
Welcome to The Landover Baptist Church Guestbook,
If you are not saved, GET OUT and STAY OUT!
but stop by our T-Shirt Shop first.
God Bless You If You Are Saved!
Wednesday, February 3rd 2010 - 07:32:16 AM
My name is, BrotherShawn My e-mail is, shawn4rolltides@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: Telling kids to take money from there parants to give to yall then tell them to hate there parrants. Lord help your souls this morning. Please please get right with god. This is not of god. not at all and you call your self a church lord please jesus help yall. I will pray yall will take this down and noone will send you no money. Jesus have mercy on your soul
Sunday, December 6th 2009 - 10:27:57 PM
My name is, Noah My e-mail is, noah@comcast.net I have a page at, http://cosso.9f.com/hydrocodone/norco.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://decio.9f.com/luvox/luvox-cr-side-effects.html">luvox cr side effects</a> is about luvox cr side effects... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://nonstoptaxi.szm.sk/lipitor/">lipitor</a> is about lipitor... Looks like a beautiful facility, I know how rough it can be starting from scratch. Look here our site I have done it twice in my life and if I ever do it again it will be for my own use only, not the publics, but for now it helps to pay the bills.
Sunday, November 1st 2009 - 06:04:42 PM
My name is, Minnie Mouse My e-mail is, Mousetrap@cheese.com This is what I have to say: Landover Baptists, you're raving lunatics.
Thursday, October 29th 2009 - 10:35:54 AM
My name is, DOLAMIKE My e-mail is, fahqbush20002000@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: THIS WEBSITE IS MADE TO MOCK BUT I GREW UP WITH A STEREOTYPICAL EVANGELICAL SOUTHERN BAPTIST ENVIRONMENT AND IT IS SO SAD AND TRUE. PEACE , LOVE AND RATTLESNAKE JUICE.
Saturday, September 5th 2009 - 09:25:35 PM
My name is, Paul Callahan My e-mail is, yummytoejam@juno.com This is what I have to say: What do you think of the kooks, who are called BIRTHERS? They think Obama is NOT an American.
Sunday, August 23rd 2009 - 09:08:31 AM
My name is, Carol My e-mail is, carol@earthlink.net I have a page at, http://www.galeon.com/jllamoga/cymbalta/cymbalta-dose.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://samadi.hostse.com/lipitor/cheap-pills.html">cheap pills</a> is about cheap pills... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://menuz.20m.com/lasix/heart-attack.html">heart attack</a> is about heart attack... I enjoyed your site very much, I just finished mine yesterday, Please check our site too!
Friday, August 21st 2009 - 10:44:55 PM
My name is, jesus is jewish My e-mail is, jewishgays@christian haters.com I have a page at, http://www.jewishworld.com This is what I have to say: all of you back to the 50s hitler loving fag haters will burn in hell god love everyone and if you ever hit my kid i whould kick you i rather have a slave and kill jews and fag ass you should be put in jail for child abuse you baterd you the christains killed jesus on the cross hes the king of jews not christains a man made religion
Thursday, August 13th 2009 - 06:05:28 AM
My name is, Nathan My e-mail is, nathan@cox.net I have a page at, http://bottu.xaper.com/zidovudine/zidovudine-pregnancy.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://calaza.jislaaik.com/norvasc/norvasc-5.html">norvasc 5</a> is about norvasc 5... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://edronax.szm.com/xenical/xenical-side-effects.html">xenical side effects</a> is about xenical side effects... Looks like a beautiful facility, I know how rough it can be starting from scratch. Look here our site I have done it twice in my life and if I ever do it again it will be for my own use only, not the publics, but for now it helps to pay the bills.
Wednesday, August 5th 2009 - 02:43:19 AM
My name is, nickademus My e-mail is, nick@hell.com This is what I have to say: Funny stuff, but a simple G O O G L E search exposes your real agenda
Friday, July 31st 2009 - 11:56:34 PM
My name is, Tim My e-mail is, sealteam91@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: I cant believe the things my eyes have been forced to read on this blasphemous web site!
"About Us (God's Favorite Church):"
You think god favors YOU because you have a PGA course and a few spas and universities? Over his REAL children?!
Leviticus 26:19
I will break down your stubborn pride and make the sky above you like iron and the ground beneath you like bronze.
"A Godly Warning:"
To say that you 'CONDEMN' anyone who doesnt follow the same christian beliefs as you?
Leviticus 19:15
Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly.
Only god is the true Righteous Judge, not your heretical ministry!
You charge $300.00 fees for nor dressing like YOU think is proper! once agin who are YOU to judge! NO ONE!
"Please note - If you do not have the same beliefs as we do, you are going to burn in Hell forever. "
Are you kidding me!? Are you *explitive* Kidding me!? Ya know what.... im not even going to bother... a true christian would know that forgiveness and love gets more results than hate and hostility...and all you do is hate. hate the sin, not the sinner... a true christian would try to save those in risk of damnation but no you just condemn, shy away, and avoid the values, that CHIRST JESUS set down himself.
Lord have mercy on your souls, Heretics...
Wednesday, July 22nd 2009 - 02:37:03 PM
My name is, Chaosritter This is what I have to say: http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Jesus
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Christian
Where is your imaginary friend now?
Tuesday, July 21st 2009 - 02:04:56 AM
My name is, Paxmax My e-mail is, something@site.com This is what I have to say: Oh! I've been saved!!! Thank goodness!! I've been saved from a dull day! Thank you dears!
Tuesday, June 30th 2009 - 05:15:37 AM
My name is, beki šmeki My e-mail is, jassembabtist This is what I have to say: great side, i have found my way out from hell with its help... thank u so much!
Friday, June 26th 2009 - 10:19:35 AM
My name is, sissyboy This is what I have to say: i am a sissy age 10, with a pencil in mu ass, wearing panties and i love-so u should all die
Tuesday, June 9th 2009 - 10:03:40 PM
My name is, lexi This is what I have to say: What has been said about Wiccans here is completely disgusting and untrue. It made my heart ache.
The email I sent:
Hello,
I just wanted to say I was shocked when I saw the attacks on Wicca. That has to be the most disgusting, ignorant, and disrespectful thing I have EVER seen. I honestly expect more from followers of God -- aren't you supposed to kind creatures? Oh my, I guess not!
We're not devil worshipers. We don't harm animals or people. Anyone who does is NOT a true Wiccan in any sense, way, or form. You're going after the wrong group of people and throwing around COMPLETELY false accusations.
We don't worship the devil because we don't accept the concept or the devil, or any form of total evil. We don't harm animals because they are sacred to us. We don't harm people because we live by the rule "do what ye will, as long as it harms none." We also live by the rule that, whatever energy we cast out, whether it be negative or positive will come back to us three times stronger. Since we believe that, why would we dare send out negative energy? It would only damage us more than the one we tried to harm. And let me put it this way . . . if we really are all the things you say we are, we'd be more than glad to throw it in your faces. We wouldn't try to hid it.
We also believe that everyone's Path will come to them and we should let it be -- because it is what is right for them. We don't persecute, accuse, or disrespect followers of other religions.
I like your God. He is good and kind. But I do not like your people; they are not good to us, nor are they very kind to us.
We will not continue to be misunderstood and attacked by people that we try to be peaceful with. I guess I'll be seeing you in hell, since I'm "apparently" going there for not following you. You'll be there because you can't treat other the way you would like to be treated -- listen to Jesus and follow his example of kindness, instead of listening to your ego and want for power.
I'm really sorry I had to send this. I try my best to get along with you people, to respect you. But you're being ungrateful of our attempts.
Please watch this video: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1302161519
It will be greatly appreciated if you at least watch the whole thing through. Thank you.
Sunday, May 31st 2009 - 03:37:08 PM
My name is, Lady Alilliaan Corvuscanis Ravenpaw My e-mail is, amayakatana@aol.com This is what I have to say: I am a PROUD wiccan and I shall stand TALL. I raise my head and bare my throat to ALL who wish me dead and damned
Friday, May 8th 2009 - 12:39:17 AM
My name is, Seawitch My e-mail is, seawitchartist@gmail.com I have a page at, http://www.seawitchartist.com This is what I have to say: I love the grim humour, will make Pope Rat-slinger gag on his coffee....
Monday, April 20th 2009 - 06:44:21 PM
My name is, Marissa My e-mail is, motorrida@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: Sissy Boy Caught Playing With Dolls? What kind of a fucked up article is this?
Friday, April 17th 2009 - 04:17:15 AM
My name is, the perfect person. My e-mail is, FUCK YOU ALL! This is what I have to say: THIS SITE IS DISGUSTING! GOD DOES NOT EXIST! AND HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT A MALE IS NOT ALOUD TO BE A ''SISSY'' YOU ARE ALL REALLY SAD PEOPLE! I THINK YOU SHOULD ALL HAVE THE SHIT BEATEN OUT OF YOU, HAVE YOU SPAT ON, TRIPED, TAUNTED, ETC! YOUR ALL A LOAD OF SHIT ON MY SHOE YOU BIBLE BASHERS!
Friday, April 10th 2009 - 04:45:41 PM
My name is, Mira My e-mail is, miralamb@att.net This is what I have to say: Going along with the joke here, you suck.
But seriously, you're funny.
Sunday, March 1st 2009 - 11:42:40 AM
My name is, desert chick My e-mail is, nun_ya_bussiness@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: Doing research for A Eng 001A course on Free Speach... It's this group a Joke? No Really... If they are, I think the Mormon Fundamentalists have nothing to worry about. These people are Wacko! I enjoyed readying this trash. Was better than any Porn mag commentary I have read in my reasearch to far. Thanks for the laugh... I guess this is the First Ammendment at work! Enjoy!
Monday, January 26th 2009 - 02:02:45 PM
My name is, Sarla Dicken My e-mail is, mormonwoman@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: this sight is very interesting........
Monday, November 24th 2008 - 08:43:46 PM
My name is, Krusher My e-mail is, the_music_scene@yahoo.com I have a page at, http://www.blogtalkradio.com/themusicscene This is what I have to say: You people have to be the looniest mother fuckers I've ever heard!! I've heard some goofy ass preachers in my day, but you take the cake Pastor Looney Fred!! I hope the native americans that protest during Thanksgiving time actually get in and stuff a turkey leg up your ass!! Then again you may like it!! Sick ideas from a twisted community!! Feel like I'm wrong?? Come by the website, get the phone number for my show and give us a call!! We would love to hear from you!!
Friday, October 17th 2008 - 11:35:48 PM
My name is, Zach Stroup My e-mail is, zackgstroup@yahoo.com I have a page at, http://N/A This is what I have to say: I think you're a comedic genius. This was, and will be a site that I will visit again and again, in order to seek out more laughter. For all you vaginally deprived fucktards out there, who are so pent up, and ready to set someone on fire for making a mockery of organized religion; allowing your emotions overload your logical thought proves to me how stupid and irrational this country has become. Please stop populating the earth, and remember... God hates liberals and pussies...
GOD BLESS THE LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH!!!
VOTE MCCAIN IT'S YOUR CHRISTIAN DUTY !!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, October 11th 2008 - 11:18:07 PM
My name is, IFUCKEDJESUSINTHENECK My e-mail is, NUNYOBIDNESS I have a page at, http://GOFUCKYOSELF.COM This is what I have to say: jesus is a bitch. mary is a hoe. god is my bitch, he bows down to me and begs that i fuck him in the ass w a knife! the only thing the christian religion is good for is keeping me entertained. if jesus came back to life id crucify him and bathe in his blood. i fuck myself w the crucifix and burn down christian churches. god is nothing but a lie, u r all feeble minded for believing in something that isnt true. fuck ur god and fuck ur religion
Friday, August 15th 2008 - 03:30:52 AM
My name is, LOL My e-mail is, yourmum@LAWLZ.com I have a page at, http://stupidgulliblefucks.com This is what I have to say: Haha, honestly people, anyone who ACTUALLY takes this seriously has got to be one DUMB SHIT.
Saturday, July 26th 2008 - 07:00:03 PM
My name is, Felix Losco My e-mail is, falkanat1@aol.com This is what I have to say: What a great site! Outstanding!!!!!
Saturday, June 7th 2008 - 10:56:27 AM
My name is, Elizabeth My e-mail is, elizabeth@yahoo.com.br I have a page at, http://zinon.dzaba.com/xalatan/xalatan-eye-drop.html This is what I have to say: You have a very good webpage here, so best greetings to you and all your visitors. Admin of * <a rel="dofollow" href="http://plina.as.ro/zithromax/vs-zithromax-zmax.html" title="vs zithromax zmax">vs zithromax zmax</a> ... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://falana.ifrance.com/paxil/paxil-result.html" title="paxil result">paxil result</a> ... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://amedes.uw.hu/xanax/g3722-xanax.html" title="g3722 xanax">g3722 xanax</a> ...
Thursday, May 15th 2008 - 05:00:09 PM
My name is, none of your bussiness My e-mail is, none of your bussiness I have a page at, http://you have to be kidding This is what I have to say: what a bunch of wankers!!!!Good Joke though!!!!You idiots need to be reported!!!!!Sicko's..
Thursday, May 1st 2008 - 09:03:04 PM
My name is, not saying My e-mail is, not saying This is what I have to say: WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF WEBSITE IS THIS?????
Sunday, March 23rd 2008 - 08:46:55 AM
My name is, The Real Jesus My e-mail is, jesus@heaven.com This is what I have to say: Im the real BLACK Jesus and you guys are doing it wrong
Friday, March 7th 2008 - 10:29:37 AM
My name is, David Carr My e-mail is, david_carr_3i@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: Nice, I was confused for a little bit until it got to the marajuana overdose, and the laughter hit me. Well done, I was ready to use this as a source for my paper too, but i'll have to find another hell house website.
Wednesday, February 13th 2008 - 11:29:58 PM
My name is, Society-X My e-mail is, www.phamorzane@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: We have reported your "sissy boy" article to the police to place you under observation for child abuse. We will also be meeting with members of the child protective services.
Thank you.
Friday, February 8th 2008 - 06:43:36 AM
My name is, Fuck Off My e-mail is, ihateuall.@hotmail.com I have a page at, http://dontpushyourshitonme.com This is what I have to say: I was reading some of this shit on this site, and fucking seriously, you are everything that is wrong with religion. You have blown everything out of proportion, and are the antichrist to what you preach. I may be wierd, but you guys are fucked up. You need to fucking die, and I hate you all. You can not save anyone who does not believe. What makes you different then the mother fuckers that conducted 9/11. NOTHING!!! I have gone there, and fought them for the so called GOD you fucking believe in. There is no difference between your narrow ass minds and the narrow ass minded blind fucking Muslims.There is no such thing as seperation of Church and State today either. I hope you all fucking WAKE THE FUCK UP. People are always going to be people and your religion and beliefs are not valid today. They will DIE just like you. Granted I support and dfend everyones right to practice what they beleive in. I am not a Satinist, I am not an Athiest. I believe in the fallen. How can you call your self Christian when you defy a little boy who does not know any better, And why do your priests fuck little boys? HONESTLY, CAN YOU FUCKING EXPLAIN THAT TO ME. FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU< DO NOT PUSH YOUR SHIT ON THE WORLD> YOU ARE THE REASON WARS START. FUCK OFF!!!
Friday, February 1st 2008 - 06:28:29 PM
My name is, Stephanie My e-mail is, stk39695@loki.stockton.edu This is what I have to say: Don't worry guys, it's a joke. Read the wikipedia article. It is a parody on fundamentalist christian doctrines. A very funny one.
Chris Harper, you made my day :)
Friday, February 1st 2008 - 03:00:51 PM
My name is, spencer coughlin AKA an evil catholic My e-mail is, spencerc57201@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: you fags think you are so cool calling yourselves godly you say you are followers of the bible and all other christians are evil like catholics and lutherans you dont even know the bible well...you say that you are godly when you insult and bash people and you support sex outside of marriage you fags are fucking retarded.
Tuesday, January 29th 2008 - 07:26:46 AM
My name is, Lolwut My e-mail is, ???? This is what I have to say: This has to be a troll. It has to. If it's a troll, EPIC WIN. If it's not... I don't even want to think about it.
Thursday, January 24th 2008 - 11:12:17 PM
My name is, None of Your Damn Business My e-mail is, None of Your Damn Business I have a page at, http://Don't, Have One.com This is what I have to say: I hope this site was fake... It sure a hell is funny if it is! I am a Christian/Agnostic...but honestly the bible does say such things, it devalues women, promotes concubines, and slavery (at least the Old Testament does)I think that no religion has all the answers...but rather each religion/philsophy has a little bit of the truth in it... just be true to who you are and what you believe and become on overall good person doing what you see fit... whether Christian, Jewish or of any other sect
Wednesday, November 28th 2007 - 04:43:17 PM
My name is, ellen My e-mail is, ellen@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: i just looked this church website on wikipedia. take a look for yourselves.
Monday, November 26th 2007 - 10:23:22 AM
My name is, Christ Lover My e-mail is, hbrandt@comcast.net This is what I have to say: Is this what Christ would do? What happened to love your neighbor as yourself?
Sunday, November 18th 2007 - 11:04:55 PM
My name is, Patrick This is what I have to say: I think it's sad that people think that you are making evuk stuff up about the bible. What bible are they reading from?
Saturday, November 10th 2007 - 05:00:39 PM
My name is, dr satan I have a page at, http://dkchan.org This is what I have to say: this is great lulz thx for making xD
Friday, November 9th 2007 - 04:25:32 AM
My name is, c skolik My e-mail is, czkolyk@hotmail.co.uk This is what I have to say: jush loved the site, a voice of reason in the drag of insanity
Friday, October 12th 2007 - 03:10:33 PM
My name is, Jesus My e-mail is, jesus_is_my_dobberman's_name_the_pidgeon_is_moses_but_jesus_is_watching_you_filthy_thief:))))0 I have a page at, http://wwwwwww.fuk u sukers.com This is what I have to say: hello. please read the following message very carefully. ARE YOU STUPID? you fuking idiot cult u fuking suking idiots talk about sex and masturbation to 10-yo children you ask people to give theyr children to u for 30 years just coz they were born on the 06 06 06.. omg.. the war in middle east.. kill jews..catholics..omg you are a bunch of FUKER and YOU will be the first people to get to heave.. to be PUNISHED! goodbye fukers go suk ur hairy small dicks
Friday, August 24th 2007 - 01:51:33 AM
My name is, HFWO My e-mail is, sandsetter2@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: I would like to say that maybe this shit is real because if you google search pastor deacon fred there is a website called religous freaks or w/e and you can hear a video clip of his speech. Now either the speech was fake and shit or these fuckers are really fucked up. I am a atheist but if i was a catholic or whatever i wouldnt be offended because they will be burning in hell not me. I would also like to say does it really fucking matter what religion we just as long as we live as good people. Now im not trying to offend christians when i say this but do u really think just praying to god will do anything i believe that instead of putting all your hopes on god and go and live a good life and be a happy person.
P.S. HIPPIES CONCERTS DONT SOLVE ANYTHING IF YOU JUST SING MAKE A MESSAGE AND DO IT LIKE I DONT KNOW FUCKING PROTEST OR SOME OTHER SHIT
Sunday, July 22nd 2007 - 12:15:03 AM
My name is, Will My e-mail is, nobody@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: This website is hilarious. What's even funnier is all of the angry e-mails from people who don't realize that it is a parody. Good job.
Sunday, July 15th 2007 - 10:42:05 PM
My name is, Kenny This is what I have to say: LOVE IT, Thanx for the laugh, and for those that cant laugh need to take a serious look at church history, face it folks the majority of Christians havent been/werent/arent christians. To the Radical Right, this site is how the world truly views you......
Thursday, July 12th 2007 - 01:37:15 PM
My name is, ? This is what I have to say: is this page for real? or is it just a parody of baptism. if you are really this ignorant...i am amazed.
Wednesday, July 4th 2007 - 08:56:21 AM
My name is, Jesus Masturbators My e-mail is, lol@lol.com This is what I have to say: Hi there, God bless you!!! This site changed my life! Before your site I used to think about my girlfriend when masturbating, and now all I can think about is my sweet and beautiful saviour Jebus. Praise Jebus! When I told my friend about this site he asked me to lead him to the Lord. We regularly go into my prayer closet and think about Jebus together while masturbating. I have now left my girlfriend who is surely a heathen slut and now spend all my time with my friend Randy and we worship our divine Lord together... staring at his perfect chest on the crusifix in my prayer closet. Praise the Lord! Also we go wiccan hunts and tie them to a crusifix in the back yard and sing hymns and pray for them till they pass out of hunger and dehydration! They are all saved now!!!
Praise Be and Glory to God... and down with that fucker Allah.
Monday, July 2nd 2007 - 03:41:18 PM
My name is, a moral scientist My e-mail is, hunt_mat@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: I consider myself a moral person and I am a trained scientist. I read what happens in your "Hell House" and I have to admit that this is without question the most vile, sick and depraved thing I have EVER seen in my life. Seeing this I can see that christianity is the cause of many of the worlds problems. I read a quote from the physicist Steven Weinberg, "Without religion good men will do good things and evil men will do evil things but for good men to do evil things takes religion."
You may or may not be "good" men, but you are doing evil things. I implore you as a moral person, stop this now.
Tuesday, May 22nd 2007 - 06:11:21 PM
My name is, Frank This is what I have to say: It's hilarious to see all these whining little nematodes, bleeting on about Landover Baptist being a "sick parody", and that "real christians" don't believe/preach such nonsense. They've obviously never read the christian websites that seriously preach the same things that Landover so expertly lampoons.
Tuesday, May 22nd 2007 - 06:09:09 PM
My name is, Frank This is what I have to say: It's hilarious to see all these whining little nematodes, bleeting on about Landover Baptist being a "sick parody", and that "real christians" don't believe/preach such nonsense. They've obviously never read the christian websites that seriously preach the same things that Landover so expertly lampoons.
Tuesday, May 15th 2007 - 09:15:08 PM
My name is, VLW This is what I have to say: Your website is DISGUSTING! It is not Christian and it is promoting evil, even if it's meant to be "funny." It's not. There are many things I read on it that have to do with God doing bad things according to His will. Christianity believes that God is Love, so He is only Good. We have free will. Christianity, Jesus, does not use the rules in the Old Testament, His ways are the New Testament. Your website is a horrid joke. You have no concept of the Bible--what the teachings are, what is literal, historical, and/or symbolic. Please educate yourself.
Saturday, May 12th 2007 - 11:37:37 AM
My name is, Adam Lapthorn My e-mail is, Adamlapthorn@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: I think you are all sick, it is distrubibng reading some of these articals!
Saturday, May 5th 2007 - 06:14:29 PM
My name is, Rev. Morgana RedSkye Blsack I have a page at, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Goddess_Gods This is what I have to say: This site is the biggest foulest bucket of LIES I have ever seen, and you should be ashamed to pass judgement on that which you are clearly ignorant on.
Monday, April 16th 2007 - 12:58:53 PM
My name is, Homosexual Heretic My e-mail is, lucas_is_1234@hotmail.com.cn I have a page at, http://www.google.com.cn This is what I have to say: I have homo-erotic dreams involving Jesus and my friend, Tom.
Monday, April 2nd 2007 - 04:42:36 PM
My name is, Jay This is what I have to say: This is a joke right? You should really have a disclaimer page somewhere stating that this is all false, so people don't get all pissy when they read some of this stuff.
Thursday, March 22nd 2007 - 10:19:47 AM
My name is, Kiera My e-mail is, hidden_dreams9@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: I just wanted to comment on how bias and unholy your site really is. I am very sad to see what this world has really come to. The proof is right here at the click of the mouse. I will not put you down, or think that there is no hope for you, but just remember that it is better to be like a pharisee and true, then to be a so called christian and false.
Blessings
Wednesday, March 21st 2007 - 11:05:24 AM
My name is, Erick Faust This is what I have to say: wonderfull, completely hilarious
Wednesday, January 17th 2007 - 03:23:09 PM
My name is, Sister Karen- And I Must Save Your Soul My e-mail is, unitystudios@hotmail.com I have a page at, http://I am not finished with it Yet! This is what I have to say: Lord, How Long Must This Go ON?! I can't understand, although it states in both Thessalonians 2:3 and in every bible I have ever read, that, in fact, at least, and in Psalms (And that was written by King David - who was a Harp instrumentalist- of the Old Testament) that "Make a Joful Noise unto the Lord..."
where you see infidels and unbelievers of the Word of God, make no mistake about it: Anyone who understands their own backyard (or any blade of grass) and when the sun shines, it is a miracle. Especially in the time we live in And the date is January 17th or 118th depending on where you live on the planet Earth. Glory to God in the Highest. Praise! Praise Praise. Nuff said.
So, let me come at you this way, if you e-mail ME. Beware of The Hissing Cat!
Wednesday, January 17th 2007 - 03:12:46 PM
My name is, Sister Karen - The Most Reverend The Fourth I have a page at, http://trudys.com This is what I have to say: Lord, How Long Must This Go ON?!
Saturday, December 30th 2006 - 04:46:23 PM
My name is, Enthralled This is what I have to say: I find it absolutely appalling, and although there is every chance that this website and all of its contents are fake, do we know that? People like this exist in real life, folks, and their goal is to hate and pillage.
Wednesday, December 13th 2006 - 07:05:36 PM
My name is, Ann Moore My e-mail is, a-moore@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: God taught us to love our neighbors as we want to be loved. You are a disgrace. talk about burning in hell, I would be concerned for your own soul.
Sunday, December 10th 2006 - 04:18:47 AM
My name is, Gina This is what I have to say: lmfao
Thursday, December 7th 2006 - 02:38:48 PM
My name is, Raoul Lowenbrau My e-mail is, bogusemail@bogusemail.com This is what I have to say: I can't believe how many people fall for this website. Don't you all know it's a joke????
PS - The scooby doo article was priceless.
Thursday, December 7th 2006 - 02:22:33 PM
My name is, Monk My e-mail is, www.blah@blah.blah This is what I have to say: Fuck You And Your God. You People are so Fucking Blind!
Saturday, December 2nd 2006 - 10:55:49 PM
My name is, M. A. Christophson My e-mail is, Marroyoatfinali@yahoo.fr This is what I have to say: Are you people for real? or is this a prank website? Like one of those "funny ones" out there on the World Wide Web, twisting The Word of My Lord and Only Savior, Jesus Christ.
Some of the text you have on your website has NOTHING to do with being a True Christian, which is what makes me doubt if you are a joke or your own "real thing"
If you are "real", you folks are scary, I am glad I am not where you are. But, still I am not the one to judge you.
I hope God All-Mighty will shed some light on the right path so you can shift and follow along.
Thursday, November 30th 2006 - 10:28:31 PM
My name is, Bob My e-mail is, bob@bob.com This is what I have to say: I get a good laugh at the people who talk about Jesus' love. Apparently, they haven't read the entire Bible.
Wednesday, November 29th 2006 - 07:42:16 PM
My name is, Asa Allen My e-mail is, asallen14@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: You people are the hand of the devil. Your ignorance is apauling. Your beliefs are assbackwards and frankly quite ridiculous, almost hilarious. Are you so blind as not to see that your un-educated followers would place your particular organization into cult status? Honestly thoung your whole following deserves a severe beating for 1. accepting your doctrines so willingly 2. for placing their faith in preachers who have to inspect people underwear for some unknown reason. If you ask my it sounds like you folks are sick twisted souls who know not the true meaning of the lords words.
Tuesday, October 31st 2006 - 06:15:43 AM
My name is, Lucille Lee My e-mail is, Lucille.Lee@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: This is one fucked up site and it should burn just like the people that made it. Thank you for your bullshit insight of things.
Saturday, October 28th 2006 - 03:48:45 PM
My name is, Sarah This is what I have to say: You people are fucking crazy and out of your minds. you are all horrible people. and if there is a god you are going to hell. saying god hates homosexuals is such an uneducated thing to say. if god made everyone on this earth he made the homosexuals. and he loves everyone on the earthe who hasent sinned or who has and has asked for forgiveness. god made the homosexuals homosexual. they did not choose it.
go get an education and a soul.
Tuesday, October 24th 2006 - 07:16:01 PM
My name is, Celina My e-mail is, CelinaO@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: Everyone knows that baptists are the Devil's excrement. Twelve yaers of Catholic school taught me that. Abortions should be mandatory for every backseat-conceived bastard baptist. I'd rather have an AIDS-afflicted Muslim anally rape me than eat a gourmet meal with a fuckin' baptist.
Monday, October 16th 2006 - 07:25:37 PM
My name is, FAITH My e-mail is, SUMMERFUNGIRLS@AOL.COM This is what I have to say: MY CHILDREN AND I LOVE THE LORD, HOWEVER YOUR SITE AND THE PEOPLE WHO THINK LIKE YOU IS THE REASON PEOPLE TURN FROM GOD. YOU SPEW HATE AND USE THE BIBLE FOR YOUR OWN SICK AGENDA.
NOTHING IS WRONG WITH THE TRUTH, BUT YOU TWIST IT AND MAKE UP LIES.
GOD LOVES EVERYONE NO MATTER WHAT, EVEN IF THEY DON'T EXCEPT HIM.
HE EVEN LOVES THE SICK PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO PUT UP THIS SINFULL SITE. ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE.
US AS HUMANS~~~PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN HOME OF GLASS SHOULD NOT THROW STONES.
THIS SITE IS FULL OF GLASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, October 15th 2006 - 06:09:06 AM
My name is, LeXa My e-mail is, gu@email.org I have a page at, http://twin-yang-ying.blogspot.com/ This is what I have to say: Wow! <a href="http://dutty-wine.gainings.biz">Dutty wine</a>
Saturday, October 14th 2006 - 06:17:41 AM
My name is, M Grzesiek This is what I have to say: Is it just me or is everyone just about sick of Christians who are no better than the sinners in this world. After reading your website, I would NEVER EVER attend a church so far off based from what the bible teaches. Your depiction of a Jewish doctor is your Hell House has me the utmost disturbed. The Lord said that he would bless those who bless the Jews and curse those who curse them. I would be very careful in your judgement upon these people seeing that they are Gods chosen. I was also offended by the comment of children being turned by "negro" music. Are you that ignorant that you don't realize that it isn't just "negro" music but that all secular music has the same affect of impressionable youth as rap. Come on, you can be that dumb. I'm wondering if you allow African-Americans into your congregation? The faster you realize that Heaven will be a diverse city, the better off you'll be. Let me just close by saying that although God is a God of wrath, he is also a God of love. As christians we should be reaching out to the unsaved in love and not using scare tactics. If you look at the statistics most people who are "scared" into a relationship with Jesus usually end up losing their faith very quickly. Jesus is coming very soon and I would hate to see one soul lost because they didn't see the real Jesus, only the one used to "get their financial support to a church." Hopefully you prayed before opening this Hell House and let the Holy Spirit guide you in what you should be doing.
Tuesday, October 10th 2006 - 09:36:44 AM
My name is, Bradley McDonald My e-mail is, Sheandkev2006@aol.com I have a page at, http://www.myspace.com/brad_the_gay_one This is what I have to say: Glory! Glory glory hallaylluya. This is the most gloryful sight...yeah right.
Sunday, October 1st 2006 - 05:12:57 PM
My name is, Pervis T. Hoftebrig III My e-mail is, geriatricpotato@aol.com This is what I have to say: Excellent. Brilliant. Outstanding satire.
Wednesday, September 27th 2006 - 04:57:45 PM
My name is, Dudeeemadudbomb My e-mail is, Imhungry@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: What a disgusting site.
Saturday, September 23rd 2006 - 11:40:01 AM
My name is, sam My e-mail is, micslam@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: wow, your ministry is amazing
Wednesday, September 20th 2006 - 08:17:52 PM
My name is, Macy This is what I have to say: Jesus loves EVERYBODY even though they might not love him back.
Monday, September 4th 2006 - 12:37:52 AM
My name is, THE holier than thou, wtf is up with someone else with my name?! This is what I have to say: I go to this site religiously because the plants tells me to. The plants talk to me. they says "kill! Kill! more kill! Satan comes!" So I tell my grandkids and my niece that Jesus watches them go pee pee, and she then asks me when can she get laid. haha praise the lord for this site. I hereby banish Unsaved to hell!
Sunday, August 27th 2006 - 10:47:40 AM
My name is, Nanci. This is what I have to say: Hell House is disgusting.
You cannot scare someone into following religion.
It takes one very sick, sick person to think up an idea like that.
You are the ones that should be in Hell, not people who havent yet accepted Christ fully into their lives.
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Friday, August 25th 2006 - 06:44:01 PM
My name is, Twilight of the False Gods My e-mail is, twiNOSPAMlight@thefalsegods.com I have a page at, http://www.thefalsegods.com This is what I have to say:
Praise Satan! Come listen to my podcast instead, where I can corrupt you with dark ambient and EBM music, as listened to by perverts and satanists, and play sermons from Pastor Fred Phelps over music by Satan worshippers!
Friday, August 25th 2006 - 12:48:07 PM
My name is, Gerald Melvin Goldberg (1-516) 232-4229 My e-mail is, JooFr069XXX420@Yahoo.com This is what I have to say: Im a Jew! Does Jesus love me as well?
If not.
I've killed before, and i'll kill him again!
and by him, I mean Jebus.
Burn on a cross!
Just like da KKK.
Monday, August 21st 2006 - 04:26:41 AM
My name is, Alex My e-mail is, jerseyboy513@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: I gave myself to Jesus, but he never called me back...it sucks too cuz the fucker made me cum three times :D
Monday, August 14th 2006 - 03:38:45 PM
My name is, holier than that of this church My e-mail is, none of your concern I have a page at, http://www.the-exorcist.co.uk/articles/exorfce2.jpg This is what I have to say: After just seeing the <i>unsaved are not welcome</i> I fell off my chair and started ROFLing. I clicked on a link to the <b>Pokemon? Poke yourself, Satan!</b> article, and read what would change my life...
I told my mom that this church tells me that I'm a Satanist, and she was furious and scolded me for saying such nonsense. Now I'm a Satanist because I don't want to be "on the same side" as this church who THINKS that they are holier than thou. I do not WORSHIP Satan, I merely look up to him. As a Satanist, I simply put my own desires as the most importance of my life. On April 16th 2006, I have burnt my first Bible, and since I have been disowned and ostracized from my family for reading things on this site to determine that I'm not a real Christian but a Soldier of Satan, I'm now free to blame my problems on this website.
What Started as a simple joke to my mom got serious, and now I'm: a Democrat, support Stem Cell Research & Same Sex Marriage, distribute stolen Harry Potter books to new readers, collect tarot cards & ouija boards, practise my psychic abilities & tell people to (Call Me Now, Child!), and take part in other <i>"non-Christian"</i> activities like Support Jews, and killing babies(the unborn fetuses for stem cell research)
AND ALL THANKS TO READING THIS SITE. If I was still Christian, I would say "PRAISE THE LAWD" right now
Thursday, August 10th 2006 - 10:22:56 AM
My name is, cryms0n This is what I have to say: Pokemon are the devil? LMAO
you guys seriously need to hurry up with the kool-aid suicide trick, you are brainwashed and pathetic
Friday, July 21st 2006 - 12:32:38 PM
My name is, charles My e-mail is, charles-walker2@hotmail.com I have a page at, http://groups.msn.com/occultandparanormal/_whatsnew.msnw This is what I have to say: If this site is for real - wow - I am glad I am not part of your organisation or hold your beliefs.
Friday, July 21st 2006 - 11:42:38 AM
My name is, Nick My e-mail is, none I have a page at, http://none This is what I have to say: "My name is, Joey Utley
My e-mail is, Joeyutley@hotmail.com
This is what I have to say: This site is mostlikely fake, and i pray it is, but to thoose of you who are thinking we christians are idiots for being insulted by this.
This site goes agianst everything we represent, and even though most realize that its fake, the some people that do belive this site could be permantly turned away from Christ forever, i don't expect non-christians to understand that, but it is verrryyy insulting to us non-christians.
I pray somehow that this site is shutdown, it has no reason to exist."
That's why it's funny dolt. :P
Friday, July 21st 2006 - 11:38:12 AM
My name is, Nick My e-mail is, none I have a page at, http://none This is what I have to say: I love this site. Whenever Christians make me angry, I always come here and have a nice laugh. Keep it up guys. One day I might just buy one of those Jesus thongs. :P
Thursday, July 20th 2006 - 04:14:53 PM
My name is, jake This is what I have to say: well theres my thoughts lol o yeah funny sight by the way you deserve a medel
Thursday, July 20th 2006 - 04:11:00 PM
My name is, jake This is what I have to say: ive allways wonderd why people believe in god then i realised that it is because you are all sad and need to justify your existence by believe in some "allmighty power" i have 1 word to disporve your god therory in teh words of the great comedian bill hicks dinosaurs
religion causes most of the wars in history because they all say mines better than yours which is funny basicly all go and die prefrably
Tuesday, July 18th 2006 - 04:30:52 PM
My name is, Mandie This is what I have to say: id just like to let you know that pokemon is not ppocket demons its poket monsters and by batteling your pokemon you learn the impotence of team work its kind of like saying that by everyone working together and useing there own unique abilitys everyone can be happy and safe and can over come any evil in there lifes. just thought u should know
p.s. sorry about the spelling errors
Friday, July 14th 2006 - 04:12:57 PM
My name is, Jesus Mama This is what I have to say: I have a problem that I hope you all can help me with. I think a coworker of mine has demons in her colon. Whenever I come within a 6 foot proximity of her cubicle, I'm overwhelmed by the smell of SULPHUR (AKA, Satan's little calling card). I've tried to discreetly let her know what's going on (by playing Father Decon Fred's sermon at full blast on my computer, leaving copies of the sermon on her keyboard, and I once even logged on to her computer and pulled up the page with the sermon and bookmarked it), but still the smell of brimstone eminates ominously from her.
Is there anything more drastic that I can do? Is there any way I could give her a Jesus enema without her knowing it? Do you sell them? Also, is it possible that the demons are escaping and running around the office wreaking havoc on our souls? Can they touch me if I'm saved?
Also, the other day I smelled sulphur after my (saved) husband left the bathroom having done nature's necessity. Is it possible that some demons hijacked their way into my home through me and infected my husband?
HELP!!!
Friday, July 14th 2006 - 11:13:41 AM
My name is, hannah bannana hamick! This is what I have to say: At first i thought it was real but then i went to the kids sight and the hole how to tell gay boys and does god watch me go poopy kinda told me!!!!!! >>>>>>>>>>>or mabe it is a real realigon > the one i belong to hehhehehehhehehhehehehe
we warshope the bannana hamicks!!
Thursday, July 13th 2006 - 09:45:58 PM
My name is, Susy My e-mail is, purrrkat@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: Hey--when are you going to come up with more audio files? I want to blast them out of huge speakers as I drive down "church lane" (a street in my town that has literally about 6 different Christian churches on it) at high noon this Sunday!
Great work here!
Thursday, July 13th 2006 - 07:23:36 PM
My name is, Peter Pan is not my man This is what I have to say: Is this site making fun of Baptists?
Thursday, July 13th 2006 - 07:20:55 PM
My name is, Jesus is Love This is what I have to say: Hello.
I am a Christian who loves Jesus.
I am going through your site. I am not offended. I find some stuff actually humorous.
It is sad that so many Christians out there threaten people and act well...like jerks.
I know Jesus isn't that way. I will do what I can not to be that way also.
I hope you have a good night or day or whatever it is where you are.
I think that some of the things are on their out of not just humor but well the way some Christians act.
It is hard to believe Jesus is loving, kind, patient, and wants people to be saved if all the lost ever hear is stuff like.
"BURN IN HELL WICKED SCUMS!"
"JESUS HATES YOU! GAY FAG!"
"THE LORD SAYS TO ME, DIE SCUMS OF THE DEVIL!"
"YOU ARE CHILDREN OF SATAN!"
and we must not forget...
"F YOU IN THE NAME OF THE LORD!"
Man if I heard that stuff and wasnt a Christian, I wouldnt want to know this Jesus. I be thinking....What the? Why would I want to know someone whose followers act like that?
Actually Jesus isn't like any of that baloney. He is loving and kind and He does want everyone to be saved.
However, no Christian can force people to be saved. It won't happen.
Some Churches are so stuck up they won't include anyone that's not holy enough for them. Jesus hung out with the worst of the world and He still wants to.
Pharisee Christians make Jesus sick.
Christ is forgiving
Two different Christs are being shown.
One is the EVIL NAUGHTY CHRIST: He is the One who wants to fry everyone's buns in the Lake of Fire while He laughs His Head off. Ba ha ha ha ha!
The other is the LOVING FORGIVING CHRIST: He is the One who wants people to be saved and not perish.
Perhaps this site was made because you came across Christians who well...drove you up the wall.
Maybe they said...
"YOU ARE GOING TO HELL YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP!"
or
"THE LORD IS MAD AT YOU! HE HATES YOU!"
or
"REPENT NOW SCUM!"
etc.
Well thing though is that Jesus is loving and would never talk that way. Jesus does not see anyone as a piece of crap. He wants none to go to Hell. He is patient and loving and slow to anger. He hates none.
Yes all are to repent. That is turn from sin and turn to doing right.
However, no one will repent if they are called scums, evil fiends, children of the devil, and hear that God hates them wicked scums, etc.
Better luck showing them the love of Christ than the scum version.
The Love version: Jesus loves you. No matter what you say or think or do. No matter how many times you say I hate Jesus or blaspheme Him, He STILL loves you. He is waiting with open arms and will taken the burdens and pain away. He wants to save your life.
The Scum version: Jesus hates your guts. He wants you to go to Hell. Go ahead and curse Him scum bag and He will fry your beep beep beep! SINNER SCUM!
Jesus is not like the Scum version at all.
Too many Christians give Jesus a bad rap.
Far as I'm concerned the lost are INNOCENT.
What do I mean?
Well, the lost are innocent because how can they believe Jesus is loving and patient and wants to save them and is forgiving if all they hear are CONDEMNATION, HATRED, and so forth?
I mean really would any of us want to come to Jesus if all we heard were....
"THE LORD HATES YOU!"
"YOU GAY FAG! YOU SHALL BURN IN THE FIRES OF HELL!"
"YOU FING IDIOT! THOU SUCKEST! JESUS CURSE THEE!"
"IF YOU DON'T TITHE, YOU WILL GO TO HELL!"
"TBN NEEDS YOUR MONEY! GIVE OR DIE SINNER SCUM!"
"REPENT OR BURN WICKED SINNER!"
and of course....
"IF YOU DONT ASK JESUS INTO YOUR LIFE, THEN YOU ARE A FAT MORONIC IDIOT!"
Man, I wouldnt.
So I mean if I put on my YOU ARE PICKING ON JESUS! glasses, then it would offend me.
However, I have on my TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE OTHER SIDE GLASSES. So I am not offended.
I rather feel compassion and mercy. Someone must of hurt you so deeply and that hurts me. I pray the Lord heals you of this pain.
So I am not angry. I am not going to say go to hell in Jesus Name or none of that.
No, I say God bless you and keep you and cause His face to shine upon You. May Jesus draw you near Him and show you what He is really like.
I can see where the man who kills the children and then goes to Heaven cause he repented or whatever. It seems like that is taught amongst Christians. That Christians can live like jerks and wicked scums and still go to Heaven. Actually that isnt true. Christians are to live holy and obedient to Jesus to go to Heaven. Hebrews 5:9.
Far as a man doing sins like that and repenting upon death and being saved. That all depends on his heart. If he meant it, yes. If he just said it, then no. God isnt some idiot.
It is hard to understand why a criminal would go to Heaven cause they sincerely repented and a good person died and perished only cause they didnt. Well, save is no one is good. In our book yes there are good and bad people. But reality is none of us is good. If we compare ourselves to God who is perfect and holy and sinless, then none of us fit the shirt.
There many things on this site that are false and not true of the Lord and I say the Lord forgive you and have mercy because Satan has taken hold.
On the outside now you might be laughing and thinking I am some type of a nutcase Christian.
But on the inside is a lost soul in the midst of the blackest darkness trapped by Satan crying for mercy, peace, love, and help.
Jesus will answer you and show you mercy and heal you and forgive you. He wont condemn you or say, "Buster you posted lies about Me! Go away!"
He wants you to come to Him and be saved. He LOVES YOU SO VERY MUCH and NOTHING can take that away. You can say F Jesus and Screw You God and Holy SH all you like, but Jesus STILL LOVES THE LIVING DAY LIGHTS OUT OF YOU.
You may mean this as a serious website, but Jesus still LOVES YOU.
Jesus loves you and no matter what you have done or said or thought, He will forgive you and give you peace and change your life for the better.
Far as Jesus and money goes.
Jesus was poor. He never told His disciples to whine and cry for money.
In fact in II Peter 2 3And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.
The Bible speaks against greedy preachers who use fancy words to get money from people to use for their own greedy gain.
You know the ones that say...
"THE LORD HAS TOLD ME! OH HALLELUJAH! OH GLORY! GIVE ME NOW OH HALLELUJAH! GLORY GLORY GLORY! GIVE ME NOW $5,000,000,000,000! AND I WILL BLESS YOU! YESA! YESA! HALLELUJAH!"
Actually the Lord didnt say that. The preacher is just greedy and cares about money more than the Lord.
or
"THE LORD JESUS SAYS IF YOU DO NOT GIVE ME $$$$$$$$$ NOW, THEN YOU WILL GO BALD AND WALK NAKED THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE PUT TO SHAME AND YOU WILL STARVE!"
or
"SEE THOSE LITTLE ONES? HOW THEY SUFFER? PLEASE, OH PLEASE, WON'T YOU GIVE JUST $1...Maybe $50....Maybe you can spare $5,000? OH FOR THE LITTLE ONES! OH THE STARVING CHILDREN! OH! OHHHHH!"
Actually what they mean is....I am a fat greedy hypocritical slob who hates Jesus and loves money and I dont give a peanut about children I only care about my fat greedy hiney.
Yes I am a Christian for those who are wondering.
Far as Psalm 137 the one about dashing children.
If you look at the context or the whole chapter, it is actually Jews talking.
The Jews were being taken captive to Babylon because of the Jew's constant sinning. The Babylon's were acting like jerks and treating their own horribly. The words of Happy shall he be that dasheth thy little ones against a stone is not God giving a command to do that. That is coming from hurting Jew(s) who have been hurt by the Babylonians. They are saying in other words, "I can't wait for the day when you get what you deserve! When you get paid back for what you did to us!"
No where does God command it. It is coming from the broken and hurting hearts of the Jewish.
Far as spanking children. The Bible actually does not teach spanking. The rod does not mean a literal rod that beats the living poo out of kids. It actually means to train kids in the way they should go...not beat them into the way they should go.
For instance, if little Tristan runs out in the road, some would take him and spank him and scream dont do that!
They will claim the Bible commands this.
Actually it does not.
What the Bible means is to do this instead...
Tristan runs out to get his ball. Mom or dad grabs his hand. They look him in the eye and tell him he could get hurt if he does that and then they tell him to ask an adult for help next time.
The rod refers to discipline or teaching.
Punishment is likened to beating the poo out of our kids to instill terror into them. They just learn how to be good when ma n pa is around otherwise they bad.
Discipline teaches them how to be good and shows them the way.
So spanking is NOT biblical.
Dancing is actually not wrong. David danced and so did Miriam and others
Although some dancing is kinda scary.
True Christians act like Jesus.
Sadly many claim to be but arent.
Jesus loves everyone. He suffered and died on the cross and shed His Blood and rose from the dead to save us. If He hated us, He never would have done that.
I dont want to see anyone burn in Hell and neither does the Lord.
Jesus wont sling little ones into Hell for celebrating halloween. It is not their fault they are innocent.
Far as Jesus saying hate family. That doesnt mean literally hate their guts. What He means is that we are to put Jesus first and be willing to go all the way with Him. That if our family says Dont do this for Jesus or dont you dare give your life to Jesus, that we do it anyway. We still are to love our families and stuff because if we provide not forour families we are WORSE than an infidel.
Seems like most of the site is making fun of Baptists.
Thursday, July 13th 2006 - 07:19:15 PM
My name is, Jesus is Love This is what I have to say: Jesus loves you all very much. No matter what you say or do or think. He loves you.
Wednesday, July 12th 2006 - 10:57:46 PM
My name is, PHOEBE My e-mail is, phubbie@hotmail.com.au This is what I have to say: hello
i thought this sight was for real for a whole two days
i was freaking out
i thought i must of stumbled across some crazy cults private web site
haha
but i did some research and reliesed it is just a joke
thank goodness
anyways
good work
very funny
Wednesday, July 5th 2006 - 09:59:23 PM
My name is, Mike This is what I have to say: found a site for you guys: http://evolution.berkeley.edu/
Wednesday, July 5th 2006 - 09:43:15 PM
My name is, Bill Cosby My e-mail is, pokie-man@ytmnd.com I have a page at, http://billcosbypokemon.ytmnd.com/ This is what I have to say: pokiemon?!? with the poke and the mon and the thing where the guy comes out of the thing, and he makes a fraaagh fr fra aagh aagh aagh!
Sunday, July 2nd 2006 - 11:09:08 PM
My name is, What is you problem? My e-mail is, Youneedtoquityourjobs@youhaveknowidea.stupid This is what I have to say: I am a Christian Male Living in the united states of america.. of Baptist beliefs as well and all i have to ask is WHAT BIBLE DID YOU READ FROM? Are you people racists? or something? then what the heck is wrong with you?! calling kids who love pokemon "little satanists" just because you dont understand everything about something doesnt mean it is evil or doesnt come from God. I mean come on, the late Pope John Paul II even stated Pokemon is a wonderful thing teaching kids important life skills such as building friends, having DREAMS, and most of all BELIEVING IN THEMSELVES. i dont know if you are a load of racists, or just get your life-giving water from a sewer. but whatever your issue is, PULL YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR REAR-ENDS! oh and in closing this might make you feel right at home:
WHITE POWER!!!!!! KKK
you people are sick.. i hope Christ does one day come back and save all the people youve fed this sack of mud you call a ministry to...
God rest their souls.. and as for yours beg for forgivness
Saturday, June 24th 2006 - 03:12:01 PM
My name is, Summer My e-mail is, pheonixflyer713@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: Whoever takes this site seriously needs to pull their bible out of their ass and get real.
Even if you are a Christian you have to agree that seeing something from all sides is the best way. Yes, this site is a crude way of doing that, but if we don't question things and seek out knowledge then what's the point in living?
God forbid you actually laugh at your imperfections because it's so much easier to take everything seriously, get mad, and shuffle through the bible for some finger pointing exercises.
Oh and don't forget to write a nasty letter because that's exactly what Jesus would do!
Tuesday, June 13th 2006 - 07:31:34 AM
My name is, Jake This is what I have to say: This is the best and funniest website on the internet. Well done you crazy demons.
Thursday, June 8th 2006 - 09:31:33 AM
My name is, Tiffany My e-mail is, tiffany_loves_soccer93@yahoo.com I have a page at, http://www.myspace.com/crazytiffy This is what I have to say: Honestly.. that thing about pokemon don't make since. One thing so a little kid summon a pokemon pillow. If you become Obesses with it,then it's bad. it's not worst the Yu-Gi-Oh. I am a Christian. Also you said unChristians SINNERS can't see anything wrong with it, then why did NOT my pasters didNOT say anything about it? I mean, yes I like pokemon. But you offended me and my family. Cause (since I live with my grandparent) saw NOTHING wrong as long you didn't believe it's real. We are Christians and yet you say christians can see what's wrong with them?
Well, you can email sometime if you what to say sumthing to what I said.
-Tiffany
Monday, June 5th 2006 - 05:05:32 PM
My name is, Thief of Dreams My e-mail is, crazyasspeople@ignorance.com I have a page at, http://www.buyaclue.com This is what I have to say: I find it hard to believe that anyone could truly be this ignorant and take the word of god and twist it in such a fashion as you have. Congrats, Hitler would have been proud...
Monday, June 5th 2006 - 12:07:05 PM
My name is, james huntley My e-mail is, softmints@beer.com I have a page at, http://www.softmints.net This is what I have to say: HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SATAN
i'm converted! good job guys, i'll be out on the streets tonight whacking the heathens with my iron cross!
HALLELUJAH!
Saturday, June 3rd 2006 - 06:40:46 PM
My name is, Bryan My e-mail is, stealthns@yahoo.com I have a page at, http://yourfuckingstupid.com This is what I have to say: ur fucking stpuid, whoever the owner of this site is, your the dumbest sum bitch ever..... funny how u consider yourself christian...
Wednesday, May 31st 2006 - 01:58:30 PM
My name is, TB My e-mail is, theblasphemy@gmail.com This is what I have to say: Holy sheeit!This parody site is amazing.Always.And I thought it was real until 3 years ago,it is THAT realistic.
Sunday, May 28th 2006 - 09:29:23 AM
My name is, Ordinary person My e-mail is, happy@knowingthey'reright.com This is what I have to say: It could be said that being funny, sarcastic or cynical about deeply personal things to people is not humour.
Probably most people just can’t believe someone would be so insulting, offensive, naive and self-righteous to pronounce their judgement on the world.
It’s maybe what they think but they’ve too much decency to sink to such a level. That is worthy of respect.
Sure - maybe it amuses them. But surely that’s not a form of humour. This surely is no art form anyway anymore that a murderer is an impressionist.
It’s seems to me more like wanting to be loved. Perhaps a cry for help.
It would appear to be a very childish type of funny actually. In such an effort to appear all-knowing our author shows themselves to be quite uneducated in the ways of life on many levels.
One could suppose that’s it very brave, outrageous and daring to mock and laugh at God, disabilities, minority groups, race, colour, creed, disasters - it’s really all the same isn’t it?
Then again in retrospect it’s no mean feat. It’s quite easy if you’re bitter and dying for that laugh and bit of acceptance enough to want to. It’s been done time and time again down through the centuries and actually it really takes no special talent whatsoever.
These sorts of people usually find themselves working alone in their field. No else is sad enough to waste their time competing with you.
They are too busy enjoying life and finding positive things to build their lives around.
It’s hard to believe anyone would spend their time working on anything like that.
It would be wonderful for them to find something good to do.
Not enraged, annoyed or even bothered.
Sunday, May 28th 2006 - 09:25:57 AM
My name is, Ordinary person My e-mail is, happy@knowingthey'reright.com This is what I have to say: It could be said that being funny, sarcastic or cynical about deeply personal things to people is not humour.
Probably most people just can’t believe someone would be so insulting, offensive, naive and self-righteous to pronounce their judgement on the world.
It’s maybe what they think but they’ve too much decency to sink to such a level. That is worthy of respect.
Sure - maybe it amuses them. But surely that’s not a form of humour. This surely is no art form anyway anymore that a murderer is an impressionist.
It’s seems to me more like wanting to be loved. Perhaps a cry for help.
It would appear to be a very childish type of funny actually. In such an effort to appear all-knowing our author shows themselves to be quite uneducated in the ways of life on many levels.
One could suppose that’s it very brave, outrageous and daring to mock and laugh at God, disabilities, minority groups, race, colour, creed, disasters - it’s really all the same isn’t it?
Then again in retrospect it’s no mean feat. It’s quite easy if you’re bitter and dying for that laugh and bit of acceptance enough to want to. It’s been done time and time again down through the centuries and actually it really takes no special talent whatsoever.
These sorts of people usually find themselves working alone in their field. No else is sad enough to waste their time competing with you.
They are too busy enjoying life and finding positive things to build their lives around.
It’s hard to believe anyone would spend their time working on anything like that.
It would be wonderful for them to find something good to do.
Not enraged, annoyed or even bothered.
Thursday, May 25th 2006 - 07:27:27 PM
My name is, Heathen This is what I have to say: Gaaaaa 666 praise the devil and I'm homo!
Thursday, May 25th 2006 - 09:21:41 AM
My name is, Chelsea Clark My e-mail is, camilajlc@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: I was determined to lose my virginity to my Yoga Spiritual Master. Now I wanna give it up to a good Christian boy. Tantra Yoga made my body really elastic and beautiful. All my muscles are so flexible, but my hymen is intact. Should I still practice Yoga? Is that dangerous for my hymen? WHo should break my holy hymen? Once I swallowed the sacred semen of my Yoga Master, but that doesn't mean I'm not a virgin, right? He penetrated my mouth, but not my vagina. I think A good Christian boy should marry me and take my real virtinity (I'm also an anal virgin.) God bless America!
Monday, May 15th 2006 - 01:00:31 PM
My name is, Why Should You Bad People want to know? My e-mail is, burning_owl@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: I absolutely HATE your views. First off, women are NOT souless. Black people are in NO WAY bad. You can't kill a wiccan- it's against the law, idiots! And Wiccans are NOT bad. There are NO "fake" religions! Oh, and, so you know, there are MANY Christian gays out there. My cousin, my uncle, and possibly, but I'm not sure simce I' haven't seen him in years, my biological uncle.
I wish I could shut down your website, but the first amemdndment right clearly state that we have the freedom of speech and press (and RELIGION too. Bet you didn't know that, huh?)
Friday, May 12th 2006 - 05:29:32 PM
My name is, Pepito My e-mail is, satanlord@vampire.com This is what I have to say: YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK!!! YOUR LIES AND FLITH WILL MAKE ANYBODY SICK!!!!!! Stupid idiots and you don't even fucking know that George Bush is the worst president in the whole fucking world. I HATE YOUR STUPID SHIT THAT YOU MAKE UP!!! Idiots you all are
Sunday, April 23rd 2006 - 08:01:37 PM
My name is, Jessie Krippner My e-mail is, go-scr3w-jesus@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: What, Lucy P? Don't you like Wilson? You wanna make us cry? Cause You're making us cry. :(
Sunday, April 23rd 2006 - 07:58:51 PM
My name is, Lucy P This is what I have to say: OH MY FUCKING GOD! NOT WILSON THE WOODCHIPPER!! WILSON THE WOODCHIPPER IS SATANS REINCARNATION, LOL
Sunday, April 23rd 2006 - 07:56:56 PM
My name is, Jessie krippner My e-mail is, go-scr3w-jesus@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: You Guys are MAD CHRISTIANS.:( And you know what we do to MAD CHRISTIANS? We feed them to Wilson the woodchipper. That's what we did to Betty Bowers. Oh, we showed her. We showed her good.;)
Sunday, April 23rd 2006 - 07:51:28 PM
My name is, Lucy P My e-mail is, screw-you-landover-baptist-church@hotmail.com I have a page at, http://monobrow.com This is what I have to say: this site sucks! i can't belive they're making people believe about this BULLSHIT! its crap! i laughed endlessly about "Pokemon: Poke yourslef Satan!" , and sent it to all my friends...and they apparntly laughed histericly.
If people think that if you don't have children, that you'd go to hell, is also complete bullshit! I mean what if someone is INFERTILE? and they look at this site? they would probably cry themselves to sleep, for the rest of they're infertile lives!
Sunday, April 23rd 2006 - 07:38:40 PM
My name is, Jessie Krippner My e-mail is, go-scr3w-jesus@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: GO FUCK YOURSELF! :)
Sunday, April 23rd 2006 - 01:30:31 PM
My name is, Rastafarian This is what I have to say: Christianity is about Love, not about killing pokémons.
Seriously, guys. Take a break, a slow looong breath. And look at yourselves.
People laugh at you. :P
Friday, April 21st 2006 - 02:18:43 PM
My name is, Reinhart Heindrick My e-mail is, acroosdoingcartwheels@actuallyaswaztika.org I have a page at, http://www.youallarefuckingmoronso,somycock.eu This is what I have to say: I enjoyed cheese while reading this website which brings me to my next conclusion, DAMN JEWS. SEIG HEIL!
Friday, April 21st 2006 - 02:14:46 PM
My name is, Little Stevie Wilson My e-mail is, fuckoff I have a page at, http://www.foobies.com This is what I have to say: I Love Boobies!
Friday, April 21st 2006 - 02:11:59 PM
My name is, Gods left foot My e-mail is, Do you think I am a Dumbass I have a page at, http://www.communism.com This is what I have to say: Love the site very funny Ass Clowns
Wednesday, April 19th 2006 - 03:24:54 PM
My name is, Rob Adcox This is what I have to say: Nuts!
Monday, April 17th 2006 - 05:32:59 AM
My name is, Minna My e-mail is, fajdf@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: This site is cazy. i dont like it! this is very crazy. are u out of your minds??
Sunday, April 16th 2006 - 07:22:43 PM
My name is, Kristofir This is what I have to say: I understand that this is clearly a parody. Maybe it's abit extreme, but easily a guilty pleasure.
Tuesday, April 11th 2006 - 08:58:57 AM
My name is, the Catholic/ Protestant Bound to Hell, Liberal This is what I have to say: So...is this actually like, an actual church? I'm seriously doubting it. To the creator of the website: Good job. If this actually is a real church thing...you're pretty screwed up.
Sincerely, the Catholic/ Protestant, Bound to Hell, Liberal
Monday, April 10th 2006 - 10:09:50 PM
My name is, gdsgdsa My e-mail is, gsgagsa@gdsga.com I have a page at, http://gdsgagdsa.com This is what I have to say: you people are sick and insane
Friday, April 7th 2006 - 12:22:44 PM
My name is, gloria day This is what I have to say: wow,im actually a christian, but i think this is the funniest website in the world! and so does my kickass atheist friend.
Thursday, April 6th 2006 - 01:31:29 PM
My name is, anonymous gamer My e-mail is, bullshit@aol.com I have a page at, http://none This is what I have to say: This site is complete bullshit. I read your article on pokemon, and it is all lies. I myself play pokemon, and there are no evil messages in it. In fact, the characters in the pokemon game and show are very friendly toward others, battle with their pokemon for recreation, not destruction or power, and generally respect thier parents very much, not kill them for gum. Pokemon is very non-violent, there is no death, there are no bad guys, and there are certainly no satanic messages. The guy who conducted the service against pokemon is a messanger of satan himself, and should be fired immediatly. Thank you.
Saturday, April 1st 2006 - 01:18:35 PM
My name is, Analia Istory My e-mail is, helenandmichaelh@adelphia.net This is what I have to say: This is a good parody! I can't BELIEVE some people actually think I'll go to hell for not having children!
Saturday, March 25th 2006 - 09:39:25 AM
My name is, Weasel This is what I have to say: Y'all are a bunch of looneys! I mean that in a good way! The site is a real hoot!
Thursday, March 23rd 2006 - 02:28:39 PM
My name is, Elise This is what I have to say: This site may be a parody, but it is in very bad taste. As for the people arguing that "you shouldn't visit it if you don't like it," this is my first time here and I was more than a bit surprised. I realize that the stuff in here is over the top, but keep in mind that there are actually people like that. We don't need to be reminded. I'd rather forget them.
Thursday, March 23rd 2006 - 01:23:57 AM
My name is, Tony My e-mail is, howaboutno@dodgeit.com This is what I have to say: I wonder where the balance between satire and blasphemy lies?
-T
Saturday, March 18th 2006 - 07:06:48 PM
My name is, Jak This is what I have to say: This site is fantastic! I applaud these people for being able to keep a straight face while preaching this TRUTH! Glory to God for the Interneet and the Landover Baptist Church!
Sunday, March 12th 2006 - 08:18:14 PM
My name is, magicbear52 My e-mail is, prcrouthamel@comcast.net This is what I have to say: Keep up he good work. I've been reading some of your e-mails from other "non-saved morons" and I cannot believe that they can't seem to understand that this is a parody site!!!
I am a devout catholic and I find this site hysterical.. We were all born with a sense of humor and by god, you know how to use it!
I'm going to HELL in a hand basket, but at least I'll die with a smile on my face.
Take care
Thursday, March 2nd 2006 - 05:04:13 AM
My name is, Begone pokemons My e-mail is, pokasie@hotmail.com I have a page at, http://www.begonepokemon.com This is what I have to say: I think pikachu is satan, we have to stand fast and kill the pokemon-demons of hell! I saw blastoise when he killed my bird with a water-wave. It was terrible :(/ I THINK WE SHOULD BURN ALL POKEMON CARDS SO YOU CANT SUMMON THEM TO REAL LIFE!!!!! THEY CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!
Tuesday, February 28th 2006 - 10:43:31 PM
My name is, Gina This is what I have to say: And to those who can't get a laugh from this site, quit visiting it!!!
Tuesday, February 28th 2006 - 10:26:15 PM
My name is, Gina This is what I have to say: This site is hilarious!!! I was laughing so hard I was crying-especially over the 'cross-lighting ceremony' and the 'heat-resisant robes.' I realize what you are doing is for a laugh, so keep it coming. We all need to visit a site like this to bring the humor back!
Thanks for the laughs!
Sunday, February 26th 2006 - 12:00:00 PM
My name is, Nick This is what I have to say: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA times 2
great site
:]
Sunday, February 26th 2006 - 11:59:57 AM
My name is, Nick This is what I have to say: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA times 2
great site
:]
Saturday, February 18th 2006 - 12:22:10 PM
My name is, poker casino782
Saturday, February 18th 2006 - 12:21:12 PM
My name is, poker casino782
Friday, February 17th 2006 - 11:01:33 AM
My name is, Rhett C This is what I have to say: Haha, this site is hilarious. Funny the fact that some people think it's real. You've done a great job with this site, very believable... well... if you don't actually pay much attention to it. I suppose this site pokes fun at anyone who criticizes in ignorance. it is kinda extreme, i'm not atheist myself, but i do not like religion... this is a perfect example of why. It twists people and creates factions in society... politics already does that. So i say... everyone needs to chill the hell out and be more moderate... everything is best in moderation
Tuesday, February 14th 2006 - 05:41:43 PM
My name is, Jay My e-mail is, korn_on_the_cob182@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: The two young men who created this sight are in desperate need of Jesus Christ in their lives, it is a very offensive site. The only reason it was even made was because they were upset about being expelled from their high school. It is disgusting, rude and totally unnecessary.
Monday, February 13th 2006 - 07:45:29 PM
My name is, chris cunningham My e-mail is, chris11188@aol.com This is what I have to say: praise god. speaking in tongues shunda la mosata adla mossia
eda la mo hosa glory!
Monday, February 13th 2006 - 07:43:16 PM
My name is, chris cunningham My e-mail is, chris11188@aol.com This is what I have to say: in the words of judy o christian jesus is gonna get you!
Friday, February 10th 2006 - 10:54:14 PM
My name is, Jessica My e-mail is, groovygirl1317@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: I'm sure you people get plenty of hate mail to fill the White House itself but here's just one more for you add.
1. You will probably end up deleting this because you are nothing but cowards.
2. Watch me wear my short skirts and strapless dresses and I hope you go in the other room and pray, because that way, you're out of my face for 10 minutes.
3. You are the reason America had to make amendments (not commandments) about women's right and rights of minority... oh yeah and religion too.
4. Being gay has nothing to do with god. If they were born that way wouldn't god have made that person gay? If there even is a god? Love is love, no matter who the person is.
5. You are nothing but a biased cult in a country where you are fighting a fight you will never win. Remember, there is always some rational person out there, not filled with this Jesus shit, that will oppose you. Do what you will with you 'big book' filled with words written by men (not by God) and stick to your white churches and basements filled with swastikas. Leave all those who use there minds, including god forbid Liberals *says sarcastically* to live their lives without you people butting in.
and finally:
6. And in the end, you are right about all this god and jesus crap, and all those who thought for themselves are in hell, it will be well worth it. I would rather be sitting in hell in the end than in heaven with you people.
Your buddy,
Jessica
[ Sign my Dreambook | Back to The Landover Baptist Church Guestbook ]