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under_pressuree Monday, July 13th 2009 - 10:48:53 AM jleavey09@gmail.com These demons eat me from the inside out just like the mother fuckers that raped me chill out on a bottle of ativans to sedate me but i can still feel every ounce of hatred the drugs can break my concentration but i still feel the penetration man im havin sick nightmares, im day dreamin im the one with the gun and everyone is screamin now im overboard like a seaman left alone to face my demons theres fire in my eyes that burn a river down my spine my whole self is consumed in a flame burning out everything with everyone to blame theres ice in my heart running through my veins i guess you can call me illegally insane something is ripping right through my brain sick thoughts of how to end a life when i walk around carrying this knife maybe i should use this ice pick shots to the heart for these pricks they say im a sick bitch cause wen they get at me i dont flinch but they dont know the half how ill have the last laugh after i bury you alive and spit on the dirt i cant forgive you when i picture you ripping my pants and my shirt for drugging me up just to force your way in your screaming now, but i cant hear what your saying still remember every guy there smiling as they each took a turn until i blow your house up, and its your turn to burn i tried to push back but i was paralyzed that was then and this is now, when i run up on you in disguise three shots to the face, and one to the heart just in case i have nothing left to fear theres no words i wanna hear when im cuttin 'em open with a chainsaw or put on brass knuckles and rock their jaw no one can relate to the visions i saw or the ones im still seeing, the ones where im taking the life of a human being they say anger is a stage but this aint anger, this is rage rage that leaves puncture wounds that'll never heal leaving me to never again feel all the love that escaped me on the night these animals raped me

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under_pressuree Monday, July 13th 2009 - 10:48:52 AM jleavey09@gmail.com These demons eat me from the inside out just like the mother fuckers that raped me chill out on a bottle of ativans to sedate me but i can still feel every ounce of hatred the drugs can break my concentration but i still feel the penetration man im havin sick nightmares, im day dreamin im the one with the gun and everyone is screamin now im overboard like a seaman left alone to face my demons theres fire in my eyes that burn a river down my spine my whole self is consumed in a flame burning out everything with everyone to blame theres ice in my heart running through my veins i guess you can call me illegally insane something is ripping right through my brain sick thoughts of how to end a life when i walk around carrying this knife maybe i should use this ice pick shots to the heart for these pricks they say im a sick bitch cause wen they get at me i dont flinch but they dont know the half how ill have the last laugh after i bury you alive and spit on the dirt i cant forgive you when i picture you ripping my pants and my shirt for drugging me up just to force your way in your screaming now, but i cant hear what your saying still remember every guy there smiling as they each took a turn until i blow your house up, and its your turn to burn i tried to push back but i was paralyzed that was then and this is now, when i run up on you in disguise three shots to the face, and one to the heart just in case i have nothing left to fear theres no words i wanna hear when im cuttin 'em open with a chainsaw or put on brass knuckles and rock their jaw no one can relate to the visions i saw or the ones im still seeing, the ones where im taking the life of a human being they say anger is a stage but this aint anger, this is rage rage that leaves puncture wounds that'll never heal leaving me to never again feel all the love that escaped me on the night these animals raped me

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Taylor Yoakum Sunday, May 31st 2009 - 01:18:48 AM sports_grl94@hotmail.com Life Is A Journey: Life is a journey through many terrain From gardens of pleasure to deserts of pain. From an ocean of love to a jungle of hate From mountains of glory to canyons of fate. There's a highway for joy and a highway for sorrow A road for today and a road for tomorrow. So choose your path wisely and walk with care If you follow your heart you'll find your way there. I've been to the garden and planted seeds there I've been to the desert and felt the despair I swam in the ocean and drank of its wine I've done all these things since you were mine. I climbed up the mountain to touch the sky I went to the canyon and started to cry. I've traveled both highways, both today and tomorrow I've basked in the joy and wallowed in sorrow. My path has been chosen and I walk it with care I've followed my hear and I'm on my way there. So I'll just keep on walking till I find what I'm after To mountains and oceans and gardens of laughter.

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carol jeffers Friday, May 8th 2009 - 12:20:58 AM ilovemyjeffy1519@yahoo.com i love your website you have no idea how much it helps me i am a rape victim to and i still to this day cannot get over it i just feel like i dont belong but when i heard about this website i just feel all so much better. thank you!!

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Sarah Powell Saturday, May 2nd 2009 - 01:31:15 AM spowell1@uco.edu http://home.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user YOU Everything was worked out. I was so glad to be back in the city. I felt comfortable. I felt like life was reborn in me. YOU opened my window. YOU tore off the screen. YOU put a gun to my face. I gave YOU every opporotunity to do anything else... but you... YOU decided RAPE. I thought, I shouldn't feel bad. I got off easy. YOU could have beat me. YOU could have killed me. But now, I live with fear. Now, I think it could be anyone... YOU could be anyone. YOU are everyone! I am always afraid... I've begun to forget about my pain, my anxiety, my night THAT YOU TOOK FROM ME YOU hurt my whole family. My family is consumed and torn apart at the same time... BY YOU! Sometimes I think, it would have been better if YOU killed me and spared the other women that came after me... Either way, YOU will have won. Instead, I choose to fight. I will fight everything that YOU have done. I will fight YOU in court. I will fight YOU in my nightmares! YOU don't want to "man-up" to what YOU have done... I'll do YOU one better... I will "woman-up" enough to put YOU away! I hate YOU for how YOU make me feel... every second... of every minute... of every day... However, I will endure that, so that no other woman will have to ever meet YOU.

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sheri Tuesday, April 28th 2009 - 03:11:07 PM army_love_purkey@yahoo.com i loved this page. i to am a survivor of sexual abuse. i am 16 and find it hard to understand that i am not alone this page has shown me that many gurls have felt or still feel the same way i do\. thank yo for showing me that

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Traci S Sunday, March 15th 2009 - 10:46:47 PM cshell337@gmail.com The waves of change ebb and flow over the sands of time. For me, there is a part they never touch. Innocence lost, a life changed forever Where did the girl with the dreams go? What happened to her? She was happy. She had her life planned and waiting - that was all taken away. What did he think? It was all in fun - it was just a game? It didn't matter he took what was not his to take. He made decisions that were not his to make.

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Traci S Sunday, March 15th 2009 - 10:44:38 PM cshell337@gmail.com A monster in the darkness - who is this man? Where is the golden boy you know? His sweet breath, his skin so tan- All this is gone - who is this man? This man - all fists and disdain, holding you down - causing you pain. A part that was alive now is slain. Who is this man? This is your love- This is the person you held above The one everyone thought you fit like a glove. This is the man who held your dreams Now, he holds your screams. A light is his eyes gleams - he glories in the streams of tears from your eyes

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Keysa Grable (Hyman) Tuesday, March 10th 2009 - 06:09:04 PM keysag@rocketmail.com http://www.militarycorruption.com/grable.htm Thank you for sharing your poems with the world! I think that it's so important to express thoughts about surviving and moving forward from abuse!!! It's possible and there is HOPE! http://www.militarycorruption.com/grable.htm

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melinda jane Robinson Welch Heath Thursday, October 30th 2008 - 07:40:41 PM melindajaneheath2007@yahoo.com My Father loved me; My Brother Loved me; My Husband loved Best. Now in one month they all got there rest...but I was Left alone...I no longer had a family or a home. Vapor? Life is a vapor...I was shown! I went through years of tears and laughter also true It was that laughter that we shared...I remembered.. That got me through. I remarried and loved,my husband my children, I didn't know It was the love these three showed me-I showed YOU!

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Diann Wednesday, October 22nd 2008 - 04:27:08 PM dijoe81698@swva.net

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vixx Wednesday, October 8th 2008 - 08:54:16 AM vixxdavis@live.com.au Thanks for being there, i will submit something soon.My healing is just beginning after more than 30years of hell.

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Jen Saturday, September 27th 2008 - 08:02:40 PM Your in my soul what gave you the right your hands do not stop your weight pushing down your breathing louder your movements harder Your in my soul when will you leave Blood staining my skin Tears drenching my hair trapped beneath your strength fear and emptiness Pain returning again

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Charisse Singleton Tuesday, September 23rd 2008 - 01:26:28 AM singletonx3@yahoo.com In the dark and ancient mystery of night... a young girl is searching for her clothing of virtue and pride. He was creeping out, as a cat on the midnight prowl. This was how she lost her innocence... Aligned with shamed, and stripped of her pride. Written by Charisse Singleton

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Nancy Monday, July 28th 2008 - 03:09:08 AM Nancy_e787@yahoo.com When I was in the 9th grade, I was raped by 5 guys at a party. I didnt tell anyone for years. I put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. Recently, I was forced to overcome the obstacle of telling my husband of 3 years and my mother. It was very difficult, but it really made a difference. TALK ABOUT IT. IT HELPS ACT OF WAR An act of war, hate, and frustration Anger and violence through penetration. The tears and screams go unheard. If only they’d listen to the one little word To re-live that night everyday To be reminded of it in everyway When you shower or when you shave To yourself, you will always be a slave Your emotions and your life begin to rattle Every time you think of that battle You ask yourself, when will this end? Where was a friend with a shoulder to lend? This war has gone on and on for years But is it really worth all of the tears? Is it worth re-living the pain Of the night that your childhood was slain You wish to forgive, but refuse to forget But sometimes you want nothing to do with it. You never know how much life means Until you are laying there listening to your own screams. Afterwards, all you want is to die But when it doesn’t work you begin wonder why You try to start over, starting at the end Finally looking forward to what’s just around the bend. Know that you will always have your past That’s exactly what it is, it doesn’t have to last. It can never go away, it can never hide Don’t wear it on your shoulder or have it by your side. Rise up again and live like the sun It wasn’t your fault you don’t have to run Forgive yourself for the little mistakes You will then see what a difference it makes You’ll look in the mirror and not shed a tear You’ll live a great life without all the fear Turn to your family or to a friend That is the only way that this war will ever end.

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Jasmine Wednesday, May 28th 2008 - 05:11:44 PM jusjaxmama@yahoo.com THAT NIGHT Why after all this time. am I hurting like I do? Why am i starting to feel his crime? its making me so blue. That night, I had blocked from my mind. That night, I prayed would rewind. The damage was done. The hurt was felt. Definately wasnt fun. My puirity it did melt. Out of nowhere the painfull event an occasion so rare to be heard, as if to vent. Why after all this time, am I hurting like I do? Why am I starting to feel his crime? Its making me so blue. That night, I had blocked from my mind. That night, I prayed would rewind. A true miracle did arise, which I did not know. And to my surprise A little Angel began to grow. From this true story I must confess I found the glory And he could care less. That night, I had blocked from my mind. That night, I prayed would rewind. The accomplishment of nothing, but an innocent girls rape, The birth of my little boy And my reason for escape. J.O.C 4-30-08

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Reannon Brown Sunday, April 27th 2008 - 09:17:41 PM rsbrown @blu.rescare.org The Questions It could happen to anyone, but has never happened to you. So who are you to tell me what I could or could not do? Who was he to cause me pain and make his self feel good? Force me to do against my will what I never said I would. Who are you to look at me and call me dirty names? That nasty son of shit made me do those filthy things. How can anyone say I liked it when the whole house heard me scream? I rarely now can sleep at night and never do I dream. What type of human would take his side defend him in the wrong, And look the victim in the eye and say you should’ve played along? What type of man could go to court and deny just what he saw? Never mind that what his teammate did was against the law. Why is it he chose to steal what he gets all the fucking time? Hers and hers and hers and hers there was no need in taking mine. Why is it that he hates me so when all I did was tell? It was him who made this so and damned his self to hell. He’s 6 ft3 and I’m only 5ft2” so what if I can’t play ball. That gave him no right to hurt me I’m still human after all

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Indya Monday, April 21st 2008 - 05:10:05 PM work@indyalea.com One drink, two drink- This party’s fine Three drink, four drink- A grand ole time One by one, And two by two I drank them all Who could'a knew? Just lay down I’m so tired now Who would’ve known The evil they’d allow One kiss, two kiss- I feel his breath Three kiss, four kiss- His lips are wet Is it a dream? I hope and wish But it’s a nightmare And I can’t do shit I feel my head, It’s hitting something And then he’s inside I can feel him sing One tear, two tear- But he doesn’t see Three tear, four tear I beg silently Why can’t I move? Why can’t I shout? Will it ever stop? This I doubt I pass back out For my own sanity Wake up, wake up! Now he’s shaking me One step, two step- Must get away Three step, four step- I didn’t want to play My innocence he took Something I can never mend The scars he left I can never tend Still I try To be so brave And yet I live life Always afraid One life, two life- They will destroy Three life, four life- They think we’re all toys They never stop Again and again They think it’s a game That has no end So if you hear Or if you see Next time think twice And speak out for me

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Nicole Evans Sunday, April 13th 2008 - 05:42:25 PM evansni@uwplatt.edu Black Girl Pain I live with my head stuck in nightmares But when I wake is what I really fear So I dream I never wake I dream of falling off the cliff Into the bottom of the lake What makes it so scary to you? You have it one year, one night I see it like a plane every 5 minutes taking flight You’re soon to open your eyes I keep falling wishing I finally die I'm a black girl Living in pain Like Grant Hill Injured in games On the outside I'll eventually heal But my heart not beating still I try living on life support Eventually they'll have to pull the plug Cause if I have a problem My friends are my last resort At times I feel it’s me against the world Telling myself I'll get through this Asking WHY Cause I'm too young for this Screaming the words to lil Wayne's "FUCK THE WORLD" And let'em die In the dark wiping tears 4rm my eyes I guess it’s an accessory Of being in pain and a young black girl I know how it feels To be a black girl living in pain But I put all that pain into an envelope with a seal Addressed to GOD Through your son Christ Jesus I pray I send it off, but somehow Return to sender But why…how And every time I get it back… The pain grows Pain from the woman who brought me into this world The pain from when both her hands were tightly around my neck Her knee in my stomach Her shouting the words I’ll kill u, I’ll Kill u, I swear I’ll Kill u Praying one day she might change Do what a mother should do But I guess because she's only one She was unable to make due Instead treated like a reject Never had her respect I know how it feels not to be loved On the other hand I don’t know what love feels like If it’s not someone Insulting me, hitting me, or forcing me Then loved is what I would never want to be It was clear to me Constantly being told "I wish I didn’t have you" Caused this one Black girl A lot of pain Even if it wasn't true Them nights I was over in the other room I guess I couldn't hear you, you assume But I heard it all Night after night It hurt me all Never had a daddy So I put a daddy in his place Maybe that’s how I ended up being a victim of a case Still fresh in my memory The time, the event, the scenery A lot of anger locked up within I think my heart and chest is beefin' The whole situation just eats at me Cutting' my heart with a knife Makes me feel like I could be nobody's wife Never needed no one Damn near raised me Myself was always there for I Just Me when there was no one else So it was just me, myself, and I Up late at night cryin to songs Like Talib Kweli I try Down in early mornings with a full day ahead her She tries to force a smile Trying to depict her as a happy soul I’m tired of her pretending I’m tired, restless I've been at war since day one 9 months before 2.29.88 Still in it 9 months just basic training, before I'm sent To fight to stay alive In this war called life I'm at a point where I’m so overwhelmed I don’t know…I don’t know…I just don’t know I diagnosis the girl within me has black girl pain Cause... Ma never loved me Richard left me Marlon Beat me Matthew he did the best he could with me Brian didn’t care for me Victor teased me Vanessa just couldn’t stand me I came in this world with no family I was never the one wanted to share For me to say something was mine was rare When my innocence was stole My feelings was gone Tooken He robbed me Took my spirits Left me depress to be I let him in It was like I handed him the key But one thing Confronted He claims he wasn’t a thief He didn’t come in the night Through a window Didn’t hide in the dark Plain to see like daylight You were there, and u, also u Dressed in disguise That’s when he came Time and time took what was mine My most valuable possession The one thing I was able to call my own Not knowing what it meant then I just knew it was wrong I’m in a zone, My mind roaming Like it’s out of area like a t-mobile phone Eyes closed Tears rolling’ My body went numb Damn when in hell Will he be done? Never making’ a sound So I held it in 7 years without speaking’ Yeah I wanted to tell it Like a broke pipe I was leaking’ Should have told it But the question was who So for 7 years on my chest is where I let it sit Please don’t touch me Don’t look at me I am who I am cause of he Maybe if Richard was around I would have knew that I was a black queen And what I had to do to protect that crown Diane never disciplined me So Marlon beat me I remember nights The only time when I let go to protect myself If I didn’t want to see the bright light Restricted times when he could beat me Drunk and some nights high I had to go through school days With swollen eyes I could fight back all I wanted Mentally it helped But physically it only hurt me more Causing me A black girl to live in pain Too tired to fight it Gave up the battle when they ran they train When I tell that experience I seem to lie Why? Ashamed! Truth mode: Just not really ready to speak on it A lot of shitty breaks huh Fuck it I lived a shitty life duh Asking God in exchange for my tears just let that girl within me die Cause I no longer wants to be the woman who cries She No longer wants her to be the black girl who daddy filled her head with lies No longer… Say u loves her… But put her in the trunk of your car Sell her and a typewriter so u can get high How could you do that daddy, Richard, who ever are? Look at me I’m standing tall like the statue liberty Despite that God was forever testing her! She did what she had to She didn’t need u then, I don’t need u now I’ll give u credit Cause u wasn’t there Effect she am who I am Black girl living in pain…nah no longer STRONG BLACK YOUNG WOMAN That little black girl is no longer crying No longer wishing of dying With all odds against her, She made it through I’m not afraid to tell her story I’m able to help other little girls and tell them not worry Its brighter days ahead And not to let bad stuff confine them because it will eventually define them I remember the times the black girl living in pain was singing the lines… No one ever told me life would be this hard Growing up a black girl scarred In so many ways I’ve realized I’ve come so far You know the name, but don’t know the pain Black Girl!!!!

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Ruth White Wolf Doughty Wednesday, December 12th 2007 - 02:07:38 AM manicamazon@yahoo.com "Broken Trust" By: Ruth White Wolf Doughty On a bleak Novemeber day, This baby girl was born, A promise from her parents, her safety they have sworn, A precious lil' treasure for all the world to see, This little girl had lots of charm, as cute as she could be, A mothers love, a fathers pride, Dirty secrets we must hide, They dressed her up in frilly dresses, Put curlers in her lovely tresses, A smile to hide her burning tears, She runs away from all she fears, Dealing with her fathers lust, This lil' girl learns "Broken Trust", She looks to mom, but is betray[ed], Shut your mouth, you must obey, With a heart full of anger and regret, And a mind that won't let her forget, This lil' girl becomes a teen, Angry hurt and very mean, Siblings that she must protect, She knows her parents will object, This teen had finally had enough, Now she's a woman, rough and tough, No more anger, no more pain, No more hiding, no more shame, I know this one thing is a must, No child should ever know this..."Broken Trust"

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Ruth White Wolf Doughty Wednesday, December 12th 2007 - 01:46:43 AM manicamazon@yahoo.com October 20, 1988 [I wrote this when I was 16 years old] "The Child Within" By Ruth White Wolf Doughty Who is this child I see, when I look in the mirror each day? I know not from whence she came, but I find her intriguing. My parents don't like her much, they say she is a bad influance on me, all the better. To escape her reality, and to block out the world as she knows it, she paints her eyes the color of midnight! To me she is soo beautiful. I am frightened and trembling, but she stands tall when I am weak and full of fear, and I love her dearly. She cries tears of black for me, to show me her love. She will stand by my side till the bitter end, and protect me with her life. Has anyone else noticed her yet? I wonder? Her spiked heals and leather will keep them at bay, and she will never be held down again. You will all be wondering why? Who did this? Why do I want to keep you out? But you dare not approach me to ask. Just stay away, she will be my only friend, and you will not, any more. The scars on my arms will some day fade away, but the torment on my heart and soul are forever, and will never mend.

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holly Monday, November 26th 2007 - 01:10:23 AM spearsh1@gmail.com May God be with everyone of us as we continue on our journeys in this life....

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MICHELLE A. MCGRONE Monday, November 5th 2007 - 11:24:09 AM mamcgronecompany@yahoo.com http://zerafone.com/phonewise R. A. P. E. by MICHELLE A. MCGRONE TODAY, I AM STRONG AND I AM BOLD HERE IS SOMETHING TO HELP YOU RELEASE THINGS OLD I WAS RAPED, TOO BUT GOD RESTORED ME TO NEW AFTER, HOLDING ON TO THE PAIN FOR 10 YEARS OF LACK I WANTED MY SANITY – YES, MY PEACE BACK NO MORE WILL I WONDER IF, WHY OR HOW I’M GOING TO START, NOW THOUGH, IT DID HURT – I DID FORGIVE BECAUSE, I WANTED TO TRULY LIVE I GOT TIRED OF HURTING TODAY AND YESTERDAY SO, I BEGAN HELPING OTHERS THAT CAME MY WAY NOT ONLY DID THEY RAPE MY BODY BUT, ALSO MY MIND SO, I DID LOOSE AND BIND I USED TO BE CAPTIVE NOW, I HAVE MY FREEDOM AND LIVE I’M NOT SAYING THAT IT’S EASY TO DO BUT, IT’S ENTIRELY UP TO YOU YOU CAN CONTINUE TO LET THEM MOLEST YOUR MIND OR YOU CAN TAKE A BREATH OF FRESH AIR AND UNWIND FORGET ABOUT WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK GOD IS YOUR LINK HOLDING ONTO THE HURT AND PAIN IS AFFECTING OTHERS AND YOU BUT, YOU CAN CHANGE THEIR VIEW WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF REVERTING BACK SPEAK OUT LOUD, “I’M GOING TO KEEP MY PEACE AND STAY ON TRACK TODAY, YOU’RE GOING TO SPRING FORWARD NOT FALL BACK TOWARD THIS BATTLE HAS ALREADY BEEN WON LIVE LIFE AND HAVE FUN DON’T ASK WHY ME FOR THIS IS THE DAY OF VICTORY YOU MAY SAY, “ YOU DON’T KNOW OR UNDERSTAND WELL, I CERTAINLY DO SO, GIVE ME YOUR HAND THIS STORM YOU CAN WEATHER I’LL HELP YOU AS WE DO IT TOGETHER HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND SAY TO THE HURT AND PAIN, BYE BYE LIVE LIFE AGAIN AND LAUGH OUT BECAUSE YOU’RE ON THE RIGHT HEALING ROUTE IN YOURSELF, LET THIS BE THE DAY YOU INVEST AND, AGAIN YOU’LL HAVE SWEET REST RESTORE A PERSONS (YOU) ESTEEM COPYRIGHT 2004 mamcgronecompany@yahoo.com

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pixie Friday, September 7th 2007 - 11:54:58 PM prettypixiekimi@yahoo.com the word rage, anger and fear to my very core inwardly crying and screaming for no more surprised by one and forcefully dragged aside in the dark and overgrown bushes, he yanks me to hide not sure what totally happened kept blacking out threatened with weapon and force...dare not shout i will beat and kill you....leave you here tears and struggles...increasing fear pushing and pulling....causing me pain i was used and abused...trying to shut down my brain he clumsily fumbled on top...he was waiting to attack? prepared he was....for whomever walked the track was i stupidly in the wrong place at the wrong time but, that does not excuse anything...nor any crime he had his sick way....and did the ghastly deed stripping away my heart and soul....my utterly basic need now i struggle and am frightened of way too much i barely sleep...then dream of his wretched touch i can barely speak of it...ashamed of it all never contacted the authorities...could not make the call did not even tell my supposed supportive family i will never disclose to them what came to be am i weak or strong? i have not a clue. emotions are flying high....more than a few i cant even admit...i cant say the word one i never thought would happen to me....a word we have all heard

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... Monday, August 13th 2007 - 06:34:18 AM nataliemclean07@hotmail.com I can’t carry on… I can’t carry on Feeling pain Feeling the shame Its my fault You did this to me I can’t be healed Nothing makes sense And I wonder will I ever heal? I can’t carry on Feeling this shame Knowing its my blame No one understands How this feels But one thing I do know Is I’ll never be healed.

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Deborah Watson(AKAChocolate Wednesday, August 8th 2007 - 07:36:08 PM akachocolate64@yahoo.com http://www.ourchurch.com/member/P/Publishing_Easy/ Hi I am a rape survivor and although I wasn't raped by my Daddy, I know so many girls are. This poem was inspired by the movie"Bastard of South Carolina" Daddy:Deboe He came at me with such a look in his eyes It should have been fine but I wanted to cry He touched me like no man should I thought it felt good Any woman would Thinking Back Now I know why I hated that day It was Daddy It was his usual way

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Marina Gipps Saturday, July 14th 2007 - 12:34:00 AM mjgipps@aol.com http://poemhunter.com/marina-gipps Rape by a Peace-Loving Hippy Teacher showed me how to fix my poems by trying to fix me. Feeling my pink nipples and comparing them to Lewanda’s blue one’s. Lewanda didn’t enjoy it either, he said. But eventually, you get used to it. Interview. Yes but please, Stop it As myselves shrink themselves up and recoil into another sad creature. You’ll finish the interview for me? You tell me to stop crying? I am not a big baby, please don’t call me that. You are like those bullies at school and yet you are an authority? Don’t worry about my grade? All I learned is this: I can barely think with all the hashish you fed me, telling me I needed to relax. What about my sanity, you fat hippie Boulder poser? You dull Berrigan wannabee… I forgot my questions for you that day. These are my questions now. I ask them over and over again: You say I will forget sixteen years later? I didn’t forget for all the glory… that dear god didn’t punish you enough. Only my friend Charlie who accosted you on the street saved my soul. (Thank some higher force for that one kind act in my life. He said you looked scared like a little stuffed, shrimp, you spineless weasel, as he lifted you by the collar in front of students on the street.) And where was your beloved wife, Joanna, of many years? Did you bury her yet? You say she got old and tubby? You want to put her in a box I wish to inhabit instead: dead thing away from your shifty memory. I hope you die of drought in Sedona. Your sabbatical siesta plagues me. Your soul-less poetry has always bored me. I hope more than anything that god (wherever he’s hiding) knocks your lights out. Marina Pilar Gipps

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T.S Friday, July 6th 2007 - 06:01:34 PM healingsurvivor@hotmail.com Hello to all, I wanted to let everyone know That I am not the best person on punctuation and I am sorry about that I just wanted to post some stuff. Thank you Your in my your in my thoughts, your in my dreams when I lay down at night, Your in the morning light when I wake, your in the hugs I receive and In the wind that blows, your in my heart that has froze. Your in my anger and in my fights your in my sadness that has turned into madness, your in my everything!

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kat Saturday, June 2nd 2007 - 01:37:35 AM ksev2b@aol.com http://www.hopeforhealing.org I remember still- I try to just lock away the past, but no jokin myself- the memories will always last i hate goin to sleep, because his face pervades my dreams i try to hide my pain, but i can't disguise my shame my soul feels empty, only filled with fear forever-lasting tears scar the years -God please heal me- One simple request and God's all up in my mess showing me true love- only through his blood my soul is filling up, life's meaning no longer corrupt he makes the night's darkness brighter, illuminating his powerful presence as my fighter

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kat Saturday, June 2nd 2007 - 01:26:13 AM ksev2b@aol.com http://www.aol.com I remember still- I try to just lock away the past, but no jokin myself- the memories will always last i hate goin to sleep, because his face pervades my dreams i try to hide my pain, but i can't disguise my shame my soul feels empty, only filled with fear forever-lasting tears scar the years -God please heal me- One simple request and God's all up in my mess showing me true love- only through his blood my soul is filling up, life's meaning no longer corrupt he makes the night's darkness brighter, illuminating his powerful presence as my fighter

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kat Saturday, June 2nd 2007 - 01:22:42 AM ksev2b@aol.com http://www.aol.com ...

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Kat Saturday, June 2nd 2007 - 01:17:55 AM ksev2b@aol.com I remember still- i try to just lock away the past, but no jokin myself, the memories will always last i hate goin to sleep, because his face pervades my dreams i try to hide my pain, but i can't disguise my shame my soul feels empty, only filled with fear forever-lasting tears scar the years. -God please heal me- One simple request and God's all up in my mess showing me true love- only through his blood my soul is filling up, life's meaning no longer corrupt he makes the night's darkness brighter, illuminating his powerful presence as my fighter

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Kat Saturday, June 2nd 2007 - 01:10:53 AM ksev2b@aol.com Dreaming- Encircled by terror, his face appears in a thousand mirrors all out pain and shame, I sure gotta tame this game because i'm not the same i'm on a different page, this one lacks rage i'm not confined to a cage time to say goodbye to the pictures and open up to the scriptures this is where the truth is told...the forgiveness road i can drop off my load and get back what was sold to get respect for myself is the object i'm dealin to see my new light will lead me to heaven this ain't a gift i'll be sellin the only angel i'll be feelin is the ones that be singin no pcp trip compares to that intriguin legion this light is legit, ain't no fake colors to submit

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Deana Wednesday, April 11th 2007 - 11:45:37 PM babieblues5775@yahoo.com Fading tears my tears may fade away but the pain bestowed upon my heart hurts everyday. the scars that you'll never see are the ones that lie inside of me. the bruses that made me strong are the reminders of how i was almost gone. my strong will and soul is what gave me the fight to keep looking for a hope in life the wishing and hoping to see the light of another day is what i kept in sight as i began to feel the shame and the pain of something i could never begin to explain. as the weeks turned into days a new life became. her name is donna page, she is the last piece of me that he would ever see. now as he suffers as i once have i begin to put the pieces of my life back.

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AngelJess Monday, April 9th 2007 - 04:30:15 PM angel.catling@gmail.com eve thoughts i pull him off memories woven they cling like an old dress binding yet familiar i am unused to comfort now a stain lies left across my nakedness despite the times I scrub hard will this imprint on soul on skin dirty red on what i desire so clean leave someday all so unexpected yet welcome? i would stand tall relieved yet fearful of new vulnerabilities and wish for clothes to hide in © JAN 11/8/06

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Wendy Thursday, April 5th 2007 - 05:46:42 AM Wendy91386@yahoo.com A Memory The cheap brandy scorched a path down my throat While the crisp beer chased it away The freckled orange filter of a Marlboro rests between my nicotine stained fingertips "A memory can be..." The skunk scents of the pot permeate my sweater Their grayish-blue wisps slither through my hair "...a paradise from which..." The tan and grey couch makes me itch While the liquor and drugs seep into my consciousness Making everyone's voices drift into swirly sounds "...we cannot be driven;..." The bathroom is illuminated in a harsh, yellow glare The toilet is cold as I stare out the window The gargle of the toilet reminds me of the ocean As the mirror's truth makes me walk away "...it may also be..." The bedroom's floor is strewn with used and putrid clothes It's bed is bare, purple, and flowery- a deception A window is cracked open, the bitter winter penetrates my skin "...a hell from which..." My virginity is stolen on the deceptive bed My innocence buried into it's deep purple My purity layed to rest amongst the dirty clothes While snowflakes swirled slowly to the ground "...we cannot escape."

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Stacie L. Hodge Thursday, March 22nd 2007 - 07:35:14 PM shodge3885@jcjc.edu I am a freshman in college and am desperately trying to overcome the trauma of my rape. It's been two years, and still it haunts me. I have periods of time where I'm ok, and then I get his with overwhelming and intense feeling all at once. I have no one to talk to, no one who actually understands, and no resources! Is anyone willing to help?

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Heather Tuesday, March 13th 2007 - 03:29:08 AM hantoll@berkeley.edu I saw your poem postings, and I got inspired. I thought I'd post one too. May all the other survivors reading find such a good outlet. The scars are still there Although they have healed, Shiny and white The scabs have all peeled. The welts that were there Have faded as though The skin has a mind To forget what it knows. But the heart is a camera, It takes what it sees. It cannot forget, It won't be relieved. Suffering, loathing, Vengance and hate Are captured within With no route for escape. The heart will remember, And keep its effects With tiny red fingers That interlace and connect. What does it want With a past overcame? And those sudden reminders That fill us with shame? The answer perhaps Lies still in the heart. To find a luminous life, One must know the dark.

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emily george Monday, March 5th 2007 - 07:14:55 AM night falls fast shadows of the past reaaching streatching strangl;ing my mind cant break free cant escape me everything is lost everything

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whitney Bell Sunday, February 11th 2007 - 03:53:31 PM 10_wbell@stagweb.fairfield.edu Choice i said no; but you dismissed it i pushed you; but i became bruised i didn't want it; but you said i did . . .and now. . . i can't say yes; because you didn't listen i can't put up a fight; because i'm far too broken i can't want it; because you took away my choice -whitney bell

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Lori Saturday, January 6th 2007 - 05:15:35 PM nitedreampoet@aol.com Marriage Rights Naked bleeding tasting carpet she gathered what he didn't take the flow of this wife's lesson ran slowly down each battered thigh It made her sick to stand up straight she couldn't even say her name her body screamed in sickening pain but it never made a sound She heard his evening shower start her pieces fell from soapy flesh washing away marriage rights as good as new he'll come again Why did she have to buy that dress? wear pretty jewelry and get her hair done she even smelled of powder roses pinkened polish on her nails Long before the roast beef tendered before the candle spilled it's color he quickly grabbed her tiny throat pinned her body to the wall You nasty little whore who have you been doing? come here let me smell you you will learn to be my wife She buttoned broken buttons washed dinner dishes twice poured herself a cup of tea swallowed pills to make her numb She hoped tomorrow would never find her but the day broke with her bones she never saw the hammer coming smashing cracking her sleeping skull Tomorrow found her once again in a coma morphine pumping she couldn't even say her name her body screamed in sickening pain ...but it never made a sound

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Amber Friday, December 8th 2006 - 04:28:23 PM Barneyroxmysox2@aol.com http://www.myspace.com/lonelynbroken "A Day In My Life" A day in my life, you could'nt bare. being constantly put down, only an objext at which to stare. when you always watch your parents fight the hatred never stops, day after day, night after night. then when your mom finally gets away, you have to helplessly stare as her new boyfriends beats her everyday. you think your life cant get any worse, because its already so far from prefection, that is until you realize you have become to object of his affection. Moms never home, but hes always there constantly hitting you and pulling your hair. you lay silently in your bed night after night eyes full of tears, soul full of fright. you think about dying, as you lie there dying, hoping he'll go away, silently praying that he wont want to play. despite your desperate attempts, he always came, making sure you knew that you were to blame. you know no one will understand, so you never tell, you just await the end of your life, the end of your living hell.

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Catherine White Wednesday, December 6th 2006 - 03:09:26 PM polynesiangirllionesstruth@yahoo.com http://yahoo She was such a shining star So beautiful and happy...with the world at her feet She twinkled...and she danced...and she impressed the world with her grace and charm. Her family were so proud. And one dark night...as she lay sleeping her last pure sleep He came for her. A masked man with no face...and he traced the curves of her body with his hunting knife And he took her soul...and put out the shining star

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Catherine Ann Tuesday, December 5th 2006 - 02:23:04 AM frame@vcn.com Monsters are for Real Catherine Ann when I was a little girl, i wanted a dad. I got one. what a dad!! he played with me, he bought me toys, he tickled me – a lot – don’t all dads?? i don’t remember when my dad turned into a monster i don’t think it was suddenly but suddenly that’s what he was. monsters come out of the dark – that’s what he did. monsters do mean things and hurt you – that’s what he did. i was the only one that knew everybody saw a nice man. i thought they were all blind, or maybe i was just crazy. “how nice that your dad loves you” “don’t talk bad about him, he’s your dad” can’t anybody but me see that he isn’t my dad HE’S A MONSTER COMING OUT OF THE DARK. didn’t anybody want to know why he wasn’t my dad anymore? didn’t anybody care enough to ask? didn’t anybody wonder why the little girl cried so much, especially when she had to stay home and play mom? my mom told me there was no such thing as monsters. she told me there was nothing to be afraid of in the dark. but deep down inside, i knew she was wrong. i knew it was a LIE. monsters are for real, and they live in the dark – but the scariest part of all is that they look and talk like real people in the daylight. Now I’m a big girl, but I’ll always believe in monsters. Sometimes I still dream about them, But if I wake up they go away. I wish that would have worked when I was little. I’ll always listen when children tell me they are afraid of the dark. I’ll always try to help them scare their monsters away. Because even though my head might tell me they don’t exist, My heart knows better – monsters ARE for real.

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quinna Thursday, November 2nd 2006 - 07:09:59 PM holy2@jesussaves.com im sorry it happened tome also but im still scared

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Christy Bateman Friday, October 13th 2006 - 09:06:30 PM clbmaltese@aol.com " Fragments" Scattered fragments, pieces of me. Shards of all I once knew laying scattered and shattered, all around my dreams. Where is the little girl I use to know where is the adventorous adolesentent I once was, what happened to the young adult who planned for so much. Where did she go? I once was so full of vivacious, precociousness with lots of energy. My charismatic presence filled the air, though now only stall dank air full of sadness and dispair replace it.

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Elizabeth Sunday, September 24th 2006 - 04:10:11 PM ThornyFlame2Deep I was Living Truely Living I am a Survivor I had passed surviving I was Living Living Really Living Wonderful Husband Beautiful Children Little hands in mine Trusting Eyes No Lies I was Living I KNEW it would be different for them I was Living A man, a boy The most horrible threats I was LIVING Men in badges Shiny red hats Tears on my face Your supposed to protect the children Why wouldnt they listen Their tiny hands My baby girls Angels, soft hair and sweet kisses They raped me I saw my baby girl... A man on top of her Where are those men Badges Shiny red hats I begged you to protect us Before it happened I begged them tears on my face Wonderful Husband Beautiful Children Little hands in mine Trusting Eyes No Lies The man the boy I told them what theys said They called me crazy mommy and babies were raped Men with badges and shiny red hats A wonderful husband conviced his wife was crazy They raped me I saw my baby girl... A man on top of her Why didnt they listen? I was LIVING No more little hands in mine They raped us all and called me crazy Now theyre gone I WAS LIVING

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Kellie Thursday, August 31st 2006 - 11:03:09 AM KellieKelleher@tmail.com http://www.myspace.com/kelliekelleher thanks for invite. i should've known... because of what you did... what you still do... you messed me up for good. called me up, innocent enough... u certainly took too much. "just come over, i'm having a party" and then... it's like i shut my eyes and i'm lying on the floor, pinned to the floor. Saying no, yelling no... saying no. his smell like foul play, hand over my mouth, his force. no stop, please someone help. "you know you want it" STOP! "don't fight, i'm stronger" Pleae don't, NO! it's not what i want. you're hurting me and you're taking pleasure in my pain. I'm numb... i open my eyes and i'm running home. a two hour shower.... 6 years passed by with two thousand showers... i still smell... his foul play.

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Just 15 Wednesday, August 30th 2006 - 03:32:32 PM Alone… Have you ever felt so alone in the world, You’ve turned ya back on ya friends, Not realising it was you facing the wrong direction, An easy mistake to make, with not such an easy correction, Sometimes the way we interpretate people and situations, Is different to one another, Perspective, often with error, a mistake of our own creation , And yet it may take days, months or years to even realise, That our view on things can be full of illusions and self lies, Lies that we never wanted to make, But our self-conciensnous did through anger and self hate, As though we were not feeling down enough as it is We cut deep enough to hurt but never kill Torture to our bodies, punishments that can make us ill But even after punishment is over we continue to harm, Scaring evidence left to fade from our arm A catch 22, a circle of pain but our sense is hard to find and regain But theirs always someone out there who will do all they can To set our minds straight and relieve us from the pain And leave our minds at rest under the orders of sanity once again.

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Kirsten Saturday, July 22nd 2006 - 05:38:12 PM kirstenfollman@msn.com http://www.myspace.com/kirstentheonethatcantlive I love the surviors that can stand-up to their attackers even if they may not know who they are!!! Im not a survior because I wasnt a victim but thankyou for sharing you ideas and memories with me and others that have been to this site!!! love and always charish life even if its hard Always and for ever...Kirsten¢¾

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Christine M. Tuhy Thursday, July 20th 2006 - 02:19:49 AM lasolapaloma@yahoo.com I stand before you in wonder, a wonder, the world's Eight, eighty-eighth, eight thousand eight hundred and eighty-eighth You are not a fish but a firefly. (No waters could contain you) Wings larger than life, paused before me Light softened like dusk, yet another miracle of you (This softness, woman-miracle) Shines radiant, iridescent through Your translucent wings, large like atmosphere Fragility I gaze upon, dazzled Not by your beauty but by your wings, (Great daughter of fire and air) Your wings paused before me, giant whispers Mine the eyes that look Mine the eyes that close tenderly, moist In awe of your softness, and light Mine the eyes that see These wings let so much light shine through Because they're broken in a thousand places Living, breathing, fluttering proof All that holds us together on this earth Is Angel's breath and tears.

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Brittney Friday, June 23rd 2006 - 07:26:50 PM shamrock51288@yahoo,com A single secret, Long kept deep inside, Tortured a soul, Forced a girl to hide. Memories of pain, Feelings of shame. A life torn apart, limb from limb, Soon to be together again. The flower blossoms, From beneath the dirt comes a life, Shadows disapear into the light. No longer the need to run, No questions asked, She won!

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Wendy Friday, June 23rd 2006 - 03:16:16 AM wendy91386@yahoo.com Alone and Scared The brandy burned its way down my throat and the couch was digging into my back The room was dark and smokey as I watched you drink your twelve pack You took me to your bedroom clothes everywhere, no sheets on the bed I passed out after you said you'd be right back and woke up to you pushing me down, heavy as lead You forced yourself inside my body my virginity you tore apart I could feel my tears streak down my face and hear the breaking of my heart You buttoned up your pants and left me in the room Laying on the bloody bed That became my innocense's tomb I ran home a bloody, crying mess and cried myself to sleep I never told anyone Of the wounds that cut so deep But when the truth came out It was like no one cared So I went back into my room Alone and scared

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Wendy Friday, June 23rd 2006 - 03:16:16 AM wendy91386@yahoo.com Alone and Scared The brandy burned its way down my throat and the couch was digging into my back The room was dark and smokey as I watched you drink your twelve pack You took me to your bedroom clothes everywhere, no sheets on the bed I passed out after you said you'd be right back and woke up to you pushing me down, heavy as lead You forced yourself inside my body my virginity you tore apart I could feel my tears streak down my face and hear the breaking of my heart You buttoned up your pants and left me in the room Laying on the bloody bed That became my innocense's tomb I ran home a bloody, crying mess and cried myself to sleep I never told anyone Of the wounds that cut so deep But when the truth came out It was like no one cared So I went back into my room Alone and scared

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Nicky Wednesday, June 21st 2006 - 05:35:54 PM i_survived_so_can_you@yahoo.co.uk The night I'll never forget I walked home all alone that time, Despite what people say. I can't believe how stupid I was, To go down that hidden way. I took two steps, just out of sight, That's when he appeared. I knew strait away what he had in mind, What I had always feared. He pushed me up against the wall, And held me by the throat. He undid his trousers, And ripped open my black coat. He held his hand across my face, As he reached right down my top. I tried to scream but nothing came, Only a whisperer, 'STOP!' He didn't listen to my request, Instead he carried on. He had me pinned to the floor, Then my bravery had gone.

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Barbie Monday, May 29th 2006 - 10:42:21 PM palapala35@aol.com There Is A Script For Rape You Know There is a script For rape you know You have to fight I did not know I did not fight I did not cry I used my mind To stay alive They wrote this law You have to fight They have the script I have my life!

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sara dobrosky Wednesday, May 3rd 2006 - 01:20:58 PM sexydobroskybabe@yahoo.com hey

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Emmy Saturday, April 1st 2006 - 03:31:06 AM southernsmilz@aol.com

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Wendy Monday, March 20th 2006 - 11:51:07 PM Wendy91386@yahoo.com Here is a poem I wrote about my experiences with rape and it's reprecussions. (I wrote this while listening to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, so if you have it play it, it really compliments the poem) Clarity I needed to forgive myself Accept my past And that I couldn’t change it So easily said But not done… I looked into my past I tried to face it Usually I just ignored it But… It was creeping up on me Always threatening to boil over Hiding just below the surface Slithering beneath my façade They say you’re past shapes you If that’s true Then I must be a bloody bruise The byproduct of hatred’s wrath Manifested into fists… Innocence could never withstand that But I could I couldn’t replace my innocence The void it left Allowed room for hatred And it poured in And I welcomed it It made my self-destruction easier Made it easier to look in the mirror The hatred fueled me But we all know the flames only last so long When hatred turned to embers And my soul was drenched in blood I looked at my reflection And saw eyes that knew loss It was then that I truly saw myself One moment of clarity gave me insight… I survived

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Danielle Tuesday, March 14th 2006 - 08:21:18 PM desacrt5@hotmail.com My name is Danielle. I am a rape survivor of 8 years. I am also a third generation rape survivor. I wanted to submit this poem because I felt like I needed to. Silent Scream I feel the cold ground underneath me. The pain and horror of his force, takes my breath, my soul, my dignity. I scream the utter noise of silence. I am paralyzed with his scent. The stench of his breath. I grow numb as he lifts himself from my motionless body. I lie there on the cold ground beneath me. Lifeless, my skin permeates of that plundering creature. What can one have after self is stripped of its purity?

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JO Sunday, March 5th 2006 - 02:08:44 AM My feet were free. But could not run They flex And point And flex Towards flight But are held by the legs Pinned to the seat Above the feet that are free. They circle to the right to the left to the right again Toes clenched Against the Pain Searing and Buring Every Inch But my feet were free. --J.O. I am screaming but no sound is coming out.

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Yvonne Friday, February 24th 2006 - 09:15:39 PM football_babe1987@yahoo.com “Why Me?” Why did you do this to me? Was it something I did, Or was it something I said? I told you “No”, I didn’t want to talk about it, But instead you enforced it. You violated my mind, And you got your way. Now I am sitting here in pain everyday, Thinking” Why me?” I go on “trying” to act like nothing happened, But it shows. My friends see it, Teachers see it and my family as well. There is just no way of hiding the pain, guilt and loneliness. My whole life has changed, Because I thought I could trust you, But a moment later you changed. I trusted you like everyone else, You were a teacher, A role model, And a friend. Now because of one little mistake, We are enemies. The wounds and pain are too real, To real to completely heal. You use to capture me with your light, But now I am bound with the pain you left inside. Your face is everywhere I go, Whether its to school the store or mall, You are there, At least to me you are. The pain and guilt has caused me so much misery, I cant trust myself, But let me ask you this question… If I cant trust myself how can I trust others? I will never be the same again, So don’t worry, You got what you wanted, But this situation has taught me a lesson, A lesson that was learned. So now I will be stronger for myself, And others as well. Just give me time, Only time can tell. ~*~Yvonna Fay McCarthy~*

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Dazzle Sunday, February 12th 2006 - 02:38:42 PM DazzlingxFaery@msn.com http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Pixee_Faery the poems here have totally made me feel that i'm NOT alone and i thankyoo for that! i would like to share my poem to give back the favor! Angel Teardrops My guardian angel, once careless and free, flew into the clouds and lost touch with me. Her tears were cold and wet, falling on my face. Her smile had left us without a trace. Her angelic lips quivered, frozen and scared, I felt rain clouds visiting, and had to prepare. I knew that angels, often content, were very special presents that God had sent. To see one so sad, so afraid, so alone, had made me weep while the cold winds had blown. Her wings lost feathers, comforting and soft, falling from the stars, floating aloft. Her pain was felt throughout the land, to feel true misery is impossible to stand. I prayed so that when her hurting stops, I'll be able to taste the angel's teardrops.

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Kim Reed Monday, February 6th 2006 - 03:03:30 PM kreed@co.fresno.ca.us

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louise Wednesday, January 25th 2006 - 09:06:32 AM louigie88@msn.com It started as fun Jus me an u hunny bun Kisses at the gate After a romantic date Now tho u fill me with HATE Snoggin on the street Oh why did we have to meet? Ur touch is so tender Ur such a great pretender Ur breath on my neck Ur nose I wanna break Stale and stinking from the dope an the phete’s As you force ur hand down my sweats 2nite uve bin drinkin Uve taunted me 4 long Coz paranoia got u thinking That with u my heart don’t belong U say u love me, this has gotta b a lie Coz den why u makin me wanna cry? Coz ur on Para’s It’s me u embarrass “Admit it u little mef” “Jus coz Michaels deaf” “It’s him u luv” This coupled by a shove “Oh poor little deaf boy” “Cum on luv why u bein coy?” This is ur sayin “dominate and destroy”. The more I beg The more u enjoy The nite of our last date We never made it to the gate This is why there is so much hate He walked me home He even rote me a poem He was sorry for last nite He knew he wasn’t rite We took a shortcut It’s soft underfoot I’m slightly aware That we're nearly there I’m really glad That tonight hasn’t been bad Tonight uve been a normal lad This makes me sad Wonderin at what we cudda had But only a tad Coz I kno that wiv u drugs isn’t jus a fad Tonight we part I kno I’ll break ur heart U need a little tart An I need a fresh start Lost in thought Of battles we’ve fought He led me to a bush In with a push I’m 5ft 5 small He’s 6ft tall Up he lifts me I feel summat hard behind me His body’s got me pinned A wall or a fence Wait this doesn’t make sense His hands maul Away I crawl It’s not a caress He gotten me in a state of undress He always joked that trakkies made easy access What a beautiful act Executed with so little tact Opening me like a flower He is so full of power Its cold out here but I can’t feel it even tho now I'm sober It’s the start of October All I kno is fire An my situation is dire He drops me like hot coal It’s my virginity he’s stole. Para's= paranoia Mef= idiot phete's= amphetamines trakkies/sweats=tracksuit bottoms louise

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Adria Ferrero Tuesday, January 17th 2006 - 07:38:47 PM thesex101@hotmail.com DRINKS. It all starts with one drink, One mistake Is all it takes. Have A few friends over, your parents will never know. You start feeling dizzy & Giddy, Cant see straight, can't keep things still. Lie down, hush, and it will stop. They come in and see you, silent and still. They wonder, "wil she ever know?" Unzip the pants, take pff the shirt. Just one drink, is all it takes, and then you loose control. one after another, sip by sip, but hush my parents can't know. The one thing you wanted to keep, taken away by just one drink.

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Amber Monday, January 16th 2006 - 03:27:14 AM lil_rebell@yahoo.com I accept this shame I feel the guilt I tried so hard My life rebuilt I trusted you With heart and soul You took away My life a hole. I screamed for help But no one came No one heard me Call their name You took from me What I thought was mine True innocence My life divine.

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erica Wednesday, January 11th 2006 - 08:17:16 PM so close we were till that day fast asleep i was u got on top and pushed 4 something u new i didnt want but fast asleep i was. when i knew what happen didnt no wut to do. i was just 15 and never felt so lost or betrayed u took my trust my pride and everything i was. not oonce not twice did u hurt me a horrific memories trapped inside my brain that i cant escape.

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Erica Wednesday, January 11th 2006 - 08:00:13 PM ZaNiECHIK@yahoo.com http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=37719907 u say i wanted it but did i u dont now couldnt move fast asleep u took something that ment everything just 15 lost in the world no one can feel the way i do not once not twice u think ur nice but ur not u lost it the nite that u raped me

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Danielle Monday, January 2nd 2006 - 01:51:43 AM dpebbles468@frontiernet.net My Soul He held me down, As he forced himself inside. He silenced my screams, As he tore apart my life. He ripped away my freedom, As he killed me inside. He betrayed my trust, As he stole my pride. He took away my choice, As he stripped my soul. He freed my inner demons, As he took my self control.

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Anonymous Tuesday, December 27th 2005 - 12:18:03 AM James You say you’re sorry, You say you never meant to hurt me, But you did, You raped me. You admitted what you did, But now you deny it, You claim you didn’t penetrate, But how would you know it was my body. You were too busy pleasing yourself, You didn’t even notice the tears streaming down my face. I confided in you, I trusted you, I loved you, And you betrayed me.

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anonymous Tuesday, December 27th 2005 - 12:16:10 AM Sean I was only eight, Yet you took the last of my innocence. She pulled down your pants but she was also only eight, You continued after that. You had us change in front of you, That’s where it all started. She egged you on, She laughed as you stole what I could never get back. I was shaking I was so scared, While all it would have taken was a scream, For my mom was right above us, But I was paralyzed, For I could not move nor talk. You did not only take the last of my innocence, You gave me herpes, A terrible disease I must live with for the rest of my life, A daily reminder of what you stole from me.

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Danielle Field Monday, October 10th 2005 - 08:54:05 PM dpebbles468@frontiernet.net These poems are great. They are very intense, and help people around the world.

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Danielle Field Monday, October 10th 2005 - 08:53:49 PM dpebbles468@frontiernet.net These poems are great. They are very intense, and help people around the world.

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Danielle Field Monday, October 10th 2005 - 08:49:45 PM dpebbles468@frontiernet.net I wish, I wish, I wish that I could fly Away from this place of hell and leave behind My bad thoughts and pains so I can fly high And be with the birds in the sky that are kind. Leave these evil things which haunt me Night and day these images play today They kill me inside and never let me be Others did this to me, yet I must pay. But I must say there is no anger within The only anger I feel is toward myself It’s not my fault but it still feels like sin I can’t help but say I’ve gained some wealth. And now I’m getting better so I can be free These experiences have helped me to see.

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Danielle Field Monday, October 10th 2005 - 08:48:35 PM dpebbles468@frontiernet.net The past is a hard thing to escape, When all you have been exposed to is hate; Abuse was an everyday struggle, My only defense was a big bubble. He took my innocence away from me, Was it too much to ask to let me be? I was forced to grow up when I was six, Maturing fast there was no simple fix. Told that it was how you express your love, Really messed me up; there was no kind dove, To point out his ugly persuasiveness, Soon after this I felt the worthlessness. An epidemic of abuse followed; In my pain and tears is where I wallowed.

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Danielle Field Monday, October 10th 2005 - 08:46:38 PM dpebbles468@frontiernet.net The past is the past, it cannot change, But why must it haunt us and cause us pain? I did not seek help when it was in range; Was all this hard work and struggle in vein? I understand his sickness and forgive, I just do not understand this one thing, Why do I not hate him and choose to live? He threw me around and thought he was king. He took my innocence away from me; How could he rationalize what he did? Was it too much to ask to let me be? I trusted him for I was just a kid. When he was mad he did not give a damn, Who he hurt because in the end he ran.

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harley Monday, September 26th 2005 - 05:16:31 PM jabaharley@yahoo.com Tears flow down from her bruised face. She tries to muffle her cries. She fears he will return. Her cries are heard, he returned. Another swing to the head, and another. The next time he hit, she went black. When she comes to, her father was still there. This time he looked happy. Maybe he was happy she was alive. Maybe he was happy she can stil get up. Maybe he just wanted to hurt her again. His arm reached down to life her. She saw a tear in his eye. So sincere, she kew the fights were over. She waited her whole life for this. Just for a father, not a fighter. Her dreams finally came true.

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harley Monday, September 26th 2005 - 05:15:32 PM jabaharley@yahoo.com Tears flow down from her bruised face. She tries to muffle her cries. She fears he will return. Her cries are heard, he returned. Another swing to the head, and another. The next time he hit, she went black. When she comes to, her father was still there. This time he looked happy. Maybe he was happy she was alive. Maybe he was happy she can stil get up. Maybe he just wanted to hurt her again. His arm reached down to life her. She saw a tear in his eye. So sincere, she kew the fights were over. She waited her whole life for this. Just for a father, not a fighter. Her dreams finally came true.

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Tanya Sunday, September 11th 2005 - 03:12:37 AM paradiceiscoming http://www.myspace.com/iloveyourskinohsowhite Its To Hard To Bare...These feelings.. It's all taken over The pain the emptiness The insanity It's too hard to bare The fear the pain the anger My heart has turned cold From your unnaturally natural ways The way you can take sanity And innocence away And take some ones mind and twist it around to make them think they are the ones who were wrong To make them think it was all there fault You have got me You have me in your trap You have twisted my mind into your wrath You have me where you want me Afraid...feeling worthless... feeling empty… Not able to go on living life the way it should be You have me thinking about you, not even knowing that I do I can truly say I'm afraid You haunt my mind, you haunt my thoughts, my dreams my soul... Not a day goes by that you don't run through my mind Your voice your face your actions the way you tore me apart Everything repeats.. daily...horribly I can't show you What you have done to me How you have recreated me What you stole from me The anger and pain you have given me I hate you I truly fucking hate you I hate your face.. Your smirks your laughs Your ways of thinking you did nothing wrong And the way you think you will be able to get away with what you've done Your eyes your stare your mind you manipulativeness I hate the way you ruined me from the inside out I hate everything about you You will get what's coming to you... One day you will feel all this ... all this I feel inside... but 10 times worse... I hate you and I hope you fucking die while you are getting raped... I hope hell treats you nice

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Sally L. May Wednesday, August 24th 2005 - 10:57:52 PM may_16_2007@hotmail.com Yesterday you hurt me” Yesterday you hurt me, But I think it was my fault, Cause I’m the one who made you mad, And I’m the one you mad you sad, I thought that I was through with you, But you wouldn’t let me go, I thought I could make you leave, If only my love didn’t show, Yesterday I forgave you, Cause I think it was my fault, And when I came to school today, I acted like nothing happened, Today it still hurts inside, And all I can really do is make it all hide, Cause yesterday you hurt me.

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roxanne Thursday, August 4th 2005 - 08:34:04 PM psyco_chick@hotmail.com i needed to help a friend get throught this her experience. their are awful people in this world. plz take the advice that parents used to say dont saty out late, dont get into vehicle with stranger never unexpect the underestimated be cautious someone might not be who they seem to be

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Barbie Sunday, June 19th 2005 - 09:25:30 PM kuuipoy2kbarbie@aol.com I wrote this poem for my therapist. One day I want to tell the world what transpired in a book. But for now a short poem of appreciation... ...I remembered the attack 4 months out......and I saw my therapist wipe a tear from her eye.....and I wrote this little poem for her..So here goes... Luv, Barbie I saw the tear fall from your eye And I was mad he made you cry But we're both human I can see Thank you for helping me in therapy!

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Barbie Sunday, June 19th 2005 - 09:24:53 PM kuuipoy2kbarbie@aol.com I wrote this poem for my therapist. One day I want to tell the world what transpired in a book. But for now a short poem of appreciation... ...I remembered the attack 4 months out......and I saw my therapist wipe a tear from her eye.....and I wrote this little poem for her..So here goes... Luv, Barbie I saw the tear fall from your eye And I was mad he made you cry But we're both human I can see Thank you for helping me in therapy!

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Barbie Sunday, June 19th 2005 - 09:14:57 PM kuuipoy2kbarbie@aol.com Lady Liberty Lady Liberty, where were you the night I was raped? Where you out with Justice helping someone else? Can you tell Justice to please help me? The law did not care, they set him free Rape wasn't a crime in this state yesterday.2005 Barbie in MD> no conviction MAY 2003 He's free!

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Ali Thursday, April 28th 2005 - 11:46:54 AM alibabbwa1@hotmail.com Hurting heart aching pain horrific memories trapped inside my brain I cannot escape I cannot flee for my persuer is family I gave him my love like a true daughter should I gave him my trust like a child would he built a relationship then went in for the kill he told me he loved me and that he always will rubbing, fondling, moaning and groaning shock and disgust rushed through me inside I knew I had to get away knew I had to hide I made an excuse to get away told him to stop and tried to go sometimes he held me, never letting me go My spirit was broken but I was too afraid, to shocked to tell it would throw my mothers life into HELL years and years the abuse continued I slipped into silent agony trying to ignore the memories until one day it all spilled out in a mess of tears and my mothers doubt nothing happened and I felt ashamed maybe this is the way families behaved Now it is out it has surfaced once again and I realize it is wrong now I can begin to heal, and for the first time in a long time my heart fills with a joyous song the abuse is over I am finally free

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hayley jennifer Tuesday, April 26th 2005 - 12:36:45 PM madonnagrrl@comcast.net Nine years ago....... Innocence ended; body disemboweled; Lucifer befriended.. His voice lingers in me like that in a song..... it's too much to bear "don't worry, this won't take long." And I cannot come to grips with what's been taken away... too young to wed, yet too old to play. Look in the mirror; did I do something wrong? "don't worry, this won't take long." Some wounds do not heal with time; as I still your face next to mine (when I sleep) Put on a brave face, though it's hard (to keep) the appearance of normalcy, yet, still I press on..... "don't worry, this won't take long."

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Barbie Wednesday, April 6th 2005 - 11:28:43 PM kuuipoy2kbarbie@aol.com A poem: I would like to say to anyone sitting home crying and feeling sorry for themselves to stop, journal , focus on helping other people and affecting change in society and the laws, and making the world safer! Clueless: I found the blueprints I located the key To open the secret treasure box To look for clues For healing within me. But what I found in the box Was a map to your house And all this time spent on me When you held the clue That helping you Is what healing Is all about! Barbie ( raped 03 no conviction)

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Barbie Wednesday, April 6th 2005 - 11:21:58 PM kuuipoy2kbarbie@aol.com I would like to say to anyone that is sitting there feeling sorry for themselves to please stop. In my state of MARYLAND....a 12 yr old child was raped by three men. I used to feel bad for myself and then I thought of this poor child...and what would you say and do to make her feel better or safer... For one I write to delegates in my community to institute tougher laws...be an advocate...to help other people: here is another poem:I would like to dedicate this poem to everyone that has been hurt (raped etc)to reach out and help someone else, because that is what healing is all about! Clueless: I found the blueprints I located the key To open the secret treasure box To look for clues for healing within me But what I found in the box Was a map to your house And all this time spent on me When you held the clue That helping you is what healing is all about! Love, Barbie (raped 03 no conviction! He is still free)

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Barbie Wednesday, April 6th 2005 - 11:03:40 PM kuuipoy2kbarbie@aol.com No Crime Was Committed No was committed I have to go I'm at my max On overload Please don't hang up I was raped I was there Please listen to me Don't you care? What you see on the outside is not what he's like He's angry He's violent He raped me last night. Bye, Barbie

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Barbie Wednesday, April 6th 2005 - 08:04:25 PM kuuipoy2kbarbie@aol.com No Crime Was Committed No was committed I have to go I'm at my max On overload Please don't hang up I was raped I was there Please listen to me Don't you care? What you see on the outside is not what he's like He's angry He's violent He raped me last night. Bye, Barbie

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Alycia Sunday, March 13th 2005 - 11:13:50 PM mad_midget_40@yahoo.com Poor Thing You'll Never believe the nightmares Never know the pain you caused You'll never feel the scar you left The things you stole and everything I lost You took my body and tore it in half You took my childhood my heart and my laugh You took everything I kept for myself And now everything is gone I made a mistake going with you But you made more than a mistake You made a choice Your choice left me scared and hurt I couldn't face anyone I was too ashamed The day you left I was relieved And now your back and I can't breathe I thought I was over this Now I'm not so sure When I think about it I'm tired of living with this all on me Some say I should forgive and forget But I'm gonna make the day you met me A day you'll regret Now your gone from my life And I'm not your poor thing anymore

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Alyssa Tuesday, March 1st 2005 - 09:36:58 PM lzd714@aol.com HE RIPED APART MY FREEDOM HE TOOK AWAY MY CHOICE HE BURNED MY INNER SOUL HE SILENCED MY SCREAMING VOICE INNOSENCE IS GONE LEFT WITHOUT A TRACE MY FRAGILE HEART'S BEEN SHATTERED REPLACED BY EMPTY SPACE PRETEND IT DIDN'T HAPPEN JUST A HORRIBLE DREAM I INSTANTLY WAKE UP WITH A PAINFUL, CRYING SCREAM IT'S NOT A DREAM, IT HAPPENED THE DEVIL STRIPPED MY SOUL AND AFTER HE WAS FINISHED SO WAS ALL MY SELF CONTROL REALITY'S LOST FOREVER HAPPINESS SLIPPED AWAY NEVER AGAIN TO RETURN DARKNESS FILLS MY DAY ...alyssa...

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Alyssa Tuesday, March 1st 2005 - 09:27:56 PM lzd714@aol.com these poems made me feel not so alone. thank you.

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Patty Friday, February 4th 2005 - 02:32:44 PM pattygallagher6@hotmail.com http://profiles.myspace.com/users/4657261 I'm a survivor Don't think you got away with what you did to me You try to hide what really happened, shielding people to see We both know what happened on December 15, that warm Wednesday morning When my whole life changed forever, it came down pouring I came over because I thought you were a great guy I never thought later on I would be asking why? You took something away from me I can never get back Being raped by you made me realize what you lack You lack manhood, a real man would never commit such a crime You will pay someday, just give it time I am angry and confused as to why you lied to the police You told them I had consented, the truth should have been released Devestation, humilation and hatred are some of the feelings I felt You made up a lie, and for that lie one day you will melt You'll melt when you die and go straight to hell where you belong I hate you Phil,what you did to me was wrong

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Shanna Wednesday, December 22nd 2004 - 07:02:16 PM shanna.hudson.19@csun.edu Emergencey 911 I heard the abmulance go off and I wonder if it's coming for me. Coming to rescue me from my own captivity. I hear the siren going off and it sounds the same as my repeted sobs of hate, anxiety and fear. I hope the nurse can revive my mind body and soul to fill the emptyness he left behind; a hole.I remember it like it was yesterday, he ripped off my pants and stuck it in me, disregarding my innocent plea as he repeted over and over agian, " hold me." I realized the battle I had to fight I'd lost so i lay back in submission to save my life at all costs. But the burning desire with in my heart would not give up and let me fall appart. Pushing him away get off me I scereamed and he did after another hour it seemed. When he finished he wanted to sit there and talk. But me I went in my room, my door I had to lock. He used the bathroom and washed his hands, little did I realize a perfect stranger was soon to become my biggest fan. Phone call after phone call from area code five six two talking some mess about I never ment to hurt you. But I knew better than to answer those calls; but what I didn't know what that one of his friends live just down the hall. To this day I still resent, the one thing he claims he never ment. but how can you take something so consecreated, my dignity, my pride, my love of life is now all jaded. Every night I lay me down to sleep, the tears trickle down my face as I weap. He's out there somewhere I know that much. The fact the police couldn't catch him make me sick to my guts.

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shanna Wednesday, December 22nd 2004 - 06:48:54 PM This isn't really poety, more like a journal entry, but here ya go. The Aftermath......2 months later. Life is still spiraling downward.So badly I had to set up an appointment with my therapist, so badyly I'm getting more depressed, so badly I want to hide and shut out the world, so badly I wouldn't answer the phone or make the phone call.I almost feel like I've regressed after making so much progress. The more I have to cry, the more I don't want to. I've actually found that I can escape into a book and forget about the pain which was once emotional and mental, but has now escalated to something physical. I can't breathe. It's like ya know when your friend jumps out and scares you and you have that initial feeling of being startled. That's the feeling I have in my chest all the time, sometimes less than others. Today I took a nap and just layed there waiting for either the pain to go away or to fall in to a deep sleep of supperssion and utopia. I didn't want to think, I didn't want to feel, but I did. Then I picked up I know why the caged bird sings and got lost for an hour in the 1900's where racism was prominent and 2 black children experiance it's wraths. I'm only 50 pgs deep, but I don't care what I read as long as long as I can comprehend the words and paint vivid pictures in my memory to erase the ones that normally appear. I'm at the point where I'm so unstable,I could cry at any moment. I hate the way my eyes fill with tears and the tears sit right on the brink of my eyelid ready to fall and trickle down my face like a rain drop trickles down a window on a cold stormy day. I hate the way my nose burns like when you touch hot metal from the seat belt in the car. At first the pain is intese, but slowly it dulls and the pain subsides. I hate the way a lump forms in my throat like when you swallow a little too much food at once and you're not quite sure if it's gonna make it down and it's some what painful but bordering more on discomfort. I hate the fact that everyday I rise it's a constant battle with food. I'm so consumed and conserned with what I eat, how much I eat and how often I eat. Sometimes I almost have and anxiety attack when I go to the fridge. I get that same suffocating startling fear with in my chest and I take food out, put it back, throw it away, get some more and engourge myself in a feast of fats, carbs and calories. Afterwards I feel guilty and I just think about how I'm one step closer to getting fat and I fear that I won't be able to fit into my clothes the next day. I think about how everything I eat has an effect, even if it's just juice and not 100 percent juice. I think about how I'm not excercising cause I'm out of season and I'm already on the brink of disgust with my body and how I'm slowly loosing muscle. I look in the mirror and I see my defined abs but I also see my imperfections which stare back at me and standout on my body. I look at my hair and I see the uneveness, the split ends and the dull color and I pull it up to hide it's imperfections. Then I look at the cat and I am green with envy as I see her resting and living in a state of utopia that I could never reach. Eat, sleep and play. A life with no stress, no real fears or threats only the the happiness of a cat nip toy and mouse. and I realize her brain is far to simple to comprehend the dissonance and disheartedness society is filled with. She lies there peacefully purring. As I watch her flesh move up and down and I see the light shine on her fur; shades of brown, black, tan and white. She possess something I don't....Happiness. I can't even read mom my writings anymore. Is it because they've become so personal I can't share or because I'm ashamed? Ashamed of the intense and deep feelings I have? It's reality. A reality she never knew I had the potential to reach. A reality she never knew I could feel. But that's just it....I don't think she knows.... I don't think she knows that I DO FEEL.

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shanna Wednesday, December 22nd 2004 - 01:46:29 AM shanna.hudson.19@csun.edu A new hate grows for people everyday, especailly when I begin to realize the games niggas try n' play.But the hate I feel was caused only by me. Because I am a slave to my nievety. If I was a little bit more street smart and knew my surroundings would I still be in a situation where everything is not so astounding? Now, I walk though life with my guard up for protection. Only to make sure it isn't me who faces rejection. So I figure if I keep people at a comfortable distance, I will always be able to watch them and not be caught in the same exact instance.

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shanna Wednesday, December 22nd 2004 - 01:38:29 AM shanna.hudson.19@csun.edu Life has change and along with that so has my world view.I sit here and wish I could go back and start everything over again; like new. The hate that lurks with in my soul continues to burn like a never ending coal and it keeps buring until the happiness is gone and my emotions are non exsistant; they are dull.

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shanna Wednesday, December 22nd 2004 - 01:20:57 AM shanna.hudson.19@csun.edu I want that numbness to come over my body so I can't feel because I fear that if I do everything will again become real. I can't tell mom cause she thinks everythings fine, I don't want to stress her out anymore, she doesn't have time. But I need that special friend on who I can depend and run to when I am scared and hurt and mad.But I don't know where I would begin. I hate being dependant on other people for support, but it's not fair to me because my feelings I need to abort. I need someone who can tell me it's gonna be ok and sooner or later the sun will shine my way. I'm sick and tired of running around bitter. I can't wait until my mind, body and soul become a little bit fitter. Because even those who you think you can depend on, have things to do other than worry about you from sunset until dawn. Going to a psycologist to get help is no fun. It only admits to the world you've got problems and on your heart they weigh a ton. Everyday I awake and wish to be within the norm, and I know that I am in some shape or form but once my heart stops all this hurting, maybe I can stop all this poetry and so called wording

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shanna Wednesday, December 22nd 2004 - 01:10:27 AM

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Violet Thursday, December 2nd 2004 - 01:36:59 PM jc_jasper_cat@yahoo.com http://freewebs.com/vimontmarquette It feels like years But I can't wash off your scent And I still have scars From where your sweat seared my flesh It feels like hours When I see only your face Through the drops of water That won't wash your hands away And, it's funny: I'm not ashamed I'm not angry I'm just scared I'm crying for the freedom I'll never find As long as my body is here to remind me that I'm not safe It feels like years But I can't wash off your scent And I still have scars From where your sweat seared my flesh It feels like hours When I see only your face Through the drops of water That won't wash your hands away

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p-nutfunky Saturday, November 27th 2004 - 01:36:00 PM peanutfunky@hotmail.com Why did you have to take what was mine? Coudnt you just think about me, for once? You have crossed the line!!! I dont know what your thinking, I dont care that much either, but why? I can hear you thinking now, I can hear you say: 'its okay, it's okay, it's okay, what is she on about anyway?' YOU KNOW! I KNOW YOU DO! You took what was mine, you took what was mine! How could you, i hate you! I'm crying out to you to JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! Give the control back to me! You control me! And you took what was mine? Can i ever have closure? Are you listening at all? Is it too much to ask? You dont get it? Do you? do you? You dont! You think I liked it, don't you? Didn't you? I'm sure you do. You think i liked it, and the worst thing is, that i dont know what to say.. I cannot say yes.. or no.. I dont want to lie.. HELLO? I WAS 5! I WAS 6. How the hell would i know? why did you have to rape me? How can you live with yourself? How? If i cant, how can you? You were the responsible one? I'm crying out to you, I'm little again.. I'm 5 again... I know you'l never answer me, i have known for the past 12 years.. I am scared.. I try so hard but i cant talk anymore.. Maybe i should stop? Crying out to you..

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p-nutfunky Saturday, November 27th 2004 - 01:33:10 PM Why did you have to take what was mine? Coudnt you just think about me, for once? You have crossed the line!!! I dont know what your thinking, I dont care that much either, but why? I can hear you thinking now, I can hear you say: 'its okay, it's okay, it's okay, what is she on about anyway?' YOU KNOW! I KNOW YOU DO! You took what was mine, you took what was mine! How could you, i hate you! I'm crying out to you to JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! Give the control back to me! You control me! And you took what was mine? Can i ever have closure? Are you listening at all? Is it too much to ask? You dont get it? Do you? do you? You dont! You think I liked it, don't you? Didn't you? I'm sure you do. You think i liked it, and the worst thing is, that i dont know what to say.. I cannot say yes.. or no.. I dont want to lie.. HELLO? I WAS 5! I WAS 6. How the hell would i know? why did you have to rape me? How can you live with yourself? How? If i cant, how can you? You were the responsible one? I'm crying out to you, I'm little again.. I'm 5 again... I know you'l never answer me, i have known for the past 12 years.. I am scared.. I try so hard but i cant talk anymore.. Maybe i should stop? Crying out to you..

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p-nutfunky Saturday, November 27th 2004 - 01:24:21 PM www.opendiary.com and look for Time 4 Healing

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Darlene S Bryan Wednesday, November 24th 2004 - 02:56:06 PM jimndennb@compuserve.net lost walking in the dark no telling what is next and the anxiety drawns my heart starngers so familiar his voice wont go away the road is stretching on i feel ive been walking for days i fix my eyes to the sky i want to prey to god but the heavens are gone black fire fills the streets hope spins into reality this monster i can not beat

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Katie Monday, November 8th 2004 - 01:32:51 AM ket1118@mail.ecu.edu we are the lucky ones we are survivors we get the chance to share our story we're alive to warn others to let them know that it can happen to them too we can spread our knowledge we can say i am strong i have made it out alive it's not easy to do it's torn our world apart but we're HERE we have the power to move on to leave this bastard in our past although we'll have memories often we can do it we can move on and live our lives don't let yourself be a victim what happened sucks and was indescribable but living your life is what this bastard took away prove him wrong go out and be the great woman you were meant to be you were put here for a reason and to sit in self pity is not it you are beautiful with scars, yes but everyone has them they may not be this deep but they have them too remember there's others who have been through this some worse some less but our feelings were all the same now it's time to show what you're made of stand up strong smile the most beautiful smile and walk on because we made it through it we are survivors we are the lucky ones!

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giggles Monday, November 1st 2004 - 08:42:51 PM allboutdafunk69@sbcglobal.net i wanted you at first i thought i needed you. i loved ur lips ,your eyes, your hair, your imperfections. i traced your face down 2 my breast licking ur lips for just one bite. thats all u wanted from me u hurt me inside u found out my lie. u ripped me, kicked me, hit me, all because i thought that u were everything to me. i knew it was wrong u were to old but now time has passed and i am lost, your in jail and i am pale with tears.

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Esprit Wednesday, October 27th 2004 - 04:05:27 AM n/a I wrote that poem on one of my more difficult nights and sent it to 1 person. I posted it on here because I want to heal I don't want to hurt I want to be free. The reason why I called it torn isbecause that is what I am right now I am torn. I am torn between life as I knew it and the life I now see through differant eyes. everything is now scary and everything about me feels dirty and unclean. I lay down at night and listen to that horror everynight. I have been this way for 3 nights now tomorrow is the fourthday another day to attempt at healing. Thank you

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torn Wednesday, October 27th 2004 - 03:52:43 AM never knowing, unexpected painfuy you watch reallity disconected as fear moves one more notch Crying is not a abilty Screams can't be released frozen, threatend by hostility beat down by the beast Ripping of the cloths watching pride deminish fighting painful blows will the tourcher finish the pain just throbs always feel the touch inside the heart sobs the pain is to much All people knowing feeling uneasy, unclean time ever slowing thoughts, dreams now obscene When will it Stop When will fear go aside drinking a painless swap fear and reality colide thoughts of death attempts to the end holding my final breath thoughts, attemps, now contend my heart is torn Forever will I cry my body, scorn now, goodbye

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sierra Wednesday, October 6th 2004 - 05:22:15 PM lilteaser88@aol.com Black dreams, dark dreams, dreams of horror, dreams of betrayal, but are they just dreams or are they memories, flashbacks, flashbacks of a time that hurts to remember, a time you try to forget but everything brings back memories of, memories of betrayal, memories that abase you, memories of terror, the terror of being held down and forced into submission, forced into submission of your innocence, forced into submission of your body, mind, and soul, raped, black dreams, dark dreams, dreams of horror, dreams of betrayal, dreams of rape.

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Alycia Sunday, October 3rd 2004 - 09:07:09 PM racer_chick40@hotmail.com

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April Thursday, September 30th 2004 - 11:53:30 PM n/a Excelent site. It really helped me.

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Samantha Blum Thursday, September 30th 2004 - 07:55:58 PM drdreamer2000@yahoo.com we went into a cave to explore mine currupted cunt carries on this cunt feels its compolserary to comply slurp, slut-swallow no toxins to blame it for no toxins to explain it for crator sized canyon men with crator sized cocks seeks classless cunts, actionless cunts whores are in his holy book fingers force the walls of the cave dowwn imploy, dystroy- making it unclean you just thrive for the horrified harlots only crafty cunts cream control she is not that creative.

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Emmy Tuesday, September 14th 2004 - 06:31:48 AM dasweetlilkitty@gmail.com You lean over her frail limp body And stare at the piece of paper Holding her cold little hand You wish you could’ve saved her One so young hopeful and happy But was so full of pain That sweet little smile brightened you day But never will again The small curled lettering Her last words to you “I love you and I’m sorry” Enough to give meaning but way too few With the knife to her wrist Her life was cut short Wishing you happiness Being her final thought The crimson blood staining your hands Not knowing how much pain she went through Your heart left weeping Her story was true Why didn’t you listen when she cried out You were the only one who knew Confused and tormented She ran to you But you didn’t understand What you meant in her heart Her soul has gone So it’s too late to start What that man did to her You knew you couldn’t heal But still you could’ve held her And told her how you feel She’s gone now Her heart has stopped its beat The house is cold and quiet No noise coming from the street And in this silence You shed that one lone tear For the girl you loved and cared for The one that you held so dear In memory of Bree I miss you girl you'll always be in my heart I just hope they find that man and cut him down to size No-one needs to be put through as much as she was RIP Bree

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liz Saturday, August 28th 2004 - 09:28:07 PM gemkurt@aol.com BOBBING ON THE WAVES OF LIFE SOMETIMES MOTIONLESS SOMETIMES ROUGH ANGRY ROARS, AS WAVES CONNECT,THE ROCKS VAST OCEON OF LONLINESS. BEYOUND BEYOUND A GREY SEA,COLD AND FORMLESS MET A GREY SKY I FELT MYSELF BEING PULLED TOWARDS OBLIVION, WHERE THE FOAMING SEA SMASHED AGAINST UNFEELING PEBBLES CRASHING RATTLING,FEAR GREW STRONGER A TANGIBLE PULL TOWARDS THE EDGE OF NOTHINGNESS THE EMPTY VORTEX.

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chrissy Sunday, June 27th 2004 - 09:31:15 AM twisty328@writeme.com I would like to post some original poetry , may I?

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sierra Sunday, June 27th 2004 - 03:58:37 AM lilteaser88@aol.com I hate you for what you've done you took my innocence all in fun The pain you gave is all too real physical and mental i still feel You left me here cold with rage so much anger, such a young age I'm trying to forget the past but these painful memories i fear will always last Regrets are all that fills my head as I'm lying in my bed Then I fell like i did wrong had a few beers, hit the bong But then I rememberall the times I tried saying no pleaded and begged for you to let me go I tried to fight you but you were so much stronger than me couldnt get away so you heard my persistent plea but you didnt care how much i cried you didnt care that I was dying inside You entered my with no remorce taking me with so much force Hurting from all the pain you brought It hurt so bad, more than you thought after you were done you threw me to the side i got away and told people, but you lied you made everyone believe im some kind of whore you said I wanted it and asked for more why couldnt you just take responsibility for what you did why'd you have to rape a kid I am only 15 years old i hope you know this grudge i will hold i hope you remember b/c i know i will the anger i hold makes me want to kill i only wish the cops would have gotyou and that everyone would believe my words to be true what i really wish is that it wouldnt have happend but wishes dont come true in the end just know that i will come for you someday i will get you.. somewhere.. some way

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Sierra Wednesday, May 26th 2004 - 02:22:39 PM lilteaser88@aol.com Painful Path of Memories The path im taking is forever long tryin to undo the wrong As pain ful as that road may be Im trying to erase that memory The night started all in fun but turned tragic when it was done With a clouded mind i tried sayin "No" Tried to run but nowhere to go Do i not have a say I never thought I'd lose it this way What happend to that romantic night Making love by candle light Now that dream is down the drain Forced to lay here and take the pain After its over and I'm all used I lay there feeling torn and confused How could this have happend to me My life WAS going perfectly I'm tired of every sleepless night when terrible dreams awake me in fright Im continuing down this long road to finally release this painful load.

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megan Wangall Thursday, May 6th 2004 - 08:32:03 PM megankristy@yahoo.com You wake up in sweat Always looking over your shoulder Aware of all people around Nightmares consum your sleep Fear takes over your life You do not fall but get up Realization sets you free It's not your fault you were touched by unwanted hands You are courageous Enduring all obstacles Make you live once again Strength is found within You are now a survivor

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Priscilla Thomas Friday, April 30th 2004 - 02:18:11 PM priscillamariethomas@yahoo.com http://www.geocities.com/priscillamariethomas This happened to me about 5 yrs ago... I hope the telling helps someone else to come forth and be healed. Almost ------------------------------------------- She drifts through life so innocent thinking of the great romance Until one day she meet a champ so it seemed in her ignorance He walked the stage, golden in his self glory white smile as he told stories She never thought, She never guessed That it all was done in jest Mistaught she began to notice things like his words with the hollow ring Mistrust she began to feel when he pressed close, hand clasping her waist Misdeed His mistake, when her, he began to case Almost was my theme because I remeber not even trying to scream as he pulled my hair, I scratched his face Time Ticked The Dying Race I refused to let him see my fear as he fought to pull down my underwear fought to claim me fought to a fevered pitch until with a few well placed kicks, a right hook and a brick I was able to finally end it. Almost in a dream state Sunday morning, I thought of heavens pearly gates As I sat in church and watched him parade on that golden stage In a purple costume dressed to assume His carefully thought up place He sought to dismiss a ALMOST rape because a leader a pastor one who leads the church coudn't be touched by such dirt I've finally met my beast and she came forth waiting for the kill I Almost forgot... I am a Warrior still So, Now I wait, I bid my time because I know as his blood flows The time ticks and because of it I'll have my chance To take his life from his hands...

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Veonica Michelle Epps Thursday, April 29th 2004 - 02:26:44 PM goodgirl5981@yahoo.com I've been Rape I was crying out for help but pain is all I felt As he put his hands around my throat I began to choke And, he laughed as if everything was a joke In my vision It look like smoke To me, it felt so sore I ask, why did you do this for I had alot of love in store He did me wrong I tried to reach for the phone And he pulled out his cone And asked me to give him some dome I said no And he threw me on the floor He pent me down and ask me how this sound He kicked me in the chin then I knew my life was about to end I knew I had to try, or I was going to die I asked him to let me go he replied "oh no" I tried to fight back And I cried out stop "Zack" He started to get slack He went out the room And there out go "Zoom" out the door, I screamed out "Zack no more" I ran over to the old lady's house Where it was quiet as a mouse He ran over there too Sayin I love you boo For a minute, I didn't know what to do I told him, its threw After that, he went back I ran to Betty's home When they asked me "What's wrong?" Then I told them I'VE BEEN RAPED!

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Nadean Alleyne Saturday, April 10th 2004 - 12:34:43 AM prayerwarrior4u@hotmail.com we speak of shame we speak of guilt how about those who cant even express express feelings of doubt and shame cant anyone see the filthiness all over my body the guilt and shame in my eyes doesnt anyone see how you're dying on the inside the longing, the desire to be freed, of the staunch, the smell, all that is devalued and unworthy..........

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pollock Thursday, April 8th 2004 - 12:46:08 AM bulletproffBaby@peoplepc.com JUST WALKING DEAD AFTER THE VIOLENT CYCLE OF YOU I'm so sad, can't stop crying Didn't go to the Unversity today, just couldn't think. Just got the word from surgents, something else that you took from me durning the abuse I took. I vowed I would love you and I did, but how I survied you is not understood. Flashs still go thur my mind, waking at night shaking,sweating and wondering why that I am still so afraid. Only thing I can say to any person that feels the need to cause another pain. No matter how mad you get, don't do something that someone will live to regret. Never hit, nor take what was taken from me. My him, my he, my husband, took my dignity. My heart, my soul, my inside of whom I was and left me wondering.... But that was not enough for him you see. He taught me fear, he gave me nightmares with lack of sleep. He didn't stop there! In the end he took, my face, he took my life! But how can this be you ask, your alive!!!! There is no justice for this tradgy! There is no justice for what happen. He got away with it and me, I'm just another number amoung the "walking dead"! How do I feel, how do I deal, with this violence aftershock. Waterworks is all that is left and he didn't take that. I have gone thur the cycle of violence with husband abuse, I was a victim and now I am a survier I know! I'm sure that if he could he would, take that too. But I'm here telling you, if I can make it thur the darkness, pain and horror of Domestic violence, so can you! God be with all of you, there is a light glowing at the end.

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Kimmy Willis Thursday, March 4th 2004 - 12:57:46 AM wwillis5@cfl.rr.com Life A Circle Also a Square Rough Edges Loose Ends Circle Stretched Put in A Box Hide from the World Its Cruelty Misfortune Upon Me Doubt Consumes me Fear my enemy Won't Leave me alone Like A friend that I dont want around he won't go! Life I love it Does it love Me?

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Elizabeth Lee Monday, March 1st 2004 - 04:19:25 PM dumbkittykat@hotmail.com Hello- the web page said i may post my poem here it's rather long..but it's just how it turned out.. The sheets. The sheets fall in their place As I make my bed. I breathe in the fresh dryer sent And close my eyes. I remember how it was before Before he left, before I was free. Things that he's done, stay with me now Never to be forgotten, maybe coped with. Each day I begin to be stronger More and more like a survivor Then a tanted, torn victum. I fell more alive each day Rather then dying with each passing hour. I look foward to the morning, when I lay down to sleep Rather then dreading another day of vived memories My time for refreshment, comes with making the bed. A weird therapy I am assured. But theres something about taking the old, dirty sheets off, and replacing them with new clean, and fresh ones. Elizabeth Ashely Lee-17- "No longer will I be a victum"

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Sandra Fulmer Monday, March 1st 2004 - 12:53:47 PM Sandy29127 To My Rapist You don't know The strength it takes Not to kill you You have no idea Of what you stole Or maybe you do I am trying to Rebuild my life After what you've done There is no solace Only anger and pain I won't kill you You deserve worse than death You are so pathetic, You'll do it again I'll be there

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Sandra Fulmer Monday, March 1st 2004 - 12:51:20 PM Sandy29127@aol.com To My Rapist You don't know The strength it takes Not to kill you You have no idea Of what you stole Or maybe you do I am trying to Rebuild my life After what you've done There is no solace Only anger and pain I won't kill you You deserve worse than death You are so pathetic, You'll do it again I'll be there

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Sandra Fulmer Monday, March 1st 2004 - 12:47:34 PM Sandy29127@aol.com Survival Yes, I'm still breathing Walking among the living I feel empty and hollow Like I should be dead I am angry and afraid My heart is full of dread I do have hope I remember the person I used to be Who and what I was Before that night You stole her from me. I sometimes see her reflection That woman who was so carefree Only then do I know Not only have I survived But, I will Live again!!!

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Kalie Wednesday, February 18th 2004 - 07:57:36 PM burnt_pistonz@msn.com YOUR PLEASURE IS MY PAIN You felt the pleasure, while I cried. Taking from me, my only pride. Threatened me, with my life, while to my neck, you held your knife. I was just a toy, now gone from your mind. But unlike you, I'll never forget. Because your ways were so unkind. You're a filthy male, I'm not your fan, and from my life I ban. While I screamed, Blood entered my mouth, undertaking my soul, while with the devil you teamed. A piercing pain, you began, it's never stopped, from this what have you of an hour of gain? I HATE YOU. (copywritten 2004. Kalie)

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Jai Sunday, February 15th 2004 - 11:10:22 PM charmed_gurl82@excite.com Some Poems: "Freedom" Fist pounding on flesh The copper taste fills my mouth Anger in his eyes; black with hatred Pain followed by apologies Flowers to mend the battered Gifts to keep the silence Words of venom sting a tender heart Pain that lingers wakes me Wrists are bound, held down Turn away it will be over soon Expression of tenderness or another form of torture It means nothing Lay still he'll be done soon I break inside and pray: "If this is love set me free". "silence" Countless faces I can't really see I know they're there A hunter never stops They flash against my mind It's all my fault That he hurt them too Silence lets the wolf stay free Others cry into the night Only to bleed in the morning And hide it with a phony smile in the afternoon And all your suffering is my fault I'm sorry Please find the voice I couldn't

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Bryesha McCullough Monday, February 2nd 2004 - 04:13:17 PM TaStEtHeRaInBoW1533@hotmail.com

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Melissa Monday, February 2nd 2004 - 01:51:50 AM rociobeck@homail.com Last December You came without warning I never knew you were even there, I wasn't yours to take You obviously didn't care. You made me belive I was wrong Everyone else did too, That I made it all up What was I supposed to do? You took the easy way out blaming it all on me, I will no longer be your victim I will continue to be free. Rape is what they call it Yet no word can describe the pain, something as horrible as rape doesn't even deserve a name. If you were locked away Lucky is what you would be, You deserve the same as I will go through Like life long pain and agony. My life will forever be changed by something I will always remember, It's been over a year now To be exact, last December.

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Willow Rosenburg Saturday, January 31st 2004 - 12:35:04 AM DarkSpiritualRaven@yahoo.com Sitting here, You think it's over You think you cannot go on. You think that you are nothing, Just a worthless pile of living trash With absolutely no purpose. Oh, if only you knew how wrong you are. If only you knew how strong you are. If only you knew... Heed my words, oh lost one. Draw from this the strength you need To get on with life. Worry not about whether or not to talk to someone. Do not be afraid to reach out. Do not be afraid to ask. Do not fear. You have heard my messege. Let these words written here guide you to a better Lifestyle. Hope is within your grasp.

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Peyton Sunday, January 11th 2004 - 06:39:33 PM PeytonSIA@AOL.com Hole of Silence: There is a vengeful, burning pain of memory in her chest. She is imploding in spirit but clinging boldly to the sensation of hope. And yet, she has the Disease -- it's catching -- every 90 seconds now they say. She's trying to save what was left of her - but it's always just a matter of time before the shrapnel begins to rip her guts to shreds again - (because real annihilation happens from the inside out.) Clingling boldy to the wreckage, editing as she goes and stopping, Smacked hard, right there in her tracks if she feels she might fall apart .... .... keeping the narrative linear, ...always linear. Oh, but The Scream has grown too big now, bursting up through her throat, ripping through her memory, wiping out her soul with no containment of her blood or grief. AND STILL SHE NEVER MAKES A SOUND. No one hears a thing. Because as violently as it began, The Scream recoils, turns in on itself, sinking back into her body and taking her with it into a dark, black Hole of Silence. THE CHARM: Stalk me, rape me Walk away Silence, madness Night turns to day Blade at my neck blade at my breast i give what i can he steals the rest. Torture, torment Sick, twisted love This isn't what men were supposed to be made of. Beat me, rape me Leave me with your rage All hope is gone Trapped inside this violent cage. Torture, torment sick words that maim Silence, Madness Ripped Open In Shame. Beat me, rape me four times, The Charm So much carnage, so much harm. Lost inside the memory Tears i cannot control Forever remanded in blood Never again whole. Judgement day is wasted ~~ he's released in a few short years While i have been held over in a prison of fear. Stalk me, then rape me Spirit slowly erased My soul pours out in blood My strength has been displaced. Memory rapes me again and again The blade sharper than ever Tangled in this hnightmare of violence With a shame i cannot sever. Torture, Torment Sick, Twisted Love This isn't what men were supposed to be made of.

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P. Bowman Sunday, January 11th 2004 - 06:22:30 PM PeytonSIA@AOL.com

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P. Bowman Sunday, January 11th 2004 - 06:22:01 PM PeytonSIA@AOL.com

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Nicole Sunday, January 11th 2004 - 08:44:39 AM lolliezx@yahoo.com.au The Fight to Forgive What you did left a big whole in my heart Something no one should have to impart I have been taught that forgiveness is the key It can make me ‘everything I want to be’ I want to be loved and give love in return And not fear the sake of being burned I want to scream just to say That my life should matter to me everyday My life has been short at only eighteen My will to live is not so keen I’m trying to forgive but never to forget The way you make me fell regret I should have spoken up I should have said That what you made me do makes me want to be dead I can’t help but think it wasn’t your fault Perhaps I said or led the revolt If it was me I’m truly spent Because I can’t beat the feeling of being bent My heart pounds every time I remember The times we had together I was once told the world is a f***d up place They were wrong to label it with no grace There must be joy that can be found Not everyone is sexually bound And now I set you and me free To my heart no longer be I want you to leave me and my family alone Because you no longer have a hold over my clone I am to be me And I want the whole world to see That I can be me because I am not alone

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brittany Wednesday, January 7th 2004 - 06:50:15 PM brat007brit@cs.com i never thought it could happen to me the sweet little innocent girl who was to know what was to go on i went into a room with a boy older than me and what i got was a night to remember he raped me and beat me till i couldnt move i never told but now i know i have to suffer the pain because i have no one to blame i never thought it could happen to me, but guess what it did how will i ever let it be? brittany age:15

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Nikki Friday, January 2nd 2004 - 02:20:09 PM NicholeMichele83@hotmail.com i was there as he stole my childhood as he stole my dreams, and killed my soul I saw his eyes, the emptiness as his whole manner grew so cold I was there as my world came to a hault fear, rejection, shame could never describe I felt the pain , I experienced the moment Sitting on the bathroom floor i cried I was there when the love I had , died no longer was I a child, he took that away I was now diffrent, I had to be a woman He stole part of me I didnt want to give that day I was there , I saw his eyes, i felt his breath I'm still there , with pain no one can see I was there, he raped me, I'm left there He moved on, and I'm left with the memory

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Ilsa Westmark Saturday, December 20th 2003 - 02:30:29 PM charliesayngelc@aol.com The Unforgiven Reminiscing years gone past. Feelings of regret, remorse and all that's relinquished, The unresolved, unforgiven & unforgotten need for their soul's to repent unto firey pits in hell. Not even my Master of this mangled Labryinth can fracture icy acrylic shells of torment. Towering the worlds evil in the highest skies below me I secure beams of steel. I'm eternally enclosed in this full metal jacket. My infantry builds walls and welcomes armies of evil minyon's just nursing lifetimes of mazes within. Deadend, nowhere mazes surround my weary soul. Empires I created just incubating my confustion & sadness, accompanied by a diverse dimension of each rendition. You get the idea, you too will soon give up on me. My worlds will not merge as one even for one single ray of light. eternally alone in black solitude, continuously attempting usless efforts to find Peace of Mind. For the eternal bloody rule, written in stone, No mercy here infinately. Mercy..that diversified rapture..never to penetrate my weary soul Ilsa Copyright ©2003 Ilsa L. Westmark

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patti Thursday, December 18th 2003 - 02:25:28 PM pduffymp@earthlink.net tread softly as you enter the cave of my heart speak softly as you speak my name softly, tenderly do not envy my passionate lover he has prepared the way His name is Jesus and his words dispel my fears and scatters the darkness as he bids you enter in.

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moon Wednesday, November 26th 2003 - 12:59:22 AM mmonjune4@sbcglobal.net crazy? Am I crazy can't you see what's moving inside of me? A dark cloud now lifting to reveal the painful memories etched in steel who can see flashbacks inside me tearing me apart with glee who can see anxiety killing memmories truly chilling who can see body aching with memories quaking They only see hardworking and professional stubborn and careful They only see wife and mother cute children to care for Am I Crazy? Can I survive, What's inside?

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moon Wednesday, November 26th 2003 - 12:58:59 AM mmonjune4@sbcglobal.net crazy? Am I crazy can't you see what's moving inside of me? A dark cloud now lifting to reveal the painful memories etched in steel who can see flashbacks inside me tearing me apart with glee who can see anxiety killing memmories truly chilling who can see body aching with memories quaking They only see hardworking and professional stubborn and careful They only see wife and mother cute children to care for Am I Crazy? Can I survive, What's inside?

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TJ Tuesday, November 18th 2003 - 02:36:07 AM http://www.illbehavedmind.web1000.com/ Wonderful poetry. So much emotion,and recovery. Thank you for sharing your work.

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Anna Monday, November 17th 2003 - 12:07:22 AM xaenna@hotmail.com I am 17 years old. Writing is my life. I was raped 2 years ago by a few different men within a week. I was completely lost. It is coming up on the 2 year mark and I'm terrified. I am a survivor but sometimes I don't feel like it. The man who reaped me first is in prison for drugs. He is getting out on the 2 year date from when he raped me. I ran across your website and I think it's great that all of you have the strength to go on and to write about it all. I'm scared to talk about everything that happend. But I think that you are all great. Keep remembering that you are a survivor. I have to remind myself that every day.

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don't want to say Tuesday, October 28th 2003 - 04:07:30 PM I thought that I knew him, I thought that he cared. I've never felt this worthless, Life seems so unfair. He put on a front, That he was a good guy. Then they raped me, Now I wish they would just die. We said we were "in-love", " We finally found someone we could trust", But when push came to shove, Our relationship went to dust. He cheated on me the whole time, When all along, I thought he was only mine. Saturday was a horrible night, I got so drunk, That I could barely put up a fight. They were "man enough" to rape me, But not "man enough" to admit it. I just want everyone to see, All the bad things they did to me. They called me names, Hit, pushed, and slapped me. They said I was to blame, But I can't understand or see. Almost every night I sit and cry, Thinking "God, Why me?". With no answers to anything, It's so hard to want to be. But what's done is done, We can't change the past. So I slip into the future, With these sickening memories that will last. Praying " GOD PLEASE", "JUST LET THEM DIE FAST"

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