, after the TMS & SM, my PO and this other elder whom I've always treated as a peer, asked to see me in the KD Hall library. I thought: Okay, there's another task that needs doing. I was then using tasks to help keep myself focused.
The PO started the meeting with: "You recently revealed something about yourself to so-and-so..."
I thought: Oh my goodness...
then the PO continued "...we need to determine if you are a clear and present danger to the boys in our hall..."
I nearly vomitted on the spot. There had been absolutely nothing in my behavior or what I've disclosed that could have warranted such an extreme knee-jerk reaction from my under-educated PO.
I was in shock. I could not believe my good friend would use my disclosure to hurt me like that. Later on, I realized that apparently a sister he liked was secretly admiring me. Of course, I didn't know that. I was so young, and somewhat clueless when it comes to matters of love and matrimony. And since I am a masculine person, no one would have suspected that I really did not like sisters. So basically, the elder to whom I had trusted blindingly had used my own words to assassinate my character.
Subsequently, I found out more elders were told "in the spirit to help" me.
Right.
I had to make a hard decision. I am, of course, still in the truth. But I have moved away from that congregation and that city. I decided to complete my "higher education" so as to escape the tyranny of those elders and never ever be trapped in a system of worship whose policy practically guarantees that its members remain unemployable for higher-skilled positions with correspondingly better pay.
Now, I still get a lot of attention from sisters, but of course, I play the "I'm still young" game. I make more money than those elders' salaries combined. And I frankly don't care how people are going to use my words to hurt me.
But the moral of my unfortunate experience is this: BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL TO WHOM YOU POUR YOUR GUTS OUT
Thursday, December 23rd 2004 - 03:48:27 AM
Name: Vigoureaux Comments: There was a talk on this week’s Service Meeting titled “Strengthen Your Hands”.
1 Samuel 23:16 was referenced indicating that "to strengthen one’s hand is to be fortified and empowered for action.” This particular scripture talks about how Jonathan went to encourage David, since Jonathan’s father, Saul, was trying to kill David. David and Jonathan had a deep love for each other and sometimes it occurs to me, at least in my case, that this particular love is what I am really looking for in my friendship with another.
The point I am trying to make is that I find it helpful sometimes when I am able to take out of a talk or an article (in this case the talk was based on WT article) those elements that apply directly to my own personal struggle. This particular reminder occurred because I took the time to do some “sidebar” type research, even though it was somewhat unrelated to the theme of the article.
Sometimes when either we are reading an article or a thought comes to our minds, the “sidebar” research, our own exploration and search, are the things that strengthen our own hands. This is a way that we are actually empowered to strengthen our own hands. It can occur anytime, while reading the daily text, preparation for a meeting, field service or actually during deep personal prayer.
In this case my search for what I think I want, which is the love from another man was clearly depicted in the bible. Obviously this particular love was clean in Jehovah’s eyes since it is mentioned repeatedly (1 Samuel 18:1; 20:17; 2Samuel 1:26) even though both of these Bible characters were married and had offspring.
It also is an aide to keeping my mind off my unclean imperfections which are an integral part of my struggle.
So, anyway, I won’t babble on any further.
Thanks for allowing me to share my thoughts.
Vigoureaux
Monday, December 20th 2004 - 09:27:14 PM
Name: spiraljoe Comments: I am 37. I was baptized at 19 and have been struggling to overcome my gayness all along. I was DF'd once for it and may be again soon. I've been married to a woman for the past 14 years who has now asked for a divorce. I'm in the midst of the worst possible pain in my entire life.
Any one who wants to write a fellow tormented soul, please do. Up front: I believe this is the Truth and I don't want any apostates contacting me. Thanks.
Thursday, December 16th 2004 - 12:24:58 AM
Name: Mark Comments: What up, everyone? I'm 23, from the midwest, raised in the Truth, and am still so confused and frustrated with my sexuality. There's no one I can talk to I can be COMPLETELY honest with. No one that I know of who would understand what it's like. I hope I can find help at this site. Or at least a sympathetic ear without being judged. Looking forward to getting to know some of you!
Thursday, December 9th 2004 - 05:55:48 AM
Name: Joshua Bailey Comments: Hi, my pen name is Joshua Bailey, and I'm 23 years old. I'm not here to exhaust everyone, including myself, with an abundance of words to try to understand why I'm this way, explaining my life story, et cetera--I've done that already all my life. I'm tired of analyzing constantly and explaining. If anyone is really interested about me, he can email me.
That said, I am posting, not for my benefit so much anymore (since I am a little older now, and have accepted my identity and I am hopeful), but for the young ones posting on this site. I really wish I could meet each of you and be like a big brother, and prove to you how normal we are--that we don't have to assume the fate of homosexuals consumed by Satan's world, untamed and violent in their lust.
But more than anything, I don't want you to feel like you're alone. Even if there's no person on the face of the earth who really knows you, take heart, because Jehovah, knowing everything about you, even why you are the way you are, really does love even you, and invites you to be His friend. Of course, you probably know all this. I just can't help saying it again. I guess there are no words that can express my empathy for each of you, and I wish we could comfort each other personally.
Even though this web forum cannot take the place of seeing and hearing a person, which I may never find with someone who has these feelings within the congregation, this site is, nevertheless, a blessing. Without such a place, we might continue thinking we're all alone, having no human support directly related to this overwhelming aspect of ourselves, and we could easily convince ourselves to give up--in the truth, or in this life. Even with the support from our friends here, we continue to have these thoughts from time to time, but it makes us a little more joyful to know we're all struggling together (Heb. 10: 24,25).
No matter what, however, it is Jehovah who sustains us, or who will sustain us if we keep asking Him with a sincere heart, and it is His spirit, working through His various channels, mainly His Word, that will empower us through whatever we're undergoing (Phil. 4: 6,7,13).
Sunday, December 5th 2004 - 07:31:21 AM
Name: Your Sister in the Mountains Comments: To my Brothers and Sisters
I am here for three reasons.
The first is because my dear friend, M., with whom my parents had the privilege of helping into the truth, is remaining faithful to Jehovah in his singleness while struggling with his homosexuality, going on 20 years. He is very precious to me and my parents, although we have been separated by time and distance for the last 11 years.
(He may be checking in from time to time at this site, I have no idea.) But for anyone reading this who is remaining faithful to Jehovah in integrity, you are so very precious to Jehovah and to many many of your spiritual brothers and sisters!!!! We love you intensely from the heart. Your struggles are our struggles, your intense sadness is our intense sadness, and your victory every day??? Our victory! The apostle Paul said we are all members of the same body. When one member is in agony, the rest are also.
Please review ***1Cor. 12:14-26 & Eph. 4:13-16***
About six years ago, I saw my friend, M. We had grown so apart. It just happens over time, sometimes. But he had shown extraordinary kindness to my husband and myself, and we had rekindled some closeness. Then I made a very thoughtless remark. I said that he had "immasculinated" my husband by telling him what to do the whole time we were together, and "humiliated him." (My husband, also a faithful brother in the truth, had no idea whatsoever of what I meant.) It was I who had been overly sensitive and thoughtlessly criticized my friend the first time we had seen each other in a long time. Ever since then M. has completely drawn away and shut our relationship down; despite my many attempts to repair the damage. I miss him so much. From time to time I weep over it still. Mostly because I wish I could take back what I said six years ago. But that WT study article on tender affection brought out that we cannot force a closeness. I have had to accept that our relationship is not there for now. This continues to be very painful, as my Philia love does not diminish with the passing of years. (My husband is so sick of hearing that I miss M.!) But he also understands that we had a special intimacy like family. So for all who may find this little experience to hold a shred of meaning for you,
Please think about the value of those who love you intensely from the heart. Even though it may not be your own mate or children, it can be a spiritual family that can survive ups and downs, pain or joy, time and distance. Jehovah teaches us how to love as He loves, the way he Created us to love.
I have two other reasons for being here.
Yet I will save them for next time.
Warm Christian Love,
Your sister in the mountains
Sunday, November 28th 2004 - 09:19:17 PM
Name: MP Comments: Thank you for this site... I was saddened when I went to JwSupport and it was no longer up. I'm a 20 year old publisher from South Florida. Currently on my 3rd year wedding anniversary. This struggle is a constant thrill ride I have my highs and lows.. Right now a low. But thank Jehovah I found this site.. I had my first lesbian experience when I fell in love with a worldly girl when I was 17 and at that time broke up with my 3 year witness boyfriend (we were planning our wedding). I always thought of what it would be like and in a moment of curiosity I started a relationship with a friend from school and after that it was just mayhem in my life... I lost my pioneer priviliges.. I decided to hurry up with my wedding plans because i wanted my life to go into normal mode again somehow.. i wanted to erase it all from my life.. I wanted to forget what my heart wanted because it was crossed between two loves.. the love for the bad and the wrong and the love for my boyfriend at that time. So we got married I finished school in months (homeschooled) and so 3 years have passed... my husband knows of my struggle and is so understanding... that im grateful to Jehovah for. I feel priviliged to have someone love me unconditionally. Although at times I want to be "free" I know deep inside that to be "free" would mean to hurt everyone I love most importantly Jehovah and I just can't do that. It's hard but I have hope that soon my struggle will be over.. and I just hope that we can all be of help to each other. because you all know what it's like to beg for this to go away and to wake up and feel horrible of the dreams you were having. I don't know if it's right of us to even read these type of sites but it makes me feel like im not alone.. thank you
Wednesday, November 3rd 2004 - 09:14:59 PM
Name: N Comments: Phil it's great to see this site is still helping and encouraging so many. It has literally saved my sanity. The new WT on the year's text shows how Jehovah uses the brotherhood to provide necessary help and this site certainly has. All of you feel free to write me.
Sunday, October 31st 2004 - 10:40:11 PM
Name: RJ Comments: Good day to all of you! Obviously I’m here to share the same sentiments with you guys. I’m in my mid-20’s and as I observed its normal with a guy with homosexual feelings at this age or at this point in life to think that what we have inside us is a very serious matter. I faced the same struggle where depression strikes most, especially at this age where almost all of my peers are getting married. Some of us thought including myself that it’s just a phase of our lives that will fade away eventually; but we can all prove it wrong.
Homosexuality affects my entire personality; this identity crisis develops into an inferiority complex and it took me years to overcome it. During my teens, everyday, I prayed to Him that one day I’ll wake up without any strong feelings over men, but then I realized that it is not possible in this lifetime. I have to wait till the new system comes. Waiting period can be hard and for sure I’ll face more struggles, but I know also to myself that I can make it, with proper motivation and of course - His guidance. He may not answer my prayers to become “straight” or completely cure my illness (our illness) but I know he provides me/us a “sweet medicine” – a temporary relief that cannot be found in any pharmacy. And you know what’s that medicine? Its not a syrup, a capsule or an IV it’s a “PHIL” a very special pill that compose of sweet mixtures – mixtures from different countries, and that is YOU GUYS, people of different races scattered across the globe helping, comforting and guiding one another to control this incurable illness. J
We may not see each other in person to show our care but the heartfelt love for everyone that exists deep within ourselves is indescribable. Currently I have the peace mind that long gone. Now I can move on with my life ready to face the challenges of this system. Thanks (again :-)) to Phil for establishing this site to JOHN for his encouraging life story, to CHANDLER (you know who you are :D) and OLIVER for their warm welcome, TOBIAS for sharing your talent and wit. To my bestfriend EDDIE (jw40nj)(I miss you) and to all the people here (im lookin’ forward knowing you all). And above all to our Almighty God JEHOVAH.
RJ
Saturday, October 30th 2004 - 11:10:03 PM
Name: T.A. Garvin Comments: Hi, Umm, I'm 14 years old not baptised yet and of course I struggle with homosexuality. I'm open to meet new ppl and get as well as send encouragement to others. I don't know if this is a phase or whatever but I will remain faithful to Jehovah.
Saturday, October 30th 2004 - 05:57:39 PM
Name: John Comments: This post is a bit long, but for anyone who has the time to read it, its a recant to my recent post about a CO's comments about sites for gay JWs at a recent convention. And I'm hoping it will be encouraging for any gay brother or sister who may be thinking about leaving Jehovah's organization because of what they've read on apostate websites.
I recently typed in the words 'gay' and 'witnesses' in my Internet browser and a few apostate websites came up that were probably what that CO had in mind. The difference between those websites and this one is that theirs are very mean-spirited attempts to get people to turn their backs on Jehovah. They've also spent an awful lot of time trying to make the Watchtower Society look bad, and its quite obvious to any active JW that many of the stories on those apostate websites are a reflection of the spiritual surrender of the people who wrote them.
Still, its not my place to judge or to criticize them because I know that Satan is very powerful, and that he's always trying to get us to put our own desires ahead of Jehovah. The apostates are using the gay issue to alienate us from God. They say that the Watchtower Society is causing psychological harm to us by encouraging us to supress rather than act out our feelings. They say this is mind control, and that its better to just walk away and live our lives in a way that makes us happy.
Those of us who love Jehovah and who put Him first in our lives know that real Christianity is incompatible with living a worldly life. In fact, all the things the apostates encourage us to do to "break free" are exactly what Jehovah says we shouldn't do. Additionally, we know that genuinely spiritual people will never find fulfilment in the pursuit of fleshly desires. True that Jehovah's standards and expectations of us are very high, but that's because of the very nature of who He is. The really cool thing about Jehovah is that He gives us a choice. We can either stay and serve Him or we can choose to do otherwise. So this isn't about the Watchtower Society controlling our minds, its actually a VERY personal thing between each of us and Jehovah God.
The apostates use the reasoning that if we decide to stay and be loyal to Jehovah we automatically create a hardship situation for ourselves because we will always be sexually frustrated and we will also be ostracized by others in the Christian congregation. I disagree that our lives have to be as dramatic or as negative as that. Nobody in Jehovah's organization has it easy because we all struggle with one type of weakness or another. These are the issues that strengthen our faith in God because they serve as constant reminders that a spiritual life is not about the desires of the flesh but about the desire to do Jehovah's will.
Saturday, October 30th 2004 - 03:32:06 AM
Name: John Comments: Hello to everyone from sunny south Florida in the USA. Its been a long time since I posted and had my story posted here, and kudos to brother Phil, for this website where people can speak out honestly. I've been trying to catch up with the all the posts, and I was especially amused by the reference to the CO who shocked the audience at his public talk with the news that there are now websites for gay witnesses. A 'website for gay witnesses' sounds almost pornographic to me. Anyone who hears that at a public talk is bound to conjure up mental images of a sleazy place where people hook-up for some not-so-Christian activities.
I don't see anything wrong with brothers anonymously sharing their thoughts and experiences to encourage others who also struggle with our 'issue'. Isn't that a major point of being a Christian, to encourage others to resist fleshly desires and to keep on serving Jehovah? Just about all the posts on this website do exactly that. I'm sure the brothers like that CO mean well when they make these comments, but I doubt most of them will ever understand what its really like for us.
Sunday, October 24th 2004 - 07:17:56 PM
Name: JO Comments: Very interesting site. I am looking forward to reading the discussions posted on the forum. John
Sunday, October 24th 2004 - 12:04:31 AM
Name: Phil E-mail address: Phil@witnesses.plus.com Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: John, thank you for signing the guestbook. The experience of many of us mirrors yours. There is a fairly extensive discussion on therapies for change in the Forum (which is password-protected.
If you care to email me privately, I'd be happy to discuss this topic. (Please be assured of complete confidentiality). I am aware of the site you mention. But it is very difficult to find even a single convincing case of someone who has truly changed orientation - and I have looked pretty hard.
Saturday, October 23rd 2004 - 01:07:52 AM
Name: John Comments: Nice website. I'm in my 30s, single, brought up in the truth. I've had homosexual feelings since about 9-10 years old. I've always remained faithful to Jehovah and I've never committed any homosexual acts (except in imagination), so I know it can be done. But I'd love to be free of the desire, or at least reduce it. Has any of us witnesses been successful in this regard? I know from another website (www.peoplecanchange.com) that some others claim to have been healed. What about therapy? Anyway, whether or not I see any improvement, I'm determined to remain obedient to Jehovah and not compromise. (Proverbs 27:11)
Tuesday, October 12th 2004 - 10:14:04 AM
Name: Phil Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: Welcome Joe. You have found the others to talk to!
With regard to the position of those using this site, and the intention of the site, this is made clear on the homepage.
It is for those who are seeking to uphold what Jehovah's Witnesses understand to be the Bible's teaching on sexual matters.
Kind regards,
Phil.
Tuesday, October 12th 2004 - 05:59:14 AM
Name: Joe Comments: This site is amazing. I'm so glad I ran accross it. Almost everything else I have come accross regarding this issue is in support of giving in to your temptations. Actually, I haven't explored enough of this site to get a grasp of where you guys stand on the issue. Or if you even have an opion. I really found "John's Story" encouraging in being something that I can relate to. I am desperately seeking someone to talk to that is in the same boat. So I would love to hear from any of you. Thanks
Joe
Tuesday, October 5th 2004 - 01:34:26 PM
Name: Phil Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: "Passersby", please do not fall off your chair! We cannot afford Personal Injury claims!
We know. We've been there. The discovery of the website "jwsupport" (now offline) back in June 2002 was a revelation to me, as it was to others before me and after, and it proved one of the most positive things in my life.
I don't personally warm to the "nurture" theory - that 'same-sex attraction' is largely caused by environmental/upbringing factors. But I know some feel that it's so for them. Personally, I incline much more to the "nature" side of that debate - the idea that there is some biological cause, not yet discovered, and present from birth (though not necessarily genetic) for the homosexual orientation.
I agree strongly with your comments on 'management'. Like you , many of us have been pioneers, and been heavily involved in the Christian congregation. We can derive much strength, encouragement and support there (and of course occasionally due to human frailty, some discouragement too), but it doesn't change our sexuality. Maintaining spiritual strength and improving in 'management techniques' is the key. In some ways, it becomes more of a challenge from the late 20s on.
Please feel free to comment here. You will no doubt be able to get to know some contributors individually in time. We are cautious, because our "thorn" is one which still attracts opprobrium in some quarters. But we are real people, in real congregations.
Kind wishes,
Phil.
Tuesday, October 5th 2004 - 04:34:03 AM
Name: Passersby Comments: Wow.
I am quite amazed that such a site exists. I nearly fell off my chair. Finally, I know I am not alone.
I see all of you find strength in solace through your commiseration and mutual encouragements.
I was raised in the Truth, and as time passed by, one by one all the guys got hitched. While I have always received much sisterly attention, I never got involved.
I've gone through the suicidal tendancies, depression, inability to function phases. I drowned myself in pioneering, helping the elderly, do this, do that etc etc...
Then I resolved to be at peace with myself by simply say No to THAT lifestyle and "mind my own business." So things have been quite tolerable and manageable.
I will have to get to know you virtually eventually. But for now, I am just still amazed that such a site exists.
One finds strength by realizing that there are fellow fighters. Being homosexual is not solely a matter of external influences and upbringing. For those of us who truly "know" because we live it, those feelings are so ingrained and "natural." Denying them would be self-effacing. But succumbing to them would be devastating. Managing them is the key.
Sunday, October 3rd 2004 - 07:11:32 PM
Name: Andrew Comments: Hello Everybody!
I just stumbled accross this web site a few days ago while searching the internet for some kind of a support group for Witnesses strugling with homosexual inclinations and feelings (not all of the people here will like my terming, I can see, though). I knew there were lots of that kind of web sites for people of all sorts of religious groups, but I didn't feel comfortable about having anything to do with them. I really needed support though (I still do), so I was glad to find Phil's web site.
Well, I think I'll tell you a bit about myself. I am a 21-year-old baptised brother from Russia. In short, my story is that I grew up without a father whose absence in my life, strangely enough, I seem to miss all the more as I get older. I did have a lot of what's called peer rejection in my school years. I was not brought up in the truth, starting to study the Bible at the age of 15. Untill some point a few years ago I seemed to handle those feelings quite well with Jehovah's help. But after that point something changed. I tend to link that to the loss of my best male friend - a wondeful brother of my age I was great friends with. I suppose that our friendship had satisfied my natural need for other males' attention, apreciation, respect, affirmation and love that had never been met in my childhood years either on the part of my father I've never seen or my peers. So, I felt quite comfortable and secure in life. But when things changed (I had to move to another congregation in a big city), I lost all of that. So I started feeling very lonely and those urges for quite natural, legitimate and innocent needs mentioned above not being satisfied in a proper way started to find their "sideways expressions" in me as an imperfect human again.
I do realise that someone might find my theory not as convincing as I do. The thing is, though, that only Jehovah knows all the reasons and roots of my problem. I just find that these assumptions make me feel a lot more comfortable about myself and my plight and as long as that doesn't contradict the Bible's principles it is a great help for me in itself.
I just thought that I might find some help and support on here, and maybe some good friends putting Jehovah first in their lives, as well as able to understand me as few people could. Also wanted to say that there are some really interesting discussions in the Guestbook :)
Cheers
"Andrew", 21, Russia
Thursday, September 30th 2004 - 09:14:04 AM
Name: Tobias Brave Comments: For long I have been thinking about something really uplifting and inspiring to write in this guestbook. But that was like 2 months ago and meanwhile I still haven't made a single post.
So far starters I'd just like to say that I really appreceate this site and the recent posts. I haven't been on the support sites for many months since but I'm happy to read some of the new posts. Keep up the good work bro's!
Tuesday, September 28th 2004 - 01:39:38 AM
Name: Orson Comments: Hey guys!
Just wanted to say 'hi' and what an encouragement it is to read the brothers experiences such as Johnathan and Eddie's. It's SO hard to stay in the truth, and I'm sure that it's that much harder to come in/back from outside the congregation..
It's good to see this sight still up and running, I look forward to seeing more post!
// Orson
Wednesday, September 22nd 2004 - 10:14:55 PM
Name: alex Comments: Bonjour Alain,
bienvenue sur ce forum. Je ne dirai pas que je suis heureux que tu y sois parvenu, parce que je sais ce que cela signifie pour toi et je partage ta souffrance. Il aurait mieux valu que tu n'aies jamais à t'intéresser à ce site, comme moi d'ailleurs. Mais puisque nous y sommes, je tiens à t'adresser mes fraternelles salutations et à te féliciter de chercher à tenir ferme et à concilier l'inconciliable ! On peut y arriver, c'est plus facile bien sur lorsqu'on ne se sent pas seul. Découvrir ce site il y a deux ans m'a encouragé à poursuivre ce combat, je suis sur que ce sera vrai pour toi aussi. Tiens bon frangin !
sorry guys for these strange weird association of letters, getting back the normal language : hi to all !
Alex
Tuesday, September 21st 2004 - 09:41:47 PM
Name: Alain Comments: Hi to all,
Thanks Phil for this website. I was strengthened to know that there are homosexual brothers who stand firm in the truth.
Alain (from France)
Friday, September 10th 2004 - 12:43:50 AM
Name: alexanthony Comments: NOTE: This thread has been moved to the Forum, more appropriate to in-dpeth discussion.
Phil.
Monday, August 23rd 2004 - 09:40:30 PM
Name: Phil Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: A recent discussion on transsexuality was fairly in-depth, and we have moved it to the Forum, where it sits more appropriately.
Tuesday, August 17th 2004 - 09:38:42 PM
Name: Phil Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: Have you read the exquisite and moving study article in the October 1st WT (2004) "Have Tender Affection for One Another"? It's beautiful.
The material under the subheading "Open Your Heart" is very interesting and thought-provoking, especially in relation to our 'issue'. In paragraph 12 we read "We all need friends in whom we can confide our innermost thoughts and feelings"
It's perhaps unfair to single out that one quote, for the whole article is excellent. It's interesting to consider how it can be applied in our particular situation. I am looking forward to studying it in the congregation.
Tuesday, August 17th 2004 - 06:29:34 PM
Name: airsmiles Comments: We have moved these comments, and followups, to the Forum, more appropriate to in-depth comments.
Tuesday, August 17th 2004 - 04:36:44 PM
Name: alexanthony Comments: We have moved these comments and followups to the Forum, more appropriate to in-depth comments.
Tuesday, August 17th 2004 - 12:18:36 AM
Name: rtjoe Comments: Hi to everyone and Phil,
I am so glad to find this site I had wonder what happen to JW Support and missed reading the post. I'll send so time later and let everyone read my story and gain insight thru my life experiences. rtjoe
Saturday, August 14th 2004 - 06:51:10 PM
Name: Phil Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: I agree with airsmiles' comments, and found reading them quite moving.
There is a good article in The Watchtower of June 15th 1982, pages 10 to 12, which looks at the 'gift of singleness' of which Jesus spoke, as recorded at Matthew 19.
The article points out that singleness and marriage are both gifts.
It is a fact that people are all too often in far too much of a hurry to exchange the former gift for the latter, without too much thought about what this entails. Such 'gift exchange' (from single to married) is generally met with approval and seen as cause for felicitation and giving of presents.
When the exchange has been properly considered and made with care, well, the results can be wonderful - I am sure we all know older married couples who are exemplary and enviable in their love and affection and appreciation for each other, and are truly 'one flesh' and share a love that deepens with time.
But truly also, as the apostle Paul pointed out, marriage can lead to 'tribulation in the flesh'. I can't improve on Airsmiles' comments on this.
On the matter of telling friends, I think I might be a little more optimistic than airsmiles, but I acknowledge that great caution is needed. There are certain good friends of mine (not elders) who know, one since 1987, and being able to tell them and discuss with them has proved a great relief to me (though not as much as when I found jwsupport in 2002 and discovered others like me, which has been so posititive in my life).
But I would stress that great caution is needed in the matter of telling friends. Neither of my two closest 'straight' friends whom I told, divulged the information to their wives, when they later married. One did so years later, with my specific wish that he would, as I remained close friends with them as a couple. The other has not yet done so, but has my permission for when the moment is appropriate. Nor did my C.O. friend tell his wife for years, until last year when I asked him to.
As for telling ELDERS, well, I fear I must echo airsmiles' great caution. When there is no wrongdoing, they have no especial 'right' to know what are simply your private feelings, do they?
Those who have told, in hopes of encouragement and upbuilding, have, it seems, all too often been sadly, sadly disappointed, even in the matter of confidentiality (Myself included). But we must all make our personal decision. Please see also the thread in the Forum on the Awake! '1989 Imperative' for youths to tell.
Saturday, August 14th 2004 - 02:26:05 PM
Name: airsmiles Comments: Hi Tim,
Perhaps another angle on this.
Fristly I agree with Alexantony, getting married is not a reasonable solution. I have spoken to several gay brothers who married thinking that a close relationship with a woman might influence their leanings. Every single one of them has said that it was the biggest mistake they had ever made in their lives. Some even said that the physical side of things became totally repulsive to them.
Jehovah does not cure all the poor brothers and sisters with cancer, heart disease, athritic conditions mental illness, depression or any other deformity or condition in this system so have we any right to demand cures or ways out of a condition involving something like sexual attractions? Most of the decent brothers and sisters have some load to carry round and we have ours.
Regarding telling your friend, if you want to continue your friendship with him with no addtional baggage than there already is I do not think it is a good idea to tell him. I disagree with Alexantony in this regard : I do not think it is necessary for you to break off your friendship because we all need close friends and many gay brothers are close to "straight" brothers with no complications. There is NOTHING worse for a human than to be without companionship in this system. Yes you are in love with the guy but if you are careful to keep your emotions in check you might find that this will naturally develop into a more meaningful friendship thing.
Regarding any danger of immorality taking place, well we all know there are dangers here for both straight and gay brothers and we all have to go by the same protocols. Enjoy friendships and keep it clean! If the brother is "straight" i can't imagine anything happening between you. The only probelm you face is the emotional toil of loving someone who cannot return that love in the way that you want it.
Regarding telling family well, we generally all can figure out already what the reaction will be and the fact that the vast majority of gay brothers do not tell family speaks volumes.
Regarding telling the elders my personal opinion is that gay brothers should not do this. There are inherent problems with this one. Reading through comments from other gay brothers on the support sites will indicate what they are.
Anyway your sexuality is no one's business but yours and Jehovah's. If you choose to tell another human being that is your descision,but you are not required to tell anyone!
Do not view what has been dealt to you, through no fault of your own as your "sordid little secret". It is really no ones business.
***********************BEING SINGLE*************************
Actually there are a lot of benefits in being single. Marriage is not all that it is cracked up to be. The number of married brothers I meet at conventions who when they find out I am still single who say "I wish I had stayed single" is incredible. The pressures on married couples are enormous in this system and to a great extent we are free of them. Sure, a lot of gay brothers would like kids but look at what's happening with huge numbers of our youngsters in the truth even children of appointed men. What a terrible heartache to watch your children leave the truth. In the coutry I am in this is an enormous problem now.
Companionship is a human need so all us gay brothers are left with is the ability to make, nurture and develop great, close friendships which can be done.
Friday, August 6th 2004 - 11:42:36 PM
Name: Phil Comments: A brief reply as I am on vacation.
There appears to be little or no solid peer-reviewed published evidence that change of oritentation is possible. I wish it was and I wish there were. I will say more about this later.
In recent years the society's published information on this topic has focussed on staying faithful and coping with this 'thorn in the flesh', rather than expecting change.
Back soon,
Phil.
Thursday, August 5th 2004 - 09:39:00 PM
Name: alexanthony Comments: A reply to Tim:
DO NOT marry a sister who may have feelings toward you to try to change your orientation. Not gonna happen in this system. Wait on Jehovah. Do not disrupt the life of a dear sister who will expect you to love her (and LOVE her, if ya know what I mean...) more than anyone except Jehovah.
You may need to end your friendship with this brother. Isn't he married? Why are you going on vacation with him? I know of another case where a single brother vacationed/spent a lot of time with a married brother apart from his wife, and they became involved. Don't give Satan an opportunity to tempt either one of you. I have had to alter or change some of my close friendships when I felt that feelings were developing on my part. This protected both myself and the other brother, AND saved the friendship, but did reduce the intensity of feelings on my part or between us. You may need to spend less time with him, and always include his wife.
You may need to come out to the Elders. Can they help you? I believe so. They exist to serve us. Many Elders can be supportive and encouraging. Can you take advantage of this loving provision? I'm not saying we all need to come out to the Elders...but some of us might, if we feel that we might slip and fall...better to confide in them and recieve some spiritual aid than commit fornication and distance ourselves from Jah and His organization. Do what's BEST for you, even if it's hard, Tim.
No, I'm not EX-GAY and I don't know anyone else who is. But I am LESS gay by focusing on spiritual matters and staying VERY busy in theocratic activities, study, prayer, meditation, service, helping others, etc. Are you doing all of these to the utmost? If not, focus on the aspects you are lacking in and give it time, dear brother. Pray for peace of mind. Pray for the strength to cope, to persevere. You will succeed. We will all succeed, with Jehovah's help.
Let me know how you are doing. Don't quit. I understand the suicidal thoughts, also, by the way...been there, done that. Please email me soon.
Love ya, bro.
aa
Wednesday, August 4th 2004 - 10:12:48 PM
Name: alexanthony Comments: Hola hermanos!
I haven't posted in a long time, but I just logged on for the first time in quite awhile and read many encouraging posts and threads, so I thought it would be remiss of me not to say GRACIAS!
Nice to see Pineapple post for once...very encouraging. The quiet ones always have the best things to say! Love ya, jc!
Mike and YesIhaveAname, really enjoyed your posts as well...hope you're doing well today...hang in there! MANY of us ARE succeeding in fighting this...you can too!
Would love to hear back from anyone who needs encouragement or can give encouragement...
Gotta get to the meeting...love ya, bros.
Wednesday, August 4th 2004 - 07:30:50 PM
Name: Tim Comments: before i tell you my story i d like you to answer the following question: can a homosexaul person become straight if she asks for jehovahs help over and over again?
that s what i ve been doing for the last 5 years. i absolutely believed that he would help me. my dream has always been to have a wife and some children (though i m gay). i always believed that i would fall in love with a girl someday (and i still do)...
2 years ago a young couple moved into our congregation. i became very close friends with the young brother, we see or hear us every day. în all these years i never had feelings towards my friend whom i really "love" for all he does for me, i couldn t live without him anymore... last week i went on holiday with him and that s when i realized that i m in love with him. since that day i m deeply depressed. i m a very positive thinking person and always got along well with my secret but now somehow i can t stand it anymore. last monday i was even thinking about suicide.
i ve completely lost the orientation. for years i was so sure that my sexual preferances would change if i would strongly believe in that but now i m nut sure about that anymore.
there are 3 choices i can make:
1: don t tell the secret to anybody, and by jehovahs help marry a sister and live a happy life.
2: tell my friend about my feelings, which will mean that we won t be able to go on with the friendship. the result of that would be that i would be deadly unhappy... can t stand that idea.
3: tell the elders and my family... everybody will know about me. i will be the GAY ONE... brothers won t like my company anymore because they think i m in love with each of them, and the sisters won t be interested in me either...
i will not accept living my life as a single... i can t stay alone. isn t there anybody who is EX-GAY?
Wednesday, August 4th 2004 - 02:12:32 AM
Name: robert Comments: Just found this site and it literally saved my life. It was extremely upbuilding and encouraging to hear that there are so many faithful brothers and sisters coping with these feelings, and remaining true to Jehovah. I look forward to sharing comments with all of you in the near future. Will have to get an email address through hotmail and then I can be more open about myself. May Jehovah bless you all....
Tuesday, July 27th 2004 - 02:53:56 PM
Name: Ann Comments: Hello, I am hoping to gain some support from other sisters who are in this situation, especially married ones. I have recently come to the conclusion that I am gay and I am looking for others in a similar situation.
Ann
Sunday, July 25th 2004 - 12:27:54 PM
Name: Pineapple Comments: Hello. Kumusta kayo. Minnasan konnichi wa. It's good to see new ones that have found this site and is pleased with it. I too felt that way once. May each and every one of you bros and sis' not lose that joy because it is a joy that will help you continue in Jehovah's service--the
feeling of not being alone. Granted, all of us are imperfect and we may at times be disappointed when we don't get along with some that we meet but there are a few worth
hanging on to. There was a time when I also almost left the truth because of loneliness and upon finding this site found a new hope for myself--I was not alone! Thanks also btw Tandy for your words of encouragement. We need more in the organization like you! Web sites have their evils and like was mentioned before, the society also has a site which is progressively good but since this site is not widely accepted by all of our brothers (yet, hopefully) due to 'the issue,' we do have some sort of trust that is possible only between ourselves, however, this does not mean
that we throw caution to the wind. We need to 'keep testing whether we are in the faith.'(2 Cor. 13:5, 6) As regards to this site, I believe the principle in that scripture applies too. Stick around a little and you will find that there are genuine lovers of Jehovah, some of whom you will be able to confide in with trust. "Keep testing"! IMO, if you're not truly looking to keep in line with Jehovah's standards (e.g., going to clubs and losing conduct then later go into "confession" only to end up repeating what you just did) please don't waste time here because the reason we're here is for support, not sharing in sins.
Tuesday, July 20th 2004 - 07:49:17 AM
Name: Claudio Comments: Excuses, I do not speak English and use a translator to write.
Not who is John, but your experience me to thrilled and is exactly what we feel many, I wait continue near Jehovah.
I for my years of youth was a very active and spiritual person. I believed that my feelings gay would end and I would be happy with a woman. It has not been this way and now I must have planned again my life. Many nights I have cried and have felt upset, but in my heart continues a strong desire to be near Jehovah, more loudly it is my desire to serve Jehovah that my proper satisfaction.
It is not easy in any case, and these last two years have been specially díficil, the most dear persons are not nearby and the feelings lonelinesses are bigger still(yet).
I am recovering forces and to expect to find happiness of serving Jehovah.
I valued very much the fight of the brothers with my feelings your examples are vital in order that I continue fighting.
Regards from Chile
Claudio
Friday, July 16th 2004 - 09:55:29 AM
Name: oliver Comments: hi all,
after a long long time i decided to post again a message to all here. actually i read all of your posts and entries (guestbook or forum) and i appreciate them very much.
i am really glad and happy when i see a "new face" on the site, and i remember the feelings i had the time when i found the sites first. a heartly and warm welcome to them!
hey and martin. you are so right. and i enjoyed our get-together last week. its good to know, there are others, brothers and sisters who share the struggle. thanks for being there. ;)
love and greetz to you all
oliver
Tuesday, July 13th 2004 - 07:20:17 PM
Name: Mike Comments: Hey guys, i'm Mike from the Far East. Ok, I've been lurking around on this site for quite a while now. And I decided to come "out" and be part of the group here. It is just SO difficult to be in this situation that you can't talk to anybody about being gay. It so hard to fight it alone. I know that this phrase had been said here a million times, but, I just would like to "air" mine too. I believe, there are only TWO people in the organization (whom I saw face to face) whom I told about this crisis I am going to. I don't know if they are a member of this group.
Nevertheless, I am so glad to came into terms with myself and accepted that I have the same problems as all of you have here. It is just SO difficult too to accept this for myself because of the cultural background I came too. Ok, I don't like to bore you all, but you may mail me if you want to hear the rest of it.
Cheers!
Tuesday, July 13th 2004 - 09:26:47 AM
Name: Martin Comments: Hi everybody,
wanted to send you the best greetings from germany.
It is funny to see how almost everybody is feeling the same. Thinking he is the only one how struggles with these fellings. I did the same, and as I only new other gay-EX-bros, i got to the point to think, that no matter how hard i try, i would one day end up in the world. But i didn't want to give up yet, and let Satan win this battle - one of my fav. bibl.ver: prov. 27:11.
To get to know so many brothers and sisters, that for many years keep on beeing faithfull to Jehovah is such a great gift, and makes me feel strong enough to carry on.
Thanks to you Phil, for your hard work keeping this site running.
Send you all my love
martin
Wednesday, July 7th 2004 - 11:27:37 AM
Name: Sue Comments: Hi all! A sister, here. Just discovered this most amazing site! I am deeply touched by some of the comments in this guestbook, and it's wonderful to see so many being able to get much-needed support and make friendships this way. We are ALL imperfect sinners, no matter what the wrongful desire is, which is, as we know, the purpose of Jesus' ransom sacrifice. It would be great to speak openly with brothers and sisters about this issue and one day maybe it will happen. After all, one could be openly commended for not giving in to most other wrongful desires. May Jehovah bless each and every one who is working so hard to keep his way. The new system will be here soon, and we'll all be made new, hang on in there.
Christian love
Sue
x
p.s. cant leave my email as it gives my full name and I don't have the courage yet (!).
Thursday, July 1st 2004 - 01:41:31 PM
Name: Night Comments: :-) Hello again! Thought i'd pop in to see how things are going.... Yey! lots of new ones are signing in. It's good to see that some are finding what they need in the way of support. Let's all keep up the work and stay close to Jehovah!
Love to all, my brothers & sisters!
Tuesday, June 29th 2004 - 10:06:44 PM
Name: First Time, maybe Later Comments: Hello All,
I just stubbled across this site today. And for the first time, I can say, "I'm sure you know how I feel" instead of the normal thinking...no one will ever understand. I was raised in the Truth,and ask every day how is this possible (being attracted to men). I have never confided in anyone here in the U.S. or anywhere else for that matter till now. I am 28yrs and the older I get, the harder it is to hide. Well I dont want to go on and on right off the back about my sob life right now. So I will save it for later. Its just a great feeling to know there are others who might understand. Please feel free to contact me. It would be great to make some friends who I can confide in.
Thanks,
Your Brother in the U.S.
Sunday, June 27th 2004 - 02:00:29 PM
Name: Your Grateful Sister Comments: Though I struggle often with this issue, here recently it has been particularly intense. My experience is the same as others at this site and I am grateful to make contact with you. I love Jehovah and would never want to do anything that would damage my relationship with him but this is one area as you know that it is difficult to discuss even with our loving elders. But, when appropriate, I've decided I'm going to try to help my brothers and sisters to see that sin is sin and it can be damaging to a brother or sister who struggles with homosexuality to make them feel like they are lower than all other sinners. Like myself, when I really needed help I did not feel comfortable discussing this with the elders. I'm so grateful we can go to Jehovah with the deepest of the deepest on our hearts. Peace to you and Christian love...
Friday, June 18th 2004 - 12:26:03 PM
Name: Phil Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: Thank you, AZ, for your comments.
For many of us, a major help in not giving up, has been the discovery through a very few current websites and their predecessor jwsupport, of others in the same situation.
It has been a powerfully positive motivating factor in our lives, to be able to exchange thoughts and share feelings with so many other humble and thoughtful brothers and sisters sharing the same 'thorn in the flesh'.
Of course, ours is certainly not the worst personal difficulty a Christian can face. Many cope with terrible health problems and other longterm troubles. But it does seem that this "thorn" is unique because it's just not a subject that we can yet be open about, unlike, say, depression, which has come 'out of the closet' since the 1970s.
We don't need to become obsessive about the sites, or give them an undue place in our lives, but just knowiung that there are other mature brothers and sisters there to help, has been so wonderful for so many of us.
Until I found jwsupport, in 2002, I had never known of any other brother or sister in the same situation. The few with this "thorn" that I had in the past heard of, had all left the truth.
Perhaps one day we will be in the situation that we can talk about our difficulty as easily with everyone as those with other problems can. It will take quite a culture change, in some regions, for that to happen.
Until then, we know that we can have support when we need it, via the websites. They're not perfect, and they're not the pages of The Watchtower, but for many of us, they've been wonderful.
Phil.
Friday, June 18th 2004 - 01:56:09 AM
Name: AZ Comments: Hello All,
Just wanted to say a few words of encouragement and also to thank you all for your posts. I am a sister but am not gay. I came across this site by looking for information to help someone I love very much deal with these feelings. In the process I have been helped myself. (Thank you Phil.) I understand just how difficult this struggle really is. Don't give up! Jehovah promises us that "he will satisfy the desire of every living thing." Remain faithful 'till the end so that together all of us will have our desires satisfied.
Best Wishes,
AZ
Wednesday, June 9th 2004 - 03:11:17 PM
Name: Tandy Comments: Phil,
I agree. Some find it surprising that things are not more open and accepted here in the U.S. but they simply aren't. Especially in the area of the country in which I live.
I do think, however, that progress will continue to be made, albeit slowly. Please know that there are some of us who are trying to help others along!
For example, we had a group of people over on super bowl Sunday last year when a prominent company aired a commercial showing two women kissing. One sister got all flustered and said, "that's it. I'll never drink that kind of beer again". I was a bit shocked, and asked if she would drink beer brewed by companies that showed two straight but single people engaging in immoral conduct. We all know that immorality is portrayed continuously by advertisers in this country! That exchange led to a discussion, and I was heartened to see that others agreed with my position.
This incident, and others, have given us the opportunity to share what we've always told our kids (for years now)--that it is possible to be both gay and faithful to Jehovah--and how difficult that would be for our brothers who are gay, but how there is a distinction between feelings and actions. This belief was immediately obvious to me the first time I considered it over 20 years ago, but apparently is not obvious to all.
Slow progress but at least progress--we hope! T.
Wednesday, June 9th 2004 - 09:50:11 AM
Name: Phil Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: Dear Tandy,
Thank you very much for your kind words of support, which I am sure all will appreciate.
Experience seems to show that the situation varies in different parts of the world, largely in line with local cultural traditions.
It shouldn't really be that way - all congregations, if perfect, should have cast off attitudes deriving from local traditions, where these clash with Scripture. But to be fair, congregations are NOT perfect, and it would be humanly impossible to get everything right in every aspect all the time.
In the UK we seem to have much less of a problem than in some other countries. I believe, for example, that it would not be a terrible problem for me to be completely "out" in my congregation, if I chose.
Other countries don't have it so easy, however, and in regions where there is a very strong and unreasoning culture against those with homosexual feelings even if celibate, this unfortunately (though perfectly understandably) seems to be reflected to some degree in the congregations, and it makes it very difficult for brothers and sisters with this "thorn in the flesh" to speak about it to ANYONE or get any support.
It is to be hoped that this may change, as the Society continues kindly to address the topic in the publications.
Best wishes,
Phil.
Wednesday, June 9th 2004 - 07:23:19 AM
Name: Tandy Comments: Hello All,
I found this site while searching for some material last night and just wanted to post a note and send some encouragement your way.
I am a Witness, living in the U.S. but am not gay. I do, however, want you all to know that there are those of us, (although not as many as I, and I'm sure you, would like) who do understand how difficult things are for you; who do understand that being gay is not a choice; who admire your faithfulness to your dedication and who are willing and able to be supportive of you.
Your posts are very encouraging--they are also often sad, especially those who relate the negative reactions you have received from your fellow brothers and sisters. Please believe that we are not all that way--you do have true brothers and sisters who love and support you!
Much Love, T
Wednesday, June 2nd 2004 - 12:15:25 PM
Name: Phil Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: Hello Malc, and thank you for posting to the guestbook.
I am sorry to hear of your difficult situation. Transsexuality is indeed a great difficulty.
It seems odd that you were asked not to attend meetings - I cannot imagine why that would be. If you would care to say more (if not in the guestbook, perhaps privately?), then maybe some of us may be able to offer some encouragement, or answer any questions.
Kind regards,
Phil.
Tuesday, June 1st 2004 - 11:37:54 PM
Name: Malc Comments: Hi to all and thankyou to Phil for running this site I found the artice on this site from looking at the Transsexual artical I am Transsexual and was brought up in the truth and was asked not to go any more so I have not I am not disfellowshiped or any thing like that and like you I wrote to the Sociaty and got much the same answer, it would be nice to talk to other TS brothers I have met 1 and a local support group that I attend and that person was very suprised to see me there. Anyway look forward to hearing.
Wednesday, May 26th 2004 - 06:02:03 AM
Name: ric Comments: Hey y'all! Thought I'd sign in. I've been inactive for a long time (born into the Truth / never baptized). It's great to see a site on this topic that doesn't bash the society. If anyone is in the Southern USA (or anywhere else really) wants to email me please feel free. Y'all take care now! Ric
Tuesday, May 18th 2004 - 04:52:59 PM
Name: Seb Comments: Phil, you're right, it is human nature to be wary of the new. I was joking (well spotted!) about that C.O.
I've emailed you.
Seb
Tuesday, May 18th 2004 - 03:13:20 PM
Name: Phil Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: Fair points, Seb.
If printing from moveable type had been invented last year, it would have been necessary for the Society to bring out Kingdom Ministry items about it - just LOOK at the amount of BAD material that makes it into print!
And, when the KM items came out, there would be some brothers and sisters who would 'go beyond the things written', and say that all books and magazines were bad and Christians shouldn't use them at all.
Such is human nature (especially among those who do not have much, or any, background in literacy or textual analysis).
You comment about the CO being a widower is interesting and puts into perspective your former, probably joking, supposition.
The latter part of the 'Rationale' page for this site, makes, I hope, some relevant points about the internet. I wonder whether those who suck in thier breath at mentions of 'gay' witnesses finding support on the Web, would express similar qualms about booking a bargain holiday on the Web?
Of great interest is the panel in the May Kingdom Ministry about how the Society is now making the "Require" brochure available in many languages on the WT main website. This is a super provision, and nicely illustrates the value of the Web. If you have a good call on Saturday on a Turkish-speaking person, you can download the brochure that night and return with it on Sunday (or even, if you are invited in and he has internet, get it there and then!). To obtain the brochure through the literature department in the congregation, by contrast, will likely take some weeks.
Tuesday, May 18th 2004 - 02:52:35 PM
Name: Seb Comments: While I agree that it's good that it raised the profile of this subject it was within the context of the evils of the Internet, which is a mite disheartening.
And yes, it was at a meeting in the UK. It was maybe a little unfair of me to cast aspertions about the orientation of the C.O. He's a widower and very much a grey heterosexual.
Tuesday, May 18th 2004 - 12:24:46 PM
Name: Phil Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: Hi Seb,
That information is very interesting. Frankly, the more mention 'our' topic gets, really, the better. Don't you think? Anything that raises the profile of the subject and brings it more into the arena for discussion, has got to be good. It is a fact that too many heads are still buried in the sand, in the Truth, on this subject.
In the late 1970s things started to open up on the subect of depression, in line with increased secular understanding and changing soicetal attitudes. Now no-one need feel ashamed of asking for help medically and in other ways, with depression. Hopefully 'our' topic will become more open in time too.
Seb, I wonder if the meeting you mention took place in the UK? If you would care to email me privately, I promise you the utmost discretion - I will not divulge ANY information about you to ANYONE. But if you prefer to remain just an occasional anonymous poster to the guestbook, that is fine. This site is here for support, not to pressurise anyone. But I believe you could offer much in the Forum, if you cared to join. Entirely up to you though.
Kind regards,
Phil.
Monday, May 17th 2004 - 03:33:53 PM
Name: Seb Comments: Sites such as this were mentioned at our recent Circuit Elders Meeting. It was in the context of a discussion on the internet that the the C.O. said that "there are even websites for homosexual witnesses." There was an audible gasp, but whether this was at the existence of the sites or at the idea that there are gay brothers was hard to tell.
There's also the curiousity as to how he knows... he is single!
Sunday, May 16th 2004 - 08:46:48 AM
Name: Joe Comments: Hey,
Just wanted to say a quick hi! This site is amazing and very encouraging! I stumbled upon it by accident as I had no idea so many who shared the same issues I had were out there! I look forward to getting to know everyone.
Joe
Monday, May 10th 2004 - 01:17:22 PM
Name: Night Comments: Hey.....where's Marc & Mark? haven't seen them post recently? hmmmmmm?! ** dials phone and gets an answering machine ** :-(
Friday, May 7th 2004 - 05:06:59 AM
Name: Night Comments: GOOD MORNING!!!!!!! wow, I haven't posted here in awhile... sorry 'bout that Phil! miss ya and the little gang here. seems that it's is growing pretty well. need to say hi to all the newbies and a nice comfy hug to all those here that know me well; Phil, Anthony, Jez, Abi, Jose (if he's still here) and all the rest!
;-) love ya'll!
Thursday, April 29th 2004 - 03:26:05 AM
Name: Eddie Comments: Just wanted to say hey to Anthony! No negative response here. Looking to make friends all over. Hit me back.
Luv Ya
Eddie
Thursday, April 29th 2004 - 12:57:53 AM
Name: Phil Homepage URL: http://www.witnesses.plus.com Comments: Brian, there is a lot in the Scriptures to say quite specifically that homosexuality is wrong. If you are interested in a sincere discusion of this, perhaps it might be conducted privately, or perhaps some points could be covered here in the guestbook.
Principally, as the Homepage says, this is a place for those who agree with Jehovah's witnesses' understanding of the Scriptures, but sincere enquiry from someone of a different view need not necessarily be ruled out.
Wednesday, April 28th 2004 - 10:48:46 PM
Name: anthony Comments: Just wanted to say hi...I posted once before but received a negative response from a stranger...I'm here, just like you all, looking for friendship, support and encouragement...I'm willing to give it as well, but I don't have the time or energy for negative thoughts or dissension, so prevalent in the world and elsewhere...would love to make some new, SPIRITUAL friends...willing to give out e-mail address privately...a big TRL shout-out to Dustin, Jesse, Abi and all my homies!!! haha
Wednesday, April 28th 2004 - 04:47:43 PM
Name: BRIAN Comments: There is actually nothing in the scriptures to say homosexuality is wrong anyway.
BRIAN
Monday, April 26th 2004 - 10:13:24 AM
Name: Eddie Comments: Congrats to JC for making that all important step.
Justin, I know how you feel. I've been there many times. All I can say is, "Don't give up on Jehovah." It's taken me a long time to learn this. If I could go back through time, I would to save myself all the pains I've put myself through. Just when I was about to give up, I found this website. Now I really know that Jehovah loves all of us. Now we have each other to inspire to love and fine works. If you would like to chat, him me up.
Eddie
Monday, April 26th 2004 - 10:11:48 AM
Name: Eddie Comments: I want to thank Phil for this website. I don't see anything wrong with the name "Gaywitness". That's what I am. It made it posible to find this site in the search engine.
I'm now aproaching 40 and was raised in the truth. I love Jehovah with all my heart, but as you know being gay can be hard. I have drifted in and out of the truth many times, trying to fill the void of lonliness. Many times using sex to fill that void. It never did. I always need to come back to serve Jehovah. My friendships and relationships with people in the world never lasted. They lacked the fruitages of the spirit. I've been back for more than two years now and am stronger than ever and lonelier than ever. I'm in a small congregation in New Jersey where everyone is married and most are related to each other. I haven't been able to make any friends in my congregation. You know how it is, couples and singles don't mix. They are like oil and water. I feel that I just don't fit in. I always felt that I was the only Gaywitness in the world. I so glad to see that I not alone. I'm hoping that this site can bring me some peace of mind and posibly some friendships.
If anyone would like to chat, hit me up.
Eddie
Wednesday, April 21st 2004 - 02:05:26 PM
Name: Heather Comments: This is my first time here, I am just kinda looking around, seems like a nice site. I couldn't get into the forum without a password though, so I'm not quite sure how I get a password. Well anyways, talk to ya'll later!
~Heather
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