Welcome to Tough and Tender Advice Column, a free advice service from Tough and Tender !If you have a minute, please add your question to those below by signing my column response!
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| Name: | Allyson |
| E-mail address: | allyson@juno.com |
| City: | http://pirron.reunionwatch.com/alprazolam/alprazolam-xr.html |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Ric –
Thank you so much for all of the wonderful advice…I made the changes you suggested and everything worked out great!!! Thank you again – you are the best – truly one in a million!!! If only there were more men like you – the world would be a better place!!! You’re the Greatest!!! |
| Name: | Alma |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | MY FRIEND RIC,
THANKS FOR TELLING ME HUN TO LOOK AT UR SITE.SHOULD OF DONE IT SOONER.THANKS FOR THE ADVICE YOU GIVE ME ALL THE TIME AND FOR BECOMING A GOOD FRIEND IN SUCH A SHORT TIME.I WILL TAKE UR ADVICE AND CHANGE MY PICS TONITE AND LET YA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. THANKS AGAIN RIC AND THANKS FOR BEING MY FRIEND AS WELL.WORLD NEEDS MORE GUYS LIKE YOU. DAWN |
| Name: | DAWN SHIELLS |
| E-mail address: | luvmystorm@hotmail.com |
| City: | StateCalif |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | My friend told me to visit your site because she said its beautiful. She really was telling that truth. Indeed, your site is amazing. Ill surely go visit here again. Keep up the good work! :D |
| Name: | Elizabeth |
| E-mail address: | elizabeth@juno.com |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | You'll most likely have no problem meeting a young Jewish girl but that's about as far as it will go. Be logical. A young Jewish girl or any young girl will be looking for a fairly younger guy to settle down with and have a family. Do you want kids at 73? Most likely not. Go for someone about 50 or over. There are a lot of nice and pretty women at that age that actually take care of themselves.
-Ric |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Do you think a 73 old Jewish atty has any chance of meeting a pretty, young Jewish girl? I'm retired and reside in Phoenix. |
| Name: | Walter L. Eisenberg |
| E-mail address: | Walteisen@webtv.net |
| City: | Phoenix |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Dear Too much togetherness. This is a hard position to be in. Sounds like he's really insecure and on the flip side wants total control of what you do. That's a really unhealthy state to be in. I believe in having my own time and my wife as well. This way we both bring something into the marriage from outside. We both have other experiences to share and if two were together all day, there's nothing new to talk about. He needs to get an outside life, a hobby or anything that he may be interested in. At that point you will also find him to be a more interesting person.
Ric |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Dear Sad...It takes two to row a boat and two to communicate. Sounds like he's shutting you out. It could be for many reasons that he's not letting out. I think you should sit him down face to face and tell him how you feel. Ask him if there is someone else and ask him if he wants out of the marriage. If he does, then there's your answer, if he doesn't then tell him he needs to take it back a few pages to where you began and were attracted to each other. If he's not interested in doing that, then you should move on. |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | My friend asked u a question yesterday so i decided i'll ask mine too. My problem is just about oposite of hers. My husband never wants me to go anywhere without him tagging along. i dont think he's jealous - at least he doesn't act that way, but he just wont let me have time to myself. sometimes i want to go clothes shopping or grocery shopping by myself. The worst was the time he even went to the beauty shop with me when i went to get my hair cut. he didn't try to tell the hair dresser how to do my hair but he just sat there like a lump by the manicure lady. i was really embarassed. ive told him i need to do somethings on my own but he says we're married and should do things to-gether --but he doesnt want me to go to the barber shop with him!! Any ideas what to do Ric? do you think he might have a mental problem?? he's 45 years old and is an executive with a big fuel company. I'm 46 and work parttime in a gift shop. our kids are grown, gone from home. |
| Name: | too much togetherness |
| City: | Montana |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Hi, Ric -- You seem to advocate communication between people. Can you tell me what to do so I can communicate with my husband? At home he lives witih the TV remote in his hand. If I want to go for a walk with him he will go reluctantly, but has to take along his PDA and cell phone and is always checking them for news headlines, stock quotes or something. He won't go out to dinner unless it is to a sports bar with TVs blaring all over the place. He was not always like this, in fact he was rather romantic and attentive until we got married, then he changed within a month. He said that since he married me that should be enough to prove he wants to be around me. But what good is that if he won't even talk to me. Help me, Ric -- I've already started looking in the yellow pages to see how many divorce lawers are in town but I really don't want to get divorced. |
| Name: | Sad |
| City: | Wyoming |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | I don't know how I overlooked this one but here it is again.
Ask Ric for advice...: Hi, Ric, I am a 61-year-old woman who is sensitive about my aging body and the fact that I had to have all my teeth out and get bionic ones. Is there any hope that men could still find me attractive? I live in hope! Name: Grandma journalism teacher City: Muncie, Indiana Friday, May 28th 2004 - 07:30:16 PM Answer- I'm sure with your new teeth you have a winning smile. That certainly wouldn't bother me or most men. The fact that you even took steps to improve yourself is good. I wouldn't be too upset about the aging body, just do some good exercises, a good diet and your attitude will take care of the rest. As long as you have the good attitude, a sense of humor and smile with those new teeth, you'll win the hearts of everyone. -Ric |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Age is a factor here. If he's much older,then he should have more independence than that and have his own life, family ,etc. It sounds pretty weird to be that devoted to them and not to favor a relationship with a female. As most everyone does when they get involved, the Sun usually rises and sets on the person they're with. Maybe he's really not that interested in you and it's just more of a convience. I wouldn't like that at all and most likely would be seeing someone else at this point. Chances are this is not going to change unless he wakes up and smells the coffee so they say. Maybe you should confront him and put that coffee can right under his nose to see if he gets a better understanding of your feelings. IF it still doesn't work then move on in life.
-Ric |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | I have been dating a guy for a little over a year. He's nine years older than me. Being that he is older he has more responsiblites around his house with his family. The problem is he makes no time for me. Iunderstand family is important but he completey ignores me sometimes for his family. He even told me that he sees himself in the future remaining single to take care of his parents.
As for his younger sister who is still six years older than me..she is his god. Everywhere we go together i have to constantly hear about his sister, or what he wants to buy for her, or if we go somewhere new and different, he has to take his sister there...it is so frustrating. I like this guy alot but this is a big problem..what do i do..HELP |
| Name: | trish |
| E-mail address: | utrishachadee@hotmail.com |
| City: | NY |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Re: Judging someone by how they are in public. The same goes for women? They put their best foot forward to attract a man and when they finally get him, things become different and they want to change him. Not in all cases but in many. You just have to take that chance. There is NO generalization. Every human is different and if you don't take the chance, you don't know. I'm nice to everyone and with me, what you see is what you get, there are NO surprises. Most of my male friends are the same way.
Now re: Cell phones in public. I'd like to shove most of them where the sun don't shine. People are rude and most aren't multi=tasked and most likely can't place the order at your place and talk at the same time. Many places here in Los Angeles have signs up saying NO CELL PHONES allowed. Another one say's please do not talk on your cell phone while in line or ordering. I was at the movies and some guy behind me started having a conversation 'loud' during the film. I turned around instantly told him to take that phone outside or I was going to take it away from him. He was with his kids, looked embarassed and hung it up. I looked for him after to tell him off but he left in a hurry. That kind of stuff really pisses me off. So many people abuse what the phone is meant for. They're talk happy and have nothing better to do with their time. What did we do years ago before they came out?? WE got home and checked our messages or used a pay phone. I'll bet if that were still the case, you'd see a lot less phone calls. |
| Name: | ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Hi Ric
Whenever my mom hears anybody say that some man seems like a nice guy, she gets this look on her face and says something I've heard her say a thousand times, never judge a man by what he's like in public, you don't know what he's like at home. I know she means my dad when she sez this. But you cant go into every guys home and see how he acts there. So, tell me Ric, how am I supposed to know if I guy I want to go out with is o.k. and if I do go out with him that he isn't just putting on a show? My mom has no answer for this. |
| Name: | Puzzled about men |
| City: | Wyoming |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Hi Ric
I work in a place where people stand in line to get waited on. and I realy get mad when i have to be nice while someone holds up the line with talking on a cell fone. My boss doesnt know what to do either becuase he doesnt want to offend a customer but the other cusomters are getting mad waiting. DO you have any idea how to handle this? i know it isn"t exactly a boy_girl problem but you seem to know how to handle lots of things> thanks> |
| Name: | WAITING |
| City: | RANCHESTER WYO |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Hmm, well I don't watch that much tv and I do agree that the absense of it does bring the family closer together for conversation, etc. I'm a big family man and it's important to me to have communication within my family. TV however does bring the news into our house and I do watch it at breaksfast to see what's going on in the world. I have cable but am mostly into educational channels. I don't think by cutting it off will make an impact on what your children see in the world. They will learn plenty from their friends at school, good and BAD. In fact that's where they learn most of the bad stuff. My daughter is 13 and she knows plenty just from girly gossip. Sometimes the kids know more than the adults.
If your husband enjoys the satellite and programs, that's his choice. Remember in this country we have 'freedom' of choice and he's exercising it. I tell my wife the same. Not to make my decisions. I will make them myself. If I had wanted her to do so, I would have stayed home with my Mother. -Ric |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Ric,
I'm interested in your opinion. My husband and I have not had TV in our home for several years by choice. We have 4 kids and made the decision to eliminate TV because of the difficulty in monitoring it's content and the time spent in passive watching. All of our kids are great students (3 have 4.0 GPA's) and I believe that eliminating TV has greatly contributed to this. Also, we had much valuable family dialog on lots of issues and we have great, open relationships with all of them. Again, I believe that this has happened, in part, because the absence of TV has given us the opportunity. Here's my issue - my husband now gets free satellite TV and has had it connected without discussing it with me. After living without it for 5+ years, I find it obtrusive, the content not appropriate for children (one of our kids is still in elementary school), and really an annoyance when someone turns it on! I want peace and quiet again, free or not...what do you think? |
| Name: | Ronda |
| E-mail address: | rondag@sheridan.edu |
| City: | wy |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | I'm not sure where you can find anyone affiliated with Mae West. Most all have passed away. I worked in her last film sextette. See photos on my site under bodybuilding. She was really a very nice person. We were scheduled to work a few days which turned into a month due to the fact she stayed home many of those days. The movie was awful but I made good money and got to work with her.
-Ric |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | "Courting Mae West" is a play I wrote about true events that happened to actress Mae West during 1926-1929 in Manhattan when she was on Broadway. QUESTION: How can I locate adults who remember Mae West and would want to talk to me about her? There's also a free educational Mae West comic book [based on my play] featuring Super-Hero types. . .
- - http://MaeWest.blogspot.com - - |
| Name: | Mae West dramatist |
| E-mail address: | ComeUpSeeMae@aol.com |
| City: | New York, NY |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Ok this is for Big Chicken. The answer is NO. She has a boyfriend and you need to respect that. If at sometime that relationship ends, then and only then can you ask.
-Ric To: Mixed Signals.. I don't see any mix up here at all. Obviously there is a mutual attraction and that's always a good thing. However you are in a relationship at present. You've got to either commit to that relationship or end it before you move on. And who's to say the new person won't become boring after awhile. Is it you or is it your partner. Maybe your expectations are different now. People don't usually change so what you see, is what you get. Just read the road signs and read them well. -Ric |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Hi, I have a bit of a problem. My boyfriends nephew which he is 24,though I'm only 29. Is constantly staring at me, and everywhere I go He want's to be, He is always complementing me on my hair and clothes. Do you think he likes me?... I kind of like him somewhat, It's just that my boyfriend is so boring we seem more like roomates than boyfriend and girlfriend..And his nephew and I are always talking and doing things together.. Can there be an attraction there on both sides? Please help me. I feel attracted this man... Helpppppppp |
| Name: | mixed signals |
| E-mail address: | spanishchyna@aol.com |
| City: | massachusetts |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | hey ric, the coffee lady here at the college made me ask you this. I was a few minites away from asking a girl i like to go to the moviess with me when i found out she has a boyfriend so i didnt ask her to go to the movies, Do you think i should have asked her anyways ? |
| Name: | big chicken |
| City: | Sheridan |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | 2 answers in one. Chewing gum has it's place and time. I think that it's ok, unless you chomp it and make an issue out of it. I see a lady in the gym and I can hear her popping her gum all the way across the room. Don't do that.
Now, re: Marriage and Kids. I was just having that discussion with my 90 year old Mother. I have someone close to me that does not want to be married any more. I gave him advice in the beginning not to do it. He was too young, she was too insecure and they needed to wait. But, did he listen? Nope~! and 2 kids later. Now he wants out, he's lost interest in his wife, she in him and all they do is fight and threaten each other. It's a toxic relationship that also poisons the kids. They have big ears and hear everything. It breaks my heart to see kids go thru this and in this case it's best NOT to stay together. It's not getting any better and it won't unless they are willing to go to counciling and do something about it. Remember it takes two to row the boat. If one rows and the other naps, you'll never get across the river. -Ric |
| Name: | -Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | My grandma is always telling me not to chew gum in public. she sez it is "unladylike." I think shes super oldfashioned. what do guys think about girls who chew gum???? |
| Name: | Bubbles |
| City: | Sheridan Wy |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Dear Ric, I am a college student and in one of my classes we are talking about marriage. What are your thoughts about "staying together for the sake of the kids?" I know what I think but I'd like to know what someone older thinks because I have to present a report about it in a couple weeks. Thanks. |
| Name: | Questioning student |
| City: | Gillette, Wyo |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | That's something that I see all the time as well. But, from what I've seen it's usually the woman talking to the man like that. For example, older couples who've been married for years, the wife is always talking down to the husband as if he's stupid and she has to think for him. I've seen this over and over many times. The men in that situation are 'wimps' and don't even try to defend themselves. However on both sides, it's wrong. It just seems to be lack of respect.
People are on their best behavior when they first meet and the first few years. Then they become so familiar that they begin to pick each other apart. No more compliments, terms of endearment, sitting close together, etc. It becomes stale and like almost a sentencing. Now, not in all cases of course, but in quite a few. Those people have given up and have forgotten the reason that they were even attracted to each other. Basically the 'real them' emerged that was always there inside as well. A lot of the behavior is picked up by watching how their parents treated each other and that was their role model for marriage. That's the biggest impact on it. But, it's not right and I hate seeing it as much as you do. -Ric |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Dear Ric,
Why do you think some husbands and wives talk to each other with such disrespect? I work with the general public in my job, and I often hear spouses speaking to each other in insulting, condescending, impatient, derisive,and abrasive ways that they would never employ when speaking to strangers. Usually -- but not always -- it is the man speaking to the woman this way. I would be very hurt if someone I loved spoke to me like that either at home or in public. And I doubt that I would remain married to a person like that. What's your take on these situations? |
| Name: | Puzzled |
| City: | Parkman, Wyoming |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | As far as the young man hitting on you, feel flattered that he's doing it and amuse him by just letting him know that you appreciate the fact that he's attracted to you but you are really not into younger men. Tell him that he needs someone his age that he has more in common with and that he should use his advances on someone his age.
As far as the husband sitting home and not participating, if you've tried everything you can to involve him in your life and he won't do it, then dress up and go out more often with your friends. Be vague on what you're doing and just have fun. He'll either question you and feel left out which may bring him to his senses and join you or he'll ignore the situation , in which case, 'dump him'. He's just a barnacle on your boat. |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Hi, Ric,
I'm at my friend's house. She was brave enough to ask you a question, which inspired me to ask this: My neighbor's son is hitting on me. He's 20 and I'm 45. He stares at me so much while I'm gardening that I've taken to wearing overalls and a flannel shirt instead of my shorts. But he still persists in coming up to the fence and making suggestive remarks. He's actually pretty hot, but his mom is in my church prayer circle, and I'm afraid to follow up on my baser instincts. How should I handle this? |
| Name: | Secretly Hot Mama |
| City: | Anywhere, USA |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Dear Ric, What should I do about a husband who brings his boring job home with him and sits in front of the computer for hours looking up stock quotes and refuses to have a social life. I'm still young at heart--would like to go dancing, or out to concerts, meet people and have fun. This old fogey is driving me bonkers. |
| Name: | Nearly Bonkers |
| City: | Somewhere, Indiana |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Hi, Ric, I am a 61-year-old woman who is sensitive about my aging body and the fact that I had to have all my teeth out and get bionic ones. Is there any hope that men could still find me attractive? I live in hope! |
| Name: | Grandma journalism teacher |
| City: | Muncie, Indiana |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Meeting people on the internet is fun but can be dangerous. I've met a lot but mostly business related and has worked out to be some very good ventures for me. As far as dates, and relationships, I'd worry. Most aren't honest about who, and what they are and can use someone else's photos only to be a dissapointment. However if you start it as a friendship and let it grow from there over time, you may be able to find a truthful person. I just read that millions of seniors over 65 all the way thru 90 are using the internet to meet mates and have the same dishonety problems. It's a risk, but anything is in life and if you're willing to step outside the box for adventure, then why not? You only live once.
Also to the person that wants to know how to explain being single. Just say you prefer it that way cause you haven't met anyone worthy of your expectations and don't feel that you should have to settle for just anyone. You're worth more than that. Hope this helps. I'm very realistic,but that's the way to be! |
| Name: | -Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | hello ric - i'm a middleage woman living in a small rural town. i cant seem to find anyone to date here & met a guy in Maine over the internet. he's ggetting serious and wants to meet me but i'm getting cold feet. what do you think about meeting people on the internet in a romantic sense? |
| Name: | cold feet |
| City: | Powell Wyo |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Hi, Ric!
This is the last day of school here at Sheridan College. Just want you to know that we have appreciated all your common sense advice for our various questions. We'll write to you again next fall! |
| Name: | Various fans at SC |
| City: | Sheridan, Wyoming |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Dear Ric, I'm a retired woman who has returned to college. People keep asking me if I'm married, and when I say I'm not, they look at me, almost accusingly, asking, "Well, why not?" How should I answer them, considering that I'll see them around the school everyday? |
| Name: | Not married |
| City: | Gillette, Wyoming |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | There's not much you can do or say to someone who's in or has been in the military. True the war is senseless and it's getting worse, but some people have a devotion to go and fight and that's their mission. You're not going to change that in them, just wish them well. Marines are trained to be loyal and that's what holds it together. Obviously it'd be best if this whole thing had never happened but we've got a mess now.
Ric |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Dear Ric, This question is a little different from what you've been answering, but I'm going to ask anyway since you seem to be able to apply life's experiences to most anything.
One guy I know just enlisted in the National Guard because he WANTS to volunteer to go fight in Iraq. He talks to me a lot, and I think the war is all wrong, that the U.S. got into the war for the wrong reasons, and I have trouble just saying something like "Stay safe" when my anti-war feelings run so strong. Another guy I know who used to be in the Marines is being asked by the Marines to join up again. He's not sure he wants to, but feels a loyalty to the Marine Corps. How do I talk to these guys? I don't want to rant and rave, but I don't think I should be denying my own views either. Thanks in advance for any help you can give me. |
| Name: | Dismayed |
| City: | Wyoming |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | My Commercial agency has an employee that has an extreme allergy to perfumes and colognes and there's a sign on the door not to wear them in the building. This pertains to everyone. I have some patchuli oil that I like and so do many others, but some people hate it and tell me. I'm not offended at all. I realize that not everyone will like it. I think you should just tell hm thatyou have allergies to certain fragrances and this is one of them. I'm sure he'll understand. That's an easy one.
Ric |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Ric, This really nice, intelligent guy I know from a club I belong to has asked me out a couple times, but I keep putting him off. The reason is that he wears some kind of cologne or aftershave, I think it's musk, and everytime I am within ten feet of him at the club meetings for even a few minutes, my eyes start to water a little, my sinuses start to hurt, and later I get a headache. I know musk is supposed to make guys sexy, but it just makes me sick. How can I tell him this without hurtingg his feelings or embarrassing him??? I'd really like to go out with him. |
| Name: | Allergic |
| City: | Big Horn Wyoming |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Bodybuilding trunks should be easy to find. I would do a check on google under bodybuilding wear and see what comes up. I know that stores like Max Muscle have them but not sure if any of those stores are near you. There are some in Venice and they may have a website that you can order out of. But, I always search on google when I need something.
http://www.getbig.com/links/clothes.htm Here ya go, this one below has it. http://www.body-builders.com/suitdisplay.html |
| Name: | -Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Hey Ric,
I’m looking for some trunks that I can wear for competition bodybuilding events. I noticed that the trunks you wore back in the day were pretty cool. Who makes them and where can I get a pair? Vinnie |
| Name: | Vinnie |
| E-mail address: | vmcgee@fiberpipe.com |
| City: | Sheridan, WY |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Thank you for that kind note. Yes, my opinions are my opinions and never meant to be hurtful. I just see things pretty realistically and sometimes have to realize that the world is not perfect even though I'd like it to be. There are many many fine people out there from all walks of life and all parts of the world and I always look to find the good in them. Everyone has it and it's there, you just have to find it and at times it takes a little effort. Plus no matter who you speak to and meet with, you always can learn something from them. Whether it be good or bad. It's up to you to use it wisely. It's all about sharing thoughts and ideas. This is something that just makes you grow better as a person. I also realize within myself that having friendships with women have been a benefit to me. I realize that men and women do not think alike on all subjects but that's not to say either sex is wrong. It's just a different point of view. I've learned just as much from being friends with Women as I have Men. I just wanted you to know that I respect that fact.
-Ric |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Dear Ric,
Thank you for taking the time to respond to the comments I left yesterday. You are right. Everybody has the right to his or her own opinions. Any my opinion is that you and I know our own minds. I'll keep reading your column because I find your candor refreshing. |
| Name: | A reader |
| City: | Sheridan, Wyoming |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | In regards to your opinon on men driven by sex. I'm generalizing when I say that but we are the hunters and that's a known fact. Of course other things matter and not just sex but if you hang with guys, that's usually the topic of discussion.
Now on small towns. Yes, there are definitely some very intelligent and very rich people in those places. You have all kinds as you do in big cities. I'm not saying that they are stupid, lazy or behind mentally. They move at the speed of their environment. I can only relate to the small town I was raised in and those that I wrestled in. I saw a big difference in motivation and drive. Much slower paced and not current in things that you find in big cities. My home town was 90 miles out of LA and they were always 6 months behind in fashion, music and tv shows. It's still that way. Ric These are my opinions and I am entitled to mine as you are to yours. |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Hello, Ric--
I've heard some of the students here at Sheridan College talking about your Website, so I decided to check it out. You seem to have a common-sense approach to life's problems, but I do have some thoughts I'd like you to comment on. First, as I read your advice, I noticed that you repeatedly refer to males as "hunters." Does this mean that, as a woman, I cannot expect men to demonstrate moral or ethical responsibility for their sexual behavior? Does this mean that it's o.k. for men to have no concern for the emotions and feelings of their sexual partners? Does this mean that men are so driven by their hormones that they cannot logically be expected to assume any of the responsibility for "safe sex"? Should women have any expectations at all in their relationships with men? Second, I must say I was somewhat offended by your blanket assumptions about people who live in small towns. At 16,000 people, Sheridan, Wyoming, most certainly qualifies as a small town, compared to Los Angeles. However, Ric, we have some highly educated and open-minded people with intellectual curiosity who live here. Along with successful business people, artists, actors, authors, and cowboy poets live here. Some very wealthly people who could live anywhere in the world have chosen to make Sheridan County their home. And never discount the wisdom and ingenuity of the men and women who may not wear the latest fashions or read The New Yorker or The Atlantic Monthly, but know how to keep newborn calves alive in a blizzard and know how to fix about anything with duct tape and wire. I'm looking forward to your comments on my thoughts. Thank you for providing a forum for both adults and students to share their thoughts. |
| Name: | One of your new readers |
| City: | Sheridan, Wyoming |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Wow, Those are some good questions Sais.
Ok 1.I grew up in a small hick town. It was good growing up but at 20 I moved to the big city, Los Angeles where I found I had more opportunity. My friend here always make fun of the fact I came from this small town as if no one would live there. Well, I have friends that still live there but have never grown out of the small town minds or mode. They really act no different than they did in high school. Larger citys are considered more cultured and advanced and they are. So people from the larger city tend to look down on small towns as if they don't exhist. It's not right, but it's a fact. 2. I don't think people get offended cause something comes easier for you. I think that they are envious because they have to work at it. I do things that look easy for others, but I spend a lot of energy doing them. It just looks easy. I wouldn't worry about it. Just do what works for you and that's what really matters. You'll out shine them in the long run. 3. Putting things off is human nature. Give me 10 things to do in one given day and I'll do all of them. Give me one thing and I'll wait till late in the day to do it. 4.Any male (animal) is the hunter. They're main drive is to reproduce and have sex. It's due to the hormone testosterone. All males produce it and some have more than others. Females have it as well, just not as much. During your puberty years and teens is when you produce the largest amount. So, that will increase your sex drive. Immediately upon release of that you lose the interest. But, it returns later on more frequently in a younger age and less as you get older because testosterone production slows down with age. Hope I answered your questions. -Ric |
| Name: | -Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | I have a few questions that I would like to be answered.
First, why do people from large cities act like they have never heard of Wyomin'? They always say something like this: "Isn't that a planet or something?" Another question is why do people get offended when everything comes easier for somebody else? Take me for an example, I rarely do homework, I have never studied for a test in my life, and yet I always get better grades than most people in my classes. People get pissed when I tell them what I get. Is it wrong to be smart? Should I try to act stupid like everyone else? Why do am I, and most people I know, lazy? We always put things off until the last second. Most of the homework that I turn in, I do during the class it's due. I can't seem to find the will power to do "home"work at home. And my final question is why do males want to have sex so much? After any time I have sex, I never understand why I had such a drive to do it. Just thought I would ask some questions, Sais |
| Name: | Sais |
| City: | Sheridan, Wyomin' |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Ask Ric for advice...:
Dear Ric, How can I get my parents to accept the fact that I am getting married? And how can I make them a part of the wedding when they don't want to be? When they think that I am to young, I just turned 19. Wishful Name: Wishful Guess what! They're right. 19 is way too young to get married. You haven't even experienced life or other people yet. What you want now, you won't want in 10 years. That's just the way it is. Life changes your opinions, wants, desires, people, etc. I'd wait at least 8 years to make a decision like that. IF not, you most likely will end up in divorce court and we'll be seeing you on a reality show with no pay! -Ric |
| Name: | Ric |
| City: | State |
| Ask Ric for advice...: | Ask Ric for advice...:
How would you deal with a bossy controling mother who won't accept anything that you do. I wish that she was more understanding and not so uptight, but she just doesn't accept me for who I am. A friend for a friend Name: A friend City: Sheridan College, WY Hmm. There are some out there, that's for sure. They think that they're always right. You should probably sit her down and try to talk as an adult and express your views and feelings letting her know that you are an indivdual and having your own mind is what it's all about. Try to reason. If that doesn't work, write her a letter that she can read in black and white. I was watching a tv show and a teacher (if reference to a kid) told the father that your Son certainly has a mind of his own.! Lots of older people use this phrase not realizing that, 'who's mind would you like the kid to have, if not his own mind? Makes sense. |
| Name: | -Ric |
| City: | State |