Welcome to The Landover Baptist Church Guestbook,
If you are not saved, GET OUT and STAY OUT!
but stop by our T-Shirt Shop first.
God Bless You If You Are Saved!
Friday, April 12th 2013 - 02:23:16 PM
My name is, Sharon My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: I want to testify of the good work of a spell caster called Dr. Ishawuru...
I and my husband were happily married with two kids, a boy and a girl. We have been together for 6 yrs now. Three months ago, I noticed some strange attitude from my husband and a month later I found out that my husband is seeing someone else outside my matrimonial home. He started coming home late from work, He hardly care about me or the kids, Sometimes he goes out and doesn't come back home for one week. I became very worried and needed help. As I was browsing through the internet I came across a website that suggested that Dr. Ishawuru can help. I felt I should give him a try. So, I contacted him and he did a spell for me. Three days later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr. Ishawuru. If you need a spell caster that can cast a spell that truly works, I suggest you contact him. He will never disappoint you. For those that are interested, this is his email address: email@example.com
Friday, March 15th 2013 - 02:58:48 PM
My name is, evelyn My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster when i went to see my friend in Indian beginning of this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is okadibo, he is really powerful and could help cast spells to restore one's relationship and also promote his business. I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me a week before our wedding and my life was full of sorrow cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And 4 days when i returned to Poland, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he is called to resume a new paying job in two weeks time. I was excited and happy and we immediately get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to
do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our kids. His email is email@example.com if you need any assistance in life.
Sunday, February 24th 2013 - 11:09:05 PM
My name is, kasha My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: - I am kasha i lives in uk and i was in a serious relationship with my ex guy for three good years.. One day we were in a dinner party, we had a little misunderstanding which lead to a Quarrel and he stood up and left me at the dinner party. i try to call him but he was not picking my calls so after than i contacted my brother and told him about it,my brother so much love me that he had to see him on my behalf,he told my brother that it is over between us.. Then i contacted a friend of mine that had this similar experience and she directed me to one of the spiritual diviner (email@example.com).at first i thought it was not going to be possible and i contacted him i was ask to come up with a little requirement,so i did what i was ask to do, after 3 days i was in my office when my ex guy called me and was asking me to forgive him and come back to him. i was very surprise it was like a dream to me,so ever since we have been happily married with one kid my lovely baby(Ceslav)...i wish you the best of luck...
Wednesday, January 23rd 2013 - 10:59:42 AM
My name is, tessy My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: i want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to Dr.Ishvara for bringing back my husband who left i and the kids for almost two months. i am very much grateful to Dr.Ishvara. I pray God almighty give you the strength and wisdom to help more people having similar problem like mine. for help you can reach him on his email address: email@example.com
Monday, January 14th 2013 - 08:49:25 AM
My name is, Emily My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://hem.passagen.se/piv0/diovan-hct/index.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://hamton.xhost.ro/hydrocodone/">hydrocodone</a> is about hydrocodone... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://dancer.jislaaik.com/ionamin/free-shipping.html">free shipping</a> is about free shipping... Great site, I am surfing the web and well this helped me a lot on my query! Haven't had much luck finding such a good info! GREAT JOB! Visit our site and have fun!
Wednesday, January 9th 2013 - 10:39:14 AM
My name is, Vaughn My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://danoot.myartsonline.com/modafinil/modafinil-sales.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://bast.jislaaik.com/norco/fontana-norco.html">fontana norco</a> is about fontana norco... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://kohle.20fr.com/biltricide/chemical-structure.html">chemical structure</a> is about chemical structure... You have a very good webpage here, so best greetings to you and all your visitors. Admin of our site
Thursday, December 13th 2012 - 03:12:57 AM
My name is, Edward My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://digilander.libero.it/patmaoufo.m/ionamin/ionamin-30mg.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://yasmen.freeservers.com/inderal/caffeine.html">caffeine</a> is about caffeine... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://www.freewebs.com/blue0shamen5/avodart/">avodart</a> is about avodart... Thanks for your site! BTW, this is very interesting site: our site ... You may find it useful!
Saturday, December 1st 2012 - 09:07:27 AM
My name is, Londyn My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://keines.biz.ly/albuterol/order-albuterol-canada.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://hem.passagen.se/radase/aggrenox/discount-drugstore.html">discount drugstore</a> is about discount drugstore... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://dreyer.iwarp.com/meloxicam/meloxicam-overnight.html">meloxicam overnight</a> is about meloxicam overnight... I'm webmaster of our site and I can say that your site is really unique. I have been a fan for a long time also. I love your webite. Your artwork is amazing. You rock! Yes, very nice.
Tuesday, November 20th 2012 - 07:30:22 AM
My name is, Guy My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://lauty.chez.com/vaniqa/vaniqa-cream.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://www.galeon.com/blac/accu-check/generic-drugs.html">generic drugs</a> is about generic drugs... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://www.angelfire.com/droid/gulnara/codeine-phosphate/middletown-codeine-phosphate.html">middletown codeine phosphate</a> is about middletown codeine phosphate... I enjoyed your site very much, I just finished mine yesterday, Please check our site too!
Thursday, November 8th 2012 - 03:01:41 PM
My name is, Reina My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://www.angelfire.com/ab/delboy/soma/soma-communities.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://vukelic.freeservers.com/colchicine/colchicine-pericarditis.html">colchicine pericarditis</a> is about colchicine pericarditis... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://auldis.fabpage.com/rivotril/rivotril-street-price.html">rivotril street price</a> is about rivotril street price... Hey, you guys! I know some people are visiting this site already. Let me know youve been here and give an opinion of this website and my sites our site too!
Thursday, October 11th 2012 - 05:58:36 PM
My name is, Taylor My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://members.multimania.nl/aballi/imovane/stilnox.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://kooktv.blackapplehost.com/darvocet/darvocet-5113.html">darvocet 5113</a> is about darvocet 5113... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://gaille.mywebcommunity.org/aciphex/peoria-aciphex.html">peoria aciphex</a> is about peoria aciphex... I love the site!!! Keep up the good work. Thanx for all the pics and info! our site webmaster.
Wednesday, September 19th 2012 - 03:14:36 AM
My name is, Matthew My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://brogg.indiegroup.com/lamisil/tulare-lamisil.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://www.angelfire.com/dc/litotricia/effexor/effexor-xl.html">effexor xl</a> is about effexor xl... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://bofart.indiegroup.com/tramadol-hcl/indio-tramadol-hcl.html">indio tramadol hcl</a> is about indio tramadol hcl... Dont know if you remember me, but anyway very good work! Good luck to all from mexico. cu you all soon. Visit us at our site and have fun!
Thursday, August 9th 2012 - 08:31:00 AM
My name is, Sage Rodriguez My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org
Monday, July 2nd 2012 - 12:35:52 PM
My name is, Ariana My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://fisika.4t.com/tenuate/online-pharmacy-india.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://guson.canadianwebs.com/aciphex/quebec-aciphex.html">quebec aciphex</a> is about quebec aciphex... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://hem.passagen.se/dalenbros/allegra/allegra-d-mail-order.html">allegra d mail order</a> is about allegra d mail order... Dont know if you remember me, but anyway very good work! Good luck to all from mexico. cu you all soon. Visit us at our site and have fun!
Wednesday, June 27th 2012 - 04:08:36 PM
My name is, Rachel Woods My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: I'm sure the parish of this church contains great Christians, but judging other people is not what God would have wanted. God said to 'Love thy neighbor'. He never said to hate Catholics, Jews, gays, or any other type of people. Good Christians are kind and accepting to everyone. The nature of these sermons reflect very poorly on the Landover Baptist Church as a whole. The comments and accusations made hold no factual value. I would recommend researching the things you are accusing people of doing before you preach this to your parishoners. I truly hope you find God and learn all about acceptance, tolerance, and what a true Christian is! God bless you!
Monday, June 25th 2012 - 05:24:46 AM
My name is, Lynn My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: is this website for real? this really a church with members?
Tuesday, March 27th 2012 - 05:04:50 AM
My name is, Leo My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://www.vakantieverlangen.nl This is what I have to say: We love this church! We will tell everybody!!
Tuesday, February 28th 2012 - 08:43:04 AM
My name is, Lianne My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://hypotheek-oversluiten.webklik.nl This is what I have to say: Thanks for everything. We will come again soon.
Thursday, February 2nd 2012 - 09:44:23 PM
My name is, MARIONEIL35 My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://goodfinance-blog.com This is what I have to say: Don't have a lot of cash to buy a car? Worry no more, just because it's real to get the <a href="http://goodfinance-blog.com/topics/mortgage-loans">mortgage loans</a> to work out such kind of problems. Therefore take a term loan to buy everything you need.
Tuesday, September 27th 2011 - 05:44:21 AM
My name is, keijo My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: Thank you to the Lord for grace with us and side will grow to big the temple for God´s glory and his lving the room i nme with thanksgiving and pure hearts love and peace,thanks and bless and live in praying,keijo sweden
Friday, September 23rd 2011 - 03:09:29 PM
My name is, Paige My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://indianbaby.esmartkid.com/azithromycin/azithromycin-500mg.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://lubani.latinowebs.com/valium/wayne-valium.html">wayne valium</a> is about wayne valium... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://digilander.libero.it/casabrach/soma/soma-from-wholesaler.html">soma from wholesaler</a> is about soma from wholesaler... Greetings from Denmark. You have a lovely website, Visit our site and have fun! I'd like to wish you all the best for the future.
Friday, September 16th 2011 - 12:07:38 AM
My name is, Not Satan This is what I have to say: ummm you guys are too extreme! you know you can't arrest a person because of their religious belifs in this country, you morons!!! Look it up its called Freedom of Relglion and Freedom of Speech
Sunday, July 3rd 2011 - 12:44:39 AM
My name is, Penis Dickhead My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://lemonparty.org This is what I have to say: I am going to rape your virgins.
Monday, June 27th 2011 - 03:47:58 PM
My name is, Unconvinced Atheist My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: Convince me. That's all I want.
Visit my website lemonparty.org
Monday, June 20th 2011 - 07:50:12 PM
My name is, Linzi My e-mail is, Linzi_Cain@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: Haha thank you Chris Harper!
Sunday, March 27th 2011 - 10:17:24 PM
My name is, A True Believer This is what I have to say: You know there are people here saying how wrong you guys are and how you guys will burn in hell but this website just shows me the all-blinding light of truth!! I see clearly now that I can't take a moderate view on anything, or that's heresy, AKA the devil's child. What ever is in the bible, no matter how 'ridiculous', 'inhumane', 'mean' it might seem to us in our heathenesque society, is really there to be listened to. So true that we can take a sentence or a phrase and blow it up into a whole belief! Better yet, it's SO true that we can take even a vaguely suggested or implied idea and BAM it is the Word of GOD. And any of ya'll who don't believe then BAM you are going to hell! No more cherry-pickin for this believer, from now on it's no blended fabrics or letting people without testicles into church for me!
Thursday, March 3rd 2011 - 11:36:19 AM
My name is, Elizabeth My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://digilander.libero.it/stefano41az/ultram/ultram-addiction.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://dkdkosice.host.sk/temazepam/temazepam-prices.html">temazepam prices</a> is about temazepam prices... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://digilander.libero.it/eko77/pain-killers/cat-pain-killers.html">cat pain killers</a> is about cat pain killers... My friend told me to visit your site because she said its beautiful. She really was telling that truth. Indeed, your site is amazing. Ill surely go visit here again. Keep up the good work! :D Visit our site and have fun!
Friday, February 25th 2011 - 08:41:42 PM
My name is, Thomas A. My e-mail is, Tjanderson85@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: ok i have come to the sad conclusion that thease ppl are real!
with that said, I just read the artical intoxicated by christian blood.... and laughed harder than i have in a long long time i dont dont know where thease ppl came up with their wiccan understandings but it is sooooo far off its not even funny, how do i know? I AM WICCAN! thease people are twisted and sick and i hope that one day they realise their errors
Friday, January 14th 2011 - 04:22:46 PM
My name is, WAR AND PEACE By Leo Tolstoy/Tolstoi BOOK ONE: 1805 CHAPTER I "Well, Prince, so Genoa and Lucca are now just family estates of the Buonapartes. But I warn you, if you don't tell me that this means war, if you still try to defend the infamies and horrors perpetrated by that Antichrist--I really believe he is Antichrist--I will have nothing more to do with you and you are no longer my friend, no longer my 'faithful slave,' as you call yourself! But how do you do? I see I have frightened you--sit down and tell me all the news." It was in July, 1805, and the speaker was the well-known Anna Pavlovna Scherer, maid of honor and favorite of the Empress Marya Fedorovna. With these words she greeted Prince Vasili Kuragin, a man of high rank and importance, who was the first to arrive at her reception. Anna Pavlovna had had a cough for some days. She was, as she said, suffering from la grippe; grippe being then a new word in St. Petersburg, used only by the elite. All her invitations without exception, written in French, and delivered by a scarlet-liveried footman that morning, ran as follows: "If you have nothing better to do, Count (or Prince), and if the prospect of spending an evening with a poor invalid is not too terrible, I shall be very charmed to see you tonight between 7 and 10--Annette Scherer." "Heavens! what a virulent attack!" replied the prince, not in the least disconcerted by this reception. He had just entered, wearing an embroidered court uniform, knee breeches, and shoes, and had stars on his breast and a serene expression on his flat face. He spoke in that refined French in which our grandfathers not only spoke but thought, and with the gentle, patronizing intonation natural to a man of importance who had grown old in society and at court. He went up to Anna Pavlovna, kissed her hand, presenting to her his bald, scented, and shining head, and complacently seated himself on the sofa. "First of all, dear friend, tell me how you are. Set your friend's mind at rest," said he without altering his tone, beneath the politeness and affected sympathy of which indifference and even irony could be discerned. "Can one be well while suffering morally? Can one be calm in times like these if one has any feeling?" said Anna Pavlovna. "You are staying the whole evening, I hope?" "And the fete at the English ambassador's? Today is Wednesday. I must put in an appearance there," said the prince. "My daughter is coming for me to take me there." "I thought today's fete had been canceled. I confess all these festivities and fireworks are becoming wearisome." "If they had known that you wished it, the entertainment would have been put off," said the prince, who, like a wound-up clock, by force of habit said things he did not even wish to be believed. "Don't tease! Well, and what has been decided about Novosiltsev's dispatch? You know everything." "What can one say about it?" replied the prince in a cold, listless tone. "What has been decided? They have decided that Buonaparte has burnt his boats, and I believe that we are ready to burn ours." Prince Vasili always spoke languidly, like an actor repeating a stale part. Anna Pavlovna Scherer on the contrary, despite her forty years, overflowed with animation and impulsiveness. To be an enthusiast had become her social vocation and, sometimes even when she did not feel like it, she became enthusiastic in order not to disappoint the expectations of those who knew her. The subdued smile which, though it did not suit her faded features, always played round her lips expressed, as in a spoiled child, a continual consciousness of her charming defect, which she neither wished, nor could, nor considered it necessary, to correct. In the midst of a conversation on political matters Anna Pavlovna burst out: "Oh, don't speak to me of Austria. Perhaps I don't understand things, but Austria never has wished, and does not wish, for war. She is betraying us! Russia alone must save Europe. Our gracious sovereign recognizes his high vocation and will be true to it. That is the one thing I have faith in! Our good and wonderful sovereign has to perform the noblest role on earth, and he is so virtuous and noble that God will not forsake him. He will fulfill his vocation and crush the hydra of revolution, which has become more terrible than ever in the person of this murderer and villain! We alone must avenge the blood of the just one.... Whom, I ask you, can we rely on?... England with her commercial spirit will not and cannot understand the Emperor Alexander's loftiness of soul. She has refused to evacuate Malta. She wanted to find, and still seeks, some secret motive in our actions. What answer did Novosiltsev get? None. The English have not understood and cannot understand the self-abnegation of our Emperor who wants nothing for himself, but only desires the good of mankind. And what have they promised? Nothing! And what little they have promised they will not perform! Prussia has always declared that Buonaparte is invincible, and that all Europe is powerless before him.... And I don't believe a word that Hardenburg says, or Haugwitz either. This famous Prussian neutrality is just a trap. I have faith only in God and the lofty destiny of our adored monarch. He will save Europe!" She suddenly paused, smiling at her own impetuosity. "I think," said the prince with a smile, "that if you had been sent instead of our dear Wintzingerode you would have captured the King of Prussia's consent by assault. You are so eloquent. Will you give me a cup of tea?" "In a moment. A propos," she added, becoming calm again, "I am expecting two very interesting men tonight, le Vicomte de Mortemart, who is connected with the Montmorencys through the Rohans, one of the best French families. He is one of the genuine emigres, the good ones. And also the Abbe Morio. Do you know that profound thinker? He has been received by the Emperor. Had you heard?" "I shall be delighted to meet them," said the prince. "But tell me," he added with studied carelessness as if it had only just occurred to him, though the question he was about to ask was the chief motive of his visit, "is it true that the Dowager Empress wants Baron Funke to be appointed first secretary at Vienna? The baron by all accounts is a poor creature." Prince Vasili wished to obtain this post for his son, but others were trying through the Dowager Empress Marya Fedorovna to secure it for the baron. Anna Pavlovna almost closed her eyes to indicate that neither she nor anyone else had a right to criticize what the Empress desired or was pleased with. "Baron Funke has been recommended to the Dowager Empress by her sister," was all she said, in a dry and mournful tone. As she named the Empress, Anna Pavlovna's face suddenly assumed an expression of profound and sincere devotion and respect mingled with sadness, and this occurred every time she mentioned her illustrious patroness. She added that Her Majesty had deigned to show Baron Funke beaucoup d'estime, and again her face clouded over with sadness. The prince was silent and looked indifferent. But, with the womanly and courtierlike quickness and tact habitual to her, Anna Pavlovna wished both to rebuke him (for daring to speak he had done of a man recommended to the Empress) and at the same time to console him, so she said: "Now about your family. Do you know that since your daughter came out everyone has been enraptured by her? They say she is amazingly beautiful." The prince bowed to signify his respect and gratitude. "I often think," she continued after a short pause, drawing nearer to the prince and smiling amiably at him as if to show that political and social topics were ended and the time had come for intimate conversation--"I often think how unfairly sometimes the joys of life are distributed. Why has fate given you two such splendid children? I don't speak of Anatole, your youngest. I don't like him," she added in a tone admitting of no rejoinder and raising her eyebrows. "Two such charming children. And really you appreciate them less than anyone, and so you don't deserve to have them." And she smiled her ecstatic smile. "I can't help it," said the prince. "Lavater would have said I lack the bump of paternity." "Don't joke; I mean to have a serious talk with you. Do you know I am dissatisfied with your younger son? Between ourselves" (and her face assumed its melancholy expression), "he was mentioned at Her Majesty's and you were pitied...." The prince answered nothing, but she looked at him significantly, awaiting a reply. He frowned. "What would you have me do?" he said at last. "You know I did all a father could for their education, and they have both turned out fools. Hippolyte is at least a quiet fool, but Anatole is an active one. That is the only difference between them." He said this smiling in a way more natural and animated than usual, so that the wrinkles round his mouth very clearly revealed something unexpectedly coarse and unpleasant. "And why are children born to such men as you? If you were not a father there would be nothing I could reproach you with," said Anna Pavlovna, looking up pensively. "I am your faithful slave and to you alone I can confess that my children are the bane of my life. It is the cross I have to bear. That is how I explain it to myself. It can't be helped!" He said no more, but expressed his resignation to cruel fate by a gesture. Anna Pavlovna meditated. "Have you never thought of marrying your prodigal son Anatole?" she asked. "They say old maids have a mania for matchmaking, and though I don't feel that weakness in myself as yet, I know a little person who is very unhappy with her father. She is a relation of yours, Princess Mary Bolkonskaya." Prince Vasili did not reply, though, with the quickness of memory and perception befitting a man of the world, he indicated by a movement of the head that he was considering this information. "Do you know," he said at last, evidently unable to check the sad current of his thoughts, "that Anatole is costing me forty thousand rubles a year? And," he went on after a pause, "what will it be in five years, if he goes on like this?" Presently he added: "That's what we fathers have to put up with.... Is this princess of yours rich?" "Her father is very rich and stingy. He lives in the country. He is the well-known Prince Bolkonski who had to retire from the army under the late Emperor, and was nicknamed 'the King of Prussia.' He is very clever but eccentric, and a bore. The poor girl is very unhappy. She has a brother; I think you know him, he married Lise Meinen lately. He is an aide-de-camp of Kutuzov's and will be here tonight." "Listen, dear Annette," said the prince, suddenly taking Anna Pavlovna's hand and for some reason drawing it downwards. "Arrange that affair for me and I shall always be your most devoted slave-slafe with an f, as a village elder of mine writes in his reports. She is rich and of good family and that's all I want." And with the familiarity and easy grace peculiar to him, he raised the maid of honor's hand to his lips, kissed it, and swung it to and fro as he lay back in his armchair, looking in another direction. "Attendez," said Anna Pavlovna, reflecting, "I'll speak to Lise, young Bolkonski's wife, this very evening, and perhaps the thing can be arranged. It shall be on your family's behalf that I'll start my apprenticeship as old maid." CHAPTER II Anna Pavlovna's drawing room was gradually filling. The highest Petersburg society was assembled there: people differing widely in age and character but alike in the social circle to which they belonged. Prince Vasili's daughter, the beautiful Helene, came to take her father to the ambassador's entertainment; she wore a ball dress and her badge as maid of honor. The youthful little Princess Bolkonskaya, known as la femme la plus seduisante de Petersbourg, * was also there. She had been married during the previous winter, and being pregnant did not go to any large gatherings, but only to small receptions. Prince Vasili's son, Hippolyte, had come with Mortemart, whom he introduced. The Abbe Morio and many others had also come. * The most fascinating woman in Petersburg. To each new arrival Anna Pavlovna said, "You have not yet seen my aunt," or "You do not know my aunt?" and very gravely conducted him or her to a little old lady, wearing large bows of ribbon in her cap, who had come sailing in from another room as soon as the guests began to arrive; and slowly turning her eyes from the visitor to her aunt, Anna Pavlovna mentioned each one's name and then left them. Each visitor performed the ceremony of greeting this old aunt whom not one of them knew, not one of them wanted to know, and not one of them cared about; Anna Pavlovna observed these greetings with mournful and solemn interest and silent approval. The aunt spoke to each of them in the same words, about their health and her own, and the health of Her Majesty, "who, thank God, was better today." And each visitor, though politeness prevented his showing impatience, left the old woman with a sense of relief at having performed a vexatious duty and did not return to her the whole evening. The young Princess Bolkonskaya had brought some work in a gold-embroidered velvet bag. Her pretty little upper lip, on which a delicate dark down was just perceptible, was too short for her teeth, but it lifted all the more sweetly, and was especially charming when she occasionally drew it down to meet the lower lip. As is always the case with a thoroughly attractive woman, her defect--the shortness of her upper lip and her half-open mouth--seemed to be her own special and peculiar form of beauty. Everyone brightened at the sight of this pretty young woman, so soon to become a mother, so full of life and health, and carrying her burden so lightly. Old men and dull dispirited young ones who looked at her, after being in her company and talking to her a little while, felt as if they too were becoming, like her, full of life and health. All who talked to her, and at each word saw her bright smile and the constant gleam of her white teeth, thought that they were in a specially amiable mood that day. The little princess went round the table with quick, short, swaying steps, her workbag on her arm, and gaily spreading out her dress sat down on a sofa near the silver samovar, as if all she was doing was a pleasure to herself and to all around her. "I have brought my work," said she in French, displaying her bag and addressing all present. "Mind, Annette, I hope you have not played a wicked trick on me," she added, turning to her hostess. "You wrote that it was to be quite a small reception, and just see how badly I am dressed." And she spread out her arms to show her short-waisted, lace-trimmed, dainty gray dress, girdled with a broad ribbon just below the breast. "Soyez tranquille, Lise, you will always be prettier than anyone else," replied Anna Pavlovna. "You know," said the princess in the same tone of voice and still in French, turning to a general, "my husband is deserting me? He is going to get himself killed. Tell me what this wretched war is for?" she added, addressing Prince Vasili, and without waiting for an answer she turned to speak to his daughter, the beautiful Helene. "What a delightful woman this little princess is!" said Prince Vasili to Anna Pavlovna. One of the next arrivals was a stout, heavily built young man with close-cropped hair, spectacles, the light-colored breeches fashionable at that time, a very high ruffle, and a brown dress coat. This stout young man was an illegitimate son of Count Bezukhov, a well-known grandee of Catherine's time who now lay dying in Moscow. The young man had not yet entered either the military or civil service, as he had only just returned from abroad where he had been educated, and this was his first appearance in society. Anna Pavlovna greeted him with the nod she accorded to the lowest hierarchy in her drawing room. But in spite of this lowest-grade greeting, a look of anxiety and fear, as at the sight of something too large and unsuited to the place, came over her face when she saw Pierre enter. Though he was certainly rather bigger than the other men in the room, her anxiety could only have reference to the clever though shy, but observant and natural, expression which distinguished him from everyone else in that drawing room. "It is very good of you, Monsieur Pierre, to come and visit a poor invalid," said Anna Pavlovna, exchanging an alarmed glance with her aunt as she conducted him to her. Pierre murmured something unintelligible, and continued to look round as if in search of something. On his way to the aunt he bowed to the little princess with a pleased smile, as to an intimate acquaintance. Anna Pavlovna's alarm was justified, for Pierre turned away from the aunt without waiting to hear her speech about Her Majesty's health. Anna Pavlovna in dismay detained him with the words: "Do you know the Abbe Morio? He is a most interesting man." "Yes, I have heard of his scheme for perpetual peace, and it is very interesting but hardly feasible." "You think so?" rejoined Anna Pavlovna in order to say something and get away to attend to her duties as hostess. But Pierre now committed a reverse act of impoliteness. First he had left a lady before she had finished speaking to him, and now he continued to speak to another who wished to get away. With his head bent, and his big feet spread apart, he began explaining his reasons for thinking the abbe's plan chimerical. "We will talk of it later," said Anna Pavlovna with a smile. And having got rid of this young man who did not know how to behave, she resumed her duties as hostess and continued to listen and watch, ready to help at any point where the conversation might happen to flag. As the foreman of a spinning mill, when he has set the hands to work, goes round and notices here a spindle that has stopped or there one that creaks or makes more noise than it should, and hastens to check the machine or set it in proper motion, so Anna Pavlovna moved about her drawing room, approaching now a silent, now a too-noisy group, and by a word or slight rearrangement kept the conversational machine in steady, proper, and regular motion. But amid these cares her anxiety about Pierre was evident. She kept an anxious watch on him when he approached the group round Mortemart to listen to what was being said there, and again when he passed to another group whose center was the abbe. Pierre had been educated abroad, and this reception at Anna Pavlovna's was the first he had attended in Russia. He knew that all the intellectual lights of Petersburg were gathered there and, like a child in a toyshop, did not know which way to look, afraid of missing any clever conversation that was to be heard. Seeing the self-confident and refined expression on the faces of those present he was always expecting to hear something very profound. At last he came up to Morio. Here the conversation seemed interesting and he stood waiting for an opportunity to express his own views, as young people are fond of doing. CHAPTER III Anna Pavlovna's reception was in full swing. The spindles hummed steadily and ceaselessly on all sides. With the exception of the aunt, beside whom sat only one elderly lady, who with her thin careworn face was rather out of place in this brilliant society, the whole company had settled into three groups. One, chiefly masculine, had formed round the abbe. Another, of young people, was grouped round the beautiful Princess Helene, Prince Vasili's daughter, and the little Princess Bolkonskaya, very pretty and rosy, though rather too plump for her age. The third group was gathered round Mortemart and Anna Pavlovna. The vicomte was a nice-looking young man with soft features and polished manners, who evidently considered himself a celebrity but out of politeness modestly placed himself at the disposal of the circle in which he found himself. Anna Pavlovna was obviously serving him up as a treat to her guests. As a clever maitre d'hotel serves up as a specially choice delicacy a piece of meat that no one who had seen it in the kitchen would have cared to eat, so Anna Pavlovna served up to her guests, first the vicomte and then the abbe, as peculiarly choice morsels. The group about Mortemart immediately began discussing the murder of the Duc d'Enghien. The vicomte said that the Duc d'Enghien had perished by his own magnanimity, and that there were particular reasons for Buonaparte's hatred of him. "Ah, yes! Do tell us all about it, Vicomte," said Anna Pavlovna, with a pleasant feeling that there was something a la Louis XV in the sound of that sentence: "Contez nous cela, Vicomte." The vicomte bowed and smiled courteously in token of his willingness to comply. Anna Pavlovna arranged a group round him, inviting everyone to listen to his tale. "The vicomte knew the duc personally," whispered Anna Pavlovna to of the guests. "The vicomte is a wonderful raconteur," said she to another. "How evidently he belongs to the best society," said she to a third; and the vicomte was served up to the company in the choicest and most advantageous style, like a well-garnished joint of roast beef on a hot dish. The vicomte wished to begin his story and gave a subtle smile. "Come over here, Helene, dear," said Anna Pavlovna to the beautiful young princess who was sitting some way off, the center of another group. The princess smiled. She rose with the same unchanging smile with which she had first entered the room--the smile of a perfectly beautiful woman. With a slight rustle of her white dress trimmed with moss and ivy, with a gleam of white shoulders, glossy hair, and sparkling diamonds, she passed between the men who made way for her, not looking at any of them but smiling on all, as if graciously allowing each the privilege of admiring her beautiful figure and shapely shoulders, back, and bosom--which in the fashion of those days were very much exposed--and she seemed to bring the glamour of a ballroom with her as she moved toward Anna Pavlovna. Helene was so lovely that not only did she not show any trace of coquetry, but on the contrary she even appeared shy of her unquestionable and all too victorious beauty. She seemed to wish, but to be unable, to diminish its effect. "How lovely!" said everyone who saw her; and the vicomte lifted his shoulders and dropped his eyes as if startled by something extraordinary when she took her seat opposite and beamed upon him also with her unchanging smile. "Madame, I doubt my ability before such an audience," said he, smilingly inclining his head. The princess rested her bare round arm on a little table and considered a reply unnecessary. She smilingly waited. All the time the story was being told she sat upright, glancing now at her beautiful round arm, altered in shape by its pressure on the table, now at her still more beautiful bosom, on which she readjusted a diamond necklace. From time to time she smoothed the folds of her dress, and whenever the story produced an effect she glanced at Anna Pavlovna, at once adopted just the expression she saw on the maid of honor's face, and again relapsed into her radiant smile. The little princess had also left the tea table and followed Helene. "Wait a moment, I'll get my work.... Now then, what are you thinking of?" she went on, turning to Prince Hippolyte. "Fetch me my workbag." There was a general movement as the princess, smiling and talking merrily to everyone at once, sat down and gaily arranged herself in her seat. "Now I am all right," she said, and asking the vicomte to begin, she took up her work. Prince Hippolyte, having brought the workbag, joined the circle and moving a chair close to hers seated himself beside her. Le charmant Hippolyte was surprising by his extraordinary resemblance to his beautiful sister, but yet more by the fact that in spite of this resemblance he was exceedingly ugly. His features were like his sister's, but while in her case everything was lit up by a joyous, self-satisfied, youthful, and constant smile of animation, and by the wonderful classic beauty of her figure, his face on the contrary was dulled by imbecility and a constant expression of sullen self-confidence, while his body was thin and weak. His eyes, nose, and mouth all seemed puckered into a vacant, wearied grimace, and his arms and legs always fell into unnatural positions. "It's not going to be a ghost story?" said he, sitting down beside the princess and hastily adjusting his lorgnette, as if without this instrument he could not begin to speak. "Why no, my dear fellow," said the astonished narrator, shrugging his shoulders. "Because I hate ghost stories," said Prince Hippolyte in a tone which showed that he only understood the meaning of his words after he had uttered them. He spoke with such self-confidence that his hearers could not be sure whether what he said was very witty or very stupid. He was dressed in a dark-green dress coat, knee breeches of the color of cuisse de nymphe effrayee, as he called it, shoes, and silk stockings. The vicomte told his tale very neatly. It was an anecdote, then current, to the effect that the Duc d'Enghien had gone secretly to Paris to visit Mademoiselle George; that at her house he came upon Bonaparte, who also enjoyed the famous actress' favors, and that in his presence Napoleon happened to fall into one of the fainting fits to which he was subject, and was thus at the duc's mercy. The latter spared him, and this magnanimity Bonaparte subsequently repaid by death. The story was very pretty and interesting, especially at the point where the rivals suddenly recognized one another; and the ladies looked agitated. "Charming!" said Anna Pavlovna with an inquiring glance at the little princess. "Charming!" whispered the little princess, sticking the needle into her work as if to testify that the interest and fascination of the story prevented her from going on with it. The vicomte appreciated this silent praise and smiling gratefully prepared to continue, but just then Anna Pavlovna, who had kept a watchful eye on the young man who so alarmed her, noticed that he was talking too loudly and vehemently with the abbe, so she hurried to the rescue. Pierre had managed to start a conversation with the abbe about the balance of power, and the latter, evidently interested by the young man's simple-minded eagerness, was explaining his pet theory. Both were talking and listening too eagerly and too naturally, which was why Anna Pavlovna disapproved. "The means are... the balance of power in Europe and the rights of the people," the abbe was saying. "It is only necessary for one powerful nation like Russia--barbaric as she is said to be--to place herself disinterestedly at the head of an alliance having for its object the maintenance of the balance of power of Europe, and it would save the world!" "But how are you to get that balance?" Pierre was beginning. At that moment Anna Pavlovna came up and, looking severely at Pierre, asked the Italian how he stood Russian climate. The Italian's face instantly changed and assumed an offensively affected, sugary expression, evidently habitual to him when conversing with women. "I am so enchanted by the brilliancy of the wit and culture of the society, more especially of the feminine society, in which I have had the honor of being received, that I have not yet had time to think of the climate," said he. Not letting the abbe and Pierre escape, Anna Pavlovna, the more conveniently to keep them under observation, brought them into the larger circle. CHAPTER IV Just then another visitor entered the drawing room: Prince Andrew Bolkonski, the little princess' husband. He was a very handsome young man, of medium height, with firm, clearcut features. Everything about him, from his weary, bored expression to his quiet, measured step, offered a most striking contrast to his quiet, little wife. It was evident that he not only knew everyone in the drawing room, but had found them to be so tiresome that it wearied him to look at or listen to them. And among all these faces that he found so tedious, none seemed to bore him so much as that of his pretty wife. He turned away from her with a grimace that distorted his handsome face, kissed Anna Pavlovna's hand, and screwing up his eyes scanned the whole company. "You are off to the war, Prince?" said Anna Pavlovna. "General Kutuzov," said Bolkonski, speaking French and stressing the last syllable of the general's name like a Frenchman, "has been pleased to take me as an aide-de-camp...." "And Lise, your wife?" "She will go to the country." "Are you not ashamed to deprive us of your charming wife?" "Andre," said his wife, addressing her husband in the same coquettish manner in which she spoke to other men, "the vicomte has been telling us such a tale about Mademoiselle George and Buonaparte!" Prince Andrew screwed up his eyes and turned away. Pierre, who from the moment Prince Andrew entered the room had watched him with glad, affectionate eyes, now came up and took his arm. Before he looked round Prince Andrew frowned again, expressing his annoyance with whoever was touching his arm, but when he saw Pierre's beaming face he gave him an unexpectedly kind and pleasant smile. "There now!... So you, too, are in the great world?" said he to Pierre. "I knew you would be here," replied Pierre. "I will come to supper with you. May I?" he added in a low voice so as not to disturb the vicomte who was continuing his story. "No, impossible!" said Prince Andrew, laughing and pressing Pierre's hand to show that there was no need to ask the question. He wished to say something more, but at that moment Prince Vasili and his daughter got up to go and the two young men rose to let them pass. "You must excuse me, dear Vicomte," said Prince Vasili to the Frenchman, holding him down by the sleeve in a friendly way to prevent his rising. "This unfortunate fete at the ambassador's deprives me of a pleasure, and obliges me to interrupt you. I am very sorry to leave your enchanting party," said he, turning to Anna Pavlovna. His daughter, Princess Helene, passed between the chairs, lightly holding up the folds of her dress, and the smile shone still more radiantly on her beautiful face. Pierre gazed at her with rapturous, almost frightened, eyes as she passed him. "Very lovely," said Prince Andrew. "Very," said Pierre. In passing Prince Vasili seized Pierre's hand and said to Anna Pavlovna: "Educate this bear for me! He has been staying with me a whole month and this is the first time I have seen him in society. Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the society of clever women." Anna Pavlovna smiled and promised to take Pierre in hand. She knew his father to be a connection of Prince Vasili's. The elderly lady who had been sitting with the old aunt rose hurriedly and overtook Prince Vasili in the anteroom. All the affectation of interest she had assumed had left her kindly and tear-worn face and it now expressed only anxiety and fear. "How about my son Boris, Prince?" said she, hurrying after him into the anteroom. "I can't remain any longer in Petersburg. Tell me what news I may take back to my poor boy." Although Prince Vasili listened reluctantly and not very politely to the elderly lady, even betraying some impatience, she gave him an ingratiating and appealing smile, and took his hand that he might not go away. "What would it cost you to say a word to the Emperor, and then he would be transferred to the Guards at once?" said she. "Believe me, Princess, I am ready to do all I can," answered Prince Vasili, "but it is difficult for me to ask the Emperor. I should advise you to appeal to Rumyantsev through Prince Golitsyn. That would be the best way." The elderly lady was a Princess Drubetskaya, belonging to one of the best families in Russia, but she was poor, and having long been out of society had lost her former influential connections. She had now come to Petersburg to procure an appointment in the Guards for her only son. It was, in fact, solely to meet Prince Vasili that she had obtained an invitation to Anna Pavlovna's reception and had sat listening to the vicomte's story. Prince Vasili's words frightened her, an embittered look clouded her once handsome face, but only for a moment; then she smiled again and clutched Prince Vasili's arm more tightly. "Listen to me, Prince," said she. "I have never yet asked you for anything and I never will again, nor have I ever reminded you of my father's friendship for you; but now I entreat you for God's sake to do this for my son--and I shall always regard you as a benefactor," she added hurriedly. "No, don't be angry, but promise! I have asked Golitsyn and he has refused. Be the kindhearted man you always were," she said, trying to smile though tears were in her eyes. "Papa, we shall be late," said Princess Helene, turning her beautiful head and looking over her classically molded shoulder as she stood waiting by the door. Influence in society, however, is a capital which has to be economized if it is to last. Prince Vasili knew this, and having once realized that if he asked on behalf of all who begged of him, he would soon be unable to ask for himself, he became chary of using his influence. But in Princess Drubetskaya's case he felt, after her second appeal, something like qualms of conscience. She had reminded him of what was quite true; he had been indebted to her father for the first steps in his career. Moreover, he could see by her manners that she was one of those women--mostly mothers--who, having once made up their minds, will not rest until they have gained their end, and are prepared if necessary to go on insisting day after day and hour after hour, and even to make scenes. This last consideration moved him. "My dear Anna Mikhaylovna," said he with his usual familiarity and weariness of tone, "it is almost impossible for me to do what you ask; but to prove my devotion to you and how I respect your father's memory, I will do the impossible--your son shall be transferred to the Guards. Here is my hand on it. Are you satisfied?" "My dear benefactor! This is what I expected from you--I knew your kindness!" He turned to go. "Wait--just a word! When he has been transferred to the Guards..." she faltered. "You are on good terms with Michael Ilarionovich Kutuzov... recommend Boris to him as adjutant! Then I shall be at rest, and then..." Prince Vasili smiled. "No, I won't promise that. You don't know how Kutuzov is pestered since his appointment as Commander in Chief. He told me himself that all the Moscow ladies have conspired to give him all their sons as adjutants." "No, but do promise! I won't let you go! My dear benefactor..." "Papa," said his beautiful daughter in the same tone as before, "we shall be late." "Well, au revoir! Good-by! You hear her?" "Then tomorrow you will speak to the Emperor?" "Certainly; but about Kutuzov, I don't promise." "Do promise, do promise, Vasili!" cried Anna Mikhaylovna as he went, with the smile of a coquettish girl, which at one time probably came naturally to her, but was now very ill-suited to her careworn face. Apparently she had forgotten her age and by force of habit employed all the old feminine arts. But as soon as the prince had gone her face resumed its former cold, artificial expression. She returned to the group where the vicomte was still talking, and again pretended to listen, while waiting till it would be time to leave. Her task was accomplished. CHAPTER V "And what do you think of this latest comedy, the coronation at Milan?" asked Anna Pavlovna, "and of the comedy of the people of Genoa and Lucca laying their petitions before Monsieur Buonaparte, and Monsieur Buonaparte sitting on a throne and granting the petitions of the nations? Adorable! It is enough to make one's head whirl! It is as if the whole world had gone crazy." Prince Andrew looked Anna Pavlovna straight in the face with a sarcastic smile. "'Dieu me la donne, gare a qui la touche!' * They say he was very fine when he said that," he remarked, repeating the words in Italian: "'Dio mi l'ha dato. Guai a chi la tocchi!'" * God has given it to me, let him who touches it beware! "I hope this will prove the last drop that will make the glass run over," Anna Pavlovna continued. "The sovereigns will not be able to endure this man who is a menace to everything." "The sovereigns? I do not speak of Russia," said the vicomte, polite but hopeless: "The sovereigns, madame... What have they done for Louis XVII, for the Queen, or for Madame Elizabeth? Nothing!" and he became more animated. "And believe me, they are reaping the reward of their betrayal of the Bourbon cause. The sovereigns! Why, they are sending ambassadors to compliment the usurper." And sighing disdainfully, he again changed his position. Prince Hippolyte, who had been gazing at the vicomte for some time through his lorgnette, suddenly turned completely round toward the little princess, and having asked for a needle began tracing the Conde coat of arms on the table. He explained this to her with as much gravity as if she had asked him to do it. "Baton de gueules, engrele de gueules d'azur--maison Conde," said he. The princess listened, smiling. "If Buonaparte remains on the throne of France a year longer," the vicomte continued, with the air of a man who, in a matter with which he is better acquainted than anyone else, does not listen to others but follows the current of his own thoughts, "things will have gone too far. By intrigues, violence, exile, and executions, French society--I mean good French society--will have been forever destroyed, and then..." He shrugged his shoulders and spread out his hands. Pierre wished to make a remark, for the conversation interested him, but Anna Pavlovna, who had him under observation, interrupted: "The Emperor Alexander," said she, with the melancholy which always accompanied any reference of hers to the Imperial family, "has declared that he will leave it to the French people themselves to choose their own form of government; and I believe that once free from the usurper, the whole nation will certainly throw itself into the arms of its rightful king," she concluded, trying to be amiable to the royalist emigrant. "That is doubtful," said Prince Andrew. "Monsieur le Vicomte quite rightly supposes that matters have already gone too far. I think it will be difficult to return to the old regime." "From what I have heard," said Pierre, blushing and breaking into the conversation, "almost all the aristocracy has already gone over to Bonaparte's side." "It is the Buonapartists who say that," replied the vicomte without looking at Pierre. "At the present time it is difficult to know the real state of French public opinion." "Bonaparte has said so," remarked Prince Andrew with a sarcastic smile. It was evident that he did not like the vicomte and was aiming his remarks at him, though without looking at him. "'I showed them the path to glory, but they did not follow it,'" Prince Andrew continued after a short silence, again quoting Napoleon's words. "'I opened my antechambers and they crowded in.' I do not know how far he was justified in saying so." "Not in the least," replied the vicomte. "After the murder of the duc even the most partial ceased to regard him as a hero. If to some people," he went on, turning to Anna Pavlovna, "he ever was a hero, after the murder of the duc there was one martyr more in heaven and one hero less on earth." Before Anna Pavlovna and the others had time to smile their appreciation of the vicomte's epigram, Pierre again broke into the conversation, and though Anna Pavlovna felt sure he would say something inappropriate, she was unable to stop him. "The execution of the Duc d'Enghien," declared Monsieur Pierre, "was a political necessity, and it seems to me that Napoleon showed greatness of soul by not fearing to take on himself the whole responsibility of that deed." "Dieu! Mon Dieu!" muttered Anna Pavlovna in a terrified whisper. "What, Monsieur Pierre... Do you consider that assassination shows greatness of soul?" said the little princess, smiling and drawing her work nearer to her. "Oh! Oh!" exclaimed several voices. "Capital!" said Prince Hippolyte in English, and began slapping his knee with the palm of his hand. The vicomte merely shrugged his shoulders. Pierre looked solemnly at his audience over his spectacles and continued. "I say so," he continued desperately, "because the Bourbons fled from the Revolution leaving the people to anarchy, and Napoleon alone understood the Revolution and quelled it, and so for the general good, he could not stop short for the sake of one man's life." "Won't you come over to the other table?" suggested Anna Pavlovna. But Pierre continued his speech without heeding her. "No," cried he, becoming more and more eager, "Napoleon is great because he rose superior to the Revolution, suppressed its abuses, preserved all that was good in it--equality of citizenship and freedom of speech and of the press--and only for that reason did he obtain power." "Yes, if having obtained power, without availing himself of it to commit murder he had restored it to the rightful king, I should have called him a great man," remarked the vicomte. "He could not do that. The people only gave him power that he might rid them of the Bourbons and because they saw that he was a great man. The Revolution was a grand thing!" continued Monsieur Pierre, betraying by this desperate and provocative proposition his extreme youth and his wish to express all that was in his mind. "What? Revolution and regicide a grand thing?... Well, after that... But won't you come to this other table?" repeated Anna Pavlovna. "Rousseau's Contrat social," said the vicomte with a tolerant smile. "I am not speaking of regicide, I am speaking about ideas." "Yes: ideas of robbery, murder, and regicide," again interjected an ironical voice. "Those were extremes, no doubt, but they are not what is most important. What is important are the rights of man, emancipation from prejudices, and equality of citizenship, and all these ideas Napoleon has retained in full force." "Liberty and equality," said the vicomte contemptuously, as if at last deciding seriously to prove to this youth how foolish his words were, "high-sounding words which have long been discredited. Who does not love liberty and equality? Even our Saviour preached liberty and equality. Have people since the Revolution become happier? On the contrary. We wanted liberty, but Buonaparte has destroyed it." Prince Andrew kept looking with an amused smile from Pierre to the vicomte and from the vicomte to their hostess. In the first moment of Pierre's outburst Anna Pavlovna, despite her social experience, was horror-struck. But when she saw that Pierre's sacrilegious words had not exasperated the vicomte, and had convinced herself that it was impossible to stop him, she rallied her forces and joined the vicomte in a vigorous attack on the orator. "But, my dear Monsieur Pierre," said she, "how do you explain the fact of a great man executing a duc--or even an ordinary man who--is innocent and untried?" "I should like," said the vicomte, "to ask how monsieur explains the 18th Brumaire; was not that an imposture? It was a swindle, and not at all like the conduct of a great man!" "And the prisoners he killed in Africa? That was horrible!" said the little princess, shrugging her shoulders. "He's a low fellow, say what you will," remarked Prince Hippolyte. Pierre, not knowing whom to answer, looked at them all and smiled. His smile was unlike the half-smile of other people. When he smiled, his grave, even rather gloomy, look was instantaneously replaced by another--a childlike, kindly, even rather silly look, which seemed to ask forgiveness. The vicomte who was meeting him for the first time saw clearly that this young Jacobin was not so terrible as his words suggested. All were silent. "How do you expect him to answer you all at once?" said Prince Andrew. "Besides, in the actions of a statesman one has to distinguish between his acts as a private person, as a general, and as an emperor. So it seems to me." "Yes, yes, of course!" Pierre chimed in, pleased at the arrival of this reinforcement. "One must admit," continued Prince Andrew, "that Napoleon as a man was great on the bridge of Arcola, and in the hospital at Jaffa where he gave his hand to the plague-stricken; but... but there are other acts which it is difficult to justify." Prince Andrew, who had evidently wished to tone down the awkwardness of Pierre's remarks, rose and made a sign to his wife that it was time to go. Suddenly Prince Hippolyte started up making signs to everyone to attend, and asking them all to be seated began: "I was told a charming Moscow story today and must treat you to it. Excuse me, Vicomte--I must tell it in Russian or the point will be lost...." And Prince Hippolyte began to tell his story in such Russian as a Frenchman would speak after spending about a year in Russia. Everyone waited, so emphatically and eagerly did he demand their attention to his story. "There is in Moscow a lady, une dame, and she is very stingy. She must have two
Thursday, December 9th 2010 - 05:07:56 PM
My name is, Peter Akain This is what I have to say: Wont it be wonderful up there in Haven !
Monday, December 6th 2010 - 09:59:00 PM
My name is, Lindsay Joachim My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: You people are THE most self-absorbed, corrupted sad excuse for a church I have ever scene in my life. The hubris I have seen on The Landover Baptist Church website is some of the most blasphemous, childish scum I had hoped I would never see in this world. It is not us (The Lutherans, the Calvinists, The Jewish, The Catholics) who will rot in hell, it's you. Catholicism is not Christianity! I mean, really, how STUPID can you possibly be? I am a proud Catholic Teenager. And I know I'm a sinner. But, that's how man was created; flawed. Always have been, always will be. And honestly, lets just see who will be the ones burning in hell at the end of the day.
Thursday, December 2nd 2010 - 10:50:57 PM
My name is, Funny Rainbows My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: Hi everybody and merry Christmas!
Yes, I am a gay Christian. Might be condradictory for some, but it is lonely sometimes.
Would love other e-penpals to chat with. My email is firstname.lastname@example.org
Also would be more than happy to answer questions to anybody that wants to know how you can be Christian and gay at the same time.
Feel free to send pics and videos too!
In the name of Jesus Christ,
Saturday, October 23rd 2010 - 08:08:14 AM
My name is, Joel Steele My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: you people are assholes
Sunday, July 11th 2010 - 01:56:07 AM
My name is, keijo My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: Thank you God even this day of wisdom and peace with the light and joy of heaven in many thanksgiving and with healing for our woundet souls pain in love and care and word of God,in jeu anme ,thanksd and go anwind be greatly bllessed and be to blessing ,your brother in faith.keijo sweden
Wednesday, June 23rd 2010 - 03:07:51 PM
My name is, Hayden My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://www.freewebs.com/skyscrib2/propecia/drugs-india.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://perso.gratisweb.com/irliq/oxycontin/">oxycontin</a> is about oxycontin... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://ladyweb.virtuale.org/darvocet/darvocet-erowid.html">darvocet erowid</a> is about darvocet erowid... Thank you so much for allowing me the opportunity to visit this site. I actually fit in this category much more than you can know. Go to our site and have fun!
Saturday, May 1st 2010 - 09:40:39 AM
My name is, Adam This is what I have to say: Go die
Thursday, April 22nd 2010 - 06:40:47 PM
My name is, Elizabeth My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://antipatiko.vndv.com/ativan/ativan-bargain.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://dulcisinfundo.virtuale.org/zithromax/azithromycin.html">azithromycin</a> is about azithromycin... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://yedra.itgo.com/nexium/about-nexium.html">about nexium</a> is about about nexium... Hey I found your page while surfing the web, just figured to say nice site! Webmaster of our site
Friday, April 9th 2010 - 05:59:18 AM
My name is, Scott A.B. This is what I have to say: This is a reply to your article
You are sick.
Sick in the head,
and sick in the heart.
Your article about boys playing with dolls is way off.
1st off, I never played with dolls when I was young and never cried or any of that other stuff was usally picked before half the people were picked for a team etc etc. I,m not gay, but neither am I Straight as you would call straight. Nor would I want to be straight like you. To hate people and judge people the way you do.
Now my brother he played with dolls slept with them for years and is completely straight.
You are just a hater. Simply put, you hate. And if you think your doing good, your wrong. And even the bible supports me in this.
It says Bless your enemies. Do good unto them that hate you. Etc.
Before you go casting stones at some poor boy who may be confused or may not be confused take the HUGE MOTE out of your eye.
Thank you, Mr HATER.
God is a god of love, not hate.
God is a god of forgiveness, not evil.
Your actions are both evil and hateful.
Have fun in hell.
Friday, March 5th 2010 - 10:42:21 AM
My name is, Pastor John bishop My e-mail is, Johnbishop@christianity.org I have a page at, http This is what I have to say: thank the lord for landover baptist church finally a chance to show the non believers what they are missing out on
Friday, February 26th 2010 - 04:36:56 AM
My name is, keijo My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: Thank you Lord for that he can heal my eyes and get more of the Holy Spirit to serve the Lord in joyful hearts and passion that win my the Towns to him in gospel and word of God.I will tell to you all very good of news ,The God is pouring of the Holy Spirit on us all with miracles and wonders and save and do greatful deeds in wisdom,thanks and bless and pray,keijo sweden
Wednesday, February 3rd 2010 - 07:32:16 AM
My name is, BrotherShawn My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: Telling kids to take money from there parants to give to yall then tell them to hate there parrants. Lord help your souls this morning. Please please get right with god. This is not of god. not at all and you call your self a church lord please jesus help yall. I will pray yall will take this down and noone will send you no money. Jesus have mercy on your soul
Sunday, December 6th 2009 - 10:27:57 PM
My name is, Noah My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://cosso.9f.com/hydrocodone/norco.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://decio.9f.com/luvox/luvox-cr-side-effects.html">luvox cr side effects</a> is about luvox cr side effects... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://nonstoptaxi.szm.sk/lipitor/">lipitor</a> is about lipitor... Looks like a beautiful facility, I know how rough it can be starting from scratch. Look here our site I have done it twice in my life and if I ever do it again it will be for my own use only, not the publics, but for now it helps to pay the bills.
Sunday, November 1st 2009 - 06:04:42 PM
My name is, Minnie Mouse My e-mail is, Mousetrap@cheese.com This is what I have to say: Landover Baptists, you're raving lunatics.
Thursday, October 29th 2009 - 10:35:54 AM
My name is, DOLAMIKE My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: THIS WEBSITE IS MADE TO MOCK BUT I GREW UP WITH A STEREOTYPICAL EVANGELICAL SOUTHERN BAPTIST ENVIRONMENT AND IT IS SO SAD AND TRUE. PEACE , LOVE AND RATTLESNAKE JUICE.
Saturday, September 5th 2009 - 09:25:35 PM
My name is, Paul Callahan My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: What do you think of the kooks, who are called BIRTHERS? They think Obama is NOT an American.
Sunday, August 23rd 2009 - 09:08:31 AM
My name is, Carol My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://www.galeon.com/jllamoga/cymbalta/cymbalta-dose.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://samadi.hostse.com/lipitor/cheap-pills.html">cheap pills</a> is about cheap pills... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://menuz.20m.com/lasix/heart-attack.html">heart attack</a> is about heart attack... I enjoyed your site very much, I just finished mine yesterday, Please check our site too!
Friday, August 21st 2009 - 10:44:55 PM
My name is, jesus is jewish My e-mail is, jewishgays@christian haters.com I have a page at, http://www.jewishworld.com This is what I have to say: all of you back to the 50s hitler loving fag haters will burn in hell god love everyone and if you ever hit my kid i whould kick you i rather have a slave and kill jews and fag ass you should be put in jail for child abuse you baterd you the christains killed jesus on the cross hes the king of jews not christains a man made religion
Thursday, August 13th 2009 - 06:05:28 AM
My name is, Nathan My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://bottu.xaper.com/zidovudine/zidovudine-pregnancy.html This is what I have to say: Our partners :
<a rel="dofollow" href="http://calaza.jislaaik.com/norvasc/norvasc-5.html">norvasc 5</a> is about norvasc 5... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://edronax.szm.com/xenical/xenical-side-effects.html">xenical side effects</a> is about xenical side effects... Looks like a beautiful facility, I know how rough it can be starting from scratch. Look here our site I have done it twice in my life and if I ever do it again it will be for my own use only, not the publics, but for now it helps to pay the bills.
Wednesday, August 5th 2009 - 02:43:19 AM
My name is, nickademus My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: Funny stuff, but a simple G O O G L E search exposes your real agenda
Friday, July 31st 2009 - 11:56:34 PM
My name is, Tim My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: I cant believe the things my eyes have been forced to read on this blasphemous web site!
"About Us (God's Favorite Church):"
You think god favors YOU because you have a PGA course and a few spas and universities? Over his REAL children?!
I will break down your stubborn pride and make the sky above you like iron and the ground beneath you like bronze.
"A Godly Warning:"
To say that you 'CONDEMN' anyone who doesnt follow the same christian beliefs as you?
Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly.
Only god is the true Righteous Judge, not your heretical ministry!
You charge $300.00 fees for nor dressing like YOU think is proper! once agin who are YOU to judge! NO ONE!
"Please note - If you do not have the same beliefs as we do, you are going to burn in Hell forever. "
Are you kidding me!? Are you *explitive* Kidding me!? Ya know what.... im not even going to bother... a true christian would know that forgiveness and love gets more results than hate and hostility...and all you do is hate. hate the sin, not the sinner... a true christian would try to save those in risk of damnation but no you just condemn, shy away, and avoid the values, that CHIRST JESUS set down himself.
Lord have mercy on your souls, Heretics...
Wednesday, July 22nd 2009 - 02:37:03 PM
My name is, Chaosritter This is what I have to say: http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Jesus
Where is your imaginary friend now?
Tuesday, July 21st 2009 - 02:04:56 AM
My name is, Paxmax My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: Oh! I've been saved!!! Thank goodness!! I've been saved from a dull day! Thank you dears!
Tuesday, June 30th 2009 - 05:15:37 AM
My name is, beki šmeki My e-mail is, jassembabtist This is what I have to say: great side, i have found my way out from hell with its help... thank u so much!
Friday, June 26th 2009 - 10:19:35 AM
My name is, sissyboy This is what I have to say: i am a sissy age 10, with a pencil in mu ass, wearing panties and i love-so u should all die
Tuesday, June 9th 2009 - 10:03:40 PM
My name is, lexi This is what I have to say: What has been said about Wiccans here is completely disgusting and untrue. It made my heart ache.
The email I sent:
I just wanted to say I was shocked when I saw the attacks on Wicca. That has to be the most disgusting, ignorant, and disrespectful thing I have EVER seen. I honestly expect more from followers of God -- aren't you supposed to kind creatures? Oh my, I guess not!
We're not devil worshipers. We don't harm animals or people. Anyone who does is NOT a true Wiccan in any sense, way, or form. You're going after the wrong group of people and throwing around COMPLETELY false accusations.
We don't worship the devil because we don't accept the concept or the devil, or any form of total evil. We don't harm animals because they are sacred to us. We don't harm people because we live by the rule "do what ye will, as long as it harms none." We also live by the rule that, whatever energy we cast out, whether it be negative or positive will come back to us three times stronger. Since we believe that, why would we dare send out negative energy? It would only damage us more than the one we tried to harm. And let me put it this way . . . if we really are all the things you say we are, we'd be more than glad to throw it in your faces. We wouldn't try to hid it.
We also believe that everyone's Path will come to them and we should let it be -- because it is what is right for them. We don't persecute, accuse, or disrespect followers of other religions.
I like your God. He is good and kind. But I do not like your people; they are not good to us, nor are they very kind to us.
We will not continue to be misunderstood and attacked by people that we try to be peaceful with. I guess I'll be seeing you in hell, since I'm "apparently" going there for not following you. You'll be there because you can't treat other the way you would like to be treated -- listen to Jesus and follow his example of kindness, instead of listening to your ego and want for power.
I'm really sorry I had to send this. I try my best to get along with you people, to respect you. But you're being ungrateful of our attempts.
Please watch this video: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1302161519
It will be greatly appreciated if you at least watch the whole thing through. Thank you.
Sunday, May 31st 2009 - 03:37:08 PM
My name is, Lady Alilliaan Corvuscanis Ravenpaw My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: I am a PROUD wiccan and I shall stand TALL. I raise my head and bare my throat to ALL who wish me dead and damned
Friday, May 8th 2009 - 12:39:17 AM
My name is, Seawitch My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://www.seawitchartist.com This is what I have to say: I love the grim humour, will make Pope Rat-slinger gag on his coffee....
Monday, April 20th 2009 - 06:44:21 PM
My name is, Marissa My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: Sissy Boy Caught Playing With Dolls? What kind of a fucked up article is this?
Friday, April 17th 2009 - 04:17:15 AM
My name is, the perfect person. My e-mail is, FUCK YOU ALL! This is what I have to say: THIS SITE IS DISGUSTING! GOD DOES NOT EXIST! AND HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT A MALE IS NOT ALOUD TO BE A ''SISSY'' YOU ARE ALL REALLY SAD PEOPLE! I THINK YOU SHOULD ALL HAVE THE SHIT BEATEN OUT OF YOU, HAVE YOU SPAT ON, TRIPED, TAUNTED, ETC! YOUR ALL A LOAD OF SHIT ON MY SHOE YOU BIBLE BASHERS!
Friday, April 10th 2009 - 04:45:41 PM
My name is, Mira My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: Going along with the joke here, you suck.
But seriously, you're funny.
Sunday, March 1st 2009 - 11:42:40 AM
My name is, desert chick My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: Doing research for A Eng 001A course on Free Speach... It's this group a Joke? No Really... If they are, I think the Mormon Fundamentalists have nothing to worry about. These people are Wacko! I enjoyed readying this trash. Was better than any Porn mag commentary I have read in my reasearch to far. Thanks for the laugh... I guess this is the First Ammendment at work! Enjoy!
Monday, January 26th 2009 - 02:02:45 PM
My name is, Sarla Dicken My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: this sight is very interesting........
Monday, November 24th 2008 - 08:43:46 PM
My name is, Krusher My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://www.blogtalkradio.com/themusicscene This is what I have to say: You people have to be the looniest mother fuckers I've ever heard!! I've heard some goofy ass preachers in my day, but you take the cake Pastor Looney Fred!! I hope the native americans that protest during Thanksgiving time actually get in and stuff a turkey leg up your ass!! Then again you may like it!! Sick ideas from a twisted community!! Feel like I'm wrong?? Come by the website, get the phone number for my show and give us a call!! We would love to hear from you!!
Friday, October 17th 2008 - 11:35:48 PM
My name is, Zach Stroup My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://N/A This is what I have to say: I think you're a comedic genius. This was, and will be a site that I will visit again and again, in order to seek out more laughter. For all you vaginally deprived fucktards out there, who are so pent up, and ready to set someone on fire for making a mockery of organized religion; allowing your emotions overload your logical thought proves to me how stupid and irrational this country has become. Please stop populating the earth, and remember... God hates liberals and pussies...
GOD BLESS THE LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH!!!
VOTE MCCAIN IT'S YOUR CHRISTIAN DUTY !!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, October 11th 2008 - 11:18:07 PM
My name is, IFUCKEDJESUSINTHENECK My e-mail is, NUNYOBIDNESS I have a page at, http://GOFUCKYOSELF.COM This is what I have to say: jesus is a bitch. mary is a hoe. god is my bitch, he bows down to me and begs that i fuck him in the ass w a knife! the only thing the christian religion is good for is keeping me entertained. if jesus came back to life id crucify him and bathe in his blood. i fuck myself w the crucifix and burn down christian churches. god is nothing but a lie, u r all feeble minded for believing in something that isnt true. fuck ur god and fuck ur religion
Friday, August 15th 2008 - 03:30:52 AM
My name is, LOL My e-mail is, yourmum@LAWLZ.com I have a page at, http://stupidgulliblefucks.com This is what I have to say: Haha, honestly people, anyone who ACTUALLY takes this seriously has got to be one DUMB SHIT.
Saturday, July 26th 2008 - 07:00:03 PM
My name is, Felix Losco My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: What a great site! Outstanding!!!!!
Saturday, June 7th 2008 - 10:56:27 AM
My name is, Elizabeth My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://zinon.dzaba.com/xalatan/xalatan-eye-drop.html This is what I have to say: You have a very good webpage here, so best greetings to you and all your visitors. Admin of * <a rel="dofollow" href="http://plina.as.ro/zithromax/vs-zithromax-zmax.html" title="vs zithromax zmax">vs zithromax zmax</a> ... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://falana.ifrance.com/paxil/paxil-result.html" title="paxil result">paxil result</a> ... <a rel="dofollow" href="http://amedes.uw.hu/xanax/g3722-xanax.html" title="g3722 xanax">g3722 xanax</a> ...
Thursday, May 15th 2008 - 05:00:09 PM
My name is, none of your bussiness My e-mail is, none of your bussiness I have a page at, http://you have to be kidding This is what I have to say: what a bunch of wankers!!!!Good Joke though!!!!You idiots need to be reported!!!!!Sicko's..
Thursday, May 1st 2008 - 09:03:04 PM
My name is, not saying My e-mail is, not saying This is what I have to say: WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF WEBSITE IS THIS?????
Sunday, March 23rd 2008 - 08:46:55 AM
My name is, The Real Jesus My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: Im the real BLACK Jesus and you guys are doing it wrong
Friday, March 7th 2008 - 10:29:37 AM
My name is, David Carr My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: Nice, I was confused for a little bit until it got to the marajuana overdose, and the laughter hit me. Well done, I was ready to use this as a source for my paper too, but i'll have to find another hell house website.
Wednesday, February 13th 2008 - 11:29:58 PM
My name is, Society-X My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: We have reported your "sissy boy" article to the police to place you under observation for child abuse. We will also be meeting with members of the child protective services.
Friday, February 8th 2008 - 06:43:36 AM
My name is, Fuck Off My e-mail is, ihateuall.@hotmail.com I have a page at, http://dontpushyourshitonme.com This is what I have to say: I was reading some of this shit on this site, and fucking seriously, you are everything that is wrong with religion. You have blown everything out of proportion, and are the antichrist to what you preach. I may be wierd, but you guys are fucked up. You need to fucking die, and I hate you all. You can not save anyone who does not believe. What makes you different then the mother fuckers that conducted 9/11. NOTHING!!! I have gone there, and fought them for the so called GOD you fucking believe in. There is no difference between your narrow ass minds and the narrow ass minded blind fucking Muslims.There is no such thing as seperation of Church and State today either. I hope you all fucking WAKE THE FUCK UP. People are always going to be people and your religion and beliefs are not valid today. They will DIE just like you. Granted I support and dfend everyones right to practice what they beleive in. I am not a Satinist, I am not an Athiest. I believe in the fallen. How can you call your self Christian when you defy a little boy who does not know any better, And why do your priests fuck little boys? HONESTLY, CAN YOU FUCKING EXPLAIN THAT TO ME. FUCK OFF ALL OF YOU< DO NOT PUSH YOUR SHIT ON THE WORLD> YOU ARE THE REASON WARS START. FUCK OFF!!!
Friday, February 1st 2008 - 06:28:29 PM
My name is, Stephanie My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: Don't worry guys, it's a joke. Read the wikipedia article. It is a parody on fundamentalist christian doctrines. A very funny one.
Chris Harper, you made my day :)
Friday, February 1st 2008 - 03:00:51 PM
My name is, spencer coughlin AKA an evil catholic My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: you fags think you are so cool calling yourselves godly you say you are followers of the bible and all other christians are evil like catholics and lutherans you dont even know the bible well...you say that you are godly when you insult and bash people and you support sex outside of marriage you fags are fucking retarded.
Tuesday, January 29th 2008 - 07:26:46 AM
My name is, Lolwut My e-mail is, ???? This is what I have to say: This has to be a troll. It has to. If it's a troll, EPIC WIN. If it's not... I don't even want to think about it.
Thursday, January 24th 2008 - 11:12:17 PM
My name is, None of Your Damn Business My e-mail is, None of Your Damn Business I have a page at, http://Don't, Have One.com This is what I have to say: I hope this site was fake... It sure a hell is funny if it is! I am a Christian/Agnostic...but honestly the bible does say such things, it devalues women, promotes concubines, and slavery (at least the Old Testament does)I think that no religion has all the answers...but rather each religion/philsophy has a little bit of the truth in it... just be true to who you are and what you believe and become on overall good person doing what you see fit... whether Christian, Jewish or of any other sect
Wednesday, November 28th 2007 - 04:43:17 PM
My name is, ellen My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: i just looked this church website on wikipedia. take a look for yourselves.
Monday, November 26th 2007 - 10:23:22 AM
My name is, Christ Lover My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: Is this what Christ would do? What happened to love your neighbor as yourself?
Sunday, November 18th 2007 - 11:04:55 PM
My name is, Patrick This is what I have to say: I think it's sad that people think that you are making evuk stuff up about the bible. What bible are they reading from?
Saturday, November 10th 2007 - 05:00:39 PM
My name is, dr satan I have a page at, http://dkchan.org This is what I have to say: this is great lulz thx for making xD
Friday, November 9th 2007 - 04:25:32 AM
My name is, c skolik My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: jush loved the site, a voice of reason in the drag of insanity
Friday, October 12th 2007 - 03:10:33 PM
My name is, Jesus My e-mail is, jesus_is_my_dobberman's_name_the_pidgeon_is_moses_but_jesus_is_watching_you_filthy_thief:))))0 I have a page at, http://wwwwwww.fuk u sukers.com This is what I have to say: hello. please read the following message very carefully. ARE YOU STUPID? you fuking idiot cult u fuking suking idiots talk about sex and masturbation to 10-yo children you ask people to give theyr children to u for 30 years just coz they were born on the 06 06 06.. omg.. the war in middle east.. kill jews..catholics..omg you are a bunch of FUKER and YOU will be the first people to get to heave.. to be PUNISHED! goodbye fukers go suk ur hairy small dicks
Friday, August 24th 2007 - 01:51:33 AM
My name is, HFWO My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: I would like to say that maybe this shit is real because if you google search pastor deacon fred there is a website called religous freaks or w/e and you can hear a video clip of his speech. Now either the speech was fake and shit or these fuckers are really fucked up. I am a atheist but if i was a catholic or whatever i wouldnt be offended because they will be burning in hell not me. I would also like to say does it really fucking matter what religion we just as long as we live as good people. Now im not trying to offend christians when i say this but do u really think just praying to god will do anything i believe that instead of putting all your hopes on god and go and live a good life and be a happy person.
P.S. HIPPIES CONCERTS DONT SOLVE ANYTHING IF YOU JUST SING MAKE A MESSAGE AND DO IT LIKE I DONT KNOW FUCKING PROTEST OR SOME OTHER SHIT
Sunday, July 22nd 2007 - 12:15:03 AM
My name is, Will My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: This website is hilarious. What's even funnier is all of the angry e-mails from people who don't realize that it is a parody. Good job.
Sunday, July 15th 2007 - 10:42:05 PM
My name is, Kenny This is what I have to say: LOVE IT, Thanx for the laugh, and for those that cant laugh need to take a serious look at church history, face it folks the majority of Christians havent been/werent/arent christians. To the Radical Right, this site is how the world truly views you......
Thursday, July 12th 2007 - 01:37:15 PM
My name is, ? This is what I have to say: is this page for real? or is it just a parody of baptism. if you are really this ignorant...i am amazed.
Wednesday, July 4th 2007 - 08:56:21 AM
My name is, Jesus Masturbators My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: Hi there, God bless you!!! This site changed my life! Before your site I used to think about my girlfriend when masturbating, and now all I can think about is my sweet and beautiful saviour Jebus. Praise Jebus! When I told my friend about this site he asked me to lead him to the Lord. We regularly go into my prayer closet and think about Jebus together while masturbating. I have now left my girlfriend who is surely a heathen slut and now spend all my time with my friend Randy and we worship our divine Lord together... staring at his perfect chest on the crusifix in my prayer closet. Praise the Lord! Also we go wiccan hunts and tie them to a crusifix in the back yard and sing hymns and pray for them till they pass out of hunger and dehydration! They are all saved now!!!
Praise Be and Glory to God... and down with that fucker Allah.
Monday, July 2nd 2007 - 03:41:18 PM
My name is, a moral scientist My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: I consider myself a moral person and I am a trained scientist. I read what happens in your "Hell House" and I have to admit that this is without question the most vile, sick and depraved thing I have EVER seen in my life. Seeing this I can see that christianity is the cause of many of the worlds problems. I read a quote from the physicist Steven Weinberg, "Without religion good men will do good things and evil men will do evil things but for good men to do evil things takes religion."
You may or may not be "good" men, but you are doing evil things. I implore you as a moral person, stop this now.
Tuesday, May 22nd 2007 - 06:11:21 PM
My name is, Frank This is what I have to say: It's hilarious to see all these whining little nematodes, bleeting on about Landover Baptist being a "sick parody", and that "real christians" don't believe/preach such nonsense. They've obviously never read the christian websites that seriously preach the same things that Landover so expertly lampoons.
Tuesday, May 22nd 2007 - 06:09:09 PM
My name is, Frank This is what I have to say: It's hilarious to see all these whining little nematodes, bleeting on about Landover Baptist being a "sick parody", and that "real christians" don't believe/preach such nonsense. They've obviously never read the christian websites that seriously preach the same things that Landover so expertly lampoons.
Tuesday, May 15th 2007 - 09:15:08 PM
My name is, VLW This is what I have to say: Your website is DISGUSTING! It is not Christian and it is promoting evil, even if it's meant to be "funny." It's not. There are many things I read on it that have to do with God doing bad things according to His will. Christianity believes that God is Love, so He is only Good. We have free will. Christianity, Jesus, does not use the rules in the Old Testament, His ways are the New Testament. Your website is a horrid joke. You have no concept of the Bible--what the teachings are, what is literal, historical, and/or symbolic. Please educate yourself.
Saturday, May 12th 2007 - 11:37:37 AM
My name is, Adam Lapthorn My e-mail is, Adamlapthorn@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: I think you are all sick, it is distrubibng reading some of these articals!
Saturday, May 5th 2007 - 06:14:29 PM
My name is, Rev. Morgana RedSkye Blsack I have a page at, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Goddess_Gods This is what I have to say: This site is the biggest foulest bucket of LIES I have ever seen, and you should be ashamed to pass judgement on that which you are clearly ignorant on.
Monday, April 16th 2007 - 12:58:53 PM
My name is, Homosexual Heretic My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://www.google.com.cn This is what I have to say: I have homo-erotic dreams involving Jesus and my friend, Tom.
Monday, April 2nd 2007 - 04:42:36 PM
My name is, Jay This is what I have to say: This is a joke right? You should really have a disclaimer page somewhere stating that this is all false, so people don't get all pissy when they read some of this stuff.
Thursday, March 22nd 2007 - 10:19:47 AM
My name is, Kiera My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: I just wanted to comment on how bias and unholy your site really is. I am very sad to see what this world has really come to. The proof is right here at the click of the mouse. I will not put you down, or think that there is no hope for you, but just remember that it is better to be like a pharisee and true, then to be a so called christian and false.
Wednesday, March 21st 2007 - 11:05:24 AM
My name is, Erick Faust This is what I have to say: wonderfull, completely hilarious
Wednesday, January 17th 2007 - 03:23:09 PM
My name is, Sister Karen- And I Must Save Your Soul My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://I am not finished with it Yet! This is what I have to say: Lord, How Long Must This Go ON?! I can't understand, although it states in both Thessalonians 2:3 and in every bible I have ever read, that, in fact, at least, and in Psalms (And that was written by King David - who was a Harp instrumentalist- of the Old Testament) that "Make a Joful Noise unto the Lord..."
where you see infidels and unbelievers of the Word of God, make no mistake about it: Anyone who understands their own backyard (or any blade of grass) and when the sun shines, it is a miracle. Especially in the time we live in And the date is January 17th or 118th depending on where you live on the planet Earth. Glory to God in the Highest. Praise! Praise Praise. Nuff said.
So, let me come at you this way, if you e-mail ME. Beware of The Hissing Cat!
Wednesday, January 17th 2007 - 03:12:46 PM
My name is, Sister Karen - The Most Reverend The Fourth I have a page at, http://trudys.com This is what I have to say: Lord, How Long Must This Go ON?!
Saturday, December 30th 2006 - 04:46:23 PM
My name is, Enthralled This is what I have to say: I find it absolutely appalling, and although there is every chance that this website and all of its contents are fake, do we know that? People like this exist in real life, folks, and their goal is to hate and pillage.
Wednesday, December 13th 2006 - 07:05:36 PM
My name is, Ann Moore My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: God taught us to love our neighbors as we want to be loved. You are a disgrace. talk about burning in hell, I would be concerned for your own soul.
Sunday, December 10th 2006 - 04:18:47 AM
My name is, Gina This is what I have to say: lmfao
Thursday, December 7th 2006 - 02:38:48 PM
My name is, Raoul Lowenbrau My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: I can't believe how many people fall for this website. Don't you all know it's a joke????
PS - The scooby doo article was priceless.
Thursday, December 7th 2006 - 02:22:33 PM
My name is, Monk My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: Fuck You And Your God. You People are so Fucking Blind!
Saturday, December 2nd 2006 - 10:55:49 PM
My name is, M. A. Christophson My e-mail is, Marroyoatfinali@yahoo.fr This is what I have to say: Are you people for real? or is this a prank website? Like one of those "funny ones" out there on the World Wide Web, twisting The Word of My Lord and Only Savior, Jesus Christ.
Some of the text you have on your website has NOTHING to do with being a True Christian, which is what makes me doubt if you are a joke or your own "real thing"
If you are "real", you folks are scary, I am glad I am not where you are. But, still I am not the one to judge you.
I hope God All-Mighty will shed some light on the right path so you can shift and follow along.
Thursday, November 30th 2006 - 10:28:31 PM
My name is, Bob My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: I get a good laugh at the people who talk about Jesus' love. Apparently, they haven't read the entire Bible.
Wednesday, November 29th 2006 - 07:42:16 PM
My name is, Asa Allen My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: You people are the hand of the devil. Your ignorance is apauling. Your beliefs are assbackwards and frankly quite ridiculous, almost hilarious. Are you so blind as not to see that your un-educated followers would place your particular organization into cult status? Honestly thoung your whole following deserves a severe beating for 1. accepting your doctrines so willingly 2. for placing their faith in preachers who have to inspect people underwear for some unknown reason. If you ask my it sounds like you folks are sick twisted souls who know not the true meaning of the lords words.
Tuesday, October 31st 2006 - 06:15:43 AM
My name is, Lucille Lee My e-mail is, Lucille.Lee@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: This is one fucked up site and it should burn just like the people that made it. Thank you for your bullshit insight of things.
Saturday, October 28th 2006 - 03:48:45 PM
My name is, Sarah This is what I have to say: You people are fucking crazy and out of your minds. you are all horrible people. and if there is a god you are going to hell. saying god hates homosexuals is such an uneducated thing to say. if god made everyone on this earth he made the homosexuals. and he loves everyone on the earthe who hasent sinned or who has and has asked for forgiveness. god made the homosexuals homosexual. they did not choose it.
go get an education and a soul.
Tuesday, October 24th 2006 - 07:16:01 PM
My name is, Celina My e-mail is, CelinaO@yahoo.com This is what I have to say: Everyone knows that baptists are the Devil's excrement. Twelve yaers of Catholic school taught me that. Abortions should be mandatory for every backseat-conceived bastard baptist. I'd rather have an AIDS-afflicted Muslim anally rape me than eat a gourmet meal with a fuckin' baptist.
Monday, October 16th 2006 - 07:25:37 PM
My name is, FAITH My e-mail is, SUMMERFUNGIRLS@AOL.COM This is what I have to say: MY CHILDREN AND I LOVE THE LORD, HOWEVER YOUR SITE AND THE PEOPLE WHO THINK LIKE YOU IS THE REASON PEOPLE TURN FROM GOD. YOU SPEW HATE AND USE THE BIBLE FOR YOUR OWN SICK AGENDA.
NOTHING IS WRONG WITH THE TRUTH, BUT YOU TWIST IT AND MAKE UP LIES.
GOD LOVES EVERYONE NO MATTER WHAT, EVEN IF THEY DON'T EXCEPT HIM.
HE EVEN LOVES THE SICK PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO PUT UP THIS SINFULL SITE. ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE.
US AS HUMANS~~~PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN HOME OF GLASS SHOULD NOT THROW STONES.
THIS SITE IS FULL OF GLASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, October 15th 2006 - 06:09:06 AM
My name is, LeXa My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://twin-yang-ying.blogspot.com/ This is what I have to say: Wow! <a href="http://dutty-wine.gainings.biz">Dutty wine</a>
Saturday, October 14th 2006 - 06:17:41 AM
My name is, M Grzesiek This is what I have to say: Is it just me or is everyone just about sick of Christians who are no better than the sinners in this world. After reading your website, I would NEVER EVER attend a church so far off based from what the bible teaches. Your depiction of a Jewish doctor is your Hell House has me the utmost disturbed. The Lord said that he would bless those who bless the Jews and curse those who curse them. I would be very careful in your judgement upon these people seeing that they are Gods chosen. I was also offended by the comment of children being turned by "negro" music. Are you that ignorant that you don't realize that it isn't just "negro" music but that all secular music has the same affect of impressionable youth as rap. Come on, you can be that dumb. I'm wondering if you allow African-Americans into your congregation? The faster you realize that Heaven will be a diverse city, the better off you'll be. Let me just close by saying that although God is a God of wrath, he is also a God of love. As christians we should be reaching out to the unsaved in love and not using scare tactics. If you look at the statistics most people who are "scared" into a relationship with Jesus usually end up losing their faith very quickly. Jesus is coming very soon and I would hate to see one soul lost because they didn't see the real Jesus, only the one used to "get their financial support to a church." Hopefully you prayed before opening this Hell House and let the Holy Spirit guide you in what you should be doing.
Tuesday, October 10th 2006 - 09:36:44 AM
My name is, Bradley McDonald My e-mail is, Sheandkev2006@aol.com I have a page at, http://www.myspace.com/brad_the_gay_one This is what I have to say: Glory! Glory glory hallaylluya. This is the most gloryful sight...yeah right.
Sunday, October 1st 2006 - 05:12:57 PM
My name is, Pervis T. Hoftebrig III My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: Excellent. Brilliant. Outstanding satire.
Wednesday, September 27th 2006 - 04:57:45 PM
My name is, Dudeeemadudbomb My e-mail is, Imhungry@hotmail.com This is what I have to say: What a disgusting site.
Saturday, September 23rd 2006 - 11:40:01 AM
My name is, sam My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: wow, your ministry is amazing
Wednesday, September 20th 2006 - 08:17:52 PM
My name is, Macy This is what I have to say: Jesus loves EVERYBODY even though they might not love him back.
Monday, September 4th 2006 - 12:37:52 AM
My name is, THE holier than thou, wtf is up with someone else with my name?! This is what I have to say: I go to this site religiously because the plants tells me to. The plants talk to me. they says "kill! Kill! more kill! Satan comes!" So I tell my grandkids and my niece that Jesus watches them go pee pee, and she then asks me when can she get laid. haha praise the lord for this site. I hereby banish Unsaved to hell!
Sunday, August 27th 2006 - 10:47:40 AM
My name is, Nanci. This is what I have to say: Hell House is disgusting.
You cannot scare someone into following religion.
It takes one very sick, sick person to think up an idea like that.
You are the ones that should be in Hell, not people who havent yet accepted Christ fully into their lives.
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Friday, August 25th 2006 - 06:44:01 PM
My name is, Twilight of the False Gods My e-mail is, twiNOSPAMlight@thefalsegods.com I have a page at, http://www.thefalsegods.com This is what I have to say:
Praise Satan! Come listen to my podcast instead, where I can corrupt you with dark ambient and EBM music, as listened to by perverts and satanists, and play sermons from Pastor Fred Phelps over music by Satan worshippers!
Friday, August 25th 2006 - 12:48:07 PM
My name is, Gerald Melvin Goldberg (1-516) 232-4229 My e-mail is, JooFr069XXX420@Yahoo.com This is what I have to say: Im a Jew! Does Jesus love me as well?
I've killed before, and i'll kill him again!
and by him, I mean Jebus.
Burn on a cross!
Just like da KKK.
Monday, August 21st 2006 - 04:26:41 AM
My name is, Alex My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: I gave myself to Jesus, but he never called me back...it sucks too cuz the fucker made me cum three times :D
Monday, August 14th 2006 - 03:38:45 PM
My name is, holier than that of this church My e-mail is, none of your concern I have a page at, http://www.the-exorcist.co.uk/articles/exorfce2.jpg This is what I have to say: After just seeing the <i>unsaved are not welcome</i> I fell off my chair and started ROFLing. I clicked on a link to the <b>Pokemon? Poke yourself, Satan!</b> article, and read what would change my life...
I told my mom that this church tells me that I'm a Satanist, and she was furious and scolded me for saying such nonsense. Now I'm a Satanist because I don't want to be "on the same side" as this church who THINKS that they are holier than thou. I do not WORSHIP Satan, I merely look up to him. As a Satanist, I simply put my own desires as the most importance of my life. On April 16th 2006, I have burnt my first Bible, and since I have been disowned and ostracized from my family for reading things on this site to determine that I'm not a real Christian but a Soldier of Satan, I'm now free to blame my problems on this website.
What Started as a simple joke to my mom got serious, and now I'm: a Democrat, support Stem Cell Research & Same Sex Marriage, distribute stolen Harry Potter books to new readers, collect tarot cards & ouija boards, practise my psychic abilities & tell people to (Call Me Now, Child!), and take part in other <i>"non-Christian"</i> activities like Support Jews, and killing babies(the unborn fetuses for stem cell research)
AND ALL THANKS TO READING THIS SITE. If I was still Christian, I would say "PRAISE THE LAWD" right now
Thursday, August 10th 2006 - 10:22:56 AM
My name is, cryms0n This is what I have to say: Pokemon are the devil? LMAO
you guys seriously need to hurry up with the kool-aid suicide trick, you are brainwashed and pathetic
Friday, July 21st 2006 - 12:32:38 PM
My name is, charles My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://groups.msn.com/occultandparanormal/_whatsnew.msnw This is what I have to say: If this site is for real - wow - I am glad I am not part of your organisation or hold your beliefs.
Friday, July 21st 2006 - 11:42:38 AM
My name is, Nick My e-mail is, none I have a page at, http://none This is what I have to say: "My name is, Joey Utley
My e-mail is, Joeyutley@hotmail.com
This is what I have to say: This site is mostlikely fake, and i pray it is, but to thoose of you who are thinking we christians are idiots for being insulted by this.
This site goes agianst everything we represent, and even though most realize that its fake, the some people that do belive this site could be permantly turned away from Christ forever, i don't expect non-christians to understand that, but it is verrryyy insulting to us non-christians.
I pray somehow that this site is shutdown, it has no reason to exist."
That's why it's funny dolt. :P
Friday, July 21st 2006 - 11:38:12 AM
My name is, Nick My e-mail is, none I have a page at, http://none This is what I have to say: I love this site. Whenever Christians make me angry, I always come here and have a nice laugh. Keep it up guys. One day I might just buy one of those Jesus thongs. :P
Thursday, July 20th 2006 - 04:14:53 PM
My name is, jake This is what I have to say: well theres my thoughts lol o yeah funny sight by the way you deserve a medel
Thursday, July 20th 2006 - 04:11:00 PM
My name is, jake This is what I have to say: ive allways wonderd why people believe in god then i realised that it is because you are all sad and need to justify your existence by believe in some "allmighty power" i have 1 word to disporve your god therory in teh words of the great comedian bill hicks dinosaurs
religion causes most of the wars in history because they all say mines better than yours which is funny basicly all go and die prefrably
Tuesday, July 18th 2006 - 04:30:52 PM
My name is, Mandie This is what I have to say: id just like to let you know that pokemon is not ppocket demons its poket monsters and by batteling your pokemon you learn the impotence of team work its kind of like saying that by everyone working together and useing there own unique abilitys everyone can be happy and safe and can over come any evil in there lifes. just thought u should know
p.s. sorry about the spelling errors
Friday, July 14th 2006 - 04:12:57 PM
My name is, Jesus Mama This is what I have to say: I have a problem that I hope you all can help me with. I think a coworker of mine has demons in her colon. Whenever I come within a 6 foot proximity of her cubicle, I'm overwhelmed by the smell of SULPHUR (AKA, Satan's little calling card). I've tried to discreetly let her know what's going on (by playing Father Decon Fred's sermon at full blast on my computer, leaving copies of the sermon on her keyboard, and I once even logged on to her computer and pulled up the page with the sermon and bookmarked it), but still the smell of brimstone eminates ominously from her.
Is there anything more drastic that I can do? Is there any way I could give her a Jesus enema without her knowing it? Do you sell them? Also, is it possible that the demons are escaping and running around the office wreaking havoc on our souls? Can they touch me if I'm saved?
Also, the other day I smelled sulphur after my (saved) husband left the bathroom having done nature's necessity. Is it possible that some demons hijacked their way into my home through me and infected my husband?
Friday, July 14th 2006 - 11:13:41 AM
My name is, hannah bannana hamick! This is what I have to say: At first i thought it was real but then i went to the kids sight and the hole how to tell gay boys and does god watch me go poopy kinda told me!!!!!! >>>>>>>>>>>or mabe it is a real realigon > the one i belong to hehhehehehhehehhehehehe
we warshope the bannana hamicks!!
Thursday, July 13th 2006 - 09:45:58 PM
My name is, Susy My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: Hey--when are you going to come up with more audio files? I want to blast them out of huge speakers as I drive down "church lane" (a street in my town that has literally about 6 different Christian churches on it) at high noon this Sunday!
Great work here!
Thursday, July 13th 2006 - 07:23:36 PM
My name is, Peter Pan is not my man This is what I have to say: Is this site making fun of Baptists?
Thursday, July 13th 2006 - 07:20:55 PM
My name is, Jesus is Love This is what I have to say: Hello.
I am a Christian who loves Jesus.
I am going through your site. I am not offended. I find some stuff actually humorous.
It is sad that so many Christians out there threaten people and act well...like jerks.
I know Jesus isn't that way. I will do what I can not to be that way also.
I hope you have a good night or day or whatever it is where you are.
I think that some of the things are on their out of not just humor but well the way some Christians act.
It is hard to believe Jesus is loving, kind, patient, and wants people to be saved if all the lost ever hear is stuff like.
"BURN IN HELL WICKED SCUMS!"
"JESUS HATES YOU! GAY FAG!"
"THE LORD SAYS TO ME, DIE SCUMS OF THE DEVIL!"
"YOU ARE CHILDREN OF SATAN!"
and we must not forget...
"F YOU IN THE NAME OF THE LORD!"
Man if I heard that stuff and wasnt a Christian, I wouldnt want to know this Jesus. I be thinking....What the? Why would I want to know someone whose followers act like that?
Actually Jesus isn't like any of that baloney. He is loving and kind and He does want everyone to be saved.
However, no Christian can force people to be saved. It won't happen.
Some Churches are so stuck up they won't include anyone that's not holy enough for them. Jesus hung out with the worst of the world and He still wants to.
Pharisee Christians make Jesus sick.
Christ is forgiving
Two different Christs are being shown.
One is the EVIL NAUGHTY CHRIST: He is the One who wants to fry everyone's buns in the Lake of Fire while He laughs His Head off. Ba ha ha ha ha!
The other is the LOVING FORGIVING CHRIST: He is the One who wants people to be saved and not perish.
Perhaps this site was made because you came across Christians who well...drove you up the wall.
Maybe they said...
"YOU ARE GOING TO HELL YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP!"
"THE LORD IS MAD AT YOU! HE HATES YOU!"
"REPENT NOW SCUM!"
Well thing though is that Jesus is loving and would never talk that way. Jesus does not see anyone as a piece of crap. He wants none to go to Hell. He is patient and loving and slow to anger. He hates none.
Yes all are to repent. That is turn from sin and turn to doing right.
However, no one will repent if they are called scums, evil fiends, children of the devil, and hear that God hates them wicked scums, etc.
Better luck showing them the love of Christ than the scum version.
The Love version: Jesus loves you. No matter what you say or think or do. No matter how many times you say I hate Jesus or blaspheme Him, He STILL loves you. He is waiting with open arms and will taken the burdens and pain away. He wants to save your life.
The Scum version: Jesus hates your guts. He wants you to go to Hell. Go ahead and curse Him scum bag and He will fry your beep beep beep! SINNER SCUM!
Jesus is not like the Scum version at all.
Too many Christians give Jesus a bad rap.
Far as I'm concerned the lost are INNOCENT.
What do I mean?
Well, the lost are innocent because how can they believe Jesus is loving and patient and wants to save them and is forgiving if all they hear are CONDEMNATION, HATRED, and so forth?
I mean really would any of us want to come to Jesus if all we heard were....
"THE LORD HATES YOU!"
"YOU GAY FAG! YOU SHALL BURN IN THE FIRES OF HELL!"
"YOU FING IDIOT! THOU SUCKEST! JESUS CURSE THEE!"
"IF YOU DON'T TITHE, YOU WILL GO TO HELL!"
"TBN NEEDS YOUR MONEY! GIVE OR DIE SINNER SCUM!"
"REPENT OR BURN WICKED SINNER!"
and of course....
"IF YOU DONT ASK JESUS INTO YOUR LIFE, THEN YOU ARE A FAT MORONIC IDIOT!"
Man, I wouldnt.
So I mean if I put on my YOU ARE PICKING ON JESUS! glasses, then it would offend me.
However, I have on my TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE OTHER SIDE GLASSES. So I am not offended.
I rather feel compassion and mercy. Someone must of hurt you so deeply and that hurts me. I pray the Lord heals you of this pain.
So I am not angry. I am not going to say go to hell in Jesus Name or none of that.
No, I say God bless you and keep you and cause His face to shine upon You. May Jesus draw you near Him and show you what He is really like.
I can see where the man who kills the children and then goes to Heaven cause he repented or whatever. It seems like that is taught amongst Christians. That Christians can live like jerks and wicked scums and still go to Heaven. Actually that isnt true. Christians are to live holy and obedient to Jesus to go to Heaven. Hebrews 5:9.
Far as a man doing sins like that and repenting upon death and being saved. That all depends on his heart. If he meant it, yes. If he just said it, then no. God isnt some idiot.
It is hard to understand why a criminal would go to Heaven cause they sincerely repented and a good person died and perished only cause they didnt. Well, save is no one is good. In our book yes there are good and bad people. But reality is none of us is good. If we compare ourselves to God who is perfect and holy and sinless, then none of us fit the shirt.
There many things on this site that are false and not true of the Lord and I say the Lord forgive you and have mercy because Satan has taken hold.
On the outside now you might be laughing and thinking I am some type of a nutcase Christian.
But on the inside is a lost soul in the midst of the blackest darkness trapped by Satan crying for mercy, peace, love, and help.
Jesus will answer you and show you mercy and heal you and forgive you. He wont condemn you or say, "Buster you posted lies about Me! Go away!"
He wants you to come to Him and be saved. He LOVES YOU SO VERY MUCH and NOTHING can take that away. You can say F Jesus and Screw You God and Holy SH all you like, but Jesus STILL LOVES THE LIVING DAY LIGHTS OUT OF YOU.
You may mean this as a serious website, but Jesus still LOVES YOU.
Jesus loves you and no matter what you have done or said or thought, He will forgive you and give you peace and change your life for the better.
Far as Jesus and money goes.
Jesus was poor. He never told His disciples to whine and cry for money.
In fact in II Peter 2 3And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.
The Bible speaks against greedy preachers who use fancy words to get money from people to use for their own greedy gain.
You know the ones that say...
"THE LORD HAS TOLD ME! OH HALLELUJAH! OH GLORY! GIVE ME NOW OH HALLELUJAH! GLORY GLORY GLORY! GIVE ME NOW $5,000,000,000,000! AND I WILL BLESS YOU! YESA! YESA! HALLELUJAH!"
Actually the Lord didnt say that. The preacher is just greedy and cares about money more than the Lord.
"THE LORD JESUS SAYS IF YOU DO NOT GIVE ME $$$$$$$$$ NOW, THEN YOU WILL GO BALD AND WALK NAKED THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE PUT TO SHAME AND YOU WILL STARVE!"
"SEE THOSE LITTLE ONES? HOW THEY SUFFER? PLEASE, OH PLEASE, WON'T YOU GIVE JUST $1...Maybe $50....Maybe you can spare $5,000? OH FOR THE LITTLE ONES! OH THE STARVING CHILDREN! OH! OHHHHH!"
Actually what they mean is....I am a fat greedy hypocritical slob who hates Jesus and loves money and I dont give a peanut about children I only care about my fat greedy hiney.
Yes I am a Christian for those who are wondering.
Far as Psalm 137 the one about dashing children.
If you look at the context or the whole chapter, it is actually Jews talking.
The Jews were being taken captive to Babylon because of the Jew's constant sinning. The Babylon's were acting like jerks and treating their own horribly. The words of Happy shall he be that dasheth thy little ones against a stone is not God giving a command to do that. That is coming from hurting Jew(s) who have been hurt by the Babylonians. They are saying in other words, "I can't wait for the day when you get what you deserve! When you get paid back for what you did to us!"
No where does God command it. It is coming from the broken and hurting hearts of the Jewish.
Far as spanking children. The Bible actually does not teach spanking. The rod does not mean a literal rod that beats the living poo out of kids. It actually means to train kids in the way they should go...not beat them into the way they should go.
For instance, if little Tristan runs out in the road, some would take him and spank him and scream dont do that!
They will claim the Bible commands this.
Actually it does not.
What the Bible means is to do this instead...
Tristan runs out to get his ball. Mom or dad grabs his hand. They look him in the eye and tell him he could get hurt if he does that and then they tell him to ask an adult for help next time.
The rod refers to discipline or teaching.
Punishment is likened to beating the poo out of our kids to instill terror into them. They just learn how to be good when ma n pa is around otherwise they bad.
Discipline teaches them how to be good and shows them the way.
So spanking is NOT biblical.
Dancing is actually not wrong. David danced and so did Miriam and others
Although some dancing is kinda scary.
True Christians act like Jesus.
Sadly many claim to be but arent.
Jesus loves everyone. He suffered and died on the cross and shed His Blood and rose from the dead to save us. If He hated us, He never would have done that.
I dont want to see anyone burn in Hell and neither does the Lord.
Jesus wont sling little ones into Hell for celebrating halloween. It is not their fault they are innocent.
Far as Jesus saying hate family. That doesnt mean literally hate their guts. What He means is that we are to put Jesus first and be willing to go all the way with Him. That if our family says Dont do this for Jesus or dont you dare give your life to Jesus, that we do it anyway. We still are to love our families and stuff because if we provide not forour families we are WORSE than an infidel.
Seems like most of the site is making fun of Baptists.
Thursday, July 13th 2006 - 07:19:15 PM
My name is, Jesus is Love This is what I have to say: Jesus loves you all very much. No matter what you say or do or think. He loves you.
Wednesday, July 12th 2006 - 10:57:46 PM
My name is, PHOEBE My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: hello
i thought this sight was for real for a whole two days
i was freaking out
i thought i must of stumbled across some crazy cults private web site
but i did some research and reliesed it is just a joke
Wednesday, July 5th 2006 - 09:59:23 PM
My name is, Mike This is what I have to say: found a site for you guys: http://evolution.berkeley.edu/
Wednesday, July 5th 2006 - 09:43:15 PM
My name is, Bill Cosby My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://billcosbypokemon.ytmnd.com/ This is what I have to say: pokiemon?!? with the poke and the mon and the thing where the guy comes out of the thing, and he makes a fraaagh fr fra aagh aagh aagh!
Sunday, July 2nd 2006 - 11:09:08 PM
My name is, What is you problem? My e-mail is, Youneedtoquityourjobs@youhaveknowidea.stupid This is what I have to say: I am a Christian Male Living in the united states of america.. of Baptist beliefs as well and all i have to ask is WHAT BIBLE DID YOU READ FROM? Are you people racists? or something? then what the heck is wrong with you?! calling kids who love pokemon "little satanists" just because you dont understand everything about something doesnt mean it is evil or doesnt come from God. I mean come on, the late Pope John Paul II even stated Pokemon is a wonderful thing teaching kids important life skills such as building friends, having DREAMS, and most of all BELIEVING IN THEMSELVES. i dont know if you are a load of racists, or just get your life-giving water from a sewer. but whatever your issue is, PULL YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR REAR-ENDS! oh and in closing this might make you feel right at home:
WHITE POWER!!!!!! KKK
you people are sick.. i hope Christ does one day come back and save all the people youve fed this sack of mud you call a ministry to...
God rest their souls.. and as for yours beg for forgivness
Saturday, June 24th 2006 - 03:12:01 PM
My name is, Summer My e-mail is, email@example.com This is what I have to say: Whoever takes this site seriously needs to pull their bible out of their ass and get real.
Even if you are a Christian you have to agree that seeing something from all sides is the best way. Yes, this site is a crude way of doing that, but if we don't question things and seek out knowledge then what's the point in living?
God forbid you actually laugh at your imperfections because it's so much easier to take everything seriously, get mad, and shuffle through the bible for some finger pointing exercises.
Oh and don't forget to write a nasty letter because that's exactly what Jesus would do!
Tuesday, June 13th 2006 - 07:31:34 AM
My name is, Jake This is what I have to say: This is the best and funniest website on the internet. Well done you crazy demons.
Thursday, June 8th 2006 - 09:31:33 AM
My name is, Tiffany My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://www.myspace.com/crazytiffy This is what I have to say: Honestly.. that thing about pokemon don't make since. One thing so a little kid summon a pokemon pillow. If you become Obesses with it,then it's bad. it's not worst the Yu-Gi-Oh. I am a Christian. Also you said unChristians SINNERS can't see anything wrong with it, then why did NOT my pasters didNOT say anything about it? I mean, yes I like pokemon. But you offended me and my family. Cause (since I live with my grandparent) saw NOTHING wrong as long you didn't believe it's real. We are Christians and yet you say christians can see what's wrong with them?
Well, you can email sometime if you what to say sumthing to what I said.
Monday, June 5th 2006 - 05:05:32 PM
My name is, Thief of Dreams My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://www.buyaclue.com This is what I have to say: I find it hard to believe that anyone could truly be this ignorant and take the word of god and twist it in such a fashion as you have. Congrats, Hitler would have been proud...
Monday, June 5th 2006 - 12:07:05 PM
My name is, james huntley My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org I have a page at, http://www.softmints.net This is what I have to say: HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SATAN
i'm converted! good job guys, i'll be out on the streets tonight whacking the heathens with my iron cross!
Saturday, June 3rd 2006 - 06:40:46 PM
My name is, Bryan My e-mail is, email@example.com I have a page at, http://yourfuckingstupid.com This is what I have to say: ur fucking stpuid, whoever the owner of this site is, your the dumbest sum bitch ever..... funny how u consider yourself christian...
Wednesday, May 31st 2006 - 01:58:30 PM
My name is, TB My e-mail is, firstname.lastname@example.org This is what I have to say: Holy sheeit!This parody site is amazing.Always.And I thought it was real until 3 years ago,it is THAT realistic.
[ Sign my Dreambook | Back to The Landover Baptist Church Guestbook ]
brought to you by
DreamHost Web Hosting