Dreambook - Empty Cradles

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Letters To Heaven

Our 'Letters to Heaven' section is the place to write down your thoughts, express your grief, or just a place to say 'Hello sweetheart, I miss you.' Each letter will remain on file, amongst hundreds of other letters from grieving parents. Each is as unique as the baby who was forever lost.

To create your letter, please go here

We are so sorry for your loss.

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The Letters:

Penny June Palmer:

Hey baby girl...wow its been a long time since i have written to you. Doesnt mean that i havent been thinking about you. i think about you every single day. Your sister and brother miss you so bad. so does daddy. did you get my balloon and letter that i wrote to you?? i hope nanna is taking care of you up there in heaven. i love and miss you soooooo much babygirl!!! love always, mommy.

Friday, June 26th 2009 - 04:26:16 AM

cj commander v:

my baby,
its fathers day today cj. maybe you can let your daddy know that you can see him or are with him. he doesnt believe in GOD or heaven or anything really. i wish that he could know you. i wish that you could show him the same signs that you show me. or that he could SEE the signs that you probably are already Trying to show him that you do exist and that you are a spirit soaring around in lime green. please know that mommy loves you and misses you every moment of every day. it is a silent remembrance. everyone would not understand if they knew how much i want to talk about you or tell them how much i love you. ive tried to just mention you or my love for you or how much i miss you. but everyone gets uncomfortable. or they tell me not to torture myself. im sorry that i dont talk about you much CJ. people just dont understand though. please know my thoughts and that way you will know just how much i am thinking about you. cj, go be with daddy today and let him know you are there. let him know for sure. so that he knows your love and knows that there is a life after death.
i love you so much. and i miss you.

Sunday, June 21st 2009 - 06:52:36 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning sweet little Jaycie,Oh how Nana has been missing you.Pappy bought Nana a beautiful camper last week and it just breaks my heart that you wont be able to go along with us when we all go camping.You big sister Lexi just loves it.She says its a little house on wheels.Your little brother David Jayce is getting so so big.Almost 4 months old and 20 pounds.Time goes by so fast,it scares me.I cant believe that you are 20 months old now.What do you look like honey? I wish I could know.Your mommy misses you so much.Everyday you are on her mind.She still has not had a dream about you.How I wish she could.I sent some flowers with mommy yesterday for you,so I am sure she will be up to your resting place today.Oh God,why did you have to GO? I miss you and love you and ache to hold and Love you like I do all my grand children.It breaks my heart each and every moment of every day.I hope you have a wonderful day today Jaycie,and I hope one day I get to heaven so I can see you again. It is just so unfair and there is nothing that can take away the heartache.I Love you,I Love you and I love you some more.All my Love to you my sweet innocent little honey boy,Nanas little Jayce.A million kisses and hugs to you.Your Nana Kim

Friday, June 19th 2009 - 05:45:31 AM

charles j commander v:

my precious son,
daddy is ok. thank god.
i miss you so much cj. i love you so much. life is so hard here for me. i am too sensitive to pain. i hurt. i wish i was up there with you and god. all there is is time to wait down here on earth. repeating same day over and over and over like groundhog day. it is maddening. thank you for coming into my life and touching my soul and mommy misses you more than anyone will ever know. i love you and please watch over your sisters. xoxoxxoxoo love forever
mommy

Saturday, June 13th 2009 - 04:43:02 PM

charles j commander v:

Saturday, June 13th 2009 - 04:42:55 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

My Sweet Little Angel, how I miss you and wanna hold you so bad. I wanted to write you on the 8th but its hard for mommy. I always wake up in a bad mood on the 8th of each month and I can't figure out why I feel like this until I notice the date, its like my mind simultaneously does it. Its so hard to believe that you will be 20 months old on the 15th and you have already been gone for 19 months. I wish we could of spent more time together. Its crazy how much your little brother looks like you, you are such handsome little men, how I wish you could be here to give him and your sister lots of hugs and kisses, your big sis Alexiyah still talks about you a lot. I hope you hear us say Goodnight to you and tell you how much we love and miss you. I was at Nana Kims house today with your brother and I look at your pictures and think how I should have my 3 babies with me, its so unfair. Nana gave me some more beautiful flowers to bring to you so I will be over tomorrow with them. Sleep tight my Little Warrior and I will talk with you again real soon. Hugs n Kisses Forever n ever, I LOVE YOU JAYCE...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Wednesday, June 10th 2009 - 07:56:25 PM

cj commander V:

watch over your daddy. he is in too much pain. he is in the ocean somewhere trying to make it back to the states. he took off without any planning. and wrecked in the bahamas. i KNOW you are watching over him. even though he doesnt love mommy anymore, our love exists as PURE with you in heaven. please tell GOD to keep him safe.

Wednesday, June 10th 2009 - 01:50:19 PM

cj commander V:

Wednesday, June 10th 2009 - 01:50:06 PM

cj commander V:

oh my little cj. i miss you so much! thank you for the lime green heart. and for being so near me at a moments notice. i knew from the moment i saw you that my life had changed once more. your sisters are my life. they keep me alive.i feel that i dont belong in heaven with you. but i work very hard to see the signs of WHAT i am here for on earth, and try very hard to stay sane, and be kind, and to love! i dont want to be in heaven if you are not there. or if your sisters, my precious daughters arent bound to go there. i love you cj and my love is the same as the first day that i met you. no measure exists. GOD is now and here with me and my love for you is unbreakable. i love you cj. please know that i love you!! each day is so difficult down here on earth. it is for everyone alive. everyone does not know why they are alive or maybe they are TOO sure of why they are alive, or are just guessing. noone really knows deep down inside. please ask god to go easy on my lifes lessons right now, i am so weak and in pain mentally and emotionally. but if he has a lesson that he wants me to learn, to just PLEASE SHOW it to me in no uncertain terms. a VERY clear SIGN is what i would need right now because my head is in a fog. i love you my son. i am happy that none of lifes pains can touch you and i am happy that a part of my dna and your daddys dna IS with you. we are ALL together in some way that is pure and concrete and unconditional.

Wednesday, June 10th 2009 - 01:43:32 PM

Victoia Lynn and Aaden James Marshall:

to my dear sweet babies
it is funny to me to think that you would be 1 and 3 this year. it only seems like yesterday that you were with me me and daddy miss you so much. there isnta day that goes by that i dont think about you a dozen or more times i still wonder if it will get any easier i miss you so much i ache to hold you in my arms. the only comfort i have is that knowing one day i will see your bright and shineing faces. till i can see you in heaven yuo remain my forever angels i love you always and and forever
love Mommy

Saturday, June 6th 2009 - 06:13:31 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good evening little honey boy.How is nanas little Jaycie doing tonight? I miss you so very much,I LOVE you so very much.Mommy is really missing you Jaycie,I wish there was something I could do to make her feel a little bit better.It is just a terrible awful feeling when there is nothing that can be done to ease all of our grief just a little.I went to a viewing this afternoon for a 79 year old Lady friend that lives here in the grove.Her name is Helen.This was the first funeral I went to since yours and it was really hard to go,but I felt it was the right thing to do and pay my last respects.Your Pappy has been having a pretty hard time here of late.I love him so very much and he is such a wonderful man.Maybe you could say something to GOD for him and things could get a little bit easier.What do you think of your little brother David? How about that big sister of yours,Lexi,she sure is getting big.Hard to believe she is going to start school in the fall.I wonder what time is like where you are? Here on Earth it sure does seem to go by fast.I hope to see your mommy this week sometime and I will send some beautiful flowers for her to give you.I think of you everyday little man and every day I wish you were here.I send you a billion kisses and hugs and I shall Love you for all eternity.Sleep well tonight,my sweet innocent grandson,my little Jaycie Rylan. All my love to you,Your nana Kim.

Sunday, May 31st 2009 - 04:16:17 PM

Jamari Charles Moore:

Hi Nana boy grannie haven't written you in a while, but that doesn't mean that your not in my heart. I know that God, grandad and you are having lots of fun. I know that you are being a good boy. Your Mom is also sending you all of her love. Sweet dreams Jamari until grannie see you.

Friday, May 29th 2009 - 01:29:50 PM

Baby Angel Smith:

My sweet Baby Angel,

Four years ago today is the day your heart stopped beating without me knowing for another 4 weeks. I was so excited to have you inside me, and was busy planning for your arrival in the months ahead. I miss you so much still, and I am so sorry I never got to hold you in my arms, Baby. You will always hold a special place in my heart, and I dream about the day we will meet in Heaven.

Love you so much sweetheart.

Love, Mommy

Friday, May 22nd 2009 - 12:28:16 PM

Baby Angel Smith:

Friday, May 22nd 2009 - 12:28:15 PM

Breanna Gabriel Dimeo:

Hello angel, im sure you know that i am missing you terribly and that will never change but things have been so strange for me lately i have recently found out that i am pregnant with your brother or sister and though i am happy it is a bitter sweet happiness because at the same time i am scared to death of all of the possible things that could go wrong and at the same time i am selfish because i think of my sanity if something were to happen! Crazy i know! Sometimes i compare this pregnancy to my pregnancy with you and to be honest everything that happens with this baby reminds me of the joy of having you along with the pain of losing you! you would be two in july and i am still so taken with greif that i know i can never get over! People tell me that i have to let go and that the way i keep you with me in my thoughts and conversation is unheallthy i guess it makes people uncomfortablel to hear about you because they dont know how to react and littl do they know i dont excpect pity i just like to talk about you and honor your memory im your mommy its my job! Jst like if you were still here yoou were and always will be my heart and my world! I can't love you any less because you are gone! Every baby i see makes me wonder what you would be like now! My own pregnancy still feels like im pregnant with you all over again i know im not but in so many ways i carry you with me even though you cannot truly be with me! Well baby girl, i love you always with all of my heart and i miss you just as much! I will write again soon!
Love Always,
Mommy!

Wednesday, May 20th 2009 - 08:23:11 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Oh Jayce, how I've been missing and thinking about you heavily since Mothers Day, its 3am I just put your brother back to sleep and was crying, wishing you were here. Cannot believe you are 19 months old, your brother is getting so big he is almost 3months old and weighs 16lbs 5oz already and everytime I hold him I wish I could do the same with you. I was doing some spring cleaning and came across something that belongs to you, its a frame where a picture goes and has two spots on it where your handprints were suppose to go and there's a poem on it that brought me instantly to tears when I read it. How I wish I could be a part of everything you are doing and experiencing in Heaven. How I wish I could go back in time and change things and bring you home with me from the hospital. I am going to attempt to finish your scrapbook tomorrow so watch over me because its going to be very hard on me. I know that one day I will see that handsome little face of yours but it seems like forever to wait. I want you to know that I love you and cherish you in my memory every single day. My Love for you will never go away, I will always wonder why I couldn't have you here instead of where you are. Mommy Loves you My Little Warrior and Misses you so so much. I'm bringing you more flowers tomorrow, I'm sorry I don't go there a lot its just hard, I like to think of you as a free spirit because I know you are and I know that your energy is still here with me and you still feel my love for you, I hope this is all true. There are so many questions I have and I can't get no answers. Just know that I would do anything to have you back and my heart and arms will Forever ache to hold you again. Goodnight my Sweet Little Angel and Sweet Dreams, I will talk with you again soon. A million Hugs n Kisses to my Baby, love always...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Monday, May 18th 2009 - 12:48:47 AM

Natalie Na'kole:

they said that u were just a blob of tissue. its been five years and i've had other children, but i still cry myself to sleep sometimes and my arms still ache for you. for someone that never existed, you've sure taught me more than a lifetime of living.

Sunday, May 17th 2009 - 07:41:59 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good evening to Nana and Pappys sweet little angel boy.How are you tonight? You left us 18 months ago this afternoon.I just cant believe you have been gone this long.It still was only yesterday it seems that I held you in my arms.We shall never stop missing you and loving you and wishing you were here with all of us that love you.Your little brother is 2 and a half months old already,and boy is he a big baby.He weights over 15 pounds already.Nana and Pappy saw him yesterday for a little while.He smiles and laughs and look straight in to your soul when you talk to him.He even tries to talk back.I have to say little Jaycie that every time Nana looks at him,I see you honey boy.He is a very strong healthy little grandchild and I thank god for that all the time,BUT I cant help wondering and asking why you too could not have been a strong healthy boy.Oh how nana and pap would have loved you and spoiled you.By now you would have been able to toddle all around the farm and help us get the eggs from the chickens and you could pet cows and the baby sheep and do all kinds of things with us.Man we were really cheated by not having,and knowing you,Our sweet little fellow.But we will always love you and miss you and keep you in our hearts forever.Much much love to you little Jaycie.Nana and Pappy Sutliff.Say hi to little scuffy the cat.I think he may have just got to heaven.nightie night honey.

Friday, May 8th 2009 - 06:15:57 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi my sweet little angel, how have you been lately? I'm ok trying to keep up after the kids, I miss you sooo much Jayce. I talk to your little brother David about you all the time and he smiles at me, I swear its like he knows who you are, I truly feel like a part of your soul came back to me when I gave birth to him, you two look a lot alike. Can't believe you left me 18 months ago, can't believe that I had another little boy that is over 2 months old already, it feels like my life froze the day that you went with the angels, I wake up every morning and look at your brother and wish so much that I could also wake up and see your handsome little face. I Love You with every part of me, I think you know that. I have to bring you some more flowers soon. I just wanted to talk with you and let you know that I am always thinking about you and I love and care about you more than words could ever say. Take care my little warrior and please If you can, come into my dreams, I would love to see how much you have grown and to know that you are safe and loved where you are. Goodnight sweetheart and I will talk with you again soon...love always, hugs n kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Thursday, May 7th 2009 - 10:19:30 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning little sunshine,How is Nanas little Boy today? Oh how I miss you Jaycie.What have you been doing up in heaven these last couple of days? It sure has been warm the past 3 days.90 degrees and we are only in April.Your big sister Lexi has sure been enjoying the warm weather,so has your little brother David.They are both getting so tanned already.Last Thursday Alexiyah registered for Kindergarten.She is getting so big,and she is such a beautiful little girl.I will never stop wishing that you could be here with all your loved ones,running around and playing with your brother and sister.I cant imagine how big you must be by now,but I am sure you are very very handsome.Do you have all the little girls chasing after you? I bet you do.Lots of nanas flowers are in bloom,I have to make sure we bring you some soon.I have to get ready for work now,but I wanted to say hello and that I LOVE YOU and MISS YOU with all of my heart.I think of you everyday and DEAR JAYCE,you will always be a part of me.MUCH MUCH LOVE TO OUR LITTLE ANGEL BOY.YOUR NANA KIM.

Wednesday, April 29th 2009 - 05:49:43 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Wednesday, April 29th 2009 - 05:48:13 AM

Little Monster:

I love you so much. I'm so, so sorry and I miss you so much tonight. I'm sitting on the couch with your teddy bear and your blanket and I can't stop crying. I just want you to know how much we love you. We're never going to forget about you. My sweet, sweet little baby boy. I love you with all my heart.

Sunday, April 19th 2009 - 09:23:21 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hey Big Boy! How are you today? 18 months old already! Its crazy how fast time goes by, I don't think it will ever feel like you have been away from me for long, because everytime another month goes by I still feel like it was just yesterday when I gave birth to you. Honestly, I cannot believe that I got pregnant and had another child and he's almost 2 months old, I don't know where the time goes. I just hope and pray that you are safe and happy where you are and know each and everyday how much I Love, care and Miss you. You will always be on my mind and in My Heart for the rest of my Life. Take care my little Warrior, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Always...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Wednesday, April 15th 2009 - 03:47:27 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

How's my baby today? It sure is an ugly day outside. Your sisters a little mad, she wanted to go to the park today. Your little brother is sick, he's coughing and he had a slight fever lastnight but now he doesn't. Keep watching over your family little guy, we all Love you so much. Do you like the flowers I brought to you yesterday? They sure do look nice with all your Easter things. I wonder If you hear what I say when I'm over there visiting you. I Miss You Jayce, wish I could see you running around going crazy with your big sister. I bet you could keep up with her, because I can't! Well I just wanted to write you and let you know that you are heavily on my mind this morning, I hope you are having tons of fun up in Heaven, I bet you made lots of friends. Take care my Little Warrior and I will talk with you again soon, Love You Babe, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Tuesday, April 14th 2009 - 09:30:34 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

HAPPY EASTER JAYCE!!! Did you have a egg hunt up in heaven today? I hope so, your sister and Kiana had two, one at home and another one at nanas house, they found almost 150 eggs between the two of them! I can just picture you running aroung finding the eggs with them. I Miss You My Angel, Nana gave me some flowers to bring to you tomorrow, they will look real nice with the other things that are over there. Your little brother looked so grown today, like a little gentlemen, he reminded me of what you would have looked like at his age. I really wish I could have at least one dream with your face in it. How I wish to hold you and rock you to sleep and read to you and sing to you, I wish I could wake up to your handsome little smiling face everyday,. I don't understand why it was so hard for you to be here with your mommy. I Love You so Much Jayce, with all of My Heart and Soul. I can't really say that I can't wait to go to Heaven and be with you because I have the other two here to take care of but I can say that I long to hold you every single day. I look at your brother and sister and ask God "Why" in my head, why you could not be here with us all. I know people say everything happens for a reason but that's not true, like I said before there was honestly no reason why a little baby like you should of ever had to go thru what you did. Everytime I give your little brother a bath I think about how I gave you your first bath after you had already went with the Angels. At least If you were going to leave me I wish we could of had more bonding time, I couldn't even hold you while you were at the hospital. 24 days we spent together, praying you would pull through and I only got to hold you for two of those days, the day you were born and the day after, until they told me you were sick. There is so much I wanted to do with you. I want you to truly know how much I care for you. I Love You My Little Warrior, more than words could ever say. Goodnight Sweetheart, I hope you dream about me or at least know who I am. Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever, Sleep tight Angel...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Sunday, April 12th 2009 - 08:42:42 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning to Our sweet little grandson.The sun is shining and the birds are singing and it is Easter.So,HAPPY EASTER JAYCIE.Mommy,Lexi,little David,Kiana and big David and your Uncle Ryan are coming up to Nana and Pappys today.Your Pappy is going to hide 95 eggs in the yard for an Easter egg hunt.Pappy will hide some for you too.Do you like the Easter things Mommy brought to you? Nana will send a great big bunch of flowers with mommy to bring to you today. Your little brother is getting really big.8 weeks old today.What a big boy you are too.Can it be you are 18 months old already?Wow a year and a half.How Nana wishes you were here and could be a part of all the special things we do for the holidays. Nana and Pappy made a Lamb cake and some jello jigglers in the shape of eggs.What does God and heaven have planned for you and all the little angels today? What ever it is,I am sure it is really special.How is Pappy shoemaker and Nana Mitch and Jeff doing? Tell them I love them all and am thinking of them. Love you little fellow with all of my heart and soul.I will see you one day again.HAPPY HAPPY EASTER and GOD BLESS YOU. Love,love and Love you some more. Have a fun filled day and sleep tight tonight.Much Love,Nana and Pappy too.xxxoxoxoxoxxxxxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoox

Sunday, April 12th 2009 - 06:39:32 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi my precious Lil man, how big you must be getting, wish I could see what you look like. Yesterday was a little hard on mommy, can't believe you were called to Heaven 17 months ago still feels like yesterday I was holding you in my arms. Your little brother David reminds me more and more of you with each day that passes, I think mommy had to give birth to another little boy to help me be happy again, I want you to know that he is not a replacement but that it does soothe me having a baby to hold in my arms once again. I know I haven't been writing like I used to but If you are watching me then you know that I honor you everyday, I have already told your brother about you, even though he is too young to understand. I want you to know that each and everyday I hold you in my Heart and still am thinking about you as much as I did before. I Love You Jayce, I wish I could spend Easter with you, it would be your second one already. Your sis Alexiyah still tells me she Misses and Loves you so much. I know I say this all the time but how I wish all my babies were together. Tonight I'm watching my friend Randileighs little boy and seeing him running around reminds me of how old you would be compared to your brother. I can't tell you enough how much I care for you. If there was anything that I could do to have you back in my life honey, you know I would do it for you. I am your mother just as you are my son forever and nothing will ever change that. I have such a loving bond for you that will never ever go away. I'm going to come over to your resting place tomorrow with some really cute Easter stuff and some flowers, me and pop pop and little David are gonna stop by. I Love You Baby and will Miss You for the rest of my life, Goodnight Jayce and sleep tight and know that I am always thinking of you even If I'm not writing. Hugs n Kisses Forever n Always...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Thursday, April 9th 2009 - 07:03:02 PM

Our little Baby Roberts:

Oh how we miss you so much. We wanted you to be with us. I hope you suffered no pain and are loving being in heaven with great grandma and all your great grandpa's. I know they will look out for you until Mommy and Daddy can be with you too. Please watch over us while we get through the trying time now and please ask grandma and grandpa to do the same and tell them how much we miss them too and will always honor them and their lives, no matter the cost.

I think of you so much and still cry a lot. I can't imagine ever getting over losing you. If we are lucky enough to get pregnant please know we won't be trying to replace you.

Love always,
your mommy forever
XOXOXOXOXOX

Monday, March 30th 2009 - 05:35:19 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning to Nanas sweet angel baby.How are you today Jayce? Nana sure does miss you and sure does love you so very very much.I could not stop thinking of you all day yesterday.In 2 weeks you would be a year and a half old already.How I wish I could see you. My what a big handsome boy you must be by now.As you know,we had your little brother Davids baby shower yesterday.Lots of people came to welcome him and everyone had a good time. Did you get the blue star balloon that pappy sent to you yesterday? He tried to get it all the way up to heaven for you.Lexi was such a big helper and she is getting so big.I cant believe she is starting kindergarten in Sept.Every time I hold little David,honey boy,I see YOU.My heart will never stop aching for you.You belonged here with all of the ones that are left here missing you and loving you so much that it hurts.Easter is coming,mommy will be up to your resting place with some nice Easter things for you.Nana wanted to go out and work in the flower beds today,but it is too windy and cold.I have millions of flowers that are going to bloom soon and I will bring you lots of them.Always know that you are in our hearts minds and souls and even though we cant be together physically we all carry a part of you with us.YOU will never be forgotten,and Jaycie ,you will be loved for eternity.I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH,Your Nana Kim and Your Pappy Too.

Monday, March 30th 2009 - 07:25:31 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Angel Baby, i stopped by today with the St. Patricks Day things, I hope you liked them. I cant tell you how much I Love You and Miss You, my life will never be fully complete, I always going to think what life would be like if you were here with me. I Love your brother and your sister so so much but i will always think about you no matter what. I still cant believe that you went with the Angels. Wish things could be different Baby, Love You Jayce Rylan Forever n Ever, Hugs n Kisses... Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoooxx oooxoxooxoxoxoxx

Saturday, March 14th 2009 - 12:42:43 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Saturday, March 14th 2009 - 12:37:02 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Little Angel, mommy just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you, I'm going to bring you St. Patty's Day stuff probably tomorrow. Oh Jayce, how I miss you so, your little brother reminds me so much of you at times, certain expressions he makes, it kinda makes me feel like I have you all over again. I wish so bad you were here with us. I still have not had one dream with your face in it. I'm hoping that in time, one day I will. I love you so much Jayce and one day we will be together again. Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Saturday, March 7th 2009 - 08:33:25 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning to our little angel.How are you today sweet Jayce? Your brother David Jayce was a week old already on Sunday.Mommy took him to the Dr. on Monday.He has gained 12 ounces and has grown an inch and a half already.My precious darling grandson,how i MISS YOU more and more everyday.I find my self quite often calling little David Jayce your name,and I also must say that when I look at him I SEE YOU my honey boy.How I wish you were here with us.You are the big brother sweetheart.I so wanted to see you grow and play with you little brother and big sister and to laugh and run around and give kisses and hugs,and I even wanted to see you be a little bad sometimes too.Mommys life would be just perfect ,to have all her children together.I know mommy is very happy to have had little David,BUT she will miss and love you for the rest of her life,and So will Nana and Pappy.Rest in peace and God bless you my sweet grandson My Jaycie Rylan I shall love you for all eternity.Much Love to you always.Your Nana Kim and Pappy too.

Wednesday, March 4th 2009 - 06:26:32 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Thankyou so much Baby for watching over me and your brother while giving birth. I have been thinking about you an awful lot, everytime I look at your little brother David I think about you. It was an honor to put him in the same outfit you wore for your pictures, he has some of your features, I feel like God blessed me with a Boy again because he knew that what happened was wrong and knew how much I was hurting. I Love You My Sweet Angel and I still want you here, my beautiful children all together, but I know it can't be and I just have to wait to see you again, and I promise I will hold you and cherish you forever n ever. I hope you're watching me take care of little David and know that you would have also been loved unconditionally. Take care up there My Little Warrior, I will talk with you again soon. I Love You so Much. Hugs n Kisses Always...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Wednesday, February 25th 2009 - 07:38:19 AM

Sweet Baby Boy Jonathan:

Hi my sweet little boy. This past week has been a turning point for me in my grief and I am finally ready to let you go - to accept that you will not be with me until I join you in Heaven. I still long to hold you in my arms and hear you cry and see you fall asleep after you have had your bottle, but I am giving all of my broken dreams to God. I am asking Him to help me to let go and I know that is a start for this final phase of acceptance. Please know that you will not be forgotten, I think of you everyday and will continue to think of you everyday. I love you and I know that all of my loved ones that have gone before me are keeping you company until I come join you. Until then... know that I will always love you with all of my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love,Kisses and Hugs from Mommy:+)

For any of you who would like to read about my grief journey, please go to:
www.caringbridge.org/visit/jonathanhaskins

Sunday, February 22nd 2009 - 06:06:26 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good Evening to Nanas little angel baby.I have wonderful news for you honey boy,but I bet you already know what it is.Your beautiful,strong mommy gave birth to your little brother today at 4:18 p.m.I cant believe it, but he weights 9pounds2 ounces.What a big boy.He is 20 inches long.Your mommy was such a trooper,and little David Jayce is so soft and beautiful.How I wish you were here to see him and play with him.Mommy is thinking about you so much right now,giving birth again brought back all the memories of when you were born for both your mommy and your nana Kim.It must have felt so wonderful for your mommy to hold a little baby in her arms again,but I know how very much she misses you sweet grandson of mine.I know you are so much on her mind right now,and I know how much she loves you darling.We shall never forget you and we will hold you close to all of our hearts forever Jaycie.God bless you honey and sleep well tonight.Thank you for watching over your mommy and little brother and I am so happy that they are both safe,healthy and doing fine.Thank God for me little buddy.All my love to you.millions of kisses and hugs baby boy. Your nana Kim

Sunday, February 22nd 2009 - 04:51:25 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Little Angel. Today is the day! I'm on my way over to the hospital now so wish me luck Baby and watch over me and your little brother, please!? I Love You With All of My Heart Jayce. Hugs n Kisses to My Little Warrior, you will Forever be Cherished and Missed...Love Always, Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Sunday, February 22nd 2009 - 03:53:14 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Sunday, February 22nd 2009 - 03:52:19 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good evening sweet Jayce,Tonight is the eve of the birth of your little brother David Jayce.Mommy is going into the hospital to be induced at 7:00 a.m.If all goes quick,he should be born by suppertime at the latest.Watch over your mommy and little brother tomorrow.Please ask God for everything to go good.OK?Today your pappy and I butchered 3 pigs in our butcher shop.Boy we sure do have a lot of pork chops now.Do you get to eat pork chops up in heaven?Spring is on its way,I saw a bunch of flowers starting to come up already when I was out working in the yard today.I even made 2 pinapple upside down cakes today.I sure do miss your big sister Alexiyah.I have not seen here for well over a week now.She is at her Daddys house till after David is born.I love you and as always I miss you so so much.I will never stop wishing that you were here with all of us.Sleep tight and dont let the bed bugs bite.Love you,Love you and I love you some more. Nightie Night to Nanas special little angel.Big kisses and hugs honey boy. Nana Kim

Saturday, February 21st 2009 - 04:54:02 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning sweet angel of mine,The angles of the sunlight are changing and I think I am beginning to feel Spring in the air.I even saw some daffodils and tulips starting to peek out of the ground.Nana just cant wait to Spring is here.Where is your little brother? He was due to be born on Sunday,but he is not ready to greet the world just as yet I guess.Your poor mommy,she is getting so big and uncomfortable,and she is not able to get any sleep.Lets all hope and pray that he comes today,ok?Do you like your Valentine Decorations?Nana must get down to your resting place sometime soon.Gosh,Little Jaycie,do I ever miss you,there is not a day that goes by that I dont think of you.How I wanted you to be a little brother to your big sister Alexiyah Sierra.I know one day Nana will be reunited with her honey boy,but it seems like such a long wait till that happens.As I said before,I will be a good Nana and make you very proud to say that I am your Nana.I love you with all of my heart and soul.Take care sweetheart and have a good day. All my love to you Jayce Rylan.Your Nana Kim

Tuesday, February 17th 2009 - 05:57:00 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Tuesday, February 17th 2009 - 05:56:05 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweetheart! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY BABY! Hope you had a good one in Heaven, I bet you got a lot of girl Angels that want you as their Valentine. Yesterday I stopped over at your resting place with Alexiyah and we put everything back real nice, the only thing that we couldn't find was your balloon, but it still looks so nice, I think you were the only one that had Valentine stuff up, everybody else still had Christmas wreaths. I have been praying to you and God that your Little brother comes on the 15th and right now I can't sleep and I'm having a little bit of pain, so we will just have to wait and see! I Love You Jayce and Mommy will talk with you again tomorrow, Hugs n Kisses, Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoAND A MILLION MORE TO MY SWEET VALENTINE!!!

Saturday, February 14th 2009 - 11:37:20 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi my precious little Angel, how are you today? Mommys ok, just patiently waiting for your little brother, I'm hoping he decides to come on Sunday because its the 15th and you know how special that will be. Were you watching me and your sis Alexiyah set up all the Valentines day stuff at your resting place? I was sooo mad at the wind yesterday, I was thinking that it probably blew all the nice things we left for you, I'm gonna stop over today and try to fix everything. Oh Jayce, how I still Miss You so much, when I think about what happened and how it did sometimes it still just doesn't seem real. I Love You Baby and I want to hold you and watch you grow, its so hard to not have you here with me. I wish I could take care of you like a Mommy is suppose to do with their child. I hope you remember that I'm your mommy, because I will never forget that you are my Son. Watch over me Jayce and know that you are loved every minute of everyday, you hold a very very special place in My Heart and Always will. My Perfect Little Warrior, Love Always, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoP.S. U R MY VALENTINE!

Friday, February 13th 2009 - 06:35:55 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Dear Sweet Jaycie,How are you today? My how much we miss you.It still seems as though you were only born yesterday.I still can not believe that you left us 15 long months ago.WOW.And it is even harder to believe that your little brother David Jayce will be born any day now.Sunday the 15th is his actual due date.Mommy and Lexi and Kianna were up to the farm yesterday to see all of the new baby lambs that are being born,we have almost 20 of them now. Lexi collected the eggs from the chickens and held a couple chickens,and even got to hold one of the baby lambs.How I wish so bad that you could be a part of Nanas new life.We would have so much fun together. I really feel that you lost out on so much by not being able to stay here with all of the ones that just love you so so much.Nana and Pappy are doing much better then the last time I wrote to you. Please watch over all of us,especially your mommy.Tell God Nana said hello and have a fun day and sleep tight tonight my little warrior,and always know that you are loved so much more then words could ever say.Much Love to Nanas precious little Grandson. We Love You,We Love You and WE Love You some more.Nana and Pappy Sutliff.xxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox

Tuesday, February 10th 2009 - 02:00:41 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi Sweetheart, just a quick note to say I Love You and I Miss You. Its almost 2am I can't sleep, never could when I was pregnant, that's when you guys decide to move around a lot and give me heartburn! I go to the doctors tomorrow so I will talk with you afterwards and I am also going to bring the cute little Valentines Day stuff to your resting place, I wanted to wait for all the snow to melt but it keeps snowing. Sweet Dreams My Little Warrior, I'm gonna try to get some type of rest for the night, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever, I LOVE YOU...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Tuesday, February 3rd 2009 - 11:10:41 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning to Nanas sweetie pie,How are you today?We are in Febuary already.It is ground hog day today,that means that spring will be here in a few weeks. I cant wait to bring you lots of daffodills,tulips and hyacyths from my garden.Mommy has only 13 days till the due date of your new little baby brother David Jayce.We are all getting very excited and anxious for him to be born.Watch over him little guy and if you can talk with God a little bit,please ask him for everything to be alright with this new baby . How I wish you cold have stayed here with all of us and been a strong and healthy little boy.My you must be getting so big by now.I still wonder if you grow up in heaven?It has been a rough couple of weeks for your Nana and Pappy.Pappy went away for a week to stop drinking.It was 2 weeks yesterday that Pappy has been sober.Nana had a nervous breakdown over your Pappys drinking and I was in the nut house for a week. Oh boy,what a mess huh honey boy?Living this human existence can sure be hard at times.Mommy has something for your resting place for Valentines day.Will you be Nanas Sweetheart on Valentines day? I have to get ready to go to a Drs. appointment,so I shall say good bye for now. I love you and MISS you more then words could ever say.Have a wonderful day and tell God that your Nana Kim said hello. Much Love to Nanas special little angel,my precious Jayce Rylan.

Monday, February 2nd 2009 - 05:22:29 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Little Warrior Angel, Just a little note to let you know that I am thinking about you and that Mommy only has 3 weeks left until your little brothers arrival, but I have been having some pains so maybe sooner. Keep watching over your loved ones baby, its pretty hectic down here right now, and please Watch over Nana Kim shes going through some tough times right now, ill let her inform you if she wants to write it on here, but I'm sure you already know Baby. I Love You So Much Jayce and I Miss You Tremendously, My Precious Angel, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Friday, January 23rd 2009 - 02:46:51 PM

charles j commander v:

my son, your birthdate just passed. and i miss you so much. you would be a year old running around everywhere. your daddy walked early so i was guessing you probably wouldve also. nobody acknowledged your birthday. i felt sososo alone. i bought you a little blue birdie and a birthday card. yesterday i missed you so much. i looked through all ofyour things and photos. i cant believe you are gone. it hits me like a train and i break down completely. noone to talk to. i dont want them to feel bad or tiptoe around me or for them to watch me have nervous breakdowns. i just want everyone to remember you. i feel like im losing it,CJ. you touched my life and changed everything. nothing means anything to me anymore. i dont really care about anything. i know everyone is going to die. so i am just waiting...... i cant WAIT to be with you and GOD. i hope i dont go to the other place. i wish your sisters knew you. they are grown up and have their own lives now. no more summers in the sun or making a christmas or new years for them or having them decorate each others bday parties. you would have grown to be an adult and i wanted to teach you things and give you MY LOVE. and protect you and i couldnt. i cant. ive failed. i should have held out a little longer. maybe a few more days on that drip would ve made a difference. but the nurse said my organs were failing. and the doctor took you sososo early! im sorry, i didnt know the preeclampsia would come so fierce this time. your sisters made it through fine. im so angry with myself!CJ, i love you. i would gladly trade places with you. i could look down on you and your sisters, my precious daughters. and see you and them all the time. but i know you are happy up there. and i have ashsam a reason to get me up in the morning. your father and i are married now. he is working so hard as usual. i know he thinks about you, cj. he just doesnt talk about you. he doesnt show his feelings very well. im sorry i havent written to you in so long. i miss you and love you, mommy

Monday, January 19th 2009 - 11:49:48 AM

charles j commander v:

dear cj,
your birthdate just passed. i have been missing you so much. i bought you a little blue birdie stuffed animal and a card. i hope you saw it somehow.if you can see down here on earth. i imagine you being one years old. i know you are happy where you are. and i am trying my best to live. i wish ashley and samantha could have met you.
i love you,
mommy

Monday, January 19th 2009 - 11:29:22 AM

charles j commander v:

Monday, January 19th 2009 - 11:29:06 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

My Precious son, 15 months old already. I Miss You More and More everyday I just don't know why I have to deal with this for the rest of my life, I have never felt pain like this and knowing that it is permanent, something that will neve go away, its scary Baby. Can't stop wishing you were with me or at least wishing I could come visit with you where you are every morning and then come back home to Alexiyah. I guess you know that my patience is wearing thin with being pregnant with your little brother, I itch sooo bad I just wanna rip my skin off, and I itched like this with you so I pray that everything will be ok this time. Please Jayce be with me in spirit on that day I give birth, help to make sure that everything goes well. I want more than anything in this world for you to be able to play and learn with your brother and sister, you would have been so physically loved with us all, but now its only emotionally that I can express it to you. Take care My Little Warrior, run and play with all the other precious Angels today, I Love You Jayce, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo And A Million More!!!

Thursday, January 15th 2009 - 02:03:38 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Thursday, January 15th 2009 - 01:58:36 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good Morning to Nanas Little sweetheart.Boy it sure is a cold cold day here on Earth,its about 18 degrees and feels like 5.I sure hope it is summertime all the time up there in heaven.What are you doing today Jaycie? I miss you so so much.I was down at your mommys and sisters house yesterday with Pappy.I was helping mommy get ready for the arrival of your new little brother.I was thinking of you all day and night.The nursery was suppose to be yours honey boy,and all the little clothes and toys and the crib.I know it is ok with you for your little brother David Jayce to use all your little things,BUT oh how I wish you would have gotten the chance to use them first.Gosh how I love you sweet Jayce.I still remember holding you for the first time when you were born.I only got to hold you 3 times in your life.I want to be able to hold you now and kiss and love you.IT HURTS that I cant.All of US miss and long for you here on earth.One day we shall all see you again and what a celebration we will have.Watch over Mommy and Lexi,they find it so hard to be without you.PLEASE come into mommys dreams for her.She needs to see your little beautiful face again.Know that we all are thinking of you and loving you with all of our hearts.Have a fun day today and sleep well tonight.You are and always will be my sweet,precious,innocent First grandson,My little Jaycie Rylan.Eternall Love little fellow.Your nana and Pappy Sutliff.WE LOVE YOU.xxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxox

Thursday, January 15th 2009 - 05:16:23 AM

amanda faith wooten forrest:

i baby girl,stopping by to let you know i was thinking of u and how much i miss u and want u with me on earth.oh baby i cant even tell u what life has ben like everyday wanting to share it with u and have u with me.i didnt know this site was here until i was on another vm page and saw it.keep your angels wings over me & protected its working right now as al test has come back NO CANCER and so good so far,i wil visit back soon love ya angel.mommy come visit us at www.myangelamandafaith.virtual-memorialscom

Wednesday, January 14th 2009 - 04:47:49 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hey My Little Angel, just wanna talk with you before I go to bed and tell you about your sister Alexiyah. About an hour ago she woke up really sad and crying her eyes out, I went in her room and asked her "what's wrong? Why are you crying?" and she said because of Jaycie, oh Honey she misses you so much, I didn't think it affected her that much because she was 3 years old but apparently she thinks about it a lot and then I started crying with her and held her and she fell back asleep. Alexiyah and I went to the hospital today for my check in visit for your little brother and I think that brought back a lot of memories for her because she was talking about a lot as we were walking into the hospital. Oh Jayce Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn't we all be together and be a happy Family? I just wish you were here sooo bad. I Miss You Baby, I Love You with all of My Heart, sleep tight my Little Warrior and please watch over your sister and let her know you Love her because she has so much Love for you. Its late and Nana Kim is coming down tomorrow at 6am, so I will talk with you again soon Baby, Goodnight, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Tuesday, January 13th 2009 - 09:18:56 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Tuesday, January 13th 2009 - 09:17:39 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Little Sweetheart, do you see all the snow we are getting down here? Your sis Alexiyah is sleding right now with her Daddy, I wanted to take her but can't cause of mu big belly! Nana and I were talking today and were going to put a little something together for you for Valentine's Day and bring it to your resting place, you know you are still Mommys Valentine no matter what! I Love You Jayce and Miss You sooo Much, talk with you soon. Hugs n Kisses...Mommy

Saturday, January 10th 2009 - 02:03:19 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Saturday, January 10th 2009 - 02:02:52 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Little Angel, I didn't know why I was so emotional lastnight and this morning, then I realized the date today. I Miss You Soooo much Jayce, it is so hard to believe that you have been away from me for 14months, it still doesn't quite seem real, I still think of you everyday. I have been getting everything ready for your little brothers arrival and it just brings so many thoughts of you, I still have the same diaper bag packed with the same things that I'm going to bring to the hospital when I give birth. I just wish you were here, you and your sis Alexiyah really missed out on getting to know eachother, she talks about you still too Baby, you will never be forgotten or replaced remember that. Yesterday your sis went with her Daddy and I was looking at the pictures of her around the house and started crying for some reason, I was thinking "wow! How she grew up so fast" its amazing can't believe shes almost 4 and a half, time goes too fast. Well My Little Warrior just wanted to talk with you and tell you what's on my mind. I Love You more and more everyday, you are so special to me, I have an Angel for a Son, Miss You Baby, talk with you again soon, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Always...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Thursday, January 8th 2009 - 09:42:23 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Thursday, January 8th 2009 - 09:41:51 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning sweet sweet Grandson Of mine.How are you today?Ohhhhh Jaycie honey,I miss you so so much.It is 14 months ago today you left us. I still cant help myself from asking WHY WHY WHY?I have to leave for work now,but I just wanted to say hello and I Love You I Love YOU and I Love you some more.Have a good day sweetheart.All our love,your nana and Pappy Sutliff.

Thursday, January 8th 2009 - 07:37:33 AM

Breanna Gabriel:

Hello Angel and happy new year! it's been a while since i have written you but things have been a little crazy down here. i miss you more than ever round this time and it breaks my heart that i didnt get to watch you open presents or watch fireworks. i can just imagine all that i am missing out on. i wish that i could see what you would be doing or learning. i see other babies and always find myself comparing them to you. i still even talk about you like your here or like im waiting for you to come home. its been a year and three months that youve been gone and it still feels like yesterday that i was rocking you to sleep.i looked at you pictures today and that beautiful smile of your gave me such a warm feeling just like it always did. You were the one thing that could brighten my day with just a simple grinn or giggle. You were truly an angel from the day ou were born. I miss you so much and i love you forever.

Love
Always
Mommy

Friday, January 2nd 2009 - 09:59:56 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Angel, HAPPY NEW YEARS JAYCE, I don't know how happy it is, I have been pretty upset the whole day, the only good thing that happened is I took your sis Alexiyah to go see the fireworks, oh and I got my last ultrasound done, your little brother is almost 6pounds already. I MISS YOU so damn much Baby, the pain is not getting any easier, I think I'm always going to feel this way. I know I have so many people who support me through this but why do I still feel all alone.? I don't even know what to tell myself anymore, I want you back sooo bad its unbearable. I can't wait to have your brother here but I'm still going to Miss You and Love you unconditionally. Why can't I just take a look at you if only for a couple minutes.? That would make my pain a little better, why do I have to wait until I go to hold you again? I hope that some of your spirit is passed through to your little brother, I think its a little crazy that both your due dates are the 16th but if he comes on the 15th that will be even more special to me. I guess the only thing I can do is think about you everyday and keep your memory and Love alive until I can see you again. I hope you are being taken care of where you are, I hope you are Happy and smiling everyday and you never feel any sadness or pain, I like to think that, it eases my mind a little. I can't believe its 2009 it doesn't seem like you have been away from me for this long, and I don't think it ever will, it will probably always feel like just yesterday when I gave birth to you and got to hold you in my arms for the very first time. I LOVE YOU JAYCE, My Little Warrior with all of my Heart and Soul. Keep me Strong Sweetheart, Sweet Dreams Baby, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Always...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Wednesday, December 31st 2008 - 11:31:25 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Wednesday, December 31st 2008 - 11:29:21 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hello little fellow,How is Nana and Pappys angel doing? We want to wish you a Happy New Year.It is around 6:00 p.m. New Years Eve,We just got home from work about an hour ago. I talked to your mommy and she is really stressed out right now.In about 6 weeks your little brother David Jayce is going to be born.As you know you also have a new big sister Kianna.Mommy is always busy and I think she is getting tired of being pregnant.Send her down some patience if you can,she needs a lot of it right now.Boy, we really do miss you Jaycie honey.How we wish you were here with us.You must be such a big boy .14 and a half months old already. WOW. It still seems like we lost you just yesterday.Pappy and I are hoping that this coming New Year will be a GOOD one.Lots of Love,Peace and calmness.Lots of joy and happiness and contentment too. Watch over your mommy and David Jayce and Lexi and Kianna too.OK? And always know that you are in our thought and minds and in our hearts and you are loved more then words could ever express. Much love to you Jayce Rylan.Eternally your Nana and Pappy Sutliff.

Wednesday, December 31st 2008 - 03:22:54 PM

Sweet baby Alec:

I'm so sorry it's been a while since I've written to you but know that I think of every day...sometimes several times each and every day. I still can't believe your 4th birthday is approaching. Seems like yesterday I could still feel you kicking and moving around in my belly. I miss you so much dear sweet Alec. Christmas would have been so much fun with you and how my heart just ached for you to be with me. I hope you like your sleigh and toys I left for you. I'm doing a little better each and every day that passes but please know that even though I am moving forward....you are and always will be with me. All my love dear sweet Alec. xxxxxxxxxxoooooooooo
Love you....Mommy

Tuesday, December 30th 2008 - 09:38:21 AM

Sweet baby Alec:

Tuesday, December 30th 2008 - 09:37:57 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Little Angel...I know I'm a day late but Merry Christmas Baby! I wanted to write you lastnight but I cried a lot yesterday, I still Miss You and Love You with all my Heart and soul. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, you sister Alexiyah sure did get spoiled by everyone in the family, I gotta make room for all of the stuff she got! I was on my Myspace page today and I read a bulletin about a mother who killed her 3 year old daughter, she put her in the trunk in a bag and threw her in the woods, and was partying it up for the last 6 months like nothing ever happened, what a horrible Mother. This makes me think why these heartless people get to give birth and keep their precious babies just to do a horrible thing like that, and why I couldn't keep you here with me, its so backwards and twisted I just don't understand it. I would never do anything to hurt my babies, I Love you guys too much, all I wanted to do was take care of you and show all my Love to you, I really hope you know this and know how my heart aches for you every single day, oh how I want you in my arms Jayce, I'm sorry it had to be this way Baby. Your little brother is so strong already, he kicks me sooo hard it hurts, I just want him out already. I keep thinking of the day when I give birth to him and how I'm going to be thinking about you, I want you to know that YOU Jayce are the one that is gonna give me the strength to push him out no matter how bad it hurts, and how its going to be such an honor to bring him home and put him in your room and crib and everyday when I dress him I will think of you because it is all the clothes you would have wore. I'm so proud to say that you are My Son, My very first Son, thankyou Jayce for being mine and spending the time with me you did even if it Was short. I Love You My Little Warrior and I always will, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Friday, December 26th 2008 - 02:25:21 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Friday, December 26th 2008 - 02:25:19 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning to my sweet Jaycie.Merry Christmas angel baby.It is the day after Christmas and nana has to go to work in an hour.I slept real good last night for a change.It felt so good. How are you? I bet it was a really special day up in Heaven yesterday.Did you have a wonderful Christmas honey? Jesus must have had a great birthday party.Did all you little angels get lots and lots of presents? I wish you could be here with all of your loved ones.You are on my mind and in my heart so much these past few days.It would have been such a perfect,complete holiday for nana and pappy and your mommie and sister Lexi if you just could have been here with us.I have to get ready for work now,but just wanted to say how much we all miss you love you and continue forever to wish you were here.Have a good day sweetheart.Eternal Love,nana and pappy Sutliff.MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU MY PRECIOUS LITTLE JAYCE.

Friday, December 26th 2008 - 06:33:02 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My sweet sweet Angel, hope everything is well, I am Missing you sooo much Jayce, everynight when my head hits the pillow and I think I can get to sleep I cry for you I pray you were here I talk to God but no answer...? I hope you have a wonderful christmas My Little Warrior Baby, I just wish we could spend it together, boy how you would have been spoiled! Mommy is almost 8 months pregnant now and getting impatient, your little brother drives me nuts he kicks sooo hard and it makes me think of you when you were in my belly! Please give me the strength to get thru this Jayce, help me find peace and happiness...I will just never ever understand this its sooo hard to be completely happy when I'm not complete, you here would of made me the proudest Mommy on earth...Why Baby Why did you have to leave? I wish after your brother comes I could take a picture with all my babies, its just sad. Know that I Love You Jayce with all of my heart and more. I will bring you more cute decorations for Christmas, its just a shame I have to go there to visit with you instead of being home with your sis. Keep me strong Baby because you have been doing a great job so far. Love You Jayce, a million Hugs n Kisses for My Angel...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoPlease come to me in my dreams i need to see your cute face! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Tuesday, December 16th 2008 - 12:31:27 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hello,honey boy.How are you? I just cant believe you have been gone for 13 months today.The christmas season is upon us and I just cant seem to get in the spirit of it all.It seems more work then it is worth.I am trying to do the best I can. Do you like the wreath your mommy put at your resting place the other night.Pappy bought the wreath and decorations and nana put it all together for you with even a snowman on it.Please be with us all in spirit over the holiday season,it is just too too unfair we cant have you here with all of us Jaycie.Your great great grandmother would have loved to rock you in her arms.Are you walking and saying words already?I bet you are such a handsome little man by now.Why cant we take a peek up into heaven every once and awhile to see you? Wouldnt that be neat to do?Always know you are in our hearts and souls and minds always and forever.WE MISS YOU AND WE LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH SWEET LITTLE GRANDSON OF OURS.I will write again soon.Just wanted to chat to you for a little. Much Love,Your Nana and Pappy Sutliff.Nightie night Jayce,sleep tight.

Monday, December 8th 2008 - 04:46:10 PM

jaycie rylan mantz:

Hi to nanas little butterball.How was turkey day up in heaven? Boy oh boy we sure just keep right on missing you every single day.Sweet little Jayce there was so much that your nana and pappy would have taught you,if you could have only stayed here with all of us.I wanted you here for thanskiving dinner eating all kinds of good stuff that your pappy cooked.I wanted you to learn all about the farm we have and to know how to drive all kinds of farm machinery as you were growing up.Nana so needed you to help her plant her big garden and to help me keep the weeds out.How I wanted the time to read you books,and give you baths and sing and rock you in the rocking chair.Most of all How I wanted you to have the chance to meet your wonderful big sister Alexiyah Sierra and Your beautiful mommy.Oh how she would have loved and taken care of you and would have been so darn proud of her little boy Jayce.I pray that you are in heaven with Jesus and God and lots of little angel playmates,and that you are very happy and healthy. Know that we will love you till eternity and then some.Hugs,loves and kisses to our special little boy,our Jayce Rylan,Much much love to you honey boy.xxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

Saturday, November 29th 2008 - 06:41:12 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Angel, I know its been a while since Mommy wrote to you and I am sorry for this, its just been real hard for me lately. First I wanna wish you a Happy Thanksgiving I don't know how they celebrate Holidays in Heaven but I hope you got to enjoy it. I want you to know that just because I haven't been writing or stopping by your resting place I am still always thinking about you Baby. You are still loved and missed sooo much. I know I'm having another little Baby Boy but I still wish you were here with me, you would be walking by now! Boy how time flys by I can't believe I'm a little over 7 months pregnant. The closer I'm getting to my due date the more and more I am thinking of you. I'm so sorry Jayce for all the things you had to go through with your short time with us, it wasn't fair at all. One day baby we will be together again, I hope. You were just so perfect, so handsome, I can just imagine how you would look right now! Alexiyah has been telling me she Misses you a lot lately, we all do, I just wish there was something I could do to have you in my arms again. I Love You My Little Warrior and Miss you terribly, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Always...Mommy XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Saturday, November 29th 2008 - 09:36:25 AM

to my darlings i never met:

i have been told 4 years i am unable to have children. 5 years ago at xmas 2008 i lost 1 of you at 11 and half weeks, why? no one knows. 1 year later same thing 11 and half weeks another baby gone.doctors sent me home not sure if i had lost you(both times)i had to wait for the blood test results the next day. well i didn't no how to feel happy i could still have you(both)or sad that i had lost you but trying so hard to be positive.devasted isn't the word to describe i how i felt..extremley pissed off to the point after my 2nd baby had passed i prayed for a gun and i wanted to go into the shopping centre n shot all pregnant women especially drug addicts that were pregnant(not that i know what they look like how can you tell without judging someone? i was and am still mucked up)also women who trap men by 'just falling pregnant'i don't understand why i cant do the easiest thing known to women i'm not a bad person i can't even lie why did my babies have to die? 5 years on i still cant sleep i still cant be around mothers and children long i miss you both so much and i dont no why cos we never met? to be honest i don't even know if i want to try again cos its either 'happens in 3's' or '3rd time lucky' n i don't konow if i could go thru it all again. i miss you both so much i wonder what you both would look like. would you be like me or your dad? i cant get passed this they say time is the healer, iam tired i cant sleep i have tried once to be with you both i do n i dont want to do that again some say i just need to get over yous and try again some even say iam pathetic to 'carry the baggage' for so long i truly dont know how to deal with this thats all! please forgive me my darlings i don't no why i couldn't meet you i'm so sure you would of had a fun time with me n dad. i yearn to hear you yell out 'mummy' but i know i will never hear that. i love you both so much it hurts until we meet again endless hugs n kisses to you both. love forever your mummy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox.

Friday, November 21st 2008 - 04:05:12 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi little guy,just a short letter to tell you nana and pappy are thinking of you,and that we miss you and love you so very much.It was snowing a little bit today,and it gets so dark by five oclock.I wish the sun would shine and it was spring time again.It is going to feel like a long long winter.I bet it is springtime all the time up in heaven.Take care and as always I wish you were here with all your loved ones.Much love,nana and pappy sutliff.

Thursday, November 20th 2008 - 02:28:52 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi Honey Boy,Just wanted to say a quick hello and That I miss and love you so very much,so does your pappy.I have to go to work in a minute,so Have a great day and know that you are always with us in thought. Much love to you,sweet little Jayce. nana and pappy sutliff.LOVE YOU.

Thursday, November 20th 2008 - 07:30:21 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning to Nanas little angel boy.How are you today? I just can not believe that you were laid to rest a year ago yesterday.It was such a hard,heart breaking time for all the ones who love you.Nana was shopping with your mommy and sister yesterday and I was feeling very sad.I want you here for Christmas.I want to buy you cute little outfits and lots of toys.It hurts so much because I Cant. I so much wanted you to get to know and love your beautiful,loving,gentle spirited big sister.She is so wonderful,such a pleasure to be with and such a special little girl.She could have taught you so much.Even though nana is going to have 2 new grandchildren,It wont stop me from wanting and wishing you were here with me.My love for you is eternal.When nanas time is up here on earth I will see you again.Sometimes I just cant wait till I can hold you in my arms again.I will give you a million kisses and hugs.All the ones I would have given you over the years if you were still here.Please Jaycie ask God to watch over your mommy,she is now 7 months pregnant.The doctors all say she is doing fine,but she is really missing you"Our little warrior" Play hard today and laugh,and sleep well tonight,and always know our love is always with you.Much much Love from your nana Kim Sutliff.I Love you,I love you,oh how I love and miss you,my sweet,innocent Little grandson,my Jaycie Rylan.xxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxox

Friday, November 14th 2008 - 06:26:21 AM

Sweet Baby Salter:

Hello Little one,
I need to write this letter to you to tell you how much I wanted you and how much you are loved. I found out just yesterday that I lost you. I have so many questions but most will go unanswered. What happened to you? Did I do something wrong? Was my body just not the place for you? Why did God bless me with you but then take you away? Were you my little girl I was dreaming of or my precious liitle boy? I know I will never know but these questions and so many others are racing in my mind. The next few days are going to be hard. Tomorrow we have to have surgery and I feel like after that surgery you will be gone forever. Even though I have already lost you, I still feel connected to you because you are still inside me.
Your brother was excited about you. He still points to mommy's tummy and says "Baby in there". He doesn't understand and I don't expect him to. We just have to find the best way to explain it to him. We are going to tell him that you have gone up to be with Ravven in Heaven. Ravven was our dog that died in June. He knows she is up in the sky in Heaven so now he will know you are with her.
Your uncle Wes & future aunt Michele is also having a baby. They are due the day before you were due. It is going to be very hard watching her pregnancy and wishing I still had you. I want to be happy for her but I am so sad about you. I was so excited that you and their baby were going to be so close in age. You would always have a friend to play with that was your age. I am so sorry for this.
The unknown is what is so hard for me. What were you going to be like? Did you have your brothers sweet spirit, your daddy's sense of humor or your mommy's sensitive touch? Will I meet you in Heaven? Do we give you a name? I just don't know. This is all so new and unknown to me.
Please just know how much we love you and will always miss you. Even though I never felt you inside. I knew you were there and tried so hard to do the best I could for you. I did everything right, or so I thought. I have stayed away from all foods I shouldn't have, all meds I shouldn't have, all that I was supposed to do. Now I have to wonder how to grieve. I never knew you, never felt you but have loved you before you were there. I am so afraid that the next time we do get pregnant I won't want to get as close as I did this time because I will be so afraid of losing that baby too. I will always wonder about you and be sad for you. I just hope and pray that one day I will meet you in Heaven and you will not blame me for the miscarriage. I love you terribly and am so sorry.
I will never forget you.
All my love and for Eternity,
Your mommy

Tuesday, November 11th 2008 - 06:18:26 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning to my sweet little Jaycie.How are you doing today? It is going to be 70 degrees today,and it is November.I miss you and I love you so very very much.Tomorrow is November 8th.It will be one year since you passed away. I can hardly believe it has been a year already.Everyone tells us that TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS,but I dont believe that is always true.It still seems like only yesterday that your mommy gave birth to you and that nana held you in her arms.I know that tomorrow is going to be a really hard day for mommy.If you can my little angel,give your mommy some kind of a sign that you are still with her,and watching over her.Tonight would be a wonderful night for her to have a dream about you.I am so sorry that Nana and Pappy did not make it to the memorial at St.Christophers Hosp. last Saturday.For nana and pappy it would have just been way to hard to go back down to the hospital that we lost you in.I hope that you can understand and I hope that your mommy understands and forgives us for not being there.Your little brother is growing in your mommys belly,before we know it Feb. will be here and so will your little brother.Alexiyah is getting so so big and she tries hard to be a good girl.Nana is still collecting pennies in your memory and I hope to donate it to a good charity soon.Oh Little Jayce,sweet grandson of mine,how I wish you were here.I wish Santa could bring you lots of toys and that I could watch you laugh and play with them.How I wish I could hold you in my arms and sing to you and kiss and hug you.I MISS YOU.The worst part of it all is there is nothing I can do to bring you back.Pappy loves and misses you too.GOD BLESS YOU. Much,much love to you.Your nana KIM.

Friday, November 7th 2008 - 05:47:38 AM

Lovely Little No Name Campbell...:

You were only beginning to blossom when I lost you and although months have now passed, I find I still think of little else...
I am so sorry you never got to take your first breath, make your first cute baby noise or even see your mammy & daddy smiling down at you... It seems now that the timing just wasn't right for you and, as much as it hurts, I must accept the idea. Just as my body began to embrace you - you were gone. But I won't forget...
This weekend marks the day you were to be born into the world, alas, instead I will be alone. Lost in thought of all the things that might have been.. of all the love we never got to show. We never got to prove ourselves to you and now all we can do is remember - remember a lovely little thing with no name... xox love Jules. x

Tuesday, November 4th 2008 - 07:22:22 AM

Aaron James:

Hey Pumpkin- Mommy wanted to write you to make sure you knew how much I loved you and that I wanted to wish you the a very happy birthday! Three years old....WOW! Your a big boy now! I would give anything to be with you and to give you a big kiss. I wish I could throw you a great big old birthday party. Please know that I am ALWAYS thinking of you. Ow I miss so much. Please stay with me, I need you wish me. I feel us drifing sometimes, but I am your Mommy and I need you now more than ever.
Although my heart is broken today, I want you to know how excited I am that it is your day! You only get one a year and this is yours. I remember everything about the day you were born. I will always wish it could have been easier for you and that the outcome were different but in some respects I feel everything happened for a reason, and someday we will know what that is. A life time seems to long to wait to be reunited, but if that is what we have to do.....then we will. Paige and I sand Happy Birthday to you a few times today, I can't wait tills he is old enough to understand how lucky she is to have you as her big brother. She reminds me of you sometimes.....but she nor will any other child remotely take your place. Our time with you was the best times of our lives and nothing will ever compare.
Have a great day Aaron, enjoy it all! I am sure you are suronded by lots of people who love you. Hugs and Kisses! Mommy misses and loves you so very much! to the moon and back!
Love,
Mommy

Monday, November 3rd 2008 - 05:54:00 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi Nanas Little pumpkin,I just wanted to say hello and that I love you and have been thinking about you so much here of late.I bet up in heaven it is springtime all the time. Nana is so sad,because Mr. Frost came and now all of my flowers have frost and I cant pick them for you anymore. We have to wait till spring and that seems a long long time away.Nana does not like winter very much,it gets so cold,and there is not much color outside.BUT,I sure wish you were here with your nana Kim,so I could hold you in my arms and we could sit by the wood stove in your great great great great grandmothers rocking chair.That would keep me warmer this winter.I gave your mommy the last of the yellow mums to put at your resting place when she was up to visit on Wednesday.Your big sister Alexiyah Sierra is so beautiful and so so smart.How I wish you two could have got to know one another.It is just so unfair that you had to leave us,I will never ever stop thinking of you and missing you so hard. Have a good day with the other angels today. All my Love to you,sweet sweet little Jaycie.Your Nana Kim.Big hugs and kisses.

Friday, October 24th 2008 - 06:26:29 AM

charles j commander v:

My precious baby, my tiny little son, my missing piece,
i miss you so much! i love you so much! noone knows how much! cj, i know that you are with me every day. i hope that you are proud of me. and i hope taht you can see your sisters and your daddy too. and those crazy dogs;bear and polison. you are pure love, pure energy and i can not wait to be with you one day. tell god that i love him.
i love you, mommy

Wednesday, October 22nd 2008 - 11:36:56 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good evening and Happy First Birthday to our precious little boy.Oh god Jaycie we miss you so so much.As you know we just got back from visiting you at the cemetary.It was so hard to think of a way to celebrate your first birthday.Your great great grandmother was so happy to be a part of your celebration. Nana read two poems and we lit candles and all sang happy birthday.Your resting place looks beautiful.It is the brightest one in the whole place.Nana brought you a ghost,and your other nana brought you a real nice flower arrangment,and there is even a little pumpkin and a birthday balloon. The moon was full and bright orange and I watched your little night light come on.I made cupcakes and wrote Happy birthday Jayce Rylan on them in blue icing.After wards nana and pappy and mommy and Lexi and your cousins Michelle and Alex went out to eat.I know it is a very hard day for your mommy today and tonight.Please Jayce be with mommy tonight,watch over her and help her to get through this sad time.Let her dream about you tonight if at all possible.She has not been able to have one single dream of you since you passed away.We all love you so very much and miss you more then words can ever say.Happy Birthday dear sweet innocent Grandson of mine.Eternal rest and God bless you.With so much love,Your Nana Kim and Pappy too.

Wednesday, October 15th 2008 - 06:41:36 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

<a href="http://www.myhotcomments.com/"><img src="http://lc.fdots.com/cc/lc/21/214310ba0f12c1f66b131778c60a2e4e.gif" border="0" alt="MyHotComments.com"></a><br><a href="http://www.myhotcomments.com/graphics/45254">MyHotComments</a> <br clear="left">...I LOVE YOU MY SWEET SWEET ANGEL, HOPE YOU HAVE FUN TODAY WITH ALL THE OTHER ANGEL BABIES IN HEAVEN. I MISS YOU SOOOO MUCH, WISH YOU WERE HERE SO WE COULD CELEBRATE IT TOGETHER. HUGS N KISSES ALWAYS AND FOREVER, HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY JAYCE WITH LOTS N LOTS OF LOVE...MOMMY XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Wednesday, October 15th 2008 - 04:39:34 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

I

L
O
V
E

Y
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U
and Miss you so so much, My precious Son

Tuesday, October 14th 2008 - 11:46:44 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Little Angel, How are you today? You must be getting sooo Big by now,this month is very difficult for Mommy, I cannot believe that you are going to be 1 year old this month on the 15th, I Miss You sooo much. I'm at Nana Kim's house with Alexiyah we went to the pumpkin patch today and we all picked out cute little pumpkins for you. I made candles with all of our names on them, and on the 15th we are going to come and visit with you and read you a poem and light the candles. I am 5 n a half months pregnant now and I still am thinking about you every single day that passes. I don't know how I am going to feel when your little brother is born, I know I'm going to be happy and love him with all of my heart, but it's going to be such an emotional day for me. God I just want you here sooo bad with your Family. Just know that you are Loved and Cherished so much and you will Always be Loved with all of My Heart and soul and until the day we meet again you will hold a very very special place in My Heart, I LOVE YOU JAYCE, Sleep Tight My Little Warrior, I wish I could rock you to sleep and sing to you every night, Goodnight Angel Baby...Mommy xoxoxoxxoxoxxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Saturday, October 11th 2008 - 04:18:12 PM

Christopher Gabriel Dawes:

Hello my darling Christopher, mummy is thinking of you millions like i do every day, just wishing things were so different, i love you so much & it hurts, mummy is finding life hard at the minute, i love daddy so much, but daddy isnt helping at the minute, we just wish you were here, you would make it all worth while as you always did, i will never stop loving you Christopher Gabriel x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Saturday, October 4th 2008 - 02:34:48 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning honey boy.How is nanas BIG boy doing today?Nana started work this week,I think I am going to like it.Your mommy went to the Doctor yesterday and he says everything is going good with your little brother.Mommy is now 5 months and a week pregnant.It is starting to get cold here on earth.Tomorrow nana and pappy and Lexi and mommy are going to the pumpkin patch.I will pick a little pumpkin for you,cos you are nanas cute little pumpkin.We will also put some fresh flowers at your resting place.Nana washed your little stuffed animals and I will bring those back too.As you know mommy fainted the other day,and Lexi was so scared and didnt know what to do.Please keep an eye on your mommy,Lexi and your little brother.The memorial at the hospital last sunday was really nice.Nana made a delicious apple sauce cake and by the time I got in line for some dessert it was all gone.Oh God Jaycie why cant you be here with us? I just miss and think of you each and every day.Its 7:30 a.m. and nana is going to start her day. We want to clean out the butcher shop today at the farm.We will love you eternally.nana and pappy Too.A million kisses and hugs to you,my darling little angel Jaycie.

Saturday, October 4th 2008 - 04:41:05 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi Sweetheart, How is my little Baby Boy today? Do you like the flowers that your Nana and Pappy brought to you, Nana took all your stuffed animals down so she could wash them for you. I have to come over to visit with you, I know it's been a little while. As you probably know I went to your memorial service, and yes your big sis, Alexiyah was very good, suprisingly! I Miss You sooo much Jayce, you have another memorial coming up in Philly on the first of November and I know that one is gonna be really tough. I go to the doctors tomorrow to find out how your little brother is doing, on Monday for some strange reason your Mommy fainted and fell to the floor, so I went to the hospital the next day cause I was scared something might have been wrong, but Thank God everything was ok, Alexiyah was freaking out she didn't know what was going on. Just keep watching over your Family and try to keep us all safe. I Love You and I will talk with you tomorrow after the doctors, Hugs n Kisses, Sleep Tight My Little Warrior...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Thursday, October 2nd 2008 - 08:00:52 PM

Christopher Gabriel Dawes:

Hello my darling, Mummy is just wondering why??? I love you Christopher Gabriel & will never forget the time we had x x x x x x x It was amazing, just like you x x x x x x

Sunday, September 28th 2008 - 02:45:39 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi Sweetie Pie,How are you today? Is the sun shinning in Heaven? We have been having a lot of rain the last couple of days.The rain always seems to make nana a little depressed. I was just outside getting all wet picking you 2 beautiful bouquets of flowers to bring you after the memorial at St. Lukes Hospital today at 3:30.Keep mommy strong today and I hope Lexi will be a good little girl today.If your cousin Alex comes along we may have 2 little hulligans on our hands.Tomorrow is your great great grandmother Loellas 89th Birthday.How I wish you could have got to know her.She is such a special wonderful nana to me,and great nana to Lindsay and she loves your big sister Alexiyah so much as I know she loves you,even though you never got to know each other.She was always your nana Kims gaurdian angel,until I met your pappy Ronnie.Now Great great nana is able to stand back and Pappy is my gaurdian angel.Always know we all love you so very much and miss you more then words can ever say.Rest in peace,my sweet little Jaycie.Eternal Love,Nana and Pappy too.

Sunday, September 28th 2008 - 08:59:30 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Angel baby, tomorrpw I'm going to a memorial in your name at St. Luke's Hospital, and Nana's going to bring you some flowers afterwards. I Miss You Sweetheart and I Love You with all of my Heart. Watch over me tomorrow so I'm not too sad, they say that your name is going to be sewn onto a quilt with other baby names and it's going to be hung up somewhere in the hospital, that makes me feel good to know that something is going to be put in your memory. On Monday I go for an ultrasound at the same place that your memorial service is at, I don't know how I'm gonna handle that, I just pray that everything is going to be okay with your little brother, watch over him Jayce, and as Always I wish you were still here with your Family. Goodnight My Little Warrior and I know you will be with us all in spirit tomorrow, I LOVE YOU BABY, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Saturday, September 27th 2008 - 07:49:35 PM

Christopher Gabriel Dawes:

Hello my cheeky monkey, mummy wants to tell you i love you very much & miss you Christopher, please catch these kisses i am sending to heaven for you..Goodnight my precious son x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Thursday, September 25th 2008 - 12:14:44 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My sweet Angel Baby, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you and I Love You sooo much. Sleep Tight My Little Warrior, Hugs N kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Tuesday, September 23rd 2008 - 08:55:16 PM

charles j commander v:

My precious son,
i miss you so much. i hope that you are happy where you are. and please know that i love you and i love your daddy. and one day we will hopefully all be together again.
mommy

Tuesday, September 23rd 2008 - 11:31:40 AM

Jamari Moore:

Nana boy my how time flies, your one year anniversary is approaching fast 10-02-07. The hospital group is planning a walk for all of the babies that was lost to mothers. Your mom and another lady was chosing to carry the torch. I know that you will be their in spirit to walk with her, as her heart will be so deeply heavy. She is still having a ruff time from time to time but we are helping her through it. We love you Jamari, and Nana know you are being a good boy.

Sunday, September 21st 2008 - 05:36:15 PM

Jonathan Haskins:

Good Morning Sweet Baby Boy,

Just wanted to let you know that I love, I miss you and wish you here with us.

Love,
Mommy

Sunday, September 21st 2008 - 07:35:49 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Sweet Baby Boy, I am sorry I did not write you on your 11 month milestone, I was very sad and I knew that by writing to you it would have been worse. I don't know where to start...I Love You and Miss You soooo much, My heart still aches for you, like I always say time here goes too fast I still feel like I was holding you in my arms no less than a month ago, I'm still in shock I know that this happen but it just doesn't feel real, I can't believe I lost My Son, My Baby, Half of My Heart. I wish I could dream about you, as you know Mommy is pregnant and I always remember my dreams when I'm pregnant but for some reason you are never in them, I can dream about the hospital, being pregnant with you, but I can never see your face, I don't understand it.? There is never a day that will go by that I won't think about you and wonder what you're doing in Heaven, I wish I could just take a peek, but I know I can't...It's not fair. Mommy went to the doctors yesterday with Nana and Alexiyah and they say that everything is ok but I am still so scared because nobody knew anything was wrong when you were in my belly, I just wish I could of done more for you, I know I did everything I possibly could of but I just wish there was something else that could have been done to bring you home with your Family. You are so Loved by so many people and Always will be. Continue to watch over all of us that love you and keep us safe if you can.? Me, Alexiyah and your cousin Michelle brought you some beautiful yellow mums from Nana's house and Lexi kept giving your stone Hugs n Kisses and I almost broke down, I would do anything in this world to have my children grow up together, I just want you to know that and that I Love You with all My Heart and soul, Take care Mommy's Little Warrior, Don't forget about me, hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO...and a Million More!!!

Thursday, September 18th 2008 - 01:19:10 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi BIG boy,Happy 11 month Birthday to nanas sweetheart.I sure am missing and loving you so much. Nana and Pappy just got home last night from Ocean City,Maryland.Your cousin Ryan and Sara got married on the beach on Saturday.It is so beautiful in Ocean city.I saw the wild ponies on Chink-a-tink Island,and I swam in the ocean,and played on the boardwalk.I wish so badly that you were here with nana and pappy,and mommy and Lexi,so we could do lots of wonderful things together.It seems too long for nana to have to wait till I get to heaven to be able to see you,hold you,and love you with all my being.I miss you so much it hurts my heart.Please watch over your mommy and your little brother growing in mommys belly and keep an eye on your big sister Alexiyah.Always know I love you with all of my heart and soul.Have a good day,and play nice with all the other angel babies up in heaven with you.Much Love,nana and pappy sutliff.I love you,I love you,Oh how much I love and miss you.xxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxo

Monday, September 15th 2008 - 09:47:35 AM

Ronan Donnelly Walker:

Dear Ronan,
I woke up early this morning thinking about you. Of course I think about you every day, though. What I would give just to hold you for a moment and kiss your precious face! Know that I will never forget my beautiful baby. Please watch over your big brother, as I know he so badly wanted a little brother. I love you so much, sweetheart.

Hugs and kisses,

Mommy

Monday, September 15th 2008 - 03:09:21 AM

Christopher Gabriel Dawes:

Hello my beautiful boy, mummy wants to tell you how special you are & how much i love you & miss you, its just horrible not seeing you, touching you, hearing you, kissing you, watching you grow up, i bet your a big boy now, i still cant believe you are not here, but i will love you so much forever & ever my cheeky monkey, its a year on the 23rd since you went to heaven, this time last year i held you in my arms, so very proud of you, you would be falling asleep, yet you would give me a quick peek, just to make sure i was still there with you, then you would smile & fall asleep, i used to watch you sleeping & my thoughts were how lucky i was to have such a gorgeous little baby, i would smile so proudly at you, we were all so happy Christopher, one thing for sure is that our love for you is endless, we will think of you everyday as always, be a good boy in heaven, i bet you've got lots of friends up there to play with, i miss singing to you, you are the only person in the world who loved it, our time together was so special & loving, i am so proud to have had you Christopher for those 4 months, i just wish you were here though with your mummy & daddy & your family, life is just so empty...Goodnight Godbless Christopher Gabriel, lots & lots of kisses to heaven, i hope you catch them, your devoted mummy x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Friday, September 12th 2008 - 10:57:18 AM

charles j commander v:

jayces mom
i guess its no more crazy to do what i do, than to be writing on the internet to heaven. my baby died my babys father and me broke up and then my dad died all in a matter of two months. i have no car, and am still grieving VERY heavily. i tried to work but kept losing it by crying every time i saw a baby. or a happy family. my family has been extraordinary and very supportive. ive lost 40 lbs i guess because of the depression. but i needed to anyway. i have two beautiful daughters that are 18 and 21. i am 41. they are in college. i thank god every day for all of my blessing including getting to be with cj my son. and am happy that all my son needed to do to graduate to heaven was be with me and know my love for him. i feel honored and know that i am a good mother even though i dont have to look after him, nourish and nurture him or teach him. he just came down to connect with me. if only for a short time.

Wednesday, September 10th 2008 - 03:53:25 PM

charles j commander v:

jayces mom,
i wish that i could make things all better and the pain less. i wish i could be there for you when your baby is born to support you or just be that someone that fully understands. i wish i could make our babies come back. its been exactly 8 months TODAY since my baby was born. and 7 months 7 days since my baby died. i am on cymbalta now. and i am talking to my son through drawing the alphabet in a sideways oval and connecting all letters to the middle through drawing lines from each letter to the middle then holding a pendulum over middle and say the 'our father' then i ask god to banish all lost souls, spirits or bad angels, and say "this conversation is between god and me and whatever god's will be. then i ask god if i may speak with CJ my son. and he always says yes. then cj talks with me. god talks with me too. i might be a LITTLE crazy doing this but i dont think anyone would ever understand the pain of losing a child unless they have lost a child. every day i miss him more love him more and wish that my family and friends would talk about him more. cj is in heaven and he chose to come see me. and i am always his mother. and we will be together again.

Wednesday, September 10th 2008 - 03:41:16 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Sweet Angel, I been thinking about you so much lately, I wanted to write you yesterday but I know I would have broke down, I can't believe you left me 10 months ago, it's crazy, your little brother is going to be here before we know it. I wonder if you get to celebrate your first birthday up there in Heaven!? I hope so, I want to do something in your memory. I can just imagine all the things we could be doing together and I know we would have so many great memories and pictures already. I can't describe how much I Miss You, this pain in My Heart will never completely go away, I know I'm trying again but I want you to know that I will Never Ever forget about you I'm always gonna picture you playing with your Sister and Brother, I will hold you in My memory and Heart for as long as I live and then one day we will be together again. I have to come and visit with you and bring some flowers, I will soon promise. Take care My Perfect Little Warrior Angel... Love, Hugs n Kisses Always n Forever, Muah...Mommy XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO XOXO I LOVE YOU JAYCE XOXO
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Tuesday, September 9th 2008 - 02:59:39 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi There,big boy of Nanas.How have you been? I am sorry I have not written to you in a while.As you know I have been pretty sick for the last 3 weeks. I am starting to get better day by day.Today is a very sad day for all of your loved ones.I cant believe you left us 10 months ago today.It still seems like only yesterday.I miss you so so much.In a little over 6 weeks you will be 1 year old already.Time goes by so fast.Is it the same way up in heaven? Your little brother is 4 months old in your mommys belly already.He weighs only 6 ounces right now.Please watch over him and keep him safe. I sure do miss your big sister Lexi,I have not seen her much since I have been sick.It is a very beautiful day here on earth today,yesterday was a nice day too.Nana and Pappy were out on the boat up at Beltzville lake with your Uncle Randy and Aunt Lori.We had a real good time.It is so hard for your nana not to have you with us all so you could be here and a part of all the fun things we do.I will never stop loving you and never stop missing you and thinking of you and oh how I wish you were still here.Pappy says hi little fellow,he loves you and misses you too so very very much.Take care sweet little Jayce and know one day nana will be with you again. We all love you.Always,your nana Kim.XXXXOOOOOXXXXOOOOOOXXXOOOXXXOOOOOOO

Monday, September 8th 2008 - 11:44:31 AM

charles j commander v:

dear son,
it still feels like it was yesterday that you passed. i miss you so very much. i wish that you had lived and i had died. you could meet your sisters and be with your daddy. and i could look down on all of you.
i love you
mommy

Saturday, September 6th 2008 - 05:52:15 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Little Warrior, guess what? Its your Nana Kims birthday today and your Uncle Larrys so wish them a good one! Oh My Son I have been crying a lot lately, I Miss You sooo much its getting unbearable. Alexiyah tells me when I cry "but your having another baby" and I try to explain to her that its not the same, no matter what Jayce I will Always Love and Miss You with all of My Heart and Soul.I took Alexiyah and your cousin Alex to the Allentown fair, they had sooo much fun but boy is that place expensive, it was worth it though they got to go on every ride pretty much. There were so many people pushing their babies in strollers and of course I thought of you and wish you could be with us all. I have to bring you more flowers soon. Alexiyah and I have been driving past a lot at night and we blow you kisses when we see your little light, do you see us? Or feel our Kisses? I sure hope so. Take care my Little Man, I will talk with you soon again, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow so I will tell you everything, I Love You Jayce Rylan, Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Tuesday, September 2nd 2008 - 10:20:16 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi my Sweet Little Angel, sorry its been a few days since I wrote, I have been pretty sick as Nana already told you, its a shame we all had to get sick around the same time. I want you to keep watching over your Nana, it kinda scares me, the doctors say she has double pneumonia so please baby if you can help her to get better again. I Love You Jayce, did you see everybody at me and your sisters birthday party? I can't believe I have a 4 year old daughter, time goes by sooo fast, it makes me think how you would almost be 1 year old soon, I wanna do something on that day in your memory but I can't figure out what? Its gonna be a really hard day for Mommy. I wanted you here so bad My Little Warrior, I so want all my children to be together and love and play with eachother, I will always wonder why it had to be this way.? My birthday is tomorrow, I haven't figured out what I'm doing for it yet, I know I'm going to the movies and then...? Can't really do much to celebrate when your pregnant. Just continue to watch over your family and the little one on the way. I will hold you in My Heart Forever n Ever Jayce. Mommy Loves You too too much and so so much! Take care Baby, play nice today with the other babies, oh I bet its so beautiful where you are, one day I will be there next to your side again, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Saturday, August 23rd 2008 - 09:58:18 AM

JAYCE RYLAN MANTZ:

Hi There sweetie pie,How have you been? Nana has been really sick for a whole week now.I have been to the emergency room twice and to my Doctors office once.Your poor Pappy has not been able to go to work all this week. He has been taking such good care of your nana.I dont think any of the Drs. know what they are doing.I may have lymes Disease,but that test wont be back till Tuesday.I have been feeling your presence all around me all this week.How I miss you little Jayce.Where you watching when your sister and mommy had there birthday party? Did you see Lexi riding the pony? I bet you get to go for pony rides up in heaven all the time,maybe even UNICORN rides.That is what Lexi really wanted this year she said because UNICORNS CAN FLY.Your mommy and Alexiyah are both sick right now too.The Drs. say they both have viral infections and this scares me so much honey boy,cos right around this time when mommy was pregnant with you she also had a viral infection.Please little angel boy of nana watch over your mommy and new little brother and keep them safe ok? Know how much I love and miss you and always will.Sweet dreams
Jayce Rylan,Eternall love,nana Kim and your pappy too.xxooxxooxxooxxooxxooxxooxxxoooxoxoxox

Friday, August 22nd 2008 - 04:30:19 PM

Aaron James:

Hey You! It has been so long since the last time I wrote to you on here. I think I have gotten to the point where, if I want to tell you something I talk to you no matter where I am. Ow how I miss you......
I don't relly need to update you b/c I know you are with us. Can you believe how big your little sister is! Ow Aaron she is the very best gift you could have ever given us. She has gotten mommy through some terrible times I see so much of you in her! She has your sweetness and she is getting your hair (thankfully). I love her to pieces but it does not even compare to the special bond you and I had and still have. Ow I could hold you for hours, that crazy lady won't sit still for two seconds. I miss you buddy! I always wonder what it would be like to have you with us. We would be the perfect family of 4 that is for sure. You know no matter what you are my first baby and no one can ever change that. I remember every second of your life and I will keep all those memories with me until the day we meet again.
So, Mommy is going to have another baby! How crazy is that! I am excited but as always terrified! Aaron, I know you helped me get through my pregnancy with Paige, do you think you could do it again? I could really use some help and please bless this baby and keep it safe till it is ready to come live with us. I know you brough Paige to us, I am hoping you will do the same for your brother or sister. Sometimes, I feel like we are so lucky we have a healthy little girl and we barely had to try for another baby but then I think I will have had 3 babies and only have 2 to show for it. Ow Aaron we tried for so long to get you and we worked so hard to keep you with us, those were the best and hardest 11 months of my life and I still feel like we lost but I try to remember all that we learned and all the gifts you gave and continue to give us. I still see your little smile when I close my eyes! I just wanted to share our news with you (like you did not already know) and ask that you keep this baby safe for us. I would love to have a visit in my dreams if you are up for it :-) Mommy misses you and loves you so very much! To the moon and back! Big Hugs! Love always, Mommy

Thursday, August 21st 2008 - 07:28:55 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi sweetheart, mommy just wants to talk a little bit before I go to sleep. As you probably know yesterday was your sisters birthday, she turned 4, we went to a carnival and she had a great time, but I want you to know that I didn't forget that it was your 10 month milestone, so it was tough for me because I just wanted my two babies together. I'm happy to have my two children born on the 15th but its also difficult cause I Miss You soooo much. Tomorrow your sister and I are having a huge birthday party at your Nana Kims house and I want you to be there with us in spirit. Your new little brother has been moving around a lot in mommys belly! Just please please, if you can try to protect him and make sure everything is ok Baby. I Love You too too much my Little Angel and I always will. I am going to bring lots n lots of flowers to you tomorrow after the party. Goodnight My Son, sleep tight Baby, Love always n Forever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Saturday, August 16th 2008 - 08:39:24 PM

christopher gabriel dawes:

hello beautiful boy, its almost been a year without you. we only had 18 wks with you, hardly enough time. you were so perfect with big blue eyes and the most cheeky smile. just wish you were here. mummy misses you so so much, im really proud of her and im sure you are. i know it sounds silly to some people but im sure you came to see me the other day while i was ironing, i heard your little footsteps and a saw your blonde hair. i love you christopher and one day we will all be together again, we will think of u everyday untill then xxx love you so so much baby boy xxx auntie jannine and uncle keith xxxx

Saturday, August 16th 2008 - 05:58:29 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Little Baby boy, I know I haven't been writing you as much as I usually do but I want you to know that I do come on this site everyday and read the letters that I write you. Today 9 months ago was when your funeral was held and I just keep replaying it over and over in my head, I can't help it. God I MISS YOU Why did things have to be this way? Why did you have to leave me and go to Heaven? Your life here on earth was too short, I hope you got to rexperience life somehow, I just want to know what you're doing, I want to see you, hold you in my arms and rock you to sleep at night, I want to feed you, bathe you, why was I cheated out of all of this? I guess I will never get the answer I'm looking for, just know that you are loved tremendously and one day My Little Angel we will be reunited. I can say that I am not afraid of death anymore because I know that when I go I will be with you. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU and I Always will, there will never be a day when I don't have a thought about you, and that's what true love is all about. Take care my little one and Sleep Tight tonight, Hugs n Kisses Forever n ever....your Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Wednesday, August 13th 2008 - 08:56:21 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Sweet Little Boy, how are you today? You left us all nine months ago today and I am Missing you sooo much, everytime the 8th comes around I feel so empty, so lost like I don't have a thought in my head. Alexiyah is with her Daddy today while I'm working, I told him he could keep her overnight because I know I'm gonna be emotional, your sister has been a little better, did u have a talk with her? If so, thankyou. I cannot believe you have been away from me for this long, its not getting any easier for me. I have been blessed with a Little Boy again, yes mommy is pregnant, that was the secret but I'm pretty sure you already knew that. The doctors say everything is fine but I'm worried still because that's what they said with you. I just wish they would of done more when I told them I felt something was wrong, its like the doctors just thought I was paranoid and they didn't listen, but now since I lost you they're taking every precaution possible and I wish they would have done the same for you. I'm happy to have another little Boy but I want you to know that he is not a replacement, you My Angel will never be replaced, you are sooo special to me and Always will hold a special place in my heart. Now I'm always gonna feel like I should have 3 kids with me not 2, its never going to go away, this feeling I have inside me. Just know that you are Loved and Cherished more and more with each day that passes, and you are a big brother and a little brother now! I will tell your little brother about you when he is old enough to understand, and guess what? He is going to have Jayce for a middle name. Watch over your family and especially the little one in my belly because I couldn't handle losing another Sweet Son, it would destroy me. I Love You too too much and soo soo much! That's what your sister always says! Take care My Little Warrior Angel and one day I know we will hold eachother again and I will do all the motherly things that I wanted to do while you were here with me. Hugs n Kisses Forever n ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxI Love Youxoxoxo

Friday, August 8th 2008 - 10:17:04 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning to nanas little fellow,How are you today? My goodness,soon you will be 10 months old.I think of you each and every day.So does your mommy and sister.Alexiyah seems to be giving your mommy a hard time here of late.Give her a little talking to ok? Nana and pappy are having Lexi and mommys birthday party up here on the 17th of August.We are having a pony again this year for Lexi.Boy,how lucky is she to have a REAL pony for all the kids to ride at her party? You remind her for nana how lucky she really is.I know you are with us all in spirit.Know that we love you with all our hearts and souls.I know that one day we will be with you again.All my love to my little honey boy,my sweet sweet grandson,my Jayce Rylan,Your Nana Kim.

Tuesday, August 5th 2008 - 04:46:06 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Angel, I am missing you sooo much today, I took Alexiyah to Musikfest and at first everything was ok we were having fun and then out of nowhere she started to be really nasty to me, she told me she doesn't want to see me anymore and that she's going to live with her Daddy and it hurt me to hear that. I can't help but to think if you were here she would be different, nicer, proud to be you big sister, I just don't know why she is so miserable at times, I try my hardest to make her happy. I just Love you so so much and wish everyday that you were with us. I have to bring you new flowers, I know its been a while and I am sorry Baby, I promise to stop over to visit with you tomorrow. Today Alexiyah said she Loves You and wants you back, we all do Angel, Sleep tight My Little Warrior, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Monday, August 4th 2008 - 09:05:09 PM

Kaia Cristiana Verbeten:

My sweet, sweet, Kaia,

Your due date is so quickly approaching, and with each day I fear that day. I know what it would have brought, and my arms will be empty. I miss you in my womb and can't wait to see you.

Love you, Mommy

Monday, August 4th 2008 - 02:23:20 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Baby I wanna say goodnight and that I Love You so so much,Sleep tight Angel, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Saturday, August 2nd 2008 - 11:28:52 PM

Gabriel Alexander Martinez:

It's been almost 10 months since I lost you. A day never goes by that I don't think about you. I thought maybe over the months, the pain and empty feeling would heal. I was wrong. It seems that it will always be as heavy on my heart as it was when it happened. You will always be mommys little man, always be my first angel. I was and still am so blessed to have had you in my life. Even if our time was very short and I never got to hear you cry or see you open your eyes. I know 1 day, I'll be able to hold you and snuggle with you. You are mommys strenght and you give me the courage to go on everyday. I live my life now as if I would have for you my little man. I was privledged enough to have a Guardian Angel and I know with you anytime is possible.

I love you so much and miss you tremendously every single day. Keep watch over your Gramma and Uncle Josh-- and take care of your daddy. He still misses you very much.

Keep me strong my little fat butt and hopefully soon you will bless mommy with another little bundle of joy.

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS GABRIEL!

Mommy

Saturday, August 2nd 2008 - 09:54:55 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi sweetheart, how are you today? I'm ok I'm going to work for a little bit and then ill be doing hair until later tonight. Alexiyah is with her Daddy this weekend I think she's going to Musikfest it started today, I Love You Baby and I want to bring you new flowers tomorrow, Have a nice day today My Little Warrior, I Miss You, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Friday, August 1st 2008 - 11:47:13 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi my Sweet Sweet Angel, did you see all of us out on the boat on Sunday? We had a blast even though it was raining at first, but then it got beautiful, did you have something to do with that Baby? Your sister was a little scared but that didn't last too long! She went on the raft with Nana and got pulled by the boat it was funny! I Miss You Jayce, did you see the beautiful flowers I left with you on Sunday? Musikfest is starting this Friday and oh how I wish I could take you there, its soo fun for kids your Sister always has a great time she never wants to leave, just keep watching over us My Angel and see all of the family things we do, I just wish you could be a part of it all, but If you watch us then I guess I have to accept that no matter how hard it is. I Love You Jaycie, Sleep Tight tonight Baby, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Wednesday, July 30th 2008 - 02:43:15 PM

Jonathan Haskins:

Hey Sweet Baby Boy,
Just wanted to say that I love you and I miss you very much. Your big brother Joshua prays for another baby each night before going to bed, he is not wanting to replace you, but that is his way of expressing how much he wanted you. He always referred to you as his baby and still does.

Just remember we love you very much and my heart aches to hold you.

Love, mommy

For all of you who would like to read our story, please go to:
www.caringbridge.org/visit/jonathanhaskins

Wednesday, July 30th 2008 - 09:41:36 AM

Jonathan Haskins:

Hey Sweet Baby Boy,
I just wanted to let you know that I love you and miss. Your big brother Joshua is praying for mommy to have another baby everynight before he goes to bed. This is not to "replace" you, but his way of expressing how much he wanted you - he called you his baby and still does when he speaks of you.

Anyway, just wanted to say I love you.

For the other parents who would like to read our story, please visit:
www.caringbridge.org/visit/jonathanhaskins

Also, please feel free to sign our guestbook. Journaling through this process has helped and I know many other people who have shared their stories using this website and it also provides a way for friends and families to encourage you through your journey. Just thought I would share this information - it has helped me to create this memorial to our son Jonathan.

Tuesday, July 29th 2008 - 06:40:05 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Little Sweetheart I just wanted to talk with you for a little before I go to bed, I Miss You so much Jayce I think about you all the time and always wish you were here, I Love You My Angel. Yesterday your sister made it in the newspaper on the front page, she was sooo happy she was showing everyone! Tomorrow were going out on the boat and I want you to watch how much fun we have together and know that you could of been loved sooo much, I mean u are, but it will just never be the same, I always got to wonder, I really hope and pray that you get these letters read to you or you hear me as I write them, I wish I would have a dream with your face in it, I haven't yet and I don't understand why? I think about you everyday and when I go to bed I can't dream of you, pop pop said that maybe that's because that's suppose to be my time of rest away from thinking about it all the time. I just can't help but think of all the messed up things you went through while you were here with me and you know that If I could of changed anything or done anything else for you I would not of hesitated, without a thought I would have done it because that's how much I care for you, that's why I will never understand why you couldn't stay with me. I will hold you again one day my Son and I Swear I will neve let you go, I Love You with all of My Heart, Goodnight My Little Warrior Hugs n KiSses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Saturday, July 26th 2008 - 09:09:20 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Goodnigt My Little Angel I Love You so so much Baby, Sleep Tight Hugs n Kisses Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Friday, July 25th 2008 - 09:55:27 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning to nanas sweet Jayce Rylan.What a cool,beautiful morning it is today.How is my sweet angel doing? I miss you so very much.It is hard to beleive that you will be a year old in just a little over 2 months.I will always wish and wonder WHY God wouldnt let you stay here with all the ones that love you.Your mommy is doing pretty good,she has a job working with pop-pop and she is making good money and I think that makes her feel good,Lexi is getting so big.I know she would have been such a great big sister to you,she misses you a lot too.On Sunday Pappy and I are going to take your mommy and sister out on the boat for the first time. I hope the weather is good and that Lexi likes the boat.Please watch over all of us little angel,keep us safe.Mommy will bring you some pretty new flowers after our boat ride Sunday.Dont play too hard today and sleep tight tonight.We all love you Jayce,sweet,innocent grandson of mine,eternall love to you.You are our honey boy forever,Nana and Pappy Sutliff.We love you love you and love you some more.xxxx000xxx000xxxx0000xxxx0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x00x0x0x0x0x0x0x00x0x0x0x0x.............

Friday, July 25th 2008 - 04:58:52 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Little Angel, I'm sorry I haven't been writing to you as much baby, Mommy has a job now working with pop-pop and boy am I exhausted at night. I just got Alexiyah back today she was gone for 4 days and I Missed her so much, I Miss You too Jayce a whole whole lot, My life is just not complete without you and even though you are not physically here you are My Little Boy and Always will be, I Love You more than words could ever say. Sleep Tight Mommys Little Warrior, I hope that you here me pray to you at night, Goodnight My Son, My Love, I am going to bring you flowers on Sunday. Hugs n Kisses...Mommy. Oh and Alexiyah went to this picnic/park thing today and she made you a necklace so we will bring that also on Sunday, Take care Angel Baby xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Thursday, July 24th 2008 - 08:54:46 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi my Little Sweetheart I just want to say goodnight and I Love You so much Angel, I Miss You Baby Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Wednesday, July 23rd 2008 - 11:10:06 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Goodnight My Sweet, Sweet Little Angel Baby. I Love You and I will talk with you tomorrow, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Sunday, July 20th 2008 - 10:06:01 PM

Christopher Gabriel Dawes:

Today is 10 months since you went to heaven & 10 months without you in our lives, it is hearbreaking Christopher, we will love & think of you every day as always, your ever devoted mummy..We miss you so much cheeky monkey x x x x

Sunday, July 20th 2008 - 01:15:18 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Angel, I Miss You Baby, I stopped by yesterday...do you hear me when I go there and talk to you? I hope so, I Love You Jayce and I know I say it all the time but I just wish that you could be here with me instead of writing to you. Take care My little Warrior and I have to bring you some more flowers soon, the ones that are there aren't looking that nice, Hugs n Kisses to My Guardian Angel, All My Love Forever n Ever...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Saturday, July 19th 2008 - 03:35:15 PM

Lacey Veronica:

My immortal beloved.
Ever thine,
Ever mine,
Ever ours.
Star of our Heaven. I am here for you.
Your Mummy xx
16/7/08 Due 30/1/09

Saturday, July 19th 2008 - 09:09:45 AM

Lacey Veronica:

My immortal beloved.
Ever thine,
Ever mine,
Ever ours.
Star of our Heaven. I am here for you.
Your Mummy xx

Saturday, July 19th 2008 - 09:07:51 AM

Christopher Gabriel Dawes:

Hello my precious baby, mummy hasn't wrote to you in ages on this site & i am sorry, i find it all difficult darling, i used to write every day on maternity leave, but after finding out your death was preventable, i have found it hard to understand why you had to die, you were ill all that time, 3 weeks isnt a lot to some people, but you were 4 months old, a third of your life was spent being ill, 2 and half days before you died, i literally begged the dr to do something, tests at least, but they said it wasnt necessary & that you would get over it, i tried my darling, so much, i knew you were ill, the hospital sent you home & dr's did not listen, i have recently been told that all dr's can go off is a mothers instinct & when i asked why no one listened, they said it was because they though i was neurotic & that you were happy & feeding..before i die, i am going to make people listen to people like me, & i will not let your life mean nothing Christopher, your life was here with mummy & daddy & your family & friends & people should have not ignored that, you are still our life & everyday i will love you & adore you and every second of the 4 months you spent was immense, it was pure love & devotion, & that hurts so much, you were wanted & loved & will always my cheeky monkey, mummy & daddy are not far away, i just want you so very much baby, just to love & hold again & kiss your face to sleep, run my fingers down your nose whilst your eyes are closing & mummy smiling at your contentment, it was beautiful, just like you..night sunshine boy, we will always think of you & love you to eternity x x x x x x

Thursday, July 17th 2008 - 03:11:34 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi my Sweet Angel, I just got done dropping some beautiful flowers off with you, I hope that you like them. I Love You soooo much Jayce, Sleep Tight Baby I will talk with you tomorrow, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Wednesday, July 16th 2008 - 07:34:05 PM

Ronan Donnelly Walker:

Dear Ronan,

The sight of the sun rays dancing on the river today was enough to reduce me to tears. My little seal, as your name means - why were you taken from me? Why were we not able to save you? You were a much loved and wanted little boy, so why couldn't you stay here with Mommy? Perhaps we'll never know.
My beautiful, raven - haired boy with sparkling blue eyes, running along the shores of Heaven - oh, how I love it when you visit me in my dreams! Please continue to do so every so often, so that I know you are safe and happy.
Please continue to watch not only over me, but over your daddy as well. While I know he doesn't always show his feelings, please know that that's just his nature. But on the inside, I know he loves you just as much as I do. After all, who could help loving such a precious angel as our Ronan?
And now, my little seal, Mommy must go. Please help to give me strength, as the world I live in is not always kind. But I want you to enjoy Paradise until we are reunited. And until that time comes, my beautiful boy, I will hold you in my heart.

Hugs and kisses,

Mommy

Wednesday, July 16th 2008 - 01:32:41 PM

charles j commander v:

dear baby of mine,
it has been since february that you went to god. i cant take life very well anymore. i thought it would get better. but the more time goes by the more i seem to be losing. i go to a doctor today to try to help me still live on this earth without you and exist knowing i have to let go of your daddy too. but hes still here on earth. please ask god to show me more signs. i love you my son. i love you my precious boy. i miss you. i wish that you would have been able to live. i have no words to express. but you must know my heart and my soul. love mommy

Wednesday, July 16th 2008 - 09:39:58 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Happy 9 month birthday to my precious little grandson. I miss you and love you so very much Jayce Rylan.Every day I wish you could be with all the ones that love you.Your beautiful sister Lexi and mommy are coming up tomorrow,along with your cousins Michelle and Alex. You will be with all of us in spirit.Nana and Pappy hold you in our hearts and our memory.Cant wait to see you again one day.Eternally your nana and pappy sutliff.Butterfly kisses and a million hugs.xxxooooxxxxooooxxxxxooooooxxxxooooxxxoooxoxxooxxooxxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox.

Tuesday, July 15th 2008 - 05:00:52 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Angel Baby, I can't sleep I keep thinking about you today you are 9 months old already and I can't stand it anymore, I want you here sooo bad Jayce. I can't describe how much I Miss You but you should know that it is an awful lot. I wonder all the time of what you are doing in Heaven?, I just wish so badly that I could at least see you everyday and watch you as you grow baby, it is so hard not being able to at least know for sure that you are truly being taken care of, My Heart is soo heavy for you Jayce, I will Always care and think about you for the rest of my life. You are beyond precious to me, you are My Little Angel and nobody can ever take that away from me like they took you, I'm so numb right now that it is hard to cry I can't do anything to have you back in my life, and its so hard knowing that I can pray and wish all I want and it will never happen until, of course I go. I am so so sorry Jayce for everything you had to go through in the 24 days you were here, just know that I never gave up on you, not once and I never wanted to let you go, I would have done absolutely anything to have you here in my arms right now. Sleep Tight Mommys Little Warrior. I Love You, I Love You, I Love You, Muah, Hugs n Kisses My Sweet Sweet Angel...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo. Forever In My Heart xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Monday, July 14th 2008 - 10:36:30 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi my Sweet Baby I Love You and I Miss You so Much, Sleep tight My little Angel, I will talk with you tomorrow, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Saturday, July 12th 2008 - 08:10:21 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi sweetheart, do you like the flowers I brought you today? I promised Alexiyah that she could come with me to visit with you tomorrow. I Love You Baby, sleep tight My Little Warrior Hugs n Kisses...Mommy

Friday, July 11th 2008 - 10:10:53 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Sweet Angel, how are you today? I'm ok I was sick for most of the day, I just dropped your sister, Alexiyah off at Nana Kims house and she's going swimming and sleeping over, I'm going to pick her up tomorrow and we are all gonna pick flowers to bring to you Baby. I Miss You sooo much Jayce. I wish instead of writing these letters you were here to experience it all, you are sooo loved by so many people Sweetheart but I'm glad that I can write to you because If not I think I would go crazy, this makes me feel closer to you. Just please Baby know how much I Love You and think about you. Sleep tight My Little Warrior, I will talk with you again tomorrow Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Thursday, July 10th 2008 - 04:52:37 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi sweetheart I'm sorry I didn't write you a longer letter yesterday but it would of been really hard. I can't believe you have been gone for 8 months already it doesn't seem that long, it really does feel like you were with me a couple days ago. I Miss You so so much Baby and I Love You with all of my heart, I think about you every single day. Just know how much I care about you My Little Angel. Take care Jayce I will talk with you again tonight before I go to bed, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Wednesday, July 9th 2008 - 04:02:27 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi My Little Angel, I just wanted to say I Love You and Goodnight, I will talk with you in the morning Sweetheart, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Tuesday, July 8th 2008 - 08:23:28 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Good morning to nanas little Jayce Rylan,How are you today honey? Are you still sleeping?or do you get up real early in the morning?It is 7a.m.I could not sleep last night.8 months ago today you left all of us,Next Tuesday you will be 9 months old already.I just cant believe how fast the time goes by.Its funny how it seems like only yesterday that you were born and that you left us.Pappy bought nana a speed boat to have fun on the river with,it was a one year anniversary present.Mommy and Lexi are doing ok,but Lexi really misses you and sometimes acts up for mommy.I will take her out on the boat and maybe that will help.How I miss you sweet Jayce,and how I love you with all my heart.I shall never forget you. I always keep fresh flowers from my garden by your picture. Have fun today playing with all the other little angel babies,dont get too sunburned. Much love and a million kisses sweet little grandson of mine.

Tuesday, July 8th 2008 - 07:56:53 AM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi sweetheart I just wanna say Goodnight My Little Angel and I will talk with you again in the morning. I Love You Baby, sleep tight Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Monday, July 7th 2008 - 09:33:30 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi my Sweet Little Angel, how are you today? I'm alright your sister is playing with her friend Kiana, but boy your big sis can be a handful at times! I Think a lot of the way she acts has to do with losing you, that's why I try not to get too upset with her. I Love both my children sooo much and I can't tell you enough how I wish you two could be together, we all missed out its not right, I will never understand why things had to be this way. Just know that I LOVE YOU JAYCE with all of my heart and soul. Take care My Little Warrior, Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Monday, July 7th 2008 - 12:54:25 PM

Jayce Rylan Mantz:

Hi my Sweetheart, you were probably already sleeping but I took Alexiyah for a carride so she would fall asleep and I decided to stop by and talk to you for a little. I wish I knew that somehow you get to hear these letters and that you can see me from Heaven. Its so hard not knowing all the things I wonder like...do u know who your Mommy is? Because I don't see why God would let you look at me everyday and know that you can't be in my arms, that wouldn't be fair, but I know that when I go there we will know eachother I don't know If you will be grown or still a Baby, I guess I have to wait and find out. 9 months you would be soon and you have been gone for almost 8, its so hard not having you around. Everytime I do something with your sister I wish you were there too. I LOVE YOU JAYCE with all of my heart, I will stop by tomorrow with some flowers, me and Alexiyah. Sleep tight My Little Angel Hugs n Kisses...Mommy xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Saturday, July 5th 2008 - 08:19:51 PM

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