Letters To Heaven
Our 'Letters to Heaven' section is the place to write down your thoughts, express your grief, or just a place to say 'Hello sweetheart, I miss you.' Each letter will remain on file, amongst hundreds of other letters from grieving parents. Each is as unique as the baby who was forever lost.
To create your letter, please go here
We are so sorry for your loss.
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The Letters:
| Ethan Ksenjak: |
|
Dear my sweet, beautiful Ethan,
Every single day I miss you. I wonder why God had to take you now. I wonder why my body wasn't able to keep you. I wonder how it'll be when I get pregnant with your future siblings. Pleas know that your father and I love you so very much and we miss you every second of the day. We love you forever. |
Thursday, January 26th 2012 - 09:50:48 PM
| Alec: |
| My dear little angel. This time of year is approaching again...you would be 7 years old on Sunday. I miss you so much. It's amazing that I still remember every detail of this week like it was just yesterday. Everyone says, time heals all wounds...I don't think it applies in your case...nor in any parents case who writes these letters on this site. It's a infinate hole left in your heart...forever. I try to remain positive, in your honor, and try very hard to be a better person who now realizes "what the important things are in life"...that's all I can do, until we meet again my dearest little boy. I love you with all my heart...miss you more than words can describe. xoxoxoxo Mommy |
Wednesday, January 25th 2012 - 11:45:36 AM
| Sebastian: |
|
I miss you my little angel. My Christmas will never be the same without you.
Today I finally asked God why He took you away from me, and even though I know I will never find out, He heard me. We are sponsoring a 2-year old boy in your honor, which brought tears to our eyes. I can't wait to see you... |
Sunday, December 4th 2011 - 07:50:14 PM
| Canelo Reyes: |
|
Canelo,
I wasn't able to meet you but I love you so much. I think about you everyday, nothing will ever replaced you. I pray god will give me a chance to see you one day, even though I dont deserve it. Daddy doesn't know how much I miss you and I wish he can feel my pain. I love you more than anything I have ever loved. I know you are a beautiful baby and pray I can see you one day. Love, Mommy |
Wednesday, November 30th 2011 - 12:56:23 AM
| Our Little Baby: |
|
I am so numb right now, I cannot put into words. I held you for a short 10 weeks before your tiny heart stopped and you went to Heaven.
I know this happened for a reason, but I cannot let go of how sad I am, and my tears rarely stop flowing down my face. You brought so much joy to my life, and gave me a reason to wake up every day. You were my first little one, and were such a joy to hold close to my heart...you will never be far. I love you Mommy |
Sunday, November 27th 2011 - 04:31:33 PM
| charles commander: |
| Dear C.J. my precious son in heaven. i love you. mommy |
Monday, November 14th 2011 - 07:25:42 PM
| charles commander: |
|
dear CJ,
i dropped off the blanket to your daddy. its getting cold. and i know it is colder on water in the sailboat. i put blanket under his car. i hope that he sees it. he'll know its from us. i miss you so much my son. this week has been very tough. i love you and will be with you one day. watch over your sisters and your daddy. send all the angels down that you can from up there. i love you, mommy |
Friday, November 11th 2011 - 10:32:06 PM
| charles commander: |
| my dear son. your dad txt me song lyrics: just smiling in the dark, shooting stars around your heart. dreams come bouncing in your head, pure and simple everytime. now your crying in your sleep, i wish you never learned to weep. dont sell your dreams you should be keeping pure and simple everytime. i dont know what he was trying to say. but its the frist thing hes said to me in a year and a half. i miss you CJ. i want to die. noone needs me. others claim my place. god claims my life but leaves me living.full womb, then empty arms every time.... i want to go with you. i dont know where you are. i keep waiting for you to be undead. i cant wrap it all around my head. my souls mate is your father. isnt that cruel? what a funny joke. living in exhile if i go to him. living alone still if i do not. God just take me please. your sister brain still washed by her captors even after release. all i beg from you is death please. i want to go be with my son CJ. |
Tuesday, November 8th 2011 - 03:30:20 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good afternoon to my little angel in heaven.How is Nanas little Jaycie Rylan doing today?My goodness,its been since May since I last wrote to you.Where does the time go?Summer is over and we are now into the autumn season here on Earth.Everyone was so darn busy this summer.Nana and Pappy took there camper up to evergreen lake for 5 weeks and camped.It was a lot of fun.Your big sister Lexi stayed about 14 days with me off and on.Lexi just loved it up there.She got to go swimming and play on the beach everyday.Lexi is the queen of making S'Mores.We ate 10 of them everynight.Your little brother David(Little Dickens) is what I call him loved to be up there too.Mommy,Lexi and little David are coming for supper tonight.Lexi is going to spend the week-end with Nana and Pappy.How I wish you could be here with your nana and eat my pork chops and applesauce cake and play with your brother and sister.I would love for you to be able to spend the week-end here with all of us.I miss you so so much.It hurts my heart so much inside that I cant hold you and kiss you and give you lots of presents and spoil you the way Nanas are suppose to spoil there precious Grand children.How is Uncle Larry doing? I sure do miss him too.I bet he is taking good care of you and spoiling you just rotten.Do you play with Sonja and Sammy?Mommy misses and loves you so much Jayce.We are coming to a hard part of the year.Next Saturday you will be 4 years old already.I just cant believe it.Have a fun filled day today sweet heart and always know that you are in my thought,prayers and also alive in my heart and very soul.Big Kisses and Hugs to my wonderful little Jayce.XXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and millions more.Your Nana Kim |
Friday, October 7th 2011 - 09:44:09 AM
| charles commander v: |
| dear son, i miss you more than words. your niece, my granddaughter is so precious.youre an uncle. please look over her. i wish that i could know where you are CJ. i love you, mommy |
Friday, September 2nd 2011 - 05:17:50 PM
| Dear Angel Baby: |
| Well, we found out we are pregnant again. Just a few short months after we lost you. Im very confused right now, Im not sure if I should be upset or happy. I am a little happy, but at the same time Im afraid I will experience the same result as I did with you. Please watch over us Angel. We need you now, as we have needed you this whole time. Watch over us, and your little brother or sister, and help guide us through. We love you so much Angel, we miss you. Until we meet agian. I love you always and forever. <3 mommy |
Monday, August 29th 2011 - 08:41:23 AM
| Angel Baby: |
| It has been a while since I last wrote you, though I talk to you often. I miss you. You would be around 5 months along by now, and your daddy and I would be preparing to meet you. I wish things would have been different. I wish God would have let you stay with us. But I don't hate or resent him for taking you from us. It still hurst to see Melissa and Melanie growing. Especially Melissa, since we are closer to her. We went to the pool today,and every time I turned around there was a mommy to be standing there. Makes me very jelouse that they will meet their little one and I wont. But no matter what happens we will always think of you, and remember that you do exist. We love and miss you so much. Goodnight my Angel, I love you so much. <3 |
Sunday, July 10th 2011 - 07:39:43 PM
| Didn't have one picked out yet: |
|
Hello dear baby,
My god how I wish you were here. This has been a very tough few months and you would have been born this month. It does hurt deeply that you were never able to meet daddy, Sydney, mommy or the rest of our wonderful family. However, I do wonder if you have already met vavo and papa and many other loved ones that are in a better place above. There is comfort in in those thoughts. I don't even know for sure if you were a boy or girl- they said girl but at the time you passed it is hard to tell. My heart was broken the day I found out you no longer had a heartbeat. I think it broke my heart more to know that you weren't going to ever meet your amazing big sis. It hurt me so much to share the news with her. I know I will heal with time, but I just simply wanted to say I love you with all of my heart and soul and miss not being able to have met you or held you. May you be in a beautiful place in peace and with loved ones above. I love you, Mommy |
Friday, July 8th 2011 - 06:26:41 PM
| charles commander: |
|
son,
where are you? mommy |
Monday, June 27th 2011 - 06:16:06 PM
| Our hopes and dreams: |
| To my darling baby, well, I lost you yesterday, I'm so heartbroken that you couldn't stay, I had so many things I dreamed for you...I love you so very much, it hurts me yet I'm numb to the world. I just hope you are at peace, but know Isabella, that I loved you intensely, I still do. May you play with your big brother Taylor, and remind him that I love him dearly, I never thought we'd be blessed with you, but thankfully we were. I'm left with a million questions, a million sorrys and a million hopes and dreams, that may never be fulfilled...my angels, until we meet and I snuggle into your softness, your mummy, who loves you more than you will ever know. |
Saturday, June 11th 2011 - 06:06:08 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good Morning To Nanas big boy.How have you been? I cant believe it has been January since I last wrote to you.I wish I could tell you things are good here on earth,but I cant.Did you know the world was suppose to end yesterday May 21st? I guess God had other plans.Your Uncle Ryan is in trouble.He was diagnosed with a brain tumor on March 18th and operated on March 24th.He is not listening to the Doctors and I am afraid for him.Pappy is doing good with his drinking.He went to a rehab for a month and he has not had a drink since Feb.8th,but he is always in so much pain.Nana is always hurting too,especially in my neck.I am wondering where the spring weather is? It has been an awful spring so far.Lots of rain and cold.I usually have lots of flowers in Bloom right now,but the weather is not co-operating.Mommy is coming up for a visit today,so is Lexi and David.How I wish you could have got to know you Family for a little while before you had to leave us.Are you really 3and1/2 years old already?My,you must be a very handsome little boy.Just wanted to write you a short letter and let you know that you are very much loved and thought of everyday by your family.Hope the sun is shining up in heaven and you have a wonderful day.All my love to you and a million kisses and hugs to you,my sweet little angel baby grandson,my little Jaycie Ryan. From your Nana Kim. |
Sunday, May 22nd 2011 - 06:54:51 AM
| CJ Commander V: |
|
Dear Son,
I Love You. ,Mommy |
Sunday, May 15th 2011 - 03:36:54 PM
| Angel Baby: |
| It hasnt even been a week since you left us to be with God. There isnt anything I can do to bring you back, but I feel like you never existed. I dont know how to handle losing you. Am I mourning for you? I feel like I dont mourn you enough because there is a smile on my face more now than a few days ago. But I still think of you constantly. You were my first, our first. And I wish you could have stayed. I will always miss you, miss the life you would have been. The amazing person you would have become. I miss you so much. Its amazing how I feel so strongly for you and I never even got to feel you. I love you so much, you have made me see the more beautiful things in life. I hope and pray that we will see eachother again. Me, you and your daddy. It doesnt matter that we never met, I will always be your mommy and you will always have a daddy. I will think of you on mothers day, as your daddy will think of you on fathers day. And your bithday too of corse. Until I write again, I love you with all my heart. My love... |
Thursday, May 5th 2011 - 06:29:28 PM
| Angel Baby: |
| It has been the longest 3 days of my existance without you. I miss knowing where you are, in my belly, in my heart. You are my Angel, you will guide me every step of the way through my life, every day. Its so hard not to think of you all the time. I cannot concentrate on anything, I miss you so much. We only had a short 9 weeks together, but you will be with me forever. I never got to hold you in this world, but I will in Heaven. I love and miss you so much! I will be thinking of you always. Until we meet again... |
Tuesday, May 3rd 2011 - 10:49:39 AM
| charles commander: |
|
Dear Son,
I Love You. Your short life has changed me forever. i wish that i could have traded places with you. I miss you, mommy |
Sunday, April 10th 2011 - 07:28:33 PM
| Keagan : |
| Keagan I want you to know that I love you so much. Daddy and i miss you terribly. We wanted nothing but the best for you and we will never forget you. I love you sweetheart |
Tuesday, March 1st 2011 - 07:19:55 PM
| charles joseph commander V: |
|
Dear Son,
you have changed my life forever. i know that you just touched base here with me and your father and gammy and granpa. all of the staff in nicu. you touched our hearts and flew away. back to God. you are an uncle. can you believe it? she is so beautiful. i love her so much. tell God thank you for me. i wish that your sisters wouldve met you. i want everyone in my life to love you. i want everyone in the world to know you and love you. i will understand when i die why you had to go so soon. one day i will understand everything. my little precious son. i love you, your mommy |
Monday, February 28th 2011 - 05:48:51 PM
| rajveer and ranveer: |
| Oh my boys! Ur Maasi is soooooooo helpless.I had plans for both of u.I thought u will make me a proud Maasi .I have failed herein life.what will we do without u.....why did god took u away?u were still to come into this world.god didn't let it happen.god I'm asking u.....why did u hurt little unborn babies?what punishment is this?why did u took our angels away?life is full of pain.how do we mend this? Rajveer n ranveer! ur memories r with ur Maasi .....forever n ever.......how can things go wrong with unborn babies...god they need ur support.u cud have helped them.atleast let them in this world.they breathed their last in their moms arms.if 3more weeks they wud hAve been viable........god I want answer from u.....can we get our babies?god they say u see everyhing ....how can u see my sister in so much pain?she deserves to be happy.....y u took her babies away.........god..... Plz wake up...... |
Thursday, February 10th 2011 - 02:14:09 AM
| Alec Morgan: |
|
Missing you terribly today...hard to believe you would be 6 years old today. always thinking of you, forever in my heart and sending butterfly kisses to you today. love you so much Alec. xoxoxoxoxo
Mommy |
Saturday, January 29th 2011 - 07:36:37 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good afternoon to my handsome little Grandson Jaycie,How have you been sweetheart ?It has been such a long time since Nana Kim has sat down and wrote you.I am sorry.So much seems to be going on all the time and most of the things that are going on are not real good ones.My best friend Jeannette just got to heaven.Have you met her yet?Please give her a big kiss and hug from your nana.I loved her so much.How is Uncle Larry doing?He is due for a kiss from me too.Gosh how I miss all of you.Nana and Pappys house caught on fire a week before Christmas this year and now we are in the miserable messy phase of trying to fix it back up again.The wood stove and chimney caught fire.We were not at home at the time.We were down at your big sister Lexis Christmas concert watching her sing songs on stage in a beautiful new red Christmas dress that Nana and Pappy bought for her.Mommy and little David are sick right now,throwing up and all that happy stuff.Pappy hurt his knee and as always drinks too much and Nana is just tired and worn out and sad about losing my friend.The viewing and funeral was yesterday.Why do we all have to die?If it is so much a part of life why are we so sad when we lose someone?Ask God that question for me Ok?I miss you and love you with all of my heart.Have a good day today and One day I will see you again.Millions of hugs and kisses baby.Nana Kim |
Thursday, January 13th 2011 - 10:27:08 AM
| charles j commander v: |
|
My precious son that lives in heaven,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you! You are SO loved! i miss you! On earth, you would have been 3 years old. I am SO happy that you came in to my life. I hope that God throws a party for you with all of his angels and i hope that grandpa is there and nana and everyone that loves you over on the other side. |
Monday, January 10th 2011 - 08:11:33 AM
| Brianne Luz Dominguez: |
|
Merry Christmas, my little angel. We miss you so much. I am having a very hard time today. I can't stop thinking that you would be due in 9 weeks, and I can't stop thinking about how things could have been, had I been able to carry you full term. Your brothers and I say a prayer for you every evening before we go to bed. Both of your brothers said Merry
Christmas and that they Love you so very much and miss you. My Brianne, I wish you could be here with us. Daddy loves you and misses you too. We all want you back to hold in our arms. We Love you my baby girl. Until we meet again, Love Mommy. |
Saturday, December 25th 2010 - 07:38:14 PM
| charles commander: |
|
Dear Son,
I Love You. Mom |
Monday, December 13th 2010 - 07:51:49 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi Sweetheart....I know I haven't wrote you in a while but I talk with/about you everyday and I'm sure you know this. Just wanted to say how much I LOVE YOU and am ALWAYS thinking about you...I have a wreath and a christmas swag that Nana made for you and I'm going to bring it over later tonight after I get your little brother back. Me and your big sis decorated the christmas tree the other day and we were both so honored to hang your picture ornament up, your handsome little face makes the tree so special and beautiful! I Miss You baby and I will Love and Cherish you Forever, My Little Warrior Angel, Stay Strong and you and your Uncle Larry take care of eachother until the day I get there, keep protecting us all my Love....Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox |
Monday, December 13th 2010 - 07:44:30 AM
| Brianne Luz Dominguez: |
| Hi baby girl. I miss you so much. this time of year is going to be especially hard for me. I wish you would be here next christmas to spend it with us. You would have been born in about 3 months, and it is getting harder and harder the closer your due date gets. Your dad and brothers miss you so very much. I know that in time it will get easier, but right now, it still feels like a big part of my heart is missing. Miss you and Love you Soooo much. See you soon baby girl. Love Mommy |
Saturday, November 27th 2010 - 04:07:51 PM
| Jayce Rylan: |
| Just wanted to wish you a Happy Halloween baby boy and let you know that you are Loved and Thought about everyday......Love you My Little Warrior.....Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxox |
Saturday, October 30th 2010 - 02:13:30 PM
| cj5: |
|
my dear son,
i miss you so much and i wish i were with you. i wish that you stayed on earth. i love you, mommy |
Friday, October 29th 2010 - 01:11:12 AM
| dj: |
| hey babyy, its mommy .. i never got to meet you, but i do love you with all my heart && u will never be forgotten. maybe one day we can meet. if its gods will. <3 i love u punkin |
Thursday, October 28th 2010 - 04:00:57 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi Nanas little boy.It is a special day today.Its your 3rd Birthday. So Happy Happy Bithday to you.You must be having an extra wonderful time up in heaven today.I bet Uncle Larry gave you a 100 balloons and bags and bags of candy and lots of presents.My you must be getting so big and handsome.Nana and mommy want to have a dream of you so we can see how you have been growing.I wish there was more we could do for you today on your birthday.We are all coming to your resting place tonight (even Pop-pop) and we are going to sing Happy Birthday to you and light some sparklers.Mommy especially is very sad today and wishes so much you were here with us.She is trying to be strong for you .Your mommy is so beautiful as I know that you can see her,and you know how much she loves and honors you.So have a very Happy Birthday today Jaycie and know that we all love and think of you every single day of our lives.Take care sweetheart.All our love,Nana,Pappy,Sissy and little brother too.(and Princess Mary Elizabeth too). |
Friday, October 15th 2010 - 10:15:16 AM
| Brianne Luz Dominguez: |
| My precious angel, I miss you so much. It has been 1 week and 5 days since you have been gone, and I don't know if I can handle this. I cry all the time, and I keep questioning God and asking him why he had to take you from me before you even had the chance to take your first breath. I was waiting for the day that I would give birth to you and be able to hold you in my arms and hear you cry. My heart feels like it is missing. I can't breathe. I can not sleep at night, I am so tired. I know that you are in a better place, but it just hurts to know that you will never have the chance to be here with me, your daddy, and your two brothers. Alex still asks when you will be here. I have tried to explain that you are in Heaven, but he still is too little to understand. Sergio misses you so much, he was blaming himself for us losing you. I had to sit him down and explain that it was nothing that any of us did. They are slowly getting better. Daddy has not cried, as far as I know. I wish that he would cry with me, and hold me, and tell me that everything is going to be ok. I long to hold you in my arms again Brianne, my princess. We will all be together again in Gods Paradise. Hasta entonces, siempre le tenemos en nuestros corazones mi amor. |
Sunday, October 10th 2010 - 08:34:04 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good evening to Nanas little angel boy,little Jayce Rylan Mantz.How are you tonight?Nana is unable to fall asleep tonight it is about 10:00P.M.I am thinking about you honey boy and also about my twin brother Larry.You are both so heavily on my mind tonight.I cant believe that tomorrow is October 1st already.My goodness in just 2 weeks you will be 3 years old already.I dont know where the time goes.Your Nana now is a twinless twin and boy does that bother me.Uncle Larry has been gone for over 6 months now and I believe I am just starting the grieving process for him.I know that you are able to talk with him and spend time with your Uncle Larry up in heaven and I am wondering if he talks to you about your Nana Kim,his twin sister?Does he forgive me for not talking to him theses past 3 years?Is he at peace and happy up in heaven?Gosh how I wish I could have a few answers to some of my questions.I was just looking at all of your Uncle Larrys pictures that I have.How I wish he could have been happier while he was alive on earth.How I wish he could have stayed around a little bit longer.I wish you my little angel could have stayed around longer too.Why do people you love have to die?I guess all of the answers I am looking for lie somewhere in the bible.Your beautiful Mommy is really missing you right now.I am trying to think of something special that we can do for you on your birthday.Send Nana some inspiration.As this month gets closer I know it is going to get harder and harder for your Mommy.Please be with her in spirit and help her to stay strong these next couple of weeks.I worry about her so much and I pray that she somehow finds some peace to go on and live a happy and meaningful life untill the day she is reunited with you and has the answers she has been seeking.I miss and love you so very much little fellow.I hope you are happy and being well taken care of where you are.Have a good night sleep and Nana will talk to you again real soon.Give Uncle Larry a kiss and a hug from NANA AND TELL HIM i MISS AND LOVE HIM TOO VERY MUCH.All my Love to both of you.Nana Kim,and twin sister Kim. |
Thursday, September 30th 2010 - 07:26:11 PM
| cj5: |
| oh my son, i miss you so much. i am thinking about you every day so much. every horrible crushing moment. the hospital was like going to what hell must be like. im having post traum stress episodes. like flashbacks. my chest feels like its going to stop breathing and my throat tightens so much and i cant stand and i remember holding you. then a month later having to let someone take your lifeless body out of my arms forever. i had to quit work and i am on so many medications. all i do is sleep and cry and think that you just died right this second. oh cj, why now? why am i falling apart right now? im going to be a grandmother. noone can take that away from me. or i would die. my life has had so much pain. its like my whole life time of pain sitting on my chest. please tell God to help me. i cry so much, then i get SO angry at everyone and my whole life is like a failure. God help me. please. |
Tuesday, September 14th 2010 - 03:32:57 PM
| Jersey: |
| I miss you so much. I wish god would have given me a chance to me you. I think of you every day. love you ,mom |
Monday, September 6th 2010 - 05:40:19 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good eveening to Nanas little man.How have you been? It has been awhile since I last wrote to you and I sure am missing you.I want to ask you a favor sweetheart.Please give your Uncle Larry a great big hug and tell him it is from his twin sister Kim who is missing him very much on our Birthday today.I feel as though half of me is gone and I feel very sad today.I hope Uncle Larry is happy where he is and feels no more pain,hurt or anger.I love you Jaycie and I love you Larry,my twin brother.Have a good night and I will write again soon.Love,Nana Kim |
Thursday, September 2nd 2010 - 07:30:49 PM
| Breanna: |
| Hello my sweet baby, it has been 3 years now since you left our lives. Not a day goes by that you are not remembered and celebrated for the joy you brought to our lives. You have a new sister now and in so many ways she reminds me of you. We celebrated your birthday yesterday and though we try to be cheerful and pretend that somehow we are doing something for you i still feel a longing to have you here. There are no words to describe how much I mmiss you. Thank god for this site because I wouldn't have made it through without a place to vent where mommy is not alone. Haapy 3rd birthday my sweet angel<3 |
Sunday, August 8th 2010 - 03:21:47 AM
| Emma : |
|
I can never express you to the joy and happiness that you brought to this entire family during you short stay. You have an amazing family and you are an amazing little angel.
Life is not measured by how many breaths we take....but by how many moments take our breath away~~~unknown |
Saturday, July 24th 2010 - 02:03:40 AM
| CJ Commander: |
|
Dear Son,
I LOVE YOU my CJ. Mommy |
Friday, July 2nd 2010 - 11:26:54 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good afternoon to Nanas sweetiepie.How have you been doing? I cant believe I have not written to you in such a long time.I know you must be such a big boy by now.3 years old in October,wow I cant believe how fast the time has been going by,Mommy brought you a new night light,do you like it?How is uncle Larry doing? I bet you and him are having alot of fun together.I guess you can see how big your little brother is getting.Your beautiful mommy,David and Lexi came up for a visit yesterday.Little David was having so much fun squirting the 3 of us with the garden hose.Mommy was getting mad cos the water was so cold,but Nana thought it was funny and I couldnt stop laughing at him.He ate 2 pieces of watermelon and lots of red raspberries that Nana picked for him over at the farm.Oh my sweet little grandson,if only you too could be here for your Nana so that she could spoil you with all the good things in life.I miss you each and every day and I still dont understand why you had to be so so sick and have to leave all of us who love you so dearly.Nana is getting better from the car accident.My leg is almost healed and my arm is getting a little bit better,but it still hurts alot and keeps me up all night long.Mommy is going to move next door from her house .It is a much bigger place and I think she is going to be happy there.Please give your Uncle Larry a kiss and a hug from me.Tell him I love him and miss him very much.How I wish both of you were here with me.How unfair that Nana has been robbed of the joy of watching you grow up.I wonder if you get to grow up in heaven?I have so many questions that I would like to know about where you are,But I guess I am just going to have to wait and be patient and one day I will know the answers.One day Nana will be reunited with you again.Hope you are having a wonderful summer,everything must be so extra special where you are.Remember I love you with all my heart and soul.Missing and thinking of you always.Love,Love,Love,from your one and only Nana Kim........... |
Thursday, July 1st 2010 - 09:58:24 AM
| Aanand: |
|
Dear Aanand,
You came into this world too early at 19 weeks. We miss you and love you very much. You are being loved by God and one day your mommy & daddy will be able to hold you again. We miss you. |
Friday, May 28th 2010 - 03:25:08 PM
| charles commander v: |
| katie, you will be sorry |
Thursday, May 27th 2010 - 01:34:18 PM
| charles j commander v: |
|
Dear Son,
i miss you so incredibly much! i am lost without you and your daddy. guess what? your sister is going to have a baby. im going to be a grandmother! i miss you CJ. I Love You my son!!!! mommy |
Wednesday, May 19th 2010 - 04:06:04 PM
| Ronan Donnelly: |
|
Dear son,
You would be two years old if you were still here with me. I wonder if you would still have your dark hair, or if you would have gone blond like your older brother. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. I am broken without you, baby. Mama loves you always, my little seal. |
Monday, May 17th 2010 - 10:31:46 AM
| cj commander v: |
|
dear son,
i love you cj. mommy |
Sunday, May 2nd 2010 - 09:00:13 AM
| charles j commander v: |
|
Dear Son,
I miss you so much! Mommy |
Wednesday, April 28th 2010 - 11:25:41 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi Nanas honey boy.How have you been these past few weeks?I feel like it has been such a long time since I wrote you.Nana and Pappy were in a really bad car accident on March 16th.Pappy broke his shin bone and Nana broke her right arm and damaged my left knee.It has been over a month since the accident.All we have been doing is going to doctor apponitments and I have been going to physical therapy 3 times a week and now I have to go to wound care for my knee.It has not been fun.How is Uncle Larry? Nana almost joined you up in heaven.Nana just hates being in pain everyday,it makes me really miserable to be around.I cant run around and play with your brother and sister right now either.My whole summer is basically shot.I miss you little fellow,you must be such a big boy now.Mommy is doing good,but her broken arm is still not healed.Your mommy is losing weight and looks so beautiful,but I am sure you already know that.Well take care little man and I will write you again soon.Eternal love,your Nana Kim.I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH. |
Saturday, April 17th 2010 - 10:51:17 AM
| cj commander v: |
|
dear son,
i love you and i miss you. mommy |
Thursday, March 25th 2010 - 09:32:20 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi baby, mommy is extremely sad, as Nana has already told you your Uncle Larry passed. I hope you two are together and playing with Sonja in Heaven. Everytime I close my eyes I have flashbacks of what I saw yesterday and what you went thru. Life is unfair, your Uncle was gonna move in over here with us all in the next two months, we were all so excited to have our own little family compound, and he was happy to be closer to his nieces and nephew, you children were his world, the reason why he got up and smiled everyday, he loved to spoil me and the kids. He Loves you so much Jayce and I really hope you are together and he can do all the things with you that he won't be able to do now with your little brother David. I still can't believe you are both gone now, I Love You Both and Miss You So Much, Take Care of Eachother Til I Get There. I Wish You Eternal Love and Happiness. Love You Guys With All Of My Heart...Mommy/ Lindsay xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Saturday, March 6th 2010 - 04:22:32 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Dear Jaycie,How are you? Uncle Larry just got to Heaven,have you met him yet? I just can not believe that my twin brother has passed away and went to be with the angels and with god.We here on earth are so very sad,they say he did not suffer and he passed away quickly.I hope that that is true.Dear Jaycie he was my twin brother,we had a special bond and at one time we were very close to one another.Please welcome him into heaven and please Larry(my Little Larry) know that you are truly loved and one day I will be reunited with you again, I am so sorry that you had to leave us and to leave not knowing how much I loved you,your twin,Kim. |
Friday, March 5th 2010 - 08:16:16 PM
| charles commander: |
|
Dear CJ,
there is no love except mine for your father. i tried to convince myself but GOD knows better! so many signs that God sent to me last week. telling me not to give up on true love. your daddy and me will always love each other baby. you were conceived from pure love. and no matter what life throws at us, we will somehow prevail. tempation and manipulation are BIG down here on earth. daddys puppy died saturday. february is not a good month for us. but did put us back together. i prayed that daddy would fight his demons, and he is. its a long climb up but we'll make it. i love you CJ.and your daddy loves you so much! your death crushed him beyond description. but i know we will all be together inheaven after this life. i love you, mommy |
Sunday, February 21st 2010 - 07:42:15 PM
| charles commander: |
|
Dear CJ,
i cant stop writing to you! i do not know what life is about. just know that one day your daddy and me and you will be joined again in pure love. pure energy. we are family. we are blood. you were conceived out of love and no matter what. that cannot be taken away from US. only God knows what we have been through. and why we have been through it. i DO love your daddy, CJ. i DO! im sorry for everything!!!!!!!!! i wish that i could be there with you. Fred took your sisters and God took you. but ash and sam and i are close now CJ. and i live for them. your daddy has been crushed by your death. please look after him. he doesnt think that he deserves love and runs away from it all the time. i guess that i do the same thing. how can we be happy when you are not here with us? i know that you are in heaven with God. and who knows? maybe i will be with you soon. |
Monday, February 15th 2010 - 09:04:44 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hello Sweetheart.This is Nana sending you a letter from your beautiful Mommy.Happy Valentines Day honey boy.Your mommy misses and loves you more then words could ever say and Nana does too.Nana walked through snow almost up to her knees to leave you your Valentine gift today.I want to tell you what happened to your mommy the other day.Your poor mommy fell and broke her left arm,she is in so much pain Jaycie.I wish I could make her arm all better and take her pain away.Pappy and Nana spent the day with her and your little brother trying to help her out.Your big sister Lexi is at her daddys house till mommy gets better.So watch over your mommy and ask God for a quick recovery for her cos she sure is miserable and in a lot of pain and she cant take care of your little brother too good right now.Mommy wishes every single day that you could be with her and loves you with all of her heart.Take care little fellow and we will talk to you again soon.Millions and millions of hugs and kisses to our little angel.xxxoxoxoxxxoxoxxxoxoxoxoMommy and Nana.......... |
Saturday, February 13th 2010 - 05:35:40 PM
| charles commander: |
| CJ. i feel that i may be keeping you from being happy in heaven with GOD. if there is a life after death, i would expect that you would want to escape the pain that you felt whilst alive. my seminole indian friend told me that the seminole tribe believes that we on earth must'move on' when their loved one dies. he has a relative whose 3 children died! my friend said that US WE on earth crying for you wherever you are; keeps you stuck in limbo. i dont want you to know my pain CJ. i dont want to keep you stuck in limbo. but i want you to know that i love you and always will and i dont want you to take me being smiley or laughing MEANS that i am not sad. i dont want you to be mad at me because your daddy and me are not together. CJ, i am with a man other than your father and i feel guilty about that. but he loves me SO much and i have loved him since i was 15yrs old. im scared to bring love into my life again. CJ, please forgive me for loving someone else besides your daddy. im scared to live actually. im not scared to die. but i want to live to be here for your sisters just in case they need me. maybe i can save them one day or make a difference to them or maybe i can die for one of them, or maybe THEY need me. maybe other people on earth need me in some way or love me or i can give my love. im sorry about your daddy, CJ. i tried my best............ i will leave you to be in heaven with GOD. that is where i imagine you to be. and know that i love you. and that i imagine that we will all be with you one day. thats what i imagine. thats what i believe in my heart and soul and gut and mind. |
Thursday, February 11th 2010 - 08:53:19 AM
| charles commander: |
|
Dear Son,
the anniversary of your birth, its been TWO years and one month.! i cant believe that you were only on this earth for 24 days. i love you and miss you so much. your pictures are all around me. CJ, please visit your daddy sometimes. i know that one day we will all be in heaven together i hope. this life is just a ticking clock for me. your sisters are the reason that i still take in breath. your sisters and you and your daddy were what i lived for in those 24 days that you were on earth with me. i felt complete. so whole and happy. i was never so incredibly happy in my entire life than those days. i am stuck in those 24 days. now, your daddy is gone and i live for your sisters. to see them grow and to be here if they need me even though its only every once in a while. it seems so impossible to not feel guilty when i catch myself smiling or laughing or happy. im not really happy CJ. how could i be? you are dead. my son is dead. how could i ever be happy again? its not right. its not natural. i fake it REALLY well though. i should get an OSCAR. i am holding onto the love that i have for you and i am living for ash and sam. and i am breathing just for them. how can GOD put so much love around me but tear it away at any given moment? did you want to go back to heaven CJ after you met me? did you come back down again but to another mother? did you just want to touch base on earth? are you coming later in another baby that i will birth? WHERE are you? are you just hanging out with GOD? looking down on your daddy and me being sad and torturing ourselves and destroying our lives because of the pain? are you clueless and can not see or hear or know us? will we meet you after we die? is your dad going to heaven? i would venture to guess that he would not. but then again, maybe i will not,if i am not good enough, i will go to hell, and i will never see you. and what about if your sisters arent good enough or maybe some of us go to heaven and some to hell. is that not hell just wondering? what if ash or sam are taken off this earth before me? i just want to die right now just thinking about that possibility. maybe life IS hell. i dont know anything CJ. i just know that i do not understand. and i just know that i love you. and that i miss you. thats what it comes back to. |
Thursday, February 11th 2010 - 08:22:25 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hey big guy,How is Nanas boy doing today? We are in the middle of a great big snow storm.Everyone is off from work and school today.Its only 10 in the morning and it is suppose to snow till tonight.Oh boy with all this snow we could make a really big snowman.It makes me so sad to know that I will never be able to do these things with you.God how I miss and think of you all the time.You are 2 years and 4 months old already.Your little brother David Jayce is going to be 1 already on Washingtons birthday.We are having a birthday party for him on sunday feb. 21st at the Raccoon club.Nana will send all the balloons up to you on that day.Your beautiful mommy is still waiting to have a dream of you and so is Nana.Watch over all of us and keep us safe angel baby.Till we are together again,all my love to you,your nana Kim. |
Wednesday, February 10th 2010 - 07:15:50 AM
| Bianca LeAnn Conroy: |
|
I love you so much. I hope that you are playing with other children and laughing away sitting on your pawpaw's knee listening to his made-up stories. Tell Madeline and Cole hello for their mommy's too..they miss them very much.
Love Always, Mommy |
Tuesday, February 9th 2010 - 09:56:10 PM
| charles commander : |
|
Dear Son,
i miss you so much. i love you so much. i wish that you could have stayed on earth with mommy. i think about you every single day. how does GOD expect me to just be happy when such a big part of me was ripped away? CJ, I LOVE YOU. Mommy |
Tuesday, February 9th 2010 - 08:58:24 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| I Love You Baby w/ all My Heart & I Miss You Sooo Much, Wish You We're Here w/ Me Every Single day. My Life Is Truly Not the Same w/o You, I Wanna See You Walk & Talk.......Hopefully One Day I Will, and I Get To Hold You Again, Until Then Take Care My Sweet Angel, Sleep Tight My Little Warrior You are Always Thought of.......Hugs n Kisses......Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Tuesday, January 26th 2010 - 05:57:50 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hey there little man.How are you? Nana cant sleep AGAIN,its almost 300 a.m. We are half way through January already.Its been a little warmer these past few days so all the snow is melting.I cant wait for spring to get here already.Ninny Nana is still at Kirkland rehab and I wish she was doing better then she is,Her broken hip is healing,but she has a lot of lower back pain and really is not eating enough food to keep her going.I am really worried about her,I want her to stay here with us a little longer.I think I have Fibromyalgia and I hurt so bad all the time.I am going to see a Doctor on Monday.Please pray for me that it will help me cos I sure dont want to feel like this for the rest of my earthly existence.Nana and Pappy bought a new car it is a dodge caliber and it is a silver metallic color.A 2009.Lexi and mommy really like it.Your mommy is such a beautiful young women and she tries so hard.I wish I could buy her a new car.I wish that you could have stayed with us a little while longer so you could have got to know her and know her loving and patient ways.Remember Jaycie Honey we are still waiting to have a dream of you.Some people say that it could take 3 years or more till we can dream of the ones we love who have left us.Nana just had a glass of warm milk with grated nutmeg in it.I sure hope it helps me to fall asleep.My mind and thoughts are becoming so fuzzy from not sleeping anymore.I am thinking of and loving and missing you so so much little fellow.How I wish you were here.Have a good night and have a fun filled day tomorrow and always know you are in our hearts and our thoughts.Much Love to Nanas little Jaycie Rylan,my sweet sweet grandson of mine.Kisses,Your nana Kim |
Saturday, January 16th 2010 - 12:00:11 AM
| baby: |
|
i never got to feel you move or even find out if you were a wonderful little boy or precious little girl but i still think of you everyday and wonder why this had to happen. i just want you to know that i love you and always have you in my heart.
mommy. |
Thursday, January 14th 2010 - 07:57:21 PM
| "charles j commander v": |
|
Dear Son,
I hope that you liked your cake and present for your birthday celebration.. I love you and miss you! i hope that you are happy with god. and i will be with you when i pass through this life. keep an eye on your sisters and dont forget that i love you and think about you every day. I Love You, Mommy |
Tuesday, January 12th 2010 - 08:20:53 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Happy New Year Jayce! Your Little Brother was up off & on until 8am......He's used to being at his house to sleep, so Mommy's extremely Tired Right Now, Were all Driving Back Home Now & I'm stuck in the Hatchback! I Miss You Baby....one of my 1st thoughts Lastnite was "wow Jayce will be gone 3yrs. this year",I still just cant believe that I have been w/o you for this Long Already. Your brother David is Going to be 1yr. old in February.....Kids grow up too fast, honestly It doesn't feel like I gave birth to your Sister 5yrs. ago......Is Life just going to keep flying by like this? I feel like since I turned 18 everything started speeding up, that was 6yrs ago & I look back at everything like "where did the time go"? Well if time keeps going like this I guess we will be seeing eachother sooner than I Think! I Can't ever describe How Much I Love You, Wish I could have Showed You. Every Year I hope for a better year than the last, but truth be told I can't Get this out my mind & No Matter what year it is I still find Myself Stuck in 2007 when I Lost You, I would do Anything To Have You Back In My Life, If that could be I would be so Much Happier than I am. I Cherish Your Brother & Sissy but theres Always a Special Little Guy Missing and We ALL Love & Miss& Wish You Were Physically with us.....Have A Great Time Today Angel, I wonder if you like Snow? We sure have been getting alot lately!! Take Care My Little Warrior, God, Take Care of My Precious Son........Hugs n Kisses..........Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo HAPPY NEW YEAR xoxoxoxoxoxo |
Friday, January 1st 2010 - 02:31:04 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hey there little fellow.Nana and Pappy want to wish you a Happy Happy New Year.Hard to believe it is now 2010.I wanted to write you over Christmas,but our hard drive crashed and we just got it fixed.How was your Christmas up in Heaven? I bet you got your very own pony.Do you get to play with our puppy boy? I bet you do.How we wish you were here with us this Holiday.We all would have spoiled you just like we spoiled your little brother and 2 sisters.Quess what? Little David is starting to walk already.I talked to your mommy this morning and she says he can now take 5 steps all by himself.He learned how to crawl up steps real fast over Christmas.My you are getting to be such a big boy.2 years old already.Mommy and I are still waiting to have a dream of you.We miss you and love you more and more everyday.Does it snow up in Heaven?Do you and all the little angels go sleigh riding?How about snowball fights and building igloos?Ohhh my sweet little grandson,my Jaycie Rylan I MISS YOU.I still want you here with me.I dont think it will ever get any easier.Just know that I think of you each and everyday and I will love,honor and keep you in my heart and my memories until we are together again.Much much love honey Jayce.Have a great New Year. Your Nana Kim. |
Friday, January 1st 2010 - 10:49:48 AM
| Eva and "wally": |
|
My precious Eva and “Wally”…
I miss you. My heart is broken that I never got to meet you. I never got to listen to your sweet baby noises, calm you when teething, wake up with you 4 times a night to feed you, or watch you ride your bikes for the first time. We waited for you for 2 whole years. The morning I took that pregnancy test, expecting nothing but a negative, I could not believe that I was really going to get another wad of pure joy (or 2). It took days to sink in, although immediately I was on the internet looking up names, looking to see how old you were in there, and trying to find out exactly what day I would get to see you, and hold you in my arms. Daddy wanted me to wait to tell anyone until Christmas so that we could surprise the family with our great news. But I could not stand it, I was so excited. So I told Amelie first. She asked immediately if she could hold you when you came out. I told her yes, of course, and asked her what we should name you. She thought for a minute, and said “Eva.” And then added “and Wally too.” She informed me later that I was going to have 3 babies…”one for her, one for Mommy, and one for Daddy.” While in Denver, I was driving in the car, and a Christmas song came on that I had heard many times before…Little Drummer Boy by Jars of Clay. I was singing along with it when I heard kids singing too, which as I remembered, was not a part of that song, so I stopped singing to listen to this “newer version” of this song I knew. But when I stopped singing, the kids voices disappeared. I thought it strange, but began to sing again, and kids started singing with me at the same time. I smiled, and just felt like those kids were my babies inside me, singing about “the finest gifts we bring…to the newborn King” with me…I know, it sounds weird. Maybe it was just my childhood dream, but I felt from the beginning that you were twins. Other people thought so too. Your Great Aunt Liz told me Christmas Day that she had a feeling it would be twins. Of course that just added to my excitement. Well, on Prestons birthday, I started to feel the symptoms of losing you. A sickening feeling, although I had so much denial about it at first. I looked online for any hope that this pain I was feeling could be justified in some other way than losing you. I put Amelie to bed that night, and as I was laying down with her, I told her that our baby died. To my surprise, at 3 ½ years old, she seemed to know what that meant. She immediately began to cry, and asked why I didn’t let her hold you. Then she asked if she could still hold “Wally” when he came out. We cried together for a while, and then laughed a bit after Amelie quit crying, and was trying to imitate my crying noises. She told me today (New Years Eve) that she “misses Eva, and that we can have another baby soon.” No one will be able to replace you, though. No matter if I had 22 more children, I will always mourn not getting to see you, just getting to dream about you. Nothing can describe this pain I feel right now, I had made plans for our family with you, and now, you are not here, and I am slowly coming to the realization that you will not be. I feel like my body betrayed both you and our whole family. I’ve lost the “innocence of pregnancy” and traded it for “fear of another miscarriage,” although Daddy and I have been talking about how blesses we are to have what we already have…you have a precious big brother that would have loved you and taken care of you so well, and a sweet princess big sister that you would have had sooooo much fun with. It makes me sad for them, that they are missing out on you too. I do not understand how this amount of pain can come out of just knowing of you for one month, but it is very real, and very hard. Someday, I will meet you. I will meet you in heaven just as God intended you to be…whole, happy, and worshipping your Maker; much more than how I last saw you: a blob in the toilet. Ask God for just a glimmer of hope for me, and know that you are loved and not a day will go by for the rest of my life, that I don’t think about you. Love, your Mommy |
Friday, January 1st 2010 - 12:46:53 AM
| Avory James Raffety: |
|
Hey baby, this is the first letter mommy has written you. I just found this site and thought it would be good to write to you. It's been two months since yesterday since you've been gone and it feels like its been a lifetime. Your sister misses you so much, you have no idea. I sit up at nite thinking of how i wish i could have stopped this. I just hope you know that mommy and sissy think about you every day and wish you couild be here with us. I love you more than anything Avory, i really do.
Love Forever, Mom and Maria |
Wednesday, December 30th 2009 - 09:20:48 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Merry Christmas Baby!! I Hope You Get To Open Lots Of Presents Today, Your Brother & Sister Are So Spoiled, Theres like 75 presents Under The Tree. How I Wish You Could Be With Us, You Would Have Been So Spoiled Too! I Love You With All Of My Heart & I Think About You All The Time, I'm Bringing You A Little Tree Tomorrow, I Hope Your Angel Is Still There. Have A Great Day In Heaven Baby, Hope It's Everything It Would Be If You Were Here! I Just Wanna See Your Handsome Little Face Again....I Need To Have A Dream Of You Where I Actually Get To See You, I Only Dream Of Someone Saying Your Name, But I Never See Your Face, Once I Saw The Back Of Your Head, You Were Walking & I Knew It Was You. At Least If I Could Spend Time With You In My Dreams I Would Wake Up Happier In The Morning, I Just Can't Ever Get Over The Fact That I Lost You, I Miss You Jayce & Love You Soooo Very Much. God Bless You Sweetheart & Keep Watching Over Us. Merry Christmas From Your Brother n Sissy Too!! Sleep Tight Angel, My Little Warrior! Hugs n Kisses.....Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Thursday, December 24th 2009 - 10:37:43 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi Sweetie pie.How have you been?Nana sure has been missing you.It is so hard over the holidays without you here with us.I cant believe Christmas is only a week away.I wish we could all get our wish on Christmas,it would be for us to have you with us.I know mommy is really missing you right now.Can you believe how big your little brother is?He has 8 teeth now.Mommy is coming up for a visit tomorrow with your brother and 2 sisters. I miss them and cant wait to see them.I miss you too so so much.I hope you are happy up there in Heaven.Sometimes down here on earth things happen that make us very sad at times.Your great great Nana Stametz fell and broke her hip 2 weeks ago and she is having a real hard time trying to be strong and get through this.Ask God to watch over here and make her strong and able to walk again.I wonder what Christmas is like where you are.It must be really wonderful.Mommy has a tree and an angel to take to your resting place.Has she brought it yet? How I wish you were here so Nana could spoil you with lots and lots of presents under the tree.I just wanted to write you a little letter and to let you know you are always on my mind and in my heart. I Love You. Take care my sweet little Grandson,my little Jaycie Rylan. Much much Love,hugs and kisses. |
Thursday, December 17th 2009 - 05:29:07 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi Sweetheart, what have u been doing lately? I know you would have achieved so much here w/ me, I knew it when I held you, that you were truly special, sometimes I wonder if that's why God wanted you there. I Love You so much Jayce, I think about you every single day of my Life, I have Never wanted something sooo bad and there is Nothing I can do in my powers to change this, I can only let you know that I care about you tremendously and Always wish you were here, I Love You My Little Angel, Hugs n Kisses.......Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Tuesday, December 8th 2009 - 09:21:43 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| HAPPY THANKSGIVING BABY!!! I hope you had lots of good food to eat today, I was thinking about you alot today, It's your brother's first Turkey Day and I was a Happy, but at the same time I was Missing you alot too, the Holidays just aren't the same without you. i want you to know that I Love You with all of My Heart and I'm still thinking of you, Always. Take care My Little Warrior.....Goodnight My Angel, Love Mommy |
Thursday, November 26th 2009 - 06:48:14 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good morning to Nanas precious little boy.How have you been sweetheart? Boy have I really been missing you and thinking of you a lot here of late.On Sunday it will be the second year of you going to be with the angels.I worry about your beautiful mommy at this time of the year.I still dont know where or how she gets the strength to go on as she does and to be so strong.Your memorial at St, Christophers Hospital is coming up soon.I hope I will be able to go to it with your mommy and sister and brother. How was your Halloween? How I wish we could take just a little peak into heaven to see you for a few minutes and know you are happy healthy and being taken care of.Still no dreams little Jayce,for mommy or Nana.I wish we could each just have one little dream of you in it some night.See what you can do Ok?It will soon be Thanksgiving down here on Earth and then Christmas.It is just not the same anymore since you left us. I miss you and I love you so so much,I still keep wishing that you were here with us.Will the ache of loosing you ever lessen for us? I kind of doubt it.Nana just made a gooey chocolate black raspberry cake for work.I sure wish you were here to take a big bite out of it and say "Yum Yum nannie". Your little brother is getting really big.He crawls all over the place and I bet he will be walking before Christmas.He has one tooth on the bottom and he says momma,dadda and sometimes Nana.I often wonder what you look like now,but honestly I look at David Jayce and I believe he looks like you,my handsome little angel boy.Nana has to get ready for work now,But I just wanted to take a minute and say hello to you and tell you how very much you are loved and missed by all of us.Much much love to you my little honey boy Jaycie. eternal Love, Nana Kim |
Friday, November 6th 2009 - 05:42:34 AM
| Alec Morgan: |
|
Hello little man -
this is the first time i am writing to you - i just wanted to let you know how much i wish i could have met you. We all do. I want to let you know also that your mommy is doing better although she misses you all the time! You are always in our thoughts and prayers. We love you! Troy, Allison, Hunter |
Thursday, October 29th 2009 - 06:43:29 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAYCE! My Sweet Angel,I Hope that you are having a Great Day in Heaven, just wish we could Celebrate it here together. It's been very hard on me to write you lately and stop by your resting place, yesterday was the 1st time I was at your resting place in over a month, Uncle Larry and I brought that beautiful White flower bouquet to you...Hope you like them! I just cannot believe that you are 2 years old today, I guess it will never feel as long as it actually is, because I think about you everyday so your Memory will Always be alive. Your Cousin Michelle had a Dream with you in it lastnight, you were here at Mommy's house and your crib was in my room and your little brother was still here in the nursery, I was upset because I never had a Dream with your face in it, but then I thought maybe that means that you are still with me in some way and I just don't know it. I truly believe that Little David was sent to me because I lost you, and I feel that he knows who you are and there's a part of your Soul in him. I gotta go get Lex from school soon, she Loves you and Misses you sooo much, you have such a Smart, Sweet, Loving Sister and I wish you two could of spent more time and got to know eachother, She Honors you Baby, she still always talks about you, it's just not fair. I thank God everyday for my babies but I yell at him for not being able to take you home with me, I feel it was a huge mistake, because no matter what I do or how much fun I am having doing it, there will always be a piece Missing, and that is you. I know I always say how handsome you must be, can't I just take a peek so I can have a mental picture? I know I can't, but it would be nice. I just keep thinking how I would be getting ready for your Party today, probably at Chuck E Cheese or something, and how Happy I would be to Celebrate my Son turning 2! Instead I'm coming to your resting place to sing you Happy Birthday and going out to eat without you. It's amazing how much I can Love somebody that was only here for a short time, I will Never stop Loving, Caring and Missing you Jayce. Have A Wonderful Birthday Baby, I hope it's not raining like it is down here. I LOVEYOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, Hugs n Kisses To my Warrior Angel....Your Mommy Forever xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxxoxxoxoxoxo HAPPY BIRTHDAY xoxoxxoxoxox |
Thursday, October 15th 2009 - 11:24:08 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Happy Happy 2nd Birthday to Nanas little boy.I bet the sun is shinning up in heaven and you are having a great big birthday party.How we all miss you so much little fellow.It just cant be 2 years already.To Nana it still seems like only yesterday that I held you in my arms.Mommy and Lexi and little brother David and Nana and Pappy are coming down to your resting place tonight.It hope it is not going to rain.We bought you a new little night light and Nana has a little pumpkin for you and a little scarecrow to make your spot look nice.I just wish that the caretakers would stop taking off the things we bring to you.It has been such a sad couple of weeks for us.We miss puppy boy so so much.Are you and all the little angels playing with him and going for rides on his back? He was such a big puppy.Pappy Jack is now in Heaven too.Tell him to read a story to you.Maybe Pappy is now the conductor on a big train up in heaven that takes you for a ride everyday.I only know that my arms ache for you sweet Jaycie and I would give anything to have you back where you belong with all of us who love you so dearly. Have a wonderful 2nd birthday today and know how much you are loved.LOVE AND MISS YOU forever and a day,Your Nana Kim |
Thursday, October 15th 2009 - 06:02:06 AM
| Jesse Lee Shortsle: |
|
Hey Jesse! *kiss*
Your daddy and i stayed up late last night talking about you. Sometime I almost forget how much he is hurting to. You know him always the tuff silent type. Oh one of my angel mommy friends made you the cute it's little blanket. It so pretty and white. Jesse Bear is keeping it safe for you. We miss you so much. I cant believe Next mouth it would have been a whole year without you. You where only here for such a short time but you have changed our lives forever. I love you Mommy |
Sunday, October 11th 2009 - 07:16:29 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good morning baby boy.How have you been doing?Next Thursday you are going to be 2 years old already.My goodness it is hard to believe that 2 years have passed by so quickly.I wish so much you could be here for a great big birthday party.We are all coming down to your resting place next Thursday night and Nana will read a poem and we will all sing Happy Birthday to our sweet little Jaycie.I know you are watching from up in heaven and as you can see your little brother David is getting so so big.7 months old now and he is crawling all over the place.Oh my beautiful little grandson,how I wish you were here.I wish that each and every day of my life.It is so hard for Nana not to be able to do anything about missing you and wanting you here.It hurts so much.It is raining today,so Nana is making a big pot of chicken soup.When Nana gets to heaven I will make you all of my good soups and you will say" Yum Yum Nana".Have a good day and know how much you are loved by all of us.Much much Love to you Jayce,Your Nana,Pappy and your Mommy too. WE LOVE YOU........ |
Wednesday, October 7th 2009 - 05:08:31 AM
| Jesse Lee Shortsle: |
|
hi sweet one!
mommy just has time to say i love you and i miss you. angel kisses to you and all your angel friends. Mommy |
Saturday, October 3rd 2009 - 06:00:01 AM
| Jesse Lee Shortsle: |
|
Hey Baby,
Mom been having a really hard week. it been so hard i was thinking about joining you. I know I can't do that thou. Mommy trying so hard. Your daddy has been helping me too. Sometimes just when i think I'm at my wits end, he hold me in his arms and tell me that I have to make it, to get to see you again. That makes me works so much harder to survive. I have to live with the hope i will see you again someday. I love you. Be with your Mommy She needs an angel looking after her. |
Tuesday, September 22nd 2009 - 04:45:48 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good Morning Jaycie,How are you doing today? Happy first day of Autumn sweetheart.WOW in a little less then a month your are going to be 2 years old already.I just can not believe it.Oh how much your Nana misses you.I think of you each and every day.Sometime it gets really hard for your Nana to keep on plugging in this world,there are times it just seems that it gets too hard and I feel like giving up and saying Whats the use? Pappy and Nanas puppy boy Sammy passed away Sat. morning at 10:00 a.m. He was the BEST DOG on the planet.Nana had spent a lot of time with him over the past few years.He really was my buddy,now I feel so lost without him.Pappy is really sad,he was Pappys buddy for 13 years.We buried him in the sheep pasture under a great big old white mulberry tree.If Sammy is up in Heaven with you Jayce please wrap your arms around him and tell him how much we love and miss him.Pappy also lost a very good friend of his,Ben, he was only 48 and he went to heaven last Sunday morning.Pappys great Uncle Paul also passed away this week.Please watch over your Pappy and help keep him strong. Your little brother David is going to be 7 months old tomorrow.Isnt he a cutie? How I wish you could have stayed with us and been his BIG brother.Lexi is really a big girl now and going to school.She loves school and she is 5 years old now.Mommy misses you so so much,I know how hard it is for her at times.You are and will always be a part of all of us.In all we do we always think of you and how nice it would be if you could be here and be a loving part of our lives.We would all feel so more complete. I LOVE YOU SWEET GRANDSON OF MINE. Have a good day in heaven.Millions of kisses and hugs to you and to Sammy. Much Love,Your Nana Kim |
Monday, September 21st 2009 - 05:45:33 AM
| Jesse Lee Shortsle: |
|
We miss you.I think about you everyday. I hope your having lots of fun playing with the other angels. try not to worry about your momma to much. It hurts to be without you but I know i'll be ok with i get to see you again. You daddy missing you to, more then he would like me to know about. When i came to bed last night he was snuggling your teddy bear. He is lost with out you too.
We will see you again someday. I love you. Mommy |
Friday, September 18th 2009 - 06:57:01 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
|
Hi sweetheart what have you been doing lately? I miss you soooo much. Your little brother is getting so big he is trying to crawl, but he goes backwards! Your big SOS started school, she loves it so much that I think she would rather be there than at home with me! I love them so much but I always wish that you were here with us. You would be running around laughing and playing , I cannot believe that you are going to be 2 this october, you must be getting so big, I just wish I could take a peek into Heaven and see what and who you look like and how handsome you are! I know you are sooo cute I picture in my head what you look like and I think I'm pretty close. I hope you are happy where you are at and you are getting to do all the baby/kid things that you would have done here on earth. I love you so so much and I just wish I could hold you and give you tons of kisses. I will never forget you my little warrior I will miss and love and cherish you forever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Monday, August 31st 2009 - 07:22:14 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi Sweetheart...I was just looking at your pictures and I gave them kisses so I decided to talk to you for a little. Can't believe my Angel is gonna be 2 years old this October already, where does the time go? I also cant believe that your little brother is 6 months old tomorrow, I know I say this an awful lot but it still does not feel like almost two years have passed already, maybe it's because I think about you sooo much, you know you are always on my mind lil man, and everyday I wish that you were here with Mommy and brother and sissy.I will never ever understand Why we couldn't experience this life together but I have hope that we will one day, maybe in a different life but at least we will be together again. How I long to see all my children playing and even arguing together! Wish I had the power to change what happened and have you by my side every single day, like I do your brother. I hope you watch over us and are very proud of us all, and I hope you feel the love that we have for you where you are. I will Love You and Miss You for the rest of my life until we meet again, I will cherish you and your Memory . I LOVE YOU JAYCE!!! Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo....and a Million More |
Friday, August 21st 2009 - 09:47:54 AM
| Baby Angel & Baby Angel Boy : |
|
Dear Mommy & Daddy's Little Angels,
Today is the second year anniversary of your early departure and since then you have been joined by your little brother I hope that you and your brother are having fun up in heaven and you are watching over mommy and daddy until the day that we get to heaven to see you. I can't wait fo the day that I get to hold you guys in my arms and kiss your little hands and toes. Until then I know you are with us I can feel you in the wind, the rain and in the beutiful rays of the morning sun. When I feel sad i go to the garden that we made for you and tell you the events of the day and how much we miss you and how I can't wait to see you. I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU AND LOVE YOU FOREVER. All Our Love, Mommy and Daddy |
Thursday, August 6th 2009 - 12:35:33 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hello little boy,How is Nanas angel doing on this beautiful summer day? I just cant fathom that you left us all 21 months ago today.It will always feel like it was just yesterday. How I miss you sweet little Jaycie,the pain in my heart will never go away.Your little brother is sick with a virus right now,he just got home from the Doctors office with mommy.They say it will last about a week.Poor little David Jayce,watch over him for all of us OK? How I wish I could see you one more time if just for a few minutes.You must be so so big by now.I ache each and every day for you honey boy and there is nothing I can do to make the ache go away.It is something I just have to learn to live with and boy is it hard to do.I Love you so very very much.I just wanted to say hello and let you know I think of you each and every day and I cant wait until I see you again.millions and zillions of love,hugs and kisses to you Jayce Rylan,my sweet innocent perfect precious first born grandson. Eternal love,Nana Kim Sutliff xxxxoxoxoxoxoxxxxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox |
Thursday, August 6th 2009 - 10:57:51 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi Baby Boy...Mommy is at Nana's so I can write to you from her computer, come Monday I will write you much more because I get my internet hooked up. You have no idea how much I still Miss and care for you, your little brother is 5 months now and how I wish every single day that you two could play and learn together. Sissy Alexiyah, Kiana are going to help us pick flowers for you and I'm coming to drop them off as soon as I leave here. So...How is My Big Boy doing in Heaven? I bet you're running around getting into everything there with your Angel friends, but remember Mommy will always be your bestist friend!!! I LOVE YOU My Little Warrior and pray everynight that one day I will see you again, I know you are such a handsome little man, it just upsets Mommy that we couldn't be with eachother physically, but I know you watch over me and your Family and love us all as much as we love you. I will hold you in my Heart Forever n Ever, until we meet again and then we can hold eachother for Eternity. Your Sissy Bday party is on the 15th of August and we will send you lots of balloons from the party. I Love You Angel Baby and I will talk with you again real soon, take care Sweetheart.....Mommy xoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoo |
Thursday, July 30th 2009 - 01:25:38 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good afternoon to our sweet little Jaycie Rylan. How have you been angel baby? We sure do miss you so so much.This is your Nana Kim writing this,but since your mommy still can not text you on her new cell phone,Nana is writing to you on her behalf. Mommy loves you and misses you so much honey boy,still a day or night does not go by that you are not on her mind,in her thoughts and in her heart.She has so much love for you and I know she would give anything to see and be with you again.Whoever said it gets easier with time is completely full of shit. Nana brought mommy some beautiful flowers from her garden to bring up to your resting place.Guess what? Nana and Pappy have 12 new baby chickens that hatched last week,they are so cute and fluffy.I wish you could be here to help Nana take care of all the animals.Big sister Alexiyah sends you love,hugs and kisses and misses you to to much.What do you think of your little brother David?Take good care little buddy.We all love you.From mommy,Nana sis,Pappy and little David.a Million kisses sweet Jaycie. |
Monday, July 27th 2009 - 12:41:54 PM
| charles commander: |
|
dear son of mine,
I LOVE YOU. please tell GOD the words that daddy said to me. cj, i miss you so much! i cant believe that you are not with me. i know that god knows what he is doing. it is so difficult down here on earth to know though. i cant wait to see you when i die. i will try my best to be good so that i can go to heaven too. have fun playing in heaven. i love you, mommy |
Wednesday, July 22nd 2009 - 10:24:48 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Sweet Jaycie Rylan,Good evening to our little warrior. How are you doing tonight? This is your Nana Kim writing to you on behalf of your beautiful mommy. Mommy got a new cell phone and for some dumb reason she is not able to text you on the new cell phone,so she asked Nana if she could write you a letter for her. So here it goes.I miss you and I love you more then words could ever say sweet son of mine. Today has been a very hard day for me and you have been on my mind constantly.The 8th of every month and the 13th of every month is so very hard for me too.Time goes by so quickly and it is so hard to believe that you are 21 months old already today. I would have gladly traded my life with you,so that you could have lived,there is nothing I would have not done for you to be here today with all the ones that love you so so very much.I know that you have been treated out of knowing your big sister Alexiyah and your little brother David Jayce.What a joy it would have been for both of them to have known you,there sweet innocent perfect brother. Alexiyah often speaks of you and little David looks at your pictures and I know deep down in my heart that he knows of you and what a special little child you are. I wish for you sweet eternal peace and also for you to know That I will love you forever and I shall carry and honor your memory inside of me each and every day until it is my time to be reunited with you once again. Sleep tight my little warrior and eternal love to you.a million kisses and hugs,I Love You Jayce,Your Mommy Lindsay.xxxoxooxoxoxxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoo |
Wednesday, July 15th 2009 - 06:38:33 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good morning to my sweet angel baby Jaycie,How are you today? What have you been up to latley? Nana and Pappy and Lexi and little David and Kiana and big David all went camping over the 4th of July week-end.We had a lot of fun.Your little brother was floating around in a little yellow baby floater and he looked so cute and had a good time.Your brother is such a good little boy,he smiles all the time and is always so pleasant. I know that you would have been such a good little boy too.Oh little honey boy,how I wish you could be right here with all of us and getting to do all the things that we do as a family.Remember ninnie Nannie? She walked up to your resting place the other day and she had flowers for you,but she could not find where you are.Poor Nana she is getting so old and tired.She is going to be 90 years old in September.So she left the vase of flowers at some other childs resting place.I am sure you didnt mind.Nana wants to come down to you and bring you a great big bunch of flowers,cos all of your nanas beautiful flowers are blooming right now.Is it really possible that you are going to be 2 years old in a few months? What do you think of your new little brother? He sure is a little porker huh? Almost 20 pounds already.I think the doctors want to put him on a diet,but mommy says NO.My friend Bill from up at work just got to Heaven the other day,so say hi to him and let him know that I am your Nana OK?Is Michael Jackson up there with you?Is he singing songs to all you little angels at night? God Jaycie how I miss you it breaks my heart I can not hold you and see you as you are growing up.You must be the most beautiful little boy there.Remember I shall Love you forever and ever and one day I will get to lay my eyes on you once more.Sending you a million kisses and hugs. All my love to you,my sweet little boy,my little Jaycie Rylan.Sweet dreams and God bless. Love,from your nana and pappy too. |
Thursday, July 9th 2009 - 04:56:56 AM
| Penny June Palmer: |
| Hey baby girl...wow its been a long time since i have written to you. Doesnt mean that i havent been thinking about you. i think about you every single day. Your sister and brother miss you so bad. so does daddy. did you get my balloon and letter that i wrote to you?? i hope nanna is taking care of you up there in heaven. i love and miss you soooooo much babygirl!!! love always, mommy. |
Friday, June 26th 2009 - 04:26:16 AM
| cj commander v: |
|
my baby,
its fathers day today cj. maybe you can let your daddy know that you can see him or are with him. he doesnt believe in GOD or heaven or anything really. i wish that he could know you. i wish that you could show him the same signs that you show me. or that he could SEE the signs that you probably are already Trying to show him that you do exist and that you are a spirit soaring around in lime green. please know that mommy loves you and misses you every moment of every day. it is a silent remembrance. everyone would not understand if they knew how much i want to talk about you or tell them how much i love you. ive tried to just mention you or my love for you or how much i miss you. but everyone gets uncomfortable. or they tell me not to torture myself. im sorry that i dont talk about you much CJ. people just dont understand though. please know my thoughts and that way you will know just how much i am thinking about you. cj, go be with daddy today and let him know you are there. let him know for sure. so that he knows your love and knows that there is a life after death. i love you so much. and i miss you. |
Sunday, June 21st 2009 - 06:52:36 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good morning sweet little Jaycie,Oh how Nana has been missing you.Pappy bought Nana a beautiful camper last week and it just breaks my heart that you wont be able to go along with us when we all go camping.You big sister Lexi just loves it.She says its a little house on wheels.Your little brother David Jayce is getting so so big.Almost 4 months old and 20 pounds.Time goes by so fast,it scares me.I cant believe that you are 20 months old now.What do you look like honey? I wish I could know.Your mommy misses you so much.Everyday you are on her mind.She still has not had a dream about you.How I wish she could.I sent some flowers with mommy yesterday for you,so I am sure she will be up to your resting place today.Oh God,why did you have to GO? I miss you and love you and ache to hold and Love you like I do all my grand children.It breaks my heart each and every moment of every day.I hope you have a wonderful day today Jaycie,and I hope one day I get to heaven so I can see you again. It is just so unfair and there is nothing that can take away the heartache.I Love you,I Love you and I love you some more.All my Love to you my sweet innocent little honey boy,Nanas little Jayce.A million kisses and hugs to you.Your Nana Kim |
Friday, June 19th 2009 - 05:45:31 AM
| charles j commander v: |
|
my precious son,
daddy is ok. thank god. i miss you so much cj. i love you so much. life is so hard here for me. i am too sensitive to pain. i hurt. i wish i was up there with you and god. all there is is time to wait down here on earth. repeating same day over and over and over like groundhog day. it is maddening. thank you for coming into my life and touching my soul and mommy misses you more than anyone will ever know. i love you and please watch over your sisters. xoxoxxoxoo love forever mommy |
Saturday, June 13th 2009 - 04:43:02 PM
| charles j commander v: |
|
my precious son,
daddy is ok. thank god. i miss you so much cj. i love you so much. life is so hard here for me. i am too sensitive to pain. i hurt. i wish i was up there with you and god. all there is is time to wait down here on earth. repeating same day over and over and over like groundhog day. it is maddening. thank you for coming into my life and touching my soul and mommy misses you more than anyone will ever know. i love you and please watch over your sisters. xoxoxxoxoo love forever mommy |
Saturday, June 13th 2009 - 04:42:55 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| My Sweet Little Angel, how I miss you and wanna hold you so bad. I wanted to write you on the 8th but its hard for mommy. I always wake up in a bad mood on the 8th of each month and I can't figure out why I feel like this until I notice the date, its like my mind simultaneously does it. Its so hard to believe that you will be 20 months old on the 15th and you have already been gone for 19 months. I wish we could of spent more time together. Its crazy how much your little brother looks like you, you are such handsome little men, how I wish you could be here to give him and your sister lots of hugs and kisses, your big sis Alexiyah still talks about you a lot. I hope you hear us say Goodnight to you and tell you how much we love and miss you. I was at Nana Kims house today with your brother and I look at your pictures and think how I should have my 3 babies with me, its so unfair. Nana gave me some more beautiful flowers to bring to you so I will be over tomorrow with them. Sleep tight my Little Warrior and I will talk with you again real soon. Hugs n Kisses Forever n ever, I LOVE YOU JAYCE...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Wednesday, June 10th 2009 - 07:56:25 PM
| cj commander V: |
| watch over your daddy. he is in too much pain. he is in the ocean somewhere trying to make it back to the states. he took off without any planning. and wrecked in the bahamas. i KNOW you are watching over him. even though he doesnt love mommy anymore, our love exists as PURE with you in heaven. please tell GOD to keep him safe. |
Wednesday, June 10th 2009 - 01:50:19 PM
| cj commander V: |
| watch over your daddy. he is in too much pain. he is in the ocean somewhere trying to make it back to the states. he took off without any planning. and wrecked in the bahamas. i KNOW you are watching over him. even though he doesnt love mommy anymore, our love exists as PURE with you in heaven. please tell GOD to keep him safe. |
Wednesday, June 10th 2009 - 01:50:06 PM
| cj commander V: |
| oh my little cj. i miss you so much! thank you for the lime green heart. and for being so near me at a moments notice. i knew from the moment i saw you that my life had changed once more. your sisters are my life. they keep me alive.i feel that i dont belong in heaven with you. but i work very hard to see the signs of WHAT i am here for on earth, and try very hard to stay sane, and be kind, and to love! i dont want to be in heaven if you are not there. or if your sisters, my precious daughters arent bound to go there. i love you cj and my love is the same as the first day that i met you. no measure exists. GOD is now and here with me and my love for you is unbreakable. i love you cj. please know that i love you!! each day is so difficult down here on earth. it is for everyone alive. everyone does not know why they are alive or maybe they are TOO sure of why they are alive, or are just guessing. noone really knows deep down inside. please ask god to go easy on my lifes lessons right now, i am so weak and in pain mentally and emotionally. but if he has a lesson that he wants me to learn, to just PLEASE SHOW it to me in no uncertain terms. a VERY clear SIGN is what i would need right now because my head is in a fog. i love you my son. i am happy that none of lifes pains can touch you and i am happy that a part of my dna and your daddys dna IS with you. we are ALL together in some way that is pure and concrete and unconditional. |
Wednesday, June 10th 2009 - 01:43:32 PM
| Victoia Lynn and Aaden James Marshall: |
|
to my dear sweet babies
it is funny to me to think that you would be 1 and 3 this year. it only seems like yesterday that you were with me me and daddy miss you so much. there isnta day that goes by that i dont think about you a dozen or more times i still wonder if it will get any easier i miss you so much i ache to hold you in my arms. the only comfort i have is that knowing one day i will see your bright and shineing faces. till i can see you in heaven yuo remain my forever angels i love you always and and forever love Mommy |
Saturday, June 6th 2009 - 06:13:31 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good evening little honey boy.How is nanas little Jaycie doing tonight? I miss you so very much,I LOVE you so very much.Mommy is really missing you Jaycie,I wish there was something I could do to make her feel a little bit better.It is just a terrible awful feeling when there is nothing that can be done to ease all of our grief just a little.I went to a viewing this afternoon for a 79 year old Lady friend that lives here in the grove.Her name is Helen.This was the first funeral I went to since yours and it was really hard to go,but I felt it was the right thing to do and pay my last respects.Your Pappy has been having a pretty hard time here of late.I love him so very much and he is such a wonderful man.Maybe you could say something to GOD for him and things could get a little bit easier.What do you think of your little brother David? How about that big sister of yours,Lexi,she sure is getting big.Hard to believe she is going to start school in the fall.I wonder what time is like where you are? Here on Earth it sure does seem to go by fast.I hope to see your mommy this week sometime and I will send some beautiful flowers for her to give you.I think of you everyday little man and every day I wish you were here.I send you a billion kisses and hugs and I shall Love you for all eternity.Sleep well tonight,my sweet innocent grandson,my little Jaycie Rylan. All my love to you,Your nana Kim. |
Sunday, May 31st 2009 - 04:16:17 PM
| Jamari Charles Moore: |
| Hi Nana boy grannie haven't written you in a while, but that doesn't mean that your not in my heart. I know that God, grandad and you are having lots of fun. I know that you are being a good boy. Your Mom is also sending you all of her love. Sweet dreams Jamari until grannie see you. |
Friday, May 29th 2009 - 01:29:50 PM
| Baby Angel Smith: |
|
My sweet Baby Angel,
Four years ago today is the day your heart stopped beating without me knowing for another 4 weeks. I was so excited to have you inside me, and was busy planning for your arrival in the months ahead. I miss you so much still, and I am so sorry I never got to hold you in my arms, Baby. You will always hold a special place in my heart, and I dream about the day we will meet in Heaven. Love you so much sweetheart. Love, Mommy |
Friday, May 22nd 2009 - 12:28:16 PM
| Baby Angel Smith: |
|
My sweet Baby Angel,
Four years ago today is the day your heart stopped beating without me knowing for another 4 weeks. I was so excited to have you inside me, and was busy planning for your arrival in the months ahead. I miss you so much still, and I am so sorry I never got to hold you in my arms, Baby. You will always hold a special place in my heart, and I dream about the day we will meet in Heaven. Love you so much sweetheart. Love, Mommy |
Friday, May 22nd 2009 - 12:28:15 PM
| Breanna Gabriel Dimeo: |
|
Hello angel, im sure you know that i am missing you terribly and that will never change but things have been so strange for me lately i have recently found out that i am pregnant with your brother or sister and though i am happy it is a bitter sweet happiness because at the same time i am scared to death of all of the possible things that could go wrong and at the same time i am selfish because i think of my sanity if something were to happen! Crazy i know! Sometimes i compare this pregnancy to my pregnancy with you and to be honest everything that happens with this baby reminds me of the joy of having you along with the pain of losing you! you would be two in july and i am still so taken with greif that i know i can never get over! People tell me that i have to let go and that the way i keep you with me in my thoughts and conversation is unheallthy i guess it makes people uncomfortablel to hear about you because they dont know how to react and littl do they know i dont excpect pity i just like to talk about you and honor your memory im your mommy its my job! Jst like if you were still here yoou were and always will be my heart and my world! I can't love you any less because you are gone! Every baby i see makes me wonder what you would be like now! My own pregnancy still feels like im pregnant with you all over again i know im not but in so many ways i carry you with me even though you cannot truly be with me! Well baby girl, i love you always with all of my heart and i miss you just as much! I will write again soon!
Love Always, Mommy! |
Wednesday, May 20th 2009 - 08:23:11 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Oh Jayce, how I've been missing and thinking about you heavily since Mothers Day, its 3am I just put your brother back to sleep and was crying, wishing you were here. Cannot believe you are 19 months old, your brother is getting so big he is almost 3months old and weighs 16lbs 5oz already and everytime I hold him I wish I could do the same with you. I was doing some spring cleaning and came across something that belongs to you, its a frame where a picture goes and has two spots on it where your handprints were suppose to go and there's a poem on it that brought me instantly to tears when I read it. How I wish I could be a part of everything you are doing and experiencing in Heaven. How I wish I could go back in time and change things and bring you home with me from the hospital. I am going to attempt to finish your scrapbook tomorrow so watch over me because its going to be very hard on me. I know that one day I will see that handsome little face of yours but it seems like forever to wait. I want you to know that I love you and cherish you in my memory every single day. My Love for you will never go away, I will always wonder why I couldn't have you here instead of where you are. Mommy Loves you My Little Warrior and Misses you so so much. I'm bringing you more flowers tomorrow, I'm sorry I don't go there a lot its just hard, I like to think of you as a free spirit because I know you are and I know that your energy is still here with me and you still feel my love for you, I hope this is all true. There are so many questions I have and I can't get no answers. Just know that I would do anything to have you back and my heart and arms will Forever ache to hold you again. Goodnight my Sweet Little Angel and Sweet Dreams, I will talk with you again soon. A million Hugs n Kisses to my Baby, love always...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Monday, May 18th 2009 - 12:48:47 AM
| Natalie Na'kole: |
| they said that u were just a blob of tissue. its been five years and i've had other children, but i still cry myself to sleep sometimes and my arms still ache for you. for someone that never existed, you've sure taught me more than a lifetime of living. |
Sunday, May 17th 2009 - 07:41:59 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good evening to Nana and Pappys sweet little angel boy.How are you tonight? You left us 18 months ago this afternoon.I just cant believe you have been gone this long.It still was only yesterday it seems that I held you in my arms.We shall never stop missing you and loving you and wishing you were here with all of us that love you.Your little brother is 2 and a half months old already,and boy is he a big baby.He weights over 15 pounds already.Nana and Pappy saw him yesterday for a little while.He smiles and laughs and look straight in to your soul when you talk to him.He even tries to talk back.I have to say little Jaycie that every time Nana looks at him,I see you honey boy.He is a very strong healthy little grandchild and I thank god for that all the time,BUT I cant help wondering and asking why you too could not have been a strong healthy boy.Oh how nana and pap would have loved you and spoiled you.By now you would have been able to toddle all around the farm and help us get the eggs from the chickens and you could pet cows and the baby sheep and do all kinds of things with us.Man we were really cheated by not having,and knowing you,Our sweet little fellow.But we will always love you and miss you and keep you in our hearts forever.Much much love to you little Jaycie.Nana and Pappy Sutliff.Say hi to little scuffy the cat.I think he may have just got to heaven.nightie night honey. |
Friday, May 8th 2009 - 06:15:57 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi my sweet little angel, how have you been lately? I'm ok trying to keep up after the kids, I miss you sooo much Jayce. I talk to your little brother David about you all the time and he smiles at me, I swear its like he knows who you are, I truly feel like a part of your soul came back to me when I gave birth to him, you two look a lot alike. Can't believe you left me 18 months ago, can't believe that I had another little boy that is over 2 months old already, it feels like my life froze the day that you went with the angels, I wake up every morning and look at your brother and wish so much that I could also wake up and see your handsome little face. I Love You with every part of me, I think you know that. I have to bring you some more flowers soon. I just wanted to talk with you and let you know that I am always thinking about you and I love and care about you more than words could ever say. Take care my little warrior and please If you can, come into my dreams, I would love to see how much you have grown and to know that you are safe and loved where you are. Goodnight sweetheart and I will talk with you again soon...love always, hugs n kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Thursday, May 7th 2009 - 10:19:30 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good morning little sunshine,How is Nanas little Boy today? Oh how I miss you Jaycie.What have you been doing up in heaven these last couple of days? It sure has been warm the past 3 days.90 degrees and we are only in April.Your big sister Lexi has sure been enjoying the warm weather,so has your little brother David.They are both getting so tanned already.Last Thursday Alexiyah registered for Kindergarten.She is getting so big,and she is such a beautiful little girl.I will never stop wishing that you could be here with all your loved ones,running around and playing with your brother and sister.I cant imagine how big you must be by now,but I am sure you are very very handsome.Do you have all the little girls chasing after you? I bet you do.Lots of nanas flowers are in bloom,I have to make sure we bring you some soon.I have to get ready for work now,but I wanted to say hello and that I LOVE YOU and MISS YOU with all of my heart.I think of you everyday and DEAR JAYCE,you will always be a part of me.MUCH MUCH LOVE TO OUR LITTLE ANGEL BOY.YOUR NANA KIM. |
Wednesday, April 29th 2009 - 05:49:43 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good morning little sunshine,How is Nanas little Boy today? Oh how I miss you Jaycie.What have you been doing up in heaven these last couple of days? It sure has been warm the past 3 days.90 degrees and we are only in April.Your big sister Lexi has sure been enjoying the warm weather,so has your little brother David.They are both getting so tanned already.Last Thursday Alexiyah registered for Kindergarten.She is getting so big,and she is such a beautiful little girl.I will never stop wishing that you could be here with all your loved ones,running around and playing with your brother and sister.I cant imagine how big you must be by now,but I am sure you are very very handsome.Do you have all the little girls chasing after you? I bet you do.Lots of nanas flowers are in bloom,I have to make sure we bring you some soon.I have to get ready for work now,but I wanted to say hello and that I LOVE YOU and MISS YOU with all of my heart.I think of you everyday and DEAR JAYCE,you will always be a part of me.MUCH MUCH LOVE TO OUR LITTLE ANGEL BOY.YOUR NANA KIM. |
Wednesday, April 29th 2009 - 05:48:13 AM
| Little Monster: |
| I love you so much. I'm so, so sorry and I miss you so much tonight. I'm sitting on the couch with your teddy bear and your blanket and I can't stop crying. I just want you to know how much we love you. We're never going to forget about you. My sweet, sweet little baby boy. I love you with all my heart. |
Sunday, April 19th 2009 - 09:23:21 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hey Big Boy! How are you today? 18 months old already! Its crazy how fast time goes by, I don't think it will ever feel like you have been away from me for long, because everytime another month goes by I still feel like it was just yesterday when I gave birth to you. Honestly, I cannot believe that I got pregnant and had another child and he's almost 2 months old, I don't know where the time goes. I just hope and pray that you are safe and happy where you are and know each and everyday how much I Love, care and Miss you. You will always be on my mind and in My Heart for the rest of my Life. Take care my little Warrior, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Always...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Wednesday, April 15th 2009 - 03:47:27 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| How's my baby today? It sure is an ugly day outside. Your sisters a little mad, she wanted to go to the park today. Your little brother is sick, he's coughing and he had a slight fever lastnight but now he doesn't. Keep watching over your family little guy, we all Love you so much. Do you like the flowers I brought to you yesterday? They sure do look nice with all your Easter things. I wonder If you hear what I say when I'm over there visiting you. I Miss You Jayce, wish I could see you running around going crazy with your big sister. I bet you could keep up with her, because I can't! Well I just wanted to write you and let you know that you are heavily on my mind this morning, I hope you are having tons of fun up in Heaven, I bet you made lots of friends. Take care my Little Warrior and I will talk with you again soon, Love You Babe, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Tuesday, April 14th 2009 - 09:30:34 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| HAPPY EASTER JAYCE!!! Did you have a egg hunt up in heaven today? I hope so, your sister and Kiana had two, one at home and another one at nanas house, they found almost 150 eggs between the two of them! I can just picture you running aroung finding the eggs with them. I Miss You My Angel, Nana gave me some flowers to bring to you tomorrow, they will look real nice with the other things that are over there. Your little brother looked so grown today, like a little gentlemen, he reminded me of what you would have looked like at his age. I really wish I could have at least one dream with your face in it. How I wish to hold you and rock you to sleep and read to you and sing to you, I wish I could wake up to your handsome little smiling face everyday,. I don't understand why it was so hard for you to be here with your mommy. I Love You so Much Jayce, with all of My Heart and Soul. I can't really say that I can't wait to go to Heaven and be with you because I have the other two here to take care of but I can say that I long to hold you every single day. I look at your brother and sister and ask God "Why" in my head, why you could not be here with us all. I know people say everything happens for a reason but that's not true, like I said before there was honestly no reason why a little baby like you should of ever had to go thru what you did. Everytime I give your little brother a bath I think about how I gave you your first bath after you had already went with the Angels. At least If you were going to leave me I wish we could of had more bonding time, I couldn't even hold you while you were at the hospital. 24 days we spent together, praying you would pull through and I only got to hold you for two of those days, the day you were born and the day after, until they told me you were sick. There is so much I wanted to do with you. I want you to truly know how much I care for you. I Love You My Little Warrior, more than words could ever say. Goodnight Sweetheart, I hope you dream about me or at least know who I am. Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever, Sleep tight Angel...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Sunday, April 12th 2009 - 08:42:42 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good morning to Our sweet little grandson.The sun is shining and the birds are singing and it is Easter.So,HAPPY EASTER JAYCIE.Mommy,Lexi,little David,Kiana and big David and your Uncle Ryan are coming up to Nana and Pappys today.Your Pappy is going to hide 95 eggs in the yard for an Easter egg hunt.Pappy will hide some for you too.Do you like the Easter things Mommy brought to you? Nana will send a great big bunch of flowers with mommy to bring to you today. Your little brother is getting really big.8 weeks old today.What a big boy you are too.Can it be you are 18 months old already?Wow a year and a half.How Nana wishes you were here and could be a part of all the special things we do for the holidays. Nana and Pappy made a Lamb cake and some jello jigglers in the shape of eggs.What does God and heaven have planned for you and all the little angels today? What ever it is,I am sure it is really special.How is Pappy shoemaker and Nana Mitch and Jeff doing? Tell them I love them all and am thinking of them. Love you little fellow with all of my heart and soul.I will see you one day again.HAPPY HAPPY EASTER and GOD BLESS YOU. Love,love and Love you some more. Have a fun filled day and sleep tight tonight.Much Love,Nana and Pappy too.xxxoxoxoxoxxxxxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoox |
Sunday, April 12th 2009 - 06:39:32 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi my precious Lil man, how big you must be getting, wish I could see what you look like. Yesterday was a little hard on mommy, can't believe you were called to Heaven 17 months ago still feels like yesterday I was holding you in my arms. Your little brother David reminds me more and more of you with each day that passes, I think mommy had to give birth to another little boy to help me be happy again, I want you to know that he is not a replacement but that it does soothe me having a baby to hold in my arms once again. I know I haven't been writing like I used to but If you are watching me then you know that I honor you everyday, I have already told your brother about you, even though he is too young to understand. I want you to know that each and everyday I hold you in my Heart and still am thinking about you as much as I did before. I Love You Jayce, I wish I could spend Easter with you, it would be your second one already. Your sis Alexiyah still tells me she Misses and Loves you so much. I know I say this all the time but how I wish all my babies were together. Tonight I'm watching my friend Randileighs little boy and seeing him running around reminds me of how old you would be compared to your brother. I can't tell you enough how much I care for you. If there was anything that I could do to have you back in my life honey, you know I would do it for you. I am your mother just as you are my son forever and nothing will ever change that. I have such a loving bond for you that will never ever go away. I'm going to come over to your resting place tomorrow with some really cute Easter stuff and some flowers, me and pop pop and little David are gonna stop by. I Love You Baby and will Miss You for the rest of my life, Goodnight Jayce and sleep tight and know that I am always thinking of you even If I'm not writing. Hugs n Kisses Forever n Always...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Thursday, April 9th 2009 - 07:03:02 PM
| Our little Baby Roberts: |
|
Oh how we miss you so much. We wanted you to be with us. I hope you suffered no pain and are loving being in heaven with great grandma and all your great grandpa's. I know they will look out for you until Mommy and Daddy can be with you too. Please watch over us while we get through the trying time now and please ask grandma and grandpa to do the same and tell them how much we miss them too and will always honor them and their lives, no matter the cost.
I think of you so much and still cry a lot. I can't imagine ever getting over losing you. If we are lucky enough to get pregnant please know we won't be trying to replace you. Love always, your mommy forever XOXOXOXOXOX |
Monday, March 30th 2009 - 05:35:19 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good morning to Nanas sweet angel baby.How are you today Jayce? Nana sure does miss you and sure does love you so very very much.I could not stop thinking of you all day yesterday.In 2 weeks you would be a year and a half old already.How I wish I could see you. My what a big handsome boy you must be by now.As you know,we had your little brother Davids baby shower yesterday.Lots of people came to welcome him and everyone had a good time. Did you get the blue star balloon that pappy sent to you yesterday? He tried to get it all the way up to heaven for you.Lexi was such a big helper and she is getting so big.I cant believe she is starting kindergarten in Sept.Every time I hold little David,honey boy,I see YOU.My heart will never stop aching for you.You belonged here with all of the ones that are left here missing you and loving you so much that it hurts.Easter is coming,mommy will be up to your resting place with some nice Easter things for you.Nana wanted to go out and work in the flower beds today,but it is too windy and cold.I have millions of flowers that are going to bloom soon and I will bring you lots of them.Always know that you are in our hearts minds and souls and even though we cant be together physically we all carry a part of you with us.YOU will never be forgotten,and Jaycie ,you will be loved for eternity.I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH,Your Nana Kim and Your Pappy Too. |
Monday, March 30th 2009 - 07:25:31 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi My Sweet Angel Baby, i stopped by today with the St. Patricks Day things, I hope you liked them. I cant tell you how much I Love You and Miss You, my life will never be fully complete, I always going to think what life would be like if you were here with me. I Love your brother and your sister so so much but i will always think about you no matter what. I still cant believe that you went with the Angels. Wish things could be different Baby, Love You Jayce Rylan Forever n Ever, Hugs n Kisses... Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoooxx oooxoxooxoxoxoxx |
Saturday, March 14th 2009 - 12:42:43 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi My Sweet Angel Baby, i stopped by today with the St. Patricks Day things, I hope you liked them. I cant tell you how much I Love You and Miss You, my life will never be fully complete, I always going to think what life would be like if you were here with me. I Love your brother and your sister so so much but i will always think about you no matter what. I still cant believe that you went with the Angels. Wish things could be different Baby, Love You Jayce Rylan Forever n Ever, Hugs n Kisses... Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoooxx oooxoxooxoxoxoxx |
Saturday, March 14th 2009 - 12:37:02 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi My Sweet Little Angel, mommy just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you, I'm going to bring you St. Patty's Day stuff probably tomorrow. Oh Jayce, how I miss you so, your little brother reminds me so much of you at times, certain expressions he makes, it kinda makes me feel like I have you all over again. I wish so bad you were here with us. I still have not had one dream with your face in it. I'm hoping that in time, one day I will. I love you so much Jayce and one day we will be together again. Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Saturday, March 7th 2009 - 08:33:25 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good morning to our little angel.How are you today sweet Jayce? Your brother David Jayce was a week old already on Sunday.Mommy took him to the Dr. on Monday.He has gained 12 ounces and has grown an inch and a half already.My precious darling grandson,how i MISS YOU more and more everyday.I find my self quite often calling little David Jayce your name,and I also must say that when I look at him I SEE YOU my honey boy.How I wish you were here with us.You are the big brother sweetheart.I so wanted to see you grow and play with you little brother and big sister and to laugh and run around and give kisses and hugs,and I even wanted to see you be a little bad sometimes too.Mommys life would be just perfect ,to have all her children together.I know mommy is very happy to have had little David,BUT she will miss and love you for the rest of her life,and So will Nana and Pappy.Rest in peace and God bless you my sweet grandson My Jaycie Rylan I shall love you for all eternity.Much Love to you always.Your Nana Kim and Pappy too. |
Wednesday, March 4th 2009 - 06:26:32 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Thankyou so much Baby for watching over me and your brother while giving birth. I have been thinking about you an awful lot, everytime I look at your little brother David I think about you. It was an honor to put him in the same outfit you wore for your pictures, he has some of your features, I feel like God blessed me with a Boy again because he knew that what happened was wrong and knew how much I was hurting. I Love You My Sweet Angel and I still want you here, my beautiful children all together, but I know it can't be and I just have to wait to see you again, and I promise I will hold you and cherish you forever n ever. I hope you're watching me take care of little David and know that you would have also been loved unconditionally. Take care up there My Little Warrior, I will talk with you again soon. I Love You so Much. Hugs n Kisses Always...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Wednesday, February 25th 2009 - 07:38:19 AM
| Sweet Baby Boy Jonathan: |
|
Hi my sweet little boy. This past week has been a turning point for me in my grief and I am finally ready to let you go - to accept that you will not be with me until I join you in Heaven. I still long to hold you in my arms and hear you cry and see you fall asleep after you have had your bottle, but I am giving all of my broken dreams to God. I am asking Him to help me to let go and I know that is a start for this final phase of acceptance. Please know that you will not be forgotten, I think of you everyday and will continue to think of you everyday. I love you and I know that all of my loved ones that have gone before me are keeping you company until I come join you. Until then... know that I will always love you with all of my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love,Kisses and Hugs from Mommy:+) For any of you who would like to read about my grief journey, please go to: www.caringbridge.org/visit/jonathanhaskins |
Sunday, February 22nd 2009 - 06:06:26 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good Evening to Nanas little angel baby.I have wonderful news for you honey boy,but I bet you already know what it is.Your beautiful,strong mommy gave birth to your little brother today at 4:18 p.m.I cant believe it, but he weights 9pounds2 ounces.What a big boy.He is 20 inches long.Your mommy was such a trooper,and little David Jayce is so soft and beautiful.How I wish you were here to see him and play with him.Mommy is thinking about you so much right now,giving birth again brought back all the memories of when you were born for both your mommy and your nana Kim.It must have felt so wonderful for your mommy to hold a little baby in her arms again,but I know how very much she misses you sweet grandson of mine.I know you are so much on her mind right now,and I know how much she loves you darling.We shall never forget you and we will hold you close to all of our hearts forever Jaycie.God bless you honey and sleep well tonight.Thank you for watching over your mommy and little brother and I am so happy that they are both safe,healthy and doing fine.Thank God for me little buddy.All my love to you.millions of kisses and hugs baby boy. Your nana Kim |
Sunday, February 22nd 2009 - 04:51:25 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi My Sweet Little Angel. Today is the day! I'm on my way over to the hospital now so wish me luck Baby and watch over me and your little brother, please!? I Love You With All of My Heart Jayce. Hugs n Kisses to My Little Warrior, you will Forever be Cherished and Missed...Love Always, Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Sunday, February 22nd 2009 - 03:53:14 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi My Sweet Little Angel. Today is the day! I'm on my way over to the hospital now so wish me luck Baby and watch over me and your little brother, please!? I Love You With All of My Heart Jayce. Hugs n Kisses to My Little Warrior, you will Forever be Cherished and Missed...Love Always, Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Sunday, February 22nd 2009 - 03:52:19 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good evening sweet Jayce,Tonight is the eve of the birth of your little brother David Jayce.Mommy is going into the hospital to be induced at 7:00 a.m.If all goes quick,he should be born by suppertime at the latest.Watch over your mommy and little brother tomorrow.Please ask God for everything to go good.OK?Today your pappy and I butchered 3 pigs in our butcher shop.Boy we sure do have a lot of pork chops now.Do you get to eat pork chops up in heaven?Spring is on its way,I saw a bunch of flowers starting to come up already when I was out working in the yard today.I even made 2 pinapple upside down cakes today.I sure do miss your big sister Alexiyah.I have not seen here for well over a week now.She is at her Daddys house till after David is born.I love you and as always I miss you so so much.I will never stop wishing that you were here with all of us.Sleep tight and dont let the bed bugs bite.Love you,Love you and I love you some more. Nightie Night to Nanas special little angel.Big kisses and hugs honey boy. Nana Kim |
Saturday, February 21st 2009 - 04:54:02 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good morning sweet angel of mine,The angles of the sunlight are changing and I think I am beginning to feel Spring in the air.I even saw some daffodils and tulips starting to peek out of the ground.Nana just cant wait to Spring is here.Where is your little brother? He was due to be born on Sunday,but he is not ready to greet the world just as yet I guess.Your poor mommy,she is getting so big and uncomfortable,and she is not able to get any sleep.Lets all hope and pray that he comes today,ok?Do you like your Valentine Decorations?Nana must get down to your resting place sometime soon.Gosh,Little Jaycie,do I ever miss you,there is not a day that goes by that I dont think of you.How I wanted you to be a little brother to your big sister Alexiyah Sierra.I know one day Nana will be reunited with her honey boy,but it seems like such a long wait till that happens.As I said before,I will be a good Nana and make you very proud to say that I am your Nana.I love you with all of my heart and soul.Take care sweetheart and have a good day. All my love to you Jayce Rylan.Your Nana Kim |
Tuesday, February 17th 2009 - 05:57:00 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good morning sweet angel of mine,The angles of the sunlight are changing and I think I am beginning to feel Spring in the air.I even saw some daffodils and tulips starting to peek out of the ground.Nana just cant wait to Spring is here.Where is your little brother? He was due to be born on Sunday,but he is not ready to greet the world just as yet I guess.Your poor mommy,she is getting so big and uncomfortable,and she is not able to get any sleep.Lets all hope and pray that he comes today,ok?Do you like your Valentine Decorations?Nana must get down to your resting place sometime soon.Gosh,Little Jaycie,do I ever miss you,there is not a day that goes by that I dont think of you.How I wanted you to be a little brother to your big sister Alexiyah Sierra.I know one day Nana will be reunited with her honey boy,but it seems like such a long wait till that happens.As I said before,I will be a good Nana and make you very proud to say that I am your Nana.I love you with all of my heart and soul.Take care sweetheart and have a good day. All my love to you Jayce Rylan.Your Nana Kim |
Tuesday, February 17th 2009 - 05:56:05 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi My Sweetheart! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY BABY! Hope you had a good one in Heaven, I bet you got a lot of girl Angels that want you as their Valentine. Yesterday I stopped over at your resting place with Alexiyah and we put everything back real nice, the only thing that we couldn't find was your balloon, but it still looks so nice, I think you were the only one that had Valentine stuff up, everybody else still had Christmas wreaths. I have been praying to you and God that your Little brother comes on the 15th and right now I can't sleep and I'm having a little bit of pain, so we will just have to wait and see! I Love You Jayce and Mommy will talk with you again tomorrow, Hugs n Kisses, Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoAND A MILLION MORE TO MY SWEET VALENTINE!!! |
Saturday, February 14th 2009 - 11:37:20 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi my precious little Angel, how are you today? Mommys ok, just patiently waiting for your little brother, I'm hoping he decides to come on Sunday because its the 15th and you know how special that will be. Were you watching me and your sis Alexiyah set up all the Valentines day stuff at your resting place? I was sooo mad at the wind yesterday, I was thinking that it probably blew all the nice things we left for you, I'm gonna stop over today and try to fix everything. Oh Jayce, how I still Miss You so much, when I think about what happened and how it did sometimes it still just doesn't seem real. I Love You Baby and I want to hold you and watch you grow, its so hard to not have you here with me. I wish I could take care of you like a Mommy is suppose to do with their child. I hope you remember that I'm your mommy, because I will never forget that you are my Son. Watch over me Jayce and know that you are loved every minute of everyday, you hold a very very special place in My Heart and Always will. My Perfect Little Warrior, Love Always, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoP.S. U R MY VALENTINE! |
Friday, February 13th 2009 - 06:35:55 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Dear Sweet Jaycie,How are you today? My how much we miss you.It still seems as though you were only born yesterday.I still can not believe that you left us 15 long months ago.WOW.And it is even harder to believe that your little brother David Jayce will be born any day now.Sunday the 15th is his actual due date.Mommy and Lexi and Kianna were up to the farm yesterday to see all of the new baby lambs that are being born,we have almost 20 of them now. Lexi collected the eggs from the chickens and held a couple chickens,and even got to hold one of the baby lambs.How I wish so bad that you could be a part of Nanas new life.We would have so much fun together. I really feel that you lost out on so much by not being able to stay here with all of the ones that just love you so so much.Nana and Pappy are doing much better then the last time I wrote to you. Please watch over all of us,especially your mommy.Tell God Nana said hello and have a fun day and sleep tight tonight my little warrior,and always know that you are loved so much more then words could ever say.Much Love to Nanas precious little Grandson. We Love You,We Love You and WE Love You some more.Nana and Pappy Sutliff.xxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox |
Tuesday, February 10th 2009 - 02:00:41 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi Sweetheart, just a quick note to say I Love You and I Miss You. Its almost 2am I can't sleep, never could when I was pregnant, that's when you guys decide to move around a lot and give me heartburn! I go to the doctors tomorrow so I will talk with you afterwards and I am also going to bring the cute little Valentines Day stuff to your resting place, I wanted to wait for all the snow to melt but it keeps snowing. Sweet Dreams My Little Warrior, I'm gonna try to get some type of rest for the night, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever, I LOVE YOU...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Tuesday, February 3rd 2009 - 11:10:41 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good morning to Nanas sweetie pie,How are you today?We are in Febuary already.It is ground hog day today,that means that spring will be here in a few weeks. I cant wait to bring you lots of daffodills,tulips and hyacyths from my garden.Mommy has only 13 days till the due date of your new little baby brother David Jayce.We are all getting very excited and anxious for him to be born.Watch over him little guy and if you can talk with God a little bit,please ask him for everything to be alright with this new baby . How I wish you cold have stayed here with all of us and been a strong and healthy little boy.My you must be getting so big by now.I still wonder if you grow up in heaven?It has been a rough couple of weeks for your Nana and Pappy.Pappy went away for a week to stop drinking.It was 2 weeks yesterday that Pappy has been sober.Nana had a nervous breakdown over your Pappys drinking and I was in the nut house for a week. Oh boy,what a mess huh honey boy?Living this human existence can sure be hard at times.Mommy has something for your resting place for Valentines day.Will you be Nanas Sweetheart on Valentines day? I have to get ready to go to a Drs. appointment,so I shall say good bye for now. I love you and MISS you more then words could ever say.Have a wonderful day and tell God that your Nana Kim said hello. Much Love to Nanas special little angel,my precious Jayce Rylan. |
Monday, February 2nd 2009 - 05:22:29 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi My Little Warrior Angel, Just a little note to let you know that I am thinking about you and that Mommy only has 3 weeks left until your little brothers arrival, but I have been having some pains so maybe sooner. Keep watching over your loved ones baby, its pretty hectic down here right now, and please Watch over Nana Kim shes going through some tough times right now, ill let her inform you if she wants to write it on here, but I'm sure you already know Baby. I Love You So Much Jayce and I Miss You Tremendously, My Precious Angel, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Friday, January 23rd 2009 - 02:46:51 PM
| charles j commander v: |
| my son, your birthdate just passed. and i miss you so much. you would be a year old running around everywhere. your daddy walked early so i was guessing you probably wouldve also. nobody acknowledged your birthday. i felt sososo alone. i bought you a little blue birdie and a birthday card. yesterday i missed you so much. i looked through all ofyour things and photos. i cant believe you are gone. it hits me like a train and i break down completely. noone to talk to. i dont want them to feel bad or tiptoe around me or for them to watch me have nervous breakdowns. i just want everyone to remember you. i feel like im losing it,CJ. you touched my life and changed everything. nothing means anything to me anymore. i dont really care about anything. i know everyone is going to die. so i am just waiting...... i cant WAIT to be with you and GOD. i hope i dont go to the other place. i wish your sisters knew you. they are grown up and have their own lives now. no more summers in the sun or making a christmas or new years for them or having them decorate each others bday parties. you would have grown to be an adult and i wanted to teach you things and give you MY LOVE. and protect you and i couldnt. i cant. ive failed. i should have held out a little longer. maybe a few more days on that drip would ve made a difference. but the nurse said my organs were failing. and the doctor took you sososo early! im sorry, i didnt know the preeclampsia would come so fierce this time. your sisters made it through fine. im so angry with myself!CJ, i love you. i would gladly trade places with you. i could look down on you and your sisters, my precious daughters. and see you and them all the time. but i know you are happy up there. and i have ashsam a reason to get me up in the morning. your father and i are married now. he is working so hard as usual. i know he thinks about you, cj. he just doesnt talk about you. he doesnt show his feelings very well. im sorry i havent written to you in so long. i miss you and love you, mommy |
Monday, January 19th 2009 - 11:49:48 AM
| charles j commander v: |
|
dear cj,
your birthdate just passed. i have been missing you so much. i bought you a little blue birdie stuffed animal and a card. i hope you saw it somehow.if you can see down here on earth. i imagine you being one years old. i know you are happy where you are. and i am trying my best to live. i wish ashley and samantha could have met you. i love you, mommy |
Monday, January 19th 2009 - 11:29:22 AM
| charles j commander v: |
|
dear cj,
your birthdate just passed. i have been missing you so much. i bought you a little blue birdie stuffed animal and a card. i hope you saw it somehow.if you can see down here on earth. i imagine you being one years old. i know you are happy where you are. and i am trying my best to live. i wish ashley and samantha could have met you. i love you, mommy |
Monday, January 19th 2009 - 11:29:06 AM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| My Precious son, 15 months old already. I Miss You More and More everyday I just don't know why I have to deal with this for the rest of my life, I have never felt pain like this and knowing that it is permanent, something that will neve go away, its scary Baby. Can't stop wishing you were with me or at least wishing I could come visit with you where you are every morning and then come back home to Alexiyah. I guess you know that my patience is wearing thin with being pregnant with your little brother, I itch sooo bad I just wanna rip my skin off, and I itched like this with you so I pray that everything will be ok this time. Please Jayce be with me in spirit on that day I give birth, help to make sure that everything goes well. I want more than anything in this world for you to be able to play and learn with your brother and sister, you would have been so physically loved with us all, but now its only emotionally that I can express it to you. Take care My Little Warrior, run and play with all the other precious Angels today, I Love You Jayce, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo And A Million More!!! |
Thursday, January 15th 2009 - 02:03:38 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| My Precious son, 15 months old already. I Miss You More and More everyday I just don't know why I have to deal with this for the rest of my life, I have never felt pain like this and knowing that it is permanent, something that will neve go away, its scary Baby. Can't stop wishing you were with me or at least wishing I could come visit with you where you are every morning and then come back home to Alexiyah. I guess you know that my patience is wearing thin with being pregnant with your little brother, I itch sooo bad I just wanna rip my skin off, and I itched like this with you so I pray that everything will be ok this time. Please Jayce be with me in spirit on that day I give birth, help to make sure that everything goes well. I want more than anything in this world for you to be able to play and learn with your brother and sister, you would have been so physically loved with us all, but now its only emotionally that I can express it to you. Take care My Little Warrior, run and play with all the other precious Angels today, I Love You Jayce, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo And A Million More!!! |
Thursday, January 15th 2009 - 01:58:36 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Good Morning to Nanas Little sweetheart.Boy it sure is a cold cold day here on Earth,its about 18 degrees and feels like 5.I sure hope it is summertime all the time up there in heaven.What are you doing today Jaycie? I miss you so so much.I was down at your mommys and sisters house yesterday with Pappy.I was helping mommy get ready for the arrival of your new little brother.I was thinking of you all day and night.The nursery was suppose to be yours honey boy,and all the little clothes and toys and the crib.I know it is ok with you for your little brother David Jayce to use all your little things,BUT oh how I wish you would have gotten the chance to use them first.Gosh how I love you sweet Jayce.I still remember holding you for the first time when you were born.I only got to hold you 3 times in your life.I want to be able to hold you now and kiss and love you.IT HURTS that I cant.All of US miss and long for you here on earth.One day we shall all see you again and what a celebration we will have.Watch over Mommy and Lexi,they find it so hard to be without you.PLEASE come into mommys dreams for her.She needs to see your little beautiful face again.Know that we all are thinking of you and loving you with all of our hearts.Have a fun day today and sleep well tonight.You are and always will be my sweet,precious,innocent First grandson,My little Jaycie Rylan.Eternall Love little fellow.Your nana and Pappy Sutliff.WE LOVE YOU.xxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxox |
Thursday, January 15th 2009 - 05:16:23 AM
| amanda faith wooten forrest: |
|
i baby girl,stopping by to let you know i was thinking of u and how much i miss u and want u with me on earth.oh baby i cant even tell u what life has ben like everyday wanting to share it with u and have u with me.i didnt know this site was here until i was on another vm page and saw it.keep your angels wings over me & protected its working right now as al test has come back NO CANCER and so good so far,i wil visit back soon love ya angel.mommy come visit us at www.myangelamandafaith.virtual-memorialscom
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Wednesday, January 14th 2009 - 04:47:49 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hey My Little Angel, just wanna talk with you before I go to bed and tell you about your sister Alexiyah. About an hour ago she woke up really sad and crying her eyes out, I went in her room and asked her "what's wrong? Why are you crying?" and she said because of Jaycie, oh Honey she misses you so much, I didn't think it affected her that much because she was 3 years old but apparently she thinks about it a lot and then I started crying with her and held her and she fell back asleep. Alexiyah and I went to the hospital today for my check in visit for your little brother and I think that brought back a lot of memories for her because she was talking about a lot as we were walking into the hospital. Oh Jayce Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't we all be together and be a happy Family? I just wish you were here sooo bad. I Miss You Baby, I Love You with all of My Heart, sleep tight my Little Warrior and please watch over your sister and let her know you Love her because she has so much Love for you. Its late and Nana Kim is coming down tomorrow at 6am, so I will talk with you again soon Baby, Goodnight, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Tuesday, January 13th 2009 - 09:18:56 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hey My Little Angel, just wanna talk with you before I go to bed and tell you about your sister Alexiyah. About an hour ago she woke up really sad and crying her eyes out, I went in her room and asked her "what's wrong? Why are you crying?" and she said because of Jaycie, oh Honey she misses you so much, I didn't think it affected her that much because she was 3 years old but apparently she thinks about it a lot and then I started crying with her and held her and she fell back asleep. Alexiyah and I went to the hospital today for my check in visit for your little brother and I think that brought back a lot of memories for her because she was talking about a lot as we were walking into the hospital. Oh Jayce Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't we all be together and be a happy Family? I just wish you were here sooo bad. I Miss You Baby, I Love You with all of My Heart, sleep tight my Little Warrior and please watch over your sister and let her know you Love her because she has so much Love for you. Its late and Nana Kim is coming down tomorrow at 6am, so I will talk with you again soon Baby, Goodnight, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo |
Tuesday, January 13th 2009 - 09:17:39 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi My Little Sweetheart, do you see all the snow we are getting down here? Your sis Alexiyah is sleding right now with her Daddy, I wanted to take her but can't cause of mu big belly! Nana and I were talking today and were going to put a little something together for you for Valentine's Day and bring it to your resting place, you know you are still Mommys Valentine no matter what! I Love You Jayce and Miss You sooo Much, talk with you soon. Hugs n Kisses...Mommy |
Saturday, January 10th 2009 - 02:03:19 PM
| Jayce Rylan Mantz: |
| Hi My Little Sweetheart, do you see all the snow we are getting down here? Your sis Alexiyah is sleding right now with her Daddy, I wanted to take her but can't cause of mu big belly! Nana and I were talking today and were going to put a little something together for you for Valentine's Day and bring it to your resting place, you know you are still Mommys Valentine no matter what! I Love You Jayce and Miss You sooo Much, talk with you soon. Hugs n Kisses...Mommy |
Saturday, January 10th 2009 - 02:02:52 PM