O.K. Contest time!
Come up with ideas that I can use to soup this thing up.
Keep in mind I'm a grade A certified cheep skate.
Who ever comes up with the most appealing idea that I can pull off will win....

By all means! Please do! That makes it so-o-o-o-o-o much easier on us! Neither John nor I would rather re-type something if it can be sent to us electronically and 90% of the work is done for us! I work full time (usually more), and John, though he is semi-retired at this time, is kept pretty busy. He's the one that does most of the news letter and flyer work. I do the web page (at this time - I'm teaching him a little at a time.)

I probably should state here, that no matter how anything comes in, it is still subject to the approval of voting officers. As it should be, after all, most reasonable publications have their editors, and yours truly doesn't want that position!

Space can be a factor in how it appears in the news letter. We are, after all, still subject to cost of snail-mail postage to get them out to our membership.

Articles are defined as information sharing prose... such as "How to get the best shine" or "Travel tips for cruises" and such like that there.

Columns are regularly featured contributions such as "Prez Says" or Joker's column. (If anyone wants to add humor, cartoons, or any little bit of fun, it will be slipped in some how!!!)

Advertising consists of asking for something, be it trade, contributions for any cause other than our main cause (Being Children's Miracle Network), or for orders for club T-shirts.

Thank-you for the offer!
Kate Ackerly
magpie@ionet.net

HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM:

· One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago

· One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York

· One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston

· One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: California. With gun in lap: L.A.

· Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

· Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy

· One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle

· One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male

· One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas country male

· One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: Texas female

· Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another's car: Colorado

· One hand on steering wheel, yelling obscenities, the other hand waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful eye out for landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back and pick up any bullets that didn't hit other motorists so as not to litter: Colorado resident on spotting a car with Texas plate.

· Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia male.

· Junker, driven by someone who previously had a nice car and who is now wearing a barrel: Las Vegas

· Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida "seasoned citizen" driver, also known as "no-see-um" (or could it be Marge Simpson?)

· Two hands on the wheel, driving forty-five in a seventy mph zone in the left lane, with the left turn signal on, and making a right turn: New Mexico resident (as anyone who has ever driven through this lovely state can attest)